Podcast Summary: Mantra with Jemma Sbeg — "I Am Not Too Much"
Episode Date: September 15, 2025
Host: Jemma Sbeg (OpenMind)

Episode Overview

This week’s episode unpacks the mantra: “I am not too much.”
Jemma Sbeg explores how society often pressures us to shrink ourselves—our personalities, ambitions, emotions—in order to be accepted, and guides listeners on reclaiming and celebrating their full presence. She blends personal stories, cultural critique, audience reflection, and practical challenges to empower listeners to live authentically and unapologetically.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal Story: Childhood and Feeling ‘Too Much’

[06:03 – 09:50]

• Jemma recounts her childhood experience of being excluded and labeled as “too loud,” “annoying,” and “weird” by both peers and teachers.
• “I just felt, I think, quite excluded because of my presumed muchness. And that was a very formative experience for me.” (Jemma Sbeg, 08:33)
• She describes the long-lasting impact—hypervigilance in social situations, self-censorship, and stifling her authentic self for fear of not being liked or included.

2. Societal Conditioning & The Roots of ‘Too Much’

[09:51 – 18:40]

• Jemma dissects how societal expectations train us to see expressiveness, sensitivity, and ambition as problematic, especially for women.
• Examples include:
  • Classrooms where quietness is praised and loudness criticized.
  • Media representations that frame ambitious women as “too much.”
  • “In Australia, we have a special term for this—‘tall poppy syndrome,’ which basically says the flowers that grow and bloom tallest are the first to be cut down.” (Jemma Sbeg, 14:33)
• She highlights both overt and subtle societal cues, including micro-reactions and lack of representation in stories.

3. Gender, Culture, and the Self-policing of Expression

[13:25 – 15:25]

• Discussion of gender socialization: young girls are encouraged to be small and polite; boys are allowed to be loud and outgoing.
• Eventually, people internalize these judgments and begin to self-censor, often unconsciously.

4. The Social Cost of Shrinking Ourselves

[18:40 – 25:32]

• Society is wrong to treat “muchness” as inherently problematic.
• “What we call too much is often simply someone refusing to shrink themselves to fit within arbitrary limits… They are allowed to behave how they want to behave if they're not hurting someone. And someone being too much is not hurting someone.” (Jemma Sbeg, 19:36)
• The belief that blending in is safest leaves people disconnected from their own truth.
• Suppressing self-expression has serious mental health costs—diminished contentment, increased insecurity, and anxiety.

5. Reframing “Too Much” as a Strength

[19:40 – 27:55]

• “If we began to see our intensity and our passion as gifts, I think we would really open the door to a culture where people are celebrated for the full range of their humanity, rather than punished for it.” (Jemma Sbeg, 22:03)
• “Calling someone too much...says so much more about the speaker’s capacity to receive than it does about the worth of the person being described.” (Jemma Sbeg, 21:58)
• Jemma invites listeners to question their own reactions to others’ “muchness”—recognizing learned discomfort and envy.

6. Practical Strategies: How to Reclaim Your ‘Muchness’

[27:55 – 32:00]

• Radical self-compassion: Practice treating your intensity and passion with the same kindness you’d give a friend.
  • “When we catch ourselves labeling our traits as flaws, we can pause and offer words of kindness instead and just remind ourselves that these qualities are part of being fully human.” (Jemma Sbeg, 28:10)
• Cognitive restructuring: Become aware of internal monologues (“I’m too much”), actively shift how you speak to and about yourself.
• Expect discomfort—social pushback is inevitable, and unlearning this conditioning takes time and repeated effort.
  • “You might encounter pushback from others who have grown comfortable with smaller versions of themselves, but you don't have to be comfortable with that just because they're doing it.” (Jemma Sbeg, 30:15)

7. Notable Quote & Deep Thought of the Day

[32:15 – 33:00]

• Quoting Glennon Doyle:
  • “You are not too much. You never have been too much. You will never be too much. People who say you are, are simply not now and never were your people.”
  • Jemma encourages reframing “too much” as a mismatch of environments, not a personal flaw.

Guided Reflection & Journal Prompts

[33:25 – 35:00]

Jemma provides prompts for self-discovery:

1. When have you been made to feel like you were too much? How did that affect your self-perception?
2. How has fear of being too much held you back from speaking up, asking for what you need, or pursuing what you want?
3. What would it look like to show up as yourself—without fear of being judged or misunderstood?

She recommends listeners either journal or simply reflect on these.

Weekly Challenge

[36:35 – 37:55]

• Action Step: This week, unapologetically take up space at least once.
• Suggestions: Speak up in a meeting, wear a bold outfit, ask the question you’d normally repress, or simply don’t say “sorry” when you have nothing to apologize for.
• “Just intentionally let yourself be in that space and let yourself be seen and be heard in whatever form you are coming in.” (Jemma Sbeg, 37:35)

Close & Final Reflections

[37:55 – 40:25]

• Jemma shares how being told she was too much has evolved from feeling like an insult to recognizing it as a compliment.
• “In case no one has ever told you this, let me be very, very clear: You were never too loud. You were never too sensitive. You will never be too ambitious or too much in other people's way. You were simply just too expansive for the spaces that asked you to stay small and the relationships that asked you to stay small.” (Jemma Sbeg, 39:00)
• The episode ends with the reminder: you don’t belong in places or relationships that require you to shrink yourself.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “How come you have to be silent to make them comfortable, but they don't have to tolerate what they don't like about you to make you comfortable?” (Jemma Sbeg, 11:54)
• “There is nothing wrong with being a bright, vibrant, loud person. In fact, you don't owe anybody not doing that.” (Jemma Sbeg, 20:24)
• “People who say you are too much... are simply not now and never were your people.” (Glennon Doyle, quoted by Jemma, 32:40)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Personal Story of Exclusion: 06:03 – 09:50
• Societal Conditioning: 09:51 – 18:40
• Gender Socialization: 13:25 – 15:25
• Why Society Gets It Wrong: 18:40 – 25:32
• Reframing and Strategies: 25:33 – 32:00
• Glennon Doyle Quote & Reflection: 32:15 – 33:00
• Journal Prompts: 33:25 – 35:00
• Weekly Challenge: 36:35 – 37:55
• Final Reflection: 37:55 – 40:25

Tone & Style

The episode is warm, empowering, and reflective, blending personal vulnerability with incisive social commentary. Jemma’s candid, thoughtful tone invites listeners to explore their own histories and offers practical, compassionate ways to reclaim full self-expression.

For listeners navigating their sense of identity or struggling with feeling “too much,” this episode provides validation, relatable stories, and a toolkit for personal growth.