No Gaetz, No Glory

Summary

Episode Summary: "No Gaetz, No Glory"
Release Date: November 23, 2024
Podcast: Lovett or Leave It by Crooked Media

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Introduction

In the "No Gaetz, No Glory" episode of Lovett or Leave It, Jon Lovett and his dynamic lineup of guests navigate through the tumultuous landscape of American politics and cultural happenings with their signature blend of humor and insightful commentary. The episode delves into significant political appointments by former President Donald Trump, controversial legislative moves regarding transgender rights, and scrutinizes the latest endeavors of prominent figures like Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy. Additionally, the hosts engage in entertaining segments that provide levity amidst serious discussions.

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Trump's Cabinet Appointments and Political Maneuvering

Timestamp: 00:37 - 08:01

Jon Lovett opens the episode by dissecting President Trump's recent cabinet appointments, presenting a critical view of Trump's choices:

• Dr. Mehmet Oz as Head of CMS:
  “Good luck, Dr. Oz. This isn't a TV job. This isn't a flashy job. This is a real fucking job.” (03:15)

• Linda McMahon as Secretary of Education:
  Lovett highlights McMahon’s controversial background, including lawsuits alleging her and her husband's inaction against sexual abuse within WWE: “McMahon has no experience as an educator, but she is a defendant in a lawsuit alleging that she and her husband were aware that five WWE ring boys were being sexually abused...” (04:50)

• Matt Gaetz's Confirmation Battles:
  The discussion shifts to the resistance within Congress against confirming Gaetz to a high-level position: “Marjorie Taylor Greene jumped in to allege that those other members of Congress have skeletons of their own.” (06:10)

• Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy's Podcast Initiative:
  Lovett criticizes their attempt to influence public policy through a new podcast: “Elon and Vivek are going to want to make this about scientific research projects that sound silly or expensive boondoggles...” (07:30)

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Controversial Transgender Bathroom Legislation

Timestamp: 08:01 - 09:24

Mark Evan Jackson provides a poignant analysis of recent legislative attempts to restrict transgender individuals' access to bathrooms reflecting their gender identity:

• Nancy Mace's Resolution:
  Jackson condemns the resolution introduced by Republican Congresswoman Nancy Mace aiming to ban transgender women from using women's restrooms in the Capitol: “What Nancy Mace and what Speaker Johnson are doing are endangering all women and girls.” (08:12)

• Impact on Safety and Inclusivity:
  He elaborates on how such policies foster an environment of suspicion and potential assault: “If you ask them what is your plan on how to enforce this, they won't come up with an answer.” (08:45)

• AOC's Response:
  Highlighting Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's stance, Jackson underscores the broader implications: “AOC rightfully pointed out that what all of this boils down to is an attack on women.” (09:00)

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Budget Priorities and Social Program Cuts

Timestamp: 09:24 - 17:14

Lovett critiques the Trump administration's fiscal policies, emphasizing the disproportionate tax cuts for the wealthy at the expense of essential social services:

• Military and Social Spending:
  Lovett cites data from the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, noting that 75% of the federal budget is allocated to military spending and essential social programs: “Most of the budget, 75% of the budget is military spending, along with health insurance for seniors and children...” (10:45)

• Tax Cuts for the Wealthy:
  He argues that the administration's focus on cutting taxes for the wealthy would necessitate either increased deficits or cuts to social programs: “Cutting the benefits that go to 70 million Americans in order to cut taxes for the 400 wealthiest families in America.” (12:30)

• Social Security and Healthcare:
  Discussing past Republican efforts, Lovett warns of potential threats to Social Security and healthcare: “Earlier this year, the Republicans in the House unveiled a budget that raised Social Security's retirement age...” (14:10)

• Public Perception and Media Influence:
  He laments the media's role in obscuring the real impacts of these policies: “We live in the information environment that functionally exists to make the simple reality of the choice in our elections unintelligible.” (15:00)

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Cultural Commentary and Societal Frustrations

Timestamp: 17:14 - 27:28

Jon Lovett transitions to lighter yet critical cultural observations:

• E. Coli Outbreak from Organic Carrots:
  Highlighting public health concerns, Lovett comments on the spread of E. Coli: “Do you think you're gonna just walk into a store and buy some organic carrots now?” (18:05)

• Sing-Alongs at Movie Theaters:
  Addressing social etiquette, he discusses the trend of audience members singing along to films, drawing frustration from other attendees: “I have a reservoir of frustration and rage in my soul. And if people start singing in my theater, I promise you they will stop...” (19:30)

• Jay Leno's Accidents:
  Lovett narrates the series of mishaps experienced by comedian Jay Leno, blending humor with a touch of sympathy: “Jay Leno was staying at a Hampton Inn...he looks like he owed some bad people money.” (25:00)

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Guest Segments and Entertaining Interactions

Timestamp: 27:28 - 57:02

Brad Turbo Segment:

• Introduction of Brad Turbo:
  Brad Turbo, portrayed by Wendy Malek, embodies a "masculinity influencer." Their banter sets the tone for a satirical take on modern masculinity: Wendy Malek: “Men are tired of being afraid of women being afraid of them. We're tired of it, and we won't stand for it.” (29:10)

• Discussion on Trump's Victory:
  Brad expresses enthusiasm over Trump's win, framing it as a resurgence of traditional masculinity: Wendy Malek: “Trump is gonna make straight marriage legal again, too. I'm really excited about it.” (30:09)

"Was I In This?" Game:

• Interactive True or False Segment:
  Hosts Matt Rogers and guests Mark Evan Jackson and Wendy Malek engage in a game where they answer true or false statements about their acting roles, blending trivia with humorous debate: Mark Evan Jackson: “I appeared on two episodes of the iconic sci-fi horror prank show Scare Tactics.” (41:26)

• Notable Quotes:

  • Matt Rogers on voicing Yzma:
    “I have a friend who is a conductor, and she was really pissed off about that one.” (43:12)
  • Jonathan Lovett on Acting Experiences:
    “It was all about collaboration, which is such...” (50:30)

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Thanksgiving and Gratitude Segments

Timestamp: 71:19 - 86:52

As Thanksgiving approaches, the hosts shift focus to themes of gratitude and personal reflections:

• Gotta Have Things Segment:
  Guests share small, joyful moments from their week, fostering a sense of appreciation amid chaos: Wendy Malek: “I have two Chiweenies, Bumper and Tiny, that bring me so much joy.” (87:17)

• Brad Turbo’s Happy Place:
  Matt Rogers describes his ranch life, emphasizing the therapeutic presence of animals: Matt Rogers: “Every morning I do a little gratitude ritual...being around animals, that's always been my go-to place.” (87:31)

• Closing Remarks:
  The episode concludes with heartfelt thanks to guests and a reminder of ongoing social and political struggles, intertwined with light-hearted banter.

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Conclusion

"No Gaetz, No Glory" encapsulates Lovett or Leave It's essence—merging sharp political analysis with comedic relief. Jon Lovett and his guests navigate through critical issues like controversial cabinet appointments and transgender rights legislation while maintaining an engaging and humorous dialogue. The episode not only informs but also entertains, ensuring listeners are both enlightened and amused.

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Notable Quotes

1. Jon Lovett on Dr. Oz's Appointment:
   “Good luck, Dr. Oz. This isn't a TV job. This isn't a flashy job. This is a real fucking job.” (03:15)

2. Mark Evan Jackson on Bathroom Policies:
   “If you ask them what is your plan on how to enforce this, they won't come up with an answer.” (08:45)

3. Jon Lovett on Tax Cuts for the Wealthy:
   “Cutting the benefits that go to 70 million Americans in order to cut taxes for the 400 wealthiest families in America.” (12:30)

4. Brad Turbo on Masculinity Representation:
   “Men are tired of being afraid of women being afraid of them. We're tired of it, and we won't stand for it.” (29:10)

5. Wendy Malek on Pet Therapy:
   “Every morning I do a little gratitude ritual... being around animals, that's always been my go-to place.” (87:31)

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Note: This summary excludes advertisement segments, intros, outros, and non-content sections to focus solely on the substantive discussions and interactions within the episode.

Transcript

[John Lovett]

Hi, I'm Samuel L. Jackson. You've taken my grandfather from me.

[Matt Rogers]

You've taken my uncle, my aunts, even my mother.

[John Lovett]

Enough is enough.

[Matt Rogers]

See, my generation has something different. Hope the Alzheimer's association leads the way to end Alzheimer's and all other dementia, providing care and support, driving research breakthroughs, and promising new treatments. Donate [e-mail] hope and join generation Hope.

[John Lovett]

Hello, Los Angeles. Welcome to Love it or Leave it. The wave of celebrity lookalike competitions has finally hit la. To celebrate Shohei Ohtani. I, of course, tried to host my own lookalike contest, but apparently there weren't enough Jewish twinks post Pilates pre surgery in the area. What surgery? Kennedy.

[Wendy Malek]

Gotta get one of them.

[John Lovett]

But which one? Thank you for calling me a twink. Tonight on the show, Brad Turbo takes a victory lap for all alpha kind. Wendy Malek and Mark Evan Jackson play the game that keeps on giving. And then we all spin the wheel and say thanks, even though we're not exactly in our gratitude era. But first, let's get into it. What a week. Another week, another flawless batch of Trump appointments, much like Gremlins 2, the new batch. They all look horrible. And one of them I'd secretly like to kiss. Donald Trump has tapped Dr. Oz to lead the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, an agency that oversees health coverage for more than 150 million people and a role that has traditionally called upon a great deal of government expertise. And you know what? Here's where I'm at. Good luck, Dr. Oz. This isn't a TV job. This isn't a flashy job. This isn't commerce Secretary thrown on a kimono for a photo op in Kyoto on the importance of international relations. This is a real fucking job. And you know who doesn't love having real jobs? Doctors that are like, fuck it and climb the greasy television pole. Trump also announced on Tuesday that he selected his transition co chair, Linda McMahon, WWE co founder and wife of alleged sexual abuser Vince McMahon, to head up the Department of Education. All right, democracy, let's get ready to crumble. Kind of a mixed blessing to be appointed the head of a department that Trump wants to dismantle. The president trusts you to steer this ship into those rocky shoals merely busted up. McMahon has no experience as an educator, but she is a defendant in a lawsuit alleging that she and her husband were aware that five WWE ring boys were being sexually abused by a ringside announcer in the 80s and 90s and failed to stop it. On the bright side, Linda McMahon has not been personally accused of sexually assaulting anyone, which makes her the Malala of Trump's Cabinet. And then there's Matt Gaetz. When a number of Republicans in Congress balked at the idea of confirming Gaetz to the highest post at the Justice Department, Marjorie Taylor Greene jumped in to allege that those other members of Congress have skeletons of their own. What's wrong with having a skeleton in your closet? Said RFK Jr. Dancing with Rosemary Kennedy's bones, said Greene about her colleagues. Yes, all the ethics reports and claims, including the one I filed, all of your sexual harassment and assault claims that were secretly settled. Paying off victims with taxpayer money. The entire Jeffrey Epstein files, tapes, recordings, witness interviews. If we're going to dance, let's all dance in the sunlight. I'll make sure we do. I am used to Green issuing threats, but this is the first time she's threatened us with a good time. Also, that last line has no business being that good. If we're going to dance, let's all dance in the sunlight. I'll write QAnon Stevie Nicks cool one Trump advisor told ABC about the Gates confirmation if you are on the wrong side of the vote, you're buying yourself a primary. That is all. And there's a guy named Elon Musk who is going to finance it. Alas, the public pressure, private buttonholing, threats of primaries and public shaming, it wasn't enough to overcome the opposition to someone as odious as Gates. For on Thursday, Gates withdrew his name from consideration. There were four GOP senators who were immovable. Lisa Murkowski, Susan Collins, Mitch McConnell and Utah's Senator elect John Curtis, according to sources close to Gates said the source is close to Gates? He said that we're not close. Weird. No. Ew. Then just before we recorded, Trump nominated his former attorney and former Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi for Attorney general. Stop it. Who's Pam Bondi, you ask? Not Matt Gaetz. And that's all we're really gonna offer today. It literally just happened on Monday. Republican Congresswoman and woman who returns things to White House black market just to argue with the salesperson. Nancy Mace introduced a resolution to ban transgender women from using women's restrooms in the US Capitol. I don't know why you're booing trans women. The Republican now, why did Mase do this? Democratic Congresswoman Sarah McBride is about to become the first transgender person to serve in Congress when she takes office in January. And Nancy Mace likes to fill the silence in her life with headlines and attention. Mace enjoying the press and fundraising she's doing later added to her stunt posting a video of her taping a handwritten sign saying biological to the woman's restroom sign. That's right, Capitol visitors if you want to use the bathroom, Nancy Mace is going to need to see your genitals anyway. If any teed up post top surgery trans men want to travel to the Capitol and use these biological women's bathrooms en masse. I encourage it. Just a caravan of beefy fucking trans guys. It's what Nancy Mace has required. Get in there. When asked if the rule was designed to specifically target McBride, Mase told reporters, yes and absolutely and then some. I'm absolutely 100% gonna stand in the way of any man who wants to be in our women's restroom, in our locker rooms, in our changing rooms. I will be there fight fighting you every step of the way. There I go googling. Does Congress have HR again? They don't. They don't. On Wednesday, House Speaker Mike Johnson issued the trans bathroom ban for Congress, saying all single sex facilities in the Capitol and House office buildings such as restrooms, changing rooms and locker rooms are reserved for individuals of that biological sex. Added Johnson, women deserve women's only spaces like the kitchen. When when asked what else women deserve, Johnson froze, having literally never considered it. Given that trans visitors and guests at the Capitol have been using bathrooms without incident, the Capitol also has unisex bathrooms and each Congressperson's office has a private bathroom for them to use. The Republicans are just trying to shame McBride for being trans while grabbing headlights to prove they're fealty to hyper engaged anti trans weirdos on the Internet, ultimately achieving nothing except making trans people more fucking nervous than they already are about going to the bathroom in public. For her part, McBride responded, I'm not here to fight about bathrooms. I'm here to fight for Delawareans and to bring down cost facing families. Like all members, I will follow the rules as outlined by Speaker Johnson even if I disagree with them. This effort to distract from the real issues facing this country hasn't distracted me over the last several days. Each of us were sent here because voters saw in us something that they value. I have loved seeing those qualities. In the future colleagues that I've met, I hope all of my colleagues will seek to do the same with me. Bitch. Good luck. It's a great statement refusing to take the bait. Me, on the other hand, I'm here to fight about bathrooms. The trans bans, but also the hand dryers. They're loud. They do not Work. They blow germs everywhere. Give us paper towels. Leave trans people alone. AOC rightfully pointed out that what all of this boils down to is an attack on women. And I think we should all just watch what she had to say in full.

[Mark Evan Jackson]

What Nancy Mase and what Speaker Johnson are doing are endangering all women and girls. Because if you ask them what is your plan on how to enforce this, they won't come up with an answer. And what it inevitably results in are women and girls who are primed for assault because they want. Because people are going to want to check their private parts in suspecting who is trans and who assists and who's doing what. And so the idea that Nancy Mace wants little girls and women to drop drow in front of who an investigator. Who would that be in order? Because she wants to suspect and point fingers at who she thinks is trans is disgusting. It is disgusting. And frankly, all it does is allow these Republicans to go around and bully any woman who isn't wearing a skirt because they think she might not look woman enough. People have a right to express themselves, to dress how they want and to be who they are. And if a woman doesn't look woman enough to a Republican, they want to be able to inspect her genitals, to use a bathroom. It's disgusting. And everybody, no matter how you feel on this issue, should reject it completely. What are they doing? They're doing this so that Nancy Mace can make a buck and send a text and fundraise off an email. They're not doing this to protect people. They're endangering women. They're endangering girls of all kinds. And everybody should reject it. It's gross. Thank you.

[John Lovett]

Thank you. Really good. Speaking of toilets, Vivek Ramaswamy announced this week that he and Elon Musk, co heads of the Department of Government Efficiency, or doge, will launch a podcast about their endeavor. I'm focused on making sure that we actually accomplish the goal rather than just talking about it. So to that end, for the next little bit, Elon and I are going to start a separate track of dogecasts that explain exactly what we're doing to the public. We're not just talking about it, we're starting a podcast. Ramaswamy then pivoted directly into his first ad read saying, tired of waiting in line at the post office. Good, we just eliminated the post office. Here's the problem. Here's the problem. Elon and Vivek, they're going to want to make this about scientific Research projects that sound silly or expensive boondoggles, of which there are many. But take a look at this from the center on Budget and Policy Priorities. The federal government is an insurance and pension service that also has a few long range bombers. 75% of the budget, 75% of the budget is military spending, along with health insurance for seniors and children, retirement and health benefits for veterans, Social Security for retirees and people with disabilities, and of course, interest on the national national debt, most of which is owned by Americans, which means it goes back into the economy. All the fun stuff, the look at these bozos wasting our money stuff, is a tiny fraction of spending Elon has talked about cutting $2 trillion. You can't do this without cutting the military and the benefits that are very popular, broadly felt, and keep tens of millions of Americans out of poverty. And lo and behold, while Elon and Vivek are setting up their microphones as a freelance audio engineer, Google's Ways to Kill Himself, Trump's economic advisers and Republicans in Congress have begun discussing possible work requirements and spending caps for Medicaid, food stamps and other safety net programs in order to offset the cost of tax cuts. In other words, cutting the benefits that go to 70 million Americans in order to cut taxes for the 400 wealthiest families in America. Just one example of a proposal this is something they're discussing is a rule to stop the President from increasing the value of food stamps without congressional approval. It's not the kind of thing that'll get a lot of coverage. And actually President Biden and this bothered Republicans, issued the largest ever, the largest ever permanent increase in food stamps. Did anybody here know that happened? Some of you knew. Did anybody know how much it is? Do you want to know how much it is? How much? The largest ever increase in food stamps, once it was $36 per person. $36 per person per month. Not a lot of money, but for a lot of people making a big difference in their lives and in the lives of their children. So a little over $400 per year per person. Republicans hated this and now they want the President to no longer have this authority. Now that Trump tax cuts for households making more than $1 million, what do you think the average benefit is for Those taxpayers? It's $70,000 per year. As you go up in income, the cut is worth much more than that. If you earn at least $5 million, the cut is worth nearly $280,000 per household. So in order to cut one rich person's taxes by $280,000, so their take home goes from 2.6 million to 2.9 million. Let's say they will stop the kind of policy that allowed 700 people to get $36 extra per month to be able to afford healthier food. Is that what the undecided voters who dislike Trump but were furious about inflation wanted? Is that what Republicans campaigned on doing? Of course not. They campaigned on stopping migrant trans prisoners from becoming fabulous. But. But that's the real plan. Elon and Vivek podcasting about lazy bureaucrats in D.C. and expensive chairs at the Department of the Interior. All of that is a sideshow. They want to cut taxes for the rich. They will either run up the deficits or cut Social Security and healthcare and food stamps to do it. And they will start with programs for the poor. But it will not end there. The last time, Republicans controlled Congress and the White House, but for a handful of Republican senators saying no, they would have repealed the Affordable Care act, jeopardizing the health insurance of 30 million, not to mention increasing costs for copays and preexisting conditions that hit everybody else. Earlier this year, the Republicans in the House unveiled a budget that raised Social Security's retirement age, which is just a sweeping cut for future retirees. Did anyone here know about that? Did anyone here know that 170 Republicans endorsed raising the age for Social Security eligibility? Of course not. Because Trump wore an apron and Kamala did a whoopsie on the View. And because we live in the information environment that functionally exists to make the simple reality of the choice in our elections unintelligible. Bernie wants to say Democrats abandon the working class. Centrists blame identity politics. I personally blame Joe Biden and, of course, Chapel Roan. But Republicans campaigned like Norma Ray and governed like the heart attack at the mill that killed her father. And I'm sorry to say. But this is why we have to keep fighting, because we have to make sure people understand what Republican governance, not just the outrages and dramas and insults, but actual governance, means. Okay, now, speaking of making me sick, dozens of people have fallen ill across 18 states after contracting E. Coli from organic carrots. Could have probably done that transition better. Got him. Said Elmer Fudd, standing over the corpse of Bugs Bunny. Some fans at early screenings of the Wicked movie have been singing along in the theater. Yeah. To the frustration of other theater goers. I saw the story and it was shocking because it never occurred to me that people would sing along during the movie. Maybe that's naive because it's so obviously selfish and rude, but this Is what one person told the New York Times, A self described theater kid who said, people who are judgmental in that way, please wait to stream it. Don't go the first day and yell at people for singing, for sharing that kind of joy when we've been waiting so long in anticipation for this movie. No deal. I want everyone here to know this, and I mean this, this is sincere. I am seeing this movie on Saturday. The last couple of weeks have been so stressful and sad. I have a reservoir of frustration and rage in my soul. And if people start singing in my theater, I promise you they will stop or I will make an extraordinary scene that will take them all the way the fuck out of the experience. I'm not kidding. I'll ruin it for them. I'll ruin it for everybody. Last night when I read this story, I turned to my significant other, I really did. And I said, hey, if someone starts singing in our theater, I'm gonna tell them to stop. And I need your permission to take it all the way. If you say I can't, I will honor that. If you're not cool with it, I'll just take it. But if you give me permission, I will fight to the fucking end. And they agreed. Because I think they saw the crazy in my eyes. Because if you think I'm gonna sit there in silence and watch Cynthia Erivo sing Defying Gravity in concert with you because we have collectively abandoned all manners and common courtesy, think again. So if you care to find me, look to the AMC Burbank. As someone told me lately, everyone deserves the chance to watch a movie in a theater without listening. Rude, self centered, Internet addled freaks forgetting that they are not the center of the universe. How does, how does Trump happen? We let the little things slide and then we let the big thing slide. The line must be drawn here, this far, no farther. The line must be drawn here.

[Kennedy Hill]

This far, no further.

[John Lovett]

I will go to jail. Oh no. My parents have just got in and I'm stuck in jail. No thank you. No need to post bail. And finally, in a bizarre story I've been following closely, kayaker Ryan Borgward. Kayaker Ryan Borgward was presumed dead after he disappeared on a lake in August. However, strange signs led police to suspect the missing man may actually have faked his own death and fled to Europe. Hey, he stole my idea. Now if there is one rule for faking your own death, it's that you better not let TikTok pick up on it. Following the disappearance a man on the street interview featuring a person who sure seemed like Borgward. A real Borgwardian type. Borgward esque, if you will surfaced in which he asks the extremely level headed host this question. Need advice on anything? I go to Uzbekistan or stay here. Say that one more time. Do I go to Uzbekistan or stay here? Do you have family there?

[Wendy Malek]

No.

[John Lovett]

Why do you want to go? To meet a woman. To meet a woman. So you've given up on meeting someone here? No, I'm married. Oh yeah. Don't you just get a really bad vibe off of how he says that? Something deeply troubling. Sorry. To the women of Uzbekistans. We are sending you guys who belong at the bottom of our lakes. This week authorities confirmed what we had suspected all along. Bourguard lives. Authorities have been in touch with the missing married father of three in Eastern Europe. But so far he is refusing to return to the U.S. said Borgward. How mad does she seem? Up next, Brad Turbo returns. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up. Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Indochino this Black Friday. Instead of just looking for good deals, get a deal that will make you look good. Get quality custom made clothing right to your door with Indochino. Design the suit of your dreams and fine tune every detail, including lapels, linings, monograms, more. Set up your measurement profile on Indochino's website and choose customizations without ever leaving the house. Or book an appointment at a showroom near you and let it into Chino style guide. Walk you through every step. I ordered a suit from Indochino. So comfortable, so, so perfectly suited. I got a couple to my. To my physical form, my corpus. They look great. They look great. They're affordable in a way where you think, oh, I. A suit can't be that much. And then you're like, oh, it looks really, really nice. Yeah, it does. You can visit a showroom. I did that. I went to the, to the one next to the Cheesecake Factory in my area. So it was, you know, two great things that go great together. And I customize it. Got a nice, beautiful cool pattern, pink liner. Highly recommend it. Upgrade your closet. Shop discounted custom pieces and [e-mail] during their Black Friday sale November 18 through December 1 and their cyber sale from December 2 to December 8. That's I n d o c h I n o.com indochino.com love it or leave it is brought to you by Helix. Everybody is unique and everyone sleeps differently. That's why Helix has several different mattress models to choose from. Each design for specific sleep positions and feel preferences. I have a Dawn Lux. That's their kind of plush but firm mattress. It's important. I took the sleep quiz. I'm trying to transition from being a stomach sleeper to being a side slash back sleeper. It's not going well. It's not going well. I try. I think I can find back sleep. If you're out there and you know how you're a back sleeper. God bless you. It seems awesome. Tell me how to do it. It seems awesome. You just lie there like you're in a coffin. Fantastic. Peter, you're a back sleeper. I am. That's so cool. I want to train myself to do that. I got to put tennis balls in my pockets. That's one way you can do it.

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Cool.

[John Lovett]

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It would finally make credit card companies compete like every business across the country is supposed to do. So call your senators and representatives and tell them to pass the Credit Card Competition Act. And we're back. We all have a lot of anxiety and anger built up from the election and just, you know, everything constantly crashing down around us at once. Next week, we'll add to that ambient angst with the most tension inducing event of all. Thanksgiving with the family. That's why we all need a healthy outlet for our rage, fear and catastrophic. Enter the national dog show. That's right, every Turkey Day, over 2,000 of the prettiest and most well behaved puppers promenade in front of the judges for the title of best in show. But are they? We'll be the judge of that as we offer our candid no holds barred takes on the past winners of the national Dog show. It'll be like when we judge Olympic gymnasts, except none of these contestants can read or understand human language. So we can tear them apart and no one gets hurt. So save your emails. The dogs don't know we're being bitches. Kennedy, please show me the hounds. Up first, we have Stache, The Stelleham Terrier, 2023's best in show. I can't prove it, but I know that this dog calls other dogs racial slurs. Stash is from Pennsylvania, so maybe Kamala should have gone on his podcast. Too soon. Okay, you know what? Honestly, I. I've done this before. At first, you're not ready to laugh about Kamala, but you will be. And when you are, I'll be here. Stash's registered name is Good Spice FB Money. Stash, a name he chose after converting to Islam, doesn't mean anything. Stash's owner told people. It's an exhilarating feeling to win. Stash deals easily with multiple things happening around him. He's so well balanced and he loves to show. Of course, that was the same thing Sheryl Hines said when RFK Jr got the Cabinet appointment. Up next, this is Winston, the French bulldog best in show 2022. Winston lives in Oklahoma, where his stench comes sweeping down the plane. Best in show judge Vicki Seeler Cushman said of Winston, he has that razzle dazzle that says I am here to win tonight. You can just tell that he also goes home and is the perfect pet. Vicky, it brings us no pleasure to say this. It sounds like you want to fuck that dog. He's named after Winston Churchill since they're both physically hideous and slightly better than Hitler. What that slightly means. That's not fair to Winston Churchill. Fair to that dog slightly. And this is Claire, the Scottish deerhound. 2021 and 2020 best in show said her owner. Claire, in her mind, really believes in herself and has a lot of confidence in who she is. And if you looked like her, wouldn't you? It brings us no pleasure to say this, but it sounds like you want to fuck that dog. Look at that ugly ass dog. Where's Kristi Noem when you need her? That's right. I've got more dogs to roast. Krfk Jr. Jealous. This is Whiskey the Whippet. This is Whiskey the Whippet, 2018's best in show winner. Whiskey lives in Georgia. Yuck. I bet other dogs get Spayed and neutered. Just looking at this thing added Whiskey's owners. I could show you all of these pictures on my phone of him curled up every which way, hanging off the bed. I mean, he's just a great dog. I'm good. Brings us no pleasure to say it, but it sounds like you want to fuck this dog. Whip it. Believe me, I'd like to. This freak is Newton, the Brussels Griffin Best in show winner from 2017. I want to throw a glass of water on Newton and see if he goes gremlin piece of shit. Where's Christy? No. When you need her. And finally, we've got the last of the losers from the National Dog Show's Best in Show. Here's Vicky. She's a fluffy white toy poodle. Took Best in show in 2006. She also took her neighbor's Kamala Wall sign off her yard. And, yeah, there's footage. Vicky. Vicky is originally from Japan, and it's the worst thing they've sent over here since Hentai. Let's end with Raisin. Raisin is a Doberman who took home Best in show in 2003. Seen here Raisin a Hale Hitler Nazi ass fucking dog. I guess in 2003, every dog in the competition except for raisins, somehow turned up malt to death. Fun fact, raisins are actually toxic to dogs, which is ironic because this raisin's making me puke. All right, that. You hear Hallie laughing in the back. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Where is Christy Noem when you need her? All right, I think that's all you can tolerate. Thank you to the National Dog Show. Thank you, dogs. We needed that. All right, when we come back, Brad Turbo. And we're back. Whether or not the data ultimately bears it out, the narrative has been written. Donald Trump's win was a triumph of the manosphere, a victory of the meatheads. That narrative feels right, so who am I to question it here tonight? To give us the dude perspective on where we stand now, please welcome masculinity influencer and friend of the show. It's Brad Turbo.

[Wendy Malek]

Yes, baby.

[Kennedy Hill]

Let's go.

[Wendy Malek]

Come on. Hey. Oh, my God. It's a new day, baby.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Wendy Malek]

Oh, where the men at? Oh, there they are. Let me hear you big dogs. Woof, woof, woof. Let me hear you bark. Lot of alpha men in the audience tonight, Johnny, baby.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

The love it or leave it audience. It's all alphas. Wow. Wow, Brad, it is great to see you're in. You're in good spirits.

[Wendy Malek]

Well, listen, baby. It's raining men. John. I mean, sorry. It's the rain of men. Oh, we won, boys. Mama.

[John Lovett]

Mama. I beg your pardon.

[Wendy Malek]

Make America manly again, John. Mama.

[John Lovett]

Mama. Of course. Brad, I'm so glad you could be here tonight. I feel like you're. Well, yeah, no, you're spreading honestly stance. Yeah, no, and it's. And it's working. I feel like you're well equipped to speak to this moment.

[Wendy Malek]

Oh, I'm definitely well equipped, John, if you know what I mean.

[John Lovett]

Hey, all right.

[Wendy Malek]

I'm saying. I got a big, heavy hog, baby.

[John Lovett]

Got it. 100% got it. Yep.

[Wendy Malek]

What I'm saying is. Wait, hold on. I'm a little distracted by the way you're looking.

[John Lovett]

All right. Oh, my God. You know what?

[Wendy Malek]

You're looking good, my man. You're looking Paleo Max.

[John Lovett]

Oh, wow.

[Wendy Malek]

You've been slamming sticks of butter before you hit the weights.

[John Lovett]

No, Brad, I haven't.

[Wendy Malek]

All right, well, the trick is not to chew it. Just slide that bad boy of butter right down your throat. Pretend it's Paul Mescal or whatever. Nah, nah, I'm just kidding around. Don't pretend it's Paul Mescal. And I definitely don't deep thricks. Don't. And I absolutely don't deep throat sticks of butter as part of some kind of hot gay fantasy. I do swallow them whole, though. That's real.

[John Lovett]

Okay, well, we don't have time to unpack all of that, so let's get to some questions. So you seem pretty excited about Trump's victory. Why is that?

[Wendy Malek]

Well, this is a new dawn for men. It's so important for young men in America to see a man in the White House. Representation, manners.

[John Lovett]

No, no, that's a really. That's a really important point. It's an. It's a role model for young men.

[Wendy Malek]

Absolutely. You know what? Men are tired of being afraid of women being afraid of them. We're tired of it, and we won't stand for it. Trump is gonna make straight marriage legal again, too. I'm really excited about it.

[John Lovett]

Oh, really?

[Wendy Malek]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

You're excited to get into the whole straight marriage thing? You think that's the direction you're going?

[Wendy Malek]

It's my issue. It's my single voter issue. It didn't get a lot of press for some reason, but Trump did come on my podcast and talk a lot about it. Have you listened to my podcast?

[John Lovett]

What was your podcast? Yeah, what's it called again?

[Wendy Malek]

Meat Gobblers. With Brad Turbo.

[John Lovett]

No, it was crazy. You had trump, you had J.D. vance. They all came through.

[Wendy Malek]

Oh, my.

[John Lovett]

Guys, don't you think it's weird that Trump and J.D. vance were going to go on Rogan and obviously Meat Gobblers meet gobblers with Rod Turbo, but not Pod Save America. What do you think that is? Or love it or leave it?

[Wendy Malek]

I think it's because you sit like this. What is this? This is not the way a man sits.

[John Lovett]

I don't sit like a man. Hey, do you think there's anything Kamala could have done to win over young men?

[Wendy Malek]

I'm happy you asked, Jon, because I do.

[John Lovett]

Oh.

[Wendy Malek]

I think she could have done a little bit more of this. Could you describe to the. To the people at home what I'm doing?

[John Lovett]

Sure. Sort of. I would say it was like a coquettish. A coquettish wink and then a shoulder shimmy. Now it's sort of like a shimmy that's about the boobs now. It's a kind of a vaguely.

[Wendy Malek]

She could have done more Betty Boop shit.

[John Lovett]

Oh, it's a Betty Boop. You're Betty Boop of that assets, you.

[Wendy Malek]

Know, like a sexy over the shoulder wink. Shouldn't have talked so much about women's rights. That's for sure. I hate hearing about stuff that doesn't affect me. It's like, shut up about climate change. The temperature in my cybertruck is perfect. It's a perfect 49 degrees.

[John Lovett]

You like that cybertruck?

[Wendy Malek]

Yeah, man. Look at it. It's got hot sick angles.

[John Lovett]

It's really. No, it seems really cool. There was.

[Wendy Malek]

It's so sleek. My favorite straight male word. Sleek.

[John Lovett]

No, I. I saw somebody parking one at the Star at the Starbucks on Hillhurst. They were having a hard time.

[Wendy Malek]

Well, it's big. Like my dick.

[John Lovett]

How do you feel about Trump and Elon getting so close? Basically inseparable.

[Wendy Malek]

Okay, wait. No, stop. Literally, stop. This pisses me off so bad. Stop, stop, stop.

[John Lovett]

Okay?

[Wendy Malek]

It's not a big deal. Two guys can hang out all the time, and it's not a gay thing. Like, please leave us alone. I'm sorry. I blacked out for a second. Did you have a question?

[John Lovett]

Yeah, sure. What do you think about. What do you think about Trump's.

[Wendy Malek]

You got my plus one, right, Marco?

[John Lovett]

Yeah, your plus one.

[Wendy Malek]

Marco, baby, get the car. I mean, dude, fuck off.

[John Lovett]

Any other thoughts on Trump's cabinet picks?

[Wendy Malek]

Oh, I love them. I love them all. They're all so hung. They're all hung alphas. Even the women.

[John Lovett]

Linda McMahon hung.

[Wendy Malek]

Oh, she's a hung woman. I've actually. I've got some news, baby.

[John Lovett]

You got news? We got news from Brad Turbo.

[Wendy Malek]

Yeah. I've been appointed U.S. trade Representative. Yep. Hold your applause. No, I don't know what it entails, but I hope America's ready for some rough trade.

[John Lovett]

Well, I guess if. I guess trade would get pretty rough if tariffs are imposed. It would be some rough trade. Probably.

[Wendy Malek]

Tantriffs are not something I am advised to talk about right now. Okay.

[John Lovett]

All right. Do you have a favorite cabinet appointment?

[Wendy Malek]

Yeah. Hot take here. John Lee Zeldin for epa. He sounds great to me.

[John Lovett]

That's surprising.

[Wendy Malek]

Thinning hair, classic sign of high tea. He might not know about the environment, but come on. The guy's from Long island, home of the best nature in the country. You ever been to Fire Island?

[John Lovett]

I have been to Fire Island.

[Wendy Malek]

They got hot gu. I mean, good trees there. I like that Pete Hegseth, too. He's got a fat ass. I mean, he's qualified.

[John Lovett]

That's interesting, because you know Pete Hegsett, he marries his first wife in 2004, gets divorced five years later. He marries his second wife a year later. In 2017, while still married to his second wife, he has a baby with a Fox executive producer. He divorces his second wife, marries the producer two years later. And in the middle of that, also in 2017, a woman accuses him of sexually assaulting her in a hotel room at the California Federation of Republican Women. After he spoke there, he says it was a drunken, consensual encounter. Is that your guy?

[Wendy Malek]

I think he's got big hog energy. Okay, so, yeah, that's my guy. You know what? Like. And so what? He's got, like, a white supremacist tattoo. Don't we all have a tattoo? We regret. Minds of two Popeyes sucking each other off. It doesn't mean I'm gay. Doesn't mean anything. John. Look, only someone who loves and respects women would get married that many times. Obviously, the guy's a hopeless romantic, like me. He loves Sandra Bullock.

[John Lovett]

I bet. Eli, why all of a sudden. What are you. What are you, the Mario Brothers office?

[Wendy Malek]

Oh, I love Mario and Luigi.

[Matt Rogers]

They're great.

[John Lovett]

They're great.

[Wendy Malek]

They're great together.

[John Lovett]

You want to know something interesting? You want to know something interesting that I love from TikTok?

[Wendy Malek]

I would love to hear you say one interesting thing.

[John Lovett]

Do you know that they have a third brother? Yes.

[Wendy Malek]

Who?

[John Lovett]

Ready about to blow your mind, Dr. Mario?

[Wendy Malek]

No, that's the Brother. It's great that they have a doctor in the family. What about the parents? Are very proud.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. No, I think we never meet the parents.

[Wendy Malek]

Wow. Yeah. That's weird. Should we write it together? We're in Hollywood, aren't we? Do you want to be my creative partner, John?

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I do. Hey, Brad.

[Wendy Malek]

Hey.

[John Lovett]

What about RFK Jr?

[Wendy Malek]

Oh, come on. RFK Jr. You know, let me say something. So RFK Jr. Is an outsider, right? Let me tell you something about the experts who knew what they were doing. They were all too pussy to get behind raw milk when I said everyone should get behind raw milk. They were all too pussy when I said, make Viagra over the counter, John. So it's time to try new people. TV doctors and roadkill enthusiasts.

[John Lovett]

Honestly, I feel like. I think it's crazy more people aren't campaigning on Viagra over the counter. That seems like a no brainer.

[Wendy Malek]

It's huge, man. I mean, my dick after Viagra goes over the counter. Let me say something. The fluoride of it all.

[John Lovett]

Talk to me about the fluoride of it all.

[Wendy Malek]

I go to the gym, babe. My teeth don't need fluoride. Teeth are a muscle, John. You just gotta train them.

[John Lovett]

Brad.

[Wendy Malek]

What?

[John Lovett]

Brad?

[Wendy Malek]

Yep.

[John Lovett]

Come on. You can't really be on board with all this.

[Wendy Malek]

I gotta come clean, John. I'm so scared. I am so afraid of what's coming.

[John Lovett]

Really, Brad? You, the Brad Turbo, scared?

[Wendy Malek]

I don't know what to do. It's like winning was cool, but now guys like me are in charge of America. Fuck. I mean, I'm 10 years behind on my taxes, John.

[Matt Rogers]

10.

[Wendy Malek]

I mean, I'm 10 years behind on my taxes.

[John Lovett]

Oh, no, Brad. So I think some of this pressure must be in some ways a kind of overwhelming. You never thought it's building up and.

[Wendy Malek]

I need a release bad. Marco, get the car.

[John Lovett]

All right. Well, U.S. trade Representative Brad Turbo, everybody.

[Wendy Malek]

My deep, deep fear is just femininity leaving my body. Mama.

[John Lovett]

Mama. Everybody. Brad Turbo. And again, obviously, you can follow along with Brad on his podcast, Meat Gobblers. And obviously, if you want the bonus content, you can subscribe to Meat Gobblers. Plus, when we come back, Wendy Malek and Mark Evan Jackson. And we're back. Put your hands together for two people whose voices people actually want to hear tonight. This sucks. Kennedy. Please stop with these cruel intros. I'm begging you, please welcome the wonderful Mark Evan Jackson and the phenomenal Wendy Malik. Thank you. Lovely to see you. Please.

[Matt Rogers]

It's a mess.

[John Lovett]

It is a bit of A mess. You can sit there. We can. Great. Perfect. Hi.

[Matt Rogers]

Hi.

[John Lovett]

Thank you for being here.

[Matt Rogers]

I thought it was John Lovett. Does that come up?

[John Lovett]

That comes up. You're not the first and you won't be the last.

[Matt Rogers]

So I'm not under here. I'm here under false pretenses, you know what's so funny?

[John Lovett]

I'm so glad you said no. Well, I mean, you are, but they're not intentionally false pretenses. Sort of a happy accident on my end.

[Matt Rogers]

And for me, too.

[John Lovett]

Well, we'll see. We'll see.

[Kennedy Hill]

For the record, backstage moments ago, Wendy said, don't tell anybody, but I thought. And then the first thing you say when you make the stage.

[John Lovett]

I have to tell you something.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

I knew. I could tell from your eyes when you saw. When I came back there. You were expecting me.

[Matt Rogers]

Were you?

[John Lovett]

Well, you had this look of like. Oh, this look of sort of like, this is where I'm at.

[Matt Rogers]

You know what? But I'd be here now.

[John Lovett]

Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. So I'm good.

[John Lovett]

All right, great. Okay.

[Matt Rogers]

And they seem nice.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. It's going to be fun. It's a fun show. And actually, here's the thing. Surprisingly popular.

[Matt Rogers]

It is surprisingly popular.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. No, I know. It does quite well. People can't believe it. Now, we play a game on this show, and it's a perfect occasion to do it. It's called was I in this? Here's how it works. Because you both have such storied and varied careers, our producer will go into the audience. Mark and Wendy will give you, the audience members, a role. You, the audience member, will answer true or false. Almost feels too simple a game to need to explain. But after seven years of doing this podcast, such a game that is too simple to explain does not exist. One must explain it.

[Kennedy Hill]

That feels like a question.

[John Lovett]

Isn't that funny about explaining things? You gotta explain it or it won't work, no matter how simple. And they're smart people, some of them.

[Kennedy Hill]

I'll decide.

[John Lovett]

Mark will decide. All right, let's kick it off. Mark, do you want to kick us off with one?

[Kennedy Hill]

I can. I meant to read the first bit, and then someone will answer whether it's true or false.

[John Lovett]

That's exactly right.

[Kennedy Hill]

Should I explain it? All right, this is the statement. I played a reserved yet loving gay husband on Brooklyn Nine. Nine.

[Matt Rogers]

That is true.

[John Lovett]

That is true.

[Kennedy Hill]

That is true.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Mark played the spouse to Andre Brauer. I did. And, hey, what was it like playing gay? You know what's funny? I asked before, is he gay? And you're not?

[Kennedy Hill]

Well, I'll decide. No, I'm not, as it happens.

[John Lovett]

Oh, okay. Yeah, and that's fine. Nobody's perfect.

[Kennedy Hill]

What was it like playing gay?

[John Lovett]

Yeah, what was it like playing gay?

[Kennedy Hill]

It was interesting. It was an awful lot like playing a human being.

[John Lovett]

Oh, yeah. But you still gotta fag it up a little bit.

[Kennedy Hill]

False.

[John Lovett]

No, no. Oh, that's an extra.

[Kennedy Hill]

No, in fact, to get serious for one moment, like when I first met Andre Brauer and we were going to do this, he was like, I want to play like these two are. These characters are weirdos, but not because of who they love. They're just like super specific, hella specific characters. And as often happens in television, you get to set and things move very quickly. And pretty soon somebody was saying, roll sound, pictures up kind of thing. And I went to the showrunner, who was a friend of mine, and I said, wait, who is this guy? And he said, he's you. And I was like, oh, I. I can do that. Yeah. You may have been thinking about Modern Family.

[John Lovett]

I. Listen, maybe I once. All right, rapid fire, quick opinion on characters who are gay. And tell us how you think they did. Cate Blanchett is Carol.

[Kennedy Hill]

Oh, visual.

[John Lovett]

What do you think, Wendy? Yeah, both of you.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, can I talk? I thought she was spectacular. What was I supposed to say? Was she gay?

[John Lovett]

She was gay.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, I missed that.

[John Lovett]

She also was gay in the film Tar.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. Yeah. I have a friend who's a conductor, and she was really pissed off about that one.

[John Lovett]

Why?

[Matt Rogers]

She said, you know, it's so rare to do. To acknowledge that there are women conductors out there, and to make her insane just made my friend insane.

[Kennedy Hill]

Because it's. Because that's redundant.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, yeah, it was problematic for her.

[Kennedy Hill]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

I digress.

[John Lovett]

My friend is a conductor, also a woman. It's bad for the back conducting. Apparently they get back problems. Does your friend have back problems?

[Matt Rogers]

She's very short.

[John Lovett]

That's cool. Also, Cate Blanchett played Hela from Troy Ragnarok, Thor Ragnarok, and also.

[Kennedy Hill]

Oh, Troy Ragnarok is a movie I'd watch.

[John Lovett]

Nice. All right, Wendy, you want to do one?

[Matt Rogers]

Sure. Oh, I read it. Okay. I played Dr. Julie Barham in the second season of the Apple Plus Shrinking.

[John Lovett]

Very true. And you're very sexy at it, too.

[Matt Rogers]

Why, thank you very much.

[John Lovett]

And you kissed Harrison Ford in it.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, yeah. It was the second day of shooting. And, you know, it's very strange in television, as Mark was just discussing. You get thrown into this. You come to the soundstage. And you maybe never met the actor before. And the second day you're together, you're wearing just his shirt and making out with him, but he was so lovely. And he said, I'm so sorry that last night I had salmon and spinach, and I put a lot of garlic in the spinach. And I knew I had to kiss you today, and I hope you're okay with it. And I said, I'm fine, but can I bite your lip? And he said, yes.

[Kennedy Hill]

That'S a fair trade. That's a fair trade.

[Matt Rogers]

Fair trade.

[Kennedy Hill]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, it is.

[John Lovett]

What an interesting confession.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, well, it's all about collaboration, which is such.

[John Lovett]

What a cool trade. It's very funny to admit that, because it's like. Because he could have just like, I knew this was coming. I did it anyway.

[Matt Rogers]

He admitted it. He said my will was too weak.

[John Lovett]

But it's not even. It's like that for shrimp, for spinach and was it salmon?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, salmon. And I happen to love salmon and spinach and garlic. So it was a win. Win.

[John Lovett]

It's not a fishy. It's not a fishy fish.

[Matt Rogers]

You know, it depends. It depends. Really fresh and it's, you know, I.

[John Lovett]

Assume Harrison Ford's eating fresh salmon. I don't think he's.

[Matt Rogers]

You don't ever want to touch farmed salmon.

[John Lovett]

You know, I don't think he's doing all these franchise movies because he wants not fresh salmon. You know what I mean? You know what I'm saying?

[Matt Rogers]

I think he can work out.

[John Lovett]

Get the fresh salmon. It better be fucking fresh.

[Matt Rogers]

I hope so for his sake.

[John Lovett]

He made that movie where he was wrestling with that cartoon dog. I think it's because he likes salmon. You know what I mean? He likes it fresh. That's mine.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Mark, you want to go again?

[Kennedy Hill]

Sure. Statement. I played Dawn's dad on the Underrated. Thank you, Netflix Babysitters Club show.

[John Lovett]

True or false, sir? Oh, no.

[Kennedy Hill]

You're obviously the target demographic.

[John Lovett]

False. Why not?

[Wendy Malek]

Yeah, false.

[John Lovett]

It was false. You played Marianne's father.

[Kennedy Hill]

Richard, you played Marianne's father. That's right. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Oh.

[Kennedy Hill]

Whoever inserted the word underrated, thank you. It's worth it if you haven't seen it. It's a lovely couple of seasons of television. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Wendy's up.

[Matt Rogers]

All right.

[Kennedy Hill]

Statement.

[Matt Rogers]

I voiced yzma in the 2000 Disney animated film the Emperor's New Groove.

[John Lovett]

False. But you would have been very sexy actor. Wow.

[Matt Rogers]

But I was in it.

[John Lovett]

You were in it.

[Matt Rogers]

I was in it. But that was somebody else.

[Kennedy Hill]

Sure.

[Matt Rogers]

She Was fabulous.

[John Lovett]

You played.

[Matt Rogers]

I played chicha.

[John Lovett]

Chicha.

[Matt Rogers]

Hard to remember either chicha or chica. It was chicha, but she was the first pregnant Disney character.

[Kennedy Hill]

First sexy pregnant Disney's character.

[Matt Rogers]

All right, just calm down, Mark. This is Disney we're talking about.

[John Lovett]

Do you think Eartha Kitt would have liked me?

[Matt Rogers]

I think she would have eaten you for breakfast.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I think that's probably. And honestly, I don't like that. That would have been cool. That have been cool. All right, Mark, you're up.

[Kennedy Hill]

All right. I portrayed God on NBC's the Good Place.

[John Lovett]

That's very false, right?

[Matt Rogers]

That's very false.

[Kennedy Hill]

Super false.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, it was super false.

[Kennedy Hill]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Did you play somebody on that show?

[Kennedy Hill]

I played the devil, yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, you were the devil. Well, that's why you were talking about how you look like a mild mannered reporter, but you really. It can be evil.

[Kennedy Hill]

It's under there. Yeah. I was saying. I was saying to Wendy. Well, it'll.

[Matt Rogers]

I don't think we should. We should repeat this.

[Kennedy Hill]

It's a spoiler.

[Matt Rogers]

It's a private conversation.

[Kennedy Hill]

Yeah. I don't want Jon Lovitz knowing this.

[John Lovett]

Sometimes Jon Lovitz gets my mail. Isn't that a funny thing?

[Matt Rogers]

I bet he's envious of your gig.

[John Lovett]

I think it's. I think.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, he could probably come in and, you know, if you ever want to take a vacation, I would.

[John Lovett]

Honestly, I would love that. I would love to have John Lovett sitting here.

[Matt Rogers]

I bet he would.

[John Lovett]

I bet he'd do it.

[Matt Rogers]

Although he might not be interested in what everybody else has to say. He might want to just talk himself.

[John Lovett]

Well, honestly, we have that in common.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, good for you.

[John Lovett]

The good. The Good plays was such a good show.

[Kennedy Hill]

Thank you. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

You were great on it.

[Kennedy Hill]

Thank you.

[John Lovett]

I appreciate that. So funny. Fun. Very funny.

[Kennedy Hill]

It's a unique show in the sense that there aren't a ton of half hours about what it means to be a good person and moral philosophy. Yeah. And it's a really wonderful show.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Kennedy Hill]

If you haven't checked that out first, watch Babysitters, then watch the Good plays.

[John Lovett]

Everybody should watch the Good Place. Wendy, you're up.

[Wendy Malek]

I'm up.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm up. I voiced BoJack Horseman's mother Beatrice in Netflix. BoJack Horseman. How can they see?

[Wendy Malek]

I'll just say it's true.

[John Lovett]

It is true. Did you understand when you were a part of BoJack that it was gonna be something that became so, like, meaningful to this die hard group of fans? Did you have a sense of It. When you were reading it?

[Matt Rogers]

I kind of did. Although as the seasons went by, it just got richer and deeper. The art direction was off the charts. It was one of the most fascinating visual animated things I've ever seen. And the arc they gave me as BoJack's mother, because I was just a shrew the first few seasons, and they gave me a whole backstory where you understood why I was the way I was. And it was so brilliant. It was really one of my favorite roles of all time.

[John Lovett]

It was beautiful. I'll cry just thinking about it. It's actually interesting because the Good place, it's like BoJack and the good Place were these ostensibly, like, just comedies, right?

[Matt Rogers]

Goofy.

[Kennedy Hill]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Goofy. But beautiful, like, explorations of how to live, how to be a person, what's.

[Matt Rogers]

Important, what's not important, and heartbreaking, you know, at times. And that whole world that he created was quite wondrous and magical, and. Yeah, I was thrilled to be part of that.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. It's a beautiful performance. Yeah. Really cool. Yeah. Look, I'm getting like. I'm really like. Have anyone here not seen BoJack Horseman? Shame on you.

[Kennedy Hill]

All right, babysitters. Good place.

[Matt Rogers]

Go for the B's. Babysitters. BoJack Horseman, and the Boodblaze.

[John Lovett]

All right. And Mark. Stupid Mark, you're up.

[Kennedy Hill]

I appeared on two episodes of the iconic sci fi horror prank show Scare Tactics.

[John Lovett]

No, it's true. And we have a clip.

[Kennedy Hill]

It's a little bit true.

[Matt Rogers]

I want to see it.

[John Lovett]

Someone says, prove it.

[Kennedy Hill]

What people refer to as roid rage, you know?

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Kennedy Hill]

So we got to be careful with that. Take it easy.

[John Lovett]

Everything's going to be okay.

[Kennedy Hill]

It's okay.

[John Lovett]

Shut up.

[Matt Rogers]

Shut up.

[John Lovett]

Oh, my goodness.

[Matt Rogers]

Wow. That is truly disturbing.

[Kennedy Hill]

Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for picking something so recent. I this statement. So I'm obviously on the show. I'm on way more than two episodes, though. I did a. Before I was somebody that you might recognize. I did a lot of hidden camera prank shows, and it always felt terrible. Like, we. That show is one where a friend says to their friend, hey, come out before we go to the thing that we wanted to do. Come make $50 by going out to the nowhere desert outside Las Vegas with me to stuff envelopes or whatever, and I would play, like, a guy at whose house it seemed normal. Sweater vest. And then you'd, like. I'd ask you to go get something from my mother's room. And it was just dolls. And we would scare the fuck out of people. Like, we would take them to fight Flight. It was the worst karma television ever. I'm very good at it. But it was. We took people to the place that they thought because we'd separate them from their phone, and people thought they were going to die that night.

[Matt Rogers]

Did anybody die?

[Kennedy Hill]

Nobody died. But every once in a while, somebody would. You'd get tackled or something. Not me. I'm a ninja. But it was fun, but also, like, frightening. Every instinct as a human being that you have when things start to get crazy around you, everything within you, you want to go, I think we're okay. We're okay. We're okay. And in that show, the producers would be like, stop saying that. Go. I don't think we're okay. Do you think we're okay? To get the mark talking, it was fascinating. It's back on, I think.

[John Lovett]

Yes. It's coming back.

[Kennedy Hill]

That's right.

[John Lovett]

It's coming back.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Are you gonna go back?

[Kennedy Hill]

I don't think so.

[John Lovett]

That's too bad. You should go back now.

[Kennedy Hill]

I'm in.

[John Lovett]

Just do one.

[Kennedy Hill]

Okay.

[John Lovett]

What's gonna happen?

[Kennedy Hill]

I'll get tackled.

[John Lovett]

You get tackled? Yeah.

[Kennedy Hill]

No, I am good at it. Because you're doing two shows, you've got to often have an earwig, an IFB in your ear. So for the mark, you're doing a scary show, but for the truck, you're doing a funny show. And it's a fun puzzle as an actor, as an improviser. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Unless you're the poor bastard who you, like, dragged into that.

[Kennedy Hill]

We thought people were gonna. They thought they were gonna die. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

You know what? You sign the release.

[Kennedy Hill]

I know.

[John Lovett]

Take your chances.

[Kennedy Hill]

It's true.

[John Lovett]

Got it. Read the releases before you sign them.

[Kennedy Hill]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

A lesson I learned recently. Wendy, you're in the new show Night Court.

[Kennedy Hill]

I'll go True.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, it's the new old show.

[John Lovett]

It's the new old show.

[Matt Rogers]

It's the new boot of the old Night Court, and it's a hit.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, People love it. Yeah, of course they do. It's Night Court. It's Court at night.

[Matt Rogers]

It's Court at Night.

[John Lovett]

What's gonna happen?

[Matt Rogers]

Well, you just never know. No, it's a bunch of wackadoos that show up at this court in New York City, and I'm the new prosecutor. But I did two guests appearances on this show playing a criminally insane person who John Larroquette's character had sent to prison many, many years ago. And I tried to come back and seduce him just to get back at him and eventually mess with his head. And now I'm the prosecutor.

[John Lovett]

Is it?

[Matt Rogers]

And I said, how did that happen? It doesn't make any sense. And they said, it's night court.

[John Lovett]

Is it canonically the same person?

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I'm the same person, so I'm fine. And apparently, I was an attorney before I went to jail. I burned down my boyfriend's house or something because I was upset with him.

[John Lovett]

That's barely a crime. That's barely a crime.

[Matt Rogers]

But now, as long as I'm on my meds, I can really do my job. But sometimes I forget to be on my meds.

[John Lovett]

Well, I think that's a cool representation of people that have. Whatever that is.

[Matt Rogers]

You know, lawyers are kind of like psychologists that. A lot of them are crazy.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Yeah. But. But you like yours. You know what I mean?

[Matt Rogers]

I like her.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

You also interned for Jack Kemp.

[Matt Rogers]

I did.

[John Lovett]

In 1972.

[Matt Rogers]

I did.

[John Lovett]

Wow.

[Matt Rogers]

It was during Watergate. And Jack. Do you guys. Are any of you old enough to know who Jack Kemp was? He was a Buffalo Bills quarterback. He's from Buffalo. Turns out we actually are from the same town. Basically went to the same elementary school, which is.

[John Lovett]

Same elementary school.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah. And I just met him, and, like.

[Kennedy Hill]

We'Re very close now.

[Matt Rogers]

And now we've told each other secrets that we then shared with you. No, but Jack was. He became a congressman after being the Buffalo Bills quarterback. And my family skied with his family.

[Kennedy Hill]

And he said at Holiday Valley or Kissing Bridge.

[Matt Rogers]

Kissing Bridge.

[Kennedy Hill]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

And Glenwood Acres. Wow.

[Kennedy Hill]

Local residents.

[Matt Rogers]

And he said, if you ever want to come to Washington and see what it's like, you could come be an intern. So after college, I went to Washington during Watergate and got to spend four months there during that crazy time.

[John Lovett]

Wow.

[Matt Rogers]

It was pretty amazing.

[John Lovett]

Isn't it amazing to think of a time where the president commits crimes and everyone's like, we gotta do something.

[Matt Rogers]

Absolutely. You know, and it's amazing that that was a time where everybody stayed in Washington on weekends and they actually had dinners together. So Republicans and Democrats would go have dinners and drinks, and then they'd say, you know what? I'll help you with your bill. You helped me with mine. It wasn't. You weren't like, sleeping with the enemy to go and work things out with someone on the other side of the aisle.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. They all now go.

[Matt Rogers]

Very different.

[John Lovett]

It is very different, because it used to be they would stay there and they lived there, and now they go home for five days a week and then just absolutely thrash each other rhetorically.

[Matt Rogers]

It's hard to Imagine that during Watergate and Vietnam and all that stuff. It was a kinder, gentler time, but it was, in a way.

[John Lovett]

Yeah. Well, maybe we'll get back there one day, you know, after. You know, it's darkest before the dawn.

[Matt Rogers]

You know, they say, well, I'm hoping we're hitting bottom. And then there's only one way to go.

[Kennedy Hill]

You know that we said that four years ago, right?

[John Lovett]

No, I know. I remember.

[Matt Rogers]

I remember.

[John Lovett]

That's where I got it from.

[Kennedy Hill]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Now, Mark, you're in Red One starring Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

[Kennedy Hill]

Correct.

[John Lovett]

Is the. Is Die Hard a Christmas movie?

[Kennedy Hill]

You think, oh, wow. Let's talk more about politics. I mean, I believe it has enough trappings to qualify. I mean, it's not Home Alone, but it's a Christmas movie. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Don't you think it's strange? I agree. Don't you think it's strange that in Home Alone Never. No one ever mentions that. There's probably an insurance deductible if they have a. Probably an umbrella homeowners policy, which means that. But probably. Let's say it's a couple thousand dollars. They shouldn't really have defended the house.

[Kennedy Hill]

That's your takeaway.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, well, they never talk about it like you nearly died. To protect our things. We're a well to do Chicago family. We clearly have a good homeowner's policy.

[Kennedy Hill]

The family didn't defend the home. A 10 year old boy who's probably unfamiliar with the policy specifics.

[John Lovett]

Right? Right. No, and that's true. But we know about insurance, so why are we rooting for him to do this? The whole time? The whole. Every frame of that movie should be everyone being like, just leave. It's just a stupid house. It's just things. What kind of materialist sick goes our way?

[Kennedy Hill]

It's just things, but they're bad guys.

[John Lovett]

I guess.

[Kennedy Hill]

You'Re rooting for the Wet Bandits.

[John Lovett]

I mean, no, I mean, I guess it just sort of like they just wanted to take some stuff.

[Kennedy Hill]

Sure.

[John Lovett]

It's the kid that escalates.

[Kennedy Hill]

This is all the world he knows. Though this is existential for him. I'd put, oh, you're moving to Wendy.

[John Lovett]

He's trying to bring her into the conversation. I wanted to hear what you said, but I want to bring her in as well. I'm very interested in what you have to say. Just making conversation.

[Matt Rogers]

I didn't care for the movie.

[John Lovett]

You didn't like Home Alone?

[Kennedy Hill]

Red One.

[John Lovett]

Oh, Red One. You didn't like Red One or Home Alone?

[Matt Rogers]

I didn't like either of them.

[John Lovett]

Wow. Bracing. Mark, you're also in the new Ted Danson Show, A man on the inside. I'm excited about that.

[Kennedy Hill]

It's good. It drops tonight.

[John Lovett]

It drops tonight. I'm gonna watch it tonight. I really am.

[Kennedy Hill]

It's good. It's good. I've watched the whole thing. I won't spoil it. But Ted Danson is a national treasure and he's doing something like it's. If you liked him as Michael in the Good Place, you're gonna love him in this. It's a multigenerational, very sweet story. He plays a retired engineering professor who finds himself with time on his hands and answers a brick and mortar want ad in a newspaper and becomes a private detective in an old folks home. So there's like an actual mystery to solve. It's littered with stars from all of our lives. Sally Struthers is in it and Susan Rutan from LA Law is in it. Stephen McKinley Henderson is in it. It's fantastic. It's so loving and affirmative and positive. It's Ted being Ted. It's Ted being bumbling and sweet and trying to get things right and it's authentically hilarious.

[Matt Rogers]

What do you play?

[Kennedy Hill]

I play the jerks. I'll give you a minute. I play the jerk whose mother. The inciting incident is that my mother is in an assisted living home and something of hers that's of value goes missing. So I hire a private detective who's like, I can't just send an old man into. Yes, I can. I'll take care of it. And she seeks out Ted and he can do it.

[John Lovett]

When do you think you'd be a good private investigator? I'm going to say no. And let me tell you why. Let me tell you why. It's strange because you're such a good actor, but I can just tell what you're really thinking.

[Matt Rogers]

It's so clear on my face.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, well, I just think. I don't think you suffer fools.

[Matt Rogers]

No, it's a little bit intimidating despite.

[John Lovett]

When I'm being so foolish. And yet here you are now.

[Matt Rogers]

Here we are. Here we are. No, I don't think that would be my thing, being a private detective. You know, on law shows, I'd really prefer not to be the lawyer. Don't tell anybody at night court. I'd rather be on the stand. Oh, yeah, I like that. I like being the one who did it.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I can see that. I can see that about you.

[Matt Rogers]

No, I mean, I can do that every now and then, but Procedural stuff is not my forte.

[John Lovett]

Wendy, based on what you've learned so far, do you think Mark would be a good private investigator?

[Matt Rogers]

I think he would be fabulous.

[John Lovett]

I do, too.

[Matt Rogers]

You know I do too. Yeah, because he.

[Kennedy Hill]

I can hear you.

[Matt Rogers]

I do. No, I think that.

[John Lovett]

No, let's look at. Look at him.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, I know.

[John Lovett]

So it's such a. He's very. The same way.

[Matt Rogers]

He's very still.

[John Lovett]

He's very still. He lets you.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm not. No, I move around.

[John Lovett]

No, I think we're similar in that way.

[Matt Rogers]

I noticed you're all over this chair. You're like a monkey. So. You're like a monkey on that chair.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. I know. I have some undiagnosed things. Do you think. Because you and I think we filled this.

[Matt Rogers]

We were speechwriting.

[John Lovett]

I really was. I had such a serious job. Isn't it wild?

[Matt Rogers]

It's so hard for me to connect these dots with you.

[John Lovett]

I. I used to get.

[Kennedy Hill]

That's all she was talking about backstage.

[John Lovett]

I know. Doesn't. It doesn't make. I used to get up. I used to put on a literal suit.

[Matt Rogers]

Literal suit.

[John Lovett]

A real suit from. Usually from Joseph E. Banks. Jose Banks. Because that's what I could do. Because you get a two for one and you got to wear them all the time or they start to. And you got to get multiple. Or they'll smell.

[Matt Rogers]

And you were making a fortune.

[John Lovett]

I was really pulling in bank. But I was just writing speeches, very serious speeches and didn't suit me. I wasn't good at being professional. Especially because I rode my bike into the office and I was so sweaty by the time I got in. That was a big part of my.

[Matt Rogers]

Day, being so sweaty.

[John Lovett]

Sweaty all the time. See, look at how he's just letting us. Letting us. Just collecting data.

[Kennedy Hill]

I want no part of this.

[John Lovett]

That hurts to hear. That hurts to hear. I'm glad you sat far away. It's just us now.

[Matt Rogers]

I mean, it was a body. Have you noticed this whole body language thing?

[John Lovett]

Yeah, no, he's just observing.

[Matt Rogers]

Mark just wants to be over there and just observe.

[John Lovett]

So still, so contained. Do you ever break, like when you're shooting a scene? I bet you don't. I think you just. Other people break around you.

[Kennedy Hill]

I'm later to break, but I mean, sometimes things happen that are irretrievable. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

[John Lovett]

Wow. That was intimidating. You know, What a cool energy. I like him. Do you like him? I like him.

[Kennedy Hill]

I don't believe you.

[John Lovett]

Now I'm on the spot Now I'm. Now I'm.

[Matt Rogers]

Now I like him because he's from Buffalo and they're good people from Buffalo.

[John Lovett]

Wow. So that's just. But he didn't decide to be from Buffalo.

[Matt Rogers]

No. Nobody decides to be from Buffalo.

[Kennedy Hill]

Nobody. Nobody would choose that.

[John Lovett]

All right, let's leave it there, everybody. Check out Wendy in Night Court and check out Mark in A Man on the Inside. When we come back, let's have some Thanksgiving gratitude. Don't go anywhere. This is Love it or leave it. And there's more on the way. Love or Leave it is. Brought to you by Select Quote it feels like most of the news we're subjected to 24. Seven is bad or downright depressing about the future. With so much out of our control, the future can feel overwhelming. Regain control with life insurance from Selectquote whether you need $500,000 or $50 million in coverage must be nice. The licensed insurance agents at Selectquote work for you to tailor a life insurance policy for your individual needs in as little as 15 minutes. I want to be buried in a gigantic pyramid like Tutankhamun, and that's going to require bigger policy. Have you ever worried about getting coverage with a preexisting condition? Select Quote partners with carriers to provide policies for a variety of health conditions. Select Quote they shop, you save. Get the right life insurance for you for [e-mail] lovett go to selectquote.com love it today to get started that selectquote.com lovett this show is sponsored by betterhelp. This month is all about gratitude. And along with thanking family and friends, there's another person we don't get to thank enough ourselves. Thank you. I've been saying that to myself. In between my weekly dose of applause from an audience, I've been looking for more opportunities to thank myself. Maybe a standing O for you. Yeah, from you right there in the mirror. It's sometimes hard to remind ourselves that we are trying our best to make sense of everything. And in this crazy world, that isn't easy. Here's a reminder to send some thanks to the people in your life, including yourself. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. It's now the time of the election season where I realize that the low hum of anxiety of the election is hitting me in other places Same like, I'm starting to realize, like, oh, that's why I'm in such a bad mood. The country's on the precipice of decline. It's like, oh, my tummy hurts. Yeah, yeah. Why all the time. Oh yeah. It's weird that I have all of a sudden. It's also just all of a sudden I realize that like, oh, there's Tums in my car now. You know, I think maybe you turn 40 and then like the Tums appear the times. I take a couple every day just to be proactive, you know, like, I got acid reflux. I got trump reflux. Huh. That's what's happening right now, that feeling in your chest. The point is, you need therapy. And if you're like me and scheduled a podcast recording where your therapy used to be, you realize how much that was a mistake. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist anytime for no additional charge. Let the gratitude flow with better help, visit betterhelp.com love it today to get 10% off your first month, that's betterhelp. H E L p.com love it, love it or leave it is brought to you by Sling TV seems like things change every 20 minutes. It's hard to keep up. That's why you should watch Sling. They provide the best value for essential news channels. With Sling, you get your favorite news channels at the best price. CNN, MSNBC, even Fox News if that's your jam. Anderson Cooper, 360 and Hannity, your two favorite shows. Also the Rachel Mano show and more for just $40 a month. So yeah, with the election coverage and everything else happening, you can get news that'll raise your blood pressure at prices that won't. Get the best price on news about what's going on in the world, then say, that's what's going on in the world. And it's not just news. Check this out. Sling has live sports, news and entertainment channels you love and less of the ones you don't. So you save hundreds of dollars. Sling lets you choose and customize your channel lineup so you can choose the channels you actually like. Slings cloud DVR lets you record your shows to watch in your schedule. There's no complex technology, no long term contracts, and no hidden rigmarole. Sling is great. You can record most of the live TV channels with the dvr you can watch on all of your devices. Even at the same time, you have access to some of your favorite local channels. So it's a great way to make sure you're, you know, getting the channels you need to get and not, you know, the hundreds of channels are crap that you don't need. Get rewarded for watching your favorite news channel. Sling lets you do that. Visit sling.com now to learn more and get started. That sling.com/now. Sling.com now. All right, and we're back. Please welcome to the stage for the first time, it's Matt Rogers. Come on out, Matt. Hi, Matt.

[Matt Rogers]

Hello.

[Wendy Malek]

Is this Kareem? Hi. Sorry I made a mess. Or someone else made a mess.

[John Lovett]

It's good to see you, Matt.

[Wendy Malek]

That was. That was.

[Matt Rogers]

I was gonna say. Aren't you the same guy who was here before?

[John Lovett]

He looks like him. He looks like him. He looks like him. All right. Now, Matt, this is your first time being here, so I just have to ask you, you also have a new show coming out on Netflix called no Good Deed?

[Wendy Malek]

Sure do. Yes.

[John Lovett]

Do you think your doppelganger Brad Turbo would approve?

[Wendy Malek]

You know, I think that. No, I don't think he would. It's like a comedy murder mystery. Like, it's.

[Kennedy Hill]

It's the.

[Wendy Malek]

From the creator of Dead to Me Cold, Liz Feldman.

[John Lovett]

Yes.

[Wendy Malek]

Great. It's got Ray Romano, Lisa Kudrow, Linda Cardellini. It's really, really a great show.

[John Lovett]

That's cool.

[Wendy Malek]

And I think Brad Turbo kind of just likes, like, alt podcasts.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Wendy Malek]

So I don't. I think it might challenge him too much.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, he's watching.

[Wendy Malek]

But it's gonna be great for everyone in the audience and all your families, too.

[John Lovett]

It's funny having a show coming out called no Good Deed right now because I just wanna go. No Good Deed. Yeah.

[Wendy Malek]

The wicked of it all. I've seen it twice.

[John Lovett]

I don't want any spoilers.

[Wendy Malek]

There's a wicked witch. No, it's great. Yes. But it does have the same title as a so from Wicked. And I was singing it around set.

[John Lovett]

Oh, yeah. How nice for everyone. Yeah, that sounded worse than it. As turkeys fly out the shelves and out the window. We're getting into the Thanksgiving spirit here at Love it or Leave it. But instead of sharing what's tickling our giblets, we're going to be sharing something more people should be thankful for. Because as we're gearing up to share a meal with our wasn't technically convicted uncle, we've all got to hold onto the small Good things. With all of our might and all of our buttered fingers. What? Anyway? I don't know.

[Wendy Malek]

I like buttered fingers.

[John Lovett]

Hold on. With our buttered fingers in a segment we're calling Gotta have things.

[Wendy Malek]

Look at us.

[Kennedy Hill]

Things.

[Wendy Malek]

You sh.

[John Lovett]

Look at us. We're a band.

[Matt Rogers]

I got to play the keyboard. I love that.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, look at that. Look at that.

[Wendy Malek]

I'm the front man. I guess you are.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I'm the. I'm the mysterious bassist.

[Wendy Malek]

Yeah, you're a real mystery in that photo.

[Kennedy Hill]

And I'm animal.

[Matt Rogers]

Mark, you look insane.

[Wendy Malek]

Yeah.

[John Lovett]

All right.

[Matt Rogers]

Yeah, you look insane.

[John Lovett]

Let's spin the wheel. It has landed on. Matt. Matt. What is something we should be thankful for?

[Wendy Malek]

You know, I think that people aren't actively excited about this be halftime show that's gonna happen on Christmas Day at, I guess a football game. For me, it's like, I didn't even know football happened on Christmas Day, but now I'm quite aware. I think it's gonna be huge for football.

[John Lovett]

It's gonna be huge for football.

[Matt Rogers]

It's been around for a little bit.

[Wendy Malek]

I know it has. You know, my dad's actually a varsity football coach, which you would really think he'd raise more of a Brad Turbo than me.

[John Lovett]

Well, where are we? Where are we? Long Island.

[Wendy Malek]

Long Island.

[John Lovett]

Where? What school?

[Wendy Malek]

Oh, would you know? Suffolk County, I think he was Lindenhurst. Oh, wow. Okay. See, this is the part where two people from Long island say the names of towns to each other, and then there's all. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Dan Lauria is from Lindenhurst.

[Wendy Malek]

You know, my dad is really good friends with Dan Laurier, and he played.

[Matt Rogers]

Football there for that high school.

[Wendy Malek]

Yes, they played together.

[Matt Rogers]

Oh, that's fabulous.

[Kennedy Hill]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Wendy Malek]

I saw him, actually. Oh, yeah. You know what? I think I knew that because I didn't. I didn't tell you this backstage, but I'm a huge fan of yours. Like, I love Just Shoot Me. It was my favorite show.

[Matt Rogers]

Thank you.

[Wendy Malek]

That was me holding back because I had to be Brad Turbo so I couldn't be, like, gagging over Wendy backstage.

[Matt Rogers]

Now, I understand that was your alter ego because that made me very nervous, that you seemed like such a sweet guy, and then you came out here and you were such a pig.

[Wendy Malek]

It was a lot of volume, and I apologize for that person that was out. I guess we're sort of shattering the illusion. Hud. John. That's me, Matt Rogers playing Brad Turbo. But, yeah, no, we'll catch up about Dan Lauria. That's so funny.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, I. What's funny as you say that I had this strange feeling when I saw that Beyonce was doing the Christmas thing, because it's obviously not the Super Bowl. It's its own thing.

[Wendy Malek]

Correct.

[John Lovett]

And what I thought was there's like. Like there's something about, like, these companies and their voracious need for scale and to have more all the time, with more viewers.

[Wendy Malek]

You're not being very thankful right now.

[John Lovett]

But that what we want is the magic of something scarce, which is an amazing show by Beyonce being something special. And so it's like, how do these companies keep doing more and more spectacle when what draws us to spectacle is the fact that it's special? That was what I thought, but I'm excited about it too.

[Wendy Malek]

Texas hold'em. I think it'll be really fun to see her sing it live. And. Yeah, no, I agree with what you said as well, though. No, but that was what I was gonna say next.

[John Lovett]

Everything you said, but I'm still interested in it. It's just what I thought. I had a strange feeling. I had a feeling of foreboding. Yeah, I guess that's what I felt.

[Wendy Malek]

Foreboding about the future as you really are clutching yourself.

[John Lovett]

I don't.

[Wendy Malek]

You can breathe now, Simon.

[Matt Rogers]

But I wonder, to your point, I wonder if it's too close to the super bowl for it to be as meaningful.

[John Lovett]

That's what I.

[Matt Rogers]

It's like, will that make the Super Bowl? Like, who's gonna play the halftime thing for the Super Bowl? Who's playing the Super Bowl?

[Wendy Malek]

Can I posit what I think do.

[John Lovett]

We know is Kendrick, right?

[Wendy Malek]

Yeah, Kendrick is doing the Super Bowl. But what I think it is is I think Beyonce has a deal with Netflix and she owes them a performance, and I think they're trying to do the live thing. And I think after the fight didn't go so well. You know, the Tyson, Logan, Paul people watching, right? It was. It was like they were having, get this buffering issues. Welcome back to the 90s. Like, it really didn't go well. So now people are a little nervous about the Beyonce thing. And I'm like, you guys, just wait till after when it's streamable. You're gonna have a whole Beyonce show. Like, I don't think we need to get in the weeds about the Beyonce halftime show. Let's just be grateful we're gonna get Cowboy Carter visuals. Finally.

[John Lovett]

I agree with.

[Wendy Malek]

That is out there.

[John Lovett]

No, they agree with you. They agree with you. All right, let's spin it again. I agree with you completely. Oh, thanks as always.

[Kennedy Hill]

That's who I am.

[John Lovett]

Mark, what is something you think we should be grateful for?

[Kennedy Hill]

This will be meandering, but I'm grateful in this time where there's a legitimate existential threat to our country for mental health professionals. And on a personal level, my therapist recently pointed out to me, in my distress since the 5th of November, that I always find solace and happiness in helping others. And my wife and I don't have kids, but we somehow have a lot of daughters. We have lots of nieces and the daughters of friends. And so to help, like, I've in the last couple of weeks, actively reached out to go, like, where are you? What do you need? And that's made me feel better. And so I'm grateful for a trained listener who can remember the times that I think said, I'm happy and it's when I'm helping others. And then briefly, I would just love to plug something that I've been doing for 12 years now, my wife and I, to help others, and that is that we have a 501 nonprofit charity in Detroit, Michigan, where I came up through the second City. We teach improv free of charge in Detroit middle and high schools. And it's the best possible life skill. It's what made my life good and interesting and taught me how to listen to people and respect people and see other people's perspectives within reason. And so please check out the Detroit Creativity Project, dcpimprov.org that's cool.

[John Lovett]

That's so lovely. I like that. Let's spin it again.

[Matt Rogers]

Are you crying?

[John Lovett]

Not right now.

[Wendy Malek]

Just most of the other times.

[Matt Rogers]

Do you have somebody spinning this that can make it, like, make it now?

[Kennedy Hill]

Yeah, this feels fixed because I don't.

[Matt Rogers]

Know who those other people are. Well, they're the team over there.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, yeah, it's the team. It's the team on there. I mean, it doesn't really make sense that there's a wheel because obviously it's just going to land on everybody. Once at some point, there was a. There was historic value to the wheel when we first had the wheel, but it's become a bit baroque over the year, and now it just exists as a way of saying who goes next.

[Kennedy Hill]

Did you change it? Because one time it was like 10 times the same person. They're like. And also. Well, no, it was.

[John Lovett]

So the wheel was always fixed, but not by me. So in the original conception of the wheel, there were topics on the wheel, and then it would land on a random topic and we would have to rant about it. But that was hit or miss because we weren't prepared. And so now it's just. It just lands on a person. It's sort of fun. They're just a wheel because wheels are fun. You're having fun, right?

[Kennedy Hill]

Nobody's denying it's fun.

[John Lovett]

It's landed on Wendy. What's something we should be grateful for, Wendy?

[Matt Rogers]

I would say these days, first and foremost, my ass. Hell yeah. And let me just explain. I live on a ranch in the Santa Monica mountains and we have now three horses, one dog, and a miniature donkey. And his name is Luca. And. And I actually have friends who come over just to make out with this miniature donkey because he is the most adorable thing that you've ever seen in your life. His legs are like this long and his head is huge and he's too fat. But he is. He is the dearest creature. And along with the horses and the dog and my husband and my daughter, but she's off at school. There's something. So it always brings me back to being present and being grateful. Being around animals, that's always been my. That's just my go to place that regrounds me. And every morning I do a little gratitude ritual. And it's always when I'm among them that I just. I just sort of try to reboot and reset myself every day to not squander this opportunity to really honor this day and try to be love in the room.

[John Lovett]

Wow. Did you know that ass is a word for donkey?

[Matt Rogers]

You're very smart. I can tell. You work for Obama.

[John Lovett]

That's cool. Really? How high up does this donkey like, if the donkey was in the room.

[Matt Rogers]

His back's about here.

[John Lovett]

Wow.

[Matt Rogers]

And his head's like there. But if you get low, you know, if you sit like on a salt lick or just scrunch down, he'll come over and put one of his little legs on you and try to climb up into your lap and put his head on your shoulder.

[John Lovett]

Wow.

[Kennedy Hill]

Yes, please.

[Matt Rogers]

But it's weighs about 200 pounds.

[John Lovett]

Do you have a dog? Do you have dogs? Can I ask you a question?

[Matt Rogers]

Yes.

[John Lovett]

Donkey dog, don't you make me choose. And I wouldn't. And I don't want you to choose. So people always say a witch is smarter. But I don't care about that. Here's my question. What are the donkey qualities that a dog doesn't have? What is a dog quality that a donkey doesn't have? Like when a donkey curls up in your arms, people say it's like a dog. But is there an innate. Is there a quality of donkey? Is there a quality. Is there a quality of donkeyness that the dog doesn't have, that somebody says, oh, a dog wouldn't do this. This is only something a donkey would do? And is there something a dog would do that a donkey would never do?

[Wendy Malek]

Do you know, I just want to say you've already given your answer, you know, Do I? To the prompt, and you don't have to say anything else.

[Kennedy Hill]

You have done great during most of that. Wendy, were you back on your ranch? Were you just.

[Matt Rogers]

I'm gonna go to. I'm going to my happy place now.

[John Lovett]

But you know what I'm saying? But you know what I mean?

[Matt Rogers]

I do. And you look like you're about to just. You really look like you could use a donkey in your life. No, there is something unique about Luca.

[John Lovett]

That's the donkey.

[Matt Rogers]

He is. Yeah. He is the most affectionate animal I've ever been around. And I love all my animals, all the creatures that I've lived with over the years, but he has a particular need to be close to you, and, I don't know, there's some soul connection with him that I've never experienced with another animal.

[John Lovett]

Interesting. Interesting.

[Kennedy Hill]

What is your address?

[John Lovett]

All right, let's spin it again. Now we're gonna get you probably. It has landed on me.

[Kennedy Hill]

Oh, my God.

[John Lovett]

Okay.

[Wendy Malek]

That's a good picture of you.

[Matt Rogers]

Your hair looks really good.

[Wendy Malek]

Thanks.

[John Lovett]

It is a good picture of me. Although who is the person? Brendan Skanel was on the show, and he said, ugh, that's a terrible picture of me. I was like, nope, because it's a picture of me, and I'll never let him or this audience forget it. It was brutal. It was brutal. We had to just move past it. It was awful. No, it's fine. Now here's something we should be grateful for. We should be grateful that Jay Leno is unkillable. I don't know. Have anybody been following what's been happening with Jay Leno?

[Matt Rogers]

I was with him recently. We were at an event. I mean, we were at some awards thing, and I heard about what happened with the fire. Is that what you're talking about?

[John Lovett]

No, that's a different incident, because Jay Leno has almost died three times in the past year. A car exploded, and he had burns all over his body.

[Matt Rogers]

And he looks great. His face looks great.

[John Lovett]

He survives that. There was another incident, another accident that where he again, almost died. And then this week, he shows up to do a Benefit. And he is bruised all along his face, all along the side of his body. His. One of his eyes is completely puffed up. I don't think he knows if he's going to be able to see out of it again.

[Kennedy Hill]

He was wearing an eye patch.

[John Lovett]

He was wearing an eye patch because Jay Leno was staying at. This is his story. You believe it. He said he was staying at a Hampton Inn. And it's like, okay, man.

[Matt Rogers]

What?

[John Lovett]

Harrison Ford's like, what? All right, you can get the fresh salmon. You don't have to stay at the Hampton Inn. But Jay Leno is staying at a Hampton Inn. He's trying to go walk to a restaurant that's across the street instead of walking the way. Because these things are built for cars and we live in a broken world. But he like, looks and he's like, oh, that hill doesn't look so steep. He rolls down a 60 foot hill into a ditch, bouncing along rocks on the way, bruised from the top of his head to the bottom of his body. He looks. He looks like he owed some bad people money. Yeah, he looks beat to ever loving shit. And he walks out to do an interview because I guess he felt like he needed to tell somebody about this. So he's interviewed by like Inside Edition on the street, wherever he's doing this benefit and he's like, yeah, I'm really fucked up. Then he takes. I mean, he, the man.

[Wendy Malek]

The man is a survivor.

[John Lovett]

A survivor.

[Wendy Malek]

He's a survivor. And we send our best.

[John Lovett]

We send our best. And we send our best. And we really send our best.

[Wendy Malek]

I think I speak for everyone when I say we send our best.

[John Lovett]

But I began this by saying we should be grateful that he lives through all of this.

[Kennedy Hill]

Yeah, but like, you can cancel a date, like, right? Tonight's not gonna work.

[John Lovett]

Well, that's, that's the other thing too, because he's like, he's like. And I didn't miss my date. Okay, then I guess your set was about how you looked like you just got hit by a bus. Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

How did that.

[John Lovett]

He like, he looks fucked up.

[Wendy Malek]

Yeah.

[Kennedy Hill]

Oh, it's not even bruising it. It looks like a tattoo sleeve.

[John Lovett]

Yeah.

[Kennedy Hill]

Like, it's a solid purple.

[Wendy Malek]

And he thinks it may be permanent damage on the.

[John Lovett]

I'm not sure. It was a. It was just a street interview.

[Wendy Malek]

Well, from the Inside Edition interview that.

[John Lovett]

You watched, I think it does look. He. He was sort of being like, you don't know. But the end turns out gravity. But yeah, he didn't cancel the gig.

[Kennedy Hill]

He played a gig that night, I think.

[John Lovett]

Yes.

[Kennedy Hill]

Yeah.

[Matt Rogers]

Well, the show must go on.

[John Lovett]

And the show must go on.

[Kennedy Hill]

Oh, no.

[John Lovett]

And on that note, when we come back, it's time for a joyride. All right, we're back. It's almost over. Wendy Malik, I said Santa. Santa Monica Mountains. I'm like, oh, my God. You came all the way to the Koreatown from the Santa Monica Mountain hills.

[Matt Rogers]

Tell me where this was.

[John Lovett]

Yeah, all right, you know what? That's. That's on your people. Yeah. Where's your. We'll talk. Who's your publicist? No, we'll talk about it after. But. All right, let's bring up the lights. We just need one person again. It's time for a draw ride. One tiny thing that was a fun, joyful distraction for you this week. Something small. What do you got?

[Wendy Malek]

I got two, and they're real fast.

[John Lovett]

One they're gonna hate. One of our best friends in the.

[Wendy Malek]

World surprised one of our other best friends for her birthday today, and she got surprised at this show.

[John Lovett]

Oh, very excited. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, very happy.

[Wendy Malek]

Second, I have two chiweenies, Bumper and Tiny. I go and walk them on my lunch from work and I go home.

[John Lovett]

I open the door and their little.

[Wendy Malek]

Tippy, tippy tappy feet run out of.

[John Lovett]

The bedroom and they're wearing little sweaters and they're so happy to see me. And it's really nice. What are they? What are they called?

[Wendy Malek]

They're Chiweenies. And their names are Bumper and Tiny Chiweenies.

[Matt Rogers]

Is that a Chihuahua? And a dachshund.

[John Lovett]

A dachshund, A dachshunder, Chihuahua. They're called chihuinis, obviously. Oh, well, I'm glad two things that God doesn't want to exist bring you such joy.

[Matt Rogers]

All right, John.

[John Lovett]

What?

[Kennedy Hill]

No, he's right.

[John Lovett]

Chiweenies, they can't do stairs. They'll get fucked up on stairs, I bet.

[Kennedy Hill]

So brave should they have to be.

[John Lovett]

And that's our show. Thank you to Matt Rogers, Wendy Malek, Mark Evan Jackson. There are 710 days until the 2026 midterms. Have a great night and have a great weekend. Thanks, everybody. Love it or leave it is a crooked media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer. Chris Lord is our producer and Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Halle Kiefer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman. Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles and Mohana Del Shiki are our writers. Evan Sutton is Our editor, Kyle Segment and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer and Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by sure Shore. Thanks to our designer Bernardo Serna for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our Digital producers David To Towles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroat for filming and editing video each week. So you can did you know that skin care can start in the laundry room? Allfreeclear is the number one laundry detergent brand recommended by dermatologists, allergists and pediatricians for sensitive skin. Allfreeclear is 100% free of dyes and perfumes. It provides an effective clean that's gentle on skin while removing impurities like dirt and body oil without leaving irritating residues. Plus, all free clear liquid is safer choice certified by the US EPA for a clean you can feel good about. All you need is all free clear CIDP is no walk in the park. It can make your daily routine feel not so routine. The good news? Now there's a new treatment option for chronic inflammatory demyelinating polyneuropathy that may fit in into your routine. Discover more at innovationforcidp. Com and talk to your doctor. That's innovationforcidp. Com brought to you by Argenics.