#134 - 24-Hour Friends

Summary

Podcast Summary: Man of the Year - Champions of Friendship Episode #134: "24-Hour Friends" Release Date: June 3, 2025

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Introduction

In episode #134 titled "24-Hour Friends," hosts Matt Ritter and Aaron Karo delve into the phenomenon of forming rapid friendships in transient settings, such as vacations or work trips. They explore the dynamics of these "speed friendships," the challenges they present, and strategies to transform fleeting connections into lasting bonds.

---

Personal Anecdotes: Spa Experiences

The episode opens with Matt and Aaron sharing personal stories about their recent spa visits, highlighting the occasional awkwardness of such environments.

• Aaron Karo recounts his experience:
  “I had a male masseuse... he gets close to your taint and your butthole and your butt crack. I like heavy pressure anyway, but is this weird that I'd rather have a woman?” ([02:16])

• Matt Ritter echoes similar sentiments:
  “My wife made the reservation with a male masseuse who had really hairy arms and felt like sandpaper rubbing on my back. Woman's touch feels nicer to the body.” ([03:12])

These exchanges set a humorous and relatable tone, emphasizing the hosts' candidness about personal comfort zones.

---

Exploring "Speed Friends"

Aaron introduces the concept of "speed friends," drawing inspiration from the movie Speed and his recent experience on a work trip.

• Aaron Karo describes his work trip in Atlanta:
  “I spent every hour with another writer for two days straight, became best friends, and he invited me to his birthday party and came up with a script to work on together.” ([08:03])

He references the intense, high-pressure environment of the film Speed to illustrate how certain situations can catalyze swift friendships.

• Matt Ritter adds:
  “I did a similar thing at a comedy festival ten years ago. We hit it off on a plane ride home and collaborated on a movie idea, but never hung out again.” ([10:36])

---

Challenges with "Speed Friends"

The hosts discuss why these rapid connections often fizzle out, likening them to one-night stands.

• Matt Ritter draws a parallel:
  “It's similar to one-night stands because you're in a situation where you might never see the person again, so you just enjoy the moment.” ([12:15])

• Aaron Karo counters:
  “Unlike romantic one-night stands, you aren't trying to get anything from the friendship version. So why not become friends?” ([13:07])

They identify a "one-night stand mentality" as a barrier to developing lasting friendships from these brief encounters.

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Strategies to Cultivate Lasting Friendships from Speed Friends

Matt and Aaron propose actionable steps to convert speed friendships into enduring ones:

1. Reframe Your Mindset:
   Matt Ritter:
   “The world is a lot smaller these days. If you resolve to become friends with that person, it's not that hard.” ([15:26])

2. Make Concrete Plans:
   Aaron Karo:
   “Instead of saying 'we should,' just make the plans. I made plans with this guy to join his birthday party, even though I couldn't attend.” ([14:00])

3. Leverage Modern Connectivity:
   They emphasize that with today's technology, maintaining contact is more feasible than ever, making it easier to nurture new friendships beyond the initial meeting.

• Matt Ritter:
  “Having a speed friendship means you've already cut down the time to make someone a close friend.” ([31:04])

4. Apply Vacation Friend Mentality to Everyday Life:
   Aaron Karo:
   “Treat every week like it's Shark Week. Be open and proactive in building friendships daily.” ([33:33])

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Listener Interaction: Akira's Friendship Dilemma

A listener named Akira poses a question about maintaining a friendship with someone whose origin story involves an awkward encounter.

• Akira's Question:
  “I walked in on my new friend hooking up with my ex while we were both staying at a friend's place. It still feels weird. Should I continue this friendship?” ([20:34])

Hosts' Response:

• Aaron Karo:
  “There's nothing wrong with the guy. It's more about unresolved feelings with your ex.” ([21:45])

• Matt Ritter:
  “Identify that something about your ex is unresolved. This guy is the best thing out of that failed relationship.” ([26:13])

They conclude that as long as there's no ongoing conflict, the friendship can flourish by focusing on the positive aspects and mutual respect.

---

Origins and Friendship Dynamics

The discussion shifts to how friends can bond through shared or even awkward experiences, emphasizing that the significance lies in the current relationship rather than the past interactions.

• Aaron Karo:
  “Have you ever heard of friends who date the same person and still become close? It's about the connection, not the means of meeting.” ([23:05])

• Matt Ritter:
  “I like having an origin story, and the funnier the better.” ([25:05])

This segment underscores that diverse and unconventional origin stories don’t necessarily hinder friendship development.

---

Terminology and Cultural Sensitivity

While discussing friendship terms, the hosts address the appropriateness of using phrases like "Eskimo brothers."

• Matt Ritter:
  “We apologize if using 'Eskimo brothers' was offensive. Learning and adapting our language is important.” ([29:40])

They acknowledge the need for sensitivity and inclusivity in language, striving to use respectful terminology.

---

Final Thoughts and Takeaways

In wrapping up the episode, Matt and Aaron reinforce the importance of being intentional about nurturing new friendships and applying the same openness used in speed friendships to everyday interactions.

• Matt Ritter:
  “Apply your 24-hour friend mentality to your everyday life to supercharge your friendships.” ([33:33])

• Aaron Karo:
  “The randomness of meeting someone can be a powerful tool for friendship if approached with the right mindset.” ([32:53])

They encourage listeners to seize opportunities for connection, emphasizing that lasting friendships can stem from even the briefest encounters when nurtured properly.

---

Conclusion

Episode #134 of "Man of the Year - Champions of Friendship" offers insightful discussions on the fleeting nature of speed friendships and provides practical advice on transforming these temporary bonds into lasting relationships. Through personal anecdotes, listener interactions, and thoughtful strategies, Matt Ritter and Aaron Karo guide listeners on enhancing their social fitness amidst a friendship recession.

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Notable Quotes:

• “It's similar to one-night stands because you're in a situation where you might never see the person again, so you just enjoy the moment.” – Matt Ritter ([12:15])
• “Why not become friends?” – Aaron Karo ([13:07])
• “Apply your 24-hour friend mentality to your everyday life to supercharge your friendships.” – Matt Ritter ([33:33])

---

Join the Conversation: Have you ever made a 24-hour friend? Share your stories and friendship questions on Instagram @manoftheYearPodcast for a chance to be featured in future episodes!

Transcript

[Fidelity Representative]

Don't just ride the index, seek to outperform it with Felc, the Fidelity Enhanced Large CAP Core ETF. Unlike passive ETFs, FELC is run by a team of experts to adapt to market conditions and pursue upside potential wherever it's hiding. And while you get the potential outperformance of an actively managed fund, you can still buy and sell it on your terms just like any other etf. Discover Felc, the Fidelity Enhanced Large Cap Core ETF part of Fidelity's suite of active ETFs. Learn more at fidelity.com felc before investing in any exchange traded fund, you should consider its investment objectives, risks, charges and expenses. Contact Fidelity for a prospectus and offering circular or if available, a summary prospectus containing this information. Read it carefully. While active ETFs offer the potential to outperform an index, these products may more significantly trail an index as compared with passive ETFs. Fidelity Brokerage Services LLC member NYSE, SIPC Summer's here and with weekend getaways, celebrations and more on your calendar, Nordstrom has everything you need for your best dress season ever. From playful prints and breezy fabrics to 70s inspired looks and bright handbags. Discover new arrivals from your favorite brands like Reformation, Veronica Beard, Farmrio, Levi's and more. It's easy too, with free shipping and free returns in store order pickup and more. Plus NordicLub members enjoy free 2 day shipping on thousands of items in select areas. Shop today in stores [e-mail].

[Matt Ritter]

Man of.

[Aaron Caro]

The Year man of the Year man of the Year welcome to the number one friendship podcast in the country. I'm Aaron Caro.

[Matt Ritter]

I'm Matt Ritter.

[Aaron Caro]

Make sure to go to manofthe podcast.com to grab our merch and watch our clips on YouTube. So Matt, I had a interesting experience the other day. I was with our good friend Christina. It was her birthday. We were at a spa and because nobody else was available, I had a male masseuse.

[Matt Ritter]

We both had a male masseuse this week. That's nuts.

[Aaron Caro]

No. Are you serious?

[Matt Ritter]

Oh. Oh my God. I didn't tell you about this. Go ahead, I want to hear.

[Aaron Caro]

So it, it, the, the, the, the, the long term of it was fine. He was, he was, he was pretty good. He was pretty good. But like, you know, I'm, I'm presuming since I know you, you also go commando obviously in a, in a massage.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

So, so no one to wear it. Right. And it's like, you know, listen, they're get, they get close to your taint and your. And your. And your butthole and your butt crack. I mean, there's no way around it. Close.

[Matt Ritter]

They're in it. These people are interspacing you.

[Aaron Caro]

And you know, it's just like. That was really the only. The rest of it. I honestly, like, it was totally fine. I didn't really think about it that much. I like heavy pressure anyway. But, you know, I'm just like. Is this weird that I'm just like, I'd rather a woman.

[Matt Ritter]

Listen, I had the same thing this week, and my wife made the resi and I was a little upset because she knows my deal. And I think I told you the one I've usually been like, Okay, I prefer a woman. Fine. But this one time we were up in. I think I told you, up in somewhere near the Bay Area, and it was a male masseuse who had really hairy arms.

[Aaron Caro]

Ew.

[Matt Ritter]

And the combo of the hairy arms and the lotion just felt like sandpaper just rubbing on my back. So it's less sexual stuff. It's not like a sexual or. Or homophobic or anything. It's just right. Woman's touch feels nicer to the body, to the flesh.

[Aaron Caro]

So how was this Malmas this week?

[Matt Ritter]

It was fine because he was real, like, soft and dainty.

[Aaron Caro]

Right.

[Matt Ritter]

But I gotta tell you this. I went to like a full spa spa in Koreatown and I took off all my clothes. And the guy goes, no.

[Aaron Caro]

This was in the massage in the locker room. A civilian said that.

[Matt Ritter]

No, the guy who gives you the key and the. He's like the mater d or whatever. The massage.

[Aaron Caro]

Mater d. And he was just standing there and you just got buck naked.

[Matt Ritter]

And he goes, no, well, there he. He gave me the key and he, like, showed me around and he said something about put shorts on and they give you these shorts. Like, you know, you have a robe, whatever. So I just put the robe on. With nothing underneath.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

And he saw me do it. It's like watching me naked put the robe on. And he goes, no, no, no, no. Put shorts on. So I guess that's one of those places where, I don't know, maybe some guys are getting a little too frisky, you know?

[Aaron Caro]

Well, I. I wore. I wore a robe over underwear from the locker room to the. To the massage room. And then. And then he, like, lifts up the blanket and then you kind of get in naked.

[Matt Ritter]

No, I know, but I don't know, for whatever reason, they make you wear shorts for that one.

[Aaron Caro]

You mean shorts? They provided you with shorts?

[Matt Ritter]

Gym shorts.

[Aaron Caro]

Like Reusable shorts.

[Matt Ritter]

Like, gross. Like, I was like, no, let's let me be me. This is disgusting.

[Aaron Caro]

What? Could you not wear your own underwear?

[Matt Ritter]

I don't know. No, I think they make you wear those shorts.

[Aaron Caro]

E. That's the over your bear.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

Going be. Ew.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, I know, I know.

[Aaron Caro]

I'm never kind of place was this.

[Matt Ritter]

It's a really nice place in Greentown. One of the nicer spas. Really bizarre.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Too many incidents.

[Aaron Caro]

It's funny because. Did we. I think we talked about this like two years ago on the pod, you know, have you ever been to an onsen?

[Matt Ritter]

No.

[Aaron Caro]

It's like a Japanese. In Japan. It's like a Japanese spa.

[Matt Ritter]

Okay.

[Aaron Caro]

Where you all go all the work, all the salary men go, and they, you know, they're naked and they're washing and it's like everyone's naked. And. And I was with my buddy. We were the opposite. We were the only ones who had like a little. What is it called? A vanity towel or privacy towel.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, you put like a little. A little. The little one. Little square.

[Aaron Caro]

No, it was a. It was pretty big. It was a bit. Was it. I mean. I'm joking. I don't know. Yeah. But anyways, we. You and I were not meant to be in spas. Basically what it comes down to.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, I was gonna say. I'm not. I wasn't meant to be a Japanese salaryman.

[Aaron Caro]

No, we were not.

[Matt Ritter]

We were not one of those guys who has to kill himself. No. You know, there's that new thing where they like wipe their entire life and get a new identity. Do you see that big article at the Times? No, no.

[Aaron Caro]

They don't get a new identity. They disappear forever.

[Matt Ritter]

Right. But don't they get a new identity? Isn't there like a guy like a Mr. Wolf kind of guy or like the Breaking Bad guy who gives you all new identity?

[Aaron Caro]

I so I know what you're talking about. It's like a huge thing. But I don't think they like, go to another place to live. I think they just like live in the woods and die or something.

[Matt Ritter]

It's unbelievable. You do one shameful thing, you have to just completely just discard your entire existence.

[Aaron Caro]

Japanese culture is insane. But also those trains on time. Amazing.

[Matt Ritter]

Efficient.

[Aaron Caro]

So efficient. Yeah. Now there's people jumping in front of them because they, you know, called their boss.

[Matt Ritter]

They do. They get it cleared. They get it cleared in records.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, yeah. They scoop it right out. I think. Yeah, we. We would be. We would be kind of like we need to like buy a Japanese subsidiary. Be the American gaijin who come in.

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

And then just enter a little. Yes, yes.

[Matt Ritter]

We get a lot of Japanese people wanting to work for our company. You know, we'd be like the, the bar stool of Japan.

[Aaron Caro]

It's interesting. You think they'd. Or you think we would be ostracized?

[Matt Ritter]

No, we'd be ostracized immediately.

[Aaron Caro]

Right, right. Because I, because you know, my, my whole big thing, I think it was a stand up that I used to do. Like let's, let's move to Spain, create a company. And our only thing we do is we don't take siestas.

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, they would jail you immediately.

[Aaron Caro]

But I'm saying we would. If we started a coffee, our coffee shop or something or.

[Matt Ritter]

Right.

[Aaron Caro]

And it was just open, we would just, we'd lap our competitors.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, there's a, there's a gap in the market from noon to three.

[Aaron Caro]

All right, well, speaking of travel, I wanted to bring this up because I recently did a work trip. I was in Atlanta. I was there for a couple days and there was another, a writer on the trip. And we basically spent like every hour together for like two days straight and became like best friends. And we're like, we gotta hang out. He invited me to his birthday party, came up with a script to work on together. Now obviously we got back and none of that happened. I didn't make it to his birthday party. We haven't worked on the script. But this idea of. Since you're the movie aficionado, do you remember what the, the, the, the conversation is at the end of Speed? Okay. Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves, they, they get out of the bus on that rolling platform and they roll into a bunch of pylons, you know what I'm talking about? And they, and they kiss and what's the line that they have there?

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, God.

[Aaron Caro]

It's about relationships. It's a call back to earlier in the movie.

[Matt Ritter]

I wish you had given me a hint that I was going to be doing movie trippy this morning.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, I mean it's, it's not like that famous a line, but he's basically, she's basically like relationships made under high pressure circumstances are doomed to fail or something like that. I mean, it was like some callback. Yeah, yeah. So that's why I was thinking we call these speed friends because A, they're fast friends and B, just calls back to the movie, which is like vacation friends. People. When you go to a birthday party of someone else, and you meet a third party, like people you become so close with, and then like, there's opportunity. Matt. Of like, do you level them up or does. Is it just a one time thing, like a. Like a romantic fling?

[Matt Ritter]

I love this topic. And speed friends, not. Not to be confused with friends you meet in the bathroom in West Hollywood doing blow or meth or speed.

[Aaron Caro]

Or speed. Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Wow. So you made a speed friend.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. And. And have. Have you. Have you ever done that?

[Matt Ritter]

I've definitely done that before. I did that at a comedy festival like 10 years ago. And it was like, for whatever reason, like, you. There's so many people. You don't always get to talk to everybody. And then like one of the guys, we kind of just like hit it off and on the plane ride home, we such a. Such a. Like, you know, we all just cliched. We did the same thing when I came up with the idea for a movie together.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. Yeah. And then do you ever talk to him since.

[Matt Ritter]

And then we. And then we never hung out again.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. Now I think. I think that these are probably missed opportunities for both of us because in this pod, we're always talking about how to make a friend, how to meet a stranger, how to level them up, you know, the different steps, how to become close with somebody. And this is kind of doing all of that in one fell swoop in one day. And one and two. Oh, wow. Tell me about your family. Blah, blah, blah. It reminds me of. Have you ever seen these things? It's kind of the new craze. It's an electric toothbrush that brushes your teeth in seven seconds. No, you stick it in your mouth. It's kind of like a football mouth guard. Electric mouth guard. And it shoots like 10 on Instagram. Yeah. And it shoots like 10 gallons of water. Like, that's like the friendship equivalent of the. Of the. Of the. Of the super toothbrush. Like, you got all the good stuff out of the way. You know, you like the person. Why do we just. Why do we. Why do we leave these people behind?

[Matt Ritter]

Okay, here's my take. Okay, here's the my. Why.

[Aaron Caro]

Yes.

[Matt Ritter]

Part of the same reason that one night stands are so appealing. It's because, you know, they're one night stands. I think that's the allure of these speed friendships. Right? You meet somebody in a situation where you know you're not really gonna see them again, and you just kind of are somewhere where you're like, outside of your normal. Like, people are judging you. People know you. You could just do. Do Whatever. And you meet somebody and you can just kind of like be this different version of yourself for a day and you do it, you have a blast and then like you're just back to your normal life.

[Aaron Caro]

It's the, the analogy. I mean the problem with that is that for the one, for the romantic situation, you're trying to get laid. We're not really trying to get anything out of the friendship version of it. And also what you're usually, it's like.

[Matt Ritter]

When you're somewhere alone and you're just looking for somebody to have fun with. So it is, you are looking for something, you're looking to enjoy the moment.

[Aaron Caro]

Right. But I'm saying like what's the right. But I'm saying if you're not going to date your one night stand, that's fine. But why not become friends with your speed friend? Like why not?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, no, I think you could. But I'm saying I think the same, the reason you're not is because you're, you're basically living under that same mindset of the one night stand of like you're, you're just enjoying this for what it is. Like, I think the reason you have so much fun is that you don't even. Maybe it's subconscious. You set yourself up in this mindset like you're probably never going to see this person again. So let's just have a great time. I think, I think that's my mindset. I think what you just did was confirming my belief because I've done the same thing, is that you actually subconsciously take the one night stand mindset to these friendships. But I think you're right. Maybe we shouldn't, maybe we should change our mindset.

[Aaron Caro]

Well, that's what I was going to say. How do we reframe that next time one of us or one of our listeners is in a vacation friend situation?

[Matt Ritter]

Right.

[Aaron Caro]

I'd say first of all, let's, let's name it, you know, let's, let's recognize that, oh, like we're hanging out with this person. I like this person. It's not just a vacation thing, you know, I do, I do want to see thing. I think that should be verbalized either sort of internally or externally. Sorry. And second of all, what about our thing about making plans? So I actually made plans with this guy. He invited me to his birthday party. I didn't go because I had a conflict. But like actually making the plan instead of, you know, we always say instead of we should. We are. Yeah, just make the plans I like that a lot.

[Matt Ritter]

I was also going to say, for reframing the mindset, the world is a lot smaller these days. It's a lot easier to connect with somebody who you just met on a vacation, whereas, like, 20 years ago, you probably weren't ever going to see them again. Now, if you actually resolve to become friends with that person, it's not that hard. Right. So the effort required to build that friendship is similar to, like, an ordinary friendship. You know, if, by the way, and in yours, the guy doesn't live in your city or he does.

[Aaron Caro]

He lives in West Hollywood. Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, amazing.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Right? Well, yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, if they don't live where you live. Okay, that's. I'm gonna put that as a whole different thing. But if they live where you. You know, if they live in your same city, then. I mean, by the way, a wedding. A wedding friend is another. You ever, like, go to a wedding and you, like, talk to the guy?

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, yeah, I. I met a guy. That's actually really funny. I met a guy. And our wives were in the bridal shower. So that day before the wedding, like, they were off for the whole day. So he and I was like. We went to the most famous pizza place in central New Jersey and, like, just, like, hung out all day and, like, had some beers and stuff and, like, you know.

[Aaron Caro]

How was the pizza, buddy?

[Matt Ritter]

Never. What's that?

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, how was the pizza?

[Matt Ritter]

What'd you say?

[Fidelity Representative]

Oh, the pizza.

[Aaron Caro]

How was the pizza?

[Matt Ritter]

It was, like, very mediocre. We were in the middle of a. A former, like, vacation destination. I forget the name of the town that, like, there's, like. People stopped going there, like, 100 years ago. It's still beautiful. It's some lake. It's really. We gotta look it up and put it in the show notes. Really?

[Aaron Caro]

What? They've got, like a. Well, they got like a Kodak factory, like, shut down or something, right?

[Matt Ritter]

Like, old. Yeah, they just have, like, old stuff around the lake and, like, nobody goes there anymore because I guess some other places got more developed.

[Aaron Caro]

Are you. Are you a pizza guy?

[Matt Ritter]

We do it every Friday in town. I don't know. Does that make me a pizza guy?

[Aaron Caro]

The same pizza place?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, just in Largemont Village. I like pizza because it's an easy, cheap meal, you know? I mean. Yeah, it's a guy. No, not really. I would say not, because I love.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, I love pizza. I could eat it every day if I could.

[Matt Ritter]

No, no, I'm definitely not if that makes somebody a pizza guy. No.

[Aaron Caro]

What's your, what's your topping?

[Matt Ritter]

Topping? Pepperoni.

[Aaron Caro]

I feel like I'm asking you questions, like, and you're from Mars. Like, these are weird questions.

[Matt Ritter]

Well, I just, I'm realizing I'm not a pizza guy. I don't eat pizza. Like, when you're like, I'm like, I don't know. Pepperoni?

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. All right, let's take a list. I, I like. Well, first of all, I like black olives because that's my favorite individual food. Domino's has individual food. Exactly. Like individual ingredient.

[Matt Ritter]

For pizza or life?

[Aaron Caro]

No, in life.

[Matt Ritter]

Black olives.

[Aaron Caro]

Yes. Like, I'll eat them out of the can just as a snack.

[Matt Ritter]

Gets weirder and weirder. This guy just gets weirder. I keep getting older and this guy keeps getting weirder.

[Aaron Caro]

You think that's weird?

[Matt Ritter]

Black olives.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Audience, please message us and tell us if you think that's weird. And also, what is your go to snack? Individual greatest snack.

[Aaron Caro]

No black olives. Forget about snacks. I don't snack either. I'm saying black olives are my favorite individual ingredients. So in pasta, on pizza, like in your quesadillas. Yeah. Yeah. All right, let's, let's take a chicken breast. That's your favorite individual ingredient.

[Matt Ritter]

No.

[Aaron Caro]

For the two whitest people who's ever lived. All right, let's take a listen, a question, then we'll come back to Fast Friends. We'll be right back.

[Fidelity Representative]

Summer's here, and with weekend getaways, celebrations and more on your calendar, Nordstrom has everything you need for your best dress season ever. From playful prints and breezy fabrics to 70s inspired looks and bright handbags. Discover new arrivals from your favorite brands like Reformation, Veronica Beard, Farmrio, Levi's and more. It's easy too, with free shipping and free returns in store order pickup and more. Plus, NordicLub members enjoy free two day shipping on thousands of items in select areas. Shop today in stores [e-mail] don't just ride the index. Seek to outperform it with FELC, the Fidelity Enhanced Large Cap Core ETF. Unlike passive ETFs, FELC is run by a team of experts to adapt to market conditions and pursue upside potential wherever it's hiding. And while you get the potential outperformance of an actively managed fund, you can still buy and sell it on your terms just like any other ETF. Discover FELC, the Fidelity Enhanced Large Cap Core ETF, part of Fidelity's suite of active ETFs. Learn more at the end. Fidelity.com felc before investing in any exchange traded fund, you should consider its investment objectives, risks, charges and expenses. Contact Fidelity for a prospectus in offering circular or if available a summary prospectus containing this information. Read it carefully. While active ETFs offer the potential to outperform an index, these products may more significantly trail an index as compared with passive ETFs. Fidelity Brokerage Services LLC Member NYSE, SIPC.

[Aaron Caro]

Okay guys, this is asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question or ethical dilemma, send it to us on Instagram. Our handle is at man of the Year podcast and we will answer on the show. Matt, take it away.

[Matt Ritter]

Okay, Akira, I think you're gonna like this one. I have a sort of new friend, but the problem is our origin story is rubbing me the wrong way. I once walked in on him hooking up with my ex and we, we were already broken up, but it still kind of bothered me. And you know, now we laugh about it, but I still feel like there's some weird weirdness there. How do I get over it? Should I be friends with my Eskimo brother?

[Aaron Caro]

So this person walked in on a stranger hooking up with his.

[Matt Ritter]

Crashing in his friend's place for the week. He said he was crashing at his friend's place for the weekend. So it was like some sort of post college confluence thing.

[Aaron Caro]

God. And his ex was there. I mean, I'm presuming we don't know. Is this guy still dating his ex girlfriend?

[Matt Ritter]

No, no, neither of them are dating her. He said they've laughed about it now.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, there's nothing in here that this. The question anchor should have a problem with. He. This guy wasn't, well, hooking up.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. Sounds like first of all, he said he still had feelings for her at the time.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, okay. Got it. Still had feelings for the time. So I mean, that is funny. Of an origin story. That is less than sort of it. It is. That is. I don't know. I mean, I guess that if he likes the guy and what are you gonna do? You can't change the past. It's not like the guy did anything to wrong him.

[Matt Ritter]

No, I agree. I agree. It is funny because it's like, does he think maybe he's just friends with him because of that? Because it's like a way to stay connected. Connected to his ex.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, I would, I would almost say the other way that like he's, he's almost like sticking it to his ex.

[Matt Ritter]

Right. I feel like there's a lot of guys that become friends over that.

[Aaron Caro]

Over hooking up with the same girl?

[Matt Ritter]

Is it that they became friends over it or that they discovered it? Because I actually know a couple of guys that they. They said all three of them had hooked up with the same girl. They're all buddies now.

[Aaron Caro]

Like, well, have you ever heard those stories of. I think there's a Facebook group called, like, are we dating the same Guy? Have you heard of this?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

And these, like, women just realize that, like, seven of them are dating the same guy, which, like, who is this, who these guys are and how they have so much time on their hands.

[Matt Ritter]

Unbelievable, Impressive.

[Aaron Caro]

And then they become, you know, good friends. And also, wasn't that the. Wasn't that the. The plot of John Tucker Must Die or something like that? Like, he's hooking up with three girls.

[Matt Ritter]

In the plot of quite, quite a few movies? Ex Wives Club.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I think that, like, similar to dating. Let me, Let me think. I'm gonna pitch you a theory, Matt. Similar to dating. Similar, I can't pronounce it, how do you say similar?

[Matt Ritter]

You never can. You never can. Similar really ties you up.

[Aaron Caro]

Similarly to dating, how you meet someone is irrelevant. It's just about meeting them. Like, when people are like, oh, we. We met on hinge, I don't want to tell anybody, literally. First of all, nobody cares. It's the ends, not the means.

[Matt Ritter]

I like that a ton. I really, really like that. It's irrelevant how you guys met, right? Because there are guys who have gotten into a fist fight and became buddies, Right?

[Aaron Caro]

I was literally just gonna say fist fight, yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

This is better than that.

[Aaron Caro]

Maybe, like, you know, strange circumstances, meeting in a weird place, like, you know, and I, I told you, my dad's one of my dad's best friends who unfortunately had passed away. He. He was, he did the. What's it called? The. He was like a presentation person at Home Depot. You know what I'm talking about?

[Matt Ritter]

Like you said a greeter. He was a greeter at Home Depot, not a greeter. He was little setups, right?

[Aaron Caro]

He did a little. Yes, yes. And my dad would go once a week and. And they started talking and they became friends for 50 years.

[Matt Ritter]

I mean, I like having an origin story, and the funnier the better.

[Aaron Caro]

That's a good point, That's a really good point. You know, my. I have a really good origin story with, with my friend. We were, we were on. We're in Israel on the Tour, this is 2018, like, on a big bus and everything, and on, like, Date. And I was kind of posted up in the back, you know, where the cool kids are. And on day three, she came back and she. We hadn't really met yet. There's a lot of people. And she's like, do you mind if I sit with you? I hate everybody else on the bus. And I was like, great line, great line, great line. Fellow comedy writer.

[Matt Ritter]

Now you're friends.

[Aaron Caro]

Now we're friends. So, origin story. Yeah, I mean, I'm trying to even like, if. If it had been his current girlfriend.

[Matt Ritter]

No, not. Not currently bothering him about it, though. There's something bothering him about it. Right. I think that's why he asked the question.

[Aaron Caro]

Right. I mean, this has less than. Right. Clearly, it has nothing to do with the guy. It has something to do with him and his ex.

[Matt Ritter]

Right, Right. I said, I think you just need to identify that, like, something about your ex is unresolved.

[Aaron Caro]

Right.

[Matt Ritter]

Nothing to do with this guy. This guy is the best thing that happened out of that failed relationship.

[Aaron Caro]

And by the way, you made a really good friend. That's. That's. That's more than most people make out of relationship.

[Matt Ritter]

A lot of people say. A lot of people say that when they break up with somebody but end up friends with somebody they met through their ex, they're like, well, at least I got this out of the relationship. At least I made this new best friend out of the relationship. That's what I got out of it.

[Aaron Caro]

Maybe for another episode, Matt, unless we can talk about it now. Like, what about when you're in a relationship, you meet the other person's friends, you became friends with them, and then you break up? Is that. Is that. Is that it for the. For your partner's friends?

[Matt Ritter]

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I mean, I've seen it play out, you know, with quite a few friends who have had, you know, breakups, divorces, whatever. I think think sometimes if the breakup is not heated, you know, if the breakup is amicable.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

There's an opportunity to stay friends with both. If the breakup is testy, it gets a lot harder.

[Aaron Caro]

Also, speaking of, you know, the greeters or whatever, the test. The test setups, this just reminded me, when you're at the grocery store, do you engage with the. With the sample people?

[Matt Ritter]

Sometimes I do, because, you know, Jesse and I did that when we launched our food product, Posh Party Platters, a few years ago. So we were those people. So I've got, you know, some feelings about that. But also, it's only if it's like, something I might want because this feels.

[Aaron Caro]

Like some, like, you like to chat. Feels like a chat that you would have.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. But usually it's like a little olive oil thing.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

You know, but if it's like, some weird food that I'm not like, I'm not into, like, the juices, like some of the, like.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Like, sodas and stuff. I'm not really into that stuff. The sugary stuff.

[Aaron Caro]

But when you got. When you and Jess were. Were Had. Had a setup like that, you weren't, like, giving out food, were you?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, we were. We were giving out free samples.

[Aaron Caro]

Right. And how was that?

[Matt Ritter]

It was fun. I mean, we were just enjoying doing something like that together, to be honest. I look back, I'm like, that was so fun. The two of us just, like, built something from scratch, like rolling up our sleeves, you know? Yeah, it was great.

[Aaron Caro]

What grocery store did you stand at?

[Matt Ritter]

The Vicente Foods in. In Brentwood.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, I don't even know what that is.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

So do we. Do we. Did we. Do we answer that question?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, I think we answered it. It's like, don't blow an opportunity to enjoy a friendship with somebody because you have some unresolved issues. Ulcer with your ex.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. I mean, and we say origin stories are fun. And also doesn't matter how you meet somebody.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. And also having an Eskimo brother, that's like goals, isn't it?

[Aaron Caro]

Should we expl. Do you think everybody knows what an Eskimo brother is?

[Matt Ritter]

Pretty sure. But. Sure, you could lay it out for them if they haven't figured out.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, you want me to ask my brother? Is. Is it. Is it only guys or. It could be. It could be girls, too.

[Matt Ritter]

I wonder what service is for. For women. Are there. Are they. Yeah. Are they escalating Eskimo sisters? Are they Inuit sisters? What's the new.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. Also, are we even allowed to say Eskimo?

[Matt Ritter]

I don't know. We apologize. If.

[Aaron Caro]

If we're using yes, we apologize.

[Matt Ritter]

Anachronistic term. Native. First, first brothers. What would you say? I don't even know.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. Okay. Well, it turns out it. I don't think we're supposed to say it. So let's. We'll. We apologize now. But we learned our lesson. But yes, that is basically when you. That someone. If you share a mutual hookup in common. I've hooked up with Jenny. You've hooked up with Jenny. Me and you are Inuit brothers. You know, if you're a woman, you hooked up with Bob.

[Matt Ritter]

That might also be offensive. I have no idea.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, crap. I mean, we're trying to be. We're trying to be good. No, I think. No, I think. Anyway, it is good. I think Inuit is right.

[Matt Ritter]

Okay. All right. Okay, you guys.

[Aaron Caro]

Okay, guys. I was asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question, send it to us on Instagram and we'll answer on the show. Matt, any final thoughts on Fast Friends, Speed Friends, Vacation Friends, One Night Friends?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, I think what you said was spot on. Like, I think we all do it and then we all drop the ball on it. And as I said, I think it's part of. Because we have the one night stand mentality attached to it. But it's like you. You've already kind of skipped past a lot of the awkwardness. I think you're missing that. You did all the work a lot, a lot. In a lot of ways, you've cut down the time that it would take to make that person a close friend.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, it's definitely a missed opportunity. I think the key is, I mean, I did get this guy's number. I may all text him today, actually, is make concrete plans. Don't look at them as just a temporary, you know, one night stand. Look at him as. As someone you could see again. You know, it's interesting that you were saying that when you are doing your thing that you're kind of. You can be whoever you want to be. Because, I don't know, I. You and I strike me as people who pretty much are the same everywhere.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. But I don't think everybody's like that.

[Aaron Caro]

Right. I can't imagine most.

[Matt Ritter]

When they're alone and they're out somewhere, trapped.

[Aaron Caro]

Right. But I'm saying, even you.

[Matt Ritter]

Probably more open to. Yeah, probably. I think we all are. I think we're all a little more open.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. There is something about, like, we've said this about ourselves. Like, you and I are together and that's great, but, like, you can't really stray within. Out of one standard deviation of anything you'd normally do.

[Matt Ritter]

Right.

[Aaron Caro]

But when you're, you know, when you're alone, you could do whatever you want. I could go and, you know, watch a Knicks game and pretend I'm a massive fan like I used to be. And no one's gonna say anything could do.

[Matt Ritter]

Right, Exactly. You could do that. Exactly. I don't know what I could do to pretend, but something.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, but it's kind of. You're a little bit. What's the word? You're a little bit less inhibited. Not you, but generally less inhibited.

[Matt Ritter]

Everybody.

[Aaron Caro]

Yes.

[Matt Ritter]

Everybody's a little less inhibited. So I think, you know, that, that I think that supercharges the early stages of friend making. So it's a really good tool. We should look at it as a really good tool.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, I think, I think that the random, the random meetup, the random vacation friend. You know, I'm about to go on vacation myself. Maybe I will see if there's any vacationing guys or girls that I can connect with. Put it to the test.

[Matt Ritter]

My final thought on that, my final thought on that is maybe you should be applying that mentality to your normal life a little bit more.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, we got it there at the end, right? Yes.

[Matt Ritter]

You should be applying your 24 hour friend, vacation friend, travel friend, uninhibited mentality to your everyday life to supercharge your friendships.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, yeah. It's like treat every week like it's Shark week. Exactly. I love it. All right guys, let us know if you've ever made a 24 hour friend. Always remember, be good to yourself. Be good to your friends. Love you buddy.

[Matt Ritter]

Love you buddy.

[Fidelity Representative]

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[Aaron Caro]

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