“We cannot, when we’re healing trauma, be in any spaces, relationships, or situations that parallel that trauma.”

In this episode, we’re diving into our “Somatics Of” series with the somatics of receiving and why it’s important to allow support when we’re working to make the impossible happen. This is a practice that came to be while I was shopping for a camper and in need of support from the men in my life, all while I still had a deep fear and distrust of men from past relationship trauma. I knew that the men helping me with the camper were safe, so I took it as an opportunity to practice holding myself differently so that my body and being could learn I was safe. In this conversation, we’ll go deep into what it looks like energetically and somatically to feel safe when asking for and receiving support.

Listen to our episode on learning to let life support you with four critical types of trust.

Grab a copy of our book, Cultivating Confidence: Live Life Fully Expressed, to develop more steadiness in yourself.

What to listen for:

This concept and idea came from my own trauma
My trauma around trusting men was forced to be healed
At some point, we have to face the thing that scares us
Noticing how I held my body when I asked for support
Practicing the somatics of receiving while camper shopping

“I started practicing the somatics of receiving. Reception is openness. Receiving is a very feminine energy, so there is softness. There is an opening. Think about receiving. You’re bringing something in. You’re taking something in. You’re receiving it. So in order to receive it, you must open. You must put out your hand, open your arms, and be soft. Because when we’re not soft and open, we’re usually rigid, tense, and tight. We’re pushing things away.”

Trust is a frequency that we must embody
Why we say ‘no’ to support that we actually want
Addressing the trauma and wounding from our past
Regular anxiety vs. complex anxiety rooted in experience
The crucial part of pushing edges that we cannot miss

“When we put ourselves in these situations, we’re pushing an edge, even just by sticking a toe in. So we have to make sure that, in an effort to heal and change our state around something, we’re doing it in safe spaces. That means I didn’t practice this with toxic, abusive, exes, friends, or family members. I practiced this with people that I knew were safe. And I practiced it outside of the relationship container that was most traumatic for me.”

How this work helped me create a beautiful partnership
Healing the roots of what makes support scary
We can’t heal in spaces that parallel our trauma
Tapping into the energetics of safety and trust
Finding points of reference to model those somatics