Selma Blair on Acting Through Adversity and the Power of Positivity

Summary

Podcast Summary: Making Space with Hoda Kotb

Episode: Selma Blair on Acting Through Adversity and the Power of Positivity
Host: Hoda Kotb
Date: October 8, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode features an intimate conversation between Hoda Kotb and actress, activist, and author Selma Blair. Together, they explore Selma’s journey with multiple sclerosis, her evolution as a person and artist, and the vital role that vulnerability, humor, and positivity have played in her resilience. Selma’s reflections touch on childhood challenges, her acting career, her relationship with her son, and her role in changing how society views chronic illness.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Journey of Self-Discovery and Vulnerability

• Selma’s TEDx Talk ([03:29–05:02])

  • Selma describes how necessity forced her to evolve, and how being vulnerable in the chronic illness and disability communities became a source of connection and empowerment.
  • “Things can seem pretty grim, but you never know when it can change.” — Selma Blair [04:47]

• Vulnerability as a Superpower ([02:43])

  • Hoda frames vulnerability as “its own kind of superpower” through Selma’s example.

2. Childhood Experience and Family Dynamics

• Growing Up with Undiagnosed MS ([05:24–07:59])

  • Selma recalls being a strong-willed child, often labeled dramatic or depressive due to symptoms later identified as MS.
  • She credits her mother, a magistrate and lawyer with a strong work ethic, as her stabilizing force growing up.
  • “She always felt kids should be a little bit afraid of their parent. They feel safer.” — Selma Blair [07:14]

• Unexplainable Childhood Symptoms ([07:54–09:03])

  • Fatigue, vision issues, and bladder problems plagued Selma from a young age, leading her to self-doubt and search for comfort in books and, from a young age, alcohol.

3. Early Coping Mechanisms and Coping through Books

• First Experiences with Alcohol ([09:29–10:55])

  • Inspired by a book, Selma drank heavily for the first time at age 7, using alcohol to self-medicate unrecognized pain and distress.
  • “At 7, at a Passover Seder, I had my first dead drunk. I was like, okay, that was terrifying. And how do I get that again?” — Selma Blair [10:14]

• Connection to Literature ([11:04–12:36])

  • Books provided comfort, solace, and identity.
  • Childhood favorites included C.S. Lewis’s "Till We Have Faces," Sylvia Plath, John Irving, and Roald Dahl.
  • “Books were my happiness...Anyone said, what if you had to rob any store? What would it be? I’m like a bookstore.” — Selma Blair [11:45]

4. Family Reactions and Parenting Reflections

• Mother’s Response to Diagnosis ([12:36–13:54])
  • When Selma finally told her mother about her MS diagnosis, her mother responded with pragmatic optimism, downplaying the severity but also expressing relief that there was now an explanation and treatment options.

5. The Importance of Skin and Self-Care

• Discovery of Skincare Line ([14:01–16:23])
  • Selma found healing for her skin—a metaphor for self-nourishment—through a chance encounter with a facialist who introduced her to a gentle, evidence-based Australian skincare line.
  • “It was just a kindness of a stranger…within a week my skin started to not burn as much.” — Selma Blair [14:58]

6. Journey into Acting and Adversity in Hollywood

• Breaking into Acting ([16:29–18:17])

  • Selma details living at the Salvation Army’s Parkside Evangeline Women’s Residence and hustling through rejection until her first agent, Jana Kogan, recognized her talent.
  • “It was just an example of everything not to do that was damn comedic. And then she called me in, and then she signed me.” — Selma Blair [18:17]

• Navigating Early Success with Unrecognized Illness ([18:31–20:17])

  • Signs of MS—frequent crying, balance problems, fatigue—appeared during films like "Cruel Intentions" and "Legally Blonde," but went undiagnosed.
  • Misdiagnosed with leukemia on "Hellboy 2."

7. The Path to Diagnosis

• Missed Signs and Finally Seeking Help ([23:38–25:20])

  • After giving birth to her son in 2011, Selma’s symptoms worsened. Persistent fatigue and numbness drove her to seek an MRI at last, resulting in her MS diagnosis in 2018.
  • “I had actually told Christina Applegate to get an MRI when I saw symptoms, and that changed my life. So I’m a real proponent of MRIs.” — Selma Blair [25:13]

• Relief and Retroactive Clarity ([25:32–26:18])

  • The diagnosis brought exhale and grief: “I sobbed with an exhale, but I still didn’t…Peace. That’s what was going on my whole life.” — Selma Blair [25:32]

• Initial Treatment Struggles and Hope ([26:18–27:46])

  • Selma pursued aggressive treatments and, with time, found a doctor—Dr. Regina—who matched her needs and ambitions.
  • “It’s just amazing how much you learn all the time. It’s not linear.” — Selma Blair [27:45]

8. Parenting with MS and Community

• Impact on Her Son ([27:46–28:40])

  • Being unable to work full time meant more time with her son, which she cherishes despite physical hardship.
  • “He holds my hand, he makes sure I have my water. Just simple things that really move the needle.” — Selma Blair [28:22]

• On Community and Support ([30:52–32:15])

  • Going public brought an outpouring of support, but also the waning attention typical of chronic illness visibility.
  • “But having the push of support in the beginning really meant so much, and I saw the best in people.” — Selma Blair [31:38]

9. Attitude, Medical Partnership, and Daily Resilience

• Choosing Positivity ([32:24–34:10])

  • Selma credits an intentional shift in her outlook for much of her present-day wellness, along with attentive medical care, routine, and self-kindness.
  • “My attitude changed into something really positive and playful. And I thank God for that every day because without that attitude, who knows what things I’d lean back on…that wouldn’t get me feeling better.” — Selma Blair [33:09]
  • The importance of daily habits—exercise, sleep, eating well—are paramount.

• Coping with Bad Days ([34:34–35:48])

  • Refers to the “spoon theory” (energy budgeting for chronic illness) and grants herself permission to rest as needed.

10. Changing the Conversation Around MS

• On Secrecy and Openness ([37:59–39:00])
  • Inspired by Jamie Lynn Sigler, Selma found strength in sharing her MS story. She highlights the importance of learning from those who walked the path before.
  • “It makes me feel warm that Christina tells her truth. That she speaks my truth on the days I don’t want to because I’m busy trying to be positive.” — Selma Blair [38:55]

11. Meditation, Mind-Body Practices, and Joy

• Transcendental Meditation & Horseback Riding ([39:59–40:44])
  • Selma practices meditation daily, finding it essential for calmness and clarity, also sharing the mending power of horseback riding.
  • “There is something about sitting down that way that helps my speech…That calms my nerves. Nervous system.” — Selma Blair [40:37]

12. Joy, Rest, and Making Space

• What Restorative Time Looks Like ([40:59–41:38])
  • On her ideal day off: reading a new book by the ocean, shaded and serene, or playing in her pool with her son.
  • “Just to read an entire book by the beach one day? That’s incredible. Also, I like to just jump in my pool, and I’ll just stay there and do flips and flips and flips, like a little kid.” — Selma Blair [41:33]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Things can seem pretty grim, but you never know when it can change.” — Selma Blair [04:47]
• “At 7, at a Passover Seder, I had my first dead drunk. I was like, okay, that was terrifying. And how do I get that again?” — Selma Blair [10:14]
• “Books were my happiness...If you had to rob any store? What would it be? I’m like a bookstore.” — Selma Blair [11:45]
• “I sobbed with an exhale, but I still didn’t…Peace. That’s what was going on my whole life.” — Selma Blair [25:32]
• “My attitude changed into something really positive and playful…without that attitude, who knows what things I’d lean back on.” — Selma Blair [33:09]
• “It’s just amazing how much you learn all the time. It’s not linear.” — Selma Blair [27:45]
• “It makes me feel warm that Christina tells her truth. That she speaks my truth on the days I don’t want to…” — Selma Blair [38:55]
• “Just to read an entire book by the beach one day? That’s incredible. Also, I like to just jump in my pool…like a little kid.” — Selma Blair [41:33]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Selma’s TEDx Talk and Vulnerability: 03:29–05:02
• Childhood Stories and Family: 05:24–09:03
• Books and Early Coping: 11:04–12:36
• MS Diagnosis and Medical Journey: 23:38–27:46
• Parenting, Community, and Support: 27:46–32:15
• Attitudinal Shift and Wellness: 32:24–34:10
• Secrecy, Visibility, and Changing the Conversation: 37:59–39:00
• Meditation and Joyful Rituals: 39:59–41:38

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Final Reflection

Selma Blair’s candid, quick-witted, and authentic conversation highlights the power of embracing one’s struggles and turning them into sources of connection, hope, and even humor. Her story will resonate with anyone facing chronic adversity—and remind us all that real strength lies in honesty, self-compassion, and making space for joy and growth.

Transcript

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[Hoda Kotb]

Some stories remind us that true courage is not about avoiding challenges, but it's about facing them with grace, determination and heart. Selma Blair's story's one of those. For more than two decades, Selma has captivated audiences on screen with iconic roles in Cruel Intentions, Legally Blonde and Hellboy. She's a devoted mother, an acclaimed actress, a best selling author, and a style icon who brings depth and complexity to everything she does. But behind the scenes, she's faced a battle so crippling it almost caused her to step away. From the time she was a kid, Selma dealt with physical ailments, from losing control over her body to crying at any given moment. All along, she was told she was just making it up. In 2018, after 40 years of struggling, Selma was officially diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, opening up a chapter of healing and advocacy in her life. Through her honesty and unwavering spirit, she shown the world a new kind of strength, becoming a voice of hope for millions living with chronic illnesses. In our conversation, Selma opens up about her journey, how she finds light in the darkness, what keeps her moving forward, and why she believes vulnerability is its.

Own kind of superpower.

I'm Hoda Kotb. Welcome to my podcast, Making Space.

First of all, I'm so, so happy to see you. And I just did. I like to do a little Google situation before we do an interview.

And I just saw a Ted.

[Indeed Announcer]

No.

[Hoda Kotb]

Oh, this is good, though. This is good, though.

This is good.

I just saw a TED Talk.

You did. Not too long ago. And I was riveted by this TED Talk.

Tell me about. This is the one I can't remember. Pacific something.

Ted.

[Selma Blair]

Tell me a little bit about that.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yeah, tell me.

[Selma Blair]

You know, I have, you know, either through past, you know, illness or just life stuff happening, I've had to keep evolving. And that's great. Necessity is the mother of invention. But, you know, I struggle with. Oh, God, do I have anything to really offer? That's like the old me. That's like. And it's like I've realized through being very vulnerable with people in the disability community or chronic illness or just showing up as I am, that that did. It really helped move the needle for a lot of people. Everyone wants to kind of feel connected to something, even if it isn't the most fashionable thing in that moment. And so my friend Richard Green, an old friend, he was part of the kin group in Santa Monica. It's an amazing think tank space. Incredible. And have learned a lot through the people there. But he asked if I would do this TEDx talk. And, well, the speech I wrote, it was horrific. So I just went off. So then, like, you know, the night before, I just. I'm like, I'm just gonna write what I feel right now. And, you know, gosh be darned. And I went up there and I was so sick that week. But it's still important to show up unless I'm contagious. I was sick. It was like flop sweat, everything. But the group was so receptive, and it was so important to me just to get that message out. Like, things can seem pretty grim, but you never know when it can change.

[Hoda Kotb]

Everything can change in 18 minutes. I felt like I knew you in a deeper. And I've interviewed you and I'd had an opportunity to sit with you. And I think I was just struck, really by your strength when I was watching you. And I just got to thinking of you as a little girl. Were you a delicate flower?

Were you a strong kid?

What were you like then?

[Selma Blair]

I was a strong kid. I mean, I think one winter we went to Puerto Rico on vacation, and I got lost in the marketplace, and an older lady came up to me in this, like, family lore, and she's like, oh, are you lost, little girl? And I was like, shut up. Get out of here. And I still, you know, I still run a little hot when I'm nervous. And so I have to be really authentic to counter, like. But I, you know, it's funny because I did have Ms. As a child and I didn't know and it did cause a lot of pseudobulbar affect, which means I can cry or laugh quite impulsively and impulsively and maybe inappropriately. I mean, thank God I got into acting where you can really figure out a way to make it work and not, you know, be too scary to people. So I definitely got in the right field. But now as I've had to shift so many things, I think of little Selma all the time because I think of the little Selmas I wish I could talk to because I didn't know myself and I was very afraid. And with relapsing ms, it wouldn't make sense because I'd get sick or lose my vision, but then it would come back. So it was kind of like, oh, cuckoo. Selma.

[Hoda Kotb]

I think everyone is a little kid is looking for their calm space.

And I know you know this as.

A mom, and me too. It's like when your kid is spinning out of control and you don't know why, they need someone who's steady. Who was your steady when you were a kid?

[Selma Blair]

Maybe my sister Lizzie. We were close in age, but it really was my mom. She worked full time and a lot like you when your baby was younger. My mom Woke up at 3 in the morning, drove two hours to work every day. And she was a lawyer and a magistrate in the capital of Lansing. So that was two hours away and two hours back. But she made sure there's a hot dinner on the table for all of us. We all sat down. And while she might not have been as nurturing or motherly, she was a great force for me to look to. And she did keep stability. She always felt kids should be a little bit afraid of their parent. They feel safer. I didn't do that parenting. I wish I did neither.

[Hoda Kotb]

I didn't do that either.

[Selma Blair]

I mean, I let it all hang out and I'm like, but you're good, you're safe, kid.

[Hoda Kotb]

A lot of kids go through stuff, through life, and some parents just imagine, well, oh, that's just a kid going through the terrible twos or that's how there's a meltdown. I mean, you know, obviously you've. You've looked back and been able to kind of examine it all.

But what were some of the big things that happened when you were a.

Little kid that were sort of unexplainable. That now make sense.

[Selma Blair]

Oh, gosh. Anytime we were going to dinner, it was just. I was exhausted. And it was a thing like, oh, gosh, now Selma's gonna say she can't go. And it is much like chronic illness now. It's like you've reached the end of your limit, but when you're little. And also I had bladder problems. So mom, you know, we'd. All four kids would be up, you know, packed in her Corvette, off shopping on a Saturday for a great day. And I was like, oh, my God, I have to pee. I have to pee. And Lizzie's like, don't tell anyone. Don't tell anyone. We'll have to go back. Because, you know, mom had to, you know, just forget it. Everyone's gone. Everything had to be easy on the weekends. So I struggled with a lot of kidney infections and bladder stuff and things. Cause I didn't really believe what I had was real. I really did just believe. Oh, my mom would introduce me and she loved me, loved me dearly. But she would say, oh, this is Lizzie the athlete. This is Selma the depressive. And I just was tired. But we had a good language too, and she had a great sense of humor. But my life now, in this third act or whatever act we're in, is so vastly different from who I thought I was before.

[Hoda Kotb]

Well, I love when things become clear because they're explained. You're like, that's why. That's why. I think the thing that struck me when I read your book, I remembered the drinking at a young age. And I remembered thinking about that like a third grader, because my daughter is now in third grade.

[Selma Blair]

She's eight.

[Hoda Kotb]

And the idea, when I think about that, the thought of going to get a drink. What were you seeking when you went.

To get a drink?

How did you know about getting a drink?

[Selma Blair]

God, you know, I read a book and they made it into a movie with Linda Blair, I think. And she was like a kid that drank. And it was really fun for a minute. And then a horrible tragedy happens. And I read that book and I was like, I can do that. Hopefully without the tragedy, but I can do that. Because she described how it made her feel better. And I think I was emotionally distraught not knowing myself. And my mother was incredible mother. And we also had care at the home, but she was very much gone all the time. And I really just thought I was making up these things, you know, that I couldn't see or that my Leg was dragging, and I just wanted to feel better. I had pain all the time. And I read in the book that it made all her pain go away. So at 7, at a Passover Seder, I had my first dead drunk.

[Hoda Kotb]

Wow.

[Selma Blair]

And I was like, okay, that was terrifying. And how do I get that again? Oh. So. And that became my anesthesia whenever I needed it. I wasn't always an everyday drinker. I never drank on set. I was a very functional. But in my own personal life, it really thwarted me and really created problems. And I didn't know I had pseudobulbar affect, which is also happens a lot of times with closed head injuries or Parkinson's or Ms. And there's something I can take for it, and it's vastly improved. But that I thought was my personality. My entire life, this sobbing. And I didn't know that it was an injury. So that was like my greatest discovery with Ms. Wow.

[Hoda Kotb]

When you were a kid laying in your bed by yourself, what were you saying to yourself? Who were you talking to? How were you trying to make sense of it as a little girl?

[Selma Blair]

I talked to God. I talked to God and I prayed every night. And then one day I realized things were going really badly for me. And I was like, oh, who am I to take up God's time? Oh, no. And then I thought it's because I prayed too much and God had fires to worry about and babies that were dying. And so I had a real sense of shame, just even asking for anything or being seen that I didn't deserve. So it's been a whole life of kind of building that up and the things, you know, the things that I learned and the stories I told myself. But I did. I escaped in books. Books were my happiness. Like when I was little, anyone said, what if you had to rob any store? What would it be? I'm like a bookstore.

[Hoda Kotb]

Oh, my God.

[Selma Blair]

What was your.

[Hoda Kotb]

What was your book when you were a kid?

[Selma Blair]

God. Till we have faces by C.S. lewis, which really is meant for a much older girl. But it was someone that suffered. I loved Sylvia Plath. In my seventh grade years, I would go towards the drama. I loved anything. John Irving, because that was still kind of magical. And I loved anything. You know Roald Dahl.

[Hoda Kotb]

Yeah, of course. Yeah.

[Selma Blair]

May Sartin. Once I became a solitude when I was, like, 13, and that was easier for me, not realizing that maybe the Ms. Or maybe other things had caused me to have a lot of trouble being with people without sobbing. So I did become a solitude. And my mother did give Me a lot of books to help me along that way and still feel fulfilled as I retreated a bit.

[Hoda Kotb]

I can't imagine. I was thinking about your mom just now, and if I had, like, any mother, if we had missed something in our kid, if we thought they were being dramatic, if we thought this. Did she. When she learned ultimately what was happening with you, what conversation did you guys have about it, or did you.

[Selma Blair]

You know, it was small. I was going into treatment to have a really, you know, aggressive treatment, and I had told her, you know, I have ms, and I think this is a lot of the reasons when I was younger and sorry I put you through this, and sorry this was hard. And, oh, she said, oh, that's great. You have Ms. Now. Wow. They have tons of medicine for that. And I kind of felt like that. But my flare had been going on so long, since the birth of my son. I didn't know that it could remit when you're pregnant. So I felt amazing. I was like someone else's hormones in me have changed me. I no longer cry. I have energy because I was always tired. But then when I had my son, the shit hit the fan and my skin literally fell apart. Like, it started melting off me. Autoimmune stuff I didn't understand was just triggered. But that necessity made me then seek out skincare lines, and then that could also help heal me once that my body wasn't dealing with one thing.

[Hoda Kotb]

I want to talk about a lot of other things, but I think that that is an important part of it.

Because how our skin feels matters.

It doesn't matter what you're going through. What happens matters. So tell me about this line, how.

It changed you and what made you decide to, you know, be a part of it.

[Selma Blair]

Esk. It's this premium Australian line, and I didn't know anything about it except when a facialist gave it to me. All the other products that I had been trying were breaking down the barrier of my skin. And I didn't know maybe I'm putting too much on. And at the time, the Ms. Was very active, and I didn't know I had Ms. Yet. So I didn't know I had thyroid eye disease. Like, everything just. Just, you know, was like, we're gonna throw everything at you. So the skin was the least of my concerns almost, but it's like, oh, no way can I work? Like, they were open sores. It was very, very dramatic. And so I went to another place to get a facial, and she said, I really don't wanna put Any of this stuff on you, it's too active. It's amazing products. But I have this in my bag. I was just in this place and there's this calming cleanse. It really helped me. And so it was just a kindness of stranger who literally gave me something out of her makeup bag and I used it. And within a week my skin started to not burn as much. And so I found a couple other things but was still nervous. Didn't know if I could actually take care of my skin and nourish it or just calm it. And it wasn't just like some random celebrity thing. It really was so true to me that this skin care also was starting to change. I mean I had huge pores from scarring, from these boils. And it's really dramatic. But I know that anyone when your skin falls apart and you're desperate to get it back, it just seems like, oh, this will never happen.

[Hoda Kotb]

So who's it for?

Like if Mary Smith took it, it's.

[Selma Blair]

Evidence based skin care. Yes, Mary sm. There's plenty in the line. They had like a Uber a that then now turning into one of my own design, one of our own with Dr. Ginny that is like a retinal. So I couldn't use retinol. My skin would just burn too much. So it's a retinal which is this great alternative. So it has all the cell renewal, but it also is nourishing and helps with fine lines and pigmentation. It's like all their favorite products instead of packing them all in my go to bag because I'm always traveling now. It's like, God, can it be just in one and I can put it on at night because less is. Unless it's money then more than. So you know, it helps with fading pigmentation and it builds upon, you know, your college life.

[Hoda Kotb]

You look sparkly, by the way. I thought that when you first popped on, I was like, I'll have what she's having.

[Selma Blair]

Thank you. It's made such a difference.

[Hoda Kotb]

So when you were going through, let's go back again. So you go to college, you go to NYU and the University of Michigan.

You want to be an actress and.

You land some big roles.

So your mom's a judge and a lawyer and what did your dad do?

[Selma Blair]

My dad was an attorney. An attorney and my older sister's an attorney. And then my other sister is a police officer. And then my other sister's a book publicist in New York. And so I think I went out to New York. I didn't know if I'd do photography or writing or acting. And acting was the only thing I was qualified for. Turns out I was. You know, I could be a housekeeper. I clean really well. Or I decided, let's give this a try. And it was actually. I studied at a place called the Column Theater and Studio. And right when I was about to give up, I moved. My mom helped me pack my bag, and I lived at the Salvation army, which was the Parkside Evangeline women's residence, which is now, like, a very she place. But it was nice. Cause it was $150 a week. It was all women. It was like an old Barbizon School kind of.

[Hoda Kotb]

Wow.

[Selma Blair]

You know, and you could get breakfast and a key to Gramercy Park.

[Hoda Kotb]

Wow. Okay.

So you were living there and then auditioning.

[Selma Blair]

So I was living there. And I was also working at the Gap full. Mm. I needed my clothes. I liked folding. It was very calming. And so I went into this class, and it was like a studio thing. So people would come in and give you. Agents would come in and give you feedback. And this agent came in, and she was like, worst headshot I've ever seen. What are you, 1975? I was like, I know. And she's like. And that scene you did, you're like, what accent is that? And what. And that was just an example of everything not to do that was damn comedic. And then she called me in, and then she signed me, and we've been dear, dear friends ever since.

[Hoda Kotb]

Oh, gosh.

[Selma Blair]

She's a child. Agent Jana Kogan, Birth. I mean, I love her forever and her daughter, so she's family to me. But she said, you know, after a few parts, she said, go west, young woman. And so I did.

[Hoda Kotb]

Wow. Were you prepared for what was gonna happen with Cruel Intentions and Legally Blonde and how you kind.

[Selma Blair]

I'm still waiting to hit. What are you talking about? I'm still waiting to hit. It's like, no, it was the biggest thrill because I, you know, idolize those girls. And even though I was older than them, I was playing such the ingenue that it was very real. You know, I was such a goof and excited, and I got along so well with Roger Cumble, the director. So it was amazing to be a part of those. Cause I could play a child who didn't necessarily have a ton of acting experience. So the people I was kind of competing against were also newbies. You know, we weren't all Juilliard grads. Cause we were playing kids, even though I was Long in the tooth at the age of 23.

[Hoda Kotb]

So during that time you had MS, didn't know it. How was it revealed revealing itself to you?

[Selma Blair]

It would reveal itself with a lot of this crying that really was hard to deal with because, you know, God, it was hard. I would laugh and cry. My leg would go out a lot. So I was very intimidated to ever use a cane then. And I'm also like, I don't need a cane. Why do I feel I need a cane? You liar. I just wasn't dealing with these things with myself. But my balance was very off. And I remember even like Reese on my birthday being like, woo. How much of you have to drink? I'm like, oh, my God. I've been sober for two years. What do you mean? Like falling off my shoes and stuff. And I always was a gymnast as a kid, so it just never occurred to me I would ever have a neurological issue. But it would show up more. And then towards the end, when I was doing Hellboy 2, I was kind of diagnosed with leukemia there incorrectly. But just because my autoimmune went so haywire. So just as I got tired, things would show up or I'd slur my voice or I'd get tics. I thought, this is weird.

[Wayfair Announcer]

Weird.

[Selma Blair]

But it. When I finally.

[Hoda Kotb]

They diagnosed you with leukemia because I.

[Selma Blair]

Do have some blood differences, but it's totally fine. So they weren't understanding why my lymph nodes were so big and this fever and this. Then maybe cat scratch fever. They didn't. It was really strange. I was just sick. One of those things. Then I thought, oh, that must have been Lyme, you know, but it wasn't. I never had Lyme, but it was just chasing. And I thought, there's no way I'll ever find what's wrong with me. And then whenever it get really bad and I get confused, you know, that I probably drink again and, you know, hide in my house. And I wasn't a party girl drinker. It was really strictly like, I want to feel better. I'm scared.

[Hoda Kotb]

I want to feel better. To numb.

More with Selma Blair when we come back.

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[Hoda Kotb]

So this goes on.

You have a knowing that there's something up and because you've known it your whole life somewhere.

[Selma Blair]

Yeah.

[Hoda Kotb]

When does the actual diagnosis ultimately come?

[Selma Blair]

After I had my son in 2011, the fatigue never let up. I don't think the flare ever went away. The leg never stopped being numb. But really horribly once I got like sober for good and it still felt worse and I still was like, this is weird. People are asking why I'm slurring or.

[Hoda Kotb]

Why is my speech?

[Selma Blair]

But I still didn't think neurological. But finally I had to go back to work. I wanted to. I had gone through my money being disabled. And so I finally said, I got to get. I got to get an MRI because I have a pinched nerve. I can't move. I can't stay awake. I must have a pinched nerve. And when I did, went to two doctors that day. They said, no, it's just older neck, maybe in your head. And I just started to cry, and I fell asleep in the office, which was something I did often. I slept all day. And he said to my boyfriend at the time, she's sleeping. And he said, yes, she does it all the time. She thought maybe it was antidepressants. They put her on and got her sleepy, but it didn't help. And so right then, he stood me up, Dr. Jason. And he said, shut your eyes. Woke me up. Shut your eyes. Put your hands out. And he stood behind me to catch me, and I planked. I had no idea. And I still do to this day. If my eyes are, like, shut, I don't know where I am in space. So it was a rhomboid test, and he gave me my first MRI of my brain in my whole life, even though I've asked for it my whole life. So I do tell people an MRI is important. I had actually told Christina Applegate to get an MRI when I saw symptoms, and that changed my life. So I'm a real proponent of MRIs.

[Hoda Kotb]

Someone once said, once you hear the truth, if it's painful or not, your body relaxes. It's like you finally know. It's like an exhale. What did it feel like when you saw.

[Selma Blair]

I sobbed with an exhale, but I still didn't. Peace. That's what was going on my whole life. I literally thought, this is something that hit after my son was born. But then I went back in my memory, and I was like, oh, no. Look at your journal, kid. Everything's like, I can't stay awake. I can't run. Once I start to run, I trip. Like, even in high school, you know, like, it was always there, but. But it got so bad after my son was born. That's when my life got really hard. But when I was diagnosed, took me all the way till 2018 to get diagnosed, to get an Mr. Even though every day it seems I was going to a different specialist to say, how do I get energy? Like, this can't be right. I just don't Want to live. And I was like, I'm not trying to get Adderall. Like, I'm not trying to lose weight, because everything's. But I'm like, will it help? What do I do? I got to work.

[Hoda Kotb]

So once you had the diagnosis, you knew something. But what. What were your marching orders? What were you supposed to do?

[Selma Blair]

My marching orders were. He said, you have to check into the hospital right now. You need to be treated clinically. You've had this for at least 25 years. We can't. You can't tell. You know, some just won't show up yet. And I was like, weird, okay, but it's incurable, right? And he said, well, yeah. And I said, well, then it's not going to matter because I have to get on. Like, the show must go on. I have a movie that I have a part in tomorrow that I have to go. I'll be gone for three weeks. Can I do it? Then he's like, I don't think you understand. Like, your brain is on fire. And he said, no matter what you do, don't do, like, basic prednisone. We got to do a clinical dose. And I was like, oh, no, know I did today because my neck hurts so bad. And I thought to get on the plane and just coincidence or whatever, I just unraveled. And then I started with the dystonia, and everything started happening, but I'm so much better now, and. And it was funny. I mean, I gave it a try for everything, and at the time, none of those meds worked for me, but I gave it such a college try and even aggressive treatment. But thank God I did find the right doctor for me after I had had a relapse after a really aggressive treatment that I just kind of kept quiet. But the right doctor and found the right treatment, and so don't give up, you know, like, that held me and slowed my progression correctly until I could find the right one. And now I have an incredible relationship with my doctor, Regina, and it's just amazing how much you learn all the time. It's not linear.

[Hoda Kotb]

How did your Ms. Affect your son?

[Selma Blair]

You know, it was really a blessing in a way, because while I couldn't work as much as I wanted, the few projects I could fit in there, he could come with me. He was young enough, but I was home with him every day, like, it was a gift. Even though. Even though I was sick and I was wondering, like, ooh, you feel really rocky knowing that I was still the one with my son every day. And that he slept with me and he nursed way too long, but it was okay. I'm not that kind of mama. That was annoying. But I love him. I'm not a good cook, so I wanted him to have, you know, something before the cupboards were bare. So we just probably got me sicker. But he got healthier, and that also got me healthier to see how wonderful my kid is. And he really is cool. And now I'm just having little balances because the heat or whatever, he holds my hand, he makes sure I have my water. Just simple things that really move the needle.

[Hoda Kotb]

I was talking to Meredithier a while ago, and she said her husband had Ms. And she said, my husband's Ms. Made my kids bitter humans. She said when somebody drops something at another table, her kids hop up to help because they know that they're helpers, and that's part of what they do. You mentioned that Christina Applegate, you noticed something in her.

I heard you say that.

I was like, wait, what?

So what happened?

You saw Christina, and something was off.

[Selma Blair]

Our children, you know, we did sweetest thing together and had a friendship, and she's incredible fun girl and lives by me. But our children went to preschool together, so we were, you know, in each other's lives again. And I had it really fearsomely and didn't know. I just thought, oh, I'm a basket case. Like, I can't have a kid.

[Hoda Kotb]

This is really hard.

[Selma Blair]

But she seemed to be doing pretty well, and I'd lean on her for stuff because her daughter's a little older. But there did come a point where after I was diagnosed and she came over because I wasn't leaving the house so much, and I was like, ooh, why are you leaving the house? I'm like, you don't look so good. Because she was in pain. She had this neuropathy, And I was like, I had that, and I saw her fatigue, and I thought, could it be? There's no way. But I am very similar to Christina in certain ways. And I think our nervous system, like, I could just see. And she's like, don't give me that. Don't put your stuff on me. But she really did feel horrible. I was like, well, just give it a try, because I searched my whole life, and you're searching here for a while. Just give it a try. Just ask your doctor. Maybe. Maybe you should get an mri. And she did. And then the rest is her story. But it was shocking how many of us. You know, I have a lot of friends that have Ms. Now, why do you have a lot of friends that weren't comfortable coming out till this loudmouth was like, I don't know what to do, but I'm kind of tipping around. And some people are like, geez, so extreme. Selma's so dramatic. Mine was a movement disorder that got way better. And now it's hard. I was gone so long, and I'm working harder than I ever have, and I'm like, great things are happening. I'm like, wait, no, I'm doing better. I'm doing better, you know, because I think there is a lot of fear.

[Hoda Kotb]

When you came out and like you.

Said, publicly talked about it, what did.

You notice about friends, relationships, work, you know, all the things. What, what changed?

[Selma Blair]

I have to say, in the beginning, people were amazing because I had isolated so long after my son because I just didn't have energy unless there was another mom that was gonna come over. But I really was hanging on by a thread. And so people really stood up because people, you know, people actually are, you know, when asked or when they hear people can be quite heroic and loving. Even the ones that don't necessarily like you that much. You know, like people really ra and they sent food. I mean, I don't think I had to make food in two years. And thank God because I didn't have any more breast milk to feed my son. Those days were gone. So thank God for the kindness of my Hollywood friends that really stood up. But you find, like, anything, and I don't want to. Can't sugarcoat it, you know, once you're still down for a while, it does get boring. You know, there's no. The novelty wears off. People can't feed you forever. But having the push of support in the beginning really meant so much, and I saw the best in people. But yeah, then your life goes on and it's mundane and some days are better than others. But I am very lucky that I'm relapse free. I have small amounts of residual stuff, dystonia and things, but. But I'm. I'm really doing great.

[Hoda Kotb]

Tell me about why you think that is. Is it medical? Is it. Are you doing other things? What's happening here?

[Selma Blair]

I have to say I made a real choice to change my house attitude. I think I had been so afraid in life and so angry at being tired that I had kind of a piss poor attitude. Like, I'm a joyful person, but I had some things about me that were more angry than I understood. And when I made a commitment for My son for myself to try and have a much better third or second part of my life than the first. And made the documentary and kind of just documented my, like, all the great things in my life. That I have this son and that there is medical care and it might be hard like all of us. No, it wasn't free for me either. No, it didn't matter. Yes, I lose my insurance. I'm a regular person too. But my attitude changed into something really positive and playful. And I thank God for that every day because without that attitude, who knows what things I'd lean back on and that wouldn't get me feeling good, better. I think finding a doctor this time around that really listens because doctors don't have a lot of time. And you get your 15 minutes and I'm jerking around and this. And I'm like, why is this happening? And they're like, I don't know. Happens to some people with Ms. And I'm like, well, do I take something? And, you know, it's very quick. And you're like, wait, do I need that? Do I not? But no. It really helped to have a woman that understood I wanted to be there for my kid, that I wanted to look better, that I wanted to be able to calm myself. So, yeah, she made sure I ate in the morning, get a protein in me no matter what, a glass of water. And I need to exercise, and I'm not as good anymore as exercise. I don't have balance the way I used to. But I know when I don't exercise, that's when I start crying and I'm in bed. It's real. You gotta do it.

[Hoda Kotb]

I think you make a great point about kind of how the country deals with chronic illness. I think we're good with acute illnesses. It's like cancer. Get it out, your arm's broken. Put a cast on it. When there's something that's over a lifetime, all the things you're describing about what you eat, how you move, what you put in your brain, how you, you know, how you spend each day is super important.

On your terrible days, where do you turn?

Like, what do you do?

[Selma Blair]

On my terrible days, sometimes it can just be emotional too, like. Cause I couldn't jump on, like. Or the sun. I have to stay away from the sun. I'm very sun insensitive. It's an autoimmune enhancer. So, like, there's a lot of things that can bring out, like, a real wonkiness. And. And I will. I have to retreat to bed. Unless of course I'm at a work event and no matter what, I will it up at a work event. It might not be as good, it might not be as great, but I will be there sweating and all. I will do it unless I have a tourniquet on my leg, which isn't happening, you know. So I will do it, but then I will break and I do need to get in bed like someone who came up with the spoon theory. When you're done with your spoons, you got to replenish your spoons. Someone might have 20 spoons a day, I might only have six. So I do have to do time management better and and be kind to myself when it feels hard. But I am. I'm also pushing myself now, but I now also have a medical that's not just looking out for my Ms. Symptoms is now, you know, hormone replacement and all the things that I'm now paying attention to, taking care of my skin, moving the needle, feeling better, you know, all of that that I didn't have time to before.

[Hoda Kotb]

More with Selma Blair after the break.

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[Selma Blair]

I'm sick of being on the run from now on. You and me are the hunters.

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[Selma Blair]

They want to ride together, they can die together.

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[Hoda Kotb]

You changed the conversation around Ms. I know that so many people advised you to keep it secret. I had a conversation with Jamie Lynn Siegler, and she was like, I kept it secret for years. I'm sure you know, because of how people do that.

[Selma Blair]

And then I ran into Jamie Lynn and I'm like, you're the most gorgeous girl in don't keep anything secret. Wait in your time, for sure. And it was Jamie Lynn Sigler that just taught me to have some patience because I'd stand up and I'd try to get point A to point B like I used to, and I'd look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, like I couldn't figure it out. But then after we had coffee one day, I just see her, like, gently, like, just feeling her feet moving slowly. I'm like, what are you doing? She's like, taking my time. I'm like, oh, my God. I too, don't have to lurch across the room. A lot of it was my own impatience, right? And there are little tricks, and it's people like Jamie Lynn who had had it, who have so. And caring for everyone that I love. It makes me feel warm. It makes me feel warm that Christina tells her truth. That she speaks my truth on the days I don't want to because I'm busy trying to be positive.

[Hoda Kotb]

You know what? I did an interview with both of them a while ago, and Jamie Lynn said something I didn't forget. I asked her if she does other things, other than medical things to feel better. And she says, yeah. She goes, I meditate. And I said, oh, tell me about that. And she goes, well, so funny. She said, my son just came up to me the other day and said, mommy, what do you think about when you meditate? And she says, honey, I'm not supposed to think about anything, but actually I do think about something. What is it? She goes, I'm actually running on the beach with you guys. Like, running and laughing. Her son said, does that make you feel better or worse? And she said, it makes me feel better. And he said, why? And she said, because in my body, I feel all the things that one would feel when they run. Like, I have the emotions of it. And she said, it may not change.

Me, but it changes my brain.

And How I process things.

Do you do other things like that?

Meditate, any?

Whatever I do.

[Selma Blair]

I do transcendental meditation. I've been doing that since I was diagnosed. The day I was diagnosed, like, two days later, I was like, get over here. I need a trainer. And it really did give me a protected space to just be without thinking of anything and to chant. My tone makes such a difference. I need to do that twice a day. I really notice a difference if I don't, but it's. The horseback riding means everything to me. It's hard. I have to wear an ice vest because the heat, but. And I don't jump or ride the way I used to, but I still, like Jamie Lynn says, running on the beach, it's. I'm still running on the beach on my horse. And there is something about sitting down that way that helps my speech and stuff. There's certain ways I can sit, so that's one of them. That calms my nerves. Nervous system.

[Hoda Kotb]

Wow.

[Selma Blair]

I have to tell you, so I won't give up.

[Hoda Kotb]

Of course you won't. You're changing the whole game. You're doing.

[Selma Blair]

I want to do a horse show next year.

[Hoda Kotb]

Oh, you do?

[Selma Blair]

I do. That's what I'm. My goal is. So I love that. You know, I love that idea.

[Hoda Kotb]

So we call this show Making Space.

Because it's about people who make time for themselves. So on a day when you don't really have any obligations, no podcasts, nothing, your son says, I'm good, Mom. You know, if you have a full day, that's for you, you. And you could spend it any way you choose. What would you do with a day like that?

[Selma Blair]

I'd go to the beach in the shade with a new book, and I'd read it from start to finish with a great cooler of some bubbly water and fruit, and that's it. Like, just to read an entire book by the beach one day? That's incredible. Also, I like to just jump in my pool, and I'll just stay there and do flips and flips and flips, like a little kid.

[Hoda Kotb]

Wow.

[Selma Blair]

And then my son will jump in with me if he sees me, have a good time, and then I think my world is perfect.

[Hoda Kotb]

Wow. It sounds pretty perfect to me. Well, I want to say, Selma, I adore you. Thank you so much for spending some time with me. All right.

Hey, guys, thank you so much for listening and for coming on this journey with me. If you like what you heard, and I hope that you do, please give Making Space a five star rating and review on Apple Podcasts and make sure you tell your friends. Follow us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you're listening right now. Making Space with Hoda Kotb is produced by Allison Berger and Mitch Rissmiller along with Kate Saunders. Our Associate Audio Engineer is Juliana Masterilli. Our audio engineer is Joe Plourd. Original music by Jon Estes. Bryson Barnes is our headline of audio production. Missy Dunlop Parsons is our Executive producer. Libby Least is the Executive Vice President of Today and Lifestyle.

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