Carelessly Unshakable and the Super Power of Silence - E-188

Summary

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Makes Sense with Dr. JC Doornick ("The Dragon")

Episode 188: Carelessly Unshakable and the Super Power of Silence

Date: July 17, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this deeply reflective episode, Dr. JC Doornick, also known as "The Dragon," explores what it truly means to be unshakable, especially when facing profound personal challenges such as a cancer diagnosis. Rather than advocating for mental “toughness” or emotional suppression, Dr. Doornick proposes that real resilience comes from caring less about what doesn’t serve us and mastering the art of intentional attention and silence. Using personal anecdotes, expert philosophies, and actionable systems—including his own Interface Response System (IRS)—he challenges listeners to reclaim their control, become the architects of their environments, and discover the superpower of silence.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Rethinking Unshakability: Not About Toughness

• Opening Thought (01:29):
  • Dr. Doornick challenges the conventional notion of becoming “unshakable” through mental strength:

    "What if becoming unshakable had nothing to do with becoming mentally stronger?... What if it was about carrying less?"
    [01:32]

  • He notes how modern society encourages us to live on autopilot, shaped by external noise, leading to reactive living—what he terms “sleepwalking mode.”

    “The world that we live in has been doing most of the thinking for you… shaped by unsolicited outside noise.”
    [02:06]

The Power of Morning Rituals and Planting Seeds

• Inspired by Napoleon Hill, Dr. Doornick stresses the importance of the first words we say each morning:

  “The first words... are not just sounds. They're seeds.”
  [04:02]

  • His personal practice upon waking:

    “When I go from eyes closed to eyes open… I always like to say thank you. I've kind of programmed myself to say thank you no matter what's going on.”
    [04:22]

• He shares a tapping and affirmation ritual, inspired by Jessica Ortner, which he uses to start and end his day:

  “Every single cell inside my body, every single cell is happy and well...”
  [05:15]

Affirmations, Pain, and Practicing (Not Suppressing)

• Dr. Doornick explains that his positive outlook during cancer is not a mask or emotional suppression—it's a practiced response honed over years:

  “The reality is, is that I'm simply practicing… training the stuff that I have been teaching and doing for years and years and years.”
  [08:41]

  • Adversity, he says, merely tests an existing philosophy:

    “This diagnosis didn't give me a new philosophy… it tested the one that I already had.”
    [09:44]

  • He emphasizes the value of not allowing the “storm” to become part of his identity:

    “I'm not a storm. I'm living in the eye of the storm. But I'm not the storm.”
    [10:12] “Nothing became lighter. I simply stopped carrying in my life what wasn’t mine.”
    [10:44]

Outsourcing Our Nervous System & Becoming Puppets

• Explains how easily we allow external events, comments, and opinions to control our state:

  “Every headline, every opinion, every rude comment... every diagnosis pulls another string of that puppeteering.”
  [11:31]

  • Urges listeners to recognize when they’re “dancing to music [they] never chose” and to stop “outsourcing [their] nervous system to the outside world.”
    [12:10]

The True Nature of Indifference

• Highlights Napoleon Hill’s view on indifference—not as being cold, but as emotional discipline:

  “Indifference isn’t a cold or selfish word. It’s not becoming emotionally dead. In fact, indifference is becoming emotionally disciplined.”
  [13:15]

  • Encourages listeners to “choose what and who deserves your attention before life chooses it for you.”
    [13:44]

Attention as Emotional Currency

• Dr. Doornick likens attention to spending currency:

  “Think of your attention like currency. Every emotional reaction… is like a purchase.”
  [15:44]

  • Warns that spending energy (“currency”) carelessly leads to emotional bankruptcy, with little left for what truly matters:

    “You could be emptying your currency wallet on things that don’t deserve your care.”
    [17:11]

  • Cancer clarified this lesson for him:

    “Cancer has made me crystal clear… Every ounce of energy matters. Every thought matters.”
    [17:53]

The Interface Response System (IRS) - 4 Steps to Reclaim Control

• Step 1: Perceive
  • Notice what happened—“Not you, not how you're responding. Notice what's being offered to you. It’s just a perception.”
    [19:42]
• Step 2: Pause
  • Introduce a 3-second curious pause to break autopilot, loosen “puppet strings”:

  “Just for like three seconds… the puppet strings begin to lose their grip.”
  [20:31]

• Step 3: Process
  • Ask better questions:
    • “What else might be true?”
    • “Will this matter five years from now?”
    • “Does this move me towards or away from the outcome that I am architecting right now?”
    • “Can I actually influence this, or am I just shoveling fog?”
      [21:06]
  • On futile worry:

    “Try to shovel fog… you’ll be exhausted and you’ll get nowhere.”
    [21:36]

• Step 4: Proceed
  • Respond intentionally (“in alignment with things and the people that matter most”)—or don’t respond at all.

  “Did you know that’s an option—to not respond at all?”
  [22:21]

Detachment vs. Suppression

• Powerful distinction:

  “Suppression says, I'm not angry, while anger quietly fills the room… Detachment is, I acknowledge the anger… and simply refuse to hand them the steering wheel.”
  [23:33]

• On fear:

  “It’s not true that I’m fearless. Fear knocks me every day. I get knuckle sandwiches by fear every day.”
  [24:32] “I notice the fear… but I decide whether fear gets any voting rights in my day.”
  [25:23]

Rejecting Society's Script (“The Sick Role”)

• On cancer and societal expectations:

  “Society unknowingly hands us a script… This is how cancer patients act and how they're supposed to feel. ... I’m not interested in performing someone else’s script. Are you? I’m interested in authoring my own.”
  [26:09]

Adapting Like Water

• Drawing wisdom from Bruce Lee:

  “Water never argues with rock… Eventually, the rocks are the things that change, not the river.”
  [27:03]

  • Advocates for fluidity over rigidity—the “strongest people… were fluid, like water.”
    [27:53]

The Super Power of Silence

• Clarifies the strength in silence:

  “Weak people often mistake silence as a weakness… Powerful people understand that silence is actually leverage.”
  [28:10]

  • Warns about “announcing instead of accomplishing” and the “dopamine hit” from talking vs. doing:

    “Work so quietly that your success becomes the loudest thing about you.”
    [29:49]

Unshakability: A Daily Practice

• Notes that resilience isn’t summoned in crisis, it’s trained before crisis:

  “People think that mental toughness appears during crisis. No, crisis reveals the training required for mental toughness.”
  [31:41]

  • The importance of keeping promises to oneself:

    “Every completed promise tells your subconscious, I’m somebody that follows through. And remember, confidence isn't positive thinking. Confidence is evidence.”
    [33:11]

Three Practical Takeaways

1. The Five-Year Rule:

   “When something upsets you, ask, will this matter five years from now? If no, don't even spend five minutes on it.”
   [31:59]

2. Architect Your Environment:
   • Design surroundings to support your goals:

     “Don't rely on willpower. Design better defaults... Choose relationships that water your roots, not your weeds.”
     [32:25]

3. Follow Through on Small Promises:
   • Builds authentic confidence through evidence, not just positive thought.

     “Confidence is evidence.”
     [33:55]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On mental fortitude:

  “I stopped carrying things in my life and people that were not mine to carry.”
  [10:46]

• On attention as currency:

  “I just want to make sure I give [my currency] to my wife and my daughter. Or a project that I'm working on. Not that.”
  [16:59]

• On silence:

  “The dragon doesn’t announce every move. He simply flies.”
  [30:03]

• On the power of environment:

  “Environment is stronger than motivation every time.”
  [33:01]

• On peace through intentionality:

  “I'm strangely peaceful right now… Not because life got easier, but because my attention became very intentional.”
  [34:45]

• On living with purpose:

  “Today I am the architect of my terrain instead of the reactor of my weather.”
  [35:10]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:29 – Episode theme and challenge to conventional mental strength
• 04:02 – Morning rituals: planting seeds with “thank you”
• 05:15 – Tapping & affirmation practice
• 08:41 – Positive outlook and emotional practice, not suppression
• 10:12 – Living in the eye of the storm
• 11:31 – On “puppet strings” and outside control
• 13:15 – Indifference as emotional discipline
• 15:44 – Attention as currency and the cost of emotional reactions
• 19:42 – The Interface Response System (IRS) explained
• 21:36 – The futility of “shoveling fog”
• 22:21 – Option of non-response
• 23:33 – Detachment vs. suppression
• 24:32 – Living with fear, not in fear
• 26:09 – Rejecting society’s “sick role” scripting
• 27:53 – Strength through adaptation and being fluid
• 28:10 – The superpower of silence
• 31:41 – Preparing for challenge before it arrives
• 31:59 – The Five-Year Rule
• 32:25 – Architecting supportive environments
• 33:55 – Building confidence through evidence
• 34:45 – “Strangely peaceful” intentional living
• 35:10 – Architect of your terrain, not reactor to your weather

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Final Reflections

Dr. JC Doornick’s episode serves as a roadmap for emotional resilience and intentional living. Through personal vulnerability and actionable systems, he invites listeners to question inherited beliefs, practice mindful detachment, restrict their “currency” to what truly matters, and embrace the power of silence. Ultimately, being "carelessly unshakable" is not about hardening oneself but about investing wisely, adapting fluidly, and living intentionally in the present.

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"Learning without action is just another form of distraction. If something hit home and you learn something today, give it away. That's the only way it's going to stay."
— Dr. JC Doornick, [35:29]

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

What if becoming unshakable had nothing to do with becoming mentally stronger? What if in fact, the secret wasn't building thicker skin? Because if you build thicker skin, you're making what it is you're protecting yourself from. Stronger. What if it wasn't about building thicker skin? What if it was about carrying less? Have you noticed that the world that we live in has been doing most of the thinking for you? That your beliefs, perceptions, reactions, fears and doubts have been shaped by unsolicited outside noise? How easy it's been for you to slip into that default sleep walking mode and label it as life and reality. Yeah, that ends here. Welcome to the make sense with Dr. JC podcast. This is your opportunity to start thinking for yourself, reclaim control, and step back into that role as the shock caller and dominant force of your own reality. It's when you change the way that you look at things that the things that you look at begin to change. So let's wake up, let's rise up, and let's make sense of why and how shift happens. Makes Sense. So today we're going to talk about training our minds to be carelessly unshakable. We're going to talk about the superpower of silence. A very, very great, great morning to all of you humans. Great morning world. For those of you that don't know, My name is Dr. J.C. dornick. I go by the name Dragon. I met a lot of new friends out in Boston that know know about the Dragon now. And I want to welcome you to the make sense with Dr. JC podcast as well as welcome you to the uprising of the sleepwalking masses. Larry said from YouTube. He says we should address their assigned by saying, I'm so excited to see you working through your. Not kidding about this. What a nice thing to say. The only problem is is that if. If the person that is going through the has taken the role of the victim, they will not like you for that. Right? So my take is that anytime somebody shares anything with me, I typically need to know more about it. So I just think the greatest answer for anything that anybody ever says is, huh? Because it's a curious sound. It's a pause, and it means I hear you, but I don't know everything yet. So. No, I like that. Like, Larry, you could say that to me. That would be great. I want to this topic now. So I heard Napoleon Hill say this the other day. The first words that come out of our mouth each morning are not just sounds. They're seeds. Now, what are the first words that come out of your mouth? Because right now, when I wake up in the morning, I always try to capture that first second. This is my secret, everybody. When I go from eyes closed to eyes open, when I go from offline to online, before I know anything outside of just waking up, I always like to say thank you. I've kind of programmed myself to say thank you no matter what's going on. Now I'm waking up and pretty quickly noticing that I'm in pain when I wake up because of what's going on. So it's become a little bit more of a challenge. But I still can say thank you. And the reason why I always encourage people to use those first two words and plant those first two seeds is you'll notice that thank you triggers your brain to say, for what are you thankful for? Your brain always needs to know. And that's where you'll start to say, a roof over my head, my lovely chicken. My wife is next to me. I'm alive. I have this opportunity and all of that stuff. So that's Why I do that. So I love that Napoleon Hill said, the first words that come out of your mouth in the morning are not just sounds, they're seeds. That prompted me. You know, I heard something. I had Jessica Ortner, from the tapping method, if you guys didn't hear, that episode, is fantastic. She's a New York Times bestselling author. She does this thing she has as an affirmation, but with tapping. And because of this Napoleon Hill quote, I started to do it myself. Now I've gotten caught doing it by my family. And I think they think I'm losing my mind. Because I. I don't just say what she says, and I do the tapping. I sing it. I heard her. A lot of people are doing this, and I. And I challenge all of you to write this down and maybe, you know, we'll have a transcript of this. But this is what I've been doing in addition, in the morning. And I also do this before I go to bed. I don't scroll before I go to bed. So it goes like this. I'm gonna sing it for you, right? Because I don't give a. It goes like this. So while you're tapping, like, above your eyebrows, below. And this is about planting seeds, pulling weeds and planting seeds. It goes. Every single cell inside my body Every single cell is happy and well I' so excited for every single cell Every single cell is happy and well so as I do that, I do the tapping method. I didn't just hear about it and read about it. I'm doing it because I've heard such great things about it. Now what do I get out of that? Anytime I feel like the voltage of my pain, my side pain or whatever you want to call it, I feel like I'm getting a little bit down or fearful or anything like that. I'm always looking to turn it around, and I use the interface response system. But now, with a smile on my face, I just sing that song. Every single cell inside my body Every single cell is happy and well, I'm so. And I do this with my hands. I go. I'm so excited that every single cell Every single cell is happy and. Well, now you might be listening to this. I mean, I get a lot of people that attack me, and they would love to use that one against me, probably call me a bunch of names, and I'm not sure I give a shit about that, but I'll tell you something, you just feel a little bit happier. And what's wrong with acknowledging that your body is. Is healing happy and, well, I love it. So let's get started here. I'd like to begin today's episode with a question. What if becoming mentally unshakable. Now, I've used the words unfuck withable, but today we're going to talk about being careless, unshakable. What if becoming mentally unshakable had absolutely nothing to do with becoming mentally stronger? What if becoming unshakable had nothing to do with becoming mentally stronger? What if in fact, the secret wasn't building thicker skin? Because if you build thicker skin, you're making what it is you're protecting yourself from stronger. What if it wasn't about building thicker skin? What if it was about carrying less over the last several weeks, it still happening right now. And once again, I want to say that I'm grateful for all the people that reach out and care, but I have just thousands and thousands of people asking, how are you so calm? How are you. So I listened to your podcast episode, how are you so calm? I met you in Boston. How are you so calm? How do you keep smiling and staying so positive while you have cancer? And I find it funny that I have to explain that, but the reason why I have to explain it is because it's so abnormal. And I like to be abnormal. Because normal is not really my goal. Ordinary is not really my goal versus extraordinary. But some people, I think what they're doing is digging to see if I'm suppressing emotion, if I'm pretending, right? Like an affirmation. You know, he's really in pain and he's really suffering. He's just using the power of affirmations and things like that. So they think I'm suppressing an emotion. Others think I'm putting on just like a brave face so that my family doesn't hurt and stuff like that. And I just want you to know that neither is true. The reality is, is that I'm simply practicing. And practicing is like training. I'm putting forth with practice and training the stuff that I have been teaching and doing for years and years and years. I'm watching and partaking, participating in my own interface response system from my book. I'm watching it operate in real time. And for those of you that follow the lives that I do on Monday, every now and then, we get very, very lucky and graced with, you know, a crazy, a FLO burglar that kind of attacks me. That's an opportunity for you to see it happen in real time, too. But you guys are having the opportunity to watch Me face what society would call a massive adversity, you know, that's associated with death and so much fear and all of that stuff and pain and discomfort and surgery and drugs and all of these outside forces. Right? You guys are getting to watch the interface response system happen in real time. That's. That's what I'm doing. So this diagnosis didn't give me a new philosophy. Think about that. When I got this diagnosis, I didn't adopt a new philosophy in life. I still have the same philosophy in life. What it did was it tested the one that I already had. So think about when you have a challenge in your life that just pops up unexpectedly, unwanted, unexpectedly, Is that giving you a new philosophy or is it just showing up to challenge the one that you already have? So today I want to show you exactly how I'm navigating through one of the biggest storms of my life without allowing the storm to become me. I'm not a storm. I'm living in the eye of the storm. But I'm not the storm. I'm the news reporter that's standing in the storm, still reporting. Because here's what I've discovered. Nothing became lighter. I simply stopped carrying in my life what wasn't mine. That's what I started to do before I got the diagnosis. I stopped carrying things in my life and people that were not mine to carry make sense. Let's look at this idea of human beings, all of us, living like puppets. So most people believe that life happens and emotions simply follow. Life happens, emotions follow, and we have no say. So I don't believe that anymore. My belief system is changing. And that's another benefit of going through tough times. I believe that most people have unknowingly become puppets. Now, if you find yourself right now a puppet in life, meaning outside forces are controlling you, it's not a bad thing. It's actually a good thing. That means that you can start from there. But think about it. Every headline, every opinion, every rude comment, every political debate, every social media post that you're going to look at today, every doctor's opinion. I'm going to get doctor's opinions today. They're all meeting on this board. Tell me surgery or treatment first. Every diagnosis pulls another string of that puppeteering. So I just want you to take note of that right now, because before long, we're dancing to music that we never chose. Every now and then, you might catch yourself dancing to music that you never chose or reacting instead of responding. You got to be able to catch yourself doing that you're never going to not have that happen uncontrollably, but you can learn how to catch yourself doing that. And what happens when that happens is that we're outsourcing our nervous system to the outside world. You got to catch yourself outsourcing your nervous system to the outside world. And once you catch yourself doing it and how frequently you do it, you can realize how exhausting it is. So Napoleon Hill once again touched on something extraordinary when he discussed a favorite topic of mine that we've recently talked about here called indifference. We had a whole episode on indifference. Napoleon Hill said, people misunderstand that the word indifference isn't a cold or selfish word. It's not becoming emotionally dead. In fact, indifference is becoming emotionally disciplined. See, the work of turning something around and seeing things the way you want, changing the way you look at things. So the things you look at change. That's work, but it needs repetition. And inserting the concept and the power of indifference and not caring about things that don't deserve your caring, that's about becoming emotionally disciplined. So it's choosing what and who deserves your attention before life chooses it for you. Now you go back to the morning, those. Those words that are not sounds but seeds. That's where it begins. That's why I say thank you, because it brings me to the present moment and it doesn't allow yesterday's program to boot up. That's a massive distinction. Let me make sure that you got that one. It's choosing what and who deserves your attention. Some people and things don't even deserve your attention because they're not yours to attend to. And you want to make sure that that happens before life chooses that stuff for you. So people often ask me, so you're saying nothing bothers you. Is that what you're saying? To me, it's. It's a challenge. It's a test when they say that. And my answer is absolutely not. Lots of things try to bother me. Something's trying to bother me right now, and that's this pain that I have in my back. It's there. I feel it. And it's not awesome. And it's trying to bother me right now. So a lot of things and people try to bother me, and they do as it, you know, I'm moving around and things like that, they do ruffle my feathers at first. Remember, this is all about making sure that you catch it. It's all about awareness. The pain that's associated with what I'm going through right now, it definitely Bothers me at first. And I've tested this, I've tested this so many times. The difference is it doesn't. They don't receive unlimited access to what I call my currency. Not currency, different type of currency. And as a reminder, think of your attention, because everybody's vying for your attention. Just like my back pain or just like somebody that says something to me or just a challenge in our life, right? They're vying for our attention. But think of your attention like currency. Every emotional reaction that we have, which is you reacting versus responding, is like a purchase. The average person, the average one of you and I, spends their currency because we have an allotted amount, like someone that's walking through a casino. We don't decide where we're going to spend it if we're in a reactive mode. So impulse purchase after impulse purchase until they're emotionally bankrupt by noon. I think a big reason, if I ever catch myself really, really down and depressed or sad and just burnt out in the afternoon, sometimes I make an assessment that I've. I blew my currency for the day. And I start to say, what did I care about today that I didn't need to. Where was I careless with what I cared about today? So meanwhile, they wonder why they have no energy left for people that they actually love. So if you're somebody that is realizing that you're not necessarily living your life around what matters most, like you have other things to attend to first. There's a good chance you're emptying your currency wallet on things that don't deserve your care. And maybe you could just, you need to get like a financial advisor or something. Maybe it'll be me to just determine where you're gonna, where you're gonna dedicate your currency. So cancer has made me crystal clear. Every ounce of energy matters. That's what cancer has made me realize. Cancer's made me realize about the limited nature of my currency. Every single ounce of energy matters. Every thought matters. I have to be very, very careful what thoughts I allow in. I'll give you the instance, this back pain. If I allow this back pain, it's not like I can't feel it, but if I allow it to take some of my currency, it's going to take my currency away from something else that needs it. I can't do anything about this, so why should I care about it? I hope that makes sense. Every emotional investment matters. So I asked myself constantly, is this worth some of my limited currency? So very often when somebody attacks me and says something, you know, not so nice to me or something like that. I very often will say, I'm so sorry. But I'm not sure I care about that, right. So what I'm saying is, is like I'm looking in my wallet and I see the amount of currency that I have left and I just want to make sure I give it to my wife and my daughter. Or a project that I'm working on. Not that. So I can look at the pain. Or a flow burglar. I always find it funny how somebody that doesn't even know you can just come into your life and give you some shit and you somehow care about it. Just remember that if you spend your currency there, you're taking it away. So in the new book, you're going to love this. There's a whole workbook for currency. And it's going to be a game changer.

[A]

When you're a maintenance engineer in a beverage manufacturing plant, you keep production lines moving and quality on track. Because there is no room for slowdowns. With Grainger's vast selection of high, high quality motors, sensors, belts and hard to find parts, you can get what you need fast and all in one place. So nothing gets in the way of getting the job done. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click granger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

[B]

So like I said, I asked myself, is this worth some of my limited currency? And if the answer is no, what I do is I just. Just like in a grocery store or in a shopping mall, I don't buy it. It's still there on the rack, but it's not mine. You know, sometimes it's fun to mimic Austin Powers and so that's not mine, babe. That's not my bag, baby. Make sense. So here's where the IRS comes in. So the interface response system is this four step response system. And it's the most valuable thing that I've ever created. And that's what you'll get in my book. So if you want to pick up my book makes sense. How to rewire your mind and transform your life. And it's all about building up to teaching you and sharing this interface response system. So this is where it becomes real. Not theoretical, but real. So step one, perceive. We're looking at becoming carelessly indifferent to things. That's what we're talking about. Step one is perceive. Notice what just happened. You don't want to avoid and just pretend something just happened. And I'll use my back pain, right. Notice what just Happened. Ow. But don't notice it outside. Take note of how you respond to it. Like I feel it hurts. I don't like it. My heart rate, you know, my stomach, things like that. My jaw clenches or anything like that. Take note of that. In my book. Makes sense. I talk about the VR suit. The VR suit is this program suit that we have that senses things. It's your sense making machine. Take note of how the VR suit is reacting to the back pain. Oh, you need that sense making sheen. Not you. Here's what's important. Not you. Not how you're responding. Notice what's being offered to you. It's just a perception. It doesn't mean that it's yours. Yet you can observe without participating. Notice what all these things are doing. Thoughts, feelings. Remember you have 40 to 70,000 thoughts a day. How can you tell me that they're all you? How can this pain be a guaranteed part of me? I think about that and the operating system that I have is what is running and making those perceptions. So that's what perceive is first step is I just say what is my current operating system and sense making machine telling me about this? Telling me about this. I'm not. I'm not saying what do I think about? That's a big distinction. The second step is the pause. So after I do that, I go feeling it, thinking about it, all that stuff. Just for like three seconds. That's all. Three seconds where you get curious and interrupt the autopilot. That's happening in three seconds. The puppet strings. You'll notice the puppet string. Like I might start singing the every single cell inside my. I can do whatever I want. But you'll notice that the puppet strings begin to lose their grip. Why? Because you're reclaiming control. Remember, we always have a choice. We just forget. So the puppet strings start to lose their grip and you're giving them just enough time to lose their grip to allow yourself to do what comes next. And that is the third step of the interface response system. And that is to process. So now what we can do in that curious state with a little bit of a loosening of the puppet strings, claiming a little bit of control as a shot caller. We ask better questions. You got to do this before you can ask better questions. What else might be true? Jc? Will this matter five years from now? Does this move me towards or away from the outcome that I am architecting right now? What is the outcome that you are in? Architecting nature. What are you trying to create? Can you see how you could always ask, is this in service to that? I'm not asking you if it's making it harder. I'm saying, is it in service to that? It's pretty easy to say no. Can I actually influence this? That's another great question. Or am I just what I say? Shoveling fog. Try to shovel fog. The next time you see fog outside, go outside with a shovel and try to shovel it. You'll be exhausted and you'll get nowhere. It's like trying to mop the ocean. And by the way, the fog won't care in the least that you're exhausted from trying to shovel it. So finally, I'm in this place where I've run the sorting filter that's part of the book, and I know what matters, what doesn't. Can I influence it or not? I'm not going to shovel fog. Like, my back pain right now. Like, I could move around a little bit, but it's not me. It's not me. It's there, but I'm just not going to go into my wallet and give it my currency. If you can do this, this is one of the most powerful things you could ever do. And then the step four is proceed. Respond versus react. Respond intentionally in alignment with the things and the people that matter most to you at this time, or don't respond at all. Did you know that that's an option to not respond at all? This is an interesting thing. When somebody approaches you or something happens, we kind of get this weird feeling like we're supposed to respond or at least give some sort of response. Says who? When somebody in an unsolicited situation says something to you or offers you some. You know, Wayne Dyer used to say that if you offer somebody a gift and they say, no, who does the gift belong to? You. The giver doesn't get to experience the joy of giving if the receiver doesn't receive. Right? So I kind of look at that sometimes and I. I say, you know, like, I didn't ask for this. You know, I have people texting and emailing me all day long without knowing it, telling me that they have a protocol and advice for me. And without knowing it, they're saying, they say, you'll be happy that you spoke to me. Not asking if I'm all set and if I've already designed on something that I. That I'm aligned with. That's what my real friends do, you know, so that stuff's happening all the time. So I have to work this stuff all the time. And sometimes I Just don't even respond. And if the person is giving me this gift and they don't get a response from me and it pisses them off, why were they giving me the gift? Was it to help me or was it about their identity or their value in life and stuff? It's an interesting game, isn't it? Isn't this an interesting game? So here's where many people get confused. It's this concept of detachment. Detachment isn't pretending that we don't care. So there's a difference between detachment and suppression. Suppression says, I'm not angry, while anger quietly fills the room until eventually it blows the roof off. That's what suppression is. However, detachment. If you can make this distinction, this is a big win. Detachment is, I acknowledge the anger, I acknowledge the thoughts and feelings, and I simply refuse to hand them the steering wheel. That's a choice. Suppression is, I'm not even going to acknowledge that. Detachment is acknowledging it and saying, I see it, I feel it. I understand what you're saying. No steering wheel, huge difference. People keep telling me, jc, you seem fearless. This is not true. This is not true that I'm fearless. Fear knocks me every day. I get knuckle sandwiches by fear every day. And it's still very much in the room. It's in the room right now. Fear. I'm not suppressing fear. I just don't invite it in for coffee. I notice it sometimes. I'll talk to my wife about it rather than say, just snap at her and I'll just say, here's how I'm feeling right now. I'm a little scared right now. And we'll talk about it. And then I'll make a decision whether or not I want to invite it in for coffee. So I noticed the fear. My sense making machine, my VR suit, like I said before, experiences the fear. But I decide whether the fear gets any voting rights in my day. So this distinction changed everything for me. The diagnosis happened to my body. That's why I was so into that. Weeds and seeds and stuff like that. I'm not my body. Only the diagnosis happened to my body. The diagnosis happened in my circumstances. It did not happen to my identity. And it didn't give me a new philosophy in life because that I have a say in. No outside force has a say in that. So that's why I refuse to step into what sociology calls the sick role. And this is an interesting thing, the whole sick role. Society unknowingly hands us a script. This is how cancer patients act and how they're supposed to feel. That's why people are so weirded out when I have a positive response when they say, how are you doing? How are you doing? This is how we're supposed to speak when we have cancer. Society gives that. I'm not interested in performing someone else's script, Are you? I'm interested in authoring my own. I'm an author. Bruce Lee used to say that we must flow like water. We got to flow through life like water. Water never argues with Roc. Have you ever seen an argument between water and a rock? It just simply moves. It adapts eventually. In fact, this is what's so crazy about this relationship between water and rocks. Eventually, the rocks are the things that change. Not the water, not the river. Rocks become smoother, and they erode. So who's in control of that relationship? And remember, this resistance is what creates friction. Adaptation creates flow. So that's what water does. It doesn't resist. It adapts. So another big part of this whole thing is adaptation. And the strongest people that I've ever met. I think part of my goal is I want to be one of those people for my kids, for the people that matter most. Maybe that's part of my legacy. The strongest people that I've ever met weren't rigid. They were fluid, like water. So I told you, why don't I talk about silence? So one of the things that I've become increasingly fascinated by is allowing myself and permitting myself to be silent. Weak people often mistake silence as a weakness. What, you have nothing to say? Oh, God. So you're just not going to say anything? Powerful people understand that silence is actually leverage. The loudest person in the room, which I used to be in all aspects, the loudest person in the room usually is not the strongest. They're often the most uncertain, which is why they're the loudest. Validation can become an addiction. And I can tell you I was addicted to validation when I always wanted to be right. So we've built an entire culture, and we live in that culture around announcing instead of accomplishing. Why do we have to announce rather than just accomplish and then announce? Everybody wants to tell people that they're going to lose weight, start a business, write a book, change the world. Why do they do that? Because talking provides a tiny dopamine hit that provides an illusion and mimics a sense of achievement. That's the difference between talking and walking. Right? People talk about it, but they don't always walk about it, because it gives an illusion and it mimics this sense of achievement. Meanwhile, nothing has actually happened. When we talk, here's what I've learned. Work quietly. This is why silence is so powerful. Work quietly. Build things privately, heal privately, and then let reality, this force of reality, introduce your new reality to the world. Why do you have to announce? And I catch myself doing that all the time. I've always loved this quote, work so quietly that your success becomes the loudest thing about you. And then I wrote, the dragon doesn't announce every move. He simply flies. And I'm the furthest thing from perfect. And maybe this is, in part me affirming some things that I want more of in my life. These are things that have saved my life, and that's why I'm kind of sharing them, paying them forward. So becoming unshakable, by the way, is a daily thing. It's daily training. Like, I got to go to the gym today. And I'm. I've been. I've been in a lot of pain, but I'm gonna go to the gym. You know, maybe I'll do, like, a little video there or something like that, just to share. People think that mental toughness appears during crisis. No crisis reveals the training required for mental toughness. You don't become courageous during the fire. You discover whether courage was being built before the fire arrived. So the fire has arrived for me. And what I realize is that I have been building and training for it. So that helps me with the fear component. So here's a simple exercise that you guys can do. It's called the five year rule. When something upsets, you, ask, will this matter five years from now? Will this matter five years from now? If no, don't even spend five minutes on it, let alone five hours. Second, become the architect of your environment. You get to change this. James Clear in Atomic Habits talks a lot about your environment. It doesn't have to just be about health, right? All aspects of health. Become the architect of your environment. Don't rely on things like willpower. Design better defaults. Remove junk food before cravings. Turn off notifications before distractions. Protect your calendar before chaos ensues. Choose relationships that water your roots, not your weeds. Don't get into arguments with people that don't deserve your care. Environment is stronger than motivation. And that's what I think. I'm of the persuasion that environment is stronger than motivation every time. And then finally, keep promises to yourself, even the tiny ones, daily. Every completed promise that you make, every completed promise tells your subconscious, I'm somebody that follows through. And remember, confidence isn't positive thinking. Confidence is evidence. So people keep asking me what cancer has taught me, and I don't think cancer taught me anything about gratitude. I think what it did, just like any adversity, is it removed the distraction. It stripped away everything that was pretending to matter. It forced me to ask what actually deserves my currency. And once I answered that honestly, life became strangely peaceful. I'm strangely peaceful right now. I found myself in Boston, just not worrying. Everybody said, what time is this? What time is that? What time's that? And I would just say my favorite three words, I don't know, I'm not sure. And then they would say, is this? Is this? Is this? And I go. Maybe very strangely peaceful is what I became. Not because life got easier, by the way, but because my attention became very intentional. So I don't know what tomorrow brings. Just like you. None of us do. But I know this. I decide where my mind lives today. I refuse today to shovel fog. Today I am the architect of my terrain instead of the reactor of my weather. Weather can show up without permission, but I don't have to participate. So that is what we call becoming carelessly unshakable. That's what it really means. Not caring less about life, caring less about everything that steals you away from living that life. That's it for today. To support the make sense with Dr. JC podcast, be sure to subscribe, like and share, as well as follow the Makes Sense substack for free daily quotes, live streams and blogs. And remember, learning without action is just another form of distraction. If something hit home and you learn something today, give it away. That's the only way it's going to stay. See you next time. Makes sense. From taco night in Tulum to sushi in Tokyo, make every bite rewarding with gold from Amex. Wherever you dine four times. Membership rewards points at restaurants worldwide are piling up. Learn [e-mail] Explore Gold terms and points

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