Podcast Summary: Rabbi Steve Leder on The Beauty of What Remains

Making Space with Hoda Kotb features a profound and heartfelt conversation with Rabbi Steve Leder, delving into themes of life, loss, healing, and the enduring resilience of the human spirit. Rabbi Leder, the former Senior Rabbi of the Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles, shares his insights from decades of pastoral care, personal experiences, and his bestselling books. This episode offers listeners a deep exploration of how we can find meaning and beauty even in the aftermath of profound loss.

1. Introduction to Rabbi Steve Leder

Hoda Kotb welcomes Rabbi Steve Leder, emphasizing his extensive experience and the spiritual depth he brings to conversations about life and loss.

• Hoda Kotb [01:05]: “I am revisiting a beautiful conversation with Rabbi Steve Leiter and let me tell you, this one has stuck with me. It's all about life, loss and the profound way in which the two intertwine.”

2. Healing vs. Curing

A central theme of the conversation is the distinction between healing and curing. Rabbi Leder explains that while some pains and losses cannot be undone, healing involves structuring chaos and fostering hope.

• Rabbi Steve Leder [03:21]: “The same thing. There are a lot of things in life you can't cure, but you can heal from them... I can structure the chaos and help carry you and give you some faith and hope in the future and help you heal, which is very different than curing.”
  (04:02)

3. Managing Pain and Trauma

Rabbi Leder discusses strategies to navigate through intense pain and trauma, encouraging listeners to lean into relationships and avoid catastrophizing the future.

• Rabbi Steve Leder [04:24]: “When you must, you can. People are unbelievably strong and resilient. We've all had experience being strong and resilient, and that doesn't abandon us when the time comes.”
  (05:34)

4. Personal Reflections on Loss

A deeply personal segment where Rabbi Leder shares his experience with his father’s battle with Alzheimer's and his subsequent passing. This moment was pivotal, leading him to a profound realization about the meaning of life and death.

• Rabbi Steve Leder [16:51]: “That's the most important thing I've learned, is that the fact we're going to die either means nothing matters or everything matters. And I say, since that experience, I knew it kind of before, but everything matters.”
  (18:49)

5. The Impact of Materialism vs. Meaningful Relationships

The conversation highlights the futility of material possessions in the face of true meaning derived from relationships and personal legacy.

• Rabbi Steve Leder [32:08]: “Spend all our lives working so hard to make money. To buy things that we think matter and they don't... Net worth and self worth have nothing to do with each other except in our minds.”
  (33:26)

6. Crafting and Understanding Legacy

Rabbi Leder introduces the concept of legacy, emphasizing the importance of personal stories, values, and the true inheritance we leave behind, rather than material possessions.

• Rabbi Steve Leder [53:48]: “We want our loved ones story, their values, their hopes and dreams and blessings for us. Their life lessons for us... That's the real inheritance we crave.”
  (53:02)

7. The Power of Gratitude and Connection

Drawing from positive psychology, Rabbi Leder advocates for gratitude visits—reaching out to those who have impacted our lives—to foster healing and emotional well-being.

• Rabbi Steve Leder [54:01]: “Choose someone who changed your life for the better, write a thank you letter, and read it to them in person. It’s incredibly powerful.”
  (54:05)

8. Transition and New Beginnings

In discussing his retirement, Rabbi Leder reflects on his desire to embark on a new chapter that remains meaningful and impactful, while acknowledging the fear that accompanies such significant changes.

• Rabbi Steve Leder [56:58]: “I'm ready, and I want to do it when I'm young enough to have another chapter. I just want a broader opportunity.”
  (57:00)
• Hoda Kotb [58:03]: “You're a little scared.”
  (58:03)

9. Concluding Thoughts

The episode wraps up with mutual expressions of gratitude and the reaffirmation of the enduring connections formed through sharing personal experiences and truths.

• Rabbi Steve Leder [61:09]: “Thank you, Hoda.”
• Hoda Kotb [61:15]: “I love you, too.”

Notable Quotes with Atttributions

• Rabbi Steve Leder [05:34]: “When you must, you can. People are unbelievably strong and resilient.”
• Rabbi Steve Leder [16:51]: “Everything matters.”
• Rabbi Steve Leder [32:08]: “Net worth and self worth have nothing to do with each other except in our minds.”
• Rabbi Steve Leder [53:48]: “That's the real inheritance we crave.”
• Rabbi Steve Leder [54:01]: “It's incredibly powerful.”
• Rabbi Steve Leder [56:58]: “I want a broader opportunity.”

Conclusion

This episode of Making Space with Hoda Kotb provides a moving exploration of life’s most challenging moments and the profound ways we can find strength and beauty amidst loss. Rabbi Steve Leder’s candid reflections and wisdom offer listeners valuable lessons on healing, the importance of authentic relationships, and the legacy we choose to leave behind. Whether you’re navigating personal grief or seeking deeper meaning in life, this conversation serves as an inspiring guide to making space for growth and transformation.