#188 - Date Your Friends

Summary

Man of the Year – Champions of Friendship

Episode #188 – Date Your Friends
Release Date: June 9, 2026
Hosts: Matt Ritter & Aaron Karo

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Episode Overview

This episode tackles one of friendship’s riskiest, most rewarding topics: dating your friends. Matt and Aaron explore whether making the leap from friendship to romance is a good idea, weighing the lifelong impact of such a move, sharing personal and listener stories, and providing actionable advice (with signature humor) for navigating hook-ups within a friend group, lingering awkwardness, and setups. The big question: Is dating your friend a risk worth taking?

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining "Dating Your Friends"

• [02:07] Aaron clarifies: “Could we just define—dating your friend means you’re friends with someone…and you’re crushing on them and you’re like, let’s take this [to a romantic place]?”
• Not about a one-time hook-up; this is pursuing a real relationship with a platonic friend.

2. Pros of Dating Your Friend

• Built-in trust and comfort:
  • Matt: “A friend already likes the real version of you. So there’s that. Right. There’s a built-in trust already, which is very, like, key cornerstone of a relationship.” [02:45]
• Shared interests and history:
  • “You already like hanging out…most of what an actual relationship is…is just like, who can I just sit next to for a long time and have a good time, do nothing with. And you’re probably into the same stuff if you’re friends.” [03:21]
• Underrated factor – Actually liking the other person:
  • Aaron: “You need to like someone maybe even first before you can love them. Maybe that’s stupid obvious.” [04:15]

3. Cons & Complexities

• Risk to the friendship and the friend group:
  • Matt: “You’re risking the friendship, obviously, and not just yours, potentially blowing up a friend group. And, you know, you lose both…If it goes bad, you’ve lost the relationship and you’ve lost the friendship, so the pressure is higher.” [08:25]
• Confusing feelings:
  • “A lot of the times if you’re starting to have those feelings, like, are they mutual? Are we just friends? Was that the plan all along?” [05:52]
• Can you really go back to being just friends if it ends?
  • Matt: “When relationships end, they don’t usually [end amicably]. So…do you want to be friends with that person? That’s a tough one.” [09:27]

4. Is Attraction Always Underlying?

• Debating if opposite-sex friendships are always harboring hidden attraction.
  • “Can you turn [attraction] off for friendship?” [07:54]
  • Aaron: “Can you just be…have the hots for your platonic friend?” [08:09]
  • Matt: “I think that’s hard. That’s a hard place to be in.” [08:12]

5. Navigating "The Move" (How to Turn Friendship Romantic)

• Communication is key:
  • Matt: “At some point, it has to be communicated. Like, I have these feelings. I think we should try this. You know, and if you both think they are worth trying…you talk it out.” [10:18–10:46]
• Aaron’s ‘elementary school’ approach:
  • “I say you go elementary school style and ask a mutual friend…A. Ask their advice…play it off, and if they’re like, oh, actually, I don’t [see it], that’s interesting.” [11:04]
• Bringing in the friend group:
  • Could/should you announce it to the group and “ask for support”? Aaron jokes: “Just picturing two people getting up at a dinner with their friends and just be like, we’ve decided to date.” [13:33]

6. The Listener Question: Hooking Up with a Friend

• [15:45] Listener asks: “I hooked up with my friend once and we went right back to being friends, but now it’s weirdly hanging in the air. Do we address it or pretend it didn’t happen?”
  • Aaron: “92 to 8. 92 percent bury it, 8 percent address it. Dude, no one talks about anything.” [16:38]
  • Matt: “If it’s lingering, clearly something’s going on for one or both of you…If it’s weird and it’s lingering, I think it’s just like, hey, are we good?” [17:39, 19:46]
  • Best practice: Don’t let “low grade weirdness” simmer—address it, ideally with humor:
    • Aaron: “As always, my advice is to meet this with some humor.” [18:41]
    • “You remember that time we hooked up? Or…did I leave my underwear at your place?” [19:02]
  • If you hook up with a friend: Take them to breakfast the next day!
    • “If you smash your friend, just buy ‘em some eggs…” [21:51]

7. Hooking Up Within the Friend Group – "Homie Hopper"

• Nickname for someone who dates multiple people in a friend group (“homie hopper”)—taken from TikTok.
  • Aaron: “We sound like we’re a thousand years old. And it’s a song by PP Cocaine!” [24:10]

8. Serious Tangent: Observational Reality and Flat Earth??

• After a humorous digression about TikTok algorithms, Aaron and Matt muse (with comic confusion) about nuclear-level skepticism, “Is anything real? I don’t know…World War II happened. I wasn’t there…” [25:55–26:15]
• A classic “off the rails” Man of the Year moment.

9. Friend Setups & Double Opt-In

• Aaron: “If you’re setting up a friend, you need to talk to the person who you’re setting up and…who’s being set up and make sure they’re both down and consenting to the setup. A double opt in setup.” [28:08]
• Matt suggests the viral PowerPoint dating show where friends make a slideshow to pitch their single friends.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Dating your friend is what I would call highest risk, highest reward move in the friendship world.”
  – Matt [01:56]
• “The like part is pretty underrated.”
  – Aaron [04:10]
• Aaron’s 2026 mantra: “What’s the best that could happen?” [14:07]
• Role-playing awkward post-hookup conversations:
  Aaron (as hypothetical woman): "Did I leave my underwear at your place?"
  Matt: "Oh, I just thought it was like a one time thing and you..." [19:02–20:46]
• “If you smash your friend, just buy ‘em some eggs and be like, see you next week. And then if they’re cool, the next time you hang, you should be like, we good? It’s like, we’re good.”
  – Matt [21:51]
• "'Homie hopper'...It's a song by PP Cocaine."
  – Aaron [24:10]

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Important Timestamps & Segments

• 00:20–02:07 – Setting up the topic: Dating Your Friends – Why it’s rarely discussed
• 02:38–05:04 – Defining and exploring the pros of dating a friend
• 05:52–07:14 – Confusing romantic vs. platonic feelings; “Was it always there?”
• 08:25–10:46 – The high stakes and why communication is essential
• 11:16–13:44 – Involving the friend group; “announcing” your relationship
• 15:45–21:51 – Listener question: post-hookup weirdness & best practices
• 23:31–24:22 – Hooking up within the friend group (“homie hopping”)
• 27:14–28:54 – “Double opt-in” for setups; viral PowerPoint pitch format
• Misc – Classic tangents (TikTok, flat earthers, memory fallibility) [24:03–26:59]

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Conclusion & Actionable Takeaways

• Dating a friend is high risk/high reward. It’s not for everyone, but if you sense genuine, mutual interest, it can be “worth the risk”—just be honest and communicate.
• If a friend hookup leads to lingering weirdness, address it. Humor helps diffuse tension. Try a friendly meal as a “reset.”
• Don’t let attachment (or weirdness) linger unspoken. “There’s nothing worse than low grade weirdness.”
• Running a setup? Always get double consent (double opt-in)! Never shock someone with an unsolicited intro.
• If things go wrong, try to preserve the friendship and minimize impact on your friend group.

Aaron’s parting words:
“In conclusion, we do like dating your friends and it’s at a risk we think is worth taking. Make sure you have a conversation first, and I also think you should talk to the rest of the friend group as well…And if you’re setting up a friend, make sure it’s double opt in.” [28:54–end]

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For Further Engagement

• Submit your friendship questions or dating stories via Man of the Year’s Instagram: @manoftheyearpodcast
• Check out their Audible Original and merch at manoftheyearpodcast.com

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Tone: Warm, witty, direct, full of practical wisdom and relatable banter. The hosts maintain their signature balance of comedy and heartfelt advice throughout.

Transcript

[A]

Man of the year. Man of the Year.

[B]

Man of the Year. Welcome to the number one friendship podcast in the country. I'm Matt Ritter.

[A]

I'm Aaron Caro.

[B]

Guys, go to manoftheapodcast.com or audible.com the buddy system, to check out our Audible original. Check out our merch. Watch our pretty faces. You know, Caro, I feel like I had this idea for a topic I'm just going to jump right in. Something we've never covered, which is kind of surprising when you think about all the elements of friendship. Somebody came up to me and they were like, oh, did you ever do one about dating your friends? And I was like, oh, that's actually not when we covered. And then I saw recently was Self magazine, I believe they did an article essentially about the benefits of dating your friends. And then of course, like, obviously the algorithm heard me talking about it, and then it's like all over my Instagram, just people talking about how great it is to date their friends. So I thought that was a good topic for fodder about whether or not it's actually a good idea. My, my personal take is similar to previous episodes. We had some listener questions about fear of becoming friends with your neighbors or your coworkers, and they were basically like, oh, if it doesn't go well, then it causes all kinds of issues. Right. And. And I, I would always reply to those people going, yeah, but the upside is you end up with like, this amazing friendship that's worth the risk. So I think this. Dating your friend is what I would call highest risk, highest reward move in the friendship world.

[A]

Wow. What would you. Could we just define you and dating your friend means you're friend with someone of the opposite sex or the same sex, and you're, and you're like, you're crushing on them and you're like, let's, let's take this.

[B]

Yeah, I think it's different from, like, hooking up with your friend. I. I think this is like, that's fine. Yeah, that. Well, we could talk about that. That's actually in a listener question.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Look, should we get into the pros of dating your friend? Here's, here's, here's. Here's how I see it.

[A]

Sorry, before you. Yeah. Is it, is it. Do we start with the pros because the cons are so obvious? Or, or do you think there's more?

[B]

I mean, I think it's pretty obvious. I mean, I think it's pretty obvious, but yeah, I just wanted to talk about, like, yeah, some of the, some of the things like, you know, dating is hard. Most of the time it doesn't work out and you're doing like the best version of yourself kind of thing. Our fears of dating is that like people will know you're the real you and reject you. Right. And so on some level, a friend already likes the real version of you. So there's that. Right. There's a built in trust already, which is very like key cornerstone of a relationship. And you've already gotten deep. Right. You already like hanging out. How about which I think most of what an actual relationship. People think it's all these other things. I think it's mostly just like, who can I just sit next to for a long time and have a good time, do nothing with. And you're probably into the same stuff if you're friends. That's my pros list.

[A]

Yeah. I thought what was interesting on this in the Self magazine, by the way, who's reading Self magazine?

[B]

I don't even think it's a real magazine. I don't even think they have a hardcover anymore. They just put it out on the Internet pretending like there is a Self magazine.

[A]

Yeah. It's just a slope.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

One of the things that's interesting about the article is that you already like each other.

[B]

Yeah. The liking each other thing is like pretty underrated.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, like forget about somebody in

[B]

a relationship, you also have to like them.

[A]

Yeah. I think that you need to. It's a great point. I feel like you need to like someone maybe even even like first before you can love them. Maybe that's stupid. Obvious.

[B]

It depends. Depends. Because a lot of times, like chemistry people fall in love before they actually know each other.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The like part kind of happens.

[A]

You know, we definitely know some couples who love each other but don't like each other.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, because love sometimes is sustaining and then. But then you kind of just throw to dislike the person's, you know, day to day in the way they are.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But like on a deeper level, you can still love them.

[A]

I mean, listen, I think that those are, those are all true. I mean like, you also kind of know you, you know, you know them, you meet someone off the, off the apps or whatever, they made a perfect stranger. There's just. You have some backstory and you have some history with them. Right. We always talk about history in the friendship podcast. I think that, you know, to me, I mean, I think the upside is pretty obvious. The downside is pretty obvious. You know, one thing I was thinking of is like, is It. Do you think it's difficult to be friends with someone, let's just say opposite sex for now because we're two straight guys. Like, you could be friends with some of the opposite sex and not quite you think you want to, like, get romantic with them, but you just are confusing your friendship feelings with your romantic feelings.

[B]

I think that's part of all of, like, on the con list is like, starting with, you don't even know what. What's going on. A lot of the times if you're starting to have those feelings, like, are they mutual? Are. Are we just friends? Or was that the plan all along? Was I misreading everything? Were we flirting? You know, it does get very confusing.

[A]

But do you think that friendship can manifest itself romantically even though it shouldn't, or.

[B]

Well, as we say, friendship is a relationship, you know. You know, relationships are. Are complicated and, you know, they can. They can change the morph into all kinds of things. Right. So, yeah, I mean, look, I. I do think, you know, that it happens a lot. Right. So what's happening?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You know, I think a lot of them are right. I guess the question is, what was happening, right? Was it a genuine friendship that morphed into a relationship, or was it somebody who really liked you all along but was caught in the friend zone or whatever you want to call it, or the timing wasn't right, you know, Were those feelings always there? Is what you're asking.

[A]

Oh, so you're kind of saying this is. This friendship was like a romantic relationship waiting to happen the whole time?

[B]

Could be. That's what I'm saying. I think that's the other possibility.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

I think that happens. I do think that happens. You don't.

[A]

Well, this goes back to. I mean, I think we have done episodes about opposite sex friendships. You know, can you really be you, you. You know, can you really be friends with an opposite sex person if you're both single?

[B]

What do you think?

[A]

I think so. But I think that again, if you're both single and young, say we're.

[B]

Yeah, look, I mean, I don't think everybody's attracted to everybody.

[A]

Yeah, that's true. No, of course not. I mean, yeah, of course.

[B]

Right, of course.

[A]

How do you think you are?

[B]

Can you turn that off for friendship? You know?

[A]

Oh, that's interesting. So, like, you like a friend, or you're attracted to your friend, but you, for whatever reason, don't make a move or don't want to make a move. Can you just. Can you just be. Have the hots for your platonic friend.

[B]

Right. I think that's hard.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's a hard place to be in.

[A]

Just being friends with just a someone that you want to go.

[B]

I love that you said. That sounded so. Back to the future. You've got. You've got the hot spur.

[A]

You want to jump their bones. They always sound very old.

[B]

That's amazing. Or the hotspur. Anyway, look, we know what the cons are, too. You're risking the friendship, obviously, and not just yours, potentially blowing up a friend group. And, you know, you lose both. Right. You know, I mean, it's like you. If it goes bad, you've lost the relationship and you've lost the friendship, so the pressure is higher.

[A]

Why can't friends who become lovers just go back to friends?

[B]

They can if it doesn't go poorly. Right. Because a lot of relationships end poorly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And they. And they. Sometimes they end with one person still in love with the other one. So that would be a little bit of a tough one to go. Yeah. Look, I. I want us to just be friends. And then they're like, but I'm in love with you. And you're like, yeah, I know. But we'll just. Let's just be pals. Pals, Right.

[A]

Right. I guess. I guess my question is kind of silly, because forget about being friends. What relationship ever ends so amicably that you're just.

[B]

It's hard. It's very hard. Right. When relationships. And they don't usually. Right. So it's like, do you want to be friends with that person? That's a. That's a tough one. But a lot of people try to. I think that's what they try to. You know, a lot of people are afraid of losing their friendship to try it, but I think it's worth the risk. If you both think it's, you know, there's something there. I think it's worth exploring.

[A]

Well, you made a very bold statement there. If you both think it's. I mean. What do you mean, both? How. How the hell are you supposed to know that?

[B]

Communicate it.

[A]

Okay, well, Mr.

[B]

I'm saying, I think a lot of people who take friendships up to actual relationship level have great communication about it.

[A]

That's true. Friends have. But I'm saying, okay, Dr. Ruth, you have the hots for your friend Lisa. What are you gonna do?

[B]

Right? So I think you guys. You go, hey, I think we should try this. Right?

[A]

Just out of nowhere.

[B]

No, not out of nowhere. I mean, obviously, if you're getting the signals.

[A]

Matt. Classic doesn't Know, small talk, Matt, goes right to medium to large.

[B]

No, I'm just saying if you're getting all. At some point, it has to be communicated. Like, I have these feelings. I think we should try this. You know, and if you both think they are worth trying, and I think you do, I mean, you have to. Look, I think you talk it out. You go, look, I. Can we both agree that if it's, you know, if it's not working out, can we stay friends? Look, it's gonna be hard.

[A]

Whenever you communicate I love you, continue to just gloss right over. First of all, once you say, oh, I've got feelings for you, you're the cat's out of the bag. The other person, like, I don't feel that way.

[B]

I think you're probably doing it because you think those are going to be requited.

[A]

Of course, you always think the other person thinks you're into you, and half the time they're not.

[B]

Right. I'm saying. But I don't think you think it's a surprise.

[A]

Okay, here's my pitch. I say you go elementary school style and ask a mutual friend.

[B]

Now you're like bringing the whole friend group into it.

[A]

Oh, take everyone down if you got. No.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Hey, no, hold on, Matt. Here's my pitch. A. Ask their advice. Hey, like, think about me and Lisa,

[B]

like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And just play it off. And if they're like, oh, actually, I don't. You know, that's interesting.

[B]

Chances are the other people, the friend group know if there's some sort of chemistry, then.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know. I.

[B]

This stuff, it doesn't usually come out of the blue.

[A]

I don't know. But think about all those stories. Oh, we. He was my friend for, like 20 years and then this and that, and then all of a sudden one day. Right.

[B]

But I don't think it was all of a sudden. I think it was always there. A lot of the times.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Or the other person, like, right. Circumstances weren't right. There's always the. As Chris Rock called it, the D in the box

[A]

in case emergency, break glass.

[B]

Right, right, right, right.

[A]

It's funny, too, because whenever we have someone in a script and they're just like two single people, the. The note is always like, what's the obstacle? You got to put an obstacle.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

One guy's married and the other person is whatever. So. Okay, but I do think.

[B]

Look, I do think you talk about it openly and you just agree. If it goes sideways, try to handle it. Like, adults try not to destroy their, you know, the friendship, but that doesn't mean you're not going to. But I think if you at least throw that on the table of, like, here's the game plan of this thing, you know?

[A]

Okay, so let me. Let's bring it back to the rest of the friend group. What if we got the rest of the friend group. Okay, we have the conversation. Matt, you just described.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What if we have the. Then, Then bring the rest of the crew and. Okay, here. Hey, gang, we're gonna try this. Here's the parameters. We. What? We loved your support.

[B]

I feel like in movies it always happens where they surprise the rest of the gang, you know, it's already happening.

[A]

It didn't, like, Chandler and Monica sneak around or something? Yeah, yeah. But is that. Is. Is that something, like, make it a.

[B]

I don't think so. It's not a group decision, you know?

[A]

No, no, not a decision. Just of, like, a framework of, like, hey, we're gonna try this. We'd love your support. And we've decided that if it doesn't work out, we're going to go back to friends and we'd love to.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I. I don't know if you have to, like, address the whole group, but. Yeah, that is kind of a funny moment. Like picturing two people getting up at a dinner with their friends and just be like, we've decided to date.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I think that's kind of funny.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, I. As I said, I think all these things, like, people are always looking at downside first. It feels to me when we get these listener questions, it feels always like, oh, I'm worried about this. Well, what about all. What about this could be your potential life partner. Is that worth it? Isn't that worth it? If you really think there's something there, listen.

[A]

You know my mantra. What's the best that could happen? 20, 26.

[B]

I like it. What's the best that happened? Can we. Should we take a listener question, guys?

[A]

We'll be right back with a listener question.

[C]

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[A]

Berry Blast is here with berry flavor and cold foam. Sprite from McDonald's just got bluer, one of many new drinks now at McDonald's. Copyright 2026 the Coca Cola Company. Sprite is a registered trademark of the Coca Cola Company. Okay, guys, this is asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question or ethical dilemma, send it to us on Instagram. Our handle is man of the Year podcast and we will answer it on the show. Matthew, take it away.

[B]

So this is somewhat tangential, but. Hey, Matt Caro, I've got a hookup question. I hooked up with my friend once and we went right back to being friends, but. But now it's weirdly hanging in the air. Do we address it or pretend it didn't happen?

[A]

I mean, obviously it depends on the situation here. If it's just hanging in the air, they haven't hooked up again.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So there's not necessarily romantic feelings. I guess they would have said that. I say you bury it.

[B]

I think that's what most people do. Right. Is that. Is that, like, what do you think is the. What do you think is the, like, ratio of, like, burying it to addressing it? If it's a one timer,

[A]

92 to 8.

[B]

You think. You think 92? They just bury it?

[A]

Dude, no one talks about anything.

[B]

Right? Well, because, look, the listener already said it's hanging, right? Right. Like acting like it's hanging. If it's hanging in the air, then it matters. Right? Because, like, if it doesn't matter, then it's not hanging. Right. Like, what you're saying is that, like, 92% of people don't talk about it, but you're assuming that the 92. Are you assuming that those 92% of the people don't have it weirdly hanging in the air?

[A]

No. I bet you of that 92, 45% are hanging chads.

[B]

Right? Right. So there should be. I think what we want to do is line up. We want to have a better sync between the Lingering and the CH sense. Right, Right. We don't want. We want it addressed if it's hanging weirdly. If it's not hanging. If it's not lingering. Yeah. Then you don't have a problem. Right. But this listener said to us, essentially, I have a problem. Should I fix it? Right. Like, yes, I'm gonna say yes.

[A]

They're in the 55 of the 92.

[B]

Right. Like, I'm gonna say yes. Like, because if it's lingering, clearly it's. Something's going on for one or both of you.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And. And he didn't say. Or she didn't say it was. It was one or the other person who it's hanging for.

[A]

Right. Okay, so how do you. You've smashed with your friend. It's one time. Smash. It's lingering. What do you do? I say you go to the other friends in the group. No, I'm joking.

[B]

I mean, because, look, the reason you're not addressing it is because you're trying to preserve the friendship. Right. You think? Or maybe you're just. It's just too weird. Right? Not. Right. It's just awkward. But I'm saying they think not addressing it is the better move.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But clearly in this situation, not addressing it is causing a low grade weird. I hate low grade weirdness.

[A]

I think, as always, is, my advice is to meet this with some humor.

[B]

Humor's good here.

[A]

You know, you're with the person. You remember that time we. We hooked up? Or be like, you know, I was

[B]

thinking about that time we banged.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did I leave my underwear at your place? No.

[C]

That's weird.

[B]

That's good, right? Because, like, who wants to be in a friend group where, like, one of your friends, like, even if it's not hooking up, like, there's nothing worse than low grade weirdness, no matter what it's about. Just like a lingering thing every time you see somebody who wants to live like that.

[A]

Well, let me ask you this, though. What could possibly transpire in this conversation that would make anybody feel better?

[B]

Well, I think it would be a lot better if it's. Look, if it's weird and it's lingering, I think it's just like, hey, are we good? Like, I'm good either way. I just don't want us to be weird. I love hanging out with you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, isn't that better? And you're clear and you're done.

[A]

So you go, you good? And they go, yeah, yeah, it's totally fine. Then you.

[B]

I think that's all you Am I wrong? Like, am I crazy here? I think that's all you need.

[A]

Well, what other responses to are you good? Could you conceivably receive?

[B]

Not really. Say I'm K. Say I'm the chick you just smash is in your friend group.

[A]

You go, hey. Hey. You know the other night, like, you're good, right?

[B]

No, not really.

[A]

I wish I didn't bring this up.

[B]

You didn't call me after.

[A]

Oh, I. I didn't. I just thought, like, it was like a one time thing and you.

[B]

Yeah, but still, I mean, I don't know, you made me feel like a piece of trash.

[A]

I'm. I'm sorry, Lisa. Like, I didn't mean it that way. You mean your friendship means a lot to me. I'm happy to talk about it more if you want.

[B]

No, I'm fine. No, I'm fine. I just didn't like the way you treated me.

[A]

Okay. Do you want to do it again?

[B]

Yeah, we should do that again. No, I. Look, there's definitely ways it could go sideways if you're like, you're good. Like, because we don't. You don't know why the person is feeling awkward. They may think that maybe there was something more there or, you know, they didn't want it. They're feeling a little buyer's remorse.

[A]

Okay, well, this, this role play, which was. I never. I want to forget immediately.

[B]

Yeah. We did some role play on the book, didn't we?

[A]

We did to. Okay, so let's say you do smash with your friend. Should you. How? Should you. Should you call. Should you take him to brunch? Like, should you call them the next day? Like, what are the best practices for?

[B]

Yes, I was thinking about that. Right. Don't you think? I don't know. Right. Is that the right move to just be like, let's go get something to eat, like friends?

[A]

I think that's the. That's the move. Yeah, the. Yeah, because actually the. The awkwardness grows the longer the distance.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. Like, I think you just. If you smash your friend, just buy him some eggs and then just be like, call it a day and be like, see you next week. And then if they're cool, the next time you hang, you should be like, we good? It's like, we're good.

[A]

Yeah. People love to be taken for breakfast the next day.

[B]

Yeah. Because, like, regardless, they still feel like, you know, you penetrated. Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I think so. And so you. Are you on in all circumstances? You're You. You. You don't think you should bury it? Any circumstance where you think you should bury it?

[B]

I don't know the answer to that.

[A]

What if it was really bad?

[B]

Oh, like the. Oh, the encounter.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Then you're just gonna want to move on. You know, it was a mess.

[A]

Yeah. Sloppy mess.

[B]

What a Balagan.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I think. Listen, if it's hanging over you, but. But I think you also got to be wary of, like. Okay, is it. Does it seem like it's hanging over the other person or. They seem fine with it.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. Is there a mutual hanging. Are you just. Are you just feeling weird about. Check the other person's. Like, if they're walking around, fine. I think you just go, we good? And they go, yeah, we're good. Move on.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

You've been. You've been given the reins to, like, move on.

[A]

What about hooking up with multiple people in the same friend group?

[B]

Making your way around, Making my way

[A]

down,

[B]

doing the rounds. Isn't that called a friend hop? Homie hopper?

[A]

I mean, I think that's probably a sexist homie hopper.

[B]

No, I saw it on Tik Tok. Homie hopper.

[A]

Okay, I love how. I love how you think if you saw it on Tik Tok. It's not. It's not sexist. Like, someone who sleeps with multiple guys in the friend group.

[B]

Yeah, I saw it was called a homie hopper.

[A]

Yeah, I know. Stop saying homie hopper. I understand what you're saying, but I think.

[B]

I know. I don't think so. I don't. I think she was saying it proudly.

[A]

The woman was calling herself.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Slang term for a person who dates or hooks up. We sound like we're a thousand years old. And it's a song by PP Cocaine.

[B]

I don't know. Yeah, there's songs about it. You know, I think it's the homie hopper.

[A]

Your. Your ins. Your tick tock is. Have I told you, like, the new thing that my tick tock algo is sending me to? It's conductors.

[B]

Train conductors. Music conductors.

[A]

Music conductors.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

It's. It's orchestras surprising the conductor by sick by doing Happy Birthday. Have you seen that?

[B]

No. Oh, that's gonna make me cry.

[A]

So the conductor starts to do his thing, and then they start playing a different song, and for a split second, he's like, what the.

[B]

You guys are screwing up a conductor if they're not doing.

[A]

Exactly. You know how small and niche that is, Matt. It's probably happened five times in the history of the world.

[B]

Oh, that's beautiful. That's beautiful.

[A]

Yeah, so it's. A lot of mine's giving me flat

[B]

Earth stuff this week with the Artemis launch. People still are. People are still doing the flat Earth thing.

[A]

But wouldn't the Artemis launch go make people go the other way?

[B]

You would think they're saying the photos aren't good enough.

[A]

First of all, I don't. So was a flat Earther think it will look like a square?

[B]

I know they think the photos are not real. They don't think they're out there. The question is, I think they think they're at the defunct, you know, studio that, you know, Raleigh Studios, wherever they shot them.

[A]

I mean, the fact is, is anything real? I don't know.

[B]

No, there's no way of knowing. We could be in a simulation, of course, but, I mean, it's pretty obvious that the Earth is a ball.

[A]

No, but I'm saying, like, to take an extreme example, like, I don't know, World War II happened. I wasn't there.

[B]

You weren't alive. Yeah, but, but we're connected. That's why you have to write the stories and listen to the people who were there.

[A]

Yeah, but how do. I don't know if they were there.

[B]

No, I know. Listen, obviously, if only. If we only take observable things to be facts, but even observable things, we all have a different observation.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I was just.

[B]

No two people share the same observation.

[A]

I, I, I, I want to look it up later, but there was something that Malcolm Gladwell did with survivors from 9 11, where every year he interviewed them again about their experiences. And it just kept getting farther and farther. And apart from what happened or what they saw or yada yada. Wow, we went down a real rabbit hole. Do we answer that question?

[B]

I think so. Yeah.

[A]

All right, guys, I was asking for a friend. If you have a friendship question, send it to us on Instagram. I will answer on the show. Matt, before we go, you also potentially wanted to talk about your friends setting you up.

[B]

There's this, there's this live show that keeps popping up on my Instagram where these people do a PowerPoint slide and they set up their friends, and it's become kind of like a fun, trendy dating show in a couple of major cities, which I think is hilarious because it's like, I'd love, I think everybody would kind of love to see what their friends would put about them on a PowerPoint slide.

[A]

Yeah. You know, you Offered to do it for me and I said, no way, Jose.

[B]

No way, no chance.

[A]

Well, I don't know. Do you know how to do PowerPoint?

[B]

I would have Jesse do a Google sheet. Sheet.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Google Slides.

[B]

I would have Jesse do a Google Slide.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

That's what it would have had done for you. I just thought it was.

[A]

Well, I. Guys, I lost Matt for a second here. Matt seems to be frozen, so I'm just gonna talk myself until he comes back. I'm. I'm all for friends setting up friends, but as long time listeners will know, it's got to be double opt in. Okay? It's got to be. It's got to be double opt in. Okay? If you're setting up a friend, you need to talk to the person who you're setting up and you need to talk to the person who's being set up and make sure they're both down and consenting to the setup. A double opt in setup. Because too many times in my life, either just people just send me someone's number or they introduced me to someone and they haven't even gotten my consent first.

[B]

And.

[A]

And I really don't like that. Long time listeners will know. Also, double opt in for all of your business needs. Anything else. If you're introducing someone, always make sure that the person you're introducing. Excuse me. Wow, this pod is really going off the rails at the last minute. Matt's not even in the studio anymore, which has never happened before. He's just dropped out. So I'm just finishing the last two minutes of this pod by myself. So, yes, back to double opt in. I just feel like it's very important that you make sure that the person you're introducing or you're setting up they. Sorry, now I have to sneeze. This is insane. Just make sure that they know what they're doing. So in conclusion, we do like dating your friends and it's at a risk we think it's worth taking. Make sure you have a conversation first, and I also think you should talk to the rest of the friend group as well. There's obviously great risks, but if it doesn't work, if it does work out, you find a life partner. If it doesn't work out, you potentially lost a friend. And if you're setting up a friend, make sure it's double opt in. All right, Matt's not here, so I'm going to end the podcast by myself. Let us know about your dating your friend stories. Always remember, be good to yourself. Be good to your friends love you, buddy. And he would usually say Oregon parks

[C]

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[A]

If you like the show, please take

[B]

a moment to rate, review and subscribe. It really does help the show to grow.

[A]

Thank you for listening.