I Honor My Emotions as They Guide Me Through Grief

Summary

Podcast Summary: I Honor My Emotions as They Guide Me Through Grief

Podcast Information:

• Title: Mantra with Jemma Sbeg
• Host: Gemma Spag
• Episode Title: I Honor My Emotions as They Guide Me Through Grief
• Release Date: April 21, 2025

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Introduction to the Mantra

In the opening segment of this heartfelt episode, Gemma Spag introduces the week's mantra: "I honor my emotions as they guide me through grief." She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and embracing grief rather than resisting it, setting the tone for a deep and introspective discussion on navigating emotional turmoil.

"Grief is never linear. It's something we will all experience, yet it is rarely talked about openly."
— Gemma Spag [00:00]

Personal Story: Memories with Her Granddad

Gemma shares a poignant memory of her time living with her granddad, highlighting the special bond they shared. She recounts how her granddad would drive her to the beach every day, ensuring her safety and creating cherished moments together. These memories become a lens through which she views her current experiences with grief.

"He was like 76. He would drive me down to the beach and he would sit in the car and I would be there for like sometimes an hour and just watch me to make sure that nothing happened."
— Gemma Spag [03:31]

Understanding Grief: Societal Perspectives

Gemma delves into the societal handling of grief, contrasting Western practices with those of other cultures. She critiques the clinical and often insufficient response to grief in Western societies, pointing out the lack of rituals and community support that are prevalent in cultures like Mexico's Day of the Dead or Japan's ongoing maintenance of graveyards.

"Grief is too big to ever be held by just one person. It's a collaborative community emotion."
— Gemma Spag [03:42]

The Roller Coaster of Grief

Using an evocative analogy, Gemma describes grief as a tumultuous ocean journey. She compares the calm moments to peaceful days, while the stormy periods represent intense emotional waves. This metaphor illustrates the unpredictable and cyclical nature of grief, emphasizing that emotions ebb and flow rather than follow a straight path.

"Grief looks like this. Imagine you are on a boat in the middle of the ocean... and then it calms down again, and it's clear and it's beautiful."
— Gemma Spag [17:00]

Continuing Bonds Theory

Gemma introduces the Continuing Bonds Theory, which challenges the traditional five-stage model of grief. Instead of moving towards final acceptance, this theory suggests maintaining an ongoing internal relationship with the lost loved one. This approach allows individuals to integrate their grief into their lives, honoring their memories without the pressure to completely move on.

"The continuing bonds theory is that for the rest of our days, we probably will continue to nurture an internal relationship with someone."
— Gemma Spag [18:30]

Gemma's Personal Reflections on Grief

Gemma opens up about her own struggles with grief, particularly following the loss of her granddad during the COVID-19 lockdowns. She describes the delayed and complicated grieving process, highlighting the absence of traditional rituals and the resulting emotional turmoil. Through a transformative moment while watching Little Women, Gemma finds a cathartic release, allowing her emotions to surface and begin healing.

"Grief has taught me to value my family more. It's made me want to do family trips with my, you know, what I previously would have avoided."
— Gemma Spag [25:45]

Practical Application: Journal Prompts and Weekly Challenge

To help listeners apply the mantra in their lives, Gemma provides thoughtful journal prompts and a weekly challenge. The journal prompts encourage self-reflection on societal pressures around grief, unexpected moments of sorrow, and creating space for emotional waves. The challenge, titled "What I Wish I Could Say Challenge," invites listeners to express unspoken words to lost loved ones or past selves, fostering emotional release and healing.

"I want you to either speak or write down words you never got to say. Maybe to a person you lost, maybe to a past version of yourself, or even an experience that ended too soon."
— Gemma Spag [35:10]

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

In her closing remarks, Gemma reiterates the importance of honoring emotions as guides through grief. She urges listeners to create personal rituals, stay connected with their loved ones' memories, and foster a community around shared grief. By normalizing conversations about grief, Gemma believes society can better support individuals navigating loss.

"Grief is not something you need to fix. It's something that requires you to honor it and learn from it and learn to carry it with you as you move through life."
— Gemma Spag [35:50]

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Key Takeaways:

• Acceptance of Grief: Embrace and honor all emotions associated with grief instead of resisting or minimizing them.
• Cultural Practices: Incorporate meaningful rituals and community support systems to navigate grief more effectively.
• Personal Expression: Utilize journaling and challenges to express unspoken emotions, facilitating healing.
• Ongoing Connection: Maintain an internal relationship with lost loved ones through memories and personal rituals.

Notable Quote:

"Grief is not a disorder, a disease, or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, spiritual, and physical necessity. The price that you pay for love."
— Earl Grohlman (Referenced by Gemma Spag) [33:55]

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This episode of Mantra with Jemma Sbeg offers a compassionate and insightful exploration of grief, encouraging listeners to honor their emotions and find strength in their shared human experience. Through personal narratives and practical advice, Gemma provides a valuable guide for navigating the complexities of loss.

Transcript

[Gemma Spag]

Foreign this is Open Mind. Welcome to a brand new week. Here is your mantra I honor my emotions as they guide me through grief. I'm your host, Gemma Spag, and I'm here to guide you toward a more centered and fulfilling life. Each week I'll share personal stories and insights that are focused on a specific mantra, plus journal prompts and a weekly challenge for all of us to help put it into action. Think of Mantra as your mental reset button, a way to stay centered as you juggle work, school, family and whatever else life throws at you. Each mantra is a simple, powerful phrase you can repeat to refocus your thoughts and bring a little bit of calm into your day. It's a small tool with a big impact, clearing your mind, lifting your mood, and rooting you in the present. If you've listened to my other show, the psychology of your 20s, you know I'm all about those little nuggets of insight that make a big impact. So whether you're looking for some extra inspiration or you're trying to ground yourself amidst the chaos, you have come to the right place. At Open Mind, we value your support. Share your thoughts on social media and remember to rate, review and follow Mantra to help others discover the show. For more exclusive content, monthly bonus episodes, early access and ad free listening, join our Open Mind community on Apple Podcasts. This week I'll catch you up on what's been going on in my life and then we'll dive into today's mantra. I honor my emotions as they guide me through grief. I want to say this at the top of the episode. Grief is never linear. It's something we will all experience, yet it is rarely talked about openly. So I think this mantra is so important to me because it really invites us to acknowledge and look at our grief instead of resisting it. It allows us to move through it all with self compassion. So stick around. I'm excited for this episode. We'll be right back after this short pause. Hey, it's Gemma. And if you love Mantra, then you need to check out Starstruck with Ali Luber. Each Wednesday, Ali sits down with celebrity guest for raw one on one astrology readings, decoding their birth charts and revealing how the stars have shaped their biggest life moments. From career highs to relationship drama, nothing is off limits. Starstruck is an open mind original powered by Pave Studios. New episodes drop every Wednesday. Just search Starstruck wherever you listen to podcasts. I've been counted out, dismissed, passed over, told I'd never be a golfer with just one arm but the only thing that feels better than proving people wrong is out driving them. I'm 14 year old golfer Tommy Morrissey and I want to be remembered for my ability as a champion partner of the Masters. Bank of America supports everyone determined to find out what's possible in golf and in life. What would you like the power to do? Bank of America bank of America NA Member FDIC Copyright 2025 bank of America Corporation. All rights reserved. At Designer Shoe Warehouse we believe that.

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[Gemma Spag]

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[Gemma Spag]

Life for all the big and small moments that make up your whole world. DSW is there and we've got just the shoes. Find a shoe for every you from brands you love at brag worthy prices at your DSW store or dsw.com welcome back. We're going to talk about this week's mantra in just a few but before we do, it's time for my highs, lows and who knows. This is a who knows? It's a little bit different. I want to tell a story that I've been thinking about a lot as I've been thinking about this episode, considering grief and what it means to me. And it's a story about my granddad, one of the people that I've lost in my life. Recently in Queensland, we had a cyclone, Cyclone Alfred. And where I grew up was like hit pretty hard and like everyone was okay. But this tree like that we used to play in when we were kids kind of came down in the backyard. And the beach where we used to go with my family basically is all washed away. So it'll take a couple of months, weeks, however long for it to come. And I was looking at this footage of this beach being kind of washed away. It's called Crumbin Beach. And I was thinking about this time when I lived with my granddad for probably like three to four months and every single day I didn't have my driver's license. He was like 76. He would drive me down to the beach and he would sit in the car and I would be there for like sometimes an hour and just watch me to make sure that nothing happened. And then he would get me a McFlurry from McDonald's and drive me home. And it was just the most beautiful, special memory and thinking about what's been happening like up there, it just really reminded me of all those really beautiful times and how special it felt to have all the attention on me and how special it felt to know that he really, really cared about me. And it's so funny because these episodes are always so serendipitous. It's like they always know when to crop up. But before we break down this mantra, I do just want to say right now, if you're listening, I do feel very bonded to you in this moment. Even if I don't know you, I feel that we are all sharing probably a lot of the same feelings and experiences right now. And there's a lot of peace and comfort knowing that what is often dark, deep, I don't know, sometimes beautiful emotion joins us all. So I don't think anyone exits this life unscathed by grief in some form. And as much as we have the urge to run away from it, I think grief encapsulates all the beauty we possess as humans. I think it encapsulates our ability to love, how special it is to have memories, the bond we can experience with others, even our capacity to feel deep sadness. Basically, I think the extent to which we feel grief is often the extent to which we can feel any emotion. And a small part of that is quite special when you think about it. But let's get into it. It's time for this week's mantra. I honor my emotions as they guide me through grief. I want to begin by saying this, if it's not already clear, but grief does come in many forms. Our first thought often goes to the grief that, of course, we encounter with the death of a loved one. Because that kind of loss is so profound, leaves so many unanswered questions. You know, where does the love go? How do I live? How can we survive without them? What happens next? All questions we have and many, many more. It's very shocking. It's paralyzing. It defines every other experience we have, at least for a while. But I think grief is also appropriate and also needs to be acknowledged in the face of any loss. Loss of a relationship, a breakup, some might even say loss of a pet. Grief over a time in our lives that we no long. It's this intense love mixed with pain, and they're in this constant battle. Are we grateful for what's happened, or are we terrified and devastated that it's no longer there? You know, we do sometimes feel so lucky to have the memories and the moments. And then other times it just feels like this thing is so heavy, we're never going to get out from under it, such as being human. I think that is the definitive human experience right There trying to hold two equally large and heavy truths at once. But yes, there is a hidden beauty in it all. And when we honor our emotions and ride the roller coaster and hold on, just hold on for the dips and the highs, I think we can at least learn something. At most, we feel more in touch with the human experience and like this very deep pool of love that exists in each of us. And the truth is, we need to grieve if someone has passed. If a death has occurred, you need to grieve. Grieving is remembering. Grieving is continuing to hold space for the person and the good feelings. And in a weird way, we really do need that. Grief is definitely hard, but I think society's reaction to it is the main problem, or lack of reaction. That's what makes it so much harder. It often feels like the moment you start grieving, the moment someone passes, the moment that something ends, this, like, timer starts and you only have a certain amount of time to like, get over it before it becomes unacceptable. As a society, we are not very good at dealing with grief. We are okay with happiness, we are okay with anger, even grief. No, the moment you say to someone, oh, you know, this person is no longer in my life. My grandfather died, my mother passed away. Oh, you know, I used to have a sister, but she's not here with us anymore. You can see it in someone's eyes. There's like this immediate reaction for most people to like, shy away from it. Even though most of us have experienced something similar in our lives, we just can't talk about it. In Western culture in particular, we have such a clinical perspective on death that it makes it really hard to fully feel it. And we also don't have any of, like the sacred traditions or the holidays or the celebrations that other cultures do. We don't hold space for those who pass in the same way. You know, in Mexico, they have the Day of the Dead. In Japan, when I was there recently, I was in Okinawa. And they literally have people who they hire just to maintain the graveyards and make them into these almost shrines and monuments of remembering. Pitru Paksha is a 16 day Hindu holiday where families pay homage to ancestors who have departed from the material world. There's so many more examples. If you live in, like the US or the UK or Australia, or like in a very Western culture, what do we have? We have funerals where everyone wears black and then homemade lasagnas, and then nothing. People will show up for the day, but the support slowly fades away. You stay right where they Left you. You just stay still in that moment. And there is very limited space or opportunity to continue to celebrate this person. And you know what? Grief is too big to ever be held by just one person. It's a collaborative community emotion. It's something that needs to be spread across multiple souls. I really believe that. And you can't really do that the way you need to in practice in the society we have today. Like, you can't create community around your grief. There's not as many rituals. It's harder to talk about this shared emotion. Another element of this, I think, is that people don't want to look at grief for too long, because I think they know somewhere deep down that it's in their future you will grieve. One day there is this weird feeling of one day, one day I'll lose someone as well. And I don't want to know what that feels like before I have to. Don't spread it. You're contagious. I don't want to know. I don't want to be part of this yet. I don't know how to explain it, really, but it's something I've seen a lot, and I think it makes it a lot harder for people who are actively grieving, or just grieving in general, to feel like they can admit they're not okay and talk about it. Okay, let's get back on track, because what I really want to talk about now is the roller coaster of grief and letting the emotions that come with it guide you rather than pin you down. I heard this analogy the other day on a grief Reddit page. Strange place to hear it, but nothing I've come across can describe it better. Grief looks like this. Imagine you are on a boat in the middle of the ocean, and the ocean is calm and it's clean, it's beautiful. And then there are these strong winds, and then there are these huge waves, and your boat is hitting the big waves, and you are crushed on either side, and it just feels like you're drowning. It's chaos. It's terrible. You see no sun in the future. That might last for a few minutes, a few hours, and then it calms down again, and it's clear and it's beautiful. And you think, wow, this is gorgeous. And then you get hit by a storm again and the cycle repeats and the storm is still as big. The clear days are still as beautiful. You just get used to navigating the switch and you become a more experienced sailor to kind of use this analogy. So the stormy weather it's still scary, it still hits you just as hard. But you know how to deal with it and you know it will pass and you know that it's kind of part of the process. I think this analogy is a nicer way of saying time doesn't make it easier. It makes you more skilled. Every emotion you feel, that emotion is strengthening you in some way. Even if it doesn't feel like it, you're learning from it. It's powerful. And it's so powerful because the love you felt was as well. I don't know why, but knowing that, knowing that my grief is as big as my love was really helps me lean in. The other thing I like about this metaphor is that it goes against what we have been told about big emotions, which is that we have to feel them as little as possible. That our grief should be made smaller. We should working on making it smaller over time. I just don't agree with that. No, I don't agree with it. When we let ourselves feel and we say, okay, I'm gonna give you permission to take your time to roll through this, to let the boat throw me a little bit, let myself be immersed. The waves don't hurt as much and they pass quicker. Let your grief embrace you. You are allowed to actually feel terrible. Sometimes. It's kind of good to feel terrible and to feel so sad because trust me, you need to feel that way. And it allows the emotion to pass through you quicker than trying to fight it. I think it also allows you to be happier with the moments where you are just simply happy. If you let yourself grieve when your body and your soul needs to, you feel okay with being happy when the moment calls. I think you also fall into the natural rhythmic cycle of grief. It's bad, it's terrible, it's good, it's awful, it's terrible, it's a bit better, it's all part of it. But when you never let yourself feel, you feel none of it. Not even the highs that life promises us, not even the love that still remains. Further problems can also sometimes emerge when we feel multiple ways at once. So call it survivor's guilt, whatever you want to label it. It's this sense of feel, sadness, and also gratitude, joy, but also nostalgia. You don't just feel good, it's not just a one emotion anymore. The good thing to remember, though, is that it's actually incredibly rare to only feel one emotion at once. This is a crazy fact. Humans have access to some 34,000 different kinds of emotions. And I think Grief brings every single one of them to the surface and makes it impossible for you to ever just feel one at a time anymore. That's how incredible our capacity to feel is. So it's okay to be grieving whilst also being excited for the future. It's okay to be grieving whilst also feeling hopeful and nostalgic and joyful and peaceful. When all we have is grief or numbness, we may not be honoring our emotions well enough. Maybe it's guilt, maybe it's shame. But if your whole life is all grief and you think you owe it to that person to always be sad, I don't think that's how your loved one would want it. They would not want you to feel this way. They would say to you, seize whatever love or happiness you can find for me. That's how you can honor me. I don't need your attention 100% of the time. I know I'm with you subconsciously. I know I'm with you in spirit. It's okay to forget me for a moment when the moment is calling you. I want to return to a point I made before, because I don't think I gave it the space it required. How can we create a world where grief is not seen as something to get over, but something to integrate into our evolving selves? I believe this process starts with us. It starts with the holders of grief and it starts with taking that leap of faith and being honest when we're feeling a lot or not our best and creating that space or bridge for someone else to meet you where you are and say, hey, me too. I feel this as well. I have this beautiful friend, Stacy. And the reason that I think we bonded so quickly and immensely was because from the get go, we were open with our emotions and we were open with the day to day experience of grieving, but also the day to day experience of being happy and feeling sometimes okay, sometimes not, and getting to see all the emotional sides of something. Of course you're going to feel shy about it at first. The depth that it will bring to your relationships though, and the comfort it will bring you to know that someone else understands you is immensely gratifying and immensely special. I like this theory that's called the Continuing bonds theory. It's similar to what I was just talking about. And this theory basically challenges the outdated stages of grief narrative that we have to move through five stages and once we get to acceptance, we're never depressed again, we're never bargaining again, we're never in denial again. The continuing bonds theory is that for the rest of our days, we probably will continue to nurture an internal relationship with someone. We will find ways to continue to let them influence and guide us. There is not a discrete timeline or section of emotions that we are feeling all at once. At one point there is acceptance some days, there is deep sadness and denial other days. But if we find a way to integrate them into our lives, it feels like we can move through those emotions a lot easier. Find a way to stay connected with your loved one. Get a tattoo of them. Keep that framed photo on your desk so people say, who's that? And you can say, it's this person that I love. Don't be afraid to bring them up in conversation. You're doing people a service by talking about it. You never know who one day will think back to that conversation that you had about your grief when they are grieving and say, wow, I learned a lot from that. I learned a lot from that person. I feel better about discussing it because they discussed it first. I just think sitting with grief isn't easy. It's a process that asks us to be still with emotions that are very big, heavy, uncertain. But when we stop resisting that and allow ourselves to truly feel, we create space for understanding and for healing and for the possibility of moving forward without forcing our grief to be done. We allow ourselves to still feel it. And that's so important. Okay, so coming up, let's get personal. I'm going to share a bit about how grief has shown up in my own life and how learning to honor my emotions through it has changed the way I carry loss. Love the present moment, everything in between. So stay tuned. We'll be right back after this brief pause.

[Ali Luber]

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[Gemma Spag]

Hey, it's Gemma. And if you love Mantra, where we explore weekly wisdom and self discovery, then you have to check out Starstruck with Ali Luba. Just like we explore mantras to guide your week, astrologer Ali Luba reveals the deeper astrological forces shaping our careers, relationships and personal growth, giving you cosmic insights you can apply to your own life. Every Wednesday she sits down with celebrity guests for Raw in Studio astrology readings that uncover the faded twists, planetary influences and life changing moments written in the stars. From career highs to relationship relationship drama, nothing is off limits. Expect deep dives, jaw dropping revelations and astrological insights you won't hear anywhere else. So whether you're an astrology newbie or a chart reading pro, Starstruck is your all access pass to the astrological side of fame. Starstruck is an open mind original powered by Pave Studios. New episodes drop every Wednesday. Just search Starstruck wherever you listen to.

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[Gemma Spag]

Online now that we've looked at the meaning behind today's mantra, I honor my emotions as they guide me through grief. It's time to get personal with you guys and share some of my own insights and reflections about this phrase. There have been many times in my life where I've tried to outrun my grief. I think because I have a complicated relationship with death and because I have a complicated relationship with some of those people that I miss thinking about. When my first big adult relationship ended, I definitely was grieving, but I don't think I properly grieved for at least three months. And then suddenly I was like, wow, this person's moved on and I'm still at day one because I wasn't allowing myself to feel this when my grandfather died, you know, that was really hard and it was a very complex way to experience loss. We were so close. He was such an integral. He was almost like another parent to me. We had such an incredible bond and he actually passed away during the COVID lockdowns and in Australia when the lockdowns were happening, you weren't able to cross into a different state. So I went to his funeral over zoom in my bedroom in Canberra with none of my support network around me. I didn't have any family. I was alone in this space. I didn't get to say goodbye. Luckily, some of my other family members did. I didn't get that space and you know what? I still feel very, almost resentful of it nowadays, where I'm like, why? Why didn't they let me to say goodbye? Like, would it really have hurt anyone to say goodbye? But it's just the way that it is. I didn't get to be in that space with him. I didn't get to go to the funeral. I didn't get to take part in any of the rituals. My grief was really, really delayed. You know, I would still go up to my family house and he wouldn't be there. But because I hadn't been able to see him in those final days or acknowledge that he was gone, there was this weird part of me that's like, oh, he's just at the grocery store. He's just on a trip. Like, he'll be back. And I imagine some part of that was very, very protective. But at some stage, I also began to feel very guilty. You know, did I not love him enough? Was I broken? Was I just actually this really cold, callous person? My breakthrough. This is going to sound very bizarre, was two years later. I still thought about him constantly, but I was just waiting. I just was like, I just want to cry. I just want to feel sad about this. I know there is this thing that needs to come out. And one day I was watching Little Women, the movie at my house, and it was like 3pm And I was just watching this movie. It's kind of on my phone for a little bit. And then I was deeply engaged in it. And it was the scene where Beth dies. Spoiler alert. Sorry if no one knows that that's what happened. But Beth dies. And I was watching it, and there's this, like, really intense scenes around it. And I was just watching it, and I just started crying. I just sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. And so. And I did not stop for at least three hours. And I was thinking about it. I was like, wow, maybe I've avoided all these movies about death, TV episodes about death, books about death. I've avoided going to other funerals that I probably should have gone to because I wasn't ready to process this loss. And here is this first encounter I've had with what that would have felt like to actually get to mourn him in the moment. And it is so devastating, and it's dark, but it's also so beautifully cathartic. And I felt like, okay, this is remembering. This is keeping him alive for me. It also made my emotions so much more accessible as well. This is what that moment really taught me. It taught me when we fear grief, we unknowingly close ourselves off to so much more. And it doesn't actually make the grief better. The pain just burrows inside of us deeper and deeper, and then it will violently come out the other side in unexpected ways. That's what happened to me. There's also a weird bit of beauty in grief that sometimes feels nice. I wouldn't change it, but that moment, it made me feel more human than I think I had in a long while. It made me feel more connected to my grandfather. And nowadays I have this ritual where every time I think of him, like, I look up at the clouds and just say, like, hey, I'm checking in, just thinking of you. You still have some part in my life here. One of the best ways to honor your emotions as they guide you through grief is to create rituals like this where you stay in touch with your grief. You kind of have a regular check in with it so that there's no fear and avoidance there. Create plans with your family to have an annual dinner, to have an annual celebration of their life, to have an annual Christmas tradition. Have a spot that you can visit. One beautiful thing that my grandma did was that she planted this beautiful tree in the backyard of her house, and we got her a bench and we put it up there. And it's like this space where you enter the grief bubble. Other traditions or rituals, writing them a birthday card every year, making sure that they show up in your stories. You don't feel weird about saying, oh, my dad did this for me once. Oh, my sister used to love that. My best friend, she was great at that thing. Cook their meals, meals that you know they loved. Cook them, really engage in that process. Carry a token of them, something that you can hold onto as a connection. I heard of someone having a grief pebble or a grief stone that they carried, like, in every handbag, every suitcase, to every meeting, to every spot they went. And anytime they were thinking about that person, they held this stone, and it was like this connection to them. You know, I had a friend say this recently. Grief is a portal. It's like there's people on one side who've never experienced grief, and there's people on the other side, and you can never go back. There's things you see on that other side that you can never unsee, at least not for a long time. It feels very violent going through it. And then you get to the other side and you're transformed. And over time, you feel better about it. You don't feel better but you feel like this is normal and this is something I can do. My final point here is I want to talk about what grief has given me that I never expected. I speak about my grandfather a lot, but I've lost friends, I've lost other family members. I just think grief has made me feel safer about death. I know that there are people on the other side who I'll get to see again. I can see that they went through that. And yes, they're not here anymore, but they're also probably not in pain anymore. Grief has taught me to value my family more. It's made me want to do family trips with my, you know, what I previously would have avoided. And I've made all these memories. Grief has also allowed me to feel more grateful for the moments that I do have of being alive and for the very, very small things that sometimes we overlook. I want to talk about the deep thought of the day here. Grief doesn't follow a straight path, and neither does the way we learn to honor it. And so, as I sit with everything this mantra has brought up, this is the deep thought that really fits all of these emotions. And it's just the perfect way of describing what it feels like to me. This is from Earl Grohlman. Grief is not a disorder, a disease, or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, spiritual, and physical necessity. The price that you pay for love. Listen, I love this quote. I also have a love hate relationship with this quote because I know it's true and I wish it wasn't so. Grief is the price you pay for love. Yeah, it is. And I think it would be a much worse fate to not love someone at all, to stay closed off. And maybe you'd never experience loss. There's a lot of other stuff you'd never experience either. Grief is also this beautiful spiritual experience of knowing, wow, I love someone so deeply that their absence has caused me to feel this so profoundly. Isn't that just so human and remarkable to feel this way? Aren't these memories, my ability to have these memories of this person, my ability to feel like they're still here, that's magical in some way? And the absence of grief would probably be more troubling. Now, I'd like us to take a few moments to pause and really sit with this mantra. It's been very heavy today. I completely understand. This is probably bringing up a lot of emotions. You can probably hear it in my voice. It's bringing things up for me as well. But let's just take a moment. We're gonna listen to our custom music track that's gonna help create space for you to absorb today's insights and consider how you might bring this mantra into your next week and maybe even beyond. Again, if this practice isn't your style, if you don't really wanna think too much about this mantra today, that's okay. Feel free to Skip ahead about 30 seconds. But as you settle in, let's keep our mantra in mind. I honor my emotions as they guide me through grief. Let it guide your thoughts as the music plays, and give yourself a moment to reflect and connect with what this mantra means for you. Beautiful. Now that we've explored how we can honour our emotions through grief, it's time to talk about how we can turn our reflections into action. I'll share some journal prompts and of course, our weekly challenge right after this short break.

[Ali Luber]

24 chefs, 24 culinary showdowns for 24 hours straight. Which chef will outfit, outcook, outpace, outlast the competition?

[Gemma Spag]

No chef escapes the clock.

[Ali Luber]

Season premiere 24 and 24 Last Chef Standing Sunday, April 27th at 8.

[Gemma Spag]

See you first on Food Network.

[Ali Luber]

Stream next day on Max.

[Gemma Spag]

On $5 meal deal.

[Lisa Bilyeu]

Where you are today does not dictate the person you can become. Now, how the hell do you actually become the person you want to be? It is with me, Lisa Bilyeux, and my podcast, Women of Impact, with my amazing guests like Mel Robbins, Jay Shetty, Angie Martinez. And they come on to share their wisdom so that we can take it away and actually be able to use that as a tool in our lives. So, my homie, tune in to Women of Impact with me, Lisa Billew, wherever you're listening to this podcast and let's crush our badassery and confidence. Confidence together.

[Gemma Spag]

Welcome back. Let's take this week's mantra beyond reflection and into some real, meaningful practices for our daily lives, starting with our journal exercise. Remember, if you don't have your journal handy, that's totally fine. Just take a moment to sit with these questions and let them unfold in your thoughts, wherever you are. So here are my prompts to help you explore and connect with this week's mantra. I honor my emotions as they guide me through grief. First, have you ever felt pressure to grieve a certain way or within a certain time frame? How has that influenced your ability to honour your emotions? Next, think about a time when grief surprised you, when it showed up in a way you didn't expect? What did that moment teach you? And finally, grief often comes in waves. How can you Create space in your life to acknowledge and sit with those waves when they arrive every week. I also like to share a challenge inspired by our Mantra to help you take what we discuss and turn it into real, actionable steps in your life. I'd love to hear how it's going this week, so reach out to me at Mantra openmind for your thoughts, feelings, and discussions each month. I love responding to your questions and comments in our special bonus episode, available exclusively on Open Mind Plus. But today I'm calling this week's Challenge the what I Wish I Could say Challenge. I want you to either speak or write down words you never got to say. Maybe to a person you lost, maybe to a past version of yourself, or even an experience that ended too soon. Allow your emotions to be fully unfiltered. This is just for you. Be patient with yourself. If you can't think of anything, that's okay. Go away, come back, sit with whatever comes up. Love, anger, gratitude, regret. Something else entirely. There are so many emotions you can be feeling right now. Filter them all. Put them all down onto this page. I don't know. I think that they can probably hear them. I think that they'll know what you're trying to communicate. And as a reminder, reach out to Mantra openmind on Instagram to share how this challenge is working for you. All right, as we wrap up this week's episode, I want to share a few final thoughts about this mantra. I honor my emotions as they guide me through grief. I want to remind you, as a society, we are not very good at talking about grief, and we most certainly should be talking about it more. When we don't talk about grief, it means that we are not prepared for when it will inevitably come. We do not share strategies. We do not find community, we do not find camaraderie, and we shy away from rituals and conversations about whoever it is in our life that we feel we've lost. I don't care what anyone else thinks. If you want to talk about that person, if you want to bring them into your life, please, please do bring them up in conversation. Make them visible, make them known. Talking about our emotions normalizes them. The people who might feel uncomfortable with that will one day perhaps be very grateful that you did normalize it for them in the future so that when they go through this same experience, they feel open to talking about it. It's a beautiful thing. Grief is not a solo emotion. Grief is a shared emotion. Grief is a community emotion. Grief is something that as a society, we need to be better at managing. So please create your rituals, keep this person in your life and ride the wave. Your emotions are never going to be the same one day to the next when it comes to grief, but the secret is they are all valuable even if they feel terrible. I promise if you have one takeaway from this episode, let it be. This grief isn't something you need to fix. It's not something you need to outrun. It is something that requires you to honor it and learn from it and learn to carry it with you as you move through life. So my lovely listeners, my friends, please be gentle with yourself as you grieve and trust that wherever you are in your grief right now, that is exactly where you're meant to be. Thank you for joining Mantra, an exclusive Open Mind original powered by Pave Studios. At OpenMind, we value your support, so share your thoughts on social media and remember to rate, review and follow Mantra to help others discover the show. For ad free listening and early access to Mantra with me, Gemma Spegg. We invite you to subscribe to Open Mind plus on Apple Podcasts. I'll share another insightful and introspective Mantra with you next Monday. Until then, keep showing up for yourself and your journey. I'm Gemma Spaeg. See you next week. Mantra is hosted by me, Gemma Spagh, and is an Open Mind original powered by Pave Studios. This episode was brought to life by the Mantra Team. Max Cutler, Chris Acevedo, Ron Shapiro, Stacy Warrenker, Sarah Camp and Paul Libeskin. Thank you for listening. Ever wonder what the stars have to say about your favorite celebrities and yourself? Ali Luba is breaking it all down on her brand new show, Starstruck. New episodes drop every Wednesday. Just search Starstruck wherever you listen to podcasts.