Podcast Summary: I Honor My Emotions as They Guide Me Through Grief
Podcast Information:
- Title: Mantra with Jemma Sbeg
- Host: Gemma Spag
- Episode Title: I Honor My Emotions as They Guide Me Through Grief
- Release Date: April 21, 2025
Introduction to the Mantra
In the opening segment of this heartfelt episode, Gemma Spag introduces the week's mantra: "I honor my emotions as they guide me through grief." She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and embracing grief rather than resisting it, setting the tone for a deep and introspective discussion on navigating emotional turmoil.
"Grief is never linear. It's something we will all experience, yet it is rarely talked about openly."
— Gemma Spag [00:00]
Personal Story: Memories with Her Granddad
Gemma shares a poignant memory of her time living with her granddad, highlighting the special bond they shared. She recounts how her granddad would drive her to the beach every day, ensuring her safety and creating cherished moments together. These memories become a lens through which she views her current experiences with grief.
"He was like 76. He would drive me down to the beach and he would sit in the car and I would be there for like sometimes an hour and just watch me to make sure that nothing happened."
— Gemma Spag [03:31]
Understanding Grief: Societal Perspectives
Gemma delves into the societal handling of grief, contrasting Western practices with those of other cultures. She critiques the clinical and often insufficient response to grief in Western societies, pointing out the lack of rituals and community support that are prevalent in cultures like Mexico's Day of the Dead or Japan's ongoing maintenance of graveyards.
"Grief is too big to ever be held by just one person. It's a collaborative community emotion."
— Gemma Spag [03:42]
The Roller Coaster of Grief
Using an evocative analogy, Gemma describes grief as a tumultuous ocean journey. She compares the calm moments to peaceful days, while the stormy periods represent intense emotional waves. This metaphor illustrates the unpredictable and cyclical nature of grief, emphasizing that emotions ebb and flow rather than follow a straight path.
"Grief looks like this. Imagine you are on a boat in the middle of the ocean... and then it calms down again, and it's clear and it's beautiful."
— Gemma Spag [17:00]
Continuing Bonds Theory
Gemma introduces the Continuing Bonds Theory, which challenges the traditional five-stage model of grief. Instead of moving towards final acceptance, this theory suggests maintaining an ongoing internal relationship with the lost loved one. This approach allows individuals to integrate their grief into their lives, honoring their memories without the pressure to completely move on.
"The continuing bonds theory is that for the rest of our days, we probably will continue to nurture an internal relationship with someone."
— Gemma Spag [18:30]
Gemma's Personal Reflections on Grief
Gemma opens up about her own struggles with grief, particularly following the loss of her granddad during the COVID-19 lockdowns. She describes the delayed and complicated grieving process, highlighting the absence of traditional rituals and the resulting emotional turmoil. Through a transformative moment while watching Little Women, Gemma finds a cathartic release, allowing her emotions to surface and begin healing.
"Grief has taught me to value my family more. It's made me want to do family trips with my, you know, what I previously would have avoided."
— Gemma Spag [25:45]
Practical Application: Journal Prompts and Weekly Challenge
To help listeners apply the mantra in their lives, Gemma provides thoughtful journal prompts and a weekly challenge. The journal prompts encourage self-reflection on societal pressures around grief, unexpected moments of sorrow, and creating space for emotional waves. The challenge, titled "What I Wish I Could Say Challenge," invites listeners to express unspoken words to lost loved ones or past selves, fostering emotional release and healing.
"I want you to either speak or write down words you never got to say. Maybe to a person you lost, maybe to a past version of yourself, or even an experience that ended too soon."
— Gemma Spag [35:10]
Conclusion and Final Thoughts
In her closing remarks, Gemma reiterates the importance of honoring emotions as guides through grief. She urges listeners to create personal rituals, stay connected with their loved ones' memories, and foster a community around shared grief. By normalizing conversations about grief, Gemma believes society can better support individuals navigating loss.
"Grief is not something you need to fix. It's something that requires you to honor it and learn from it and learn to carry it with you as you move through life."
— Gemma Spag [35:50]
Key Takeaways:
- Acceptance of Grief: Embrace and honor all emotions associated with grief instead of resisting or minimizing them.
- Cultural Practices: Incorporate meaningful rituals and community support systems to navigate grief more effectively.
- Personal Expression: Utilize journaling and challenges to express unspoken emotions, facilitating healing.
- Ongoing Connection: Maintain an internal relationship with lost loved ones through memories and personal rituals.
Notable Quote:
"Grief is not a disorder, a disease, or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, spiritual, and physical necessity. The price that you pay for love."
— Earl Grohlman (Referenced by Gemma Spag) [33:55]
This episode of Mantra with Jemma Sbeg offers a compassionate and insightful exploration of grief, encouraging listeners to honor their emotions and find strength in their shared human experience. Through personal narratives and practical advice, Gemma provides a valuable guide for navigating the complexities of loss.