Making Space with Hoda Kotb: Gabby Bernstein on Manifesting the Life of Your Dreams

Release Date: November 13, 2024

In this compelling episode of Making Space with Hoda Kotb, host Hoda engages in a deeply personal and transformative conversation with spiritual teacher and New York Times bestselling author, Gabby Bernstein. Together, they explore themes of self-discovery, resilience, addiction, spirituality, and the journey toward manifesting one’s dream life. The discussion is enriched with Gabby's candid recounting of her struggles and triumphs, offering listeners invaluable insights and practical advice for personal growth.

Gabby Bernstein’s Journey: From Addiction to Awakening

The conversation begins with Gabby reflecting on her 19-year sober anniversary, marking a significant milestone in her life. “[02:58] Gabby Bernstein: Well, it's... today is my 19-year sober anniversary,” she shares, underscoring the depth of her commitment to recovery.

Gabby opens up about her past, describing herself as "a grinder, a go-getter" who sought validation in all the wrong places. She candidly discusses her battle with drug addiction and alcoholism, explaining how the relentless pursuit of external achievements ultimately led to her downfall. “[03:09] Gabby Bernstein: I think about the part of me that was so desperate to be seen and the part of me that just was searching, seeking validation, worthiness in all the wrong places.”

Recognizing her downward spiral, Gabby recounts the moment she hit rock bottom. “[05:53] Gabby Bernstein: After facing my own struggles, I strengthened my spiritual connection, turning my trauma into a limitless source of love, strength, and freedom.”

The Catalyst for Change: Spiritual Awakening and Community

Gabby credits her recovery to a powerful inner voice and the support of a compassionate community. Reflecting on her pivotal moment, she states, “[05:19] Gabby Bernstein: I said, if there's a higher power, tell me what to do. I need a miracle. And I actually heard an inner voice. I heard a directive voice. And that voice said, get clean, and you will live a life beyond your wildest dreams.”

This epiphany led her to seek out a recovery group, where she found a sense of belonging and support. Gabby emphasizes the importance of community in healing, noting, “[09:38] Gabby Bernstein: I first believe I found community and fellowship... any form of spiritual community that you may find in your lifetime... is a spiritual connection.”

Healing Through Spirituality and Internal Family Systems Therapy

Delving deeper into her healing process, Gabby introduces the concept of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. She outlines a four-step process to address and unburden limiting beliefs:

1. Check the Story – “[27:03] Gabby Bernstein: Step one is... choose to check in with the story.”
2. Curiosity – “[27:46] Gabby Bernstein: Step two is curiosity... asking little questions like how old are you?”
3. Compassionate Connection – “[27:46] Gabby Bernstein: Step three is compassionately connect... asking that younger part of you, what do you need?”
4. Noticing Shifts – “[28:20] Gabby Bernstein: Step four is just noticing any shifts inside.”

Gabby explains that these steps help individuals address the "protector parts" of themselves that often manifest as unhealthy behaviors or limiting beliefs. She poignantly asks, “[30:21] Gabby Bernstein: And it's not that we shouldn't have those parts of us, but the work is about unburdening those parts so that they can calm down.”

Overcoming Limiting Beliefs and Embracing Self-Worth

A significant portion of the discussion centers around the concept of self-worth and the dismantling of limiting beliefs. Gabby identifies these beliefs as "young old stories" formed during childhood trauma or significant life events. “[20:53] Gabby Bernstein: Any limiting beliefs that we have about ourselves are young, old stories... these are moments in time where these young parts of us have no ability to process big extreme emotions.”

Hoda probes deeper into strategies for overcoming these internalized narratives. Gabby emphasizes the importance of treating oneself with the same compassion offered to a child, stating, “[25:54] Gabby Bernstein: So starting with curiosity and say to her, why would you think that?”

She further elaborates on the practical application of IFS therapy, encouraging listeners to engage in self-dialogue that fosters understanding and healing. “[27:11] Gabby Bernstein: So it's a four-step process... becoming your own internal parent.”

Daily Routines for Mind and Spirit

Gabby shares her morning and evening routines, highlighting the practices that help her maintain balance and alignment. Her morning ritual varies based on her location, whether she’s in her country home or Manhattan. “[32:52] Gabby Bernstein: If I'm in my country home... we'll do a little meditation... then I start my day by getting him out the door.”

In the evenings, Gabby incorporates biohacking techniques to wind down, such as using Normatec boots and red light therapy. “[35:29] Gabby Bernstein: I've got the Normatec boots... It's a tremendous amount of biohacking to wind down.”

These routines underscore the importance of consistent self-care practices in sustaining mental and spiritual health.

Distinguishing Fear from Intuition

A particularly insightful segment delves into differentiating between fear and intuition, especially when making significant life decisions. Gabby articulates, “[37:12] Gabby Bernstein: An intuitive knowing is almost irrational... it feels settled... whereas fear-based decisions are rooted in logic and reason.”

She advises listeners to attune to their inner feelings, suggesting, “[37:12] Gabby Bernstein: The flow sort of feels like there's this sensation of it's this or something better. I am allowing, I am free in this decision making.”

Gabby cautions against letting impatience or desire overshadow genuine intuition, “[38:33] Gabby Bernstein: I think that there's ego in that too... the inner knowing might actually be saying, yes, but not now.”

Pursuing Passion with Balance: The Side Hustle Approach

Addressing fears associated with pursuing passions and taking risks, Gabby recommends a balanced approach. She echoes Hoda’s advice on dedicating a portion of time and resources to side projects: “[39:34] Gabby Bernstein: If somebody's like, I'm in this career, I don't like it, but I want to be doing something else, I'll always say to them, how can you be just doing that thing now?”

Gabby shares her own experience of maintaining a side hustle while working as a publicist, emphasizing that such strategies prevent feeling trapped and allow for gradual transition. “[40:07] Gabby Bernstein: I was a publicist by day and moonlighting as a motivational speaker by night for five years before that became my full-time career.”

Visualizing the Perfect Day: Creating Space for Personal Fulfillment

Towards the episode's conclusion, Hoda invites Gabby to envision her perfect day, free from obligations and centered around personal fulfillment. Gabby paints a vivid picture: “[40:33] Gabby Bernstein: I wake up to the sunrise, have my coffee, spend time writing in my cabin, engage in gentle exercise, enjoy a sauna and ice bath, and end the day with a nourishing dinner with spiritual friends.”

This visualization serves as an inspiring testament to the possibilities of living a life aligned with one’s true self and spiritual values.

Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Throughout the episode, Gabby’s unwavering confidence and genuine compassion resonate, offering listeners hope and actionable steps toward their own personal transformations. Her final remarks encapsulate the essence of her teachings:

“[41:33] Hoda Kotb: Pick up the book... Self Help: This is Your Chance to Change Your Life.”

Gabby’s journey from addiction to spiritual awakening, coupled with her practical advice and heartfelt insights, makes this episode a powerful resource for anyone seeking to manifest their dreams and cultivate a life of purpose and resilience.

Notable Quotes:

• “[05:53] Gabby Bernstein: Get clean, and you will live a life beyond your wildest dreams.”

• “[27:11] Gabby Bernstein: It's a four-step process... becoming your own internal parent.”

• “[37:12] Gabby Bernstein: An intuitive knowing is almost irrational... whereas fear-based decisions are rooted in logic and reason.”

Making Space with Hoda Kotb continues to provide thoughtful and inspiring conversations. Gabby Bernstein’s episode stands out as a beacon of hope and practical wisdom for those navigating their own paths to self-discovery and fulfillment.