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Welcome to the Win with Paid Ads podcast for small business owners, entrepreneurs and really anyone who has anything you want more people to find. Whether you're starting from ground zero or scaling an eight figure business, you are exactly who this podcast was created for. Because you being the best kept secret helps no one. Right? That's why in every episode, I'll show you how you can use paid ads to hit your goals 10 times sooner. It's time you finally learn how to win with paid ads. You or someone on your team can do this. I'll show you how to score and be known by more. Let's get started. Welcome back to the Win with Paid Ads podcast. So I used to think that winning more meant more hours, more output, more pressure. But the best ads that I have ever made, the best ideas I have ever had, and the best moments in my life came when I actually stopped working and I started living. And a part of me was like, do I even do this episode? Because to tell people, just live your life, that sounds so far fetched and crazy. But I actually want to prove to you with science and with some backing that the thing that was actually blocking me being able to create the best ads and you being able to create the best ads could be you suffering with something like I was. So I'm going to share that with you today. So when I really think about what winning meant to me, it really meant always being on. I was like, I have to constantly work every gap that existed in my life. I was like, I have to fill this with productivity. I'm like, I can't go on a walk and not be listening to a podcast. I can't go drive to the gas station and not have a book on. I can't, you know, be in the backseat of an airplane or front seat of an airplane and be sitting there without voice memoing. Like, I need to be sending messages. Like, I was just like, every single second. There was no room to be. Like, I have nothing happening. There's not, I'm not filling the gap. Like, there was no blank space. Literally. I was like, every single moment has to be filled with some input, input, input or output, output, output. There was no existing. And so I feel like I would check slack 24 7. I would never actually let my brain rest. And I'm not kidding you, when I went to go watch a movie, Kyle would be like, hey, let's go watch a movie. I was like, yikes. What could I be doing with those two hours that is so jacked up? That is a habit that had to get freaking broken so I could live my life. And I really thought being productive meant that I was winning. And listen, I'm. I'm not gonna get, like. I'm not gonna lie and be like, oh, no, I wish I hadn't been so productive. I'm so glad I was productive. It absolutely got me to a place where we were able to achieve our results sooner, and I absolutely have to let that go now. Like, I'm glad I worked my little booty off. I also am glad that I am focusing on spending time with my kids, turning my phone off. Like, y', all. I don't know if you've heard of brick, like, bricking your phone, but I am buying a brick. Like, that was my link. My weekend to do list says buy a brick because there's boundaries. And I talked about this in another episode, but it's like, even with food, even with alcohol, if you just say, I'm not drinking, and then you don't, versus I'm not gonna snack, and then you don't, that teaches your brain that you actually have a boundary. I was like, I need boundaries. And I used to, like, think so wrongly of boundaries. I was like, boundaries shouldn't exist. That's how you reach higher performance. And I realized the most successful people, the most professional athletes, they have hard boundaries around rest. And so I know I've talked about that before, but I really want to share with you the kind of science behind how creativity and actually having fun specifically can lead to your best ads you could ever create. Okay, so when you are stressed, your brain is in survival mode. Your amygdala is activated, you narrow your focus, you repeat the known patterns, and you actually become less creative when you're stressed. When you're relaxed and you're having fun, your brain enters default mode, network. Your brain enters default mode network. And that is where creativity happens, where connections happen, and where ideas arise. Your best ideas don't come when you're actually forcing and trying to get those ideas to come out. They come when your brain actually has the space to create them. So let's talk about dopamine and play. So when you have fun and you're playing outside, when Easton's like, mom, like, yesterday, Kyle was on the way home from a flight from Palm Springs, California, and I was home with the kids, and we had someone here who was helping with house things. But instead of me sitting inside and maybe, like, relaxing because I'd been gone, I was like, hey, why don't you stay inside and just you can work on the laundry, do some dish stuff while I just go play with the kids. And I played with the kids for three hours. I was like, what time is it? It was 7:45 and the sun was still up because it's getting close to summertime. And I was like, man, I just had so much fun with my kids for three hours. And I had actually had a business idea. As soon as I walked inside, I was like, man, it just popped into my brain. I wasn't even looking for it. And it was like, here's an idea, Here's a new thing that you can change in your business with your team. And I immediately sent a message to the team. I was like, let's make this happen. It's because I actually gave my brain space to calm down for two seconds. Lord have mercy. We gotta take a break sometimes. So the cool thing about fun, it releases dopamine. The cool thing about dopamine is it increases your motivation, it increases your memory and it boosts your problem solving. Fun literally makes you better at your job. What the reason I'm not as good at my job is cause I'm not having enough fun. Freaking doctor prescribe me fun. F U n we are doing this. In fact, there's actually a book called the Artist's Way. And it says that creativity requires not suggest, not might me good if it says creativity requires play, rest and exploration. And so there's two key concepts that this book talks about. Number one is artist dates. And it says doing things just for joy with no outcome attached to it and you can't do it with someone else. Like these artist dates are supposed to be just for you. So actually I've been doing artist dates. Watching the Taylor Swift documentary was my artist date, ice skating, artist date, snowboarding by myself in Colorado, Artist date. And I'm actually about to tell you something really special about Colorado and being with my mom and really just thinking about what winning means. So I'll get there. But number one was artist dates. So doing something just for fun with no outcome attached. And it's crazy how when you don't have an outcome, it's like, I'm doing this and it's like, can just be, it can just be fun. Whatever it is, it's so freeing. The second thing is filling the well. So think about your happiness and your energy as a well. You cannot create from an empty place. If all you do is output, the well will run dry. I was in Costa Rica recently and this is so insane. The five of us will make $50 million collectively in our businesses. And the WI fi did not work. Well, we had no shower for three days, y'. All. What? That is gross. Okay, so there was no shower. I'm not kidding you. So the shower did not work. Not only did not have hot water, it did not work. And so we had to bathe in the sink. We had to get a washcloth. Bathe in a sink. And the way that we did not even try to get a different Airbnb because we were so happy living with each other, we were like. I literally was like, I can't wait to get downstairs. I have never not been on my phone so much that I was like, you know what? I don't want to miss a thing. It's like that song and I don't want to miss a thing. I literally did not want to miss a thing. I ran upstairs, I took my clothes off, I changed as quickly as I could because the living was so good. So good. I didn't even wanna open my phone. My phone pickups were down 95%. That's crazy. That is on living a life worth living and having fun now for me, talking about business with a bunch of successful business owners, that is fun for me. It was so funny. Macy and I were sitting in first class and we were on the airplane and on the way there and the way back, the different flight attendants were like, hey, you're supposed to be on vacation. Why are you working? We were like, we have four hours of non interruption. This is vacation. We were like. And they were like, this is not compute. And we're like, yeah, our work is fun. Having ideas of how we can help our people and grow our team and change the world. It is literally fun. Think about this, y'. All, think about this. If we were an artist and we were sitting outside on Saturday morning at 11am Painting the most beautiful piece of art, would anybody judge us? They'd be like, no, she's just doing her craft. It's so beautiful. She's an artist. But if you're sitting outside at 10am on your computer, it's like, what are you doing? Stop working. Isn't that interesting? The fun is the work. The fun is the journey. The fun is being in the middle of it. Granted to do my best job, sometimes I need a different type of fun and you need a different type of fun. That's where these other things come into play. And so what I would encourage you to do is set a date on your calendar for you to do something fun every week. Non Negotiable. I realize that if you fill the well, if you take yourself on an artist date, the quality of your ads that you make is directly tied to the quality of your life. If you are living a good life, if you are so happy, if you are so fulfilled, good golly, Miss Molly, that will transfer into your ads, right? Whereas if you're living a stress life and you're high strung and it's not going well, your ads are probably going to transfer a little bit of frustration, because underneath you, there's frustration, right? The quality of your life is directly tied to the quality of your ads and vice versa. Next thing, let's talk about Colorado for just a second. So when you set up your ad, I want you to just pause for just a second and say, why am I even creating this? What do I really want? Let's talk big picture. When you launch this ad, yes, you want a sale, but why do you want the sale? To get revenue. Why do you want the revenue? Well, what does that revenue do for you and your team and your business and your family? So I'll tell you. Tell you. So I'd never flown private before, and we were hosting our hall of fame retreat for our seven and eight figure clients. And my mom is our house manager here. And so mom got to go with us because she helps run the house and run the ship while we're there. And so because there were so many people locally here in Atlanta on our team, we. We were able to make the math make sense to fly private. And I actually did negotiate with the pilot a deal, and it worked out great. I helped him with ads, he helped me with the flight. And so what was really cool is I will never forget this moment where I reached across in the private plane and I grabbed my mom's hand, and I was like, are you excited? And she was like, yes. She's like, I'm so excited. And I'm like, I'll never forget that moment. My mom is getting to live things and do things that she never would have done if this business wasn't growing and successful and profitable as it is. And so moments like that and even, like flying my whole family first class to Colorado, it was so cool being able to. We landed and everybody was fed. Everybody was comfortable. We got off first. The kids were crazy. So it was really nice. Everything was just so smooth. And it was like, how special that we got to create that for them. Like, my mom got off the flight and she was like, I've never experienced a flight like that. And Being able to, like, take my mom and my stepdad and my kids dog sledding. One of the coolest things I've ever experienced in my life. We got to feed the dogs, we got to pet the dogs, we got to leash the dogs, we got to, you know, ride around. And those dogs were living their best life. You know, I heard this recently that there are some animals. I think it's a certain type of dog. Or was it a horse? I don't remember. Oh, it's a donkey. There's certain donkeys that if they are not worked hard enough, they die. They're literally created, Robert. They're literally created to work hard. Like that is what keeps them living and looking forward to waking up was how hard they work. So moments like being able to treat my clients in the hall of Fame to a trip to Italy. Moments of being able to treat my team to a week and in the most beautiful place, and we get to call that work. Moments of seeing my kids on vacation and us being able to stay somewhere so special and knowing that we get to do that every year and not stress about it, knowing that I go to this retreat and there's a private chef and we don't have to think about our food. That is such a beautiful, attainable gift. And I just really feel so strongly that the version of me and the version of you that's gonna take you from where you are right now in your business, as you sit here, you think of a number. Like, if you close your eyes and don't do it if you're driving, but if you close your eyes, you're gonna think, what is the number I'm shooting for? What is the target I'm aiming for? Now double that, because you're probably being too safe in the first place. So now when you think about that new number, do you feel like the current version of you can get there? Or do you have to become someone different? You're probably gonna have to evolve a little bit. And one of the things you might have to evolve is your willingness to have fun and not put pressure 100% on yourself to get there. Just enjoy the ride for a minute. So there was this moment where just so anybody that knows me is, I'm an absolute chicken. Okay? Like, I am. Do not wanna do anything alone. I don't wanna go to eat alone. I don't wanna drive anywhere alone. I just don't want to be. I don't know. I kind of do like the car sometimes, but otherwise, I don't like being at A house alone. Like, I just don't want to be alone. And so it was at the end of the ski trip, and Kyle was like, hey, your mom's not back yet. I won't be able to go down the mountain with you one more time. So he was like, you're going to stay here? Are you going to go? I was like, am I about to go down this mountain by myself? I don't like going anywhere by myself. And it was the end of the day, too, which, for those of you that snowboard a lot at the end of the day on the, like, last rounds, you know, going up the gondola, like there's nobody else behind you, because it's ending like it's the last bit of gondola. And so I didn't. For a moment, I was about to let fear stop me, and I was like, no, this is. This is. I'm doing this for me. I was so uncomfortable. I went from the, you know, condo to the gondola, got on with this other couple from Australia, made best friends with them. I was like, so awkward. I was like, so, how are y' all doing? Like, I was just sitting there by myself. We talked. It was great. And then I got up on the slope, and it was 30 minutes of skiing down this mountain or snowboarding down this mountain all by myself. And I was thinking, if I fly off the edge of this mountain, no one's gonna know because everybody's off the mountain. I was like, there was this risk, but there was this thrill. And I got to the end of the mountain, and I was like, this has got to be like, some sort of drug. Is this dopamine high? I was on adrenaline high. I was like, wow, you just freaking did that. And I never would have been able to experience that feeling if I hadn't gotten out of my comfort zone. And the way that I got out of my comfort zone was just having fun. And so I realized in that moment how happy I felt. And again, it's like when I have these moments where I'm like, whoa, deep happiness, deep emotion. It's actually so contrasting that I realize how few and far between those moments are. And that that is what has triggered me to be like, whoa. What other things can we do that can elicit that, like, fun and thrill and just living life more often? And so, all joking aside, I block on my calendar now, and it's green because green is life. And it says live on my Google calendar. Like, what a crazy person. But what that is. And I'm like live, play basketball live. Go for a run in the park live. Plan a vacation, do something fun, right? Getting out there to actually have it happen, you know, when I was in Colorado, I saw this with my kids too, is. It's almost like default that when someone's struggling with something, our goal is to save them from it, you know? So like Parker, it was day one when we got in Colorado and I was holding his hand. He was all puffy and it's like a look a little like a little penguin. Like squash, squash, squash. Like walking down the snow. And he started slipping because it was slippery. And he was like, oh, no, it's slippery. And I was like, oh, my God. If my two year old is panicking because it's slippery on day one, I'm like, we are literally in snow and he's about to slide down a mountain. This is going to be a problem. So I was like, okay, Ashley, you're going to do it. We're going to push through it. So he's crying. I take him to the ski school and Miss Sophie, she's like, I've got him. We're going to be good. And he went away kicking and screaming. And I was like, am I a terrible mom right now? Nope. Because 10 minutes later he's like, whee. And he's like, going down the mountain. She's like, he is as happy as he's been. He's skiing by himself. I was like, look, I forced him out of his comfort zone. I was able to hold the discomfort of him being uncomfortable and look at the reward on the other side. I hadn't seen him that happy in a long time. We have got to start doing the thing that can actually allow our ads and our messaging and our stories to hit. And it's just living so that you actually have examples. There's so many people in there, they like copy somebody else's story or somebody else's analogy or someone else's message. It don't land right when it's not. You go experience stuff so that you can have those stories in your ads so you can have those examples, so you can make those analogies. And just remember that your business will not collapse when you step away, but your creativity does when you don't. I'll say it again. Your business does not collapse when you step away, but your creativity does when you don't. And so some of my best ads, they didn't come from sitting at a desk saying, it's time to run ads now. They came from walking, laughing, traveling Being present and getting out of my head and into my body. So Macy and I, we did a podcast the other day, and she was like, hey, you wanna record a podcast and then go ice skating? I was like, honestly, yes, this sounds like a great idea. And it's just like, how crazy was it that that was so foreign to me to do something fun? I was like, whoa, this is insane. And so that's why they do these studies about laughter and having fun. It says laughter lowers cortisol, increases oxygen, boosts creativity and bonding, and that teams that laugh together perform better, and creativity increases in relaxed states. So laughter is not a distraction from excess. It's actually a driver of it. And so it really helps me put in perspective for my team. I want us to have fun. I'm like, how can we go on a trip, just us, and just have some team bonding and literally just have a great time? So even in Costa Rica, I know I gave you that example of just being so present. That's what I want. I want to create an environment where my clients, where my team or my friends, where when we are together, they don't want to be distracted, and I'm in control of that. Their desire to say, this is so good. I can't miss a beat of it. A part of it that is on me. All right, so let's wrap this up with why fun makes you more money. So if you tie it directly to ads, when you are tired, playful, or. Sorry. When you are relaxed, playful and present, you communicate better. You show up with more energy and create better messaging, and you attract better clients. Don't you want to communicate better so that you can show up with more energy, create better messaging, and attract more clients? Remember, people do not just buy your strategy, your clothes, your offer. They buy your energy. And that energy, if it's depleted, is going to carry over. I'm like, I see so many people and they're, like, doing the work, but they're so exhausted. I'm like, I know why it's not working. And it's not the ads. It's not the method. It's not even the words. It's how you're delivering it. It's the energy behind it. And so this life you want to live, these moments you want to have, ads are the thing that creates that. Every woman in that room making $50 million, you best believe they're running ads and making a list of ads they want to run and talking about the strategy and their budget. One of them changed their. Paused their whole campaign and Changed everything while we were sitting there. They're running ads so that they can pull that future forward faster. Because ads are math. If you want more time, run some more ads. If you want more experiences, run some more ads. If you want more memories, run some more ads. Ads create the margin. It's not the other way around. But once you have the ads, give yourself some space so that you can create better ads. Right? So I want you to take a minute, and I just want you. You can pause the episode after you do this, but I want you to write down for a minute, and I want you to close your eyes and say, what does winning really look like? Like, for me, I'll never unsee my mom in that private plane holding my hand and smiling with tears in her eyes. I'll never forget the look of my son coming down that hill, being so proud that he skied and me being so happy that the last thing I was thinking about was how much this whole trip cost. I was like, oh, that was a chunk of money that just gave me core memories. My kids loved it. I got connected to them, more connected than before. And I was more connected than before because I was more disconnected than before. So I was so disconnected from work, I was leaving open loops. So I was able to be more present. My husband, my parents, and my kids were like, mommy, that was the best trip ever. And I'm like, how funny that I was so involved and so in there. No wonder I didn't check the slack. I didn't check the emails. I checked in on them. I checked in on me. I watched tv. Give yourself the space to actually create the thing you want to create so that it can actually be good. And just remember that you don't get your best ideas by working more. You get them by living more. So I want you to build a life that is so good that you don't want to miss a second of it. Because when your life is that good, your business will reflect it and your ads will finally sound like someone people want to listen to. You don't win by grinding harder. You win more by becoming someone who actually enjoys the life that you are building. So if you want to be able to pull that life forward more quickly, the best recommendation I can give you is click the link below this podcast, below this video, and get your platinum ticket to the Win with Paid Ads challenge. Let's climb on up that mountain together. And for me to show you exactly what you need to be findable for the people that are looking for you, that want to work for you. It is so possible. So click the link below and then go advertise your name, make it rain, and I'll see you on the next episode.