I Give Myself Permission to Heal at My Own Pace

Summary

Podcast Summary: "I Give Myself Permission to Heal at My Own Pace" Mantra with Jemma Sbeg | Hosted by OpenMind

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Episode Overview

In the episode titled "I Give Myself Permission to Heal at My Own Pace," host Jemma Sbeg delves deep into the personal and universal journey of healing. This episode emphasizes the importance of allowing oneself to heal without adhering to societal timelines or pressures. Through personal anecdotes, reflective insights, and practical challenges, Jemma guides listeners to embrace their unique healing processes with compassion and patience.

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Introduction

Jemma Sbeg opens the episode by introducing the mantra of the week: “I give myself permission to heal at my own pace” ([00:19]). She sets the stage for a discussion on the non-linear nature of healing, emphasizing that it's a personal journey devoid of fixed outcomes or deadlines.

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Personal Story: Facing Challenges

Jemma shares a personal low point where she discovered mold in her home, symbolizing unexpected and unwanted disruptions in life ([03:09]). This revelation serves as a metaphor for the unforeseen challenges that can impede one's healing process. She candidly discusses her struggles with addressing the mold issue and the emotional toll it took on her, highlighting the real-life application of the episode's mantra.

Notable Quote:

“Healing isn't linear. This mantra reminds us that it's really okay to take the time we need to feel whole again.” ([00:19])

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Main Discussion: Understanding Healing at Your Own Pace

Jemma explores the essence of healing, articulating that it is a process rather than a destination. She emphasizes that healing involves introspection, adapting to changes, coping with emotions, and developing new strategies to manage life's challenges.

Key Points:

• Non-Linear Progress: Healing comprises ups and downs, akin to feeling terrible one day and exceptionally well the next ([05:20]).
• Self-Compassion and Patience: Essential components that facilitate a healthier healing journey ([08:00]).
• Societal Pressures: The unrealistic timelines imposed by society can hinder personal healing processes ([09:51]).

Notable Quotes:

“There is no rulebook for your emotions. There is no rulebook for how you deal with hard periods in your life.” ([18:04])

“If you're struggling with healing in your own time, it's okay to heal out loud.” ([19:57])

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Deep Thought of the Day

Jemma introduces a thought-provoking quote:

“In a world that often glorifies quick fixes and instant results, it's important to remember that true healing takes time.”

She relates this to the therapeutic process, explaining that initial discomfort in therapy signifies progress as suppressed emotions surface ([22:22]). She encourages listeners to view healing and therapy as long-term commitments that yield gradual, meaningful growth.

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Weekly Challenge and Journal Prompts

To reinforce the episode's themes, Jemma presents journal prompts aimed at fostering self-reflection and personal growth:

1. What does healing at your own pace mean to you, and how does it differ from the expectations others may place on you? ([27:22])
2. How do you respond to setbacks in your healing journey? What would it look like to approach them with more radical self-compassion? ([27:36])
3. What is one area of your life where you feel like you're still healing? What would it look like to fully honor your timeline? ([27:56])

Additionally, she introduces a weekly challenge encouraging listeners to "say no to comparison." The challenge involves pausing whenever one finds themselves comparing their healing journey to others and reframing those thoughts to honor their unique path ([32:09]).

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Listener Engagement and Community Building

Jemma emphasizes the importance of community support in the healing process. She shares personal experiences of opening up to friends and the profound impact of having understanding and empathetic individuals in one's life ([16:39]). Listeners are encouraged to participate in challenges, share their progress on social media, and engage with the OpenMind community for mutual support and accountability.

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Conclusion

Wrapping up the episode, Jemma reiterates the core message: healing is a personal journey that should be honored without external pressures or timelines ([34:15]). She offers reassurance to listeners, reminding them to be patient with themselves, celebrate small victories, and prioritize their emotional well-being above societal expectations.

Final Notable Quote:

“Healing takes time. Anyone who is asking you to heal on their timeline is not someone who deserves to see the healed version of you.” ([34:19])

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Key Takeaways

• Embrace the Non-Linear Nature of Healing: Understand that healing involves highs and lows and cannot be rushed.
• Practice Self-Compassion: Be patient and kind to yourself throughout your healing journey.
• Reject Societal Timelines: Honor your own pace instead of conforming to external expectations.
• Seek Support: Engage with a community or trusted individuals who understand and support your healing process.
• Reflect Through Journaling: Use journaling prompts to gain clarity and track your progress.

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This episode of Mantra with Jemma Sbeg serves as a profound reminder to prioritize personal healing, offering both emotional insights and practical tools to navigate the complexities of healing at one's own pace.

Transcript

[Unknown]

Foreign.

This is Open Mind.

[Jemma Sp]

Welcome back to a brand new week. Here is your mantra I give myself.

[Unknown]

Permission to heal at my own pace.

[Jemma Sp]

I'm your host, Jemma Sp, and I'm here to guide you toward a more.

[Unknown]

Centered and fulfilling life.

[Jemma Sp]

Each week I share personal stories and insights that are focused on a specific mantra, Mantra plus journal prompts, and a.

[Unknown]

Weekly challenge for all of us to.

[Jemma Sp]

Help put it into action. Think of Mantra as your mental reset button, a way to stay centered as you juggle work, school, family and whatever else life throws at you. Each mantra is a simple, powerful phrase you can repeat to refocus your thoughts and bring a bit of calm into your day. It is a small tool with a big impact, clearing your mind, lifting your mood, and rooting you in the present.

[Unknown]

If you've listened to my other show.

[Jemma Sp]

The psychology of your 20s, you know.

[Unknown]

I'm all about those little nuggets of.

[Jemma Sp]

Insight that make a big impact. So whether you're looking for some extra.

[Unknown]

Inspiration or you're trying to ground yourself amidst the chaos, you have come to the right place. At OpenMind.

[Jemma Sp]

We value your support. Share your thoughts on social media and.

[Unknown]

Remember to rate, review and follow Mantra.

[Jemma Sp]

To help others discover the show. For more exclusive content, monthly bonus episodes.

[Unknown]

Early access and ad free listening, join.

[Jemma Sp]

Our Open Mind plus community on Apple Podcasts. This week, I get to catch you up on what's been going on in my life, and then we'll dive into today's mantra.

[Unknown]

I give myself permission to heal at my own pace. We've got to remember, healing isn't linear. And this mantra reminds us that it's really okay to take the time we.

[Jemma Sp]

Need to feel whole again.

[Unknown]

Stick around. We'll be right back after this short pause.

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[Jemma Sp]

Welcome back. We are going to get into this week's mantra in just a second. But before we do, it's time for my highest lows. And who knows, hate to say it, I've got a low for you. All this week, I've got a low. I have found mold in my house. Yeah, that's correct.

[Unknown]

Mold in my house. Behind the paint, behind the walls. It seems the last person who lived.

[Jemma Sp]

Here really liked to go heavy on.

[Unknown]

With the paint over things that should probably be removed.

[Jemma Sp]

So I had this incident the other day where I was in the bathroom, and we have these weird, almost like stone tiles, I want to say. And I was like, aha.

[Unknown]

One of them. I was cleaning them, and I was.

[Jemma Sp]

Like, one of these is falling off.

[Unknown]

Like, what the heck?

[Jemma Sp]

And I kind of touched it, kind of pulled at it. It came off.

[Unknown]

And behind was all of this mold. Not only did a part of my.

[Jemma Sp]

House literally fall away, but I was like, oh, my God. And then we peeled some of the.

[Unknown]

Paint off as well.

[Jemma Sp]

Just mold everywhere. So it seems like it's only really contained to the bathroom and a little bit of this little sun room we have at the back. But if anyone has any tips, please let me know. I bleached the. The whole area. I, like, just put vinegar on it. Tried everything. But if you have ever been to Sydney, you know that when it gets wet, everything just gets mildew and everything just gets really sweaty and sticky. So all, like, the mold experts. The mold experts, the people who hold society together, are all booked and busy. So we have to wait for, like, another week and a half before anyone can come in and do it. So if you have any home remedies. Should I be wearing a face mask? Um, I'm not too sure. But also, just send your thoughts and prayers, because my house has been infested with mold, and I have no idea what to do about it. So that is my low for the week. Okay, let's get into it.

[Unknown]

It's time for this week's mantra.

[Jemma Sp]

I give myself permission to heal at my own pace. So let's start off with talking about this.

[Unknown]

What does healing at our own pace really look like, and why is it so important?

[Jemma Sp]

I think what healing at our own.

[Unknown]

Pace really encompasses knowing that healing is.

[Jemma Sp]

Not a specific outcome, and it's not an outcome you need to be racing towards. It's not A finish line. It's not a destination, although it may feel that way sometimes. It's a process.

[Unknown]

It's a journey of exploring why something.

[Jemma Sp]

Has touched you so much, how it's.

[Unknown]

Affected you, figuring out how that's changed you, how you can adapt, how you.

[Jemma Sp]

Can cope, finding new strategies. And it's also this very strange and.

[Unknown]

Sometimes cruel journey of feeling absolutely terrible.

[Jemma Sp]

One day and then the next day feeling better than you ever have before. That's why I like to say if.

[Unknown]

We are going to measure healing by a specific outcome, that should take a.

[Jemma Sp]

Specific amount of time.

[Unknown]

There is no way of knowing when.

[Jemma Sp]

We actually get there, and there's no way of measuring our pace as we're on that journey. Some people say that healing is never over. Whether you're healing from a past relationship.

[Unknown]

Past trauma, past abuse, grief, any of.

[Jemma Sp]

Those things, it's intertwined with what it.

[Unknown]

Means to be human.

[Jemma Sp]

That's why it's never over. And sometimes that's really scary. I remember hearing this about grief. You know, that grief is something that never gets easier. But the more time you spend with something, the more your kind of relationship to it changes, the more I like to explain it as a piece of glass that gets smoothed over by the ocean. You know, the edges become less sharp. The glass is still in your hand.

[Unknown]

It's still there.

[Jemma Sp]

You still feel the grief.

[Unknown]

You still feel the pain, the betrayal.

[Jemma Sp]

The upset, the fear. But slowly you start to find a way to maybe put it into your pocket every now and again to continue that metaphor. Basically, it finds a way to integrate with your life. Reason that I like to say, and I like to think that healing is never over, so no one can ever rush you to be completely healed is also because I think that way of.

[Unknown]

Seeing things allows us to give ourself permission to just start.

[Jemma Sp]

To just start unwrapping what we're feeling. If you feel like the moment you start going to therapy, you start putting in behaviors, you start really looking in the face of whatever it is, you've been through that now there is a ticking clock that says you have have five years to deal with this.

[Unknown]

You have six months to deal with this.

[Jemma Sp]

You are never going to give yourself permission to heal. You are never going to say, okay, I'm ready. Because the moment you say you're ready.

[Unknown]

You feel like you're at a start.

[Jemma Sp]

Line and the gun has gone off. When we instead think about healing as.

[Unknown]

Something that takes time and that can.

[Jemma Sp]

Evolve into becoming actually quite a beautiful part of who we are, it Feels like a much easier step to take. I think self compassion and patience play a really big role in this as well. I think the times that I felt most terrible about dealing with heartache, dealing with disappointment, dealing with things from my childhood have been when I have led.

[Unknown]

Myself to believe that it was my.

[Jemma Sp]

Fault or I have led myself to believe that if I was just stronger and if I just knew more and if I just had more spirit or gusto to me, like I would be fine.

[Unknown]

Look at that person online. Look at that person.

[Jemma Sp]

I know she went through something like this. He went through something like this and he is okay. I find it easier to deal with when we compare kind of emotional hurt and emotional healing with physical healing.

[Unknown]

Someone can have a broken arm and.

[Jemma Sp]

Someone can have a broken leg, they're gonna heal differently.

[Unknown]

It doesn't mean that the pain they.

[Jemma Sp]

Experience, both of those things didn't hurt.

[Unknown]

Just as much, if that makes sense.

[Jemma Sp]

There's no point in comparing your pain and therefore there's no point in comparing your healing.

[Unknown]

The unique experience of what has happened.

[Jemma Sp]

To you is something that someone else cannot know. And it's also something that you cannot lead yourself to believe anyone else would be more capable of moving through and overcoming or just managing on a day to day.

[Unknown]

I also feel like the reason we.

[Jemma Sp]

Feel such pressure to be over something, to feel better, you know, looking at our watch like, you know, it's been months, it's been years. How come this is still sitting over me?

[Unknown]

How come this is still hurting me?

[Jemma Sp]

Is because society, and it's an inconvenient truth. Society is not very good at seeing.

[Unknown]

Emotion and seeing hurt laid bare.

[Jemma Sp]

We are told not to be an inconvenience. We are told to make others happy, that we should kind of put up a front because, you know, it's uncomfortable for other people who don't understand what we've been through. That's kind of the other side of this coin. Like only we can understand what we've experienced. And it also means that people sometimes.

[Unknown]

Feel like we should be over it.

[Jemma Sp]

Sooner than we need to be over it. Everyone deals with things in their own time. But that doesn't feel acceptable when society is saying, oh, someone that you know passed away, you get six months, you've broken a bone, you get three months, oh, you know, you have childhood trauma, maybe two years. It just feels like there is this appropriate timeline for dealing with what we're going through, when in fact that completely ignores so much of the complexity to do with it. I think giving yourself the grace to heal is one of the most powerful things you can offer yourself, and also kind of giving yourself grace to maybe make people uncomfortable. That's all right. They can deal with their discomfort. You're dealing with so much more. They can put that away. They can move through their life. If that's the worst thing that's going to happen to them, seeing your grief or seeing your pain or seeing your heartache or whatever it is, they've got a pretty good deal. So give yourself permission to heal, but give yourself permission to heal out loud. If that's appropriate to say to people in your life. I can't do this right now to say to family members, I'm sorry, that's not a appropriate to say to someone. This is something I'm trying to get over. This is something I'm trying to get better with. Please stay with me as I try. All right, coming up, let's get personal. I'll open up to you about how.

[Unknown]

This mantra has really shown up in my own life and how I'm learning to truly give myself the grace to.

[Jemma Sp]

Heal, the grace to maybe get better. Stay tuned after this brief pause.

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[Jemma Sp]

Now that we've looked at the meaning.

[Unknown]

Behind today's mantra and how I tend.

[Jemma Sp]

To approach it, it's time to get personal with you all.

[Unknown]

Share some of my own insights and reflections about this phrase. I give myself permission to heal at own pace.

[Jemma Sp]

I am someone who is quite sensitive. I don't think that's a negative trait by any means. I think it's a positive. I feel deeply, I get attached easily, I connect with others rapidly. But it also means when relationships end or hard things happen, it can feel.

[Unknown]

Like I am the last to move.

[Jemma Sp]

On and that I'm kind of slowing down the procession. I'm holding up the healing and I feel guilty for coming out three months later or even years later and saying, I know this is inconvenient, but I'm actually still not over it. I can see this in a lot of things from the past for me, you know, it took me so much longer to get over arguments in my family and I remember people being like, wow, you really hold a grudge. It's like, it's not that I'm holding a grudge, it's that these emotions, like they still kind of have me wrapped up in them.

[Unknown]

I wish I could get over them.

[Jemma Sp]

I wish I could move on. It's just not how I'm built. You know, it took me longer to get over deaths in my family, to get over betrayals or hurts from friends, to get over breakups.

[Unknown]

You know, when my last long term.

[Jemma Sp]

Relationship ended and it ended rather poorly.

[Unknown]

I remember there being this like huge.

[Jemma Sp]

Delay in how upset I felt, probably.

[Unknown]

Like three, four months.

[Jemma Sp]

So by the time I was like fully realizing, you know, oh, you know, there were good parts about this person and they're no longer in my life Anymore. And there are parts of that which make me feel really sad. It honestly felt like my window for this unique kind of grief had closed. And bringing it up with people would have the reaction of a lot of.

[Unknown]

Them saying, you know, why are you.

[Jemma Sp]

Still talking about this? That's old news. That's really what I convinced myself people were going to say. And I specifically remember a girls trip.

[Unknown]

With my friends almost six months later.

[Jemma Sp]

And I still hadn't really, like, expressed.

[Unknown]

Any sadness about it because I didn't.

[Jemma Sp]

Want to make people uncomfortable. And I sat with one of my.

[Unknown]

Closest friends at a fish and chip.

[Jemma Sp]

Shop and sobbed to her as if it had happened yesterday. It was probably one of the first times that I cried openly about it.

[Unknown]

And I remember her saying to me.

[Jemma Sp]

Like, oh, my God, we were waiting.

[Unknown]

For this to happen.

[Jemma Sp]

Like, where has all this emotion been hiding? And it just made me cry more. She was so supportive, and I'm sure.

[Unknown]

That she would still be up to.

[Jemma Sp]

Talking it through with me even to this day, even though it was, you know, almost five years ago. She'd probably be like, oh, this is a bit strange. But having people in your life who are understanding of the fluidity and the nuances of emotion, it is completely life changing with how you in turn process and look at your own feelings. But, you know, knowing that I might get a different reaction from people, it has caused me sometimes to make my grief more private because I was embarrassed. I knew people had moved on and they wanted me to move on as well. And I knew that they weren't in the same place as I was anymore. And there was also this fear, like.

[Unknown]

Maybe they're not mentally or emotionally prepared to have the conversations that I keep wanting to have because they're not in the same mindset. I feel like I'm still in that same place.

[Jemma Sp]

So I kept those conversations I wanted to have to myself. Same goes for certain moments when I.

[Unknown]

Was a child or even a teenager that were really hurtful and harmful. I've only really had the emotional maturity to deal with them in the last.

[Jemma Sp]

Like, six or seven years. Some of those people that were involved in those moments aren't even in my life anymore. So it's kind of like, who do I talk about this with?

[Unknown]

Does it feel like drudging up the past?

[Jemma Sp]

No. There is no rule book for your emotions. There is no rulebook for how you deal with hard periods in your life. You know, that is not something that is promised. That is not something that is the same amongst everyone.

[Unknown]

I think the final Element of why this is difficult and has been difficult.

[Jemma Sp]

For me to accept in the past is also the shame of not bouncing back quicker. And what that said about me, me personally, right? Was I weak?

[Unknown]

Was I not socially or emotionally advanced?

[Jemma Sp]

You know, was this a sign of, like, some larger problem and to be completely vulnerable? I can see how this has kind.

[Unknown]

Of had implications in other areas of.

[Jemma Sp]

My life where I don't bring things up in relationships.

[Unknown]

I don't bring up issues with friends.

[Jemma Sp]

Because I don't want to be seen as dramatic or overreacting. But I am doing so much better with this now. I really want to say that to people, and I really want to make that known. If you're struggling with healing in your own time, the thing about healing in your own time is when the healing really does start to take place, it makes you so much stronger and you're so much more prepared for it. Specifically, something I really like to remind myself is it's okay to be more open with how something from the past is impacting you now, and you won't be shamed for it. In fact, there are people in your life who are hoping that you bring things up because it's a sign of love and commitment and respect that you want to heal with them. You know, my boyfriend said this to me recently. He was like, just give people the.

[Unknown]

Gift of getting to take care of.

[Jemma Sp]

You because they want to take care of you.

[Unknown]

Give them the gift of getting to know you more.

[Jemma Sp]

You know, we've been together for two, three years now, and there were things that I'd never told him about, and he was like, don't you see? Like, I love you so much.

[Unknown]

I wish I knew this sooner.

[Jemma Sp]

I wish I could see this part of you.

[Unknown]

So let them have that. Like, they want to know you.

[Jemma Sp]

You know, made me very, very emotional at the time. I think looking back now and hopefully, like, applying this into the future, if I had to give my younger self some advice on how to heal at my own pace and how to give.

[Unknown]

Myself permission to even feel those emotions.

[Jemma Sp]

In the first place, it would be. Healing comes faster when you talk about it sooner.

[Unknown]

You're also not protecting anyone by hurting yourself more.

[Jemma Sp]

And these experiences are part of what it means to be human, even when they are difficult. It is a wonderful thing sometimes to feel as deeply as you feel, and it gives you a more rich human experience. It makes you more empathetic. You feel more in touch with others, but you also feel more in touch with yourself when you look and you.

[Unknown]

Allow yourself to dissect how something has.

[Jemma Sp]

Impacted you specifically, even when it feels like that might make you a burden, that's not your shame to carry. Also, you know, if you don't give yourself permission, if you don't say, okay, I'm going to be present with my.

[Unknown]

Pain no matter how long it takes.

[Jemma Sp]

It can end up as avoidance.

[Unknown]

You will keep delaying it till later and later and later in life until it consumes you.

[Jemma Sp]

And I don't know, I feel like I've actually seen that in people before. Suppressing emotions is a much more insidious and larger societal problem with how we.

[Unknown]

Deal with pain and hurt.

[Jemma Sp]

It ends up showing up in substance abuse. It ends up showing in self sabotaging behaviors and really terrible habits. And I just sometimes think to myself, if we just had a microphone that everyone could come up to and like speak their pain and speak their hurt and be heard, how many of these problems that we have as a society would have been avoided with just more open acknowledgment that sometimes being human is actually not an easy thing and that it shouldn't be made to seem effortless. With that in mind, I want to bring us to our deep thought of the day. Honestly, sometimes. This is my favorite part of these episodes, this quote that I have. It's actually no one really knows who said it, but I think that we can all relate to it. In a world that often glorifies quick fixes and instant results, it's important to remember that true healing takes time. This makes me think of therapy. I see a lot of examples of people who will say, you know, I.

[Unknown]

Started therapy and like, it's just not working.

[Jemma Sp]

It's just not working. I don't feel any better, actually. I feel worse. And I'm like, well, that actually is the sign that it's working. It's drudging up all this stuff that you have previously suppressed. And you've got to remember there are so many examples of instant gratification in our life these days. So that something is long term and sometimes challenging as therapy doesn't feel as.

[Unknown]

Rewarding, but it actually is just because.

[Jemma Sp]

It'S not giving you the same dopamine as, you know, feeling like you hate your wardrobe and buying clothes, immediately feeling like you hate what you look like. So getting a haircut, feeling pain in your left elbow and your doctor gives you a pill. Therapy is one of those deep time commitments and energy commitments that you really.

[Unknown]

Only notice the progress in hindsight.

[Jemma Sp]

Sometimes people will be in therapy for like a year or two years and they'll say this isn't working. And then their therapist will be like.

[Unknown]

Okay, but this is who you were.

[Jemma Sp]

When you came in. This is gradual growth.

[Unknown]

This is consistent growth.

[Jemma Sp]

You are happier. It's just that small changes over time don't always make it seem so. That's the same thing with healing, even on your own. Although I would recommend therapy for everyone, I know it's really expensive and I know it's really sometimes inaccessible. So if you are implementing some of those therapeutic techniques at home or if you're just trying to find healing in your own space, please don't compare yourself to a week ago. Compare yourself to a couple years ago.

[Unknown]

See the progress for the long haul.

[Jemma Sp]

That it is.

[Unknown]

Now. I'd like us to take a few moments to pause and really sit with this mantra. In just a moment, you'll hear our.

[Jemma Sp]

Music track, created to give you some.

[Unknown]

Much needed space to absorb today's insights.

[Jemma Sp]

Feel like today's episode has been very, very dark in some ways. So hopefully you can bring this mantra into your week and apply it positive and maybe even beyond by reflecting on.

[Unknown]

What this means to you. And of course, if this isn't your.

[Jemma Sp]

Style, if this doesn't resonate with you, you can just skip ahead a minute. But as you settle in, I want you to really keep our mantra in mind. I give myself permission to heal at my own pace.

[Unknown]

What does that mean for you?

[Jemma Sp]

Let it guide your thoughts as the music plays and give yourself a moment.

[Unknown]

To really reflect and connect with all that it means.

[Jemma Sp]

Beautiful. Up next, we're going to talk about.

[Unknown]

How to put these insights into real action and bring this mantra to life. I'll share some journal prompts in our weekly challenge. Stick around for more after this short break.

You don't wake up dreaming of McDonald's fries. You wake up dreaming of McDonald's hash browns. McDonald's breakfast comes first. Ba da ba ba ba.

[Dax]

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[Jessica Porter]

Hi, I'm Jessica Porter and I'm a hypnotherapist as well as a total relaxation nerd. If you're struggling to sleep at night, I'm here to help. Sleep Magic is my new podcast of relaxing hypnosis created to help you doze on off tonight. With my episodes every Wednesday, I'm going to make suggestions that help you relax really, really deeply. And hypnosis is not what you've seen on tv. There's no swinging pocket watch or clucking like a chicken, I promise. I'm just here to help you make friends with sleep again so you can get the rest you deserve. So search Sleep Magic on your favorite podcast app and I'll see you there.

[Jemma Sp]

Welcome back.

[Unknown]

Let's talk about how to apply this week's mantra in a meaningful way in.

[Jemma Sp]

Our everyday life, starting with our journal. We do this every single week.

[Unknown]

I love to give you guys a.

[Jemma Sp]

Couple of journal prompts to really explore this deeper on your own terms. If you don't have your journal with you right now, that's totally okay.

[Unknown]

Just think about your answers in your.

[Jemma Sp]

Mind or you can come back to them later.

[Unknown]

But here is what I have for.

[Jemma Sp]

You this week to help you gain.

[Unknown]

Some clarity and reflect on this mantra.

[Jemma Sp]

First, what does healing at your own.

[Unknown]

Pace mean to you and how does it differ from the expectations others may place on you? Secondly, how do you respond to setbacks.

[Jemma Sp]

In your healing journey?

[Unknown]

What would it look like to approach.

[Jemma Sp]

Them with more radical self compassion?

[Unknown]

And by radical self compassion, I mean.

[Jemma Sp]

I'm going to choose to love myself no matter how hard this is, no matter what mistakes I make. And finally, what is one area of your life where you feel like you're still healing?

[Unknown]

What would it look like to fully honour your timeline?

[Jemma Sp]

Okay, I've given you a lot to think about, but there's more in store every week. I like to give you guys a.

[Unknown]

Challenge that features our mantra. It's really about taking this whole thing to another level so that you can put what we talk about into tangible, actionable steps for yourself. I also love doing these check ins.

[Jemma Sp]

Over on Instagram so that we hold ourselves accountable. So you can reach out to me.

[Unknown]

At Mantra openmind to let me know how the challenge is going.

[Jemma Sp]

And next week we of course do.

[Unknown]

A recap on how things went. I might even share a few personal stories with your permission of course, to help encourage others to participate in the challenge in the future.

[Jemma Sp]

And this is a two way street, so I'll make sure to let you.

[Unknown]

Know how things are going with me too.

[Jemma Sp]

So let's talk about last week's challenge. As a reminder, our mantra last week was I trust myself to make the best decision with what I know now. So the challenge I set for you.

[Unknown]

All was to just ponder a decision.

[Jemma Sp]

That you have been putting off making.

[Unknown]

Either a big decision or a small.

[Jemma Sp]

Decision, and approach it very logically.

[Unknown]

Make a pro cons list, reflect on.

[Jemma Sp]

It it and try and take some step towards actioning that decision or making some kind of choice. I want to say I actually did.

[Unknown]

Very well with this last week. I did all the admin tasks around.

[Jemma Sp]

A decision that I wanted to make and I talked about it with the most important people in my life. And I'm not going to talk about what the decision actually is, but we're definitely getting closer to, I don't know, it kind of blossoming, it kind of happening. I want to share some of the DMs that we got from listeners about last week's episode. This one from Ginger.

[Unknown]

How do you handle regret?

[Jemma Sp]

When you look back and realize you made a decision that didn't work out as planned?

[Unknown]

Does trusting yourself mean letting go of.

[Jemma Sp]

What could have been?

[Unknown]

Whoa, very existential there, Ginger.

[Jemma Sp]

Does trusting yourself mean letting go of what could have been? Yeah, I actually think it does. I think trusting yourself does kind of.

[Unknown]

Involve a bit of loss sometimes, because the opposite of trusting yourself is just letting the world kind of decide for.

[Jemma Sp]

You and therefore keeping a lot of doors open that aren't actually getting you.

[Unknown]

To a better place. But when you trust yourself, you intentionally close some of those doors.

[Jemma Sp]

You intentionally make decisions that are calculated and deliberate. So maybe it is. But in terms of that earlier part.

[Unknown]

How do you handle regret?

[Jemma Sp]

I'm going to repeat something I said in last week's episode, but I just.

[Unknown]

Think it's so powerful.

[Jemma Sp]

And that is if you look at.

[Unknown]

Your life right now and you can find even a couple of things that.

[Jemma Sp]

You care about and that you enjoy and that you love that are important.

[Unknown]

To you, there is some decision in your past that you regret that was.

[Jemma Sp]

Important to get you to where you are.

[Unknown]

You would not have those things without.

[Jemma Sp]

A couple of bad decisions because they all brought you to here. I also want to say one more thing about that, which is that how do you know that what you see as a bad decision wasn't actually the.

[Unknown]

Best decision and that any other decision.

[Jemma Sp]

You made in that moment could actually have led to a worst possible outcome?

[Unknown]

There's no way of knowing.

[Jemma Sp]

So I think surrendering and accepting and choosing to believe that this is the best that could have happened is a really great mindset shift. All right, let's look at our next question. This one's from Raphael.

[Unknown]

What do you do when you feel pressured to make a decision quickly but.

[Jemma Sp]

You'Re not sure if you've gathered enough information yet? That is a hard one. That is very, very difficult. I think if the decision is one that other people are requiring from you, please try and advocate for a bit of a delay.

[Unknown]

Try and advocate for some time, some thinking time.

[Jemma Sp]

Present it as if I'm going to.

[Unknown]

Make a better decision, for I'm going.

[Jemma Sp]

To be more committed to my decision. If you give me an extra day, if you give me an extra half an hour, if you give me an extra however much time you need, I actually think that shows a great degree of responsibility and accountability and respect for these other people. There's also something to be said for just making the decision in the moment and realizing that you can go back and change it. Most decisions, I think you can or there is some way to course correct in the future. Other than that, go with your gut.

[Unknown]

Really sink into what your future self.

[Jemma Sp]

Would be telling you to do in that moment. Your best future version of yourself.

[Unknown]

What are they saying and what are.

[Jemma Sp]

They encouraging you to do? That's always the kind of trick or.

[Unknown]

Tool that I use. And now it's time for this week's challenge. This week, I want you to say no to comparison. Each time you catch yourself comparing your.

[Jemma Sp]

Healing journey to someone else's, pause and reframe the thought. Remind yourself their path is theirs and mine is mine. We're all going to end up in the same place.

[Unknown]

All I want to do and all.

[Jemma Sp]

I want to have is a more human experience and one of more peace and one of more joy. What do I have to do to bring that about for me? At the end of the week or even at the end of each day, just write down, you know, one thing that you're proud of about your own unique process. Maybe do a little check in.

[Unknown]

How am I feeling?

[Jemma Sp]

Do I feel like I'm seeing things more clearly? Do I feel like I'm taking the pressure off? And as a reminder, reach out to.

[Unknown]

Us at Mantra Open Mind to share how this week's challenge is working for you. All right, as we wrap up this.

[Jemma Sp]

Week'S episode, I want to share a few final thoughts about this mantra.

[Unknown]

I give myself permission to heal at my own pace.

[Jemma Sp]

We've talked about how healing looks very different for everyone, and I know this has been kind of a heavy episode. So please take just listening to this episode as your healing exercise for today. I know I gave you a weekly challenge. I know I gave you some journal exercises. A lot to think about. It's all right if you are coming out of this feeling a little bit mentally exhausted. I'm sure there's been a lot of reflection, a lot of things coming up for you. To be honest, there's been a lot coming up for me through this episode as well. So take the rest you need. Take a pause, take a break.

[Unknown]

But please remember and keep this at.

[Jemma Sp]

The center of anything you do to make yourself feel more at peace, feel happier, feel more emotionally stable if it works for you and if it makes you feel more aligned with yourself. No one else needs an explanation.

[Unknown]

But also, healing takes time.

[Jemma Sp]

And anyone who is asking you to heal on their timeline is not someone.

[Unknown]

Who I think deserves to see the.

[Jemma Sp]

Healed version of you. It's not a race. It's a deeply personal journey and you have the right to move at your own pace.

[Unknown]

So please be patient, honor the small steps and trust that with time, you.

[Jemma Sp]

Are going to find your way. Mantra is hosted by me, Gemma Spegg.

[Unknown]

And is an open mind original Powered.

[Jemma Sp]

By Pave Studios, this episode was brought.

[Unknown]

To life by the Mantra team.

[Jemma Sp]

Max Cutler, Kristen Acevedo, Ron Shapiro, Stacy Warrenker, Sarah Carroll and Paul Lieberskind. Thank you for listening.