Mariners Church Weekend Messages

Episode: October 19 – Rejoice in Your Spouse NOT "Variety is the Spice of Life"
Speaker: Eric Geiger, Senior Pastor
Date: October 20, 2025

Overview

In this concluding message of the “Proverbs for your love life” series, Senior Pastor Eric Geiger directly challenges the popular cultural notion, "Variety is the spice of life," especially as it relates to sex and marriage. Drawing from Proverbs 5, Geiger contrasts the world’s views on sexual fulfillment with God’s vision of intimacy, exclusivity, and commitment within marriage. He addresses both the dangers of alternative sexual narratives (like pornography and hookup culture) and the profound beauty intended in the marital relationship, urging listeners—single or married—to embrace God's better path for love, sex, and satisfaction.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Challenging Cultural Narratives

• Opening Thoughts (00:26–02:50):
  • Geiger opens by referencing Ashley Madison, a website promoting extramarital affairs, whose head of sales once said, "Our biggest competitor is the Bible." Geiger observes, “The Bible gives a very different vision for life and sex than Ashley Madison was offering the world. Though they are competing visions, there really is no competition because the vision that God offers is far superior…” (00:46)
• Series Framework:
  • Throughout the series, Geiger has examined worldly proverbs about love and sex, contrasting them with biblical wisdom.

2. The World’s Vision vs. God’s Vision

• The Warning of Proverbs 5 (10:00–22:00):

  • Uses the metaphor of “cisterns” (wells) to describe where people seek satisfaction—physically and sexually.
  • Compares his childhood experience of water quality in New Orleans to the spiritual search for true satisfaction.

  “Where do you go for your sexual satisfaction?” (12:50)

  • Warns against seeking satisfaction in “the wrong well,” leading to regret and ruin—specifically naming pornography, hookup culture, and commitment-without-commitment as counterfeit sources.

• Specific Dangers Called Out:

  • Pornography (22:30–27:45):
    • Cites research: “Pornography by offering an endless harem of sexual objects...develop new maps in their brains...we long to keep it activated.” – Norman Doidge (24:44)
    • Offers strong pastoral advice: “I’m pleading with you to do whatever you can to get this out of your life because you think it’s satisfying you and it’s ruining you.” (25:50)
  • Hookup Culture/Tinder (27:45–30:00):
    • Notes widespread dissatisfaction from a decade of Tinder: “It hasn’t made people satisfied. It’s only hurt people. It’s lowered our mental health...” (29:28)
  • Sex Outside of Marriage (30:05–33:00):
    • Stresses God’s design—sexual union after complete commitment.

3. God’s Grand Vision for Sex

• Proverbs 5:15–23 (33:00–38:00):
  • Reads the explicit biblical text, noting its unabashed celebration of marital intimacy.
  • Explains the metaphors: cistern = woman; fountain = man; the passage is about mutual, God-honoring pleasure and satisfaction within marriage.
  • Emphasizes: “The pleasure, the sexual pleasure between the man and the woman is like being drunk. The sexual intimacy is so refreshing to marriage, even therapeutic...” (37:30)

4. Three Ingredients for God’s Design (38:30–48:30)

• 1. Belonging
  • “You actually see that there’s mutual belonging, which was shocking in the early days of Christianity because the Roman Empire viewed women as property. …Christians held them up and treasured them and valued them.” (39:05)
  • Sex as the continual restatement of wedding vows—a sign of being fully known and fully loved.
  • Challenges: What kind of person are you becoming because of the sex you’re having?
• 2. Exclusivity
  • Sexual intimacy as exclusive to marriage: “Don’t bring something foreign, something strange into the environment to mess it up.” (42:12)
  • Urges listeners to weigh risk and reward for stepping outside of marriage: “What reward do you really want?...the risk is really high.” (42:38)
  • Cites research: Christian married couples report the best sex, especially those who attend church together.
• 3. Commitment
  • “The world tells you you can’t control your urges. …Not at all what the Proverbs say.” (45:05)
  • Christians are not beasts ruled by passion, but image bearers filled with God’s Spirit and characterized by self-control.
  • Marriage as the act of “greatly overestimating the value” of your spouse—“I treasure you dramatically above all else.” (47:35)

5. Restoration and Grace for All (48:30–50:15)

• Addresses those with sexual regrets or painful pasts: “You are not impure before your heavenly Father. He has purified you and made you his own. You are brand new and fully forgiven.” (49:10)
• Shares personal testimony, affirming it is possible to embrace God’s vision regardless of your story.

6. Ultimate Satisfaction in Jesus (50:15–end)

• Concludes with the story of Jesus and the woman at the well (John 4):

  “Jesus says to her, If you would have the water I offer, you would never thirst again.” (51:02)

• Encourages all listeners—married, single, regretful, or content—that ultimate satisfaction is found in relationship with Jesus.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Our biggest competitor is the Bible.” – Evan Back, as quoted by Eric Geiger (00:37)
• “Variety is not one of the ingredients to have this great sex...you will not find variety as one of the ingredients.” (38:00)
• “Sex is a continual restatement of the wedding vows...I am bare before you and I’m fully loved by you...” (39:46)
• “What am I doing with sex? But a deeper question, who am I becoming because of the sex I’m having?” (Jonathan Grant, cited at 41:00)
• “Christian married couples have better sex than non-Christian married couples; Christian couples who go to church together have better sex than Christian couples who don’t…” (44:15)
• “You are an image bearer of God... The same Spirit that conquered Jesus from the dead now lives within you.” (46:00)
• “Marriage is you overestimating the value of your spouse... I treasure you dramatically above all else, all everyone else.” (47:41)
• “You are not impure before your heavenly Father. He has purified you and made you his own.” (49:08)
• “You have tried to be satisfied in so many relationships and in so many ways, and it’s never been enough. The water I have for you will really quench.” (51:10, referencing Jesus)
• Humorous encouragement to stay and sing after communion:
  “Only one disciple didn’t sing. His name was Judas. Don’t be like Judas. Sing and celebrate the grace of your Savior, Jesus.” (54:00)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:26–02:50 — Setting up the topic; “the Bible is Ashley Madison’s biggest competitor”
• 10:00–22:00 — Metaphor of cisterns/water: where do you seek satisfaction?
• 22:30–27:45 — Dangers of pornography; research on its harms
• 27:45–30:00 — Hookup culture and its failures
• 30:05–33:00 — “Commitment with one’s body without total commitment”
• 33:00–38:00 — Reading & explaining Proverbs 5’s grand vision for sex
• 38:30–41:15 — Ingredient #1: Belonging; mutuality in marriage
• 42:12–44:45 — Ingredient #2: Exclusivity; risk & reward of infidelity
• 45:05–48:00 — Ingredient #3: Commitment; learning self-control and treasuring your spouse
• 49:10 — Restoration for those with past regrets
• 51:00 — “Ultimate satisfaction in Jesus,” Jesus and the woman at the well
• 54:00 — Humor and practical direction: “Don’t be like Judas. Sing after communion.”

Tone & Style

Eric Geiger combines direct biblical teaching, personal transparency, scientific research, and humor throughout his sermon. The tone is pastoral—at times fatherly—firm in conviction but compassionate to those struggling, regretful or wrestling through the topic. Practical actions and a grand vision are elevated over legalism or shame.

Conclusion

This message asserts that the world’s vision of “variety” in sexual intimacy leads to regret, emptiness, and pain, while God’s design—rooted in belonging, exclusivity, and commitment—produces satisfaction, healing, and joy within marriage. The ultimate satisfaction every person seeks, however, is found not in any romantic or sexual relationship, but in Jesus Christ himself, who forgives and restores all who come to him. The call is clear: embrace God’s better vision, fight for purity, honor your commitments, and receive Christ’s mercy—then respond with joyful worship.