← Makes Sense - with Dr. JC Doornick
Makes Sense - with Dr. JC Doornick
Want Nothing, Fear Nothing: The Power of Indifference - E-184
00:36:25
What if needing nothing made you invincible? Dr. JC breaks down strategic indifference, personal power, and the IRS Process. Listen now and take your CARRENCY back.
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The most powerful man in the world has zero power over a man who wants nothing from him. I realized that the greatest prison in the world isn't built with concrete. It's built with dependency. Makes sense. Have you noticed that the world that we live in has been doing most of the thinking for you? That your beliefs, perceptions, reactions, fears and doubts have been shaped by unsolicited outside outside noise? How easy it's been for you to slip into that default sleep walking mode and label it as life and reality. Yeah, that ends here. Welcome to the make sense with Dr. JC podcast. This is your opportunity to start thinking for yourself, reclaim control, and step back into that role as the shock caller and dominant force of your own reality. It's when you change the way that you look at things that the things that you look at begin to change. So let's wake up, let's rise up, and let's make sense of why and how shift happens. Makes sense. Great morning world. Great morning humans. Welcome to another edition of the make sense with Dr. J.C. podcast. I am your host, Dr. J.C. otherwise known as the Dragon, and I would like to welcome you to the uprising of the sleepwalking masses. Today's conversation is about this premise. Nobody can control someone who needs nothing from that person. So today's conversation is called the indifference of the invincible. The most powerful man in the world has zero power over a man who wants nothing from him. Try to absorb that. So this conversation today was motivated by a huge distinction. Once again, blessing. A huge distinction that I made when I first went through, grew through the shock and awe of learning that I had cancer. So you know that beginning knee jerk visceral reaction that we always have when something happens right in our programmed knee jerk response, you know, acknowledges it. After that, I found myself feeling very, very sad when I first found out. And I was crying, you know, and whenever I get emotional and cry, I always allow myself to ask myself why I am. It's Kind of funny because sometimes you can't figure it out, and that helps. So I found myself feeling very, very sad and emotional. But in that sorting filter process that I learned from my interface response system, I realized it had nothing to do with me and nothing to do with this catastrophized story of me, like, I'm gonna die sooner. It had nothing to do with that. It actually had to do with my family. That was where the sadness and the crying and the emotion was coming from. This was an interesting distinction. It had to do with my wife, my three kids. You know, my. I live here with my wife and my daughter right now. My boys are older. And this idea that I had failed them isn't that interesting. Once I got my diagnosis, my sadness came from this idea that I had failed my family. That's why I was crying. That's why I was upset, and I was letting them down. Now, that's guy stuff. That's me stuff. That's who I am. It's nothing more important. But isn't that interesting? So I felt it. I went through that and I ran my system and I paused. I said, and I always ask myself, what else might be true Dragon. After pausing and running that instance, that scenario through the interface response system, I realized something that I kind of, like, could see. All of a sudden, I couldn't see it before, and that was that I made it up. I made up this idea in my head that I had let my family down. Now, had I not made that distinction, I might have, like, turned that into, like, a reality, right? I realized that I made it up. I made up that story. I wasn't letting my family down. You know what it was? I caught myself being codependent on the idea that I have this role to achieve as their father and as her husband. And I was being graded by them. So that was the big distinction that I made. So let me ask you a question. Who owns you? Think about that for a minute. If one text message that you get today can ruin your day, if one comment online on your post or even somebody else's post can steal your confidence, if one boss, maybe your boss, can make you betray your own values and do something that you normally wouldn't do, if one relationship determines whether or not you're happy or miserable, when then those things, those forces, those people, they own a piece of you not because they're stronger than you. It's because you need something from them. That was that distinction of codependency that I have. And what do we need from Other things in people. Approval, validation, recognition, security, acceptance, love. I realized that the greatest prison in the world isn't built with concrete. It's built with dependency. And the uncomfortable truth is this, the more that you need from the world, the more power that you hand over to the world. So I did a little bit of digging on this, and I'm a huge fan of the Stoics, right? I always go to, you know, the great Stoics, Marcus Aurelius and things like that. And then also I look at, you know, some of the. Some of the strongest leaders that ever lived. So over two, 300 years ago, one dirty old philosopher demonstrated the level of freedom so profound that it left the most powerful man on earth questioning everything that he thought and he knew about greatness. And that person, that individual's name, for those of you that study up on that stuff, was Diogenes. Check this out. Dig on this. At the time, time of Diogenes, Alexander the Great had conquered nearly the entire known world. I mean, this guy was a badass. Kings bowed before Alexander the Great. Nations feared him. You didn't want to piss off Alexander the Great. He possessed unimaginable wealth, command, and vast, vast armies. And he held more influence than perhaps any man alive at the time. In fact, I would go as far as saying that there is no such person for a long time. And I know that some egos would probably think differently about that. There's no such person that has the power that Alexander the Great had. Whenever somebody had the opportunity of meeting Alexander the Great, somebody that had that much power over everybody, people would rehearse what they would say. If Alexander the Great stood before them. People would actually rehearse what they would say. They want to mess it up. So they would dream of the riches that they might ask for, the titles they might receive, the opportunities that they might gain. Can you see where we're going with that? I want you to start thinking about who's your Alexander the Great. Then Alexander decided he wanted to meet one day. And this is the way the story goes. And it's just a story, but it's cool. The lesson's awesome. Alexander the Great decided one day he wanted to meet this strange philosopher that everybody was talking about, and that was Diogenes. When he arrived, he didn't find a man living in a palace. When he found Diogenes, he found him lying comfortably in the sun, beside a barrel, in the streets, surrounded by a few dogs, completely at peace, for the most part, looking like he doesn't give a shit. So Alexander the Great came to see him and he says, is there anything I can do for you? Because that was the role that he typically played. Most people would have asked for gold, a home, political power, protection, status, influence. Instead, Diogenes looked up at the most powerful man on planet Earth and calmly remind, yes, please stand a little bit more to the side. You are in, my son. That's it. That's all he said. No fear, no flattery, no performance, no desire to impress. Just one simple request. Move. I don't think he said, please, you're blocking my sunlight. Now, Alexander was reportedly so stunned by this display of complete self possession that he turned to his companions and said this. You'd think that he would be like, off with his head. But he turned to his companions and said this. He says, if I were not Alexander the Great, I wish that I were Diogenes. Think about that. The man who conquered the entire world envied the man who needed nothing from it. Why? Because in that brief exchange, Alexander realized something extraordinary. And here's the core of the lesson today. He could conquer cities, command armies and own kingdoms, but he had absolutely no power over someone who wanted nothing from him. So pause on that. Imagine what life would look like and feel like for you. And you can see where I'm sitting in my new reality right now and what I need to accomplish in order to accomplish what I want to accomplish. Not just beat this thing, but have it be a catalyst in a vehicle that moves me to a whole new place where maybe I can express the highest form of self actualization and pay forward and serve humanity. So this brings us to one of the most misunderstood words in our entire language. And that word is indifference. Most people hear that word and immediately think of someone who's cold, detached, emotionless, someone who doesn't care. I very often wear this shirt that says breaking news, I don't care. That's typically what the world looks at when we think about indifference. That's not what I'm talking about here today. Because remember, I haven't made up my mind about anything. So I'm just sharing something. And today it's coming via sharing an observation and something that's working for me to care less about things that I don't need to care about. So it's not an emotional shutdown to do this. It's kind of like more like an emotional sovereignty, like a form of emotional sovereignty. So it's choosing what gets access to my mind and what deserves my precious, what I call currency. Now here's A new word that I definitely made up, currency. Sounds like currency, but it's called currency. And this comes from my new book, which is coming out in 2027. Every single one of us, we're all more alike than different. Every single one of us is born with something incredibly valuable, potentially more valuable than anything. And it's what everybody's vying for right now. And that's not your money, and that's not even your time or your talent or your skills. I'm talking about your currency. It's a currency of a different sort. It comes in the form of your attention, your emotional energy, your focus, your peace and your identity. And I want you to stop for a second right now and just make an assessment of what you're consuming every day. Now remember, whatever we consume, we assume consumption manifests as assumption. So can you see why your attention, which gets you to consume is so powerful? Because not only do you consume and purchase and buy without even knowing, but it begins to become what you assume. It becomes your new reality. So we only have a certain a lot of an amount each day. It's like we get an allowance each day of this currency and every single day you're spending it. So the question is right here in our little pause. Hmm, currency, Woof. So the only question is, is are you spending your currency intentionally or are you carelessly giving it away? So my new book that's coming out is going to address the concept and it's perfect because my new situation has now become the heartbeat of it, of how careless we are with what we care about. So here's what I've learned. Anything capable of controlling your emotions and obtaining your focus and your attention has already negotiated a lease inside of your own mind. So if a stranger's opinion changes your mood, they own shares of your currency. If social media, all the dopamine hits of social media, you know, you think you're having fun while you're doom scrolling and all that stuff. Have you ever stopped to wonder whether or not you're being controlled and who's in charge of that control? I mean, that's important. So if social media determines your self worth, because of what you see on social media, it owns shares of your currency. If money determines your identity, well, you get the point. So these things become collection agencies in your life. Take a step back and look at all of the collection agencies, not just the ones that come in the envelopes, look at all the collection agencies in your life. Well, congratulations in this moment of this share right now to all the Sense makers, you just found your inner Alexander. Remember, the interface response system is a four step process that begins with an awakening called brain awareness. Perception of something that's going on, whether it's good or bad. So finding your inner Alexander should not make you feel sad and like, what's happening? I'm being controlled? No, it's a great place to be because when you catch yourself drifting is the day that you can start shifting. So the question is this, who or what is standing in your son? And who are you allowing to stand in your son? And by the way, and this is the drifting and shifting concept, the fascinating part about this is none of this is your fault and it's nobody else's fault. Your brain, my brain was literally designed this way. Think about it. A wonderful book to read that really teaches you a lot about this. It was called Sapiens. But thousands of years ago, being rejected by your tribe often meant death because you'd be cast out of the tribe and you couldn't live on your own. You needed the strength of the tribe and protection and shelter and all that. So our ancestors didn't survive alone. Nobody survived alone. So evolution wired our nervous system to treat social rejection as an existential threat. Let's come back to today. Your primitive brain still hasn't received the memoir that being unfollowed on Instagram isn't the same thing as being abandoned in the wilderness. Nobody gave you the memo and you're hearing it right now. But your nervous system is wired the same way that it was way back when. So to your nervous system, rejection still feels like it's threatening your survival. And then life adds another layer. And we talk about this in our programming and in the interface response system in my book. Makes sense. Your mother, father, teacher, preacher, society in large. And remember, that's where we're consuming. And then the paying forward of evolution. All of those things, I call your programmers, each one of those things along your life, especially in the formative years when you just bought into everything we have this program, this operating system that's controlling our perception. So each one of those things adds another line of programming to your internal operating system. So this is where we get the concepts like this. Be a good boy or girl, don't disappoint people. Hey, just try to fit in. I hope that you fit in. I hope they fit in. Don't rock the boat, don't overdo it. Be realistic, be reasonable. People like you don't do things like that. People like us don't do things like that. So Little by little, what's happened to our nervous system? This is all based on this idea. It's not your fault. Little by little, you stop asking yourself what you actually want. And instead you begin asking a different question. And that is, what will everyone else think? Great morning. Jason Venner, my brother, I gotta tell you something. This whole experience with the whole cancer thing, it's just unbelievable. My wife sent me a message this morning because very often I think just like anybody else, I struggle with acknowledging my own self worth and stuff. Like I'm always trying to like gain the validity and you know, I want people to think I'm a good friend, a good father, a good husband, all that stuff. So I'm giving, giving, giving, giving, and I'm working on it, I'm aware of it, I'm doing this work. But all these people, you know, my wife's saying, look at all these people that are proof. Because everybody's coming out and we're raising funds to pay for our health care. God, we got, we had a person donate $10,000 the other day, which is good because we, we have a lot of bills. But all these people are coming out and a lot of people are saying, hey, I'm so sorry that we wasted so much time on that stupid. And this is, you know, I'm thinking about Jason that just came in. Another cool thing about it is it really makes you start to realize who your real true friends are. And it's not to say that everybody else is not a friend. But you get into this place where you go, yeah, but that per. That person's been there for me the whole while. Good or bad, good times or bad times. You know what I'm saying? That's pretty cool to be able to acknowledge that. Maybe that's just an offering. Before I get back into this rise up today, take a pause and just recognize the people, the family members that through good times and bad times are always there for you. And maybe give them some credit, maybe acknowledge who you're there for in life. Because what you'll do is you'll siphon through all of the out there and you'll end up with like this feeling of gratitude that you're not alone. You're not alone. I very often think that I'm alone. And by the way, you know, I. I have this great headspace about everything that I'm. I'm growing through right now. And that's by choice. But I get bummed out, I get scared, I get fearful for those of you following me on My Instagram, I'm just completely documenting this thing in a real way. Like, I'm gonna go back to the gym today. I had to take a week off for the biopsy, and I'm in pain, but I don't care, right? I'm gonna go through that, but I'm gonna be in pain and all that stuff, you know? So I just want everybody to know that, like, just because they hear the way I talk doesn't make me inhuman, but it just shows you. And this is what I hope people will learn from this, that I'm choosing the way I want to go through this stuff. I just gave Jason a lot of credit there. So little by little, you stop asking yourself what you actually want, and instead you begin asking, what will everyone else think? And without realizing it, what you've just done in that moment is you've outsourced your identity. Think about what that means for you to outsource your identity. You've handed over your currency right out of your wallet, handed over your currency and placed it on a monthly auto pay. Oh, my God, I fucking love that. When I. When I thought of that. Because, you know, those auto pays that we have, you know, I got my. My daughter got her new phone, like one of those upgrade deals, and we just got into this conversation about all the auto pays that come in. You know, we were talking about bills and programs that we've signed up for and all that stuff, because the guy's like, hey, do you want a new Apple Watch? And I'm like, I don't use my Apple Watch. And he says, well, you're paying for it, right? So I love the idea of looking at the fact that without even thinking about it, we've put our currency, our limited currency, our attention, our focus, and the things that we have cared about that we continue to care about, whether they're worthy of it or not, we've put them on an autopay subscription. And the tragedy is this. Most people never notice it. So that's what my podcast is about, is just saying, hey, what about that? Whether it's meaningful to you or not. I wanted to create a space where we can point things out. Like, hey, what about that? This is something I noticed. What about that? And the reason why is because the moment that you stop needing everyone else's approval, you become impossible to manipulate. And in essence, you become unfuck withable. So this is where the interface response system process can change everything for you. And that's out of my book. Makes sense. How to rewire your mind and transform your life. And we do a mastermind on it every month. And people keep asking me, are we still going to do the mastermind? Are you still going to do your lives? Are you still going to do the podcast? As if, like I'm dying or something. And my answer is, not only are we going to do it, it's going to be better than ever because I'm alive more than ever. So your interface, the interface is what we're doing right now. We're interfacing whether you're listening to this as a recording or not. The interface outcome determines your experience of reality. So if you're not happy with your experience of what reality? When somebody says how are things? And you have a negative look on things, that's the outcome of your interface. So the interface response system is about controlling that. It determines what you notice, what you fear, what you pursue and what you avoid. It determines how much leverage the outside world has over your inside world. And most people spend their lives trying to control circumstances. The irs, no, not that one. The interface response system teaches you to control your interface. So if we know that your interface outcome is really dictating your reality. And what I'm saying is, is this four step system, the interface response system is there to help you control the interface. That means that Wayne Dyer's famous quote, if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. This is how to do it, rather than just say it. Because once your interface and perception of those circumstances, like my big circumstance here changes your reality changes. You become what I said before, unfuck withable. And in my case right now, this means that I can get laser focused on my healing and my transformation and my growth makes sense. So what do you need to become laser focused on? So what I'm going to give you now made these up too, what I call the five habits of the unfuck with the bull. So if it sounds interesting for you to become unwithable, here are the five habits of the unfuck withable. The first habit is called freedom from approval. Imagine making decisions because they align with your values, not because they earn applause. Imagine saying only what you genuinely believe, rather than what keeps everybody comfortable. That's called freedom. So that's freedom from approval. So the second habit of the unfuck withable is emotional immunity. You don't have to go develop this, it's already in you, you just have to allow it. Sometimes in order for a river to flow, you just have to undam it. Right second One, emotional immunity. Life will continue throwing criticism, rejection, setbacks and uncertainty your way. But those events no longer define your emotional state. Not any longer. You respond instead of react. And in fact, you just simply allow yourself to recognize that there is no obligation to even respond to unsolicited criticism if unsolicited outside noise comes in. Remember, noise does not require your permission to show up. It requires your participation to stay. So that's a big distinction. You do not need to formulate a proper response to something you did not ask for from someone especially. Your peace becomes internal. Instead of being rented by the outside world, your peace becomes yours and internal, rather than something that you're renting to the outside world on autopay. So, number three, the third habit of the unfuck. Withable, fearless performance. This is really cool. The greatest performers in any field understand something that most people miss. Attachment destroys excellence. When you're obsessed with the outcome, that's when you choke. When you're obsessed and attached to the outcome, that's when we choke. When you're desperate to win, that's where fear has the opportunity to enter the equation. But when your attention stays fully on the process and you're just enjoying the process, the income versus the outcome, your best performance naturally emerges. Now for those of you that read my book, I learned this the hard way in public speaking. And this is why I no longer when I do talks, I don't care how big they are. I've been on stage in front of 15,000 people. I no longer use confidence monitors or pre written cue cards. I actually go out there and discover my talk on stage. And people don't like being around me before I do that because they're freaking out. So I found this. The archer who simply enjoys the flight of the arrow almost always outperforms the archer that's obsessed with the bullseye. And the prize number four. Fourth habit of the unfuck with the bull. The wealth of Enough Society constantly teaches us to want more. If you want to be a millionaire, what you don't know is the moment you become a millionaire, you'll be thinking about two. Seven figures, eight figures, nine figures, ten figures. More status, more followers, more recognition, more possessions. You're never going to have enough more proof that you've made it. But here's the paradox. The less you require to feel complete, the richer you become. Remember, this is about indifference. Simple pleasures become extraordinary. Extraordinary simple pleasures. Minimalism. Peace becomes affordable and you become harder to manipulate because fewer things can tempt you. You don't care Breaking news. I don't care. This is why my wife and I, as I said before, have become minimalists. So we began to just simply look around, discarding everything and everyone that had nothing to do with our goals, dreams, and basically the things that matter most. And anybody that was trying to steal our flow. And in our. In the book, I call them flow burglars. You're fired. You're fired. And we got really comfortable with that. As soon as somebody starts messing with us, we don't need to respond. Click. And if they're important people in our life, they're always welcome back. But now they know the rules. There's boundaries. Come to our house, and right now we're in disarray. But come to our new house, and you'll see we live very, very modestly. But if you look in our cabinet as minimalists, you'll see that we only have the amount of plates, glasses, and utensils that correspond to our family members. We use them, we wash them every day, and we put them away. We don't need any more. So that was the fourth, and that is the wealth of enough. So, number five, the final habit of the unfuck withable. Seeing reality. So finally seeing reality. So the moment that your ego stops demanding that you're right, truth becomes visible. You stop defending beliefs simply because they're yours. You stop defending beliefs simply because they're yours, even if they're not true, but they're yours, and that kind of makes them true. Truth becomes visible. You become curious instead of right and instead of certain. This is one of the reasons that I've learned how to what I say, revel in uncertainty. Practice this with me right now, I don't know, or I'm not sure, or maybe might be. How about that? Just. We become open instead of defensive. Reality becomes clearer because your identity is no longer standing in the way. Is your identity and the things that you stand for and fight for in the way. A lot of people tell me I just got to get out of my own way. But here's perhaps the most important distinction of all. People often misunderstand this entire idea because what they hear is, I'm saying, I want nothing. People say, what do you mean, you want nothing? That's not what I'm suggesting. So I'm going to clarify that. In fact, I want a lot of things. I want many things. I want meaningful relationships. I want to serve people. I want to create and build. I want to create great health. I want to accomplish great, great health. More so now than Ever. I want unforgettable experiences with my loved ones. Wanting is not the problem. The problem is needing. So there's a profound difference between wanting something and requiring it in order to feel whole. So I can deeply, deeply love someone without needing them to complete me. Now, remember how this whole thing started, Right? The whole thing started when I found myself getting incredibly sad. Because I thought that I was letting my family down because I have cancer. That's where this. This conversation started. I can deeply love someone like my wife, like my children, without needing them to complete me. That's not easy because I'm programmed that way. But I don't need them to complete me. My wife and I are 100% codependent on one another. But that causes trouble sometimes. This is the challenge with love, right? I can pursue success without allowing the success to define me. I can enjoy wealth without worshiping it. See, the goal isn't to eliminate desire. The goal is to eliminate dependency. Because dependency creates leverage and leverage creates control. Of who? Of you. So Alexander the Great had power over millions, millions and millions of people. And the reason why is because millions of people wanted something, something, needed something from Alexander. But Diogenes, you wanted nothing. Therefore, Alexander possessed nothing Diogenes lacked. That's freedom. So today I want you to ask yourself a simple question. Who is your Alexander? Maybe it's your boss, your parents, or even your spouse or your children. Maybe it's money. Maybe it's politics or social media. Maybe it's even your past or your future. Maybe it's the opinion of people that you'll never even meet. Maybe it's the opinion of the people. That's what's funny about social media that don't matter. You'll never even meet. Or maybe it's the version of yourself that you keep trying to impress. Whatever immediately came to your mind when I said, who is your Alexander? That's where your work might want to begin. Because here's what I've learned. The world will always try to negotiate for your attention. And you can see it. Advertisers, algorithms, politics, fear, news, headlines, old memories. Old memories try to get our attention. Imaginary critics. Remember, we give our critic in our mind a name. And even friends that are trying to help fix and cure my cancer. This is a fascinating one. Nobody calls me and asks if I have a plan and a protocol that I'm happy with for my recovery. And it comes from a great place. They suggest the one that they like as if it's the only one. And they don't understand that I'm hearing that from hundreds of people. And if I were to say thanks, but no thanks, they would probably be insulted and maybe even perhaps feel sorry for me, as I am now going to die for not listening to them. How up is that? They all want my currency. We all want each other's currencies. And I get it. And you know what? I appreciate it. I have the ability to appreciate that people want to help me, even if I don't need help. Remember the scenario of the fireman that's called to get the cat out of the tree. And he goes to get the cat and the cat's like, dude, I'm just climbing a tree. I didn't ask to be saved. People unconsciously all want to stand in one another's sun, by the way. Your job is not to fight every distraction. Your job is to stop renting your peace to the things that were never worthy of it. Alexander conquered the world. Diogenes conquered himself. That's what I'm working on. History remembers both men, but only one of those men was truly free. There's your choice. So here's the question that I'll leave you with today. What are you still asking the world to give you that you've had inside you all along? Because the day that you stop negotiating your own peace is the day that nobody can buy it, steal it, or control it. You're going to stop the auto pay the collection agency. And the day that you become all of those things is the day that you become unfuck withable. That's it for today. To support the make sense with Dr. JC podcast. Be sure to subscribe, like and share, as well as follow the Make Sense substack for free daily course quotes, live streams and blogs. And remember, learning without action is just another form of distraction. If something hit home and you learned something today, give it away. That's the only way it's going to stay. See you next time. Makes sense.