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Welcome to the Marketing Matters podcast for small business owners and entrepreneurs. How would you feel about trashing your marketing funnel by building something way better instead? In these episodes, you'll learn how you can build a marketing machine in your business so that you can become findable for the people who are already searching for what you and your business have to offer. Because the best Realtor, the best interior designer, the best boutique owner, influencer, or local service provider does not win. The best marketer wins. So if you're ready for more of the right people to find you and your business, it's time you become findable. Let's get started. Today we're going to talk about 10 things that I learned from having really like a 20 minute conversation with someone famous, someone very well known for what they do. So it was actually a husband and wife couple. They were so wonderful. So I'm going to share with you about this experience so that when an opportunity presents itself to you, you can quickly and confidently just show up as the version of you that you want to show up as. Because you just never know. If I learned anything from this weekend, it is you never know when an opportunity will present itself for a relationship that could be mutually beneficial when it comes to business or for a relationship that could be a connection relationship for you, somebody to say, hey, I actually know someone who could help you with this or for you to simply make an impact on someone, to impact their life, to impact their business that they like, think of you in the back of their mind for future opportunities. You just never know. And so I want to share with you. And what's so cool is I started making a list of all the things I learned from this very short conversation and I probably could create 30 things from just a 20 minute conversation. So I'm really excited to share this with you. Before I do, I want to invite you into a room where you can make a transformation and you can actually be a person that connects with other people, networks with other people, and you can become the person that people are like, hey, do you know someone for this? And they're, you're like, oh, actually, yes. I met this girl named Courtney at the Power of Paid Ad Summit and she xyz. I can't advocate enough for getting in the room because not only do you get value from what you learn in the room, you get value from who you become in the room and you get value from who you meet in the in the room. There's so much value for you when you put yourself in a room and just Like, I put myself in a room in Tennessee, north of Chattanooga for a happy hour. You just never know what doors can open. In fact, one of the doors that opened that I want to share with you is actually one of the speakers at the Power of Paid Ad Summit, and her name is Ernestine Morrison. Morrison. She found me from an ad from last summit, saw a picture with all these faces, didn't know anybody, messaged me and said, hey, can you tell me more about this event? Also, do you have all your speakers? I was like, oh, my gosh, I do, but let's talk about next year. And now she is a speaker. She is so powerful. She is a famous actress. She is absolutely incredible. Hundreds of thousands of followers. She's a very powerful, impressive, hard working, motivated, genuine, kind. Just figure, authority figure, honestly in the space. And we met because of an ad. Like, doors can open. Like, I didn't. I expected when. When you run ads for an event, you expect ticket sales, right? You don't expect friendships, you don't expect relationships, you don't expect partnerships. But that can all open for you when you open the door for paid advertising. And what I can't guarantee is, what I can't do is guarantee that you can have a best friend and a speaker and just all these other things happen the very first time you run ads. But what I can say is I wouldn't be surprised if it did, because doors can open, right? All right, so let's talk about a door that opened for me. And I want to share with you what I learned from this. This experience. Okay? So here, let me. Let me set the stage for you. So Kyle and I decided to actually say to our clients, to our businesses, that we were unavailable for a few days. And it was only two and a half days, like I said, I would be unavailable to my clients, starting basically when? Wednesday around noon. So two and a half days of just getting off the map. And I cannot tell you how good it was for my soul, for my heart, for my body, for my relationship, for my marriage, for everything. It is so common for us to just go, go, go. And especially for you, if you feel like you're on the verge of something really big. Like, do you. Do you feel like you're, like, really close to something? You feel like you're like, I'm working, I'm working, I'm working. And you're willing to put in the work. You're like, I'll go, I'll go, I'll sacrifice this, I'll sacrifice that. Well, sometimes what we sacrifice is our sanity and our happiness, and that's not worth it. And so I told this to some of my clients today when some of the ladies in my mastermind, when I was boxering them this morning, and I was like, I saw your name pop up on Boxer. And I was elated. Like, I was, like, jumping for joy. Like, I could not wait to just get to do this work, to talk marketing and advertising strategy with these women. And I want to feel like that every day. I want you to feel like that every day. And what I know is that you are the engine in your business. Like, you think of a car has an engine. You are the engine. And the engine works really well at the beginning, doesn't it? It's smooth, it's new, it can go, go, go. And then if you don't take care of it, it can break down, and it can burn out on the side of the road, and you never get to where you want to go. Or if you do, it's way later. It costs way more money. It's way more frustrating. And so you are the engine in your business, and you must take care of you. And I have struggled with feeling guilt for taking care of myself. Okay, I've struggled with. It actually was hard for me. You want to know something? You want to know something really honest? I sent a message to my clients that said I was going to be out of office, and I sent it to myself six or seven different times before I sent it to them, because I was trying to communicate, Hey, I love y'all so much. I'm so grateful for you. This is the work I was called to do, and I've got to disappear. And I struggled with, like, how to communicate that. And as women, I feel like we want to serve everybody else first, right? As moms, as women, we are a put others first kind of people, which is so admirable about us and who we are. And it's just innate in our nature to care for other people. And we hear it all the time. But do we really believe that you can't pour from an empty cup? Do we actually believe that? I do. I really believe I cannot pour from an empty cup. And so me pouring into myself, my body, my soul, my spirit, my husband, it was the best thing. And we just came back with more energy, literally, scientifically, more energy, because I got over nine hours of sleep, two of those three or four nights, which was just game changer. It's actually one of the things I'm working on anyway. I'm going to talk to you about these few things I learned. But if there's a takeaway period, it's take care of yourself and don't feel guilty about it because you work too hard. And at the end of the day, I've said this before. I'll say it forever. You can have so much success in your business. You can be killing it. You can hit your goals, and at the end of the day, if you go home without the ones that you love, it doesn't matter, right? It's like, you can change the world, but if you go home and you don't have the person that you can lean on to, that's really hard. And so I am doing my absolute best to be the best business owner. I'm working on things to even be a better mom. I texted one of my friends in business who is, like, so successful, and I was like, you are killing it in the mom game too. Please help me. And so I'm making some changes in my mom routine. I'm constantly looking to get better as a wife, as a woman woman, as a business owner. And so you got to take care of yourself, because you can't take care of everybody as good as you could if you would just take care of you. Okay. All right, so let's talk about these 10 things that I learned. So the first one is, you know, my coaches always talk about, like, getting ready, and so I have, like, started getting ready just about every day. I'm gonna be honest. There are days it is Sunday, and me and the kids stay in our pajamas. I'm just not gonna lie. I brush my teeth, I put on deodorant, but I stay in the same clothes, and I love it. And that's, like, a Sunday thing for me, if I'm being honest. We watch church from home sometimes. It's when we actually have the kids and we watch church from home. It's like church from home means I'm going to be in my PJs. Now. There's days we go into church, and I love that, and I want to do that more. It's actually something I'm going to work on as a mom, is getting the kids together and us all going to church. But with hunting season, Kyle sometimes goes hunting in the morning, and so I'll be home, and I'm like, let's just watch from home. And so I don't get ready, but I have done a better job of actually getting ready. And there have been a few moments now where I'm like, thank God I Was dressed. Thank God I put myself together because you get in a room and you're like, oh, my God, this is my moment. And I just remember almost wearing leggings to, like, leggings and a sweatshirt to this happy hour. And I am so grateful that I, like, put makeup on, put my hair up, put little cute jeans on. Now I actually had an insecurity about my nails, and I wished I had gotten my nails done before we went on the trip, because when I am alone with Kyle for four days, like, you know what I'm saying? I want to look fabulous in every way. Okay. Anybody else? And so it was the only thing I didn't have time for before we left. And I wished I had, because I was talking. I was holding a drink that had, like, soda water and lime. I like. Anyway, we'll get there. But I was holding this drink, and I wanted. Like, my nails were showing, and I was like, I don't want to build even a moment's worth of distrust that this woman has ratchet nails and she's telling me things for my business. Like, I wanted to be trustworthy, and it ended up working out. So I don't think he noticed the nails. Thank God. They or she. It was a husband and wife duo. I don't think either of them cared about the nails. But, like, I did. And I want to offer the most, like, focused version of me who's not insecure about other areas of me. And so me getting my nails done and me putting on lipstick or me putting jewelry on and you doing the same thing and just positions yourself for just being able to be 100% focused on someone else, not the insecurities you have about you. And so I, number one, was just really glad that I got dressed, and I wished I had my nails done. But it's just like, that reminder that you just literally never know when an opportunity could open, open its door, open, open up. And, you know, honestly, there's times you may feel inspired. You're like, oh, I want to go record something. And then you're like, ooh, I look terrible. And so you don't go record it. And that's yet another reason why I am just such a believer. And get ready that way, when I. When you're always ready. Hey, when you're always ready, you're always ready, literally, for anything. So that's thing number one. Thing number two, I haven't talked much about this, and, I mean, you know, I've struggled with a little bit of, like, insecurity around sharing this. But I have decided to take a little bit of a break from alcohol now. I got married at a vineyard. I loved wine. I, I mean, I just. Big fan. Okay. And I did a little bit of reading and I thought, I'll be honest with you. I read this book, it's called this Naked Mind. And it like, really helped me think a little bit differently about alcohol than I had before. And so I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna go 90 days without it. And so I'm on day 72 today as we speak, and I'm alive, I've survived, and it's actually been good. I, I feel the best that I felt. I feel less bloated, I'm sleeping better. And the whole reason I'm telling you this is actually because I, I, when I, when this conversation happened and I like started talking to the owners, Tori and Seth, and. Oh, I didn't even tell you. Okay, so Tori and Seth bolt. They are just incredible married couple and they own Bolt Farm. Well, Seth is in the band need to Breathe. So go look up need to Breathe. I'm sure you would have heard some of these songs. And so that's why I'm saying he's like famous in this band and they're a great couple. They were so sweet. They just came in and just shared their gratitude for like, us all being there. Gave us an opportunity to like, rebook with a little bit of a discount. Like, it was really, really cool. And so I just really loved getting to meet them. And so that's what, you know, what they do. So I was so glad that the next day when I thought about that conversation because do you ever, like, have a conversation with someone and you think about it and you're like, oh my God, did I say something bad? I had no conversation regret. I had no conversation wonder. I just was straight up so thankful that I had not drank. I was like, wow, I actually feel great. I actually don't wonder if I slurred. I don't wonder if I stuttered. I didn't wonder if I over talked or overshield. I actually remembered every living, breathing piece of it and had no regret. And if I had had that regret with a conversation like that, I would have like, thought about it for months. I'm not kidding you. Like, it's so. Have you ever had that I need someone and one of you tell me, tell me I'm not crazy. Like, like, you wondered the conversation or you misremember. And I just didn't have that because I was completely sober, and so I had a glass. Like, I'll tell you, I have to have a glass and put something in it so that nobody knows because I don't want to talk about it. Because here's the thing. If you want to have a whiskey and coke, by all means, please do. I will. Cheers you. Let's go. I love wine, you know, it's great. I'm choosing not to drink it. It says nothing about what I think about you doing it. So that's why I haven't shared it, honestly, because I'm like, I don't want someone to be like, well, why? And I'm like, I just. I'm not judging. I just want to have my water for now, because I'm feeling better. It's taking care of me, and I don't have less regret. Okay? I just feel like you will never regret taking care of your body, ever. Or your brain or your heart, your lungs. I just feel like you will never say, God, I wish I had, like, treated my body more poorly, you know? So there's that one. Alcohol number three. I actually felt like I belonged in the conversation. And I. I mean, it's crazy how things have changed in. In what feels like a short period of time, but when you start to surround yourself with people who accomplish big things and have big dreams, you actually start to accomplish big things, including your dreams, and you actually become just a completely different person. And I have become someone that does not feel intimidated by someone else's success. I actually feel encouraged and inspired by it. There was a. There was a time where I would look on social media, I would see people winning, and I would have, like, a little bit of jealousy. And maybe you felt that, you're like, God, I know I can do it. And although what I have accomplished is so teeny in comparison to what they have created and built, and even though it's so small and they are a hundred times ahead of me, I felt like I belonged in the conversation. I felt like I could add value. And the way I added value was by being curious, which is the next one. And I want to say one more thing about that sense of belonging. So a year ago, I would have been antsy, I would have stuttered. I would have maybe over talked or under talked. I wouldn't have known what to say. Got. You know, I would have got caught up on my words. And I just want to remind you that when you put yourself in rooms with people that are a few steps ahead or if you ever feel like you're behind freaking good. I want to be the lowest on the totem pole. I want to be in a room. I want you to be in a room with people that have accomplished 10 times more than you, that are 10 times more ahead. Great news for you. You're going to learn a lot. Like if they are way better, they've accomplished things, they figured something out, amazing. They're just going to tell you everything that they've done and learn and you're going to get to learn from them and compress time. I want to be the lowest on the totem pole and I want to ask all the questions. And boy, if I did not, I was like, okay, I've got the owner of this place here. I have questions because it's like so well done. This place is immaculate. And I'm like, okay, you built something huge. So I started asking questions. But I just want to remind you that sometimes you think you're paying to put yourself in a room to learn a specific skill. And although you'll walk away with that specific skill, what you'll also walk away with is a new identity, new relationships, new thoughts. And those new thoughts are the thing that take you to where you want to be. You know, when I think about the power of paid ad summit, I'll never forget seeing Macy. She was in the back of the which is my coach. She was sitting in the back of the room at Myron Golden's event and she was taking notes. I was like, what are you taking notes on? What message are you taking notes on? She's like, oh, I'm just like taking notes for the event. I just want to like see how this is going flowing. I'm like, brilliant, brilliant. She's putting herself in there. Not just to learn, not just because she was a speaker as well. She's actually saying, I want to take inventory of this whole machine, this whole system. How do people talk, walk, think, act, carry themselves? I watched a guy who had a five million dollar date, talked with him after, gosh, if you don't think I'm going to the most successful person, I don't care where I stand. I do not care and I don't want you to. There is no barrier. So what if you haven't accomplished? You don't have to justify that. All you have to do is go up to them and be curious. Talk about a payoff. The women you could meet at the power of pay dad summit. Don't get me started. The thing that I want for you is to develop that sense of belonging and the only way to feel like you belong in a conversation is to put yourself in a conversation or in a room that's uncomfortable, where you actually feel like you are the most behind. Number four. Curiosity wins. You're not in control of the conversation if you're the one talking the most. You are the. In the. In control of the conversation if you're the one asking the questions. I asked so many questions of Tori and Seth. They were wonderful. And every time I asked a question, I got an answer. And I learned something about them. I learned something about how they think. I learned something about their strategy, their approach to growing Bolt Farm. Go look up Bolt Farm. Absolutely stunning. And I feel about Bolt Farm like I do any vacation, any event, anything I do or go to. What I'm trying to do is develop the habit of only doing things that are worth it. Like, if I'm gonna go to an event, I'm not gonna go to a $37 event. I'm gonna go to the best event. If I'm gonna go on vacation, I'm gonna go on the best vacation. If I'm going to invest in a course, I'm going to invest in the best course. And so what I found is when you buy cheap, you buy again. And so that's not what I'm doing anymore, because I want to make sure that if I am going to spend my time or money on it, no matter if it's $2, $2,000, $20,000, $200,000, $2,000,000, no matter what it is, I want to make sure that it's worth it so that I don't have to buy it again, because that takes time, energy, and stress. And so I just asked a bunch of questions, and I. I promise you this. I. I was trying to act natural because I got so excited. I was. I was like, be cool. Be cool, Ashley. Be cool. Because at the end, he was like, hey, so I actually have a question for y'all. I was like, oh, my God. He wants to ask us questions. I love this. So it was really cool. And he actually asked us a few questions about a project that he's working on for the business. And, like, we're his ideal clients or customers for that aspect of the business. And so he actually felt confident enough to actually ask for our opinion. And he said something, and it just made my heart so happy. He said, wow, I really thought I had thought of everything. As I lay this out, I'm so, like, this is really good. These are two things I hadn't thought of wow. And that is why, that is why you get in the room with people who are doing something better than you are or different than you are or more successful than you are. Because next thing you know you have a quick little conversation and you walk away with an idea for your business. Brilliant. He walk away like boom, I got an idea. I gave him a lot of thoughts because I'm his ideal customer or client. And so getting in the room with hundreds or even just a few, I mean this was a table of four. It was me and Kyle and another couple that we had met. He got to talk to four of his most ideal clients and get feedback. Could you imagine getting a room where there are hundreds of your ideal clients and getting feedback? So good curiosity wins. Number five. They run ads. Yep, they do. They've grown their business. And do you know why? Because they advertise. Advertise. Don't lies. That does not rhyme all the way. But you get the point. They advertise. They. I know for certain they do Google Ads and social media ads because I've seen both. Who knows if they have tick tock ads and, and YouTube ads probably. That's what I'm talking about. They don't just put all their eggs in one basket. That is why in my opinion what I offer is different and unique is because so many people will teach you one thing, but they all actually work together like, like a well oiled machine. That's why it's called a marketing machine. There's so many different pieces to it to help more people find you. So it was just really cool because I know that they value and prioritize advertising and marketing. And so seeing like the fact that he asked everybody in the room like who had been here before and me and Kyle were the only ones, I was like, wow, this is new customer acquisition. Their ads are getting people who've never heard of them to find them and actually book. Brilliant. The other piece was money things. Like it was so cool because we always say that you see on the outside and you think you know someone's story and we all know that we don't. We'd like to tell ourselves that it was hard for them and it's actually 99.9% of the time true. Most people just don't wake up, do one thing. It works. They're just rich overnight. No hard work just so happens to be great. Everything's perfect. That's not normal and it's not the truth. And so it was like really humbling and really nice for to Hear that? He shared, like, a few instances with us where he was like, yeah, you know, have a plan before you buy the property. Because then you. We have the property, you have to pay taxes, and it can take a while to get things going. So then you're just having this property paying taxes. And I was like, that's such a specific detail that really matters. I'm like, wow, that's a. Hey, I've been there. I've learned this. If you want to do something like this, learn from this person. And so it was just cool that he and his wife, as a team, they are just. They were both in on the mission of, like, putting the investment. Like, they bought the property before they had a single booking, right? You buy the property, you make the investment. And they didn't just do, like, a light investment. Like, I have to go back and look at the property records. But I'm pretty sure they spent multiple six figures, if not more than that, on this piece of property. And so sometimes I hear the women I work with, because our. Our brains are conditioned on. On saying, like, what is or is not a lot of money? Like, we. We actually tell ourselves a story on what is and is not a lot of money, you know, and so I had told my. Myself my whole life that $50 was a lot of money. And that held me back so much. It really did. And like, what you tell yourself, like, right now in this moment, what is a lot of money to you? What's your gut say? What does your gut say? Does it say $50, $100? A thousand dollars, $100,000? Whatever it is, you have made that up. And that is a story that you have decided to tell yourself is what is a lot of money. And I just want to. Want you to consider, like, how you're like, your brain up here. It is the thing that will block you from going somewhere. So if you say, oh, I've already spent $10,000 on my business, oh, my gosh, like, I have to give up and stop. Like, I just want you to know that in my opinion, that's not. That's. That's not a lot of money. And so it's okay that you've invested this money in your business because that's normal. It is most. I. I mean, drive down a single business in your town, a single one where someone didn't have to pay money and buy a piece of real estate or buy an office or buy a software or buy a tool before, or even pay for a ton of marketing, a ton of advertising. A ton of brand people have to take tens of or hundreds or even millions of dollars. I look at storage units, I'm like, wow, someone had to pay, like, 5 million to build that before a single storage unit was sold. They just, like, believe so much that it would pay off in the long term. And I think we've. The women that I work with that really, when they just, like, know investing is part of their. Their business, and they just know it, and they know it'll be uncomfortable, they know it's not guaranteed, they know it'll be painful, and they just believe wholeheartedly that they will do anything to like, make that happen. And when I hear, oh, gosh, I've already spent 2000 here and 5000 here, I know it's uncomfortable. I know it's hard. Trust me, I threw up at a 3, 900 investment. I know. And I know that the beliefs that I had about money were one of the biggest things holding me back. So I want to encourage you to just consider a new way to think about it. Okay, Last few things is time. Time flies when you're having fun. We shut down the happy hour, and I felt like I just blinked, and I just realized how much I love being trapped in a room with entrepreneurs. Like, I literally said, hey, I'm gonna stop talking now, because I could ask you 300 more questions because I'm so curious. I'm so intrigued. And so that is why time flies when you put yourself in an environment where you're learning and where you're getting to connect and network and ask questions and get feedback. And that's also why the Power of Paid Ad Summit was created. But whether you come to that event or any event, I just want you make sure that at some point throughout the year, you're putting yourself in rooms where you are in rooms with people that challenge you, that have done different things. Because time flies, and it is just so invaluable because it actually compresses time. He likely has this idea that of this thing he's going to launch at some point, and he was probably wondering, like, what else could add to this, you know, thing to be valuable. And now he doesn't have to wonder it actually that 20 minutes might have saved him two hours, three hour, two days of, like, thinking on, like, little adjustments that he could make to his. His. The thing that him and his wife are working so hard to build. A number eight. You just never regret investing in anything. Okay? You don't regress investing in your body and your relationship and your business. And you, I just believe that you don't. You like, I mean, tell me if I'm wrong, but have you ever said, gosh, I wish I took worse care of my body? Gosh, I wish I did not care so much about this business and invest so much in this business. You know, I have worked really hard, with Jill's help to invest in my body this year because I believe that you cannot build your empire on a body that is lethargic, tired, lazy, and just. Just not doing well. Like, it is your system, it is your engine. If you. It's like having a brand new car that needs the premium oil instead of putting premium. You, like, cross your head when nobody's looking and you put in regular and you only put like a little bit in. And you never wash the car, change the oil, change the tires. You're just like, can I. How low can I go? How like, this is not limbo. This is your body. This is not. Let's cut corners here. It is your body, the energy. And so I have really focused on taking care of my body. And then this weekend, I worked on taking care of my relationships. And I just want to encourage you. You think that taking time for your body is taking away for time for your business, but really it's giving you the time and energy you need to compress time in your business. I promise you. So taking care of your relationship, body and all these things, it all works together. To me, it is no surprise that one of the best years I've had in business is one of the best years that I've taken care of my body. And it's the same thing for you, too. So take the time to put yourself in rooms, Take care of your body, mind and soul. All right? The last two things is treat your customers well. Gosh, they. Seth and Tory Bolt. The way they've created Bolt Farm to just think of every detail, every luxury, it's just those little things. Like, they could have gone cheap on, like, a hundred different things and they chose not to. And like, I noticed, and everyone does, which is why people come there and it was fully booked. Like the little things matter and just take care of your people well. And so that is something that I have worked so hard to do in my business. And I want to encourage you to do the same. Don't cut the corners, pay for the nicer thing. You never regret taking care of your people. And it also makes your business so referable. I mean, I made a real. They did not pay me to make that real. I was so inspired and thankful for my experience that these entrepreneurs had created that I decided on my own accord to make a video. People like, are you advertising for them? I'm like, I wish they would come to my mastermind. I would audit that account. Ooh. So anyway, I. I want you to have something that's so referable that people want to share about it without even getting paid. And the last thing is pay people to save you time and money. Seth and Tori are like hosting this thing where they're teaching other people how to invest in property like they did. And I'm like, yeah, that's a no brainer. Like, you can either try to figure out how to invest in a property, how do you pick the right one? When do you make these moves? Or you can pay someone for their expertise and time and it saves you frustration and actually makes you money sooner. And I'm just a big advocate of that because obviously that's my business. It's how I've grown. My business is investing in people to save me time and money. And it's just to no surprise that they're offering it too. And it's just such a different industry, but it's the same thing. You have something and someone else has something that you can get value from. And so being willing to trade your money for that expertise and time is so valuable. All right, I hope this was helpful. One of the next episodes I'm going to have coming up is how you can make good ads. So if you're like, how would I make a good ad? What goes into it? Even if you have a product, business, service based business, you are who this next episode is created for. So I can't wait to see you. And don't forget, get your ticket to the Power of Paid Ad Summit as I record this right now, tickets are very limited on the VIP section and our sponsorships are actually sold out. But there still is a way that your business can get exposure to the hundreds of women when you get a platinum VIP ticket. So click the link below. I will see you at the Power of Paid Ad Summit and I'll also see you on the next episode where we will talk about how to make a good ad.