Podcast Summary: "I Choose Forgiveness, Even Without an Apology"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Mantra with Jemma Sbeg
• Host: Gemma Spag (OpenMind)
• Episode: I Choose Forgiveness, Even Without an Apology
• Release Date: April 14, 2025

Introduction

In the April 14, 2025 episode of Mantra with Jemma Sbeg, host Gemma Spag delves into the profound and challenging mantra: "I choose forgiveness, even without an apology." This episode explores the intricate emotions and psychological benefits associated with forgiving others, especially when acknowledgment or remorse from the offender is absent. Gemma combines personal anecdotes, insightful reflections, and practical advice to guide listeners through the journey of forgiveness.

Gemma's Personal Health Experience

The episode begins with Gemma sharing a deeply personal and terrifying health scare. During a routine eye checkup, she discovers she has optic neuritis, a condition involving the swelling of the optic nerve that can lead to vision loss. This unexpected diagnosis thrust Gemma into a whirlwind of fear and uncertainty.

Gemma Spag [08:15]: "It really was a lesson in taking your health seriously, getting things checked early, getting things checked regularly, even things that you don't normally think of."

This harrowing experience underscores the importance of addressing unresolved issues promptly—a theme that parallels the main discussion on forgiveness.

Exploring Forgiveness: Concepts and Misconceptions

Gemma transitions into the core topic by acknowledging the difficulty of forgiveness. She emphasizes that forgiving someone who hasn't apologized is not an easy path but is crucial for personal peace.

Gemma Spag [12:30]: "Forgiveness is not the easiest route we can take when faced with situations where someone has hurt us... it's releasing us from so much emotional pain and turmoil."

She addresses common misconceptions:

• Forgiveness Misconceptions:
  • It means the other person is condoned.
  • It grants permission for repeated offenses.
  • It signifies weakness or loss of power.

Gemma Spag [15:20]: "Forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean permission. It doesn't necessarily mean reconciliation."

The Importance of Forgiving Without an Apology

Delving deeper, Gemma explains why choosing to forgive without waiting for an apology is empowering. She clarifies that forgiveness is primarily for the forgiver's well-being, not for the offender's benefit.

Gemma Spag [18:45]: "Forgiveness is screaming and then silence. Forgiveness is struggle and then stillness."

She highlights the physiological and psychological benefits of forgiveness, such as reducing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which can alleviate risks of anxiety, depression, and high blood pressure.

Gemma Spag [21:10]: "Holding on to anger and hurt... affects our mental, emotional, even physical well-being."

Gemma's Personal Story of Forgiveness

Gemma recounts a poignant personal story from her past relationship that profoundly impacted her spirituality and self-perception. At 18, she was deeply involved in a newfound religious community and fell in love with a man who represented a significant anchor in her spiritual journey. However, the relationship abruptly ended, leaving Gemma feeling rejected and spiritually traumatized.

Gemma Spag [24:50]: "I was in so much pain emotionally and mentally... I wanted him to suffer."

Instead of allowing anger and resentment to consume her, Gemma made a conscious decision to forgive him, not for his sake, but to reclaim her own peace and move forward.

Gemma Spag [30:20]: "Forgiveness is setting a prisoner free and discovering that the prisoner was you."

Her encounter years later, where she meets her former partner who has moved on and is married, serves as a testament to the liberating power of forgiveness without requiring an apology.

Gemma Spag [33:15]: "If I hadn't have forgiven you, I would still be in that same place today, angry and bitter and sad."

Practical Applications: Journal Prompts and Challenges

To help listeners integrate the mantra into their lives, Gemma provides thoughtful journal prompts and a practical weekly challenge:

Journal Prompts:

1. Peace Without Apology: If you knew you would never receive an apology for something you need to forgive, what steps would you take to find peace?
2. Fears and Beliefs: What fears or beliefs hinder your ability to forgive without an apology?
3. Reframing Forgiveness: Do you associate forgiveness with negative emotions like weakness or losing power? How can you reframe these thoughts?
4. Small Steps: What is one small step you can take today to move toward forgiveness, even if you're not fully ready?

Weekly Challenge:

• Write a Letter: Compose a letter to someone you haven't forgiven. Express all your feelings—anger, disappointment, hurt—without holding back. After writing, do not send it; instead, safely destroy it (burn, tear, or bottle it away) as a symbolic act of releasing the burden.

Gemma Spag [36:10]: "We are going to burn it safely. We are going to tear it into tiny shreds... to come back to."

Final Reflections and Takeaways

In her concluding thoughts, Gemma reiterates the essence of the mantra:

Gemma Spag [40:55]: "Forgiveness without an apology isn't about the other person or their feelings. It's about choosing what we want to carry and choose what we want to release."

She emphasizes that forgiveness is a continual practice aimed at preserving one's mental and emotional health. By letting go of resentment, individuals free themselves from the lasting impacts of past hurts, paving the way for a more fulfilling and unburdened life.

Gemma Spag [41:30]: "Choosing to release it might just change what happens next."

Conclusion

"I Choose Forgiveness, Even Without an Apology" serves as a powerful exploration of the transformative journey toward internal peace through forgiveness. Gemma Spag masterfully combines personal vulnerability with practical guidance, encouraging listeners to embrace forgiveness as a tool for personal liberation. Whether grappling with past betrayals or seeking emotional resilience, this episode offers profound insights and actionable steps to help navigate the complex landscape of forgiveness.