Man of the Year, Episode #160

22nd Annual Man of the Year Dinner

Air Date: November 25, 2025
Hosts: Matt Ritter & Aaron Karo

Episode Overview

This episode is a celebration of the 22nd Annual Man of the Year Dinner, the foundational tradition behind the Man of the Year podcast. Matt and Aaron take listeners inside the ritual that has kept their childhood friendship group going strong for decades: a yearly pre-Thanksgiving steakhouse gathering in Brooklyn, complete with a vote to crown a “Man of the Year” among their nine original friends. As comedians and “friendship experts,” they use their story to dish out actionable advice, address listener dilemmas, and make a compelling case for rituals as the backbone of lasting adult friendships.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Origin & Mechanics of the Man of the Year Dinner

• The Tradition: Every Thanksgiving week since childhood, Matt, Aaron, and seven others meet at Peter Luger Steakhouse to reconnect, overindulge, and vote on their group's Man of the Year. The winner's name gets engraved on a giant trophy, which rotates annually.
• What Makes It Work: It’s not about the trophy itself; “the real trophy is the long-term friendship.” The dinner is the anchor that ensures they gather at least once a year—no negotiation, no guesswork, just ritual.

  "The ritual has taken the guesswork out of friendship... We have an anchor in the sand." — Matt (06:30)

• Why Peter Luger: The steakhouse is iconic, cash-only, “old-school, mafia-like”; the ritual is elevated by its unwavering setting and quirky rules.
  • “We will not tolerate any Luger smears on this pod.” — Matt (04:48)
  • “The real trophy is the long-term friendship, which is why we started the pod.” — Aaron (06:12)

2. Rituals: Why and How They Work

• Anchor & Stickiness: Rituals make friendships “sticky”—hard to skip or bail on, and imbued with shared identity and responsibility.

  "We want to make them sticky. We want to make it something that, A, everybody feels is an identity for them... and B, something they feel responsible for." — Matt (11:04)

• Buy-in: Recurring dates allow partners/families to plan around them, and turn the gathering into an unmissable institution.
• Momentum:

  "Once you get past that first year or two, the stickiness level of the ritual goes way up." — Matt (12:25)

3. Practical Advice for Building Traditions

• Just Start: One person has to step up. Book the dinner, buy the trophy—others will follow.

  “One person has to just do it. Just start. Book a restaurant. Make a trophy.” — Matt (07:30)

• Custom Fit: For groups wary of competition or exclusivity, make it about gratitude, not ranking—e.g., give out communal awards, patches, or “gratitude trophies.”

  “Why can't it just be a gratitude award?” — Matt (08:30)

• Flexible Frequency: Once a year is great—quarterly or even every few years can work for non-local friends, while locals might combine group dinners with weekly rituals like Monday Night Football.

  • “Take what you can get. If you’re all local, you could do quarterly… but for high school or college friends in different cities, once a year is huge.” — Matt (13:23)
  • TC, C: “Text weekly, call monthly, see quarterly.” — Matt (14:03)

• Low Bar for Entry: Traditions don’t need to be elaborate or expensive—Monday Night Football at a bar, group texts, a goofy trophy, or matching patches all count as rituals.

4. Listener Mailbag: Changing Traditions (20:05)

• Dilemma: Listener's Friendsgiving is threatened by a proposed host/location/menu change. How flexible should traditions be?

  • Matt admits he feels “defensive” when his own hosting rituals are upended, but also acknowledges the benefits of flexibility and shared burden.

    “I like to keep it in my house... but they're doing us a favor. We've got a six-month-old!” — Matt (21:10)

  • Aaron shares a personal example: switching venues turned out surprisingly fun. “I wouldn’t blow up the tradition over this.” (22:59)
  • Key takeaway: If hosting matters deeply, communicate that. Otherwise, flexibility builds goodwill, and you can always rotate back next year.

    “It builds up goodwill when you’re flexible.” — Matt (24:41)

• Insight: Don't let logistics ruin friendships—the spirit of connection matters more than the specifics.

  • “You may do it [the new way] and realize, what a load off—I got to enjoy myself.” — Aaron (27:45)

5. Friendsgiving as a National Holiday

• Both hosts campaign for “Friendsgiving” to become official—a low-hanging, annual excuse to see your friends.
  • “It's literally called Friendsgiving. It's in the name, it's in the title!” — Matt (27:30)
• Poll results show most people do it the Saturday before Thanksgiving, but “it can be whatever works.”

6. Other Ritual Ideas

• Decathlon: Former producer’s group gathers for athletic feats—proof that rituals can get as wild as you want.

• Gift Exchanges: Gift-giving is “underutilized” among friends; even a $5 White Elephant can make things memorable.

• “Go Around the Table”: Matt’s tradition of having everyone share something, but cautions to allow prep time for gratitude-sharing moments, as not everyone is comfortable being put on the spot.

  • “I go, later in the dinner, we’ll answer this—unless you have Inside The Actor’s Studio answers ready.” — Matt (31:08)

• Potluck Logistics: Assign dishes based on people’s actual skills/preferences; cups, napkins, and ice all count.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On ritual stickiness:

  “Make it something that we all feel responsible to show up for… It's a responsibility. It's not like, oh, maybe I'll show up. No, no. You have to go to this thing, and you should want to.” — Matt (11:57)

• On inclusive rituals:

  “It doesn't even have to be a trophy… Just an object, so we can ritualize it even better. It’s the gratitude trophy.” — Matt (08:38)

• On adapting to change:

  “If you want to host every year and it’s important to you, I think you should say it and communicate it.” — Matt (25:12)

• On Friendsgiving's purpose:

  “Friendsgiving—it’s about appreciating your friends the way that Thanksgiving is about appreciating your family.” — Matt (29:55)

• Comedic moment:

  • “I brought a can of Manhattan clam chowder because my grandma was born in Manhattan… Me, while I’m allergic to clams.” — Aaron (33:18; 34:16)

Segment Timestamps

• [02:29] Show start, intro to Man of the Year dinner tradition
• [03:35] Breakdown of the Peter Luger ritual
• [04:33] How “winning” Man of the Year works; the subjective, humorous nature
• [06:30] The importance of rituals for group cohesion; “anchor in the sand”
• [07:07] Listener stories & advice: how to start your own tradition
• [10:02] Why rituals stick—buy-in from partners, establishing routine
• [11:04] Making rituals sticky and group members feel responsible
• [13:09] How often should rituals happen? Location, frequency, and flexibility
• [14:29] Low-bar rituals: Monday Night Football, group chats, fantasy football
• [20:05] Listener question: Should you let someone else host your ritual?
• [27:05] Friendsgiving as an opportunity; urging listeners to do one
• [28:23] When should Friendsgiving take place?
• [29:34] Alternative rituals: decathlons, gift-giving, gratitude traditions
• [31:23] On not putting people on the spot for gratitude exercises
• [32:14] Potlucking: why assigning dishes works (and cups & napkins count!)
• [33:18] Manhattan clam chowder story—bringing humor and realness into tradition
• [34:29] Closing: Happy Friendsgiving, reminders, and signature sign-off

Episode Takeaways

• Rituals are the “social fitness” secret—annual traditions make friendships last and deepen over time.
• Start small, be consistent, and make it sticky—even a silly group text or rotating dinner counts.
• Adaptability matters—rituals can evolve and still serve their community-building purpose.
• Friendsgiving is an outstanding, easy way to connect—use it!
• Communication is key—when rituals are threatened or challenged, respectful conversation preserves goodwill.

In the Words of the Hosts

“The real trophy is the long-term friendship.” — Aaron (06:12)
“Make the tradition sticky enough that you just can’t skip it.” — Matt (11:04)
“Start something. Make it real. You’ll be amazed how it snowballs.” — Matt (07:30)
“Friendsgiving is the lowest of low-hanging fruit.” — Aaron (27:18)

For more rituals, tips, and stories:

• Podcast: Man of the Year
• Social: @ManOfTheYearPodcast
• New on Audible: The Buddy System—your social fitness guide