#186 - Permaguests

Summary

Podcast Summary: Man of the Year – Champions of Friendship

Episode #186 — "Permaguests"

Date: May 26, 2026
Hosts: Matt Ritter & Aaron Caro

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Episode Overview

In this insightful and hilarious episode, Matt and Aaron tackle the viral “permaguest” phenomenon—a social media-fueled debate about people who are always guests but never hosts within their friend groups. The hosts explore the definitions, etiquette, and emotional aspects of hosting, guesting, and the expectations of reciprocity in friendships today. Through personal anecdotes, practical advice, and their signature banter, they help listeners navigate the modern etiquette of building and sustaining strong social ties.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Defining the “Permaguest”

• Viral Video Inspiration ([03:32])
  • Matt introduces the term “permaguest,” referencing a viral video discussing how some people never host, upending the old social order where friends would take turns.
  • “Perma host was a thing, but now there's a new term we're introducing into the world called permaguest.” – Matt ([03:36])
• Is Aaron a Permaguest?
  • The question is raised semi-jokingly about whether Aaron qualifies, leading to a deeper exploration of roles within a friend group.

2. Is Permaguesting Bad? Trade in Friendship

• Reciprocity vs. Roles ([04:44])
  • Matt and Aaron agree that friendship is about balance, but not always tit-for-tat.
  • "I've never thought of you as ever being on the ledger of taking more than you give in friendship anyway." – Matt ([04:44])
• Alternate Contributions
  • Aaron points out he contributes “friendship utiles” in other ways: planning trips, organizing events, and being a great guest.
  • "I return the friendship utiles in spades by doing other things and also by being an incredible guest." – Aaron ([04:44])
• The Emotional Math of Friendship ([06:20])
  • The hosts agree that each person just has to feel the friendship is working for them—it doesn’t have to be 50/50.
  • "You have to feel you're getting something out of a friendship. Right. Whatever that ratio is, you could be fine with that." – Matt

3. The Responsibilities of Hosting (and Not Hosting)

• Why Hosts Keep Hosting ([08:08])

  • Matt: Some people genuinely love hosting and don't view it as a burden.

• Guest Etiquette ([09:45])

  • Aaron outlines the responsibilities of a great guest:
    1. Arrive on time (“I show up when the party is called.” – [09:54])
    2. Offer to help—bring something, clean up, introduce yourself
    3. Express gratitude, especially a thank you text the next day
    • "It's just so low, low, low hanging fruit." – Aaron on gratitude ([11:27])

• Matt’s Host Hack ([11:47])

  • Matt explains his new party rule:
    • "Nobody, and I repeat, nobody leaves until my house is back to the way it was when you all got there." – Matt ([11:49])
    • This creates quick, shared clean-up and removes “host clean-up resentment.”

4. Communication & Setting Expectations

• Discussing Host/Guest Roles Openly ([13:37])
  • "If you don't want to be a permanent perma host, you have to say it." – Matt ([13:37])
  • Encourages listeners to communicate if they want others to take turns.

5. Listener Question: “I Might Be a Permaguest” ([17:21])

• Question from listener worried about never hosting due to a small apartment and fear no one would come.
• Hosts’ Advice:
  • “You could always host something...even you host a pregame when we're in WeHo.” – Matt ([17:21])
  • “I don't think that guests care about venue.” – Aaron ([19:00])
  • Both stress that people are happy just being invited, regardless of space.
• Overcoming Host Anxiety
  • Matt shares a personal story about feeling embarrassed as a kid for having a small home, noting hosting breaks down social insecurity and brings acceptance ([19:46])
  • "The best thing that happens when you do it is you break down that barrier permanently." – Matt

6. Alternative Ways to Contribute

• Hosting Outside the Home ([23:19])
  • Aaron: “You host parties outside of your house...organize something at a bar.”
  • Matt agrees it "counts" for the friendship ledger, as it’s about effort and inclusion.
• Being a Host Wingman ([24:01])
  • “You could be the ultimate sort of like host wingman...help set up, co-host at someone else's house.” – Aaron & Matt ([24:21])

7. Special Event Anecdotes and Humor

• Aaron’s “Co-hosting” at Penn Reunion ([25:39])
  • Humorous tale of having his name on the invitation for an event he barely helped organize, poking fun at social status and “hosting by proxy.”
• Caro’s Party Fails ([32:27])
  • Rainstorm on New Year’s Eve causes Aaron’s beer contribution to literally float away—becoming an accidental bad guest moment.

8. Closing Guidance & Takeaway

• Friendship balance doesn’t always split evenly, but intentionality and effort matter.
• Anyone can host, regardless of space or budget—intimacy and intentionality trump grandeur.
• The most important thing is to “be good to yourself, be good to your friends.” ([34:07])
• "Just a little effort, put out a cheese board, add an extra chair...you've done it." – Matt ([31:00])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Hosting vs. Guesting:
  • “Heavy is the head that wears the crown.” – Aaron ([08:11])
  • “Your friends are not mind readers. Put it out there that you want to rotate.” – Matt ([13:37])
• Host “Hack”:
  • “Let's just make sure everything's back in order...within eight minutes, we're back to, you know, what I mean?” – Matt ([12:23])
• About overcoming host anxiety:
  • “The best thing that happens when you do [host] is you break down that barrier permanently.” – Matt ([19:46])
• Humor:
  • “Paper bag. Lucy’s in a paper brown bag in the rain. Oh my God.” – Matt ([32:59])
  • “People are hounding me about the wrong volume settings...not knowing that my son just twisted the knob right before we go on air.” – Matt ([29:00])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:32] – Introduction to the “permaguest” concept
• [04:44] – Friendship reciprocity and usefulness beyond hosting
• [09:45] – Aaron’s guide to best practices as a guest
• [11:47] – Matt’s host hack: all guests help with cleanup
• [13:37] – Communication about hosting expectations
• [17:21] – Listener question: how to start hosting with a small apartment
• [19:46] – Matt’s personal story on childhood host anxiety
• [23:19] – Alternatives to home hosting
• [24:21] – How to be a “co-host” or hosting wingman
• [25:39] – Aaron’s reunion co-hosting anecdote
• [32:27] – Guest horror story: beers lost in the rain

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Final Thoughts

This episode delivers a compassionate, actionable look at hosting anxiety, friendship balance, and how everyone can contribute to a thriving social circle. Matt and Aaron’s humor, candor, and decades of friendship shine as they encourage listeners to connect more deeply, regardless of space or social standing.

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“Be good to yourself. Be good to your friends. Love you.”
– Matt & Aaron ([34:07])

Transcript

[Commercial Narrator]

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[Aaron Caro]

Man of the Year.

[Matt Ritter]

Man of the Year. Man of the Year. Welcome to the number one friendship podcast in the country. I'm Matt Ritter.

[Aaron Caro]

I'm Aaron Caro.

[Matt Ritter]

Guys, go to manoftheearpodcast.com buy some of our merch. Go to YouTube. Look at our smiling faces. You know this topic that I'm about to hit you with, K Ro. When we talked about it offline, it wasn't meant to be a smear of you. But then the more I thought about it, I was like, yeah, we should maybe be smearing you. There was a viral video. You love how this starts.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, you woke up and chose violence.

[Matt Ritter]

Violence. But now let's debate it. I don't think I'm gonna smear you ultimately, but I wanna. I'm coming in hot.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Because the viral video was sort of aimed at you. So there was a viral video a couple weeks ago going around about the concept of a perma guest that the social order and friendship order and socializing Order has broken down because there are people that are hosting all the time, like me, and then there are people who never host. They never really had a term for them. We had host. Perma host was a thing, but now there's a new term we're introducing into the world called permaguest. And then Carol's like, wait, are you talking about me? And then I was like, I wasn't thinking about you, actually, but maybe I am. Maybe I am calling you a perma guest. And then I was like, I don't even know if I have a problem with it. So let's just talk about this for a sec, decide what it is, and then get into the pros and cons and decide whether you are one. So a perma guest is this idea that you really never host and that you're always showing up for the parties. And that's not saying anything bad about you as a person or as a friend. Just in terms of your role in the friend group. Apparently there's just people who never host. And on the viral video, this person was saying that it's a bad thing, and it's kind of a breakdown in social order. Like in the old days, if you had somebody over for dinner, they would have you over for dinner, and you would kind of like, trade off and take turns. Now I'll get into my opinion on it after, but I wanted to just hear your take on it as somebody who could be. Could be called a perma guest.

[Aaron Caro]

What's funny, when I first explained it to me, I thought you were almost talking about, like, squatters, like, people who, like, come to visit and never leave. Ah. I. This guy was basically saying back in the day, know, you had a dinner party, then your friend had a dinner party, and your other friend had had a dinner party. And that's fine, you know, but I think it's very clear that me personally, I don't often host, but I return the friendship utiles in spades by doing other things and also by being an incredible guest.

[Matt Ritter]

Okay? So let's. Let's tackle those in order. Okay? So number one, I think you're totally right. Right? So I was. When I was saying this, I was not even thinking of you because I don't think of you as a taker in friendship. So it's. It's. To me, it's really like, we host a lot because we. We want to host. So I'm not. I never even. This concept never even occurred to me and Jess, because we love to host. That's Just our essence. That's who we are. I'm happy to host all the time. Right. Not everybody's like that. Right. A lot of people would like some people to host sometime. Some people. And really what the bigger thing is is that we want to feel that our relationships are not completely one sided. So I've never thought of you as ever being on the ledger of taking more than you give in friendship anyway. So it never even occurred to me just about this topic. But I think what, you know, if you go the note beneath the note is this would only bother somebody if these quote unquote perma guests are not fulfilling their friendship balance in other ways.

[Aaron Caro]

Right, yeah, of course. I mean, also, like, you have a great space for hosting. You enjoy hosting. No one asks you to host. You do it on your own volition. You know, I have parties at other places, I organize trips, I organize the friend group. We go places together. So, you know, you, your whole thing as a friendship is never perfectly even, but over the time, over time, over 40 years for us, it pretty much is.

[Matt Ritter]

Totally. And I don't even think it has to be, you know, you know me, I've never said it has to be 50, 50. I don't even believe in that as a, as a baseline. I just think you have to feel you're getting something out of a friendship. Right. Whatever that ratio is, you could be fine with that. I never really think about it, but it can only be so healthy until the point comes where that's all you're thinking about is like, how come this person's not ever, you know, stepping up to the plate. And so I think with the, with the hosting look, I think the hosting is a big responsibility. There's a lot of responsibilities in a friend group. Right. And there's a lot of responsibilities in society. But we personally, me, Dan and Kim and Daisy and Nick and maybe one other couple in the neighborhood, we were kind of the anchors of our kind of parent community. And I'm always like, we, we hold up the entire social net of the whole community. Now is that fair? Is that know, as I said, for me personally, I don't care. I like to host. But I do think there is a level of responsibility that, you know, everybody can take on a little more of the quote unquote, like a hosting responsibility. Like you said you hosted a bar. It doesn't have to be at your house. Like, I do think on some level I see the argument of like, it's too much to ask somebody else to always host if you Never offer up the. Whatever it is, plan making or venue ever.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, I have a lot to say here. Oh, God. What should I start? I mean, the first thing is, if you're taking on this responsibility, no one's forcing you to host or be the pillar of the community of the social net. So that's part of just like, heavy is the head that wears the crown.

[Matt Ritter]

Totally. And that's why I'm grateful. And Dan and Kim are too. Like, we're happy. And. And I always say the added benefit is I always have a good social life, so, you know, like, I'm never worried about what's going on. I get invited to a lot of things, too, as a, you know, tangential benefit of inviting people to things.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, I think it's. I think I want to talk about being a guest because I think that that is really the key here.

[Matt Ritter]

Well, that was the second part. Right. Tell me about that. What is the. What is the guest responsibility in your mind?

[Aaron Caro]

Because. Because I. I think if we really put a gun to our heads, the person where we have the most of a friendship trade deficit is with Fireball Adam. Right.

[Matt Ritter]

Like, because he offers up a lot of stuff in terms of there's no way to repay him for the way he has access to things and all that.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. And. But the reason why he is so generous and brings us. Because we have fun together.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. He enjoys it. Exactly. That's why I don't even think of. In general, you. And I don't really look at the math of trade friendship deficit and all that. And it's not really a healthy way to look at things. But obviously on some level, it bothers people when they don't feel it's getting paid back. And apparently, I guess there's a lot of hosts in the world. The reason this went viral is there's enough hosts in the world feeling that they're being perma hosts and some people are being perma guests.

[Aaron Caro]

I want to go back to the. The video for a second. I just want to talk about guests for a second and talk about some best practices of being a guest. Okay.

[Matt Ritter]

Okay.

[Aaron Caro]

So number one, you know, I have a. It's not for everybody, but I have a rule that I show up when the party is called.

[Matt Ritter]

I always love that. I'm an early cider, too. I love an early side.

[Aaron Caro]

The part is at 8, I show up an 8. Like that's what you called the party for people. You know, you get some time with. With the host, you get some face time, and no one Likes standing there where nobody's there. That's number one. Number two, you got to offer to help. Whether it's clean up, bring stuff. I mean, now we're talking about dinner parties, but anything you need to be cool to the other people there, introduce yourself to. I just had this thing the other day, Matt, I wish you were there where I introduced myself and the person goes, yeah, I know. I'm like, listen, I didn't know that. I've only made you twice. I just wanted to make sure that you knew my name so it wasn't weird.

[Matt Ritter]

You know, it is a funny response to over introducing as a safety measure, which I do too now. Yeah, I think I took it from you. I think I really did take that from you. And I think it was a great one. I love when people do that. It's like. And I go, well, I just think it's better to be over introducing. I, I just like defense. I just go, I, I do, I flap my hands when I do it too, to make a whole grand scene about it.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Because like what you're saying is unnecessary. You know, like when they go, oh, I know who he is. Well, so I make a whole big grand gesture. I go, well, I'm just trying to make sure everybody knows everybody.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. And then my, my last thing is say thank you to gratitude. Gratitude.

[Matt Ritter]

You know, I really like hearing it

[Aaron Caro]

when people say it like a text the next day. Like, it's just, it's just so low. Such low, low, low hanging fruit.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. Can I, can I back up into one of those? Because I think I told you my new rule. It's a life changing hack. Life changing hack for a perma host.

[Aaron Caro]

Okay?

[Matt Ritter]

Nobody, and I repeat, nobody leaves until my house is back to the way it was when you all got there.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, yeah, you said that in a previous episode. Doesn't that go against when you do this?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not having now my. But now my. But now my. That was when my dinner parties were at 8 o'. Clock. Now they're at 5 o'.

[Aaron Caro]

Clock. Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

So I don't have a. I'm still awake at 6:30 when everybody's leaving right now.

[Aaron Caro]

Do you say hey?

[Matt Ritter]

I say it overtly. I'm like, let's just make sure all the pizza boxes are gone. It's easy. It's an easy clean. I'm like, let's just make sure everything's back in order. And everybody now knows when you come to my house. I think it's kind of Been said enough times where it's like, it's great. Everybody pitches in, and then you. Within eight minutes, we're back to. You know what I mean? When you have eight people, it literally takes no time.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. Yeah, I like that. And, like, who's going to say no to that? No, I'm not going to help you clean up, you know?

[Matt Ritter]

Right. And I think it's. It felt a little awkward the first time I, like, mandated it. Now I'm just. It's very easy for me to be like, all right, guys, let's just make sure it's all clean before we go.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. So, okay, so let's go back to the viral video, because the guy was basically saying, you know, we host a lot. You know, we've got. We have three other couples. There's not really rotation happening. And I don't know, I'm torn because if the. If one couple doesn't like to host but they're still a good guest, do they do it anyway out of obligation? Because that's how the world works. Should they say something? Are they.

[Matt Ritter]

Well, you. And I always say the world does work on obligation, right?

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

So I do believe there is a bit if the other. First of all, we always say communicate, communicate, communicate. Your friends aren't mind readers. Put it in. Put it out there that you want to rotate. If you don't want to be a permanent perma host, you have to say it. Right.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, the question is, why do you care? Is it because you don't want to keep hosting every time you just feel annoyed?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. Yeah, you're probably annoyed, and you're probably like, it's a pain in your butt. And, you know, not every. As I said, not everybody loves being a perma host. Some people like hosting, but they don't want to be in a four. If there's four couples, you know, they don't want to always be the ones hosting and cooking. And, you know, just sometimes it's annoying, you know, so if that's the case, you got to put it out there of like, hey, next time somebody else want to throw their hat in the

[Aaron Caro]

ring or just refuse to host again until everybody realizes.

[Matt Ritter]

Right, right. But that, you know, I don't think you need to go that route. I think you could just throw it out there first to see if people get the memo that you don't want to host every time.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Should we go into listener question? Because I think it's a bit relevant, guys.

[Aaron Caro]

We'll be right back with a listener question.

[Commercial Narrator]

Confidence it's listening to your gut. It's moving forward even when the path ahead is unclear. For nearly 160 years, Pacific Life has helped people keep their promises, building confidence for generations. Whether you're confident in your financial future or just beginning to envision it, we're here to help. Ask a financial professional how Pacific Life the Power of a Promise Pacific Life Insurance Company, Omaha, Nebraska and in New York, Pacific Life and Annuity, Phoenix, Arizona.

[Matt Ritter]

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[Aaron Caro]

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[Matt Ritter]

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[Commercial Narrator]

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[Aaron Caro]

Okay, guys, this is asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question or ethical dilemma, send it to us on Instagram at Man of the Year podcast and we will answer it on the show. Matt, take it away.

[Matt Ritter]

Hey, guys, I think I might be a perma guest. I'm always down for plans. I show up, but honestly, I Never host. Part of it is my apartment is small, and part of it is I just don't think anyone would come if I invited them. Am I overthinking this? And how do I start hosting without it feeling awkward or forced? So a lot of people don't host because they don't think people would want to go to their place. It's not conducive to hosting. I do think there's a lot of that. Right. So that piece of it. I'm not sure. I'm not sure, like, because I do see, like, obviously some places are, are more suited for hosting, but I do think you, you could always host something if you wanted to. Like you, even you, you host a pregame when we're in WeHo, you know, or like a post game.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, for my birthday, I had 70 people in my. In my place.

[Matt Ritter]

That's what I'm saying. Like, you'll make it work if, like there's a time. And so I do think, like, let's just stop and say there's always a time and place where you could host something. So I don't want to let people off the hook going, oh, I can never host because of my apartment. That's BS because remember when we lived in New York, how tiny the apartments were, how many people you packed in? You can host and people are not judging you. And two people is enough for a party and an hour is enough for a pregame. So I do, I do actually believe that everybody has some obligation to try to host ever something. Do you agree or not agree with that?

[Aaron Caro]

I don't think that guests care about venue.

[Matt Ritter]

Well, as long as they can be comfortable, right? I mean, if they can.

[Aaron Caro]

Sure. Sitting on the ground.

[Matt Ritter]

Exactly. If they can drink and they can have a seat, they're fine.

[Aaron Caro]

You can make any space conducive to your friends because a, it's about the people. And like, you know, I'm, I'm going. My friend Arzu, she lives at the block. She's having a little party. She's got a tiny little place. You know, she puts out like the pillows. She puts out like the coasters and the drinks and makes it cozy. No one, no one, no one gives a crap.

[Matt Ritter]

Can I say something very deeply personal, going way back to childhood about this? You know, I had the smallest house in plain view. I definitely at a certain age realized that. And I was embarrassed to like, have. Invite friends over, you know, So I think maybe that that is why. Maybe part of why I'm like, I love hosting now, you know, but. So I think there's a shame and, like, a stigma that people feel when they don't want to host because of their apartment. And I relate to it. But I want to say I think the best thing that happens when you do it is you break down that barrier permanently.

[Aaron Caro]

Can we just say. So you lived in two places in our hometown, first and second, when we met, and then you moved to a bigger place. And then a few years ago, you went on Google Maps and you showed me what your original place looked, and I think I laughed out loud.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

I couldn't believe how small it was.

[Matt Ritter]

It was, it was. I mean, yeah. Like, people don't, you know, they see me now, they have no idea. You know, they don't know we were living. I was living in a tiny home.

[Aaron Caro]

You were?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. The tiny homes. I lived in a tiny home.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

The size of a mobile home.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. Again, I will go back to my original statement. I mean, listen, depends. If you're the only one hosting and you got to do it every time, fine. Your friends do not give. It's kind of fun. I don't know. I bet if you, if we, if, if one of our buddies had a tiny home like you had back in them, like.

[Matt Ritter]

But, but, but, but can we get back into what I'm saying about, like, I think you permanently release that feeling, that stigma, whatever you have that you're carrying around. The second that your friends all come in, they're saying, we love you, we accept you, we don't care, and you need to do that so that they do that, and then you're done with that.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, yeah. I, again, I, I, I don't, I, like, listen, I can't even just imagine a situation where anybody, no matter what the socioeconomic was. Oh, I'm having people over. No, I'm not coming over because your place is small or.

[Matt Ritter]

Right, right.

[Aaron Caro]

You know, listen, you got them, you gotta, you got to buy some stuff, you got to make it look nice and cozy and get some extra chairs, and it's fine.

[Matt Ritter]

Well, and that's the other thing. I think part of it is it's an effort to host, and so doesn't matter what your place looks like, but the fact that you've put in the effort, people always appreciate that.

[Aaron Caro]

And like, again, depending on the situation of what the event is, the hosting is less about the venue and the food, and it's about the company. I don't, Is that, is that too highfalutin for us?

[Matt Ritter]

No, well, no, no, it's true. Because I always say, you know, with my neighborhood friends, like, we, we don't need a production. You know, we're doing pizza, you know, like, just come over. We're not. We're in the backyard. We're not. You know, a lot of times that's hosting too, right? Because I think the idea of hosting everybody thinks is a party.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

Hosting just is just saying I'm welcoming you into my space.

[Aaron Caro]

Okay. So what if you were like old Caro or just someone who like. I don't like hosting. I don't like having people in my place. I don't like people traipsing around using my bathroom, blah, blah, blah. Do you have any recourse?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, like what you, you know, what you do sometimes is you, you know, you, you host parties outside of your house.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. Okay, so you, like, organize some. Hey, we're doing this thing at a bar. We're doing a. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

To me, that qualifies again because I really think this viral video came out of the idea that people are freeloading in friendship. That's, you know, what, what, what this sort of guy was. Was angling at, you know, which I don't, as I said, I don't totally agree with, but there's ways to show that you're putting a notch on the friendship ledger.

[Aaron Caro]

Just a notch on the bed. What was going to say? The other thing you could do is you could be the ultimate sort of like host wingman. Like. Okay, let's say you're going to have a part and we've done this at your place. All right, I'm coming over 90 minutes before everybody else help you set up.

[Matt Ritter]

Well, can I. Yes. And that.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, please.

[Matt Ritter]

You were my co host. Well, because you were my co host for our Audible original launch party. So you were co host. Yeah, you were the host. So you can be a host at somebody else's house. You can be the co. Host. Host.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah. I mean, is. Do you think that's just a super unique situation?

[Matt Ritter]

No, because think about charity events for. There's a lot of charity events where you'll see the names like co hosted by.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

And It'll be like four couples or 10 people or, you know, a whole bunch of people. And when you put your name on it, that's because you're part of the organizing committee or whatever. You're part of the host committee. There's responsibilities that come with that, and you can take on as much or as little as you want, but some of those responsibilities can be Involved with actually the gathering itself. It doesn't have to just be on the person who's housed it. In fact, I think some of the time for those events, the person who has the house should have the least responsibility in their. In the event.

[Aaron Caro]

You're gonna love this. So I have our 25th reunion coming up at Penn. And you know, I've got 25th. 25th.

[Matt Ritter]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, we talked about this. So do you.

[Matt Ritter]

I forgot. Yeah, I forgot.

[Aaron Caro]

So 23 union coming up. You know, there's all these events. I mean, it's so fancy. Penn. And our buddy. My buddy Harlan, he's like, after the last event, I'm planning another event. Like, basically another party with another alumni who's, you know, a billionaire. That's what Penn is all about. So they're basically renting out a bar for the whole. And they're like, they needed something. They needed like emails to invite people, need some access. Like, was like, oh, I actually may have that, Matt. I'm like, but I want to be put on the invitation. I was half joking. Like, like Thanksgiving Eve at Tunnel presented by Blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. Are you on it?

[Aaron Caro]

It's gonna say like, free open bar party, but Harlan, this guy, Aaron Caro, I did nothing. I didn't pay for it.

[Matt Ritter]

That's huge.

[Aaron Caro]

I may. I made huge. I mean, I'm. I'm. He's like, sure, whatever. I was like, oh, I'm. I'm kind of joking. But like, what do I care?

[Matt Ritter]

I don't know. Is everybody going to.

[Aaron Caro]

Of the whole class or of our friends? Of my friends of your crew. You know, we're going because we, you know, the last reunion was covet. So I haven't been, you know, I haven't been since my 15th reunion, which is 10 years ago. I'm ex. You know, we talked about this. I'm excited, you know, a little anxious, but.

[Matt Ritter]

Well, I mean, you're obviously crushing it if your name's on the host.

[Aaron Caro]

I know. It's such under a billionaire. I think I'm gonna remove myself. It's embarrassing.

[Matt Ritter]

No, don't remove. Keep it on. Keep it on. I love that.

[Aaron Caro]

But. But yeah. Excited for that. Yeah, I think. I think a co host versus you know, that's the thing is like, you know, when you have a. I just went to a birthday party at a bar and it was two girls, you know, and they kind of. They brought one, you know, one brought their friends. They brought their friends. So, yeah, like a Co host. But, you know, still. Listen, we did a thing at your house. It was still your house, and then your. And then your wife went like this and threw everybody out, and we didn't clean up.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, yeah. The. Actually, I have to say, the. The. A little life hack. Try and get some friends to come over that next day, if things are left out. Oh, that was a tough one because the tables and stuff. Oh, yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

So did anybody.

[Matt Ritter]

Tables and chairs? No. Oops. Yeah, actually, it was cute. Brenner tried to carry those chairs. I mean, they're like. For a two and a half year old, those are big chairs. Yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, I love. I love, like, the dad. You have dad goggles. You're like, oh, Brenner, your son, he tried to set up the podcast equipment. He screwed it all up, and now we can't do it. But isn't. It wasn't cute? I'm like, no, don't let he change the volume settings.

[Matt Ritter]

People. People are hounding me about the wrong volume settings. Me not knowing that my son just, like, twisted the knob. Right before we go on air, we

[Aaron Caro]

get more messages about the. About your audio than we do asking for a friend segments. Ridiculous.

[Matt Ritter]

It's hilarious.

[Aaron Caro]

And you're like, so. Yes, my son.

[Matt Ritter]

I'm like, not that cute. It's. It's. Yeah, it's.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

What am I gonna do? He knows. So it's so cute because he goes. He calls it a podcast. He goes, let me help you set up the podcast, Daddy.

[Aaron Caro]

Okay, I will say that is cute. I didn't know that. That is cute.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. Every Friday, he's like, let me set up the podcast.

[Aaron Caro]

God, can you imagine? We were kids. Oh, pod. I mean, what have, like, I don't know, our lives. In our last episode. This is what I remembered I was gonna say in the last episode. The last episode, we're talking about group chats, and we talk about how I. How I had an email group chat. We were in college. What I wanted to bring up was the. The fact that we're Zennials, right? It's Gen X meets Millennials.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. What are we. Is it 77 to 85 or something?

[Aaron Caro]

It's like 78 to 82. It's tiny.

[Matt Ritter]

It's tiny.

[Aaron Caro]

And it's people with analog childhoods and digital adulthoods and, like.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, we've. We've. We've had a very unique experience.

[Aaron Caro]

Exactly like we had.

[Matt Ritter]

You know, it's like when you. When you see those people who are like, oh, he's closer to the civil war than he is today.

[Aaron Caro]

Like, right.

[Matt Ritter]

We've touched a lot of things.

[Aaron Caro]

We're like, zachary Tyler's grandson is still alive.

[Matt Ritter]

Exactly. That's what I'm saying. He's alive.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah, right.

[Matt Ritter]

Like my. Right, exactly. Like, my grandfather fought in the Civil War. Not true. But like, yeah, it feels that way. But also, I'm sardine maxing with teenagers.

[Aaron Caro]

Right. Sardine maxing. Anyway, did we, did we answer that question?

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah. So I think, I think the takeaway is yes, don't be embarrassed. Your friends like to be invited. Also, I think it'll lower that barrier of that feeling of, oh, nobody wants to be in my house. When you just do a little work, put out a little cheese board, add an extra chair, sit down for an hour, have a couple of drinks and then go out with your friends. And you did it. You're done. You've been a host, you've done it.

[Aaron Caro]

You know, and then the other people just say thank you.

[Matt Ritter]

Right, right. So again, I think going back to the viral video, I think the guy is, he's a little bit living in the past of, like, I host one dinner, you host one dinner. Like, we're all in different places. We're not all living the exact same lives like everybody was back in the day. Yeah, right. I think there's just a little, it's still, it's a little bit blacked out to just say, like, oh, well, I host, you host, I host, you host.

[Aaron Caro]

Right, right, right, right. All right, guys, that was asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question, send it to us on Instagram and we will answer it on the show. Do you think, Matt, that there's any, you know, have you ever had a bad guess that you, that you're never going to invite back?

[Matt Ritter]

I mean, try not to, try to show respect for the house. I remember this is way, way early when I was inviting, like, scum scrum comedians.

[Aaron Caro]

Yeah.

[Matt Ritter]

I remember this set Jess off to no end. Somebody just littered on our ground.

[Aaron Caro]

In the house?

[Matt Ritter]

No, on the outside.

[Aaron Caro]

Oh, okay. Well, I will say on New Year's Eve, I went to a house party and it was pouring. Do you remember? New Year's Eve was like atmospheric river.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah.

[Aaron Caro]

And I had brought. So can't believe I did this. I, I, they said to bring beers and I had a bunch of Lucy's. So I put, I put a whole thing together. A bunch of beers in a paper bag. And it was raining so hard that the bag broke like, oh, no. And in it they all fell.

[Matt Ritter]

Paper bag. Lucy's in a paper brown bag in the rain. Oh, my God. Lucy's in the rain in a brown bag. I mean, I just visualized the horror of this.

[Aaron Caro]

So I was brown bagging it. Single.

[Matt Ritter]

Single bag. Not even double bag.

[Aaron Caro]

Either way. It was so raining. It was raining so hard. They fell into a puddle, a giant puddle that had pooled in the sidewalk. So I just. It was pouring, so I scooped up and ran inside for the rest of the night. People were coming in, like, hey, you know there's beers on your sidewalk floating in a.

[Matt Ritter]

You littered. I taught Brenner littering. Now he gets so pissed when he sees litter.

[Aaron Caro]

I mean, listen, you're gonna. Brenda's gonna grow up like your niece. How dare you. That's a crime. Call the police.

[Matt Ritter]

Yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah, he's law abiding citizen. Law abiding citizens.

[Aaron Caro]

All right, guys, listen. We want to hear your stories of perma guesting perma hosting horror shows or hacks. Guys, thanks so much for listening. Always remember, be good to yourself. Be good to your friends. Love you.

[Matt Ritter]

Love you, buddy. You said this place was steps from the water.

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