Podcast Summary: Making Space with Hoda Kotb

Episode: Clea Shearer on Controlling the Controllables and Conquering Breast Cancer

Date: October 1, 2025
Host: Hoda Kotb
Guest: Clea Shearer

Overview

This episode features a deeply moving and candid conversation between Hoda Kotb and Clea Shearer, co-founder of The Home Edit and author of "Cancer is Complicated and Other Unexpected Lessons I've Learned." Clea shares her personal journey through breast cancer, discussing the emotional, physical, and mental challenges she faced from diagnosis to her ongoing recovery. Through lessons learned, hard-won resilience, and a practical approach to adversity, Clea offers insights and advice for anyone navigating difficult periods. The episode explores themes of self-advocacy, vulnerability, finding purpose in suffering, and the importance of support systems.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Life Before and After Diagnosis

• The Home Edit’s Success: Clea recaps her rise with Joanna Teplin, the growth of The Home Edit into a global brand, and partnerships with names like Reese Witherspoon.
• Turning Point: Clea recounts how her seemingly perfect life was upended by her breast cancer diagnosis.
  • “You know how sometimes you're like, life can't get better than this?... And then it knocks you off its axis.” (04:13)

2. Discovery, Diagnosis, and Immediate Steps

• Finding the Lump: Clea discovered her own lump in the shower, soon after turning 40.
  • “As soon as I felt it... it came into crystal clear view because I had just turned 40.” (05:13)
• Struggles for Care: Initially denied a mammogram due to full bookings, Clea had to advocate for herself to get tested quickly.
  • Lesson: The importance of self-advocacy from the very first moment.

3. Telling Her Children and Family

• Timing and Truthfulness: Chose to wait until the day before her double mastectomy to tell her kids (ages 11 and 8), emphasizing confidence and calm.
  • “I am telling you this from the bottom of my heart, that I am not afraid.” (09:12)
• Honesty with Kids: Answered their questions directly and promised transparency.

4. Lessons from Cancer: Clea’s Practical Guide

• Five Key Lessons for Others: (12:41)
  1. There are more good days than bad days.
     • “My good days far outnumbered my sick days.” (12:41)
  2. Self-Advocacy is Crucial.
     • “Your advocacy doesn't stop when you get diagnosed... There are things that you will experience that your doctor needs to be informed of.” (15:24)
  3. Accept Help.
     • “Everyone wants to be there. You are not a burden.” (17:09)
  4. Allow Yourself to Feel.
     • Recognize mental health as part of healing; embrace both rough and hopeful moments.
  5. Recognize the Changing Nature of Relationships.
     • “Sometimes people, they drop off. Sometimes people don't show up the way you want... And that's fine.” (42:17)
• Practical Tips for Treatment Days:
  • Bring comfort items to chemo (e.g., fuzzy socks, personal blanket, sentimental objects).
  • “I packed a bag ... not just snacks and water bottles. It was things that I could hold, that I could feel and that the love kind of poured through.” (39:19)

5. Mental Health and Emotional Resilience

• Dealing with Uncertainties and Demons: She faces ongoing fears of recurrence, but counteracts these thoughts by focusing on the present and what she can control.
  • “I don't know if I ever will be clear of the shadow over me... but I feel stronger and more empowered and more in control.” (19:56)
• On Breakdown and Vulnerability: It's okay to break down sometimes.
  • “I can count on one hand how many times I have absolutely broken down and sobbed in my cancer journey... that is okay.” (23:28)

6. Complications and Multiple Surgeries

• Enduring 13 Surgeries: Clea describes a challenging and non-linear recovery with setbacks and repeated surgeries.
  • “Unfortunately, [I’ve] been dealt kind of a bit of a rough hand with the way my body has responded to a lot of things.” (29:23)

7. Redefining Identity and Relationships

• Purposeful Cancer Advocacy: While not wanting to be defined by cancer, Clea embraces her role in helping others through her visibility and experience.
  • “Trying to be a purposeful figure within this horrible disease... has become part of my identity.” (32:03)
• Changing Relationships: The journey clarified who her “real” support people are.

8. Controlling the Controllables

• Letting Go of Perfection:
  • “I had a mantra... control the controllables and know when you can't control things.” (33:28)
  • Examples: Shaving her own head before losing hair to chemo, managing her diet, ensuring daily movement—even if small.

9. Transformation and Perspective

• Finding Unexpected Strength: Clea realized she had reserves of resilience and adaptability she didn’t know existed.
  • “I truly thought I was like a very delicate flower in the snow... I didn't know that I had so much strength.” (35:16)
• Parenting and Family: Cancer’s impact has changed her parenting style, fostered resilience in her children, and shifted priorities.
  • “My kids are better for it. I'm better for it.'' (38:42)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "When you get diagnosed with something... the scariest stuff when it comes to cancer is telling people who love us." — Hoda (08:38)

• "Sometimes you'll fall into bad days mentally... the way we physically feel obviously impacts the way we mentally feel." — Clea (13:32)

• "There is no shame in [breaking down]. There is value in it, in fact, of just sometimes releasing that emotion." — Clea (23:28)

• "If someone has to get breast cancer, why shouldn't it be me? ...I have all the resources, all the capabilities..." — Clea (29:27)

• "I had a mantra, and I still do, which is control the controllables and know when you can't control things." — Clea (33:28)

• "I look at the world differently. I look at my day differently." — Clea (36:48)

• "Sometimes you're mad. Sometimes people, they drop off... I need to speak up again. Be your own advocate, be your own voice, and accept the help." — Clea (43:04)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Clea’s Introduction and Diagnosis: [00:54] – [05:13]
• Telling Her Children: [08:43] – [10:12]
• Top Five Pieces of Advice: [12:41] – [17:09]
• Mental Health and Emotions: [19:29] – [25:04]
• Complications and Multiple Surgeries: [27:13] – [31:22]
• Identity and Purpose Post-Cancer: [32:03] – [33:28]
• Controlling the Controllables: [33:28] – [34:40]
• Personal Transformation: [35:16] – [36:48]
• Impact on Parenting: [37:20] – [39:00]
• Practical Chemo/Radiation Tips: [39:19] – [41:18]
• On Difficult Relationships: [42:17] – [44:24]
• Clea’s Ideal Day / “Making Space”: [47:07] – [48:35]

Closing Reflection

Clea Shearer's story is one of candor, humility, and hope. Her journey through breast cancer has not only tested her strength but revealed new dimensions to her identity, enriched her relationships, and inspired practical tools for others facing hardship. The episode is moving, motivational, and packed with tangible advice for anyone looking to "make space" for healing and change in their own life. Hoda creates a safe space for truth-telling—one that equips listeners with both emotional comfort and useful action steps.

Book Mentioned:
Cancer is Complicated and Other Unexpected Lessons I've Learned – Clea Shearer

“We get up and try and some days it works and some days it doesn't, but... I think it's working.”
—Clea Shearer (48:57)