#187 - Copycats. And Copycats.

Summary

Man of the Year – Champions of Friendship Episode #187 – Copycats. And Copycats. Released: June 2, 2026 Hosts: Matt Ritter & Aaron Karo

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Episode Overview

In this lively and relatable episode, Matt and Aaron explore the surprisingly nuanced topic of “copycat” friends—those who mimic everything from your fashion sense to your restaurant choices, and even your baby names! Inspired by listener questions and classic films, the hosts blend pop culture references, personal admissions, and practical advice, ultimately asking: Where’s the line between healthy mimicry and identity theft in friendships?

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining “Copycat” Behavior

[05:46]

• Karo frames the discussion by referencing "Single White Female" (1992) as the preeminent copycat friend movie, setting the tone with a pop culture deep-dive.
• Copycat behaviors include:
  • Same tattoos, hairstyles, or glasses
  • Stealing baby names
  • Mimicking hobbies, gym classes, neighborhoods
  • Adopting slang, side hustles, book/podcast preferences
  • Even dating the same types of people

2. Healthy Mimicry & Friendship Bonding

[06:04]

• Matt: “I think most of us do this on some conscious or unconscious level as a positive psychological tool in friendship. Mimicry is part of, like, bonding.”
• Aaron agrees, noting, “Imitation is the highest form of flattery.”
• They point out how friends naturally rub off on each other, sharing interests to build connections.

3. Where’s the Line?

[06:57]

• The hosts debate when mimicry crosses the line into “copycat” territory.
• Aaron asks if this is a gendered behavior; Matt quickly refutes it: “Look at the way men do movie quotes…suddenly, all the friends are doing it. Didn’t they copycat him?”
• They agree context, closeness, and intent matter. Light mimicry among close friends is bonding, while identity-stealing actions (like jacking a baby name or a signature look) can feel invasive.

4. Real-Life Copycat Scenarios

[12:17]

• List of common copycat triggers from recent articles: Tattoos, hairstyles, glasses, fashion, neighborhoods, side hustles, recommended books/podcasts, slang.
• Style copying is especially touchy—everyone likes to feel original.
• Jacket Debacle: Aaron gently calls out Matt for buying a jacket similar to his, leading to lots of banter:
  • Karo: “The jacket you recently got is eerily similar to mine.” [12:55]
  • Matt: “Everybody, everyone has that same jacket…There’s only one color of jackets now. Green.” [12:59]
  • Both admit their moms bought them their favorite jackets—classic son-mom bonding.

5. Healthy Copycatting vs. Annoying Copycatting

[16:15]

• Matt confesses to copying friends' interests (e.g., rooting for his friend Dan’s college team) as a way to connect.
• Shared interests like Whiskey Fest and birdwatching are considered healthy and fun, especially when they foster group experiences (Matt shares a sweet story about birdwatching with his son, using the Merlin app).

6. What To Do When It Bothers You

[16:26, 23:19]

• If copycatting becomes bothersome, assess the context and intent.
• Behavior that feels nefarious—like stealing jokes, stories, or taking credit for recommendations—is especially grating.
• Matt: “If somebody else steals your joke or your story or your bit or, like, pawns it off as their own…that’s kind of psychotic.” [16:29]

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Borrowing Each Other's Style:

  • Aaron: “So you’re doing this whole episode because I wore a similar jacket. Now I'm realizing...this whole episode is an excuse for you to call me out on that jacket.” [13:45]

• On Credit-Stealing Recommendations:

  • Matt: “I don’t retain who gave me the intel…but I want to share it. Most of the time it’s stolen goods.” [21:00]
  • Aaron: “One of the ways to deal with mimicry is with mockery…‘That’s funny, B, do you remember we went there last year?’” [23:34]
  • Matt: “Mimicry invites mockery.” [23:58]

• General Wisdom:

  • Aaron: “Our goal in our pod…is to not create these little beefs and these little things like getting credit for everything. You’re not sharing the recos, hopefully, so you can get credit.” [32:05]

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Listener Question: When a Friend Steals Your Recommendations

[18:58]

• A female listener feels “invisible and dumb” when her friend “B” repeats Aaron’s own recommendations to their group, getting all the credit for herself.
• Matt empathizes, noting he, too, is sometimes accused of “recommending” things just told to him,
  • “I just don’t remember where I get good intel, but I want to share it…Most of the time it’s stolen goods.” [21:00]
• They acknowledge that sometimes people innocently forget sources, but there can be a "nefarious" side when someone repeatedly claims ownership.
• Actionable Tips:
  • Use gentle mockery to reclaim credit in the group: “That’s great—you know we went there last year!” [23:34]
  • If it persists, speak up kindly or share recommendations with the wider group yourself to avoid exclusive credit-stealing.
  • If the issue is with sensitive things (tattoos, baby names), consider keeping ideas private, citing Lauren Conrad's advice: “Just keep more stuff private.” [26:49]

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [03:05] Pop culture setup: “Single White Female” and movies about copying.
• [05:46] Defining copycat behavior, range of examples.
• [12:55 – 14:12] The jacket banter—classic friends ribbing about style copying.
• [16:26, 23:19] Handling copycat behavior that crosses the line.
• [18:58 – 27:36] Listener “asking for a friend” situation—friend stealing recommendations; practical advice and comic relief.
• [32:05] Podcast ethos: Friendship over petty keeping-score.
• [33:05] Stealing stories and anecdotes—more “copycat” nuances.

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Takeaways & Closing Wisdom

• Mimicry in friendship is natural—often, it's how people bond. Real issues arise when credit or identity feels co-opted, especially in group dynamics.
• Keep it playful and light—mockery among friends, not meanness.
• If you’re troubled, communicate honestly or widen your circle for sharing, instead of bottling up frustration.
• When it comes to private matters (like names or tattoos), consider taking a cue from LC (Lauren Conrad): keep it close to the vest.
• Ultimately: “No more little beefs”—spreading joy, not jealousy, keeps friendships strong.

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Hosts, in closing:
Aaron: “Be good to yourself. Be good to your friends.”
Matt: “Love you, buddy.” [33:39]

Transcript

[A]

Foreign. Of the year.

[B]

Man of the year. Man of the year.

[A]

Welcome to the number one friendship podcast in the country. I'm Aaron Caro.

[B]

I'm Matt Ritter.

[A]

Guys, make sure to go to manoftheourpodcast.com to grab our merch and audible.com, the buddy system, to download our audible original. Matt, one of your primary peccadillos, which we obviously are using wrong.

[B]

Can we stop saying

[A]

what is peccadillos means?

[B]

My mom corrected us. It means a sexual proclivity.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[B]

We just thought it meant peculiarities and oddities.

[A]

Yes, yes. So one of your peculiar peculiarities, Long

[B]

island coming out hard, is you love

[A]

80s and 90s movies. That's like your thing. You've seen everyone. You know every word. You know every actor.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you. Do you have a favorite.

[B]

Favorite actor?

[A]

No. No. Favorite 80s or 90s, like, old school movie.

[B]

Oh, you want me to tee this? Are you wanting me to tee up our episode or my actual answer?

[A]

No, I want an actual answer, and then I'll make a rough transition.

[B]

Okay. Major League. Beverly Hills Cop, Die Hard.

[A]

Interesting top. I knew you. I knew you. Say Beverly Hill Cop. Well, you know, Major League and Die Hard are my two favorite movies. I didn't think they were YouTube.

[B]

I mean, they're perfect. I mean, these are perfect. You know, Rick Vaughn just wearing the sleeveless shirt going, I feel like a banker in this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

At the restaurant. He goes, that's my. That's my wife, Wesley Snacks. Because. Did she know that? Well, she would have been. That's such a great line. That's my wife. Does she know that? Well, she would have been if I didn't. If I didn't screw it up.

[A]

What. What league did you play before this? California Penal.

[B]

Penal. How about. He goes. He goes. There. There are two or three potential all stars on this team.

[A]

Great. It's a great movie. It's great movie. They don't make them like that.

[B]

No, they don't. The other one. Oh, Beverly Hills Cop. I mean, Beverly Hills copies, I think. Also perfect movie. Like, perfect. Fish out of Water. You know, if you're gonna do like, Fish out of Water as your theme of a movie. That's flawless.

[A]

Did you. Did you watch the new one?

[B]

No, I. I just couldn't.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Which is the one where Eddie Murphy uses the word scrubs. You got a bunch of scrubs.

[B]

I don't know all of his 80s movie. Now I'm forgetting. I think it might have. It might have been actually the. The Golden Child.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

There's a lot deeper cut.

[A]

You introduced the word scrubs to ours.

[B]

The plain view. Yeah, yeah. Because there was no Internet. Right. So I was the only kid with a vcr.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. So my, my rough transition to today's topic is, is the movie Single White Female? Because we're talking about copycat friends. I probably haven't seen Single White Female since, like, I don't know, I was 15. Came out in 1992. Do you, do you remember the basic plot line? He's like, I remember it like I was yesterday.

[B]

Of course, of course. I mean, it's the, it's the greatest. It's a friend. She rented her apartment. Jennifer Jason Lee is the tenant for, for Bridget Fonda. Bridget Fonda, by the way, had a, had a big moment and then kind of like disappeared. And then they become friends and it's like, cool and all, and then she just starts, like, jocking her style and then, like, you know, do I give away the movie? I mean, it's, it gets, I mean,

[A]

it came out in 1992.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it gets dark. But I mean, one of the ultimate BJ scenes of all time. Well, this guy wakes up to a beach from his girlfriend, and then it turns out it's the roommate. She had cut her hair and dyed it to look exactly short, short reddish hair.

[A]

Right, right, right, right.

[B]

And, and she was like, oh, don't tell me you didn't know the classic debate of, like, would you, could you tell?

[A]

You know, it's being remade, right?

[B]

No. Who are the women?

[A]

It's Jenna Ortega and Taylor Russell. I'm not sure who Taylor Russell is.

[B]

I don't have to look up Taylor Russell because Jennifer Ortega has a very specific look. Yeah, Jennifer Russell.

[A]

They do look pretty similar.

[B]

Would you say Taylor Russell?

[A]

Taylor Russell? I don't, I don't know who that is. Maybe we should know who it is.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Oh, she's in a bunch of hard movies and stuff. Anyway, I, I bring up Single White Female because it's, it's the, it's the preeminent example of, of quote, copycat behavior that we're going to talk about today. A couple people sent me a couple articles about, about friends who are copycats. So what does that mean? Let's define our terms. Now, that could be a friend who, like, gets the same tattoo as you, steals your baby name, like, takes up yoga when you take up yoga, moves to the same neighborhood when you move to the same neighborhood, adopts your slang ADOP book or your Luke L E W K signing up for the same gym, becomes fans of the same books and TVs, and. And starts even dating, like, the same types of guys. Thoughts.

[B]

Can I say that? I think hot take. I think most of us do this on some conscious or unconscious level as a positive psychological tool in friendship. Mimicry is part of, like, bonding.

[A]

Sure. Imitation is the highest form of flattery.

[B]

No, but I'm not even saying flattery. I'm saying I think, like, on a deep psychological level, when we bond with people, like, that's part of our innate nature, is to, like, mimic, you know, in some way. And I do think, obviously, like, we always joke, like, you become your friends or you become your partner. So I think there is, like, an innate default towards doing some of this. Some of this stuff, like, the harmless ways of it. But I mean, what you described is, like, you know, from. Like, hey, we all, you know, start dressing the same way to, you know, stealing a baby name. That's a. That's a tough one.

[A]

I mean, that's a classic Seinfeld episode.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Seven. Where do they come up with seven?

[A]

I. I would say two things. One, I think we should define where the line gets crossed.

[B]

I mean, I'm not even ready. I'm so far from ready. This is a great topic because I'm so. I'm like. This is crystallizing in my head where the line would be. I want to hear your take. I want to hear your thoughts. Like, I'm nowhere near making a call on what the line is yet.

[A]

Wow. Because Matt's. Matt's takes are always, always warm and ready to get hot today.

[B]

Not this. Because I. I think we all do it. I'm like, oh, man, I think I'd probably do some of this.

[A]

Well, that was my question. Before we define the line.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

My first thought was that this is maybe more of a woman behavior that women do versus no man. Adam. Adam called you Adam. Matt is shaking his head no, like,

[B]

okay, here's a good one. Right? Like, you've got. Look at. Look at the way that, like, men do movie quotes. You know, usually it's like, one guy doing it, and then suddenly, like, all his friends are doing it. Didn't they copycat him?

[A]

And one guy being Matt, I don't think that that's. Well, I mean, depends if this person's annoying about it.

[B]

It's really. I mean, I think it's like, there's a. I think there's a line between relating and copycatting.

[A]

See, part of me is like, it's all depends on how close you are.

[B]

Okay, here's a good one. This is a good copy. I'm guilty. I mean, I. I think I have a very defined personality. I'm not borrowing pieces of stuff, but I don't follow college basketball, and Dan does. So me and my buddy Greg or somebody else. Me and another buddy who did. No, because Greg likes Ohio State. Me and another body just started rooting for Duke this. This season.

[A]

Okay. I don't think that's copycat behavior. That's taking someone's interests.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, you know, I think that's actually pretty. Pretty healthy.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I thought so. But, like, you know, is that copycatting? I don't know what that is.

[A]

You know, I mean, if you showed up, what's Dan's team?

[B]

Duke.

[A]

Duke. Didn't he go to, like, Sarah Lawrence or something?

[B]

No, he went to Duke.

[A]

Oh, he went to Duke. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. That's why.

[A]

Oh, oh, oh. So you became fans of his team. Oh, I missed.

[B]

Yeah. I guess they did it as, like, a friendship thing, you know?

[A]

I mean, that's kind of funny. Tongue in cheek. And I'm sure he appreciated it if you made Duke your entire personality like most people who went.

[B]

Right. That is his personality.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. Okay, I'm gonna put. I'm gonna file that under healthy copycat, Healthy mimicry. But also, yeah, Dan is your homie, so it's okay. If I did that to a secondary friend, it'd be weird because.

[B]

Because I think part of friendship, good friendship, is turning your friends on to things.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Or.

[B]

Or picking things that you both like already. Right? Fine. Great. You don't need to copycat. But sometimes you turn your friends onto things because you want to have more of a shared experience. So, like, Whiskey Fest. Right. I think Brian was the first of our high school crew to be into whiskey. Right. And then, like, I don't know, we got turned on to it. But that was, like, his thing. Right. You know, a lot of guys, that's, like, their thing, and then you turn on. You turn somebody onto it. But isn't the idea that you want them to be super into it?

[A]

I mean, this would be like. If I took up bird watching, I'd love it.

[B]

I would. That would. That would be so great, because then next time we're all on vacation together and we're like, where's Matt? You'd be with me on a random bird watching tour.

[A]

Have you been bird watching recently?

[B]

Well, I Mean, I go with Brenner. So he has these little binoculars, but he does. He's too young. So he turns them around so, like, he's using them the wrong way. But there's something called the Merlin app. It's so cute. So now on our morning walks, he goes, dad, turn on the Merlin app. And we'll just walk down a side street and we'll just turn it on. And it picks up the sounds of every bird in a neighbor in the neighborhood and identifies them. So now he actually can identify like a white crested sparrow or he can identify a wren, Berwick's wren, by its sound. And I go, and he'll do it and he'll like, make that sound. It's great.

[A]

Wow. The Merlin bird app by Cornell. It identifies bird singing. Wow, that is. That is bonkers. I mean, it's like Shazam for birds.

[B]

Yeah, exactly, exactly. I mean, it's. It's a high tech, you know, to be able to do that. So now, you know, he. We're always looking for morning doves. And then, so then. But then he can click on the birds and see their region and learn about them. And. And he can learn their calls because they have their calls listed on there.

[A]

Right, right. Okay, so maybe we, you and I are talking about good natured interest sharing and, and, yeah, and the examples, like, you know, if you got the same tattoo as me, I'd be like, what?

[B]

I mean, right. Yours is your family name.

[A]

Yeah, that would be even weirder.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, if someone like, name their, you know, you name their kid the same. Well, that's. That's really weird.

[B]

Well, there is that. Right. I think. Okay, so I think if you're talking about like the copycatting, let's make a list of the copycatting that's bothering people in 2026.

[A]

Okay. Well, we have these from the articles. You know, tattoo, hairstyle, same glasses, your. Your fashion, like, your look, moving to the same neighborhood, same side, Hustle, books and podcasts, slang.

[B]

So I think some of those are healthy. I think the style one's the one that gets touchy. Right? So everybody likes to have their own style, right? They also like to turn people on to cool things. But like, I don't know, certain things are like, oh, you get a cool jacket. If somebody gets that same cool jacket, you're gonna be like, what the hell, dude?

[A]

I mean, the jacket you recently got is eerily similar to mine.

[B]

Everybody, everyone has that same jacket every. There's only one color of jackets now. Green. Me and Londy Every time we go out, we're wearing green. I have three different green jackets, so I can mix it up. I could wear the other one that looks exactly like Lonnie's jacket if you want.

[A]

I've had my jacket for five, six years. I always get compliments on it. I show up to a party, Matt's in the same jacket. He's single.

[B]

No, except mine's way more expensive. Buck Mason. Yours is like, you're separate. You got yours. Hold on. Where'd you. Where'd you get your cvs?

[A]

How dare you. Okay, okay, I got mine.

[B]

Hold on. So you're doing this whole episode because I. I wore a similar jacket. That's where you came. I. Now I'm realizing, though, this whole episode is an excuse for you to call me out on that jacket.

[A]

I got it at the Gap Cat Kids Factory store.

[B]

Oh. Discount. Discount. Double check.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

One tenth of the amount I paid.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I feel like a sucker. So, Carol. Okay, so, audience, let's be clear. Caro chose this topic not to talk about 80s movies, not to have a good time, just to call me out on an innocent jacket purchase. I didn't even realize that we had ever worn it at the same time in the same place.

[A]

I mean, you did realize, because I made a comment and you go, buck Mason, they serve you whiskey when you shop. Like, air. No one cares.

[B]

I mean, it is pretty cool that they serve you tequila while you shop.

[A]

Is it tequila?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But you're not really. You don't even drink tequila.

[B]

Yeah, I'll drink it if they're offering it in the store.

[A]

Did you. Let me ask you this. Do you. Do you remember the shopping chip when you bought it?

[B]

Yeah, it was recently.

[A]

Did you. Were you by yourself or with Chad?

[B]

I was with my mom.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. Because that. That tracks. I just don't see you. I don't see myself either. Like, shopping. Like, men don't really, like, shop by them.

[B]

That was with my mom. It was good. It was like a classic mom activity, Right?

[A]

Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.

[B]

Well, actually, when I shop is usually when Jess is shopping. And eventually I get bored enough that I have to shop.

[A]

By the way, I got my jacket with my mom, too, because, like, she's like, you know, you need a new jacket. I'm like, no, I'm fine. She's like, holes in it.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. When there are holes in it and then they're not from the New York cigarettes from the 80s and 90s in the 2000s. Wait, okay, so. Okay, so. So, right. So, okay. So Carol's clearly upset I jocked his jacket style. There's only, by the way, audience, if anybody know if it's just an LA thing, but can anybody DM us and let us know if they agree or disagree that all men's jackets are green? Now,

[A]

I mean, maybe that is the. I don't know, maybe that's the trend, but it was also the same style. It doesn't matter. I don't care. I mean, I'm.

[B]

Yeah, no, I literally have two jackets right now currently that are jockeying your. That one and then the other one is lock jocking Lon's jacket style. So I'm a copycat.

[A]

You're a copycat. Let's talk for a minute before we go to a listener question of. Okay, let's say the copycat behavior is bothering you. What's. What's the move?

[B]

It depends on the behavior.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I mean, it's a behavior. Okay, well, let's talk about bad ones. Right? Here's what I, I find offensive. If somebody else steals your joke or your story or your bit or like pawns it off on as their own.

[A]

Let's go back to that because that's related to our listener question.

[B]

Oh, okay. Because I feel like that's something that happens, which is kind of psychotic. No.

[A]

Should we just go to the listener question then?

[B]

Let's. Okay. Okay, Good.

[A]

All right, guys, we'll be right back with a listener question.

[B]

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[A]

Guys, this is asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question or ethical dilemma, send it to us on Instagram. Our handle is man of the Year podcast and we will answer on the show. And we can also anonymize it if you'd like. Okay, this is a good one. Dear Mad and Cairo, love the pod, and as a female listener, I feel like I've got a unique dilemma. My friend B in quotes. So this is know standing. B has a habit of, quote, discovering things. I introduced her to restaurants, podcast, even recently a hiking trail and then reintroducing them to me later. And then, then it gets a little Matt centric here. Recently she recommended a boutique hotel in Ojai, your favorite place, to a group of our friends as a, quote, hidden gem. And even though I planned a trip there last year and now she's getting text quote thanking her for the wreck, it's starting to feel like she's rewriting reality and that in a way that makes me feel invisible and dumb. Do I correct the record or do I let it slide?

[B]

Okay, so let me just say for the record, for anybody listening who knows me, I'm guilty of this. Innocent Jesse and JMC are probably the two biggest caller outs of me for this. Like, anytime I turn somebody on to something, but I usually do, I usually do it to them something they just told me. So I'm not out there trying to sell it as my own. I literally go to jmc, go to Jesse, I'll be like, oh man, I just found out about this really cool restaurant. And like, she'll be like, I, I just told you about this a week ago. Or JMC will be like, I, I'm the one who told you. I'm like, oh, okay. Like, I just don't remember where I get good intel, but I want to share it. So I actually think here's my hot take. I think most of the time that's what's going on. Or maybe I'm. Maybe I'm the weirdo. But I think most of the time it's just like I want to share whatever I've learned that's good intel with, with my friends. And most of the time it's stolen goods.

[A]

Has anyone ever like told you some gossip and then you share it back to them by accident? That's definitely happened.

[B]

I can't think, I know. I can't think of like a scenario.

[A]

Oh, I heard that. Blah, blah. You're like, I told you that.

[B]

Oh yeah, I'm sure I've done that. I'm sure. I mean, because as I said, my, my, I don't retain the who gave me the intel.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

So I think it's probably like a infringement, you know, this is. I'm doing some sort of infringee. I'm like China with intellectual property. You know, I just strip off the maker's name of it.

[A]

Well, you're like, you know when like a book, book or someone or screenwriter, they get accused of stealing someone else's idea, you would do it, but not even know you did it.

[B]

Totally. But I actually think all of us like live a little bit like that. You know, we don't. We all are sort of taking. We're amalgam of ideas that somebody gave us or, you know, everybody wants to think they're so original. I always thought this was so funny in stand up. Like still to this day, I can't even believe in 2026 there are still people that are so convinced people are stealing their bits and they're so generic all the time and it's just like, like parallel thought is real too.

[A]

Listen, leave Ditz and Newton. No, Newton and Leibniz. Yeah, they started out same time.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

Well, do you think there's actual joke thieves in comedy though?

[B]

Definitely.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, both.

[B]

I mean, I think both can be true. But the people who are always like, oh, he took my idea about bears, you know.

[A]

Okay, right. It's funny. I'm sure you get this too. Whenever I, you know, I have a lot of mentees, but whenever I'm talking to a new writer or whatever, they're always like, how are you? Aren't you afraid people are going to steal your idea? And I'm like. I'm like, if they could steal it, it wasn't that good to begin.

[B]

Right. That's what I always say. I'm like, if it's not unique enough that somebody can't just jack it as their own and doesn't feel different.

[A]

Yeah. Plus it's on the execution.

[B]

I mean, yes. Jokes, all that stuff happens. Anyway, so back to the copycatting at hand. Look, I think there's a difference between guy like me who's just blissfully unaware of where he's getting his intelligent, who wants to, like, take his friends to cool places.

[A]

Yeah, but.

[B]

But their reaction is always like, I told you that. Which I think is like the right reaction.

[A]

Yeah. This seems slightly more nefarious. I agree.

[B]

This does feel nefarious, and I think that does happen.

[A]

I think that one of the ways to. To deal with mimicry is with mockery, you know? So she, she, first of all, she says it back to you like, yes, I told you that. But if you're in a group setting like, oh, that's funny. That's. That's funny. That's great. B, do you remember we went there last year? Or did you forget that? Or something like that.

[B]

Right, right. Mimicry invites mockery.

[A]

Mimicry invites mockery. Or you could be like, oh, how did you hear about that? Innocently.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh, that's a little passive aggressive. Right?

[A]

Yeah. I think pass ag is. Is. I'm not usually a passag guy, but

[B]

I think you like it for this. You like it for this.

[A]

Yeah. Although I thought you, what you. One thing you were gonna bump on was, okay, so now she's passing off Rex as her own and the other people are thanking her,

[B]

is that. I think that's the part that's bothering her. Right.

[A]

Well, that bothers me. But I thought you wouldn't. You would be like, who cares as long as a good wreck is happening.

[B]

Well, yeah, but obviously if this person is, you know, look, I get it. Yes. I mean, I. Look, on some level, it's great. That's why I think people are doing it. But if it does feel nefarious and it's like, oh, you're, you know, you're. You're. You're Persona of. I think part of it is a lot of people take pride in their identity, is like, I'm the recommender, I'm the this, I'm that. And then when other people step into that Lane. It causes identity friction and group dynamics. That's what I think is a little bit happening here.

[A]

I feel like a good. If I. If I was to. I mean, let's just take in our typical man of the year fashion. Let's take B side for a second. She is hearing these, you know, interesting recommendations and. And hotel ideas, and she's excited to share them.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

You know, everyone gets a little dopamine hit when you share a good reco and they're like, oh, my God, thanks, Matt. That's like amazing. Blah, blah, blah. And she's co opting that. Yeah, I think a little credit kind of goes a long way. Like, let's say we're in a group chat. Everyone's chatting, and I go, hey, guys, actually, Matt loves the Ojai Valley Inn. Like, that way you get the credit and I sort of get the credit a little bit for surfacing it. What do you think about that?

[B]

Yeah, look, I liked your take about, like, keeping it light and, like, mocking, actually. Because that's what I'm saying. Like, I feel like. Because again, I think it's. There's only two options. It's innocent, like, what I'm doing, or there is a little bit of a credit stealing. And I think the best one is like, you know, I like that I'm. You know, I now have like a. You know, this is like, I like that I now have a personal assistant sharing my recos or something. I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I don't think. I don't think, like accusing and going. Actually, I told him at that place, like you said sound ridiculous.

[A]

Right. It's interesting because in the articles that I read now, this obviously doesn't count for, like, jacking your fashion or your recommendations, but, like, you know, your gym class you're going to or the tattoo you're getting or the baby name you're thinking of. There's actually an article from Lauren Conrad of the. What was he?

[B]

Oh, sea fame. O.C.

[A]

laguna Beach. Laguna Beach. And she was like, just keep more stuff private.

[B]

So don't share that stuff if you don't want it. I agree. Listen, I agree with the baby name stuff. A lot of people keep that close to the vest because that's a. It's kind of like a real cluster

[A]

f. I mean, you told me your new baby's name live on this podcast before the baby was even born.

[B]

Yeah, but which one? Older boy or younger boy?

[A]

Younger, but I think it wasn't gonna air until after he was.

[B]

It wasn't gonna air. Yeah. Yeah. But regardless, you know, we were going with those names because they were family names, so there were no, like, alternative names.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, it would be. Have you ever met anyone with the same name as your sons?

[B]

Julian. Yes. Brenner. Like, I don't know. We have to look up how many Brers there are.

[A]

Have you ever, like, Googled it?

[B]

No, but I. I just have never met anybody with that name, you know? So I think. Look, I like Elsie's advice, because there are certain things that you should keep close to the vest if you don't. Especially if you don't want them shared.

[A]

Wow. You called her L.C. that was. That was. You went real.

[B]

I wanted to sound cool, the reunions happening.

[A]

So I don't know if you remember this, but when me and Fireball Adam went to Red Rocks last summer, she's dating one of the band members.

[B]

Okay. She was members of what?

[A]

You know, it's. It's the artist that Adam loves, has six different bands that he plays with. This guy's a lawyer, but he moonlights as the basis or some like that.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Married to him.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So she was there, and I, you know, of course, we were in, like, the VIP section, so stumbling around drunk, and I'm trying to take a picture. I have a. I actually have a funny picture of me taking the picture, and I'm knocking into her, and she takes.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

She takes my phone and she takes the picture that I was trying to take.

[B]

She got you a good picture.

[A]

I don't even. Honestly, the picture of her taking the picture with me is better than.

[B]

Well, I love her advice. Keep it close to the vest if you don't want to stole him. But also, let's not make such a big deal about it, you know?

[A]

Well, unless it's a tattoo or something insane like that.

[B]

No, I'm talking about the. The. The listener question.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's just. It's kind of thing that could be grading. I. I think it can be.

[B]

So. I think I like. I like your mockery, you know?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Making me. Makes me feel invisible and dumb. I mean, the other thing is, do you say something to them?

[B]

I mean, if it keeps happening, be like, what's up with you? Just taking every reco that I ever give and share with our friends before I get a chance to also, like, how is it happening that way? You know?

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

Saying, like, these rekos by now should be getting out to the world. Right. If you're. If you're not getting them out. Your friend is like, what's happening there, there?

[A]

So maybe she's taking the privacy thing, too, too. She, you know, she has to be more open with her records.

[B]

Right. That's what I'm saying. If. If, like, it keeps happening that all the good reos get out from your friend that you gave to her, maybe you should be sharing them with the wider circle.

[A]

What would you do if your roommate started adopting your hairstyle and fashion?

[B]

It's. That's a funny one, because I do think that happens in high school all the time. Look at all. And look at these guys with the broccoli heads.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Are they bothered by it? No, they think it's cool. They see it the way that, like, in human nature, you see it. Right. It's like a sign of affection or whatever. I'm identifying with your tribe. I was gonna go back to the reco thing for a second, though, because I think the default is to not tell other people who you got your record from. You know, like, anytime you are, like, I know about this good restaurant, you don't also go, hey, this person told me about it.

[A]

Well, it depends. Have you been there?

[B]

If you've been there already. Right.

[A]

But I'm saying, if you go. If you go, hey, Cairo, check out the new Sushi Samba. And. And I've never been. And I just say, hey, check out the new Sushi Samba. That's weird, right?

[B]

Yes. Yes. But I'm saying, if somebody turned you on to something and now you're into it, I don't even think there's an obligation anymore for the credit share.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If there ever was at all. I mean, this is, like, real petty stuff.

[A]

Yeah, I. I suppose if. If I recommend a podcast to you, then you love this podcast. You have to go, hey, Carol told me about this podcast. Right, Right.

[B]

You could. You could. You could. I guess that's like a step above. But again, you know, like, our goal in our pod, where we're coming from, is to not create these little beefs and these little things, like getting credit for everything. Right. You're not sharing the recos, hopefully, so you can get credit.

[A]

Yeah. You're sharing it. To be a good friend and a good person.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So as long as it's getting out there to people on some level, that's great. You know? And you could also be like, look, I'm so glad people are evangelizing my stuff.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. No more little beefs is our conclusion.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But it is annoying.

[A]

Sounds like fair enough. All right, you. Anything else you want to add before I wrap it?

[B]

I was thinking about, like, oh, we were talking about which ones are annoying. It's the cl. There was one other one that I was like, that's annoying. I'm trying to think.

[A]

It's your fashion, it's your. It's your tattoo, it's your doing somebody else's bid.

[B]

Like a story.

[A]

Stealing a story.

[B]

Yeah. I feel like that happens in this town.

[A]

Like. Like a story.

[B]

Like people tell other people's stories like they're theirs. Yeah, that's a crazy one.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. I. Yeah, other people. Do they give. They say it. Do they say it? Oh, this happened to Matt.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know. I just feel like that's a crazy one.

[A]

Yeah. Mine. My only problem with that, like, yeah, they don't. No one tells it as good as me, so don't tell my story. All right, guys, I was asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question, send it to us on Instagram, Manage your podcast and we'll answer on the show. Because, guys, thank you so much for listening. Send us your thoughts on copycat friends. And always remember, be good to yourself. Be good to your friends.

[B]

Love you, buddy. Love you, buddy.

[C]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Thank you for listening.