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Welcome back. We are going to get into this week's mantra in just a minute, but before we do, I want to fill you in a bit on what's been going on with me lately and how this particular mantra has been showing up in my life. I feel like no matter what time of the year it is, I always am busy. I'm always saying, oh, I'm busy because it's the new year. I'm busy because it's the middle of the year. I'm busy because it's the end of the year. But for me, the start of the year is definitely my busy season. I think with a new season always brings new priorities for me and new ideas and new routines and new ways of seeing my life. It is always the case when we turn into a new year and we enter into a new chapter that I think we have these moments of contemplation and thinking and considering what we actually want from our life. And then that combined with family obligations, going back to work, launching new projects, everything is always up in the air, never sitting firmly in my lap. It always feels like there are a million things on my to do list and not much space to spare for myself. But something that I'm really focusing on, being intentional about at the moment is romanticizing my time alone. I used to be someone who was almost fearful of solitude and fearful of time spent by myself because I think I had this very human aversion to loneliness and I started to confuse solitude with loneliness. So in order to feel less afraid of that loneliness, I would fill my days with people with events, with commitments. There would be something to do in the morning, someone to see at lunch, someone to see in the evening, a meeting to do late at night. Whatever it is, I didn't really want to be alone with my thoughts. The way that I've been doing this has been really trying to to romanticize and be almost sentimental about my alone time, make it a non negotiable for me. So that means taking my Sunday afternoons off to be entirely my own. No lunches, no dinners, no seeing friends and not having anything planned and just sitting in that space and allowing myself to be quiet and calm and slow and intentional. I've also been really thinking about some upcoming solo travel opportunities. I think that solo traveling is one of the most uplifting, difficult, but also really transformative experiences. And for a long time, you know, it went hand in hand with that natural aversion to loneliness I was describing, I would always be waiting until someone was ready to come on these trips with me. But in this new year in 2025, I really want to just do it myself and just go and enjoy whatever experience it is that I want to have out of my travels. And through that, I think that romanticization of my alone time and treating my solitude is quite sacred. I have been finding a lot of inner peace, and I've been finding a lot of space to really reflect on my future and what I want from my life. And it's been quite comforting to actually have that time to myself. And it also links very perfectly to. To this week's mantra, which is a huge reason why I chose it. I Cultivate peace within. To dive into the meaning behind these words, I think it's helpful to first consider what peace really is. I know that I've already offered a loose description in what I was describing before, but I really want to emphasize that peace isn't just the absence of chaos or. Or conflict. It's a grounded, intentional state of being that comes uniquely and specifically from within. Cultivating peace within ourselves means that despite what may be happening around us, we actively choose to stay centered, calm, and resilient. And that is very, very hard at times. I'm not going to sugarcoat it because I really think that we'll all learn soon enough, or you already know that. Discovering, finding, searching for inner peace can actually be quite a violent emotional experience because we are actively choosing to not respond in a way that our instinct calls us to. With anger, with bitterness, with resentment, by running away. And that involves fighting against very loud emotions and choosing to look at the things that deeply hurt us or scare us and respond differently. That's a hard thing to do. Think about this as it applies to a conflict in your life. Fighting with friends, fighting with family, fighting with a partner. That's a huge burden on our ability to find peace. And it's also one that is very, very common, because the people that we love the most, that's often where the most friction comes up as well. So in those moments where you're experiencing conflict, tension that feels like it's draining your ability to find peace, you have two options. You can either fight and you can push back, and you can create more rage and more anger, and you can respond to every little thing and bring all of these heightened emotions to the table, or you can sit back in this inner pool of peace, the one that you will hopefully begin to cultivate from this episode. And when you Sit back in your inner peace and you recognize that nothing can really impact you unless you let it, and that you can control how you respond. I think this really changes our attitude towards so many things. Not just conflict, but issues at work, busyness in our schedule, people not behaving, responding, acting the way that we want them to, even small everyday stresses. This mantra is really a reminder that peace is something that we create. It's not something that we wait for or that we hope to stumble upon. It is an active choice. But when we choose peace, we experience a new level of awareness where we know that we can trust ourselves. We know that everything will be okay. We know that sometimes our reactions are part of the problem, but we can control them. We know what it means to accept what we can't control, namely, what other people choose to do, what other people choose to say, believe, how they choose to behave, what the world throws our way, what fate has in store for us. We understand that those are things that we cannot control. But we are like a surfer. We ride the wave of our emotions, we ride the wave of our experiences and our discomfort and our stress. And I want us to eventually notice how that choice, that choice to ride the wave rather than to fall into the surf, how that changes things for you emotionally, mentally, even physically. So how do we start cultivating peace in our daily lives? Well, it begins with small, consistent practices. Mindfulness. It gets such a positive reputation for a good reason. It is one of the most powerful tools for finding peace. And it doesn't actually require a huge amount of time or effort or even a special place to go to in order to practice it. Simply paying attention to the present moment, our breath, our surroundings, even our thoughts, those things that are always around us or within us, they can be a really important anchor. When we're mindful, we create space between ourselves and our reactions, which allows us to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively. I also like to use this mindful space where I am anchored in my thoughts, by my breath, by my surroundings, to reflect on past experiences and past experiences where peace was definitely not the defining feeling or the defining emotion. I think of it like I'm sitting in a chair in a large cinema all alone, and I'm watching a moment play out in front of me whilst I'm in this mindful state. And whilst I watch it play out, I get to see clearly how I wish I'd acted, what I could have done that would have been better. And I invite myself to think about how I could do that in the Future. Let me use like a really benign example here of missing your train and being late for a meeting, right? Who isn't stressed by that? In that moment, you can sit in your cinema and you can see two plots play out. The one where you get really flustered and you panic and you get angry at yourself for not leaving earlier. You get angry at the person on the street who was walking slow. You get angry at your day. Anger, anger, anger. All of that is flooding your body with cortisol and stress hormones and it's creating tension and arousal. That's option one. Option two is a scene where you just pause for a second, you breathe in deep, you relax your shoulders and you say, I can't control this now. I'm just gonna have to wait for the next train. Maybe you shoot a message to your boss or your co worker saying, I'm going to be late. And you focus on watering that inner garden and taking this time that you were already going to be delayed. Sitting in the uncomfortable emotion until it becomes appeal. Peaceful emotion. In both options, you're going to get to the same destination at the same time anyway. You're already late. The consequences have already been set. But in the second option, you don't spoil your mood for the rest of the day. You enter your meeting without being flustered. You're able to think clearly. So in that mindfulness cinema, as those scenes play out, you get to pick one and you get to pick the one that brings you the most peaceful. Another way to really cultivate peace is by setting boundaries. This could mean carving out quiet time for ourselves. As I was speaking about at the beginning, it has been such a helpful practice for me, or just respectfully communicating our limits to others. When we set boundaries, we are protecting our energy and we're creating the conditions that make inner peace possible. Boundaries also come from a place of love. I think a lot of people feel almost scared of setting boundaries because they believe that they are going to be offensive, they're going to upset other people, they're going to make them difficult to work with or to be with. Actually, boundaries provide people with a manual and a blueprint for how we can operate best with each other. And it is an act of love and respect to say, I want this work relationship to work out. I want our relationship to work out. And in order for that to happen, I need you to treat me a certain way. Of course, this isn't always going to be easy. I think one of the most difficult aspects of cultivating peace is that it often challenges our Instincts for chaos and our instincts to fight and to flee and to feel angry. And also our habits, our ingrained habits that we've been taught since we were children, or that we have been taught in work or in school. Our natural response to stress is typically reactive. When we feel threatened, we want to fight, we want to flee, we want to fix the situation. That's natural, that's normal. It's our body encountering a stressor and wanting to remove it instantly. Choosing peace in that moment can feel counterintuitive, especially if we're used to solving problems immediately or reacting quickly to issues. But over time, you start to realize that although it might take a little bit longer, the outcome mentally is often a lot more rewarding. When someone criticizes us, for instance, our instinct might be to defend ourselves, to get angry, or to counterattack. However, cultivating peace within ourselves means that we are actually providing ourselves with the opportunity to step back, to assess, to decide how our best self would respond in a way that aligns with our values. This doesn't mean ignoring conflict, but rather choosing how we handle it in a way that actually, actually maintains our sense of calm, our sense of self respect. There are a lot of situations in everyday life that call us to cultivate peace within. Think about that experience of being stuck in traffic, very similar to the train example. It's a situation where we have very little control. It's easy to get frustrated, it's easy to get stressed or angry. However, if we choose to approach it with peace, we can shift our perspective. We can use the time to listen to our favorite podcast, take that as a hint if you will, or to practice breathing exercises. Additionally, in situations where we face criticism or challenges at work, instead of reacting defensively or letting the stress build and actually end up almost creating toxicity in the relationship, we can pause, we can breathe, we can maybe even take a moment to ourselves and respond in a way that keeps us calm and grounded. And really, what I think inner peace comes down to is a choice. Do I want to be angry and bitter and resentful and frustrated? Or do I want to be someone who flows with the challenges? Do I want to be someone who observes before reacting? It's still a choice. You get to make it whichever one you think is best. I'm obviously very much leaning towards the former. Another common struggle with cultivating peace is the fear of appearing weak or passive. Sometimes people equate staying calm with avoiding issues or letting things slide. Peace is anything but passive. It requires a lot more strength than being reactive, and it requires a lot of self awareness to choose calmness over chaos. True peace allows us to approach issues from a place of deep inner strength when we're not just reacting out of fear or anger or the first thing that comes up. Rather, we are waiting and pausing and letting those initial reactions and instincts flow through us. We're still being impacted by them, but we are letting them flow through us before we choose a decision from a place of clarity and purpose. So cultivating peace doesn't mean we ignore issues or that we allow others to take advantage of us. It means we address these issues with a centered approach that respects both our well being and the well being of others. Cultivating peace can be especially challenging when it comes to relationships, but it's also where this practice, I believe at least can make the most difference. When conflicts arise with friends, family, partners, co workers, it's easy to get swept up in emotion, especially if the situation feels personal or hurtful, which it's bound to Choosing to cultivate peace means taking a step back, listening, actively responding with empathy rather than defensiveness. This approach often leads to healthier, more meaningful conversations and can help de escalate potential conflicts. And in turn, we also model a way of interacting that inspires others to approach us with that same level of calm and respect. I cultivate peace within that mantra is about recognizing that whilst we may not have control over every situation, we do have control over how we approach it. It's a commitment to making a choice that reflects our desire for harmony, for balance, for resilience, and for peace. So when we make this mantra part of our daily lives, we're not only enhancing our own sense of well being, we're also contributing to a calmer, more compassionate world and peace. In this sense, I really believe it becomes contagious. The more we embod it, the more it influences those around us as well. All right, now that we have broken down what this means, we have a lot more to get into coming up. Let's get personal. I'm going to get real about how this mantra has played out in my life. Continues to play out in my life. From setting boundaries that protect my peace to mindful routine. So stay tuned after this brief pause.

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Jemma Speg (22:07)

Welcome back. It's time to get personal with you guys and share some of my own insights and reflections about this week's mantra. For me, as I've said before, the opposite of peace is struggle. It's like fighting against a wall you can't move and growing more and more tired without achieving anything. It's like a child throwing a huge tantrum whilst in their pram and they're pushing the buckle and they're screaming and they're crying and they're turning red and they're not getting anywhere with that anger. But that fight is really wired into us. That's why it can be so difficult to choose peace, because you have to relax into the situation. When you do, though, when you make it a habit, it's life changing. And where I see myself really still consciously needing to make this choice is when it comes to family, our families, we love them, we struggle with them, they're not going anywhere. And because of that they can be a huge source of disruption. And, you know, the holidays have just passed. I was finding myself, despite my best intentions, getting really carried away in petty family arguments, getting carried away in a lack of planning or too much planning. You know, how it always is when you visit your family and. And it's so different to how your normal routine is and how you would normally do things. Everything just feels extra stressful. And it's in that environment where I do feel like peace is the last thing that you are going to have access to. But this year I was very, very intentional of responding rather than reacting to, you know, little arguments, little quips with my sisters, with my aunts, with my uncles, with my parents, and just taking a step back, cultivating inner peace within and coming back to the situation with a better mindset. And I think it really did make that whole period go a lot smoother. The other big obstacle to inner peace, for me at least, is a need for control. So when things become unplanned, when they feel chaotic, when there are multiple people and preferences to be thinking of, that's when I get really carried away by the disruption and the stresses and the emotions. And here's the thing, sometimes you do need this stress to motivate you, and you need to be a little bit worried to get yourself into gear when that's no longer useful, though, I do find myself getting quite jittery, getting quite distracted, getting pulled between decisions, places, thoughts. And what I find really helpful, actually, is to ground myself in what I call my inner secret sanctuary. All of us have this sanctuary. It is this inner world that we all possess, that no one else can touch, no one else can access. No one else knows what it looks like. A lot of people like to imagine a garden. Other people like to imagine a cozy living room with all of their favorite art surrounding them. Some people like to imagine a forest or a spa, whatever it is. When you feel yourself being pulled this way and the next, I want you to think about the most minute details of this inner space, of this inner life that you are building. What sensations can you feel in your sacred sanctuary? What are the sounds that are surrounding you? What art is on the wall? What plants can you see? Really hone in on these details and make the space feel bigger and brighter and larger. It's a great mental exercise for actually giving yourself distance between what you're experiencing and how you want to react. And don't just take it from me. I want to share this week's quote that echoes our mantra in hopes that it speaks to you as well. In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you. Those are the words of Deepak Chopra. I really want to focus it on that one word, stillness, because it's a word I haven't actually said in this whole time. And I'm kicking myself at to why I haven't. Because what better to represent peace than stillness, than a sense of relaxing into the problem and just being still within it, being at peace within it? Or even when we think about that inner sanctuary or that secret sanctuary, that secret garden, we're not imagining movement and chaos everywhere. Our inner sanctuary is not a busy road or a busy car park or a busy shopping center. It's often a place that is incredibly still and that is just for us, and we are there alone. So embodying stillness might be another way to cultivate inner peace. Now I'd like to take a few moments to pause and really sit with this mantra. In just a moment, you'll hear a custom music track created to give you a space to absorb today's insights and consider how you might bring this mantra into your week and maybe even beyond. And if this practice isn't your style, if it doesn't resonate with you, just feel free to skip ahead 30 seconds. But as you take a moment for yourself, hold on to the phrase I cultivate peace within. Let it guide your thoughts as the music plays, offering you space to reflect and discover what peace truly looks like for you. Up next, we're going to talk about how to put these insights into real action and bring this mantra to life. We're also going to discuss our journal prompts for the week and our weekly social media challenge. Stick around for more after this quick break. Welcome back. Let's dive into how this week's mantra can take shape in your everyday life, starting with a journal practice. These three prompts are here to guide your reflections and help you connect more deeply with the idea of cultivating peace within. If you don't have your journal with you right now, just feel free to contemplate and think about your answers before you get the chance to write them down. First, think about the boundaries you might need to set to protect your peace. Are there certain situations or people that often drain your energy or that often disrupt your calm? Just consider one boundary that you could start implementing right now to create a more peaceful environment and reflect on how that shift might impact your overall well being. Next, take a look at the thoughts or beliefs that tend to disrupt your inner peace. Are there any self doubts, worries or expectations that keep you from feeling centered. Explore one belief that you'd like to shift and think about a new perspective or affirmation that you could use to replace it. How might this change help you feel more grounded? And finally, consider what inner peace truly means to you. Picture what your life would look like if you actively created peace each day. What would your routines, relationships and mindset include and think about again? One small change that you could make to start bringing this vision to life. Okay, I've given you a lot to think about, but there is more in store. Every week I'm going to give you a challenge that features our mantra. It's really taking this whole thing to another level so that you can put what we talk about into tangible, actionable steps for yourself. I also want to do some check ins so that we can hold ourselves accountable. You can reach out to me at Mantra Open Mind to let me know how the challenge is going and next week we'll do a recap on how things went. I might even share a few personal stories with your permission of course, to help encourage others to participate in the challenge in the future. And remember, this is a two way street, so I'll keep you in the loop and share how this journey is also unfolding for me as well. So let's talk about last week's challenge. It was so cool to launch the show with two episodes and just see your feedback and your comments and a lot of you got involved and reached out via DM to give us your thoughts on those previous two mantras that we talked about. First, for the episode I Embrace Growth and Change. I really loved this DM that we received from Sam. It says hi Gemma, I'm a longtime listener of the psychology of your 20s and I'm so excited about your new show. Thank you Sam. Your first episode really hit home for me. Letting go of old comforts is so hard, but that message was exactly what I needed to hear right now. I'd love to know what's your advice for letting go of something that you've held onto for years, even when you know it's time. So I think that the reason that we resist change is because the things that we realize we need to let go of are things that are very, very familiar to us. Whether it is a belief that has protected us in the past or you know, a relationship or a habit. All of those things. As much as we might have a difficult relationship with them, some part of them does provide us with a sense of comfort, a sense of safety, entertainment, something so what I really want you to do, Sam, and what I really want you to think about is lean into the thing that you are holding onto. Really think about every way that it's impacting your life. Really experience it. Whether it's a bad habit, a relationship, a belief, whatever it is. You have this thing that you want to let go of before you let go of it, spend as much time with it as you can. And in those moments, I think that we really reaffirm why it is a thing that we are considering releasing. Often we end up leaving something behind or we let go of something that we've been holding onto for years. But we find ourselves in this habit of coming back to it again and again and again because we don't realize how bad it was. We don't fully appreciate why it was that we needed to release it. So think about it as like a farewell wig or, or this idea of having one last time with whatever this thing in your life is. Really relish in that experience. Really feel what that felt like. And then I think you're more prepared to release this thing, release this belief, and know that it's time. This is another message that we got from the first episode. It says, my partner is going through a big period of growth and change right now and I want to support them as much as I can. What's your advice for being a good partner during this time? How can I help without overstepping or making them feel pressured? Thank you so much for your thoughts. And that was from ua. So this is a really, really difficult dilemma that I think we find ourselves in quite a bit. At least I found myself in this. We love our partner, we want what's best for them. So it's very hard to relinquish control and to not want to step in and help them with every single little thing. But we have to remember that they are an adult. They know what's best for them. This big period of growth and change that's really important for their journey. So if we were to step in and provide all of this advice and all of this hands on help and really get too involved, we have to think about what we might be holding them back from, which is this own transition and transformation that they need to experience on their own. So I think that that is a good reminder to begin with and then giving it back to them instead of assuming that we know what they need to help them through this big period. Invite them to ask us, invite them to give us feedback, invite them into a space where they Feel like they can say, hey, this thing is really, really hard. Could you help out with some of these chores? Could you help out with finding this information? So it's really about leaning back as much as we want to lean in and also just asking them for updates, asking them how they're going, helping with the emotional side of things rather than physically wanting to, as I said, put our hands in it and get dirty and control the situation for them. I know it's very, very difficult, but I think if you think you're overstepping, you probably are. So take a step back and. And the golden rule is just to say, what can I help you with now? Just quickly looking at a message from episode two. I'm a powerful creator of my own reality. We got this one from Chloe, which I really, really liked. It says, this episode hit me hard. I have been struggling with self doubt lately, but your reminder about owning my choices gave me so much hope. How do you stay focused on your goals when fear creeps in? I have this deep belief that when you're experiencing fear, it actually means that you're on the right path. Nobody fears the things that they're comfortable with, right? Nobody fears the status quo. What we fear is change is something different and is something that is naturally scary because we've never been there before. So I would actually really say to you, Chloe, that when you're experiencing fear, take it as a sign that you are going in the right direction and put your head down, down and just try and push through it. What are some actionable things that you can do right now that have nothing to do with your fear? So if you're thinking about a big goal, is that just reinforcing your everyday habits that bring you even closer to achieving this goal? Let me use, I don't know, training for a marathon as an example. There is a lot of fear there. I've never run a marathon, but I'm assuming a lot of fear around. Am I going to finish? Am I going to get a good time? Hopefully I don't get injured. That fear is natural because you're going somewhere you've never gone before. You have a lot of questions in those moments. What I say is just do what you know you need to do. Go out on your runs, put your head down. Just focus on doing, not the bare minimum, but the essentials that will get you closer to achieving your goal rather than trying to beat fear by not doing anything at all. Or beat fear by overextending yourself. I really, really love hearing from you all it's my highlight of doing these episodes now is getting to answer some of your questions and answer your dilemmas and bring them back to these mantras. They are such powerful reminders and I think they naturally bring up a lot of questions because where else in our week do we really get this time to reflect and just be alone with our thoughts? It's so wild that when you give yourself permission to do that or you just give yourself space, how much truly does come up from the subconscious. Okay, now let's get into this week's challenge. This week I want you to capture a peaceful moment in your day. Something that has brought you a sense of calm and that has been grounding. It could be as simple as a cosy morning ritual, making your coffee and your favorite mug. A quiet place where you like to recharge. A moment of mindful breathing, a walk that you've gone on. You can snap a photo, write a few words, or even take a quick video of this peaceful moment. Share it on social social media with a caption about why it brings you peace and how it connects to the mantra I cultivate peace within. Don't forget to tag me mantra openmind so that we can see and celebrate these small moments of peace together. Here are my final thoughts about this week's mantra I cultivate peace within. This is something that, honestly, I could do better. Better at. I've given a lot of advice today. Sometimes the best advice is the advice you need to take. There is so much in our everyday lives that we don't have control over, and sometimes my natural tendency is to struggle against it. But every time I do, I learn why that is not the thing that I want to be doing, why that's not what my highest, best self would call me to do. So my final thought is to to recognize the moments where you can just take a step back and really visualize the choice that you're making. Are you going to choose stress, frustration, unnecessary anger? Or are you going to choose, albeit the harder choice, but the better choice of calm, of wisdom, of clarity, and of responding rather than reacting. So friends, as you move throughout your week, remember that peace isn't something to find or to wait for. It is something that you actively create. With each breath, with each moment of mindfulness, with each boundary set, you are building a foundation of peace that will sustain you through life's ups and downs. It is definitely a powerful, ongoing journey and one that I really want to say is entirely within your reach. Thank you for joining Mantra an exclusive Open Mind, original powered by Pave Studios At Open Mind, we value your support, so share your thoughts on social media and remember to rate, review and follow Mantra to help others discover the show. For ad, free listening and early access to Mantra with me, Gemma Speg. We invite you to subscribe to Open Mind plus on Apple Apple Podcasts. I'll share another insightful and introspective Mantra with you next Monday. Until then, keep showing up for yourself and your journey. I'm Gemma Spag. See you next week. Mantra is hosted by me, Gemma Spag and is an Open Mind original. Powered by Pave Studios. This episode was brought to life by the Mantra team Max Cutler, Kristin Acevedo, Ron Shapiro, Stacy Warrenker, Sarah Carroll and Paul Liebeskind. Thank you for listening.

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