Tortoise Investigates: Introducing...The Wargame

Podcast Information

• Title: Tortoise Investigates
• Host/Author: The Observer
• Episode: Introducing...The Wargame
• Release Date: June 12, 2025
• Description: In this episode, The Observer collaborates with Sky News to introduce "The Wargame," a simulated scenario exploring the potential consequences of a foreign power attacking the UK. Through expert insights and strategic deliberations, the podcast delves into national defense preparedness and decision-making under pressure.

1. Introduction to The Wargame

The episode opens with Chloe Hadjimatheou from The Observer introducing a groundbreaking collaboration between The Observer and Sky News. The focus is on "The Wargame," an immersive audio experience designed to simulate a hypothetical attack on the United Kingdom by a foreign adversary.

Chloe Hadjimatheou: "Hi, this is Chloe from the Observer. I want to tell you about a new podcast that my colleagues have been working on with Sky News. It's called the War Game. It's a unique audio experience that simulates what could happen if the UK was ever attacked by a foreign power."
— [00:08]

2. The Growing Threat Landscape

Deborah Haynes, Sky News’ defense editor, underscores the increasing global tensions and the immediacy of threats facing the UK. She highlights recent intelligence on Russian sabotage activities across Europe, emphasizing the urgency of preparing for potential aggression.

Deborah Haynes: "We have recently uncovered a staggeringly reckless campaign of Russian sabotage in Europe. Danger is moving towards us at full speed. We should expect to see continued acts of aggression here at home."
— [00:37]

3. Conceptualizing the Wargame

To bring the scenario to life, the team collaborated with an Oxford academic to design a realistic and challenging environment for the participants. The objective was to test the UK's defense mechanisms and decision-making processes in a controlled yet unpredictable setting.

Deborah Haynes: "If we could simulate some kind of threat unfolding, we could create a war game where we could test ourselves and bring that to the public."
— [01:00]

4. Assembling the Team

A diverse group of experts was selected to represent the British government’s response team. This included high-ranking military officials, national security advisers, legal practitioners, former politicians, and defense secretaries. Their collective experience aimed to mirror real-world decision-making processes under stress.

Deborah Haynes: "We put people who had experience of doing this for real back in the hot seat. General Sir Richard Barrons... Mark Sudwell... Helena Kennedy... Amber Rudd, Jack Straw, James P. Pete... I'm Ben Wallace, former Secretary of State, Defence, and I'm going to be playing the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom."
— [01:13]

5. Scenario Development

The wargame is set in the near future, reflecting escalating tensions between the UK and Russia. The premise involves a significant show of military force by Russia, raising alarms about a possible impending attack. The participants must navigate this uncertainty to defend national interests effectively.

Deborah Haynes: "This is clearly an enormous show of force. It is definitely out of the ordinary. The Russians are signaling that there may be... there may be an attack."
— [02:08]

6. The Unknown Threat

Central to the wargame is the unpredictability of the foreign threat. The participants are unaware of the specific nature of the impending attack, compelling them to remain vigilant and adaptive in their strategic planning.

Narrator: "The players don't know what's coming."
— [02:17]

7. Strategic Decision-Making Under Pressure

Participants are tasked with determining the UK's next move amidst potential aggression. Each decision must consider immediate reactions and long-term consequences, reflecting real-world geopolitical strategies where every action elicits a reaction.

Deborah Haynes: "You want to just take a breath before you do, decide exactly what the next move is. For every action, there will be a reaction, with or without their allies."
— [02:27]

8. Alignment with US Policy

The wargame integrates international alliances, particularly emphasizing adherence to US policy as per the hypothetical US President's directives. This aspect highlights the complexities of maintaining sovereign decision-making while aligning with major allies.

Deborah Haynes: "We are going to follow the US policy as laid out by the President, which will look after American interests first."
— [02:38]

9. Transparency and Public Engagement

Unlike traditional wargames conducted within classified government circles, "The Wargame" is designed to be transparent and accessible to the public. This openness aims to foster a broader understanding of national defense strategies and vulnerabilities.

Deborah Haynes: "The main difference is that nothing discussed in this version is classified. Russia knows our weaknesses, but do you?"
— [02:47]

10. Concluding Insights

The episode concludes with an affirmation of the UK's resilience and the serious consequences that would follow any attempt to bully, intimidate, or attack the nation. The collaborative effort between The Observer and Sky News aims to educate and prepare the public for potential future threats.

Deborah Haynes: "They cannot bully, intimidate, or strike us without serious consequences."
— [03:09]

Narrator: "Well done, Prime Minister."
— [03:16]

11. Call to Action

Chloe Hadjimatheou wraps up the episode by encouraging listeners to engage with "The Wargame" podcast, available across major platforms.

Chloe Hadjimatheou: "That was the trailer for the War Game. Just search for the War Game wherever you listen to your podcasts."
— [03:20]

Key Takeaways:

• Simulation of Real Threats: "The Wargame" offers a realistic simulation of a foreign attack on the UK, providing insights into national defense strategies.
• Expert Participation: The involvement of seasoned military leaders, security advisors, and former politicians ensures an authentic and informed approach to the scenarios.
• Public Transparency: By making the wargame content public, the podcast aims to demystify government defense strategies and engage the broader community in national security discussions.
• Strategic Alliances: The alignment with US policy underscores the importance of international alliances in defense planning and crisis management.

Notable Quotes:

• Deborah Haynes: "We have recently uncovered a staggeringly reckless campaign of Russian sabotage in Europe. Danger is moving towards us at full speed." [00:37]
• Deborah Haynes: "If we could simulate some kind of threat unfolding, we could create a war game where we could test ourselves and bring that to the public." [01:00]
• Deborah Haynes: "They cannot bully, intimidate, or strike us without serious consequences." [03:09]

Conclusion

"Introducing...The Wargame" serves as a compelling introduction to a podcast series that blends strategic simulations with public discourse on national security. By leveraging expert knowledge and realistic scenarios, The Observer and Sky News aim to prepare and inform listeners about the complexities of defending a nation in an increasingly volatile global landscape.