#179 - Drinking Buddies

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Man of the Year – Champions of Friendship

Episode #179: Drinking Buddies
Hosts: Matt Ritter & Aaron Karo
Date: April 7, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the complex role of alcohol in adult friendships. Matt and Aaron explore whether “drinking buddies” is a healthy friendship dynamic, discuss their own experiences with booze-centered socializing, and field a listener’s concern about recurring messy wine nights. Key themes include the social function of alcohol, generational shifts in drinking habits, and how to handle group traditions that revolve around drinking.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Messy Cars & “No Sand Science” – Setting the Scene

• [00:50]–[02:53] The hosts open with stories of their kids and the chaos of keeping things (like new cars) clean, segueing from “no sand science” as a failed attempt to keep a car sand-free to junk science in general.
• Notable Quote:
  • “No sand science is...honestly, it’s a pretty good segue to what we’re going to talk about. It’s hokum.” – Aaron [02:53]

The Alcohol-Social Connection: Is Booze Good for Friendship?

• [03:00]–[07:43] Matt and Aaron discuss recent changes in government alcohol guidelines, referencing Dr. Oz and Scott Galloway’s controversial comments about alcohol as a “social lubricant.”
  • Dr. Oz is cited for arguing that alcohol brings people together and combats loneliness.
  • Scott Galloway says, “People need to drink more...people got to get together, you have to have a messy night.”
• Matt’s holistic perspective:
  • “There’s not just one variable in life...if you never leave the house, less likely to catch a cold. You’re also less likely to have any friends and probably more likely to go insane.” [04:24]
• Is alcohol the center of adult socializing?
  • Both hosts confess most of their group traditions involve drinking.
  • “[If] we went to the Super Bowl and we weren’t drinking, I think it would be...less fun.” – Aaron [06:14]

Moderation, Social Pressure, and Making Friends Without Drinking

• [07:43]–[08:59] They recognize that alcohol isn’t necessary for fun but acknowledge its prevalence as a social glue.
  • Day drinking vs. night drinking debates; Matt claims he’s “not a big day drinker,” Aaron loves it.
• Trends among younger generations:
  • “The trend is, obviously, the kids are drinking less and doing more drugs...I think they’re just not doing anything.” – Aaron [11:29]
  • “If they drank more, they would be socializing more. It’s a correlation.” – Matt [11:56]
• What about non-drinkers?
  • As adults, Matt finds it “very easy to not drink if people are drinking,” but admits it was harder when younger. [12:17]
  • They muse about the growing popularity of zero-alcohol drinks.

The Placebo Effect and 'Holding a Beer'

• [13:12]–[16:01]
  • Non-alcoholic beers/cocktails are discussed—do they fill the same social need? Is it the “holding a beer” effect?
  • Aaron’s dad loves Guinness Zero and Peroni Zero.
  • “Sometimes just holding a beer for me makes me feel like I’m social.” – Matt [15:50]
  • “You’re literally the ‘hold my beer’ meme.” – Aaron [16:01]

On Loneliness vs. Drinking

• [16:05]–[16:39]
  • “I agree with Galloway that people need to go out more because loneliness is worse than...well, it’s not worse than alcoholism, but it’s worse than, like, moderate drinking for sure.” – Matt [16:05]
  • The hosts half-jokingly rank moderate drinking, loneliness, and alcoholism, deciding that moderate drinking > loneliness > alcoholism. [16:33]

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Listener Question: When Wine Night Gets Messy

The Dilemma

• [18:47]–[19:46]
  • Listener writes in about a monthly “Wine Night” with couple friends. It’s fun, but recently it’s turned into a booze-fueled event where everyone overindulges, leading to regret and damage control in the group chat the next morning.
  • “I really love these people, but I’m not sure I love who we are the morning after Wine Night. What do I do?”

The Hosts’ Insights

• Wine sneaks up on you:
  • “Wine, you can get hammered quickly without realizing it.” – Matt [20:27]
  • Moderation is hard when drinking at home; “Don’t open that other bottle.” [21:15]
• Decanter Mold Dilemma:
  • Amusing digression into the practical struggles of cleaning a wine decanter. [21:44–22:07]
• Generational changes:
  • Winery staff have noted younger people aren’t drinking, older people face health issues, and there’s an inventory glut. “He was like, these are kind of tough times.” – Aaron [23:13]
• Advice for the listener:
  • Communicate with the group: “Hey, let’s not open that second bottle. Anybody else feeling wrecked afterwards?” – Matt [24:11]
  • Suggest activities to slow the pace, like playing games or switching from wine to cocktails.
  • Try a new tradition: “Let’s do something different, go bowling, go to a museum, etc.” – Aaron [25:13, 29:38]
  • “As an adult, you’re supposed to be able to socialize without alcohol.” – Matt [29:07]
  • Find your personal limit, and don’t be shy about changing your own behavior—even if you’re the only one drinking less.
  • “There’s nothing wrong with nursing one drink for five hours...literally no one even knows.” – Aaron [31:03]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “No sand science is...it’s hokum.” – Aaron [02:53]
• “Does [alcohol] help with socialization? Definitely, right? I mean, is that like arguable?” – Matt [04:24]
• “Sometimes just holding a beer for me makes me feel like I’m social.” – Matt [15:50]
• “Loneliness is not worse than liver failure...It goes moderate drinking, then loneliness, then alcoholism.” – Matt & Aaron [16:25–16:37]
• “Don’t open that other bottle. That’s your answer. End of pod.” – Matt [21:13]
• “As an adult, you’re supposed to be able to socialize without alcohol. You are supposed to be able to do other activities.” – Matt [29:07]
• “There is nothing wrong with going to an event or a party and nursing one drink for five hours.” – Aaron [31:03]
• Lollipops digression: Matt muses about adults with lollipops as (possibly) ex-smokers, leading Aaron to respond: “Don’t drop this [lollipop] question on me with one minute left!” [31:33]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:53] – “No sand science” and segue into alcohol/socialization discussion
• [04:24–07:43] – Government guidelines, Dr. Oz, Scott Galloway, and alcohol as a social lubricant
• [11:44–12:06] – Are young people drinking/socializing less? Causation or correlation
• [13:12–16:01] – Non-alcoholic beer and the psychology of “holding a beer”
• [18:47–24:03] – Listener wine night dilemma, why wine sneaks up on you, what to do about group drinking traditions
• [29:07–31:03] – Advice on setting boundaries for drinking, being the “sober” friend, and alternatives to wine night

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Tone & Style Highlights

• Relatable, conversational, lightly comedic throughout
• The hosts’ banter includes self-deprecating takes, pop-culture references, and gentle ribbing
• Advice is practical, zero-judgment, and often laced with humor

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Main Takeaways

• Alcohol has long played a role as a social lubricant in adult friendship groups, but it’s not the only route to connection.
• Changing your relationship with alcohol (or suggesting moderation to your group) doesn’t have to be awkward, and the hosts recommend honest communication and trying out alternative group activities.
• “Nursing” a drink is a valid social strategy for non-drinkers or those wanting to cut back, and peer pressure isn’t as strong as people might think—especially as adults.
• Traditions evolve, and it’s okay to outgrow heavy drinking rituals or reshape them to better fit your present life.

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For more friendship hacks and stories, find Matt and Aaron on Instagram: @ManOfTheYearPodcast or at ManoftheYearPodcast.com.

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Transcript

[A]

Foreign.

[B]

Of the year.

[A]

Man of the year. Man of the year.

[B]

Welcome to the number one friendship podcast in the country. I'm Aaron Caro.

[A]

I'm Matt Ritter.

[B]

Guys, make sure to go to audible.com, the buddy system, to listen to our award. I said award winning. Award winning. Yeah, we won some awards.

[A]

I think so.

[B]

Best selling Audible original, the Buddy System. And go to manoftheyearpodcast.com to grab our merch. And if you watch our episodes on YouTube, YouTube.com Many of your podcasts, you'll see that I'm wearing our merch right now. One of our hats. Recently, I asked Matt if he was going to wear his we should be friends shirt. And he goes, no, it's destroyed or something.

[A]

It's just. God, vomit. Everything I wear has vomit on it.

[B]

How is. Because you got a pretty fancy new car destroyed or.

[A]

No, no. So we put towels around the seats, under the car seats.

[B]

Oh, the towel around the car seat. That's foolproof.

[A]

Well, it is for a little baby. I mean, that they don't only go. They get in there. There's only so much of, like, a spray range that they could do.

[B]

I mean, printers, he's got range, the kids got range.

[A]

But Julian had straw. Had res. Raspberries are the killer.

[B]

Oh, those, Those. Those get stuck in the crevices.

[A]

No, I'm just talking about in terms of spreading, like, the ink stain.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Like, we have a white bed sheet and he had a little on his face. We thought it wiped it off. He had it all over his out as a little onesie, and it's just all over the bed.

[B]

Did I ever tell you that, I don't know, maybe two years ago, I just got a new car and I was in San Diego with our great friend Christina and her husband Tony, and they're like, we're gonna go to the beach. I'm like, oh, great. They're like, but our car, you know, we're only here for the summer. We don't have our car. So you have to take us to the beach. And our kids.

[A]

Okay. Doesn't want to use his car because they're sad. No way.

[B]

I'm like, this is a brand new Mercedes. You have two kids. I am not going to the beach. Absolutely not.

[A]

Tara said a hard no.

[B]

Hard no. And. And Tony, who. Who admittedly is. He's got ocd. Like, he's like. He's a. He's a kro, not a mat. He goes, trust me, I have something called no sand science, because I don't Want my kids to get sanded our car. So trust me, I do. The crevices that you're. You know all the things, and there will be no sand in your car. I'm like, I trust you. We go to the beach. Tony runs into the water to surf, rips his Achilles. We have to pull him out so he doesn't drown. No science. Sands out, put him in the car in his wetsuit because he can't take it off. Sand everything.

[A]

Oh, my God. Did you just get. Did you just return the car? Should have just returned the car. Ruined.

[B]

No sand. Science is. It's, it's. Honestly, it's a pretty. Yeah, it's a pretty good segue to what we're going to talk about. It's hokum.

[A]

Yeah. Well, it's a nice sounding phrase. Yes, it sounded nice. Yes.

[B]

So speaking of what's. What's the word when it's like the science is junk. Yeah, junk science. Pseudoscience. Dr. Oz, who is he? Is it a head of something? Health and Human Services.

[A]

He's. He's. What is he doing? He is doing something.

[B]

He's doing something. We're not going to get the politics, but he, he recently said, you know, the US Government changed their alcohol guidelines. They actually have no more guidelines of how much you should or shouldn't drink.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And they're not saying it's good for you, but they're saying, you know, they got rid of the guidelines. And Dr. Oz says, Listen, it's a social lubricant and it gets people together. And obviously loneliness is something. Matt, you.

[A]

Yeah, I like this.

[B]

You then told me about the Scott Galloway clip, which I had not seen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Scott Galloway is also saying, listen, people should drink more people, like people need. He was saying it like, people got to get together. You have to have a messy night. He's not saying, like, get behind your car or whatever, but I think both of them are just saying people are sitting at home by themselves on social media. Let's get out and have some fun. So I figured we should talk about booze in the concept, the context of friendship.

[A]

Yeah, look, I think people are weighing everything incorrectly. Like, you know, there's not just one variable in life. You know, when you say, oh, like this thing, you know, if you do this, you're going to be X healthier by this percentage. But that doesn't factor in holistically, every other aspect of your life. You know, like, hey, if you never leave the house, less likely to catch a cold. Right. You're also Less likely to have any friends and you're probably more likely to go insane. So, you know, the alcohol thing, it's like, does it help with socialization? Definitely, right? I mean, is that like arguable?

[B]

Well, yes. Okay. Is that arguable? Arguable? Well, I think one might if you were taking the opposite position, that it's not the right kind of socialization, that it's a crutch, it's rife for abuse. Like someone, someone in the Dr. R's article, some expert said most of the harm that comes from alcohol, said one research researcher, is due mostly or mainly to drinking with your buddies.

[A]

Okay, okay, fair, agreed.

[B]

Well, I think we would say, I don't know, more than 50 of the time when the boys are together, we're drinking. Is that, is that a problem?

[A]

I don't think so. I don't know. You know, I'm thinking about this. Like, look, do, do you need alcohol to make friends? No, I don't think so. You know, but like, is there anything wrong with. The real question is like, is there anything wrong with alcohol being the center of your social life or being a big part of it? That's really what you want to talk about, right?

[B]

Yeah, because I think it's tough because we, we our friend group, you know, alcohol, I don't say is the center. That makes it sound so bad. But like, you know, when you do stuff at night or on the weekend, you're usually having a drink. And I think it, it's helpful. You know, I think it's fun. I think, you know, everything in moderation. But it's like if we went to the super bowl, when we famously went to the super bowl and we weren't drinking, I think it would be like 12. Less fun.

[A]

Yeah, it would be a certain percentage less fun, I think. Are we pro alcohol?

[B]

Well, Dr. Alcohol Lobby, is it?

[A]

Were we hired by an unnamed soon to be installed into the ad, you know, dynamic ad insertion.

[B]

Well, dude, by the way, our, I bet you our ad insertion is going to be athletic greens, non alcoholic or whatever.

[A]

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right. They don't know what we're talking about.

[B]

I. By the way, what ads now not on our pod, some sometimes on our part are in Spanish. Have you ever gotten that?

[A]

Yes. Well, I think it's location based. Location based. I'm not sure what it is. So. Yeah, look, first off, alcohol is part of socializing. Not always, but it's a part of it. You know, it's not really like a big part of it. When I go to kids birthday parties at noon.

[B]

But don't you wish it was.

[A]

I'm not really a big day drinker.

[B]

Day drink is my favorite activity.

[A]

I get so tired.

[B]

Oh, Matt, I saw this thing on TikTok. You'd love to. These kids, maybe they're one. They're fraternal twins.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

The parents threw them at frat themed first birthday.

[A]

That is hilarious.

[B]

So like their letters are written, their names are in Greek letters. That little, little mini red solo cups with that ice cream in it or whatever.

[A]

Amazing.

[B]

Yeah, it was great.

[A]

A little keg.

[B]

Yeah, a little keg. I. I just love a day drink. You get so tired. But is that different, Matt? You. You complain about getting tired at night.

[A]

This is true. I get tired. Yeah. No, I mean, look, I'm just saying, like I'm thinking now. Yeah, I mean, I think. Listen. Yes. I think adults. What percentage of adults you think? Well, you probably have the stat somewhere, but like what percentage of adults drink three times a week or whatever? What's the

[B]

ask? 30 to 35%.

[A]

Yeah. So look, most people. Most people, you know, that's a part of their social life now. I don't know how many of them do it to moderation or to excess or whatever. You know, I did this dad's meetup in the neighborhood, the deal for the large one. And we went to tacos too. Madre. But it was only like an hour and a half meetup, so. But everybody at night at 8, 8 o', clock, you know.

[B]

Yeah. What day of the week?

[A]

On Tuesday, everybody was drinking.

[B]

Yeah. Let's step back for. Sorry. Sorry.

[A]

But I was thinking like we could definitely do. I was just thinking about it because like, I don't want all these meetups that we're doing to involve alcohol.

[B]

Do you ever think just like we drink a liquid that like gives us euphoria, like is how weird it is,

[A]

is that it's been since the beginning of time.

[B]

I know. And like they've been rubbing bushes.

[A]

They've been rubbing bushes together to hope in the hopes of getting messed up. Burning berry. Burning berries over a. Over a hot fire in the hopes of. That the juice of it will make you feel.

[B]

Eating those. Eating those. What is it? Is it cacao leaves or something?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What is it?

[A]

Elderberry. Since the beginning of time. Just.

[B]

And then we go to a bar where the upsell, you know, to get it. To get an ounce of liquor is, you know, $12 or more. All right, let's. Let's put aside the moderation for A minute, because I have a listener question about. Let's just say you're drinking it normal amount or you're not a problem drinker. I think that if you know people in your group drink or you're looking to make new friends, like, it is a social lubricant. You're, you know, you and I always talk about, like, you try to go to an event or a party, and then you don't want to talk to anybody because you don't know anybody, and you're in the corner and whatever. And you and I both experience that even as extroverts. You know, you have a couple. They call it liquid courage for a reason. You're a little uninhibited, a little more friendly. It's not a bad.

[A]

It does work. That's the thing. Like, there's a reason you're talking about for thousands of years. Like, it's effective. It's always been effective. It's always been effective as a social lubricant. The best one that we've ever come up with. No,

[B]

I. I think so. I mean, I think because, you know, the trend is obviously the kids are drinking less and doing more drugs. I think they're. I think they're just not doing anything. I think they're also. Say that again.

[A]

They're not socializing as much.

[B]

Exactly. So do you think it's causation correlation?

[A]

Well, I think, you know, you're saying, are they socializing less because they're not drinking as. As much.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

I think they're. So. No, I think they've been socializing less for, like, a million different reasons, but I think if they drank more, they would be socializing more. It's a correlate correlation.

[B]

It's a. It's a. Yeah, because, I mean, I guess we could also talk about, like, what do you do if you don't drink or if it's not as important?

[A]

Well, that's the thing. Like, do you have to look, do you have to drink to, you know, fit into social settings where everybody drink? I don't feel that way now as an adult, but I think I did when I was younger. Like, now I find it very easy to not drink if people are drinking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I'll be honest, it was very hard.

[B]

I did have a zero the other day.

[A]

What was it?

[B]

I don't know. It was a peroni zero. Oh, really? Let me. Let me ask you this. Appreciate this. I was with best friend Mike, and he's like, you. He's like, you want to Get a quick drink. I'm like, okay, sure. He's like, but I'm not drinking. I'm like, you asked me to get a drink.

[A]

He's asked you to go out and socialize.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. So then we both had a Peroni zero. And we were. We were sitting at Craig's, actually. So you're out. You're out and about. You're doing your thing. I don't know you and I always say we'd rather just drink water. I don't know. I guess. Am I coming around to it?

[A]

Did you like it? I mean, it's huge. Do you. Okay, so are people drinking it because they like the taste or they like the idea of, like, the. Because it's hard to go to a bar and not do anything. Like, is that what's going on? Like, because they like going out to a social place and, like, holding a. A beer. Like, what exactly is going on there?

[B]

I'm not sure, because my dad is drinking them at home.

[A]

He's drinking Coke zero. Peroni Zeros, Guinness zero.

[B]

She's obsessed with them.

[A]

Wow. Well, Guinness has, like, a particular taste, so that's a little different. Yeah, people like that sludge. Do you like Guinness?

[B]

What'd you say?

[A]

Do you like Guinness?

[B]

You know, it's like, it's become very trendy. So, like, you know about splitting the G, right?

[A]

I taught you that.

[B]

No, you didn't teach. Tick Tock taught me that.

[A]

Well, I. I did it, like, six months ago, and I was like, do you know about this? And I guess it wasn't to you. And you're like, yeah, it's Tik Tok bit.

[B]

Did you. Did you get a video of it?

[A]

Yeah, I was nowhere near it.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. God. What. What kind of. What. What a world. What a whirlwind D. Did you get a video of you drinking the sip of beer in this dumb way?

[A]

I know, I know. By the way, it's a lot more. You have to drink a lot more than you think to split the G. Okay.

[B]

It's good to know. I've never tried it, but I think what you were about to say was, when you're drinking a zero, it's a. It's a pint. It's like, you wouldn't get a pint of water. Actually. Maybe you would. I don't know.

[A]

Who.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

But what's the. Right. So I just don't know what the appeal is. But you did it. You did it. You went out, you had it. But did it feel like the same? Okay, but from a social aspect, did it feel the same?

[B]

I mean, it was weird because he also wasn't drinking. So it's just like I would feel weird if I was drinking.

[A]

Right. But did he have a Coke Zero? A Peroni 02?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Right. I'm saying, did it feel like the same vibe?

[B]

Yeah, it was good. I mean, honestly, I would have had a. I mean, I guess we were sitting at the bar at Craig's. Weird to sit at a bar and just like have a water. We were eating.

[A]

That's what you say it's weird to have a water. So I think that's part of it. It's like, because it's just weird to sit at a bar and have a water. So now they've created these non alcoholic cocktails where you can basically have the same experience, but the question is whether does the placebo effect in play? Can you, can you make yourself believe that this is a, you know, you're drinking like a alcoholic beverage? I don't know.

[B]

I bet let's, let's do an experiment one day. I bet if we had a party and you put nonalcoholic beer out and people drank it, they would still get drunk.

[A]

That's what I'm asking. Like, I think just, it's the setting and the feeling of like, sometimes just holding a beer for me makes me feel like I'm social.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. You're literally the hold my beer meme.

[A]

Yeah, just hold my beer. So, you know, I. Look, I, I guess I agree with Galloway that, like, people need to go out more because loneliness is worse than, well, it's not worse than alcoholism, you know, but it's worse than like, you know, moderate drinking for sure.

[B]

Should we. Loneliness? No, loneliness is not.

[A]

Loneliness is not, is not worse than liver failure.

[B]

Right?

[A]

It goes, it's worse than like, you know, occasional liver flush.

[B]

Right? It goes, it goes. Moderate drinking, then loneliness, then alcoholism.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Take a listener question.

[A]

Let's do it.

[B]

All right, we'll be right. We'll be right back with a listener question.

[C]

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[B]

Okay, guys, this is asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question or ethical dilemma, send it to us on Instagram at Man of the Year podcast and we will answer it on the show. All right, this this a real banger. Matthew, this is right up your alley. And he says as much. Hi Matt and Caro. Love the pod. I have a question for asking for a friend. I have a good group of couple friends. I know Matt will appreciate that, but Caro won't, which is expensive. We also have a monthly ritual. Okay, that's good. It's called Wine Night. Okay. We gather at one of the couple's houses and you guessed it, drink a lot of wine. It's super fun. However, recently Wine night has turned into at least a bottle of person and some sharing. The next day, the group chat is full of damage control and half jokes about what we said. I really love these people, but I'm not sure I love who we are. The morning after wine night, what do I do?

[A]

Just going a little over the edge, huh?

[B]

You ever do a wine with your swinging couple friends?

[A]

A man looks into the abyss. Oh, my God. Look, I feel I've had a few of those, you know, where it's like, even in your. You're like, oh, we're just. We're just having a. We're just having wine at the house. And then you end up drinking more than you would have if you went out.

[B]

I. I have a question. You and Jess ever just kind of either on purpose or accidentally get drunk?

[A]

Have you ever seen Jess ever get drunk, period?

[B]

No.

[A]

Does she drink in the most moderate ways?

[B]

Right. Yeah.

[A]

So I've. I found that, like, wine, you can get hammered quickly without realizing it.

[B]

Wine, you could get hammered quickly without realizing it.

[A]

Yeah, because, like, it's only. It only takes, like, two glasses of it. You know what I mean? Whereas, like, beer, you'd have to drink, like, a certain number of them.

[B]

Yeah, but. But I would say that wine goes down a little less quickly. And then a beer.

[A]

No, I can't drink. Takes me five hours to drink one beer. Wine. Ten seconds.

[B]

Okay. All right. So, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So, look, I feel like I definitely relate to this, like, why night is. It's dangerous. Like, oh, we're just gonna split a bottle of wine. That's a lot of wine.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And then you do it, and you're like, oh, let's open another bottle. No, don't open that other bottle. Do not open that other bottle. That's your answer. End of. End of pod. We're done. That's your answer. Hey, we're gonna. Should we open another bottle? Let's open up. No, nobody. Nobody really does. Actually. Actually, everybody would wake up the next day much happier if he didn't open that next bottle.

[B]

Matt, do you guys have a. What's the word when you let the wine breathe?

[A]

Decanter.

[B]

Decanter. You have that?

[A]

So we have one. But we had this thing where, like, we would always end up getting mold at the bottom because you can't, like, get in there to clean it properly.

[B]

Oh, interesting.

[A]

I mean, I want to know, do any listeners have this decanter mold problem? And how do you deal with it?

[B]

Wow. We haven't had Mr. Relatable on for a while.

[A]

Is that that. I mean, it doesn't have to be an expensive bottle of wine. I mean, it kind of does it again, but.

[B]

Yeah. I don't think you put two Buck Chuck in it.

[A]

No, you don't. But I find Also with wine, like, I've noticed a lot of people are having, like, I have acid reflux now. A lot wines, like, talk to a lot of people. They're dealing with that. People are taking it easy on the wine.

[B]

Is acid reflux the same thing as, like, heartburn? It's different.

[A]

I think it's the same thing.

[B]

You feel it in your chest.

[A]

Yeah. It's just your esophagus. It's coming up.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, God. What do we do? Why do we. Why do we do this to ourselves?

[A]

Right, Exactly. So. Well, when we went to Los Olivos, Jesse and I, they told us they're struggling because the younger kids aren't drinking, which we talked about. But the other thing is older people. He didn't say what age, are struggling with health. And they're not getting. They realize now there's no benefits to wine drinking. And. But they also have, like, a inventory. He was like, they also have an inventory of wines that they've built up. People who are, like, actual winos, and they're just like, we don't need any more new ones.

[B]

So the guy, the proprietor of the winery was like, these are kind of tough times. As the younger generation. Less drinking. The old generation is, like, also less drinking.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's the middle, basically. You're this. You and Jess are the sweet spot for that.

[A]

We're the only people still going at it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But again, I'm saying I'm aging out of it. I'm already, like, feeling it. When I do this wine night that he's talking about, when I do that, I feel terrible.

[B]

Right. Well, do you ever. I mean, if you have a cup. If you have a dinner party, and you. You and Jess love to do dinner parties, do you always drink wine? You have a cocktail or bourbon?

[A]

I will sometimes make a cocktail for everybody before. Like, when they get there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then usually it's wine with dinner.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

I think that's the standard. Right. One cocktail wine.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so what do we. What advice do we have? This guy. So this wine night's getting out of control. They're about to have a orgy.

[A]

Yeah. So, I mean, again, we always say more communication. Right. So throw it out to the group of, like, hey, let's not open that second bottle. It's too much. Anybody else feeling wrecked afterwards, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or again, you know, you could propose the. You know, you could propose the switch out. You know, meaning, like, hey, you want. You guys want to try something different instead of, like, three bottles of wine. You want to just, like, do a signature cocktail, see if that, like, slows down the pace of it. It sounds like he's just worried about the amount. Every time they do the wine, they get wrecked, which I think is a real common problem. I'm telling you, wine just. You open two bottles, and you're just massively wrecked.

[B]

But you also keep saying two bottles. I mean, this is multiple couples. I mean, you're saying two bottles a person, two bottles.

[A]

Well, I'm saying if you're four. If there's four of you and you open one.

[B]

I think there's several couples here. Yeah. Number one, you could also do something that's not. You could move, go to another location. Like, we're gonna. We're gonna do bowling. I mean, you could still get drunk there, but, like, we're all gonna, you know, do brunt. You know, do something else that's not sitting around drinking.

[A]

I'll be honest. If you go there and not drink, you're not gonna have fun.

[B]

No, but I mean, a different activity.

[A]

Yeah, no, I agree. You want to propose a different night? You want to propose a bowling?

[B]

Yeah. I mean, it sounds so bore. I mean, it sounds so boring. But, like, okay, how about this? Is there anything, Matt, at the event at wine night that could slow you down? Like, if you're like, we're gonna play Trivial Pursuit or that just makes it.

[A]

Yeah, well, I think that's true, too. Right? I think if you want to slow down the pace of the drinking. Yeah, I think you're right. Having an activity could slow down the pace of the drinking.

[B]

I don't know. Or it could make it worse. Like, when you're doing something else.

[A]

Right. Sounds like, here's what's going on. Sounds like he's with heavy drinkers. And, like, you know, look, there's two things, right? It's like, one, you could figure out ways to, like, just go, look, I'm. I'm. First of all, you know, you could just stop drinking. You know, like, I was just gonna

[B]

say that him and his wife could just be like, we're gonna secretly drink half.

[A]

Yeah, right. You could just secretly drink half or openly drink half. But again, like, I think it's easy to do it openly. Just be like, yeah, I think we're going to. We're not. We're not. We're not. We're good with the. I don't think it's that hard to tell another couple or another group of couples. Like, yeah, we're slowing. It Down. We had an early morning. We're. We're having a fitness month. Like, I see this all the time, people now. Like, not just, you know, sober January or I'm sober now. Like, I don't think it's that hard anymore. I think it used to be harder to just be like, yeah, I'm not. Not drinking heavy.

[B]

Did I ever tell you the story of when I went with my family to an all inclusive resort? This is, I don't know, 10, 12 years ago. The Krosu went. I think it was Cancun or something. It was all inclusive. And, you know, what does one do if you're a mid-30s single guy, you're an all inclusive resort. I'm cracking beers at 11am, getting blackout

[A]

reappears.

[B]

But not just like, you know, you're.

[A]

You're.

[B]

And also like, you wouldn't. Well, I don't. I don't really know what your general talents is, but like, I could throw back a decent amount in the hammock. Who's lightweight?

[A]

I am.

[B]

So I'm sitting in the hammock, I got a beer just on my gut, you know, as one does. It's 11:30. My mom comes over, she goes, I'm worried about you. And I make a very egregious strategic mistake. And I'm just like, what are you talking about, Mom? This is normal. And she's like, this is normal. This is how you drink when I'm not here. You have a problem. We're cutting you off. Give me your. The key. Because the key, you know, and like since then, it's literally been like 12 years. Like, I can't drink a beer before noon in front of her else. She's like, oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You tainted the well.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And I just meant it's normal to like, relax and have a good time, Mom. But she was just like, how dare you.

[A]

Oof. You judge. The judgment has been. The die has been cast.

[B]

The die has been cast. I think ultimately, Matt, your solution is the right solution, which is I don't even think you have to say anything. No one's going to notice that you're having half a glass when it.

[A]

Right. But that. That's not. But that's not. May not be the real right. Is the issue that you, like, you just don't want to drink as much, or is the issue you're just not having fun in this setting?

[B]

It seems like it's kind of like spiraling into everyone's like, getting a little too messy, right?

[A]

And maybe you're realizing, like, this isn't. I've outgrown this. I'm not into. Listen, a lot of people are sober now and they don't, they don't need, you know, they don't need it. They don't want it in their lives. And like, maybe that's what you're going through and that's totally fine. And again, like, as an adult, you're supposed to be able to socialize without alcohol. You are supposed to be able to do other activities. I'm not. You know, again, we started this episode by saying, yes, alcohol works, obviously.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That doesn't mean other things don't work. Yeah.

[B]

I think that's also good advice. You could just say, listen, hey, me and the Mrs. Were doing dry January. And.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And if they make fun of you, say you.

[A]

Right. And then you go. And then I think you do it with drinking less or drinking not at all. And see how you enjoy it.

[B]

Yeah. You could also. I was thinking about. What do you think about this? Cut the group down a little bit. You don't have to do the eight person group.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

One other couple. Hey, let's do. Let's go to a museum. I don't know, making it up. Just, just, just tested out a little bit.

[A]

That's. I think that's a good idea. I think it's a good idea to do other activities that aren't centered around alcohol and see how you enjoy that. I don't think you're gonna have a good time if you go sober. And there three other couples are getting blitzkriegged.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I think the keys are about to go on a fishbowl.

[A]

Yeah. Right. And maybe that's what he's fearing the inevitable.

[B]

Yeah, the inevitable. This, this orgy is inevitable.

[A]

Never the inevitable. Keys getting popped into that fishbowl.

[B]

All right, guys, this was asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question, send it to us on Instagram and we'll answer it on the show. All right, Matt, as we, as we wrap up any. Any final thoughts on wine night or booze in general?

[A]

Yeah, look, I, I think, as I said, I think it's, it's, it's obviously a useful tool in the tool belt for getting out there and being social. It can be a crutch for some people. It can be dangerous if you can't handle your stuff, but I think as a grown up, you should be able to tell your friends openly and honestly, like, I'm not into the drinking right now, or I'm done Drinking or you know, like I'm not gonna open that second bottle. I think you should have enough communication with your friends that there's no peer pressure at the siege or there shouldn't be to to not be healthy in the way that serves you.

[B]

And I would also say if you're looking to make friends and you're not a big drinker, but obviously a lot of things are based around drinking. There is nothing wrong with going to an event or a party and nursing one drink for five hours. Having your hand, you know, if they don't have non alcoholic or you don't want to drink it out and just like not, you know, we do it all the time. We have to drive somewhere. You nurse one beer and no, literally no one even knows.

[A]

What do you think about lollipops?

[B]

What the hell? Don't drop this question on me with one minute left in the pod. What the does that mean?

[A]

You know, like people, like people use lollipops. It seems like people are quitting smoking. They use lollipops.

[B]

I know, I've never heard of this. A nicotine lollipop?

[A]

No. I don't know. I just see people using lollipops. I'm like, oh, you must be trying to quit smoking or something. When I see a grown up with a lollipop, I assume they're trying to quit smoking. No.

[B]

When have you seen a grown up with a lollipop?

[A]

I don't know. I see him sometimes. I don't know.

[B]

I don't, I don't. I can't, I can't. It's too late.

[A]

You ever see people with lollipops? Grown ups and you're like, oh, you must be quitting smoking?

[B]

No, not since like a rave when I was like 23.

[A]

No. I think, I think you see it every now and then.

[B]

Well, next time you see someone a grown with a lollipop, please stop and talk to them. Insane. All right, guys, thank you so much for listening. Send us your thoughts on booze. Did we get it right? Did we get it wrong? Always remember, be good to yourself. Be good to your friends. Love you, buddy.

[A]

Love you buddy.

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