Mariners Church Weekend Messages
September 21 - Looks Are Fleeting NOT "Love at First Sight"
Speaker: Senior Pastor Eric Geiger
Date: September 23, 2025
Episode Overview
In this episode, Pastor Eric Geiger debunks the cultural myth of "love at first sight" as a foundation for romantic relationships, urging listeners to build their lives and relationships on the enduring foundation of Christ and the principles found in Proverbs. Drawing from personal stories, biblical texts, and practical wisdom, Geiger explains why physical attraction or outward appearances are insufficient bedrocks, highlighting four key qualities rooted in Proverbs 31: character, compassion, wisdom, and hard work.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Foundations Matter – The Parable and Fable [00:26–03:50]
- Geiger opens with the fable of the three little pigs from his childhood, contrasting versions to highlight, “what you build on matters.”
- He connects the story to Jesus’s parable in Matthew 7 (wise and foolish builders), emphasizing, “...if you build your life on something other than him [Jesus], you're always building your life on something less than Him.” (03:15)
- Storms will come for everyone; what endures depends on your foundation.
- Sets the stage for the series "Proverbs for your love life," exposing fake “proverbs” from culture and contrasting them with biblical wisdom.
2. Debunking "Love at First Sight" [05:10–09:40]
- Geiger describes meeting his wife, Kay, in college—yes, there was attraction, but it “wasn’t love at first sight.”
- Memorable quote:
“If someone hears us talk about how we met and started to date, if they would say, was that love at first sight? I would reject that because it actually cheapens the commitment that Kay and I made for one another.” (07:34)
- He humorously describes a literal accident (falling off his bike vs. “falling in love”) to illustrate the difference between genuine commitment and fleeting attraction.
- He encourages young men struggling to pursue relationships:
“You feel more awkward on the inside than you're coming off. Come on, man, you can do this, man, you can. I believe I was awkward too, man, you can do this.” (09:02)
3. Cultural Myths About Beauty [10:30–14:00]
- Main point: A relationship based on sight/appearance is a weak foundation.
- Time changes our appearances. “We want the foundation of our relationships to be more than just sight.”
- Quotes Proverbs 31:30:
“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting. But a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.” (12:18)
- Explains “fear of the Lord” as reverence, not terror, and notes it’s applicable for both men and women.
4. The Problem with External Standards [14:00–19:35]
- Beauty standards change over time and are unreliable:
“The standards of beauty change. And so love at first sight is damaging...it tempts you to have beauty or appearance as the foundation of your marriage. But it's not strong enough...” (15:58)
- Warns singles against shallow lists (“height, hairline, body type”) in seeking a partner:
“Her hair and her body type have nothing to do with the kind of mom she's going to be for your children.” (17:42)
- For the married, relying on looks is risky—“what happens if there's cancer? What happens if there's a car accident?”
5. What Should Be on Your List? – Proverbs 31 Model [19:35–28:40]
- Both men and women are called to embody Proverbs 31 qualities:
- Four essential “bricks” for a strong relationship:
- Character:
- For men: “Her husband is known at the city gates...”
- For women: “Who can find a wife of noble character? She is far more precious than jewels.” (21:29)
- Compassion for others:
- Cares for the vulnerable and needy.
- Wisdom from above:
- Comes from “fearing God”; not allowing base desires to rule.
- Hardworking:
- “She draws on her strength and reveals that her arms are strong.”
- Character:
- Memorable illustration:
Geiger’s lifelong prayer for his daughters’ future husbands:“Lord, I pray that there will be a man that enters her life...who loves Jesus, loves people, and works hard.” (23:00)
6. Reversing the Order of Attraction [28:40–30:38]
- Challenge to singles:
“What if instead of asking, am I physically attracted to this person?...What if you found...the person who loves God the most?...God, help me see what you see.” (29:07)
- Encourages pursuing “the most godly,” not “the hottest.”
7. Compassion and Marriage as Blessing to the World [30:38–31:46]
- Advice to singles: Carefully observe how your date treats others.
“Because how the person treats others is how the person's gonna treat you.” (31:13)
- The Christian vision: Two compassionate people united to bless the world.
8. Wisdom and Hard Work [31:46–34:25]
- Importance of wisdom (“wisdom will guide you through...challenges”).
- Hard work is emphasized both for singles and in marriage:
“Laziness spills...into every area of somebody's life. If someone is lazy in their career, they'll be lazy in their relationship with you.” (32:15)
- Advocates that same energy used in career should also be directed toward nurturing one’s marriage.
9. Become the Person You Seek [34:25–36:10]
- Story: Leading high school boys in reflecting about the kind of women they’d want to marry—and what kind of men those women would be seeking.
“If you want a woman like this with these characteristics, you have to be a man with these characteristics.” (34:52)
- Encouragement:
“If we follow Jesus, he turns us into those kinds of people. You follow after Jesus and He changes your character.” (35:30)
10. Jesus as Transformational Foundation [36:10–End]
- Only Jesus transforms us into people of character, compassion, wisdom, hard work.
- He changes how we view our relationships, our work, and our possessions:
“You follow after Jesus and He makes you a person of compassion. He changes how you treat people because your heart is...overwhelmed with how he treated you...” (36:58)
- A life (and marriage) built on Jesus can withstand storms and the attacks of the enemy.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On “love at first sight” versus commitment:
“It actually cheapens the commitment that Kay and I made for one another. It wasn't love at first sight, nor was it falling in love as if it was an accident.” (07:36)
-
On fleeting beauty:
“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting. But a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.” (12:18, quoting Proverbs 31:30)
-
On what really matters in a partner:
“Her hair and her body type have nothing to do with the kind of mom she's going to be for your children. And if she's going to be with you through your ups and downs and your career, nothing at all.” (17:39)
-
On lists and what’s essential:
“If you have a list...these are the bricks you want in your marriage...” (20:25)
-
On being the right person:
“If you want a woman like this with these characteristics, you have to be a man with these characteristics.” (34:52)
-
On how Christ changes us:
“You follow after Jesus and He keeps working on you. He works on your integrity. He works on your character.” (35:36)
-
On foundation and storms in life:
“When the enemy comes...and wants to blow down your house, he can't blow down the house because it's built on the rock and the rock is Jesus the Christ, the Son of the living God.” (37:20)
Segment Rundown & Timestamps
- Intro & Fable connection: 00:26–03:50
- Why "Love at First Sight" is a bad foundation: 05:10–09:40
- Personal dating story & encouragement for singles: 09:00–10:30
- Beauty, culture, and biblical wisdom: 10:30–14:00
- Dangers of shallow standards: 14:00–19:35
- The Proverbs 31 model—characteristics to seek: 19:35–28:40
- Transforming attraction—what draws you?: 28:40–30:38
- Compassion in marriage: 30:38–31:46
- Necessity of wisdom and work ethic: 31:46–34:25
- Challenge: become the person you admire: 34:25–36:10
- Jesus as ultimate foundation: 36:10–End
Summary Takeaways
- The cultural idea of “love at first sight” makes for a poor and shallow foundation in relationships.
- Physical beauty and charm are not lasting or sufficient; character, compassion, wisdom, and hard work—rooted in a reverence for God—build lasting, resilient marriages.
- “Become the person you want to marry”—let Jesus transform you as you seek Him.
- Build your life and relationships on the enduring foundation that is Christ.