
Chris Van Hollen flies to El Salvador, Gayle King flies to the edge of the space, and Harvard flies off the handle. This week, we have Bradley Whitford on the end of Handmaid's Tale and the TV business, Bob the Drag Queen on Harriet Tubman's music career, and Jessica Kirson on life, love, and lesbian pants. Then we end on a few audience questions about executive orders, Republican drag names and more.
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John Lovett
Love it or leave it is brought to you by Planned Parenthood Federation of America. Planned Parenthood is the most trusted name in sexual and reproductive health and the largest sex educator in the country. Planned Parenthood believes everyone deserves medically accurate, unbiased care so people can make their own informed health decisions. And on top of that, everyday Planned Parenthood organizations are fighting for common sense policies that keep personal health care decisions between patients and their doctors, not unqualified lawmakers. Nearly 80% of Americans want that. The attacks on Planned Parenthood, our health care, our basic rights, they just don't stop. But you know what else doesn't stop Planned Parenthood? The amazing. Staff and volunteers at nonprofit Planned Parenthood health centers across the country do whatever they can to provide high quality, affordable care to 2 million annual patients. No matter what nonsense some people in power try to pull, you can help donate to support Planned parenthood@planned parenthood.org defend that's planned parenthood.org defend what's up, Los Angeles? Welcome to Love Live from Dynasty Typewriter. We have got a great show for you tonight. Bradley Wickford is here, and we'll test his news knowledge. Bob the drag Queen is here. Jessica Kirson is here. And we'll see together what goats Fox News can scape. And then we'll open up the floor to you, our dear audience. But first, let's get into it. What a week. Despite the Supreme Court's ruling that the US Must facilitate the return of wrongfully deported immigrant Kilmar Abrego Garcia, the Trump administration has no intention of doing so. Hey, shout out to elder millennials out there. A constitutional crisis and a midlife crisis at the same time. You deserve that motorcycle and or Le Crescent Dutch oven. Yeah, I have to tell you something. I got the Dutch oven and it's great. 40s Dutch oven. Makes me so happy. I used to do drugs. I still do drugs, but they don't hit like the Dutch oven. I'm telling you, watching the charred remnants of a brisket just glide off the side, revealing. Revealing the perfect white of that Le Creuset Fucking ceramic so it looked like it was burned to a fucking crisp. Wipes right off. I don't need Molly anymore. No. Two weeks of being sad after I make a brisket. The Justice Department argued that seeking his return would violate separation of powers by forcing the executive branch's hand in foreign policy. But ignoring a Supreme Court order. Amazing. For the separation of powers. While meeting with Trump in the White House, Salvadoran President Naya Bukele also dismissed the idea of Abrego Garcia's return. The question is preposterous. How can I smuggle a terrorist into the United States? This is obviously ridiculous. He doesn't need to smuggle anyone anywhere. Just open the doors, let the man walk out. He can buy a ticket. Now Trump is claiming he's powerless to get someone back from El Salvador. Bukele is claiming he's powerless to send someone back to the United States. We now go live to a shot of Franz Kafka's grave, where visitors have recently heard strange emanations from beneath the tombstone. Oh brother. Stupid. But here's the twist. Democrats decided to do something. I know. A group of Democrats led by Maryland Senator Chris Van Hollen said they would go to El Salvador to seek Abrego Garcia's release. More like Chris Van Hollen, ass. Great job, Chris. The Department of Homeland Security tweeted out a protective order that Abrego Garcia's wife once sought against him for domestic violence, writing, this Ms. 13 gang member is not a sympathetic figure. They still have provided no evidence that Abrego Garcia was an MS.13. Also, we're not fighting for this person because he's a sympathetic figure. Nobody deserves a life sentence without due process. Except for people who don't inch into the intersection when making a left. Two of us, two of us get to go to the Gulag with you. Also, when the third car goes long after the light has turned red to the Gulag with you. Not one car, not three cars, two cars, two cars get to go. On Thursday, Senator Van Hollen was denied entry to Secot, the mega prison, even though Republican Congressman Jason Smith of Missouri and Riley Moore of West Virginia were allowed to tour the facility just this Monday. Here's Congressman Riley Moore posing in front of a cell filled with intellig inmates. And now let's do a silly one. In other attacks on basic freedoms last Friday Last Friday, the Trump administration issued a set of demands to Harvard University requiring the school to report foreign students to federal authorities for conduct violations, to end all DEI initiatives, to exert greater control over student groups, to hire more conservative faculty to accept John Lovett in 1999. But on Monday, Harvard became the first university to outright reject the Trump administration's demands, calling them illegal. Never would have thought Harvard had it in them. Based purely on the people I know who went to Harvard, said Harvard President Alan Garber in a statement. No government, regardless of which party is in power, should dictate what private universities can teach, whom they can admit and hire, and which areas of study and inquir they can pursue. Way to go, Harvard, he said while jamming a pencil into his thigh. In their response, the Trump administration accused Harvard of anti Semitism, demanding meaningful change in exchange for taxpayer funding. I would never presume to speak for all Jewish people, but on behalf of the cool Jews, bool. The White House then froze over $2.2 billion in federal funding to the university and threatened Harvard's tax exempt status. Just pure thuggery, or as they call it at Harvard, Cornell behavior. This is good news. As difficult and costly as it might be to stand up to Trump, we already know by now what happens when you give in to his demands. Best case scenario, you slowly turn into this. For those of you at home, that was a hilarious photo of Rudy Giuliani's drooling hair dye, which you can see in the video version of this podcast available on YouTube at Love it or leave it podcast. Yeah, sure. Caving doesn't protect you from further abuse by Trump. Last month, Columbia bent the knee after Trump threatened to yank $400 million in federal funding. That classic New York City spirit. Hey, I'm walking here. With your generous permission, Mr. President. The university's trustees met with federal officials and agreed to demands including banning masks, cracking down on campus protests, and reviewing the curriculum and admissions for its center for Middle Eastern Studies. They let the federal government dictate how the school runs a specific academic department, when that is the job for a very smart and deeply annoying person who liked college so much they never left. In response to Columbia's weaselly behavior, Trump didn't say, thanks for rolling over, guys. According to the Wall Street Journal, Trump is currently pursuing a consent decree, an agreement that would have the Trump administration and Colombia locked in a legal battle over the terms of their agreement, potentially for years. Oh, you thought giving the bully your lunch money would make them leave you alone? No, bitch. He blew it all at McDonald's and on shoe lifts. He will see you tomorrow. And this time, he wants hash browns. So Colombia has torched his reputation for nothing. And that's an important lesson for all of us, because Trump's attack on academic freedom is part of a broader, coordinated assault on the right to dissent, to inform the public, and to challenge the government in court. Trump signed executive orders targeting two former administration officials for the crime of being critical of Trump and refusing to endorse election lies. A cool detail in your hinge profile, but a waking nightmare in your actual life. ICE is grabbing students off the street for co signing op eds as we saw in the case of Rumeza Ozterk. On the legal front, nine law firms agreed to a deal which would provide almost $1 billion in pro bono legal services. Those firms believed the pro bono work was for uncontroversial causes they already supported, like protecting veterans and making sure every American gets three servings of Forever Chemicals a day. But those firms are in for a rude awakening. According to the New York Times, Trump believes these services might include working for Doge, aiding the Justice Department, or representing Trump officials themselves if they're investigated. Trump's spokesperson also referred to the agreements as binding. So it turns out this Faustian bargain had some drawbacks. It didn't work out perfectly. It's a shame that this is the first time anyone has had to imagine what happens if you sell your soul to get out of a jam. We now go live to the grave of Elizabethan playwright Christopher Marlowe. Good grief. Guess these lawyers Ms. Dr. Faustus. Damn Yankees, The Devil's Advocate, Bedazzled. Or an excellent episode of the Twilight Zone with Burgess Meredith called Printer's Devil, which is one of several Twilight Zone episodes with a Faustian bargain. It's a great episode with Burgess Meredith. He's got that Penguin vibe, but he plays it down. He plays it down. One law firm that surrendered, Wilkie Farn Gallagher, recently hired a new lawyer, Doug Emhoff, husband of Kamala Harris, who said he opposed the firm's decision but was overruled. Small comfort, Doug, when you're providing free legal services to the QAnon Shaman after he throws pig's blood on the hood of Jamie Raskin's Chevy Volt. Real quick. What if we all woke up and Kamala was president and the biggest news of the day was that she was in hot water for bringing her Glock to the Easter egg roll? Wouldn't that be nice? Let's all wake up. Look up right now. Look up never works. But four firms specifically targeted by executive orders have all fought in court, and they're winning. Judges are halting these brazenly unconstitutional orders by the president. It's fun that the lawyers Trump can't get are, by definition, the ones who are good at winning in court. It's like trying to steal a champion racehorse by chasing after one in flip flops. Just this Tuesday, a judge blocked the executive order against the firm Sussman Godfrey, which successfully went after Fox News for lying about the election, saying the order was driven by the president's personal vendetta. Said the judge, the framers of her constitution would see this as a shocking abuse of power. We now go live to the grave of Benjamin Franklin.
Bradley Whitford
I wish I was in France having.
John Lovett
Sex with an old duchess. I mean, I mean, geez Louise. As that was the third one. That concludes the grave thing that we did this week. Would you believe all of those three different historical figures were played by the same Halli Kiefer? Yeah. The same lesson on what happens when you capitulate applies to the attacks on the Free Press. CBS's parent company Paramount Global is reportedly in talks to settle with Trump after he launched a completely frivolous $20 billion lawsuit against 60 Minutes for their pre election interview of Kamala Harris. This follows Disney's embarrassing $16 million settlement with Trump in a case against ABC News that the famously tough lawyers at Disney could have fought and won. But being willing to settle hasn't saved Paramount from Trump's rage. On Sunday, Trump said that the FCC chairman, Brendan Carr should target 60 minutes for their unlaw illegal behavior and strip them of their broadcast license. And in case you haven't seen him yet, here's FCC chair Brendan Carr wearing his hideous golden brooch of Donald Trump's fucking face, which he received during Trump's annual Diva Boots the House down crony convention. I've never seen a more clearly cursed object. A generation from now, scientists will be burying this brooch in a lead coffin and sealing it with concrete like a body from Chernobyl. We talked about this on Pod Save America. Here's a headline about me shitting on said brooch earlier this week. Obama Podbro rips magascophant for wearing Trump drag. It's a little more complicated than obviously because Trump walks around every day wearing Trump Dragon. I have to ask Bob about this. There are layers to drag here, something a Columbia student could write a thesis about if they hadn't just agreed to turn their gender studies department into a conversion therapy center. Slash gun range. By the way, I'm 42 years old. My co hosts are in their 40s. I spend the run up to Passover in a state of indecision as to which Italian dessert plate to buy. If I decide to wear a black T shirt, I change out of navy underwear. I have very specific opinions about the sense of hand soap. In the last three months, I've seen Wicked Sunset Boulevard and oh Mary on Broadway. I know a recipe for a delicious almond lemon cake by heart. I am not a bro. How many cocks does a guy have to suck to stop being called a bro? All right, very good. Very good. On Monday, MIT joined Princeton, Brown, Caltech, and the University of Illinois, among others, in suing the Department of Energy for slashing research funding. There is a chance that Brown University got swept up on all this by accident. When Trump was asking which foreign students to target, he said the Brown ones. So probably just a misunderstanding, that's all, the president of Princeton said in a statement. Harvard's objections to the letter it received are rooted in the American tradition of liberty, a tradition essential to our country's universities. Good point, Princeton, he said as the bile slowly rose in his throat. Indiana University started a push for the big tent to form a mutual defense pact for when they inevitably start being targeted. You know things are bad when we're doing NATO, but for Midwestern colleges, what if this ends with Sparty the Spartan and Biff the Wolverine kissing? Kiss. Kiss.
Jessica Kirson
Kiss.
John Lovett
Kiss. Kiss. I'm not a bro. I had to Google the mascots. Point is, fighting is the only way. If you give a mouse a cookie, he's gonna freeze your federal funding and threaten your broadcast license. There's only one thing to do, and it's to tell that mouse to go fuck itself. I It brings me no pleasure to say that we are in common cause with the ultra wealthy, feckless lawyers of corporate law firms and trustees of elite colleges and the boardrooms of multinational media companies. But we are, whether they know it or. Or admit it. And that's clarifying. That could even be inspiring if we let it. We are all in this together now, whether we like it or not. And for those who don't yet accept that, we have to prove how powerful we are, too. Columbia was more afraid of Trump than their students, faculty, and alumni. These law firms were more afraid of Trump than of their staff and clients. Disney was more afraid of Trump than of their reporters and producers and their audience. That has to change, and it has to change quickly, because all of us together are far more powerful than Trump will ever be. If Trump picks off his enemies one by one, he wins. If he can't, he loses. It's that simple. And if I can speak positively of Harvard University, a blight on this nation, a school that rejected me twice, anything is possible. All right, sure. On Monday, Vice President J.D. vance tried to lift up the college football playoffs national championship trophy during an event at the White House, but did not succeed. Succeed. So good. Here's what makes this work comedically. He's so incredibly careful. He really takes his time trying to get a good grip. He does his absolute best, and it all falls apart anyway. A trained French Clown couldn't have done this funnier. I love that. As hard as he tries to fight it, J.D. vance can't stop his essence from coming out. Like, this is his essence. Remember when he went to that donut store and he was like, I would like donut, please. And he just fucking sucked the life out of the room. Like, the man is the Vice President of the United States, but his. His essence is unchanged. And I think that's beautiful. And I think whatever it is, whatever that. That space between how he imagines himself or how he wants to be perceived and what's actually inside of him, that space is what makes his movements so strange. He's not in touch with his fucking body. It's awesome. It's awesome. Speaking of clowns, a Fox News host on Wednesday related this charming anecdote about Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth. Okay, Pete Hex, Seth would have a.
Bob the Drag Queen
Bagel with cream cheese. He would drop it.
John Lovett
It would land upside down, the cream.
Bob the Drag Queen
Cheese on the floor, and he would pick it up. I'm like, wait, is there any hair on there?
John Lovett
Oh, no, it was so gross. And he would just pop it in his mouth. There's also a rumor that Pete did not wash his hands. He said that one time on air. It seems Pete Hegseth is the victim of a shmear. I really don't like equating eating off the floor with not washing your hands after the bathroom. Those are very different. That's not to say there isn't a clear rule that Hegseth is breaking about dropping food on the floor. If it's dry, let it fly. If it's wet, you will regret. I eat food off the floor. You want to judge me? You fucking. Fucking judges got your robes and gavels ready to judge me. I'll eat food off the floor. I ate fucking beef jerky off the floor today. I was opening one of those beef chomps. You know, it's basically pellets for people that work in an office. You know what I'm talking about? Chomps. They're everywhere. I was opening it, and I don't like touching the chomps. Cause they're very beefy. And it's just. You're just gonna. They're beefy. And so I was trying to open it carefully, flies out onto the floor. I was in a conversation with Kennedy at the time. Pick it off the ground. I eat it. I'm fucking fine. High traffic area, lot of dogs. I don't care. Because it's dry, it's fine. If it's Wet. No, that's absorbing. That's pulling it up. That's done. That's fucking done. You're throwing. You drop a fucking cookie on the floor. Dry cookie, dry floor. You're throwing it in the garbage. Really? Wow. To live with that kind of fucking privilege. Being grossed out is a form of privilege. Any think about something that grosses you out. That's somebody's job. There's not a thing that grosses you out in this world that is not. There is not somebody who is paid every day to put their hand in that thing. I'm a little bit of a bro. Speaking of dangerous hobbies, Blue Origin's first all female flight with Gayle King and Katy Perry aboard, lifted off on Monday and returned safely from the technical edge of space about 10 minutes later. It's a woman's world and we're lucky to be rimming on it. I don't know. There's a fair amount of backlash, and not just from anonymous Internet trolls, but even from celebrities like Olivia Munn who said, what's the point? Is it historic that you guys are going on a ride? Space exploration was to further our knowledge and to help mankind. What are they going to do up there that has made it better for us down here? Really well said. Here's Emily Ratajkowski. That space mission this morning, that's in time. Shit like this is beyond parody. Saying that you care about Mother Earth and it's about Mother Earth and you're going up in a spaceship that is built and paid for by a company that's single handedly destroying the planet. Look at the state of the world and think about how many resources went into putting these women into space for what? For what? What was the marketing there? And then to try to make it like, I'm disgusted.
Bradley Whitford
Literally, I'm disgusted.
John Lovett
A day later, King responded to the backlash.
Bob the Drag Queen
Every time one of those goes up, you get some information that can be used for something else. So I wish people would do more due diligence.
John Lovett
And then my question is, have you.
Bob the Drag Queen
All been to space?
John Lovett
Have you been in space, go to.
Bob the Drag Queen
Space, or go to Blue Origin and see what they do and how they do and then come back and say, this is a terrible thing.
John Lovett
I'd love to go. But the first question on the Blue Origin application is, are you Gayle King? And the second question is, are you willing to have sex with Jeff Bezos? And I am, but that's not the point. I want to go to space. It's 11 minutes and then you get to go to Space. In other news, Florida woman Kimberly Schlopper. Nope. Has been arrested for buying and selling human bones on Facebook Marketplace. Her defense, she didn't know, was illegal. Now for a game we call can you spell Kimberly? I have $100 right here, sir. Can you spell Kimberly?
Jessica Kirson
Yeah.
John Lovett
Let's hear it.
Jessica Kirson
My dyslex.
John Lovett
K, I s wrong. Thank you for playing can you spell Kimberly? Spelled K, Y, M, B, E, R, L, E, E. Florida. Florida, baby. Residents of a small Michigan town on Sunday lined up in a human change to help a bookshop move its inventory to a new storefront a block away. One book at a time, said one guy trying to get to work. Where the fuck is this shit? Personally, I don't think there was any good reason for them to arrange a human centipede style. But the books have a new home and that's all that matters. Look, this is just a sweet story about a small town coming together. So there's no need to crunch the numbers and get all analytical about it. According to the report, the book Brigade was about 300 people. And moving 9,100 books took just under two hours. So that's 120 minutes, which makes it 36,000 people minutes to move 9,100 books. Which means that it was about four minutes of effort per person per book. The walk from the old location at 108 East Middle street to its new location on 119 South Main street is about 400ft, as I've mapped out here. So the round trip is 800ft. 800ft in four minutes comes out to a little over 2 miles per hour. A very chill pace to walk one book at a time. But if you were to do around 30 books, as each person would have to do, you're walking four and a half miles, you're getting your steps in, all right? And that would be nice because it would be people and not books going for a little bit of a walk, which we need. But if each person took two books, which seems like a pretty reasonable baseline, each volunteer would end up walking about two miles and the whole transfer would have been done in under an hour. This just in. I'm a virgin again. Damn it. My virginity has returned. And finally, two Belgian teens were arrested for smuggling 5,000 ants out of Kenya. My God, please think of the uncles. Nah, it was bugs. It was bugs. As of this recording, the Belgians have been charged with second degree ants in the pants. That's it. All right, next up, Bradley Whitford's here. Hey, don't go Anywhere there's more of.
Jessica Kirson
Love it or Leave it coming up.
John Lovett
Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Armor Colostrum. We're always talking guts on this show, so why not give your gut its best foot forward with Armor Colostrum? Probiotics and other supplements are touted as a gut health solution, but most products on the market are dead before they even reach your gut. Armor Colostrum naturally fortifies your entire gut wall system and optimizes your whole body microbiome, which helps guard against irritants that can trigger digestive issues and compromise your immune system. Research has shown that Colostrum helps to enhance nutrient absorption. Armor Colostrum can help stabilize blood sugar levels, modulate hormones, and ignite your metabolism. Colostrum bioactives have been shown to reactivate hair follicle stem cells and activate collagen production, promoting hair growth and enhancing skin radiance. You hear that? Radiance. Plus, we've worked out a special offer for our audience. Receive 15% off your first order. Go to triamro.com/love it or enter love it to get 15 off your first order. That's T R Y A R M R A dot com. Love it code love it. And we're back. You know him, you love him. Star of stage and screen. It's the one, the only, Bradley Whitford. Hi. Thank you for being here.
Bradley Whitford
My pleasure. My pleasure. I'm a big fan, I gotta say. I haven't heard anything. Cause the green room is hot. It's really fun in there.
John Lovett
Oh, yeah. It's good times. Good group. Good group. Yeah.
Bradley Whitford
How's it going out here?
John Lovett
It's pretty good. They're a good crowd. It's a good crowd tonight. It's good. I needed it. I needed their support. Hey, you're in the sixth and final season of Handmaid's Tale. Yes.
Bradley Whitford
What are you cheering for?
John Lovett
Right. It's a little bit fascism now. It premiered in 2017. Is it weird to work on a show that's gotten. It got briefly less and then more prescient? Is it strange that the prescience curve has changed?
Bradley Whitford
There was a radical prescience curve? Yeah. It's very weird. I mean, are we supposed to be funny or.
John Lovett
You can be funny.
Bradley Whitford
Okay.
John Lovett
But you don't have to be.
Bradley Whitford
No, no, no, no, no.
John Lovett
This show creates space for humor, but also deep meaning and purpose.
Bradley Whitford
Deep meaning and purpose. You know, it's a very weird time for this. At the same time, a moment to think about the importance of storytelling and the limits of storytelling. You know, when the show started, it was. They were shooting the pilot before Trump won that election in 2016. And the idea of women's health care, of Roe v. Wade being overturned was absolutely unthinkable. And in the course of doing this show last year, this is an amazing statistic. 64,000 pregnant rape victims in the United States, according to the Journal of the American Medical association, do not have access to abortion care in this country. So it's literally a Handmaid's episode. This is not the funny part of the stuff.
John Lovett
Thank you.
Bradley Whitford
Very rare.
John Lovett
Thanks for signposting that for us.
Bradley Whitford
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wasn't expecting a laugh. I feel like I should jump to a perhaps funny anecdote from the Handmaid's Tale.
John Lovett
Sure.
Bradley Whitford
Okay.
John Lovett
You don't have to.
Bradley Whitford
You should announce Segways always.
John Lovett
I love that. I think it's fine.
Bradley Whitford
It was a wonderful creative experience. And we shot in Canada, and it's a very difficult material with a very sweet, genetically stereotypically super sweet Canadian crew. And there was a moment where the very sweet assistant director came up and said, okay, I don't want to rush you, but I think we should get the nooses on the girls. So there's moments like that, you know, oh, we gotta cut the peg, fell out of her mouth. You know, shit like that.
John Lovett
Jesus. There's something that the. You know, the show, to me, I was thinking about this, so I read the novel before the show when people say, oh, the. And it almost has become a cliche, like, oh, we're living in the Handmaid's Tale, right? They're speaking of a specific kind of, I think, Christian nationalism, and it's dangerous. And I. I understand that. But the passage that has stuck with me the longest since I read it years ago is it's a passage about the danger of humanizing terrible people that in a lot of our culture that you're supposed to get to know people, learn about them, what really drives them, who's the real person. Right. When it's their behaviors and their actions that all that matter. And there's this beautiful passage about what it would have been like to be married to a monster and your way of rationalizing, being supportive of a monster and, oh, the way that that monster is kind to the dog and has a nickname for the dog. And the sweet moments. And the show generally has done a brilliant job of exploring that danger. And I just wonder how you thought about that when your job is to inhabit a terrible, deeply flawed and broken person who seems to be a little bit more self aware about their evil than a lot of others.
Bradley Whitford
I always thought of this guy as kind of a McNamara fog of war guy who's big brain obliterated his humanity and maybe his humanity is fighting, trying to get out. I mean, I'm always thinking of sort of parallels with what is. I don't know if you're aware of the political situation now, but try to.
John Lovett
Keep up with that. Try to tune in, tune in, tune out.
Bradley Whitford
But we are up against. You don't need my insight on this. But we're up against fascism. And you know, when I hear the sort of post mortem about, you know, we can't be so woke, you know, that, that lost the election for us, you know, we're dealing with fascists here. It would be like, you know, saying it's a messaging problem to the Jewish resistance. You know, let's lay off the anti Semitism because there's a lot of economic anxiety out there in the Alps that we need to understand.
John Lovett
And Dolemites.
Bradley Whitford
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so when I hear James Carville, you know, going, we gotta stop talking about, you know, you know, this queer shit, you know, it's like, it's like.
John Lovett
He'S in the room with us. Wow, that's professional training.
Bradley Whitford
Yes, it's a lot of training.
John Lovett
I smell etoufe. That's crazy.
Bradley Whitford
Yes. That's what you gotta understand. But I think, I think about that moment now. What's interesting in the show, and I don't, you know, there is hope in the show. Don't let the bastards grind you down. The key furnace in the show, which I think is something really important to remember now, that is the center of June's character, is that despair is a luxury our children cannot afford. And action's the antidote to despair under the most extraordinary conditions. But thank you. So, thanks, Amy.
John Lovett
This is your wife, you said?
Bradley Whitford
Yeah, I recognize the laugh. Thanks, baby.
John Lovett
It's nice to have someone in your corner. Yeah, it is if you can make one person in an audience laugh.
Bradley Whitford
Yeah.
John Lovett
Like Lady Gaga once said. So we were, we were. It's interesting that you are part of, I think, one of the most hopeful and optimistic shows ever made. Handmaid's Tale and then. No, the West Wing, obviously. And I went and looked this up and west wing premiered in 1999. So did the Sopranos. And it felt like there were these two directions in front of us for television. One was this is a show where everybody's a hero. And then this is a Show where everybody's a piece of shit. We chose to go in that direction. And I wonder, like, what it. There's a real nostalgia, I think, for West Wing right now and some of the more kind of less cynical television of that era. And I wonder, have you thought about that? Do you feel that when you're. Whether it's in the Handmaid's Tale or in whatever else you've been doing.
Bradley Whitford
Yeah, I mean, I think about that. I remember Tommy Schlamme. That's his name. You can. You can giggle.
John Lovett
One of the great TV directors.
Bradley Whitford
One of the great TV directors whose name is Tommy Schlami.
John Lovett
Tommy Schlammy. He could go by Thomas Schlami. Right. But he doesn't. Why would you.
Bradley Whitford
Why would you. And I remember. Because the Sopranos was on at the same time, by the way, we. I love the Sopranos. I remember we would always be accused of being this sentimental, hopeful, unrealistically hopeful show. And that is certainly true in some ways. But I remember thinking the bigger fantasy is like a mob guy in therapy, you know, not that there are six people around the president who believe in him.
John Lovett
Right, right. Like, what's. Yeah. What's a funny.
Jessica Kirson
Yeah.
John Lovett
What's a less real world to live in?
Bradley Whitford
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
John Lovett
Everybody's fighting to do the right thing.
Bradley Whitford
But I remember because what they were doing on the Sopranos, I remember Tommy saying, I can't believe what they're doing. He is going. Our hero is going completely dark. And things like Breaking Bad, it became a whole genre. I do think that that switches at certain times, you know, I guess shows like Ted Lasso or, you know, unapologetically.
John Lovett
You're right, it is hopeful.
Bradley Whitford
And I think.
John Lovett
And it took off.
Bradley Whitford
Yeah, yeah. But how's the world?
John Lovett
Pretty. Speaking of the world.
Bradley Whitford
Yes.
John Lovett
I don't know if you can tell.
Bradley Whitford
What?
John Lovett
I don't know if you can tell from my small frame and under eye bags. But the news is unrelenting, which is why we want you to help our listeners keep track of all the important and devastating and fun news of the week that didn't make the monologue and hilarious recurring segment we call News it or lose it. Oh, there we go. First question.
Bradley Whitford
Yes.
John Lovett
This week, the Wall Street Journal published an article about Elon Musk's 14 known children with four different women and his desire to sire a legion of babies. According to Ashley St. Cle, mother of must's most recent child, Romulus, the head of Doge told her to reach Legion level before we'll need to use surrogates. Is it before A, we leave for Mars? B, before global population collapse? C, before the apocalypse, we've broken Bradley Whitford? No. C, it's the apocalypse. To reach Legion level, before the apocalypse, we will need to use surrogates. Woof. Next question, next question. Nearly every member of a so called elite squad of nerds from this federal department collectively resigned this month after being steamrolled by Doge. An elite squad of nerds from which federal department? Oh, there's no hints. There's no categories.
Bradley Whitford
There's no hints. Was it irs?
John Lovett
No, it was the Pentagon, but it could have been the irs. Almost the entire snap of the Pentagon's defense digital service outfit decided to bounce en masse after Elon's boys bulldozed their office. One Pentagon official told Politico that Doge's incursion has been catastrophic. They're not really using AI, they're not really driving efficiency. What they're doing is smashing everything. The best way to put it is, I think we either die quickly or we die slowly.
Bradley Whitford
Jesus fucking.
John Lovett
Are you using AI at all? Like ChatGPT? Yeah. Oh man, it's scary. It's getting very smart.
Bradley Whitford
You know what? I was shooting a thing in Budapest, speaking of warnings, and I made a joke because I'm playing a minor character in this thing when James Garfield gets shot. And I said, I think this would be a funny time for James Blaine, the character, less interesting character that I play, to give a big speech. And our writer, Mike Makowski walked up to me a minute later and showed me like a 10 minute speech that James Blaine could have given at James Garfield's memorial. So it worries me for the writers.
John Lovett
I worry about that too. I also worry that you're shooting it in Budapest.
Bradley Whitford
Yeah.
John Lovett
Have you found, like, there's this less and less of shooting in Los Angeles? Yeah, it's a huge fucking problem.
Bradley Whitford
It's a huge problem. I had always thought that the reason there was less and less shooting here was maybe a political problem. That in a state wrestling with the need for more funding for fundamental things like education that, you know, giving, you know, Spielberg an incentive to shoot, it didn't play well. But I do not understand because it seems like filmmaking is a real economic engine in.
John Lovett
Damn right.
Bradley Whitford
All over the world. So I don't know, is Gavin gonna fix that?
John Lovett
He's got it right now, it feels.
Bradley Whitford
Like, by the way, fuck you, Gavin Newsom.
John Lovett
For the, for the podcast.
Bradley Whitford
No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for the podcast. But the trans sports bullshit, fuck you, man.
John Lovett
I don't think I. On the. Yeah, I'm frustrated. On the. It just doesn't feel like there's an emergency. California, Los Angeles, the film industry. We were the epicenter of the world's culture. It was incredibly important for our economy. It was incredibly important for our culture. It's what made this city like a world capital. And it's all leaving very quickly. And they're debating increasing a tax credit. But it used to be the idea was there was a lot of stuff filming here, and you could apply for the tax credit, and if you got it, it would help. But now if you don't get the tax credit, you do not film here.
Bradley Whitford
Right.
John Lovett
So then what's the real tax rate for. Because nothing is filming here. Why are we just increasing a tax credit? Shouldn't there be a bigger policy? Simpler, easier, faster, so that more shit. Like, it is an emergency. They are not treating it like an emergency.
Bradley Whitford
Oh, it's really bothering me, you know, as it's been devastating to, you know, the crew that I lived with, you know, West Wing, they can't do that anymore.
John Lovett
Well, that's. This is the thing that's really dangerous. Obviously, it affects people's lives, but the advantage Los Angeles has is there's the. The most talented crew in the world lives here because this is where they built their lives. And that advantage can go away, and once we lose it, we can't get it back. It's still. We still have it right now, but we won't have it for much longer. Like, I, I. It's a crisis. Like, I'm really like, I gotta get the mayor on this show.
Bradley Whitford
Let me take back the momentarily. Fuck you, Gavin. And respectfully ask our governor to solve this issue. I have heard that in connection to the fire rebuild that there is some emergency changes coming to that system. But it seems like it should be something we can depend on here.
John Lovett
I like Gavin Newsom. I think he's very smart. I think he is, like, he understands these problems. I just, like, I want it to feel more like our leadership in this state understand that we have a very short window to bring the production back. And increasing the pool of money for a tax credit is not enough. It's too late. We're too far past that. We need to actually really incentivize to bring people back. And the studios and the filmmakers and the producers need to have a line into the city and the state for what they need to make things happen here. Cause I do think part of the problem also is in the same way that they've had to do a bunch of emergency rules to allow people to rebuild after these fires. There's a bunch of ways that California and Los Angeles are just fucking slow. That's not even about money. It's just about how hard it is to get the permits, get the permissions, get it all set up here. So anyway, it's been bugging me, all right.
Bradley Whitford
They are building. There's a great big Apple studio that is coming online very soon. Yeah.
John Lovett
Yeah, that's good news. In lighter news, Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene was speaking to her.
Bradley Whitford
She's good people.
John Lovett
At a town hall recently. One of them shouted that the congresswoman was a butch body blank. A butchbody bigot, B, butchbody bully, or C, butchbody brainworm?
Bradley Whitford
Butchbody bully bigot.
John Lovett
He said big. Give him the ding. Yeah. Let's roll the clip. Nice. Let's do one more question. Crosswalks in Palo Alto were recently hacked to speak with two wealthy voices. Name one.
Bradley Whitford
Wealthy voices.
John Lovett
Yeah. The voices of wealthy people.
Bradley Whitford
I don't know, Elon.
John Lovett
Yes, they. Somebody hacked them to make this sound. Wait. Hi, this is Elon Musk. Welcome to Palo Alto, the home of Tesla Engineering. You know, they say money can't buy happiness and. Yeah. Okay, that's exciting.
Bradley Whitford
Yeah, that's. That's beautiful.
John Lovett
Thank you, Bradley.
Bradley Whitford
Thank you.
John Lovett
He'll be back. The final season of handmade sales, available now on Hulu. Coming up with Jessica Kirsten and Bob the Drag Queen.
Jessica Kirson
Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love it or Leave it coming up.
John Lovett
Love it or Leave it is brought to you by Helix. I have a Helix mattress. I have a Dawn luxe. It's extremely comfortable. I got a couple. Yeah, they're really. They're great. They help my sleep. They also just. They make the end of the day really nice. You know, like, you kind of finish all your tasks, your various tasks, and then it's. You get the. You get to just watch Real Housewives in your very comfortable bed. What a dream. So nice to do that right now. So how do you know which Helix mattress works best for you and your body? Take the Helix Sleep quiz and find your perfect mattress in under two minutes. I took the Helix Sleep Quiz, as I said, and I was matched with a dawnlux because I wanted something that felt firm but plush. And I sleep on my stomach and my back and my side. I sleep in all the positions. The helix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses, including the award winning luxe and ultra premium Elite collection Helix, plus a mattress designed for big and tall sleepers. Helix Kids. A mattress designed for growing bodies. Endorsed by child sleep experts. Helix knows there's no better way to test out a new mattress than by sleeping on it in your own home. That's why they offer a 100 night trial and a 10 to 15 year warranty to try out your new Helix mattress. Plus, your personalized mattress is shipped straight to your door free of charge. Go to helixsleep.com love it. For 20% off site wide, that's helixsleep.com love it. For 20% off site wide helixsleep.com love it. It. And we're back. Please welcome to the Sage, the incredible Jessica Kirson and the phenomenal Bob the Drag Queen. Hi. Welcome. Thank you for being here. Welcome back. We hope you right there is great. Hi.
Jessica Kirson
These pictures they chose of us are so funny.
John Lovett
It's great.
Bob the Drag Queen
What did you say?
Jessica Kirson
These pictures they chose of us, it's gone now.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I just saw them. I look like a thin Hispanic girl. Oh, I see it. Look.
Jessica Kirson
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's amazing.
Jessica Kirson
It's like me with the most makeup I've ever worn.
John Lovett
And it's a good picture. I think they're both good. No. You don't like them?
Bob the Drag Queen
No, it's okay. I hate every picture of myself, so it doesn't matter which one.
John Lovett
Well, you know what really helped me and then didn't help me. And I still have the same problem I always did, so it didn't help at all. Not at all. But Fran Leibowitz was talking in that documentary she made, and she said how she used to hit every picture. But within a couple years, when you look back in a picture, you just think, oh, boy, I looked young. And you no longer remember the pictures you liked or didn't like because they all are just you being young. And it's then you think, well, then. So I look worse now. So no matter, you know?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Jessica Kirson
Yeah. Time's not convinced. No, time's not kind.
John Lovett
Sometimes I think if I look in the mirror and I look really tired, and I think, God, I look like shit today, one year from now. That's my best.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Jessica Kirson
I have a theory that we're not meant to look at our faces as often as we look at our faces 100%.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't look at my face a lot. I'm serious.
Jessica Kirson
I do my makeup for hours at a time.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, you do.
Jessica Kirson
You ever know in movies, they always go crazy while doing their makeup? They're always like, it's because you're not meant to look at your face that often.
John Lovett
That's right. Oh, wow.
Jessica Kirson
My hot takes.
Bob the Drag Queen
That was a weird pause, Bob.
John Lovett
Hey, you wrote a novel. It's called Harriet Tubman Live in Concert, and that's funny. Yeah.
Jessica Kirson
I get how, on the surface, harriet Tubman Live in Concert sounds like an SNL sketch. I understand that. But when you read the book, it's actually. There's a lot of reverence for Harriet Tubman, for what black people have gone through and are continuing to go through in America. So everything I do, I'm gonna have a little bit of humor in it. I mean, even when my mom died, my friend Zach Nori Towers called me, and I was actually really distraught. Obviously, my mother passed away, and I was really, like, distraught, and I was just, like, crying, and he was crying with me, and he. And I like to rib each other all the time. And he goes, if there's anything I can do for you, please let me know. And I was like, if you could just quit comedy. So, you know, I'm gonna use humor in everything that I do. There is humor in the book. On the day after my mom passed away, it was kind of crazy.
John Lovett
I think of you as such a performer. I have trouble imagining you, like, sitting and writing for hours at a time without losing your mind. Is that fair?
Jessica Kirson
Well, I wrote this. It took me four years to write this book, which is embarrassing when you realize it's only, like, 240 pages.
John Lovett
I want you to say, I don't think that's embarrassing at all.
Jessica Kirson
That's what everybody finish a book.
John Lovett
You finished a book.
Jessica Kirson
I did.
John Lovett
Look at this. It's a book.
Jessica Kirson
And it really is in my voice that when you read the book, if you're familiar with me, you're like, oh, my God, you can hear me reading the book or you can hear me writing the book? And, I mean, honestly, it's really like comedians we write. I mean, we don't wing it. I mean, Jessica's the queen of winging it, actually. Like, literally, she has built an empire, but she also is a brilliant joke writer as well. So, you know, I have three comedy specials out. So I've written. I've written hours and hours of material. So, I mean, I do write, but this is my first time doing this form of prose, for sure.
John Lovett
And was it difficult writing so many sex scenes for Harriet Tubman? My God, putting yourself in that mindset.
Jessica Kirson
Not a single sex scene in the book.
John Lovett
I mean, it's pretty. I mean, it's beautiful. I'm not reading it, love. You're Right. I'm sorry to say that this lovemaking.
Jessica Kirson
Scene with Harriet Tubman, you will be haunted, rest assured. What?
John Lovett
I'm sorry, Harriet Tubman isn't a. Isn't a woman that had sex. You're saying that. That her. Yeah, She's a revered figure. But is it not possible that Harriet Tubman loved to.
Jessica Kirson
Your ghost will not make it on the Underground Railroad. Your ghost is not going to make the trip on the underground.
Bob the Drag Queen
I rubbed one out to her once.
Jessica Kirson
She actually was a bit of a sex symbol. So Harriet Tubman would actually use her feminine wiles in her journeys back and forth. So it's actually not far fetched that Harriet Tubman because, you know, you usually got to get what you want. And whenever that didn't work, she also carried a gun. That is true. Harrietub and carried a. Carried.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's amazing.
Jessica Kirson
So even in the afterlife, you know, she would, you know, she takes care of business.
John Lovett
Jessica, after seeing your special kids know nothing and you have to teach them everything. That seems like a slog.
Bob the Drag Queen
It is a lot. I didn't have any of my kids because I don't want to ruin this temple, but it's a lot. It is because I'm older, so. But I mean, it's amazing. But they'll be like, pick me up. And I'm like, pick me up. I've been on the floor since yesterday. Yeah.
Jessica Kirson
My favorite thing to do is to go to people's houses who have kids and then like, have fun with the kids in a way that the parents will not want to do and then leave. Like, my friend Jasmine has this daughter and we do this thing called she has a child. We do this thing called Taco where you go taco. And then you take the. Pick the kid up and you fold them like a taco and you just do this and the kid go taco. And then we go. And then Jasmine's like, don't fuck. I can't. I'm not doing that when you leave. I'm not doing that when you fucking leave.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's funny.
John Lovett
Yeah, I always. When I always, like. Because the parents, when you visit between like three and five, that's before they've been handed off to the government, you know, for part of the day. You're still on it. And I would love just sort of you can like three and kids between three and five, you can really kind of. You can lift them, you know, so you can. You can kind of spin them around and make them real dizzy.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, yeah. You know, and they like slam Into a wall. It's hilarious.
John Lovett
Parents hate it. Yeah, parents do. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
John Lovett
I'm gonna get married soon. You think that's a mistake?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes.
John Lovett
Oh, no.
Jessica Kirson
You do? No. Immediate yes.
Bob the Drag Queen
Are you sure?
John Lovett
Yeah, 100%. But you know what I. One thing I've learned. I don't know. How many long term relationships were you in?
Bob the Drag Queen
I've only been in them. I'm a lesbian.
John Lovett
Right.
Bob the Drag Queen
So, yeah, they. Yeah, they've ended after two years and stayed with them for 12. That's how.
John Lovett
Right, right. But for me, it's like. Like you have to have at least two long term relationships.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
John Lovett
Because it's only in the second long term relationship that you figured out what the problems in the first term. First relationship were. Your fault.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, that's true. They weren't. But I was always told, oh, they weren't your fault. I mean, I had. Yeah. I mean, I of course had a part in it, but I was always told that every single thing was my fault. I was with someone who couldn't take responsibility or own her part. Oh, wow, this is getting really upsetting. But I'm with someone now who's the nicest and most amazing caring person.
Jessica Kirson
You said that last time.
Bob the Drag Queen
I never said that.
Jessica Kirson
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. She's here. My new partner.
John Lovett
Yeah, it's good.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
John Lovett
Forget what Bob said.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, we joke all the time. Yeah, joke.
Jessica Kirson
I joke. I kid.
Bob the Drag Queen
We joke.
John Lovett
Bob and Jessica. As things get progressively worse, an American conservative media gets more and more panicked about gender and sexuality. Because if they didn't, they'd have to cover the news. I'm running out of things to say about it. Which is why I wanted you two to say it instead. As we all weigh in on the question, will this successfully distract straight conservatives from the many terrifying real problems affecting our country? In a segment we're calling look over they them there.
Jessica Kirson
I love Bob and Jessica. Sounds like a straight couple. Bob and Jessica are coming over for dinner.
John Lovett
It sounds like the hosts of a morning TV show.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, it does.
Jessica Kirson
With Bob and Jessica.
John Lovett
And that's the traffic report back over to you. Bob and Jessica. It does.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, it does.
John Lovett
Really does. First up, the claim that sitting in front of a screen makes you a woman.
Bob the Drag Queen
What?
John Lovett
Yep.
Jessica Kirson
To be fair, Jessica is sitting in front of a screen. So one out of three chances, it will work.
John Lovett
Let's roll the clip. When you sit behind a screen all day, it makes you a woman. Studies have shown this. Studies have shown this. And if you're out working, like building robots like Harold, you are around other guys, you're not around. Hr, ladies and lawyers gives you estrogen. What do you do? Let me finish.
Bradley Whitford
Judge.
Bob the Drag Queen
What a faggot behind the screen.
Jessica Kirson
Can we just look at the beginning of the clip when he goes sitting behind the screen all day.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. Sashay. That's amazing.
John Lovett
That's good.
Jessica Kirson
That man knows the flavor of penis. If he did a blind test, he'd be like, that's dick. That is dick. I know it is, right?
John Lovett
It's like. It's like, okay, diet Dr. Pepper, Dr. Pepper. Penis. Penis.
Jessica Kirson
No, he'd be like, Diet Dr. Pepper, Dr. Pepper, Jim.
Bob the Drag Queen
But he sits in front of a screen all day, he's on the news.
John Lovett
I think he might be full of shit. Yeah. Jessica, your Hulu Special is called I'm the Man.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
John Lovett
Is that because you do stand up and you don't work behind a screen?
Bob the Drag Queen
That's like, because of the term, like, I'm the man. Like, I am a female comic who's very powerful and fearless, and I. Yeah. So, like, society's, you know, view of what a man is. Also, every time I've been with a woman, a straight guy, I said, who's the man? And I'm like, I guess it's me, because I don't listen. And I'm dead inside.
Jessica Kirson
I was at Taco Bell recently.
Bob the Drag Queen
Not to brag, I'm there every night.
Jessica Kirson
But I pulled up to the drive thru, and the lady at the drive thru was like, welcome to Taco Bell. And I was like, hi, can I get the Doritos Locos and Mountain Dew0 Baja Blast? And then she said, yes, ma'am, absolutely. Just drive up to the next window. And I was like, I don't have a. I don't mean. I don't think my voice is that feminine. Okay, sure, whatever. So I was like. And I was like, I'm not gonna correct her. It's fine. We pull up to the window, and I look it. It's a man. Cause I said, yes, ma'am. We pulled up two men. We were like, what do we do? We didn't say anything. I just said. I said, thank you, ma'am. He said, yes, ma'am. On your way.
John Lovett
Kiss. Kiss.
Jessica Kirson
Kiss.
John Lovett
Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. That's an opportunity to kiss. Yeah, you should kiss Mountain Dew0. That's a cursed drink.
Jessica Kirson
No. Oh, no, no. Let me tell you right now, I'm not one to go on and on about beverages. That being said, I'm pre diabetic, so I can't drink sugar. Full drink. So if you're out There looking for a great sugar free beverage. I'm gonna rank them for you. So at the very, very top of the list you have Taco Bell's Baja blast, Mountain Dew Zero. This is elite. You can't even tell it's zero sugar. Then under there you have Diet Dr. Pepper. Okay, that's a good one. Absolutely amazing. Below that you're gonna have Coke Zero and Pepsi Max. But over here in the other world, there's this group of maniacs and they drink Diet Coke.
Bob the Drag Queen
I like Diet Sprite.
Jessica Kirson
Diet Sprite is great.
Bob the Drag Queen
Diet dad.
Jessica Kirson
Diet Coke is a cult. It's crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
It is a cult.
Jessica Kirson
They'll drink it with anything. They're like, good morning. I have a sauce, steak and cheese and a Diet Coke.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
John Lovett
So in my fridge at home we have Diet Coke. And one level down is all caffeine free Diet Coke. Silver can, gold can.
Bob the Drag Queen
Wow.
John Lovett
Because silver Diet Cokes you can drink until 3 o'clock. Gold diet cokes you can drink 3 o'clock till morning.
Jessica Kirson
I would say you have reached a certain age when the caffeine and Diet Coke is sending you into a. Yeah. When you're like, if I drink this Diet Coke, I'm not gonna get the baddest whole. You are a woman of a certain age.
John Lovett
Yeah, I am. I am of that. Whatever age you think that is, I have hit it. I am on the other side of that age. If I. If I get anywhere near a full caffeinated Diet Coke after 4 o'clock. After 4 o'clock, two days are ruined.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's amazing.
John Lovett
That is such a crisis. If I have a Diet Coke after 3:00, the next day is fucking. I'm not better the day after that. That's how fucked I am.
Jessica Kirson
I imagine you have a Diet Coke and someone walks in like, are they filming Breaking Bad in here? What is going on? This guy's cracked out in here.
John Lovett
Next up, the idea that tariffs equal girlfriends. This week, Vox published an article titled the Strange Link between Trump's Tariffs and incel ideology. Meet the lonely men who think tariffs will get them girlfriends. Apparently, it's part of a larger online hysteria that claims women have cushy email jobs, providing them with a level of financial security which keeps them from having to marry and have sex with socially dysfunctional men. If tariffs tanks the economy, women will be forced to marry men for economic survival, thus righting a terrible wrong against the duds.
Bob the Drag Queen
Can someone kill me? I'm serious. Can someone just kill me tonight?
Jessica Kirson
I don't think maggots know What a tariff is.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't either.
Jessica Kirson
I genuinely don't think they know what it is, what it does, who pays for it, where it comes from, who came first, the tariff or the product. They have no clue. And they will say it does anything. Tariffs cure cancer. Tariffs gives you girlfriends. Tariffs gives you wings. Don't drink a tariff after 3pm.
Bob the Drag Queen
So brilliant.
John Lovett
Yeah, I just like. It's just like you're a. You're sitting in your. You're in front of your computer, in your parents house, becoming a woman. Becoming a woman. You're gaming life hasn't gone your way. You think that tariffs are gonna fuck up the marketing jobs for the women and turn you into what, a factory foreman?
Jessica Kirson
I hate to say it, but those guys who are not getting laid, not only could tariffs not get you laid. Jesus Christ. Could not get those guys laid.
John Lovett
Yeah, tariffs. That's your problem. That's your problem. You got jersey bed sheets. Get it together.
Jessica Kirson
It's terrifying. No, that was.
John Lovett
No, hey, come on.
Bob the Drag Queen
That was horrible.
John Lovett
Come on. If you committed, we would have been in.
Jessica Kirson
They didn't hear.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, that's true.
Jessica Kirson
I said it's terriful is what I said.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm see, it worked. It worked.
John Lovett
We're just terrifing. Let's do. What's this? Next up, maybe the TSA body scanner turns you gay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh my God.
John Lovett
In a recent podcast clip that went viral, a Christian nationalist pastor expressed concern that the TSA body scanner return him gay with its gay beam. I had to be molested at the airport to go to Florida.
Jessica Kirson
Right. Just to get on an airplane.
John Lovett
Because I'm not going to go through the molested machine. I didn't let C.J. do it. I wouldn't let him do it.
Jessica Kirson
Said you're getting patted down too, buddy. I don't want them turning you gay.
Bob the Drag Queen
I. I can't. I'm sorry, I just can't take it.
John Lovett
I just don't think it's the beam, my friend.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, you go through like I'm about to go through security and you come out and you're like, hello.
Jessica Kirson
I mean, we know that's not true because all gays have TSA PreCheck. Everyone knows we would never stand in this machine. We don't do that.
John Lovett
Such an important point.
Jessica Kirson
We walk by, realize it's like you feel so vip. You're like looking at the straight men kick their shoes off, taking out their laptops and their fucking iPad pros and their Nintendo switches.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
John Lovett
And finally, can white men can wear. No, no.
Jessica Kirson
Don'T finish it. The answer is no.
John Lovett
I also, I misread it. It's not, can white men. It's can men wear white jeans?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. No. Cause they shit themselves so much.
Jessica Kirson
Not straight men.
John Lovett
Yeah, yeah, maybe the stray man. Shooting themselves. The Trump administration has ignored the Supreme Court, sent our nation into a constitutional crisis, attacked our universities, erased our history. But Fox News can't cover that. So they have to ask important questions, like, can men wear white jeans?
Jessica Kirson
I will say in their defense, no.
John Lovett
Finish the thought. Finish the thought.
Jessica Kirson
White jeans are, like, hot. Like, when a man wears white jeans, I think to myself, there's no way this man would ever be straight. A straight man would not think to wear white jeans, for starters. And if they do, they would be covered in mustard and ketchup, beef jerky, Cheeto dust, Red bull Cheeto dust. They don't have the. They don't have the tact it takes to wear white jeans.
John Lovett
It's really. It's high. The white jeans, they're high risk, high reward. If it's working, you feel like you're just. You're crushing life. Look at me in these white jeans. The other thing about the white jeans is if the sneakers are off, you look insane. Yeah, you look crazy. Everything has to be right.
Bob the Drag Queen
Not a lot of lesbians don't wear white jeans either. I just realized.
John Lovett
Huh?
Bob the Drag Queen
I love that no one just responded to that.
Jessica Kirson
Why?
John Lovett
Do you feel very alone?
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know. I mean, I do, but I don't know. I don't know. Let's just go over something else.
Jessica Kirson
I feel like.
Bob the Drag Queen
Can you just agree with me?
Jessica Kirson
So it's true. I have never seen a lesbian wear white jeans. And if I see it, I'll say, not a lesbian. You can't fool me, bitch.
John Lovett
You're a lesbian.
Bob the Drag Queen
No.
John Lovett
We gotta get these cards checked.
Jessica Kirson
She's from Lebanon.
John Lovett
Oh, my God. You're Lebanese.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, I'm Jewish from Lebanon.
John Lovett
So, anyway, back. I got a lot of questions about. I got a lot of questions about Chicken Turner. So we're in good shape.
Bob the Drag Queen
Chicken.
Jessica Kirson
Are you Jewish?
John Lovett
Yeah, me.
Jessica Kirson
Oh, no. I know.
John Lovett
Hey, do me a favor. Never ask anyone that.
Jessica Kirson
You get. Well, I was. I was like. Cause you were. I was like. All this Jewish stuff he's saying is, I was like, jessica, are you okay?
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, he didn't say, are you a Jew? That would have been.
Jessica Kirson
Yeah, I didn't say that yet. Yeah, you have to show the book.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, that's amazing what you just said. Just show my book. I mean, I've Been getting laughs the whole time. Can you fucking show my book?
John Lovett
The book is Harriet Tyler Live in Concert, a novel. Bob the Drag Queen, New York Times bestseller.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's a bestseller.
John Lovett
Bestseller. Finally. Finally a story about what it would be like if Harriet Tubman was around now.
Jessica Kirson
Exactly. Exactly. And we got some great acclaim. Whoopi Goldberg loves the book. Karamo loves the book. All the black people.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
John Lovett
Great.
Jessica Kirson
You're gonna ask me if I'm black.
Bob the Drag Queen
Are you?
John Lovett
You're black. Now I'm feeling like I. Like, should I have asked at the beginning?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, it would. It wouldn't have been offensive at all.
Jessica Kirson
Yeah, it would have been weird, but it would have been offensive. Like certain people you can ask. There's one you're like, are you like. I was. I. I met someone recently and I didn't ask her if she was black, but I did lean over and I was like, is she black? So I don't know if any of you watch. I don't watch Real Housewives. Do any of you watch Real Housewives?
John Lovett
I've been watching it. Yeah.
Jessica Kirson
So I was. So I was on this TV show with one of the Real Housewives of Potomac. Her name is Robin.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Jessica Kirson
And I didn't know if she was. Cause she's so light skinned. So I leaned over to another black person, Danielle Reyes, and I was like, is this bitch black?
John Lovett
She is cool. Oh, what a relief that is. I'm also just about like, maybe one like, you're black. And I knew that before. I didn't have to ask. I'm just imagining how it would be received if everything about this novel was the same but you were white.
Jessica Kirson
It'd be crazy.
John Lovett
Oh, my God, it would be crazy. So tell me about this fictionalized version of Harriet Tubman in the present. She's a rapper, I understand.
Jessica Kirson
No. So she comes back. So Harriet Tubman wants to continue her work as an abolitionist. Right. Helping get people to freedom. Now, Harriet Tubman actually did use music in her work as an abolitionist. She would go to the edge of the woods and she would sing a song very quietly. Not like in the Cynthia Rivo movie. She's in the. She's in the woods belting like, girl, you're gonna get caught. No, girl, you go to the edge of the woods, you would sing a song very quietly. And then the nearest enslaved person would hear that song and they would start singing so you wouldn't get caught. Then everyone else starts singing. And that is a message that lets you know someone's gonna be delivered tonight. Someone's gonna be taking their journey. Someone's gonna become a passenger on the underground railroad. So it's actually not far fetched to imagine that Harriet Tubman would use music in her work. And obviously the goal post for freedom has moved. Right. What freedom means is constantly moving, but it doesn't mean you don't keep moving with the goalposts. So Harriet Tubman is working with a semi retired hip hop producer named Darnell. And on the journey, she realized that he might not be free and she's gonna help him get to his freedom.
John Lovett
That's beautiful.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, I love that.
Jessica Kirson
Thank you.
John Lovett
Bob's book, Harriet Tubman Live in Concerts out now. Jessica special special. I'm the man hits Hulu on April 25th.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, next Friday. Yeah, I'm.
John Lovett
Where'd you. Where'd you film it?
Bob the Drag Queen
I filmed it in New York. It's Tony Hall.
John Lovett
That's great.
Jessica Kirson
That's so amazing.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, I'm really proud of it. It's great. Yeah. No, it's really, it's different. You know, I pride myself on being very different on stage. And, and I really am excited for the world to see it, you know, and I'm excited it's with Hulu. They're incredible. Yeah.
Jessica Kirson
If you don't watch it, you're crazy. Jessica Kiersten is not only one of the funniest comedians of all time, she is the comedian that they call when someone needs to learn how to be a comedian. She is. Am I lying? No, I'm not lying. She is like a comedian's comedian.
John Lovett
She.
Jessica Kirson
And you know how you know she's good because gay guys like her.
John Lovett
Yeah. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
They're the best.
Jessica Kirson
We hate everyone.
John Lovett
That's right. That's right. That's right. So check out the special when we come back. We have one more segment. Hey, don't go anywhere.
Jessica Kirson
There's more of Love it or leave it coming up.
John Lovett
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Jessica Kirson
I just came from therapy.
John Lovett
He just came from therapy. Look at that. Look at that. Don't I seem relaxed? He does, actually. He does actually. There's a chill to him. For example, it's helpful for learning positive coping skills on how to set boundaries. It empowers you to be the best version of yourself. It isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. It's convenient too. You can join a session with a click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life. Plus switch therapists at any time. Your well being is worth it. Visit betterhelp.com lovett to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com love it.
Jessica Kirson
And we're back.
John Lovett
Hey, everybody, welcome Bradley Whitford back on stage. Come back. Oh, my God. Welcome back Bradley Whitford, everybody.
Bradley Whitford
I was working on my Harriet Tubman audition.
John Lovett
Hey, everybody. Before we get to our final moments together, quick notes. One, go to crooked.com store. We have new joine or die Pride merch. We want to get the pride merch out there so people can wear it during pride. Getting ahead of the game. Really great. It's basically, look, the conservatives are trying to separate the peel the tea off from the lgb, all right? And we gotta keep the lgbt gotta stick together. So really great designs. They're awesome. We have an amazing designer. Zevi and their whole team did an amazing job. So go to crooked.com store. Check out what our founding daddies would have wanted. All right? Also, we've got a newsletter you could sign up for@crooked.com daily. They're doing an amazing job. The team at what a Day does an amazing job on the podcast. They do an amazing job on what a Day the newsletter. So check that out. Also, next week we're in dc, which is already sold out, but we'll be back in LA on May 1st with Guy Branham, bestselling Edie Patterson. And so if you're in LA, grab tickets@crooked.com cricket. All right, now we're into our final segment. It's been a joy to be here with Bob, Jessica and Bradley Whitford. I like to say your full name, gay icons and Bradley Whitford. So it's time to close out the show. For a segment we're calling Questions About Being Gay Lesbian or Bradley Whitford. Here's how it works. If you have a question or that you were ever too afraid to ask about what it's like to be gay or Lesbian or Bradley Woodford, now is your chance. Our producer Bill is floating around with a mic. We'll take a couple questions, then we'll get the fuck out of here. Any questions? I have a question for Bob. Okay, Bob, you came onto my radar when you were out in New York City getting married to other drag queens.
Jessica Kirson
Oh, my God.
John Lovett
I know.
Jessica Kirson
Yeah. It was called Black Queen Weddings for Equality. This was, my God, maybe 15 years ago. And we used to go out every Saturday and do these protests in Times Square about inequality between the queer community and Muggles.
John Lovett
Yeah. So my question is, would you do that in today's politics where we are now?
Jessica Kirson
Yeah, I mean. I mean, I did joke. I mean, I am a very, very visibly queer person. I'm also a physically large person. I'm like 6:2, like a dainty 230.
John Lovett
Also, Trump's figures, which I was saying.
Jessica Kirson
I need to go put on one of his golf outfits because that man is. We are not the same size. Donald Trump is not 220 pounds, something like that. You're telling me I am 10 pounds heavier than Donald Frumpy Trump? Yes. I mean, so, I mean, yeah, I certainly would. I mean, I still love to, you know, rebel. I was at this. I used to do a lot of activism back in the day, like getting arrested and doing all these protests. Cause my voice was really small in terms of the world I didn't have. So I had to make a lot of noise to be seen and to be heard. So I had to get arrested. I had to call the news there while I was getting arrested, that kind of stuff. And I remember being doing this panel at DragCon, and this one lady was like, tweeting's not enough. Instagram posts are not enough. I'm like, bitch, not your shitty little tweets. No one follows you. Of course yours aren't enough. But the thing is, everyone has to do their part, right? Everyone can't be in the streets marching. Everyone can't get arrested. It's also insanely ableist to be like, if you're not marching, some people can't even get out of their home. Their anxiety won't even let them leave the house. So if everyone does their part, some people are going to be getting arrested, some people are going to be causing scenes, some people are going to be doing, causing, you know, creating legislature. Some people are going to just be tweeting. So we're going to be retweeting. Just do whatever it is that you can do. So it all moves the needle forward, in my humble opinion.
John Lovett
I like that. This is a question for all of the panelists. The president has made a ton of executive orders. If you could make an executive order, what would you do?
Bob the Drag Queen
Get rid of him.
Jessica Kirson
I would ban straight men from being flight attendants because I am 30, 30,000ft in the air. I want to feel comfortable. The last thing I want, somebody like, nigga, you want some peanuts? I'm like, I ain't never wanted cran apple that bad. I would be like, cran apple. I'll be thirsty. On the 24 hour flight to Australia. I would rather starve than have a straight man give me a heated up hungry man meal.
John Lovett
Bradley, you have an eo. You have an executive order.
Bradley Whitford
God, just give me a president without, like creamsicle hair.
Jessica Kirson
It's very odd. I have a question about. So I'm bald, right? And when you have the full horseshoe, like Dr. Phil, what do you say when you sit down at the barbershop, like, what are you saying to them?
Bradley Whitford
It's like a beard trim kind of thing.
Jessica Kirson
But, like, is no one like, girl, just shave this part off? I can't. I'm questioning the communication going on between someone who will not just shave the back of their hair on head and then they. Because he's going to a barber. He's on TV all the time. Someone's doing his hair and they're going to a groomer.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't think he's going to a barber.
John Lovett
Yeah, he's probably getting groomed and he's like, give me the summer cut.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, the.
John Lovett
It's hot out here.
Bob the Drag Queen
My dad wore a toupee like that, so it's even more traumatizing.
John Lovett
It seems like he has that and it's kind of swoopy. But also there's been reports about having scalp reduction surgery so that it closed part of the top. Oh, my God. There's been a lot of different reports, but it's very clearly a very. I think that if we saw him, it would be kind of vaguely Merlin, like, you know, fully down.
Bradley Whitford
Is there ever a hair correction toupee.
Jessica Kirson
That works or they have great toupees. Oh, my God. Toupees are brilliant these days. So I don't know why the. He's not going to get his hair done in a way that looks Nice.
Bob the Drag Queen
But he thinks it looks good. It's all that delusional thinking, you know?
Jessica Kirson
You know, he, he gets his suits intentionally, like they look all ill fitting, but they're intentionally made that way. And he, he got. He also knows. You ever see him on profile, he stands like this.
John Lovett
Have you ever noticed that, like he's.
Bob the Drag Queen
About to go in the pool?
Jessica Kirson
It's because he's wearing the heels. All the guys wear the heels. So he's leaning forward.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, that's interesting.
John Lovett
But also because. Because men have decided it's. It's the Pilates for fags and yoga's for fags. They all shuffle. They don't have any flexibility here, so they just shuffle because they're just. Everything here is tight. So that's part of it too. My executive order of the week would be. I love. I have learned so much about cooking and I've learned so much about food from influencers. I really have. Nothing has been more helpful. I think it's an incredible tool for social media. I learn recipes. I think that, like, I've become a better cook faster because I have so much knowledge that I can draw on from seeing people chop and do things that I can just draw on, which I love. There are these incredible women making incredible dishes. They are beautiful, they are talented. I never want to see the men you're cooking for. Every time one of these incredible women finishes making a spectacular meal, they place it down in front of this fucking garbage bag of a man. These women are in. They are clearly working out. They're up at 5. They're taking care of this kid. Their skin is amazing. They're on top of every single part of their day and they put this food, this littleish in front of a fucking ungrateful beast and it fucking kills the fantasy. Like when Martha Stewart went to jail, she wasn't perfect anymore. That's my executive order. I don't want to see your husbands. Let's do one more question. Ideally for everybody, but it could be for one person.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
John Lovett
This is for all the panelists.
Bradley Whitford
If you were to make up a.
John Lovett
Republican drag name, what would it be? Oh, that's interesting. That's interesting.
Bradley Whitford
Tariff.
Jessica Kirson
Yeah, I mean, so, so, so to.
John Lovett
Give it o Mar Tariff.
Bradley Whitford
Omar Tariff.
Jessica Kirson
So to give an idea on how direct. To give an idea on how drag name work. Drag names work. There's. There's a lot of ways. There's three formulas that really work for drag names. One is a very feminine version of the name you already have. So instead of Donald Trump he'd be like, Don Radonda Trump. Right? And then you have a play on words, right? Like this queen, she just lost her home. Her name is lavonda Bridges. That kind of name, right? So a play on words like Shalita baby. And then you. And then you have really opulent names like Manuela Dupree Balenciaga. So those are typically the three way. But there's obviously like, also stupid names like Bob Dragwin as well. So to give y'all a framework, those are the ways that people often come up with drag names.
John Lovett
For sure. I have one.
Jessica Kirson
I'm ready.
John Lovett
Anti abortion.
Jessica Kirson
There it is.
John Lovett
That's amazing.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's amazing.
John Lovett
How about that?
Bob the Drag Queen
I have won Lindsey Graham Cracker.
John Lovett
Oh, that's nice.
Jessica Kirson
I have one. How about. Who's the Supreme Court who just lost in Wisconsin or where was it where Elon Musk tried to buy all the.
Bradley Whitford
Susan Crawford.
Jessica Kirson
Yeah, so. So her name would be Shanita Vote.
John Lovett
That's pretty good. She won. She did win. Yeah. She got all the votes she needed. Misinformation. Yeah, that's been. That must have been done.
Jessica Kirson
But it's still good, though.
John Lovett
It's still good.
Jessica Kirson
Oldie, but a goodie. Oldie but a goodie.
John Lovett
I think Brad the drag queen would be great.
Bradley Whitford
Yeah.
John Lovett
Have you ever done drag, Bradley Woodford?
Bradley Whitford
I. Yeah, I have. I played a. I played a cross dresser on Transparent and I loved was. It was very exciting to me. It was scary to me because I was like, oh, shit. Like, am I gonna, like.
John Lovett
Cause you were still turned on.
Bradley Whitford
Yeah, I was. I was like, I've never done this, but the fitting. I was, you know, I'm fine, you know, playing somebody who murders someone, but I'm like, scared shitless going to the to. And it was. I. I got into it. The costume person complimented my legs, and immediately I was like, make my tits bigger. So the hemp, you know, so the hem comes up.
Jessica Kirson
It's a slippery slope. That's how it sounds. I once played a cross dresser and bitch, I'm not playing no more.
John Lovett
All right, that's where we have. That's where we have to leave it. Everybody check out Jessica's special on Hulu. Everybody check out Bob's book, Harriet Tubman. Yeah. Everybody check out Bradley Whitford on the final season of Handmaid's Tale. That's our show. Thank you to Bradley Whitford, Jessica and Bob the drag Queen. Next week, we will see you In Washington, D.C. there are 563 days until the midterm. Have a great night and have a great weekend. If you're already scrolling endlessly, which we know you are, don't forget to follow us at Crooked media on Instagram, TikTok and all the other ones for original content, community events and more. You can also find Love it or leave it on YouTube for videos of your favorite segments and other YouTube exclusive content. And if you want to type our personal praises or rip us a new one, consider dropping us a review. Finally, you can join Crooked's Friends of the Pod subscription community for ad free Love it or Leave it and Pod Save America episodes, subscriber exclusive pods and more. Sign up@crooked.com friends love it or Leave it as a Crooked Media production It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer, Bill McGrath is our producer and Kennedy Hill is our Associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Coffee, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, and Will Miles are our writers. Jordan Kanter is our editor, Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Cher. Sure. Thanks to our designer Sammy Caderna Rees for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And thanks to our digital producers David Tulls, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, Delon Villanueva, and Rachel Gajewski for filming and editing video each week. Our head of Production is Matt de Groot, our head of Program programming is Madeline Herringer, and our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.
Lovett or Leave It: Episode Summary - "The Faust and the Furious"
Podcast Information:
Jon Lovett kicks off the episode with a blend of humor and sharp political commentary, setting the tone for a deep dive into the week's most pressing and absurd political happenings. The show features a mix of news breakdowns, guest interviews, and comedic segments, aiming to both inform and entertain listeners.
Supreme Court vs. Trump Administration: Wrongful Deportation Case
Attack on Academic Freedoms
Trump's Assault on the Free Press
Bradley Whitford on The Handmaid's Tale
Satirical Takes on Current Events
Sponsor Messages
Dialogue with Jessica Kirson and Bob the Drag Queen
Closing Remarks
This episode of Lovett or Leave It masterfully blends political analysis, comedic relief, and meaningful conversations, providing listeners with both entertainment and insightful commentary on contemporary issues.