Lucky Boys | Lucky Boy Ep4

Summary

Lucky Boy | Tortoise Investigates – Episode 4 Summary: The Lucky Boys

Introduction

Lucky Boy, a compelling four-part series by Tortoise Media, explores the harrowing experiences of Gareth, whose adolescence was overshadowed by an inappropriate relationship with his chemistry teacher, Ms. Bowen. Episode 4, titled "The Lucky Boys," delves deeper into Gareth's quest for truth and validation, questioning whether his ordeal was an isolated incident or part of a larger pattern of abuse. Hosted by Chloe Hadjimatheou, this episode meticulously examines the aftermath of Gareth's allegations, the institutional response, and the broader societal implications.

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Revisiting the Past

Gareth's traumatic experience began at the age of fourteen, when he developed an infatuation with his 27-year-old chemistry teacher, Ms. Bowen. This relationship, which Gareth believed was a mutual connection, ultimately led to his emotional unraveling when Ms. Bowen abruptly left his life.

At [01:26], Gareth reflects:

"At no point did any pupil, parent, colleague or senior manager ever confide in me at the time or thereafter."

Chloe Hadjimatheou sets the stage by highlighting the profound impact of this relationship on Gareth's life, suggesting that Ms. Bowen's departure was the catalyst for his subsequent struggles.

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The TRA Hearing

In 2020, Gareth faces a significant setback when he learns that the authorities will not be pressing charges against Ms. Bowen regarding his allegations. Undeterred, Gareth seeks justice through the Teaching Regulation Agency (TRA) in 2022, hoping to hold Ms. Bowen accountable for her actions.

During the TRA hearing, Gareth shares his frustrations:

"I actually offered the police to go to her and tell her no criminal charges, but she has to talk to me. Offered it." [06:09]

The hearing, which closely mirrors a court trial but operates under a civil standard of proof, becomes a pivotal moment for Gareth. Over several months, the hearings unfold primarily through video links, allowing Gareth to confront his past while Ms. Bowen vehemently denies all allegations.

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Ms. Bowen's Testimony and Inconsistencies

Ms. Bowen stands before the TRA panel, maintaining her innocence throughout the proceedings. However, her testimony begins to unravel when inconsistencies surface. Initially presenting herself as composed and articulate, Ms. Bowen admits to receiving compliments from male students, some of which bordered on the inappropriate.

At [16:35], Ms. Bowen states:

"They were a little bit more crude or rude with the sort of things they were coming up with."

When questioned about her friendly demeanor towards Gareth and other students, Ms. Bowen responds:

"I didn't treat him any differently from any other student. I was just friendly." [13:13]

These admissions create a dissonance between Gareth's and Ms. Bowen's accounts, prompting the TRA panel to scrutinize the reliability of her statements further.

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Corroborating Stories: Sanjay's Account

In an effort to validate his experiences, Gareth connects with Sanjay, another former student of Christ College School who also interacted with Ms. Bowen. Sanjay's narrative adds a crucial layer to the investigation, suggesting that Gareth's experience was not an anomaly but part of a broader pattern of abuse.

Sanjay recounts his interactions with Ms. Bowen:

"I was egged on by the others to give her a kiss. So I'd kiss her." [38:48]

Moreover, Sanjay describes group dynamics in the school cafe, where multiple students, including himself, engaged in inappropriate behavior encouraged by peers, indicating a normalized culture of abuse:

"They were pushing boundaries and finding that there wasn't much resistance." [38:22]

Despite initially hoping for direct corroboration from Sanjay, Gareth discovers discrepancies in their memories. While Gareth recalls one-on-one interactions, Sanjay remembers more group-oriented activities, highlighting the complexities of collective memory over decades.

At [44:24], Gareth expresses his turmoil:

"All I can say to that, this is my response to it. Don't remember any of that in the cafe at all."

These contrasting recollections emphasize the multifaceted nature of memory and its susceptibility to distortion over time.

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Institutional Response and Impact

Christ College School's response to the TRA's findings has been markedly absent. The institution has neither acknowledged Ms. Bowen's misconduct publicly nor offered reparations to the victims, maintaining a stance of silence that frustrates Gareth and Sanjay.

Chloe Hadjimatheou highlights this institutional aloofness:

"In historical sex abuse cases, victims have received acknowledgement and apologies that back then the institution failed those pupils, even if today it's different." [29:09]

The lack of official acknowledgment exacerbates the victims' feelings of abandonment and mistrust towards the institution that was supposed to safeguard them.

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Broader Context and Societal Attitudes

Episode 4 situates Gareth's experiences within a wider societal context, drawing parallels with other high-profile abuse cases. The narrative underscores the gendered perceptions of abuse, where female perpetrators are often trivialized or eroticized, and male victims are stigmatized or dismissed.

Referencing the case of Rebecca Joynes, who was convicted for abusing teenage boys, Chloe notes:

"Her victim's experience and Gareth's are separated by more than three decades, but they're so similar that they sent chills down my spine." [49:46]

This comparison illuminates the persistent biases in how society perceives and reports abuse, highlighting the urgent need for systemic change in both institutional responses and societal attitudes.

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Emotional Aftermath and Personal Reflections

Gareth grapples with a tumultuous emotional landscape post-TRA hearing. The validation of his claims brings relief, yet it also forces him to confront unresolved feelings of betrayal, confusion, and grief.

Reflecting on his emotional state, Gareth shares:

"It was, yeah, there was a lot riding on it. There was a lot riding on it. So, yeah, it's massive relief. Like, overwhelming relief." [24:32]

Moreover, Gareth's interactions with other former students, such as Sanjay, introduce complex emotions like jealousy and self-doubt, as he begins to perceive himself among multiple victims of Ms. Bowen.

At [34:10], Gareth articulates his inner conflict:

"I feel a lot more used then."

These reflections reveal the profound and lasting psychological impact of his experiences, illustrating the long-term consequences of institutional and personal betrayals.

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Conclusion

Episode 4 of Lucky Boy, titled "The Lucky Boys," serves as a poignant exploration of memory, validation, and the quest for justice. Through Gareth's relentless pursuit of truth and the corroborative account of Sanjay, the episode underscores the pervasive nature of abuse within institutional settings and the societal challenges in acknowledging and addressing such transgressions.

Chloe Hadjimatheou's meticulous investigation not only vindicates Gareth but also shines a light on the systemic issues that allow abusers to evade accountability. The episode calls for a critical examination of how institutions handle allegations of abuse and challenges societal biases that hinder the recognition and support of all victims, regardless of gender.

Lucky Boy continues to unravel the complex tapestry of abuse, memory, and institutional failure, leaving listeners with a profound understanding of the intricate dynamics that shape victims' lives long after the abuse has ended.

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Notable Quotes

1. Gareth on Reporting the Abuse:

   "I would have made an intervention and reported it. Boy at 14 years old having sex with a 27-year-old teacher. That's going to have a certain effect on him." [01:37]

2. Ms. Bowen on Being Flattered:

   "Yes, I used to get really nice compliments. Obviously, I was going to feel flattered by that." [16:35]

3. Gareth on Ms. Bowen's Denials:

   "So she's a liar and she knows, and I know that she's a liar." [15:29]

4. Sanjay on Group Dynamics:

   "They were pushing boundaries and finding that there wasn't much resistance." [38:22]

5. Gareth on Emotional Impact:

   "I keep coming back to that fight I had with one of the six formers... I felt that he knew. That's why I became very upset about it." [27:22]

6. Chloe on Institutional Silence:

   "After the TRA reached its finding, Christ College didn't make any kind of public acknowledgement..." [29:09]

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Final Thoughts

Lucky Boy Episode 4 masterfully navigates the complexities of memory, abuse, and institutional accountability. By intertwining personal testimonies with broader societal critiques, the episode not only humanizes the victims but also challenges listeners to rethink prevailing narratives around abuse and victimhood. As Gareth and Sanjay's stories unfold, Chloe Hadjimatheou underscores the urgent need for systemic reforms to prevent such tragedies from recurring and to provide genuine support for those affected.

If you or someone you know has experienced similar issues, Tortoise Media encourages reaching out to support organizations such as the NSPCC or The Samaritans, as detailed at the end of the episode.

Transcript

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[Chloe Hajimathe]

Tortoise.

[Narrator]

Just a warning before we start. This episode includes descriptions of sexual abuse and strong language. Last time on Lucky Boy 1.

[Gareth]

At no point did any pupil, parent, colleague or or senior manager ever confide in me at the time or thereafter.

[Narrator]

There's a closing of ranks then and now.

[Gareth]

I would have made an intervention and reported it. Boy at 14 years old having sex with a 27 year old teacher. That's going to have a certain effect on him.

[Chloe Hajimathe]

But I think what it's done is fossilized him emotionally.

[Gareth]

So I would have been about 20. Yeah, I'd have been about 20, I'd say. And what happened was, is I was on the tube, I was minding my own business on the tube, going from Goldish Green to Hinden.

[Narrator]

At first, Gareth doesn't really notice when this pretty ordinary looking man gets on a Goldish Green tube station and he.

[Gareth]

Decided to come and sit next to me on the tube, opposite me.

[Narrator]

He seems to be staring at him. So Gareth looks up and eventually he places the guy, he was a couple of years above him at Christ College School.

[Gareth]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously we acknowledged each other, but he's sitting opposite me.

[Narrator]

They exchange a few bland pleasantries and then he says, this man, Smith, smiles and he leans over and he says something like, now I remember you. You were the one, that chemistry teacher, Ms. Bowen. And then he delivers a line that stuck in Gareth's head.

[Gareth]

You're not the only one. I remember those words. You're not the only one. And he got off the. He got off the tube.

[Narrator]

Gareth sat on that Northern Line train, glued to his seat, in shock. Just tell me when he said that to you, you weren't. You're not the only one. Where was the hurt coming from? Was it that she'd betrayed you? Was it that you weren't the special one?

[Gareth]

Right. There you go. Yeah, of course, she. Of course, that would have been betrayal. Well, after me, what was it. Was it before me? Was I like the little afterthought?

[Narrator]

Lots of victims of child sexual abuse are under the illusion that they instigated or chose the relationship, or in Gareth's case, that because he physically enjoyed it, it wasn't abusive. And often, years later, there's a realization that there was a power imbalance. And that's the moment when the fact that they were used begins to dawn on them. For Gareth, it's an agonising new reality, because ever since that chance encounter on the tube train, he's wondered, are there other boys like him? Other lucky boys who've spent a lifetime figuring out just how unlucky they really were? For me, it gets to the heart of why this story matters. We know from Gareth that he's a casualty of abuse and of a school that refused to treat him as a victim of anything other than his own mischief. But if the school's actions enabled Ms. Bowen to continue abusing, well, that's a bigger story altogether. If there are others, how many are we talking? Can they be tracked down? And if I find them, might they be willing to finally give Gareth the corroboration he's been searching for? I'm Chloe Hajima, and from Tortoise, this is Lucky Boy. Episode four, the Lucky Boys.

[Gareth]

You know, you gotta remember when I first gave my. My interview to the police, I actually thought. You know, I thought she was gonna come out and tell the truth. Imagine that. Imagine that. Crazy. Thinking back at all the different stages. And, like, I mean, I shouldn't be like that.

[Narrator]

Yet in 2020, when Gareth gets that call telling him the authorities won't be pressing charges against Ms. Bowen, he's gutted.

[Gareth]

I actually offered the police go to her and tell her no criminal charges, but she has to talk to me. Offered it. And they said, oh, we wouldn't do that. Even if I wanted that. They will not agree to that. And I take that in a hat. I take that like that. It's like, why the do I want to sit down and talk to her. What do I want to talk to her about?

[Narrator]

But you do.

[Gareth]

Oh, yeah, def. Desperately. Desperately. When I think about it now, I want to punch a wall. Like, I'm angry that I'm. I don't get to talk to her.

[Narrator]

What would you say to her? Do you know?

[Gareth]

I don't know.

[Narrator]

Would it be an anger?

[Gareth]

What's confusing is I might. I might want to hug her, I might want to kiss her. I might want to fuck her. I might want to punch her in her face. I might just want to cry. How about that? How fucked up's that?

[Narrator]

The thing with Gareth is his mental health issues mean he can't hold down a job. So he has loads of time on his hands to think about his next steps. And as far as he's concerned, the police dropping the case, it isn't the end of the story.

[Gareth]

The first photo I saw of Bowen, it was her with this young boy in. Like her in the background, looking over this young boy's shoulder, who didn't look dissimilar to me. Right. Sort of with her smiling and like.

[Narrator]

That photo Gareth's talking about was on a school website. Because after she left Christ School College back in 1988, Ms. Bowen carried on teaching without consequence. Fourteen more schools in total. It's the lack of accountability that makes Gareth so angry. So in 2022, Gareth goes to the teaching regulation agency, the TRA. It's the bit of the Ministry of Education that oversees the profession. They have real power to intervene if someone makes a serious allegation against the teacher, even if it's historic.

[Gareth]

I didn't really realize the TRA proceedings were going to be so court like. I didn't. I made a complaint because that was all that was on the table at the time. I didn't. But I remember when it fucking turned up, I was like, oh, fucking hell, this is big now. If this happens, this is big. This is serious. They're taking this seriously. People are reading oaths. People are.

[Chloe Hajimathe]

So this hearing, as I say, is being recorded. It's important that you speak clearly for us as well as giving us.

[Narrator]

The TRA hearing is very court like, although there are a couple of differences. For a start, although it has the look and feel of a criminal court, it follows the civil standard of proof rather than the criminal one. That means the allegations can be considered proven on the balance of probabilities. That's a lower standard than beyond reasonable doubt. In Gareth's case, the whole thing took place online via video link, and it went on for months.

[Chloe Hajimathe]

Can you hear me?

[Gareth]

Yeah, I can hear you. Good afternoon.

[Chloe Hajimathe]

Ok, good afternoon.

[Narrator]

What you're listening to is a recreation based on a transcript of the hearing. The entire thing runs close to 200 pages. So we combed through it and these are the sections we think are the most revealing and of how the case played out.

[Chloe Hajimathe]

I know that you understand, for the purposes of this hearing, that we will refer to you as Pupil A, obviously.

[Narrator]

It's now November 2022 and Gareth, or Pupil A, as he's being publicly referred to in the hearing, is sitting at home in his living room, looking at a handful of boxes on a screen. Inside the boxes are barristers, panelists, and.

[Chloe Hajimathe]

Ms. Bowen, if you'd like to just put the microphone on and just say a few words for the tape so that we have that recorded. My name is Sally Ann Bowen and I'm the accused teacher in this case.

[Narrator]

It's the first time he's seen her since she told him she was leaving for a kibbutz in Israel 34 years ago. Back then, in 1988, they were teacher and pupil. Now they're both adults, he a man of 50 and she in her 60s, just a few years short of retirement. All this took place months before Gareth came to see me with his story. But everything you've heard him say over the last three episodes, his entire account of what went on between them was put to Ms. Bowen by barristers who cross examined her over several days.

[Chloe Hajimathe]

I do solemnly, sincerely and truly declare and affirm.

[Narrator]

I always thought it was pretty unlikely that I'd get the chance to speak to Sally Ann Bowen. I had hoped. I wrote her a letter and emails. But the TRA hearing means that even if she doesn't want to talk to me, we can hear from Ms. Bowen herself. This isn't her real voice, but these are her real words.

[Sally Ann Bowen]

How does it feel for you to finally have your say in a hearing before a decision maker about those allegations?

[Chloe Hajimathe]

Yeah, it's a huge relief. I've had to live with these lies for eight and a half years. I've never yet had an opportunity to verbally defend myself.

[Narrator]

So I'm relieved as she's being questioned by her own lawyer. Gareth's watching it all on his laptop screen at home. It's the same woman he remembers, older now, but still the same long blonde hair and the same mannerisms. He's nervous as hell, but he's also dying to know what she's going to say.

[Sally Ann Bowen]

What was it like to sit through that evidence?

[Chloe Hajimathe]

It was Horrible, because he's not telling the truth. I felt embarrassed for him because, well, he knew that I knew what he was saying wasn't true. I also felt hurt because I was only ever friendly towards this student, and I thought, why are you doing this?

[Narrator]

She comes across as well spoken and articulate, and according to Gareth, she sounds much younger than she actually is. The victim in any kind of trial or hearing doesn't get a lawyer. The allegations are put to Ms. Bowen by a presenting officer for the TRA, the lawyer whose job it is to act as a kind of prosecutor. Ms. Bowen tells him that, yes, she did teach at Christ's College School in the late 1980s, and she remembers Gareth quite well.

[Sally Ann Bowen]

You describe him as being not a nice person. A pest.

[Chloe Hajimathe]

Yeah.

[Sally Ann Bowen]

That he hassled you in not a very nice way. He was quite aggressive.

[Chloe Hajimathe]

Yeah.

[Narrator]

She says she remembers that Gareth had a crush on her, but she says the feeling was not reciprocated.

[Chloe Hajimathe]

Of course not. No, no. Absolutely not. I talked to him on the bus, so I didn't do that with any other student because no other student wanted to sit on the bus and talk to me. But I didn't give. Like. I didn't treat him any differently from any other student. I was just friendly. I was friendly with all the students.

[Narrator]

Before long, the tribunal arrives at the questions everyone's been waiting for.

[Sally Ann Bowen]

Removed your trousers? Pulled down his boxer shorts. That didn't happen, did it?

[Chloe Hajimathe]

No, that's rubbish. That's impossible. He didn't come into the house. He didn't come into my room. It's impossible.

[Narrator]

As I go through the transcript of the TRA in the back of my head, I have all the evidence I've been gathering from so many witnesses and one student in particular, who I managed to get on the phone just before writing this episode. This guy was in Gareth's year at school, and he told me that back in 1988, he and a group of Christ College friends walked round to Miss Bowen's house after school one afternoon, and when they knocked on the door and she answered, he says Gareth walked down the stairs to greet them. What he tells me puts Gareth inside her house. But the panel judging Gareth's claims at the TRA hearing, they have none of this evidence. And Ms. Bowen denies all the significant memories Gareth's told me about the incident in the cafe with the porno mag, taking him to the pub and allowing him to come into her house.

[Sally Ann Bowen]

Did you ever have any form of sexual contact with him?

[Chloe Hajimathe]

Absolutely not.

[Narrator]

At this point in her evidence, Ms. Bowen seems very sure of herself. Gareth has to sit in silence while she's talking, but he's seething.

[Gareth]

I can tell you for certain she's not telling the truth.

[Narrator]

We've used AI to recreate Gareth's part of the transcript.

[Sally Ann Bowen]

What Ms. Bowen says is that she had no physical contact with you whatsoever, including kissing, masturbation or sex. What do you say about that?

[Gareth]

So she's a liar and she knows and I know that she's a liar.

[Narrator]

At this stage in the tribunal, I have to say things don't look great for Gareth. He's bitter and emotional and when he's cross examined, he comes across as difficult. In contrast, Ms. Bowen's stoic and composed. But then something happens when she's being questioned by the TRA's lawyer that's acting as a kind of prosecutor. She begins offering up new information. Stuff that Gareth's never even mentioned in his allegations or in his testimony. Like the fact that she enjoyed a lot of the attention she got from pupils at the school.

[Sally Ann Bowen]

The schoolboys were attracted to you, would that be fair to say?

[Chloe Hajimathe]

Yes.

[Sally Ann Bowen]

And you felt flattered at the time from that interest from the pupils?

[Chloe Hajimathe]

Yes, I used to get really nice compliments. Obviously I was going to feel flattered by that.

[Sally Ann Bowen]

You were flattered by 14 or 15 year old boys expressing an interest in you?

[Chloe Hajimathe]

Well, they would say things like, you look nice today, Miss, or your hair looks nice, you know, I like your top or whatever. Yes, of course I'm going to be flattered by that.

[Sally Ann Bowen]

Any other comments on your physical appearance? Other than those?

[Chloe Hajimathe]

Some of them were sexual, but. But I used to ignore them. I used to get wolf whistled catcalls as I walked across. Across the playground, you know, there's. From the chemistry building to the main block. But I. I just ignored comments like that. But I said, thank you. If someone said, you look nice today, Miss, and of course I did.

[Sally Ann Bowen]

Were you not flirting with Pupil A?

[Chloe Hajimathe]

No. No, not at all. What. What are you doing this evening? No, I don't think that's flirting. I was just answering his questions.

[Sally Ann Bowen]

Talking about staff members as well. Whether you fancied those staff members?

[Chloe Hajimathe]

Yeah. Which. Which did I like any of the MAL teachers? That kind of thing? I don't consider that flirting. Just answering his questions.

[Narrator]

And then the lawyer for the TRA turns to what seem to be inconsistencies in her testimony.

[Sally Ann Bowen]

Can you try to explain to the panel how when you describe him as always friendly and chatty, yet upon the other hand, as being a pest and A being hassling. How those two narratives align.

[Chloe Hajimathe]

Okay, so he was friendly, he was never unpleasant to me, and I was, I was friendly. I didn't want to hurt his feelings and say, no, no, you can't sit on the bus next to me and go and sit somewhere else. He was a pest. And yes, I did get the feeling that I was being hassled and followed around, but it didn't bother me. Yes. So he was friendly towards me, he wasn't unpleasant towards me.

[Narrator]

More inconsistencies are raised. She told the police she'd only ever spoken to Gareth on the bus once or twice. But now in the tra, she's admitting they would sit together regularly. She also seems to suddenly remember why witnesses would have seen them together at the pub and in Edgeware. And Sally Ann Bowen starts sounding flustered.

[Sally Ann Bowen]

So given that you've provided now a more accurate picture of pupil A as being someone who was always friendly, always pleasant towards you, very chatty, why didn't you provide that more later and better picture of pupil A as against casting aspersions that he was not a nice person, a pest, he hassled you. Why was that?

[Chloe Hajimathe]

Because my police interview, I didn't have time to prepare my answers. I was first of all blindsided by this allegation, struggling in my memory to remember events from whatever it was 27 years ago. And I didn't have time. And it was quick fired questions. It wasn't a cosy chat sitting with the police. I had one police officer just staring at me and the other one firing questions quickly. I was answering to the best of my ability with no preparation whatsoever to answer these questions. If I'd had time, then I would have perhaps been able to answer more fully. But I. I didn't have time.

[Sally Ann Bowen]

Well, it's not about presenting a story. It's about being honest to the police.

[Chloe Hajimathe]

I didn't remember. It's as simple as that. I, I didn't remember that at the time, but I did remember when I started to think about this student. I did remember things about this student from that time. I just.

[Narrator]

Gareth's sitting on his sofa at home taking this all in, and the one thing he can't get over is that she's speaking to the lawyer in this way that he recognizes there's a sexuality.

[Gareth]

To it as well. And I found that watching her with the trajectory that I found that she was, you know, because she was under pressure, she was pulling out all her tricks of manipulation. You know, I found them very reminiscent of the interactions I had with her as a. As a child. That's why when I came to that point and I addressed her directly, it was because I recognized her. I recognized the faces she was pulling and the way she was being. Yeah.

[Narrator]

Gareth and Ms. Bowen are only ever meant to answer the questions put to them. But there's this moment when Gareth is so overwhelmed by all the emotions flooding through him that he forgets all the other people on the video call and he speaks to her directly. Suddenly, it's just him and Sally Ann again.

[Gareth]

You know the truth. We do know the truth, Sally Ann. And you know you had sex with me on multiple occasions. Now, you can, you can try and put a new account, you can dress it up how you want and you can, you can, you can split hairs over dates, you can split hairs over when certain things happen and when they didn't happen. And I was, despite thinking that I was an adult, I was a very young and naive 14, 15 year old.

[Narrator]

Staring right at him. Gareth says. She doesn't flinch. It's impossible to tell what she's thinking. But Gareth can't stop.

[Gareth]

Cleanse your soul, man. Don't take that with you because you take that with you, Sally Ann, it's going to be on your soul. Just own it. Own it.

[Narrator]

In December 2023, the panel retires to consider the evidence. The panel's made up of three people. There's a teacher and there are two other members of the public who've handled complex investigations before. When they're ready, they call all the participants for a final video call to announce their finding. Gareth's testimony is consistent and convincing, they say, and it's more likely than not that Sally Ann Bowen did meet Gareth outside of school and that she allowed him to visit her at her home and that she did engage in sexual activity with him. The only allegation they're not convinced of is that she bought him alcohol in a pub. Sally Ann Bowen's obliged to be present for the entire finding, but when it becomes clear which way things are going, she gets up and walks away from her laptop.

[Sally Ann Bowen]

You will note that Ms. Bowen is not here. She's unable to remain on the call. And is there, you may think, understandably, maybe not devastated by the findings that you've made so far, which he. She can't continue to hear.

[Narrator]

The Teaching regulation agency bans Ms. Bowen from the profession indefinitely. It's a really big deal. And what's striking about it is how categorical they are in their finding. Especially when you consider that almost all the panel had to go on was two competing accounts. He said, she said, just like me. They found Gareth's account believable. The detail, the consistency in his story and the fact that he doesn't always put himself in a favourable light. It's a huge vindication for Gareth after so many years of being doubted. All those teachers who said they didn't know what went on back then or that Sally Ann Bowen wouldn't have behaved that way. Well, it's made their positions a lot more difficult.

[Gareth]

It was, yeah, there was a lot riding on it. There was a lot riding on it. So, yeah, it's massive relief. Like, overwhelming relief. I actually thought it was over and I meant. All right, go on. You can have a laugh at me.

[Narrator]

And then I called.

[Gareth]

Well, no, but it wasn't finished anyway.

[Narrator]

It wasn't finished because stuck in Gareth's mind was what that guy on the tube had told him, that he wasn't the only one. When Sally Ann Boung was banned from teaching by the tra, a few local papers reported the story and it went viral among former Christ College boys. Lots of guys in his ear were pretty sure Gareth was the victim because the rumours were so widespread at the time. But other former Christ College students just saw references to Pupil A as he was known in the tribunal. And a few of them told me they were all messaging each other, trying to guess who it might be. I've spent the last year calling as many of them as I could find, some scattered as far as Australia, Holland and the us. What I was hoping is that they'd give me a name, the name of the lucky boy that the guy on the tube was alluding to. But it turns out there isn't a name. There are lots and lots of names of boys who were rumoured to be having sex with Ms. Bowen and the guy on the tube. He could have been referring to any one of them. But one guy in particular kept coming up. All I'll say about him is that he was a member of the Christ College cricket team and he was a few years older than Gareth. He would have been in the sixth form back in the late 80s. Some of his closest friends told me they were convinced that the cricketer had a sexual relationship with Ms. Bowen. One of them said he'd even seen Ms. Bowen kissing him at a party. The cricketer wouldn't engage with me directly, but he passed on a message to say that, yes, he did have a sexual relationship with Sally Ann Bowen when he was still a student at the school at the time. He would have been over 16, so over the age of consent. Today, it's illegal for a person in a position of authority, like a teacher to have sex with anyone under the age of 18. But that law didn't exist back. Back then. The cricketer told me what happened with Ms. Bowen felt like a positive experience for him. And he doesn't want to talk about it, but he seems to be confirming that he was another boy at the school who was having sex with Ms. Bowen.

[Gareth]

I. I keep coming back to that fight I had with one of the six formers in. @ the. At Finchley Carnival. And he seemed so. So sure in himself.

[Narrator]

When I tell Gareth about the cricketer, it takes him back to one of the many fights he had. This particular one was with a much older boy.

[Gareth]

When he said to me, oh, she was a slag. The way he said it to me, I felt that he knew. That's why I became very upset about it, because he did it with such confidence, if you like.

[Narrator]

All those jibes about Ms. Bowen. Back then, it felt like the other kids were just making digs at him. But now Gareth's reframing those comments. Maybe they were trying to tell him something. He was hoping to learn if there was any truth to what the guy on the tube had told him. But now he's found out. It's a real blow.

[Gareth]

Yeah. I said from the start I didn't know anything. And I knew this process was going to be difficult for me because it's not nice to sit here and think I was basically like her plaything and that I was really nothing. Because like you said, I mean, whether wrong or right, I thought that I was one selected out of 900. And I know it doesn't make much difference, but you see, you know, learning these things, I don't know, I feel a lot. I guess I feel a lot more used then.

[Narrator]

When I started working on this story a year ago, I was trying to find out if anyone could confirm Gareth's memories. And I wanted to know why people were so reluctant to talk about it. Where I've ended up is somewhere far darker and harder to report. It's become clear to me that Gareth's name is one of many that circulated the school alumni network after the TRA finding was made public. I've looked into all the other names of men then boys, who were rumoured to have had sex or sexual contact with Ms. Bowen. Some of the names connected with her, like the cricketer, are more credible than others. But 30 years down the line, it's become almost impossible to sift schoolyard bravado and the sexism of the time from substantial allegations. So I haven't been able to corroborate most of these individuals confidently enough to lay them out for you here. But it leaves me with a clear view. Had the school or the authorities at the time taken seriously what was happening with Gareth, happening to Gareth, our view on Sally Ann Bowen would be so much clearer. We'd know if there were other victims and we'd know whether it was safe for her to continue teaching at 14 other schools. As it stands, we don't when you get the Planet Fitness Black Card, you can bring a friend anytime you work out. And now through March 13th, get your first month free when you join. You heard that right? Conquer the stair climber with your partner and climb. Enjoy a post workout recovery session in the hydro massage and do it all again with access to any of our 2700 convenient locations. So you coming? Get your first month free and all the perks with a PF Black Card for just $1 down $24.99 a month. Cancel anytime. Deal ends March 13th. See Club for details. The new Boost Mobile network is offering unlimited talk, text and data for just $25 a month for life. That sounds like a threat. Then how do you think we should say it? Unlimited talk, text and data for just $25 a month for the rest of your life? I don't know. Until your ultimate demise. What if we just say forever? Okay, $25 a month.

[Sanjay]

Forever.

[Narrator]

Get unlimited talk, text and Data for just $25 a month with Boost Mobile Forever. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds.

[Sanjay]

Customers will pay $25 a month as.

[Narrator]

Long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan.

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[Gareth]

Yeah, but I don't know his name. And I really don't know his name.

[Narrator]

There is still one more person I'd love to speak to. The Asian boy from Christ College School who was walking Ms. Bowen home. Gareth came across him the very first time he walked to Ms. Bowen's house. He remembers closing the door on this guy before going in for a cigarette and a cup of tea. After that, he never saw that kid again. So what I need you to do is to sit down and think about any identifying features, anything you can remember about him. Just put it into words. So I get a friend to post on one of the biggest alumni WhatsApp groups to see if anyone recognizes Gareth's description. And then we wait. It feels like a long shot. And honestly, I'm not really expecting anyone to respond. So I'm really surprised when a man eventually replies, saying he's the guy who regularly walked Ms. Bowen home. And then he drops a bombshell. He says he was also involved sexually with Sally Ann Bowen, but he's not sure he wants to talk about it. Hi.

[Gareth]

Hello, Chloe. How you doing?

[Narrator]

I call Gareth to fill him in. And this particular bit of news, that a boy his own age in his year at school, had a relationship with Sally Ann Bowen. It hits him much harder than he's expecting. I know that it's. It's difficult for me to say to you, don't get caught up emotionally until we've confirmed it, because that's just. There's no point in saying that. And I can imagine you've already gotten that in your head.

[Gareth]

Well, whatever he says, I just wanted to express the fact that I'm in very mixed up place for the last two hours. To feel jealousy or to feel competitiveness with another 51 year old man 36 years later is an extremely confusing feeling for me. And my memories are being rewritten at the age of 51 because I didn't know certain things at the time. I'm slowly realizing that, like, yeah, I don't. I don't think she ever loved me.

[Narrator]

He's. He's a little bit.

[Gareth]

He's still working me out.

[Narrator]

Yeah, I'm gonna put him in the car. After months of texting back and forth, debating whether or not to talk to me, the guy who walked Ms. Bowen home accepts an invitation to come around to mine for lunch. Should we have something to eat? Are you hungry?

[Sanjay]

Whatever.

[Narrator]

Whatever's clever. He's friendly and open, but he's clear he doesn't want us to use his real name, so we're calling him Sanjay.

[Sanjay]

I had earrings.

[Narrator]

I don't remember this, but it turns out I've met Sanjay before. He came to a house party I threw when I was 17. Back then we were all goths.

[Sanjay]

Yeah, I don't think I look like one because I. I think in my head, all goths were white kids and they were very pasty with very dark hair. So my hair was dark, my hair was long, but I didn't quite look the part, looked the same.

[Narrator]

We spent a while rewinding the clock and talking about a lot of the same bands we were into. And then the conversation turns to Gareth. Sanjay remembers him as a bit arrogant, a bit of a bully. And although there are common threads, Sanjay's experience is very different from Gareth's. So when did you sort of have any interaction with her? When did you start having any interaction with her?

[Sanjay]

Around about the age of 14, 15. So we're talking, what, 1988? Somehow I got involved in a small group of people that started going to a cafe at lunchtime with Ms. Bowen.

[Narrator]

The calf. The same one where Gareth says he had his first mind blowing experience over a Porno Mag with Ms. Bowen.

[Sanjay]

I guess that was when I got to know the guys that would be in the cafe more because we didn't really have that much social interaction otherwise.

[Narrator]

Who were they?

[Sanjay]

Just proper names for now.

[Narrator]

Yeah, we'll cut this bit out because.

[Sanjay]

We'Re not gonna name it.

[Narrator]

He tells me the name of two boys, names that have come up in my investigation. I've contacted both of them, but neither would agree to talk to me. There was also a third boy, Gareth. Sanjay says that he, Gareth and the other two would meet up regularly at the caf with Ms. Bowen. The incredible thing is Gareth has no memory whatsoever of sitting with Sanjay in the cafe, but Sanjay remembers him being there, at least for some of the time. And what did you talk about when you would all hang out there?

[Sanjay]

I don't. I really don't know. I. At first, anyway, or general conversation, I can't really remember.

[Narrator]

He says that after a while, those lunch break chats with Ms. Bowen in the cafe change in tone. The other boys, who are all much wilder and more confident than Sanjay, they start pushing boundaries and finding that there isn't much resistance.

[Sanjay]

They would be much more flirtatious, particularly with Ms. Bowen. They were a little bit more crude or rude with the sort of things they were coming up with. And I just sat there and I was part of it.

[Narrator]

Sanjay remembers the boys having porno mags in the cafe. And he says Ms. Bowen flicks through the pages while they ask her which of the models she looks like when she's naked. Just like Gareth. Sanjay's mind is a bit blown by this explicit sexual conversation with a grown woman, but he's shy and confused. About it all. And then what happened?

[Sanjay]

I think it's fair to say things started getting a little bit more inappropriate. So I was egged on by the others to give her a kiss. So I'd kiss her. I was egged on to touch her.

[Narrator]

When you say kiss, are we talking about a peck on the lips or are we talking about a snob?

[Sanjay]

Just a kiss on the lips and it made me feel amazing. But at the same time I felt a bit embarrassed and she wouldn't stop it from happening.

[Narrator]

And then when you said, touch her.

[Sanjay]

Yeah. So there was touching in inappropriate places.

[Narrator]

Where does that mean? Breasts? Between the legs.

[Sanjay]

Both. I put my hand between her legs, on her lap.

[Narrator]

In the cafe.

[Sanjay]

In the cafe.

[Narrator]

And I'm trying to understand how, like, they would say to you, go on, touch her. And then you would. Fondly.

[Sanjay]

Yeah. So it was a suggestion that one of the lads in particular would have had and he would have done it himself to show me what I need to do. I grabbed her breasts on one occasion and just held them. I didn't do anything more than that.

[Narrator]

The leader of the group is the first to act. He's the first to touch Ms. Bowen. And then Sanjay says he encourages him to do the same. This guy didn't want to engage with me and I'm not going to name him here. To be clear, Sanjay says Ms. Bowen's allowing them to touch her on multiple occasions. And this isn't in some secret location. It's all happening at the cafe very near the upper school building. Were there other people around?

[Sanjay]

There were staff. Were there. There would have been other people at other tables. Again, when you look back at it, I can't imagine what that would have looked like or what that would have seemed like to other people. Sat at other tables having their lunches or cup of tea or whatever. No one really told us to stop. No one told us ever to get out. No one ever came past the table and made any comments. We just sat there and this sort of stuff used to happen.

[Narrator]

The cafe would have been busy and Ms. Bowen apparently often sat with her back to the counter. And so this wouldn't have been easy for the cafe staff to see. Sanjay says he can't be sure how many times they meet like this with Ms. Bowen, but he thinks it's several times over a period of a few weeks, by which point they've clearly crossed a line.

[Sanjay]

Well, certainly from my own perspective, I'd already gotten to a place where I. I started becoming quite infatuated by her, just like Gareth.

[Narrator]

Sanjay feels drawn in by her, by the fact that he says she's allowing him to touch her and kiss her. But the really big difference is that Sanjay isn't alone with her. It's a shared experience between a group of boys. What he does have that feels more special is what happens after school. Ms. Bowen lets Sanjay walk. Walk her home. And when they get to her place, he says she lets him kiss her goodbye. Then one afternoon, she tells him she's having a fireworks party in a couple of days. Would he like to come round? He thinks it might just be him she's inviting.

[Sanjay]

And I can't be sure whether the other guys from the cafe were as well. But it felt to me that that was an invitation for me to go around to hers.

[Narrator]

When the evening comes, he changes his mind and he stands her up.

[Sanjay]

I think I ended up at my mate's house instead. And I remember thinking most of that evening just sitting there going, I should have gone to Ms. Bowen's house. If I went there, then maybe I would have got more than just a kiss on the lips.

[Narrator]

For ages afterwards, he feels he's chickened out of something that could have been important for him. And then years later, when he hears on the grapevine that Gareth's been badly damaged by his experience, he looks back and wonders whether this was a sliding doors moment. That if he'd gone to her house that night, he could have ended up somewhere like Gareth. After that. Missed fireworks pass, he stops walking her home. And the meetings in the cafe, they stop soon after that too.

[Sanjay]

And when she left school, it was very much a case of one day she was there, the next day there was a rumor, the day after that she was gone.

[Narrator]

What was the rumor?

[Sanjay]

That she'd slept with Gareth.

[Gareth]

Hello.

[Narrator]

Hi.

[Gareth]

How you doing?

[Narrator]

Okay. You got your recorder?

[Gareth]

Yeah, always.

[Narrator]

So Gareth's been waiting with bated breath to hear what Sanjay's story is. What he's hoping is that Sanjay can corroborate the fact that he went into Ms. Bowen's house. But Sanjay doesn't remember Gareth being with them when he walked her home. None of it matches in the way Gareth's hoping, and he's really upset about it.

[Gareth]

All I can say to that, this is my response to it. Don't remember any of that in the cafe at all. Being a regular thing at all. And I mean at all.

[Narrator]

When you stop and think about it, it's not so surprising that Sanjay and Gareth's stories don't align. Remember, all this happened 35 years ago. Our brains can't possibly retain everything that happens. Our memory filters out things that don't feel that significant to us. The experiences. Gareth says he had one on one with Ms. Bowen in that cafe. They were so huge and life changing that they're the bits he says are clear. A couple of days later, when he's had a chance to process it all, Gareth calls me back.

[Gareth]

The only thing that I would say I'm surprised and sort of disappointed in my own reaction is that I found it like, very unsettling. It's like finding your first girlfriend, which was kissing all the other boys behind your back. And I think there was resistance from me to listen to. Like, I don't really want to hear that, but I mean, I don't doubt what he says. It's too similar to my experience for him to make it up. Yeah, that's the. That's the truth. It's too similar.

[Narrator]

If you're going to make something up, you don't put it in a cafe with loads of witnesses. You make something up where you're alone with somebody.

[Gareth]

Yeah. And the thing is, it's too weird.

[Narrator]

As well, this idea that he was touching her up in front of all these other people.

[Gareth]

Yeah, very odd. But then the truth is odd, isn't it? That's the problem with like, the truth. It always is odd. It's not like it doesn't.

[Narrator]

It doesn't run in a straight line.

[Gareth]

That's right.

[Narrator]

There's no satisfying, neat story here where one man's memories mirror the others. But what there is is a clear theme that runs through both of their accounts. That Ms. Bowen engaged in sexual activity with them. I've tried very hard to persuade Sally Anne Bowen to talk to me, but she hasn't responded to any of my letters or emails. The final email I send her sets out in detail all the allegations I've uncovered over the last year. I only know she's seen it because her partner sends me a very angry email. But Sally Ann Bowen never replies. And what about the school? After the TRA reached its finding, Christ College didn't make any kind of public acknowledgement of the fact that their regulatory body had banned Sally Ann Bowen from teaching and had found Gareth's allegations to be credible. Still, I was hoping the current headteacher might be willing to hear me out about everything I uncovered. The three cases, Gareth, Sanjay and the cricketer, in which one of their staff staff had allegedly engaged in sexual activity with pupils, as well as all the witnesses who claimed to have seen and heard Sally Ann Bowen's inappropriate behaviour with students. In other schools where historical sex abuse has been uncovered, victims have received acknowledgement and apologies that back then the institution failed those pupils, even if today it's different and safeguarding's taken more seriously. I tried numerous times to get in touch with the current administration at Christ College. When eventually I managed to speak to someone, I was told in no uncertain terms that the school would not be engaging with me on any level. Both Gareth and Sanjay have come to feel that what happened to them wasn't right. That's what's propelled them to speak to me. They also have something else in common. They've both chosen to remain anonymous, not because they're ashamed of what happened to them, but because they're pretty sure they'll attract a lot of criticism from people who still see them as lucky boys. Since I started reporting this story, it feels like there are more and more newspaper articles about female teachers having sex with their students. Perhaps because I'm looking for them. I found at least a dozen cases reported in the UK last year alone, the most notorious being that of Rebecca Joynes, who was convicted for having sex with two 15 year old boys from the school where she taught and ended up giving birth to a baby fathered by the child she was having sex with. Her victim's experience and Gareth's are separated by more than three decades, but they're so similar that it sent chills down my spine. In a victim statement read out after Rebecca Joins was sentenced, the boy said he initially struggled to come to terms with his abuse and was in complete denial. He said I would argue until I was blue in the face protecting her and would not hear a bad word said against her. I felt as though I'd betrayed someone, somebody I love and had done wrong by giving evidence. It took him years to realize he'd been coerced, controlled and manipulated by his teacher, he said. And he describes how the entire affair and the lies he told destroyed his family.

[Gareth]

I read there was an article today as well in the Daily Mail. It didn't set me off well for the day, I have to say, but it was an article about a 21 year old being with a 16 year old boy. I went stupidly. I went through there. 238 Comments and it was just the succession really of like the usual shit. When I was 16 this would have been a dream. I bet the boy thinks he has won the lottery. Legal bet the lad is having a great time and learning. It just goes to show that like the attitude of Society to towards this kind of like thing is like she can even help him with his GCSE resets. Lucky Boy.

[Narrator]

The way these stories are reported is very different. When the perpetrator's a man, he's a sicko, a predator. If the offender's a woman, she's sex mad and sex addicted, followed by long descriptions about how attractive she is. And always there's an assumption that sex for teenage boys is an achievement. And most of all the idea that boys are somehow immune to emotional harm. Gareth now believes he was hurt by his relationship with Ms. Bowen, but also hurt by the COVID up that came after and continued into his adulthood. What's been harder and taken longer for him to recognize and then finally sever is the emotional hold Ms. Bowen had over him.

[Gareth]

I was thinking about that the other day as well, that how, how I would feel if, you know, I was still quiet. I'd heard nothing and then I heard a documentary saying actually at Christ College. I think that would have a part of it breaking the spell. Her spell is not being special. I think if I had, if I was in that position and I heard this podcast, so I think I would come forward at that stage. It might take me a couple of months, but I think think I would come forward. So I think if there are others, I think they will come forward. I do believe that.

[Narrator]

If you have any more information about the story or if you just want to get in touch with us about your own experience, you can write to [e-mail] in the past, Sally Ann Bowens denied that she had any kind of sexual contact with Gareth or any other boy. Lucky Boy is reported by me, Chloe Hajimathe. The producer is Garry Marshall. Additional production from Rebecca Moore. Sound design is by Hannah Varrell. Original music by Tom Kinsella. Podcast artwork by Lola Williams. The voice actors are Carys Pentecost, Jasper Corbett, Matt Russell and Katie Gunning. The AI voice cloning was from 11 labs and the executive producer was Basha Cummings. Special thanks to Kavit, Vita Puri, Tom Wright, Xanthi Mallet, Peter Garsden, Keith Oddie and Alex Renton. If you or someone you know has experienced the issues covered in this episode, there are places you can reach out to. If you have any concerns about a child. Then you can contact the NSPCC's helpline by calling 0808 800-5000 or emailing helpspcc.org.uk or visiting their website. Children can contact Childline and talk to an impartial counsellor. No concern is too big or small to discuss. Simply call 08001111 or visit their website for a one to one chat. For general concerns or talk, adults can contact The Samaritans on 116123 or email jomarit samaritans.org that's joamaritans.org Tortoise to get people excited about Boost Mobile's new nationwide 5G network, we're offering unlimited talk, text and data for $25 a month. Forever. Even if you have a baby. Even if your baby has a baby. Even if you grow old and wrinkly and you start repeating yourself. Even if you start repeating yourself, Even if you're on your deathbed and you need to make one last call or text, right? Or text the long lost son you abandoned at birth, you'll still get unlimited talk, text and Data for just $25 a month. With Boost Mobile forever after 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the Boost Unlimited plan.

[Chloe Hajimathe]

Forever.

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[Gareth]

Huh?

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Turns out you can love a work management platform. Monday.com, the first work platform you'll love to use. I know I'm not alone when I say adulting can be overwhelming. And what we all could use is a drink. That's where Apple and Eve juice comes comes in as the rulers of the juice box. They've been making juice joyful for 50 years with refreshing juice blends bursting with bold flavor. One sip sends you right back to childhood. So when the grind dulls your shine, remember to kid yourself. Apple and Eve has delicious juices for at home and on the go shop today.

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