Podcast Summary: "I Am Allowed to Not Have All the Answers"
Podcast: Mantra with Jemma Sbeg
Host: Jemma Sbeg
Episode: I Am Allowed to Not Have All the Answers
Date: November 3, 2025
Overview
The main theme of this episode is embracing uncertainty and allowing yourself not to have all the answers in life. Jemma Sbeg explores the psychological roots of our discomfort with uncertainty, shares personal anecdotes, and offers practical strategies and journal prompts for listeners to reframe their relationship with not knowing. The episode aims to help listeners move from anxiety to curiosity, fostering personal growth and greater self-compassion.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Why We’re So Afraid of Uncertainty
[04:10–08:30]
- Uncertainty as a Universal Fear: Jemma unpacks why uncertainty is so paralyzing, noting it is the root behind many fears—from sickness and death to the future.
- Evolutionary Perspective: “From an evolutionary perspective, the unknown has always carried more potential threat.” The amygdala (brain’s fear center) interprets unpredictability as danger, triggering the fight-or-flight response (cortisol, adrenaline).
- Need for Control: Humans crave patterns and predictability to conserve mental energy; uncertainty erases the mental blueprint, leading to cognitive overload and anxiety.
- Intolerance of Uncertainty: Some people are more sensitive to uncertainty due to biological differences, making the quest for control more urgent for them.
- Existential Anxiety: At its deepest, uncertainty challenges our sense of meaning and identity—reminding us how fragile and uncontrollable life is.
The Reframe: From Threat to Freedom
[08:30–13:40]
- Perspective Shift: Jemma describes the freeing realization that life was never meant to be fully controlled. Trying to predict or force answers is futile—and acceptance can bring peace.
- “I’m going to be the one to tell you this. It’s just never going to happen...You just can’t.” [10:51]
- Cognitive Reappraisal: By reframing uncertainty as opportunity, not threat, we reduce stress and open up new possibilities.
- Living in the Present: Letting go of the need for answers draws us into the present moment, increases clarity, and makes room for curiosity, patience, even awe.
- Breaking the “What If” Cycle: Uncertainty is not inherently bad; not knowing has no correlation with a bad outcome.
- “Uncertainty loses its power when you realize that not knowing the outcome actually has no correlation to the outcome being bad.” [13:22]
- Self-Trust: Living with uncertainty strengthens self-trust—we can’t predict outcomes but can trust our resilience.
Curiosity as the Antidote
[13:40–15:26]
- Curiosity Mindset: Rather than judging or fearing the unknown, curiosity invites exploration: “Curiosity asks you to think about what you could learn and what you could discover and what could go right.”
- Biological Benefits: Curiosity triggers the brain’s reward system (dopamine), making uncertainty not just bearable, but a place for growth.
- Letting Go of the Pressure: “When we step back from the pressure to know it all, a lot more is actually seemingly revealed to us.”
Jemma’s Personal Reflections
[16:27–20:38]
- Growing Through Uncertainty: Jemma shares her own experiences with not having the answers during times of change—graduation, traveling alone, quitting a job, and heartbreak. Even positive unknowns can feel scary.
- Dark Night of the Soul: She introduces this concept as periods where former sources of meaning fall away, leaving us in a vulnerable “liminal space.” It’s uncomfortable but holds seeds of transformation.
- Transformative Potential: Not knowing forces honest self-reflection and resets our sense of self. She cites Carl Jung’s belief that suffering/disorientation are essential for individuation.
Practical Exercises for Embracing the Unknown
[22:43–24:08]
- Expose Yourself to Small Unknowns: For example, Jemma tries not to spoil movies anymore; listeners could try sending a message without checking it ten times or not checking the weather before going out.
- Probability Thinking: Instead of demanding certainty, assign probabilities to outcomes (e.g., “40% it goes well, 20% okay, 10% terrible”). This calms black-and-white thinking.
- Vicarious Learning: Remember that people we admire often went through periods of not knowing before building remarkable lives.
Reflection & Journal Prompts
[24:38–26:37]
Quote of the Day
- Socrates: “The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.”
- Jemma: “It invites intellectual humility...Realizing how much you don’t know means that you have done something that very few humans will ever do, which is move beyond the illusion of certainty.” [24:50]
Journal Prompts
- How do you usually respond when you don’t know what to do or don’t have the answers? Do you hide it, admit it, or push through anyway?
- Where in your life do you feel the most pressure to have everything figured out? How is that holding you back?
- How could allowing yourself to not have all the answers create more space for curiosity and possibility?
Final Thoughts & Takeaways
[27:00–29:30]
- Jemma reflects on her own struggle: “I think because I’m someone who maybe just innately believes that if I think about things harder, if I analyze them further, I can get to the bottom of it...I can tell you now, it has been a lot more freeing to just be okay with not knowing.” [27:05]
- Not knowing isn’t a weakness or being lost—it’s often where growth and positive surprises happen.
- She urges listeners to turn fear into curiosity and gratitude for the present, trusting that best-case or neutral scenarios are as likely as worst-case ones.
Notable Quotes & Moments
- “We can commend our brain for wanting to protect us…and still realize that it’s not entirely helpful.” [05:13]
- “When we step back from the pressure to know it all, a lot more is actually seemingly revealed to us.” [14:52]
- “Uncertainty loses its power when you realize that not knowing the outcome actually has no correlation to the outcome being bad.” [13:22]
- “If we had all the answers, we’d never be surprised, we’d never grow, we’d never discover the amazing stuff that awaits us after the uncertainty.” [19:36]
- Journal prompts encourage gentle self-inquiry rather than pressuring listeners to have answers immediately.
Episode Structure & Timestamps
| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------------------|---------------| | Introduction & Mantra of the Week | [00:14–01:30] | | Main Theme: Embracing Uncertainty | [04:10–13:40] | | Curiosity vs. Anxiety | [13:40–15:26] | | Jemma’s Reflections & “Dark Night of the Soul” | [16:27–20:38] | | Practical Strategies for Living with Uncertainty | [22:43–24:08] | | Reflection, Quote, and Journal Prompts | [24:38–26:37] | | Final Thoughts and Wrap-Up | [27:00–29:30] |
Tone and Style
Jemma’s delivery is gentle, compassionate, and reflective. She shares psychological explanations, personal stories, and actionable strategies in a relatable, reassuring tone—empowering listeners while normalizing their experiences with uncertainty.
In Summary
This episode provides a comforting guide to letting go of the need for certainty. Jemma reassures listeners that not having answers is not only normal but essential for growth, creativity, and authentic living. Through understanding, reframing, and gentle experimentation, listeners are encouraged to trust in themselves and open up to new possibilities—even in the unknown.