#84: The Hardest Parts of Running Businesses in Our Marriage

Summary

Win With Paid Ads, Ep. 84: The Hardest Parts of Running Businesses in Our Marriage

Host: Ashley Brock
Guest: Kyle Brock (Ashley’s Husband)
Date: September 4, 2025

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Overview

In this honest, behind-the-scenes episode, Ashley invites her husband Kyle onto the podcast to discuss the realities and toughest parts of running businesses as a married couple. They candidly share their journey from broke college students to successful business owners, exploring money struggles, evolving roles, emotional growth, and how building businesses has affected their relationship and family life. Their conversation is relatable, humorous, and packed with hard-earned insights.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How They Met & Early Relationship Dynamics

• College Basketball & First Impressions ([01:28]-[03:23])

  • Met playing basketball in college; Ashley jokes about being the better player.
  • Early dates involved humble offerings like PB&J and (rock-hard) biscuits.
  • Fun, playful chemistry, with a focus on family values.

• Financial Struggles & Contracts ([03:59]-[08:33])

  • Both started their relationship with little money and debt.
  • Ashley helped Kyle pay off debt but made him sign a contract (with interest!).
  • Story illustrates their practical approach and the importance of clear agreements.

  Quote:
  "I'll pay off your debt, but we're going to write a contract, and I want interest, baby."
  —Ashley ([04:51])

2. Money Tension and Frugal Beginnings

• Extreme Budgeting ([10:43]-[13:07])

  • Early jobs paid ~$30-36k/year; they lived together due to financial need.
  • Intense focus on saving, including couponing and fighting over $3 guac at Chipotle.
  • Money stress was a central source of conflict.

  Quote:
  "I remember getting so mad at him because he paid $3 to put guacamole on my Chipotle bowl. And I was like, I did not want that. That was $3."
  —Ashley ([11:42])

  • Humor about Ashley’s “crazy couponing” and embarrassing Kyle at the grocery.
  • Both agree: financial stress tested their relationship—but also built their resourcefulness.

3. Growth, Therapy, and Evolving Expectations

• “You Marry Two People” ([13:07]-[13:54])

  • Acknowledgement that people change after the wedding, and marriage is about growing together.
  • Recap of nine years of marriage, plus four years of dating, highlighting change and growth.

• Therapy and Emotional Intelligence ([13:54]-[14:25], [26:41]-[27:24])

  • They went to therapy at a pivotal point in their marriage; Kyle has continued weekly therapy.
  • Both have become more emotionally aware and communicative.

  Quote:
  "You come into a marriage with expectations ... If you get blindsided with the ‘holy crap, this is not what I expected,’ it's either going to cause a fight, divorce, or a deep conversation. And that's what we decided to do."
  —Kyle ([17:41])

• Role Reversal and Identity ([15:46]-[18:56])

  • Initially, Kyle’s career was the focus; once his insurance agency was stable, Ashley started her business—which grew rapidly and became the family’s primary focus.
  • Kyle opens up about grieving the loss of a “traditional” family role and feeling the need to adapt as Ashley’s business soared and she "out-earns" him.

4. Balancing Parenting, Business, and Guilt

• Delegating and Family Time ([18:56]-[22:47])

  • Ashley shares her struggle to juggle motherhood and business growth, including guilt about missing time with kids.
  • Practical solutions: delegating, creating “no phone zones,” and regular family routines.
  • Both stress that sacrifice and communication are ongoing necessities.

  Quote:
  "There's no person that has an eight-figure business that did it in two years, that didn't have to make some huge sacrifices and stress."
  —Ashley ([21:25])

• Challenges of Non-traditional Roles

  • Kyle handles more morning parenting; they have help to get kids up.
  • Adjusting expectations and resisting comparison to more traditional families.
  • Ongoing dialogue about time management and presence with the children.

5. Business Ownership: Freedom and Resentment

• Time vs. Money—What Motivates Each? ([24:39]-[26:03])

  • Kyle says his business goal was flexibility and time for golf, hunting, and family.
  • Admits occasional guilt when Ashley works long hours and he pursues leisure.
  • Ashley confesses resentment, knowing that she’s working to eventually “buy back her time.”

  Quote:
  "I think I was honestly just resentful because ... I'm working so hard ... and, like, he did the whole point of why we start a business so that he could have that time. And I think I was a little resentful that I couldn't be there already."
  —Ashley ([26:03])

• Self-awareness as a Relationship Tool ([26:21]-[26:56])

  • Therapy (“Dr. Phil”) has helped Kyle articulate feelings; both partners practice self-awareness and respectful communication.
  • Frequent, honest check-ins and knowing when to “take five” during heated moments.

6. Recurring Arguments & Lasting Priorities

• The Biggest Recurring Argument ([28:10]-[29:22])

  • It’s about time: How much they spend with kids and presence as parents.
  • Kyle’s top priority is making sure the kids feel their mom’s presence, not just “know” her.

  Quote:
  "I don't want to get to the point ... we have a net worth of $100 million, and my kids don't want to hang out with me. I would rather ... have the kids."
  —Kyle ([29:15])

• Money Can’t Buy Time ([29:22]-[30:10])

  • Both believe time with kids is more valuable than money, and are consciously designing their lives to balance both.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Hilarious & Heartfelt:

• “She charged me interest, too. … I'm like, is this how it's gonna be?” —Kyle ([04:57])
• “Just look at him, he's hot. The car, I just — I barely saw it.” —Ashley ([06:57])
• “She would have an envelope full of coupons ... stand there for 15 minutes ... I’d already go start loading the groceries in the car, like, ‘this is ridiculous.’” —Kyle ([12:03])

Deepest Insights:

• “You marry two people: the person you marry at the altar, and the person they become.” —Ashley ([13:07])
• “It came to a point where I had to grieve the loss of not having a traditional role family. Probably ego and pride takes a little bit of hit.” —Kyle ([16:39])
• “You can't buy your historical time back. That ain't gonna happen ... I don't want to give that up.” —Kyle ([30:10])
• “How can we have both? How can we be great parents, have great relationship and help a bunch of people?” —Ashley ([30:18])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:28] – Story of how they met, basketball banter.
• [03:59] – Early money issues and debt contracts.
• [10:43] – Low-income beginnings, first jobs.
• [11:42] – Guacamole fight, money stress.
• [12:21] – Extreme couponing stories.
• [13:54] – Therapy enters the picture.
• [15:46] – Shifting business roles and expectations.
• [17:41] – Confronting nontraditional gender roles.
• [18:56] – Parenting struggles and delegation at home.
• [22:47] – The toll (and rewards) of business growth.
• [24:39] – Real discussion about time, freedom, resentment.
• [26:41] – Therapy’s impact and communication skills.
• [28:10] – Recurring arguments: The importance of time with kids.
• [29:22] – Closing thoughts on money and what really matters.

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Tone & Language

The tone is casual, humorous, heartfelt, and deeply genuine. Both Ashley and Kyle are candid about their past mistakes and vulnerabilities, frequently joking about themselves and each other. The language is warm, conversational, and relatable—never preachy.

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Summary Takeaway

This episode offers a rare, unfiltered look at how the realities of entrepreneurship impact marriage and family. Ashley and Kyle’s willingness to share their messy financial history, evolving roles, therapy journey, and emotional challenges makes for an engaging and highly relatable listen. It’s a reminder that behind every “picture-perfect” business owner is a whole lot of hard work, uncomfortable conversations, and growth—both personal and professional.

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For entrepreneurial couples (or anyone juggling business and family), this episode is a must-listen for its honesty, humor, and practical insights about partnership, growth, and the things money can’t buy.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to the Win with Paid Ads podcast for small business owners, entrepreneurs, and really anyone who has anything you want more people to find. Whether you're starting from ground zero or scaling an eight figure business, you are exactly who this podcast was created for. Because you being the best kept secret helps no one. Right? That's why in every episode, I'll show you how you can use paid ads to hit your goals 10 times sooner. It's time you finally learn how to win with paid ads. You or someone, someone on your team can do this. I'll show you how to score and be known by more. Let's get started. Today you're getting to meet someone that I know very well. It's my husband. Kyle's here. So he and I are going to talk about some relationship stuff because I feel like there's. There was actually someone at the event that we hosted last week for some of our clients. And one of the questions was. Or she was like, hey, like, how are you two and your relationship doing in relation to how, like, the business has changed and, and there's just been so much that has happened. And I think from the outside it's. It's very easy to be like, everything is 100% perfect and we are real humans and we absolutely have challenges. We have things we're overcoming together and we are not perfect. But I thought it would be really cool for us to just have an honest conversation about how things are going since the business has started rocking and rolling. And you own a business too.

[B]

Yeah. It's a lot.

[A]

So tell, Tell everybody about. I think we should start with how we met and then I think I want them to hear like, what your business is like and kind of where were we when we first got together?

[B]

Yep. You want me to take that part?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. So we met playing basketball and it was in college and we were. Oh, God. I was probably junior. She was freshman, and I just broken up with a girl. And so she showed up to a basketball game and then I thought she was hot. We had a little court chemistry. I did a little behind the back.

[A]

Pass and reverse layup, slow eye turn. We were like, oh, yeah.

[B]

And that was pretty much it. Well, she was dating somebody at the time, but I took her on a date, I convinced her, and then the rest is history. We met on the basketball court. So it's pretty cool. Now we never get to play anymore because I'm getting old, my knees hurt.

[A]

I know. We do have to play more.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

God. Because I really actually am the better basketball Player. Which is really cool. I really am. He knows it. Like, I beat you in horse every time we play.

[B]

That's not true.

[A]

Okay, it is. Anyway, so we met and we met on the basketball court. Then you were like, I don't know if you remember this, but you were like, I make a really good peanut butter and jelly.

[B]

And you like, I do remember that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I do. I still do.

[A]

You do. And so we had a peanut butter jelly. And then he was like, hey, you want to go to church? And I was like, oh, God, he's hot.

[B]

I made her biscuits.

[A]

He made me rocks that were supposed to be biscuits. But yeah, yeah. He forgot to use self rising flour at the beginning. But it was like the effort that counted. Like it. You made a whole dinner for me. And that. What was that? What do you call a house that has the two parts to it?

[B]

Duplex.

[A]

It was a duplex. So he was like, hey, me and my mom live here. And he took me over and I was like, I'm gonna make a romantic dinner.

[B]

So hot.

[A]

It was. I was like, this is the dream. Like, he is making these biscuits. I'm gonna eat it. Even though it's hard as a rock. It's gonna be so good. So anyway, I did not marry him for his biscuit skills, but I did like, love. We had so much fun together. We loved playing basketball. You loved your family so much. That was super important to me. And so here we are.

[B]

Yeah. Then I somehow graduated after almost five years of college and nearly not making it. Yeah, that was fun.

[A]

So we. We both helped each other with things we were bad at. It was really cool. So I wasn't working and he wasn't using his brilliant brain. So let me. Let me explain. So basically, he was salutatorian of his high school. The guy has photographic memory. Okay. And he was like making some B's on some stuff. And I'm like, you're the smartest person ever. And essentially, I think we did this trade. He's like, well, you need to work. And I was like, okay. So I went and got a job and he. He went and got an A's on, like, all the stuff that he did. Like your. Your GPA was like. Because you're.

[B]

Oh, yeah, it went up for sure. I mean, I didn't. I mean, at one point I was down to like a. I don't know, two point, whatever almost got you kicked out of school. And it was not good. And so between that and partying a little bit.

[A]

A little bit.

[B]

I got it up. A lot of it.

[A]

Yeah. College. So your parents, like. I feel like your mom had this agreement with you, and it was like, if you make a certain grade, she'll pay for your college. But then you didn't because it was a little bit of party time. And so then you. That's why we had, like, some debt at the beginning of our relationship, right?

[B]

Yeah. I don't remember exactly, but it was something like that. And I definitely carried some debt into my working years where I was not making a lot of money, but. And then I really couldn't pay it, which is also a funny story. I actually went to Ashley and I was like, oh, my God, I'm in trouble. Like, I'm in money trouble. This isn't good. I mean, relatively speaking. It was a lot at the time. And she was like, here's the deal. I'll pay it off. I'll pay off your debt, but we're.

[A]

Going to write a contract, and I want interest, baby.

[B]

Yeah. And then. And then. Oh, my God. You charged me interest, too.

[A]

I did.

[B]

So we write this contract. It was like, at the time, I was, like, kind of desperate, but also like, is this how it's going to be? I don't know. So what I had to do was I literally. My. My lease was over at my apartment where I was living, ended the lease, moved in with her parents, and then saved all that rent money where I was renting, paid her back plus interest. And, yeah, that's how the relationship kind.

[A]

Of, you know, it is because I.

[B]

Was like, let it borrow the foundation.

[A]

It really was because we found this. It was like, a $3,500 car on Facebook, Marketplace. It was a friend of mine's mom. And I was like, oh, my gosh, it's 3,500. I have, like, 3,700 or something in my savings. I was like, I'll let him borrow it and pay me interest, but write a contract. Cause we didn't have any money. Cause when we first met, what I did.

[B]

Oh, but you paid off my credit card, too.

[A]

That was a whole. Okay, so we have to talk about this. So you. You. When I met him, he was in a Dodge Neon, okay, that barely worked.

[B]

Engine blew up.

[A]

It had, like 400,000 miles on it. I was like, how is this thing still operational? So I always joke with his mom.

[B]

I'm like, that is the ugliest car that's ever been created.

[A]

Ugliest car. But I felt so hot. I'm like, he's on the football team, though. And I'm like, I'm in the car, and the Dodge Neon, like, has sounds when you drive it.

[B]

So I have, like, identity crisis. Like, I don't know if I'm, like, the. The jock athlete, the redneck who goes fishing and hunting and. And. Or the hippie dude, whatever. It just depends on what kind of mood I'm in.

[A]

It's true.

[B]

At the time, I was, like, in, like, this weird fishing and hunting thing. I used to literally strap a john boat on top of a Dodge net. Go look up a Dodge Neon right now. If you haven't seen them, they're tiny little cars that are ugly. They're really ugly. I strapped a john boat on top of it with ratchet straps, and I went fishing with it. Literally would get to the pond or the lake and would, like, rip it off the top of the john or the John Deere. God, look at me. Ripped it off the top of the Dodge Neon, threw it in the lake, and paddled around fishing. That was where I was in life.

[A]

And I. Where I was in life as I was like, well, he's hardworking. Even though his car barely works. Like, I just won't look at the car. I'll just look at him. Like, if I get distracted, I'll be like, okay, just look at him. He's hot. The car, I just. I, like, barely saw it. And so you had. I saw your work ethic. So you were on the football team, and you worked before and after work. And I thought it was so hot because he was like, hey, I work at the dining hall.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that's so hot.

[A]

He was like, come have lunch with me, and I'll, like, flip two omelets at once. I'm like, no way.

[B]

Watch these skills, baby.

[A]

Watch these skills. There's, like, a line at the almond. The. The, like, omelette line. I'm like, dang. Like, people, people. I did. So anyway, we start dating. We play basketball a good bit. And then you did move in with my parents, because you got it. We both went to a cruise because.

[B]

I was broke, right?

[A]

And remember. Do you remember? We wrote another contract. I think I wrote a lot of contracts with you. Do you remember? It was like, hey, if you're gonna.

[B]

Get engaged, we're in a contract marriage kind of.

[A]

No, not all the way. But what we did do is I was like, hey, if my parents are gonna let you stay here for free, then use the money to pay off all this debt and, like, start a ring fund at $50 a month so that we Can.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Do you remember?

[B]

Oh, my God. I don't remember that part, but did you really?

[A]

I made you write a ring. I was like, if my mom said that, you won't have to pay any bills, But I was like, you have to pay off. Cause you remember, you stayed at that one apartment for six months, and then it was like, hey, take the money you were paying for the apartment and use that to. To, like, save in your savings account. I basically, like, made you save money or something.

[B]

When I was working. Yeah, I lived there for a year.

[A]

Wow. That's right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So anyway, we had a lot of situations where it was like, let's pay off some of the debt.

[B]

It was bad. I've never been. Well, at the time, I was not good with money. So.

[A]

Yeah, we're better now.

[B]

It's gotten better.

[A]

It has gotten a lot.

[B]

It's got a lot better.

[A]

Yeah. Because could you tell everybody a little bit, like, how you grew up? Like, I remember the one thing that stood out to me was you. He had never been on an airplane until we had met.

[B]

No.

[A]

That was crazy to me.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, in a lot of respects, like, life was good in that both parents, loving parents, you know, they were good people. Dad was a pastor of a church. Mom worked full time for a nonprofit called Habitat for Humanity, which a lot of people have heard of, but she worked full time. And we lived in the middle of absolutely nowhere in South Georgia, and wasn't a lot of money in the household, but everybody loved each other, which was cool, but didn't grow up with much. And also, when I moved to Athens to go to school, which is still a relatively small town, it felt huge to me. Everything was crazy. And then that's when I started, you know, kind of partying and getting a little sideways and all that stuff. But no, I mean, life was super structured. I would say kind of strict growing up good in a lot of ways. Also challenging in a lot of ways. So. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So he had. So you have a sister.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you have a sister, and she's a couple years older than you. So you. You walked on the team at Georgia. Right. And then we both went. So I. We. We obviously met on the basketball court. Well, when we graduated, Kyle got. We went to a career fair, and Kyle got a job, and I got a job, and that's where he went to move in with mom. So just, like, going along our time. Spanish. And then you worked for another company for a couple years, or. Gosh, five, six, seven years. Are we out on our timeline when you worked for the other agent for Rick? Yeah, yeah.

[B]

That was from 2014 to 2018. Yeah, yeah, January 2018.

[A]

And so, like, when we met, I was an only child, but I worked. I was working at. I worked at, oh, Charlie's and then I worked at Chick Fil A and then I worked at the event company. Like, one thing Kyle was big on his, like, you valued, like, hard work.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And so I was like, okay, I'm going to go to work. And, you know, when I started my job, I think both of us started our jobs and we were probably. We were making 30 something thousand each.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I might have cracked 36,000. Maybe that was with commissions. I couldn't tell. Then I'm like, are you just a really bad salesperson or is the commission rate that low? I don't know. Maybe a mix of both. Yeah, it's a little different then, but.

[A]

So it's hard for us because, like, we weren't married yet when we first moved in together, I think. But. But, like, we couldn't afford to not live together. So we were like, okay, we need to live together.

[B]

It caused a little tension in these Southern families.

[A]

Little tension. Mom and Daddy, like, okay, they did love him, but it was like, it was hard because, like, that we needed to live together financially. And I remember. I don't know that Kyle remembers this. I told this story the other day, and I was like, I don't think he. I think he blacks out some of the things that I. We fought about when I was younger and not as smart or emotionally intelligent. But I remember getting so mad at him because he paid $3 to put guacamole on my chipotle bowl. And I was like, I did not want that. That was $3. Like, I remember.

[B]

Like, I do remember that.

[A]

I was so mad because it was $3. I'm like, that is where we were. I was that stressed.

[B]

Like, no, no, no, hold on, hold on.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

This woman would go, I'm so glad this phase of life is over. She would go to Kroger. It was so embarrassing. We would leave the house and she would have an envelope or, like a folder full of coupons that she had clipped out. She would stand in line. She would stand in line checking out. There'd be a line full of people checking out with their freaking groceries, trying to make it to dinner and cook dinner. And she's sitting there just handing them coupon after coupon after coupon. She'd stand there for 15 minutes, hand up to them, like, are you freaking kidding me? Pay the bill and let's go.

[A]

He would step away. He's like, oh, my God, she's got more.

[B]

Oh, I'd already go and start loading the groceries in the car. Like, this is ridiculous.

[A]

Like, we wouldn't make eye contact. I'm over here, like, but I got one more for the. For the. For the ground beef. I'm like, there's just one more. And he's like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[B]

But, like, they save, like, 13 cents. She's like. And that counts. And she write a little notebook and. Perfect, Perfect. Okay, I got that. I'm like, you got to be freaking kidding me. Like, this is outrageous.

[A]

Like, that's the money tension. I felt that, like, I was like, every penny matters. I was crazy. Well, that's crazy. It's just crazy because.

[B]

A little bit crazy.

[A]

Stop it. So, like, that's kind of where we were. Like, although we had money, like, I worked so hard for it. I was like, I'm making $7 an hour, and I'm scrubbing toilets for this. Like, I want to save the $3 like that. Shift to toilet scrubbing. You know what I mean?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

So that's kind of where we were when we started our relationship. We didn't have much money. It was probably one of our, like, bigger topics of, like, argument or frustration that we had initially. And then looking back, now that I own a business owner, I realized something. It's. It's hard. It's like, I heard this quote, and it said that you marry two people, you marry the person you marry at the altar, and then you marry the person that they become. And I feel like over our. I think we're about to celebrate year nine. I think we're about to be at nine.

[B]

20. 16. 20.

[A]

Yeah. So we're about to be nine years of marriage. And I can definitely tell you in so many ways, like, so much has happened in our relationship over this.

[B]

Well, that's a marriage. We dated for, what, four or five years before that.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

So 2012. So four years. I mean, it's been, you know, whatever, 13, 14 years.

[A]

And I know you've said this because one of the. There's, like, this kind of middle point in our marriage, and we decided to go to therapy. And I've, like, you've gone to therapy every week. So since then, honestly. And so we've seen so much of our relationship grow, but I feel like I'm definitely. I feel like you Are too. We're two completely different people. And I feel like there's been so many good things, but there's been some challenging things as we've, like, grown from having no money, being very stressed about money. Every job, everything I think I thought about money, like, every single day, all day.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We would, like, take turns on going out to eat. Like, it was a whole stress thing. And then now we're at a place where our businesses have grown, things are different.

[B]

Yeah. But then it can turn on its head and go the other way. And then it's like, all right, well, just because you resent all that stress from not having money and the trauma of not having money and literally standing in line, having coupons, you can't just go to the completely other end and just buy everything that you want. Which we've also struggled with from time to time, where it's like, oh, yeah, the money's there. Let's just buy it. And it's like, well, yeah, I don't know if that's the right thing. You know, not saying that's our M.O. but it's. I mean, it's happened before.

[A]

We've made really good decisions about money in general. But it's definitely, like, even when there is more money, where there's some disagreement on, well, how do we spend this money that we have? We've navigated through. But I wanted to share that one thing that you said to me, because last week at my event, one of my clients, she was like, man, everything just looks so amazing. And I'm like, there are so many good things, and we are so grateful. And, like, Kyle and I have totally had some challenging times. And one of them has been, like, since the business has grown because your business grew. And, like, everything that we did, like, was about your business. And then your business has been established. And then when I started my business, it kind of shifted where a lot of things were about my business. And so I wanted to share that one, like, hard conversation that we had where you were like. I think you told me you're like, man, it's been hard for me because.

[B]

Well, for the. Okay, so I know what you're talking about. And for the first, like, I don't know what, four, five, six, maybe years of marriage, it was like, all right, let's get your career going. Like, this is the future. This is, you know, this is going to be the major support of our family. This is our financial. Yours, you know. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so all the focus was there, which, you know, to a degree Felt good. Also a lot of stress, too. And it took a while to get there, but we finally built up my business, which is an insurance agency, and we finally built that up to where it was like, pretty stable. And. And then it was like, all right, well, she decided she was going to start a business. I was like, oh, well, this is cool. Like, absolutely. Start a business. I didn't realize at the time it was going to be like, okay, this thing's going to be huge, comparatively speaking, to what it started with, which was nothing. This thing's going to be huge, and it's going to require a buttload of focus, time, energy, money, stress, conversation, arguments, resolutions. I mean, it's just over and over and over, big cycle. And it's been what now three years, basically, of doing that, watching it go from ground zero. It was a concept in a car. That's where it started. It was an idea in a car, basically, or on a couch to where it was like, I think I'm gonna. I'm gonna create something. But that's where it started. And then it's like, all right, well, now it's literally our life sort of revolves around that business. And for me, growing up, I think that I was probably more used to having kind of traditional roles, and I. It came to what she's talking about. And this is kind of what I'm getting to, which is it came to a point where I sort of had to grieve the loss of not having a traditional role family. I think probably ego and pride takes a little bit of hit with that to where it's like, I mean, I. At this stage of our career and may like, be like this forever. Like, she way out earns me, which is cool. Like, that's amazing. And it's definitely. There's a lot of perks to that, especially as a family, from a traditional role standpoint. I mean, it requires a lot of sacrifice on my part and then saying, like, you know what? I'm not going to have that traditional role. Like, Ashley's probably not going to get the kids up every morning and pet them and hang out with them and stuff. Like, we literally have someone else wake our kids up every morning, and then I help get them ready. She'll kiss them going out the door. I'm not saying she's absent, but she'll kiss me going out the door. And she's already been working since 6:30 in the morning or working out. And so, I mean, realistically, you come into a marriage with expectations and everybody does. I don't care who you are, how good you think you are, you come into it with expectations. And then if you get blindsided with the holy crap, this is not what I expected. It's either a going to cause a fight, divorce, or a deep conversation. And that's what we decided to do. So. And a lot of that came from the therapy that I do every week, which is not your fault. Yeah, I do it anyway.

[A]

Yeah. It's like, my goal is that I'm not always the person that is not waking them up. Like, my goal is to create a business where, like, I get to do what I want, when I want, how I want. And so on the weekends, like, that's my, like, mommy time. Like, my, my mommy time is I put my youngest to bed. Like, Kyle and I tag team the kids. So Kyle does bath time with the boys, and then I do. We do dinner as a family. And then we. And we play as a family. Like, two nights ago, we were out of breath, sprinting around the house. It was really fun. And then we had bath night or bath time. And then he takes Easton and puts the oldest to bed. I put the youngest to bed. I rock him. I read with him. Like, I have my mommy time.

[B]

That also didn't always happen. Like, even that started with a conversation because it was a period of time. And I get it, right? I mean, I remember starting a business to where it was like there was no energy, no time to invest in family, you know, relationship, me and you, none of that stuff. Like, it was like, I am just balls to the wall in the business. You know, it might be 12, 13 hours a day. And not thinking through, like, you know, adapting to non traditional roles. Like, I was thinking she needs to be like, more involved in the kids. And she's working 15 hours a day, sometimes sleeping just a few hours at night. And the time with the kids was getting neglected. Now in hindsight, I kind of had to take a step back and say, okay, she's in super growth mode right now. She's in growth mode. It won't be like this forever, but I had to communicate that to you. That was like, hey, this is important to me. This is important to me that you put quality time in. And she did. She reacted well to it.

[A]

Yeah, no, it was hard because it's like I wanted to be there, but it felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. I was like, we see. I was like, I was like, I see all the reward that's gonna come from this. And all the time that's gonna come if we can just get this to work. But it was like I could also see myself wanting to be where I couldn't be. I felt like. And so for those of you that don't know the history, we went from zero to nearly 6 million in less than three years. And for a while, especially in the first year, it was me and one other person. And in less than a year, I've hired nine full time people on the team. So I cannot tell you the level of growth. And one of the things that I keep saying is that there's no person that has an eight figure business that did it in two years that didn't have to make some huge sacrifices and stress. And so been hard for me because, like, the hardest thing I've struggled with is wanting to be more with the kids than I have been. Granted, like, when I, my son was able to be home with me for the first year, so, like, I would literally be nursing him, holding a computer and like sending a voice message to a client. Like, that was me for the whole first year. And thank God my mom, like, watched our son when he was young. So that first year in business, like my first year in business had a newborn. Like, when I did my event for 150 people, I was going on stage, going back, pumping, going back on stage. It was like postpartum version of me when emotions are high. It was so hard. And I could see like the, the pain on your face. I could, I could see that you're like. You see the vision. You want me to be there with the kids. And I feel like I just, like I had every plate spinning and I feel like I was like failing at everything, you know, but we have had like so much good conversation and you've sacrificed and you've seen me, like, delegate to. To be able to make space. Like, there was one conversation. I don't know if you remember it, but you probably do. You were like, hey, when the kids come home, we need no phone. Then I really want Sunday mornings to be no phone. Like, we had some no phone zone. And it felt like, I'm good with a plan. Give me a plan and I can do it. And so it just, it helped me. But now, like, my goal. I told Kyle the other night, we were sitting on the front porch and I was like, I'm willing to bust my absolute butt as hard as somebody can, but I can't do this forever. Like, I don't want to work this hard forever. Yeah, like, I want to. I want the company to grow, but I want my time to be bought back. And so that is like, I feel like you can see the progress that we've made. It's just we're in a growth year and it's been, like, really hard.

[B]

Well, yeah, I mean, it's growth few years, but that's literally from ground zero.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

To creating something that, you know, people want. They want to be a part of it. And with that comes huge time commitments. So. But no, it's come a long way. I mean, for sure. It's just not what everybody doesn't get to see on camera, which this is, you know, the same for most people whose faces get on camera and they get to see the best parts and the. The what sells? And then all of a sudden you're like, did they have this all together? Like this? Are they the one perfect couple? Nope.

[A]

Nope.

[B]

Heck no. I mean, there is so much mess behind the scenes. And when I say so much mess, I mean, it's like, you know, it's not falling apart. It's fantastic.

[A]

It really is.

[B]

But there's a lot of mess behind the scenes that. The conversation, you know, just like everybody else, like, we have couch conversations. We have back porch conversations. We have tense moments. We have to step away every now and then. I don't know if anybody else does. This was like, hey, I'm going to take five. I can't keep talking about this. I'm going to take five. I'm a step away. I'll be back in five minutes. We'll wrap this up. You know, it's like, those things happen with us, too. And it's not all flowers and rainbows and glitter.

[A]

It's not because, like, our personalities are both strong and, like, what will happen is, in an argument will happen is, well, our attentions will be high. And then I've. This is something I've worked on is I'm like, I don't want to say something I don't mean. You know, you say it in the moment. And so what will happen is in an argument sometimes, like, I'll retreat. I'll be like, you're right. You win. I'm done. Like, you can have it. And what we've. You've gotten really good at, like, or I feel like we both have, is like, we know when we should just, like, take a minute and not say anything else. Like, you'll walk away. Like, I'll come back in about five minutes. And I'm like, no, I want it. Right? Like, is it all chase? Like, we have this thing where it's like one person is retreating. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so we've. We've. We're not perfect, but we've gotten to a place where we're, like, self aware. We're like, yeah, we probably should just, like, breathe.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then finish the conversation.

[B]

So one of the things that I had when I started the business, one of the things that I really value is just, I value my time, right? I mean, I just want to have flexibility, freedom. I hate people hovering over me, telling me exactly what to do every day. Just. I can't stand it, won't do it. Obviously, when you own a business, you have a lot more autonomy. So when I went into it, like, my motivation was I want to make money, but also want to make time. I got to the point where I was making a decent income, and I was like, all right, well, what I'm making in a year, like, that's. That's. That's a good start. I can actually buy some of my time back now. As soon as I started buying my time back and I started playing golf, I go hunting, fishing, whatever, I started doing that. Well, she decides to open up a business, and it's like, all right, well, cool. Well, if. If you're going to do that. Now I get to watch the kids while I'm not working and do this. So, you know, I still play golf on Wednesdays. I did that today, every Wednesday. Still play off every Wednesday, sometimes on Fridays. But there was a period of time that I swear to God, I felt, like, guilty about doing it because you would be working, like, really hard because you were starting up a business. You said, hey, what are you doing today? Are you golfing? And I'm like, why do you ask? Yeah, like, I'm just curious if you're going to work or golfing. I'm like, are you trying to tell me I need to go to work?

[A]

Probably, right?

[B]

So it's like, hey, I. Where my career is and where my business is, like, I'm good with that, you know, Like, I'm. That's what I built it for. That's what I valued, and I did it. I got the time back.

[A]

I think I was honestly just resentful because I want it. I'm like, I'm working so hard. And, like, I saw me putting in every living, breathing minute before, during, and after each day, and then I'm like, oh, he did the whole point of why we start a business so that he could have that time. And I think I was A little resentful that I couldn't be there already.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so, yeah, I think one of the reasons that, like, you and I have been able to navigate, like, hard conversations, hard things, is because we are pretty self aware, especially when we take a minute and think. It's like, yeah, I see where you're at. You see where I'm at? And you've gotten. Ever since you, like, started meeting with Dr. Phil. His name is Phil. It's not the Dr. Phil, but it is.

[B]

I call him Dr. Phil.

[A]

It's Dr. Phil.

[B]

His name is Phil.

[A]

His name is Phil. Ever since you got with Dr. Phil, one thing that I've just like, drastically seen you do is you can communicate exactly how you're feeling, and you do it in a. In a respectful way. And I feel like, like we would not ever. You would never be like, the guys.

[B]

So one of the first. One of the first times we, me and Phil met, he was like, I don't know. We were talking about something. He said, how do you feel about that? I was like, what? What does that mean? I don't have feelings, bro. What are you talking about? Like, what do you mean, how I feel? I feel great. He said, no, no, really, how do you feel? And I was like, okay, this is how this is gonna go. Well, that was three years ago. So now I'm like, I'm having to dive in. Like, how do I feel about this? Like, so whenever I communicate to you, I'm like, I'll be honest. Like, this. This doesn't feel good. I'm getting a little pissed off, you know?

[A]

So the other day we. I called him. It was actually two days ago, I called him and I said, I'm having a really hard day. And I hadn't done that in a while. I was like, I'm having a very, very hard day. And I listed out everything that I had, like, done and accomplished that day. And he just. On the other side of the phone, he was like, that is a lot. That. That is very hard. And I started crying. I'm like, that's all I needed. I just wanted somebody. Like, I see you busting your absolute butt off, and I see you. And he didn't try to fix it. You were just like, I see you. Like, that is.

[B]

Well, I'm like, most guys, like, I'm a fixer. So, hey, I can fix that.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

No, I get it. I still wanted to fix it, but I was like, she doesn't need that right now. So I'm just gonna say, I hear You. I see you. I'm with you. I'm still your man.

[A]

That's right. So I think the last thing, the last question that people ask is, like, when we have these arguments, do you feel like we have some arguments that are like, the same ones and how do you feel? Like, we overcome that. Like, it's not perfect time.

[B]

It's all about time. And for me, the biggest thing for me is presence with the kids. And I know that we've had so many recurring conversations about this, like, making sure they're present with the kids, making sure that they know and they feel Mom. You know, it's like, it's not just. It's not just. I know that she's my mom, like, but I feel her, have a relationship with her. I have a closeness to her. And it just don't. You don't. We don't get that time back. Like, we do not get this time back, period. This day will never happen again. They will never be four years old and two years old again. Like, it will never happen. What? It will wake up one day and they're going to be 35 with kids, and we'll be hanging out with the grandkids. And I don't want to get to the point one day where it's like, okay, cool. Well, we have a net worth of $100 million, and my kids don't want to hang out with me. I would rather. I'd rather have the kids. I'd give all the money away for that.

[A]

I love you so much because you literally care about them more than anything. Literally. Money. I think you'd be okay living in a tent if you had them, no matter what.

[B]

Don't get me wrong, I like making money, but at the same time, it's like I know where my values lie. I know where my priorities are. And I don't think it was always like that. But it's gotten. It's gotten like that. I mean, you know, you lay eyes on them and you're like, okay, this now, it changes. So I just don't want to get to the point where I'm like, okay, I would trade it all because there's one thing that money can't buy. They say money can't buy half of this, but I'm going to tell you, you get a new driver in golf or, you know, new, you know, toy or something, I get pretty happy. You can't buy your time back.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You can't buy your historical time back. That ain't going to happen by your future time with it. You can't buy yesterday back.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

I don't want to give that up.

[A]

So we're just navigating this journey of, like, how can we have both? How can we be great parents, have great relationship and help a bunch of people with what we do? So it's not perfect, but we're working on it.

[B]

Yeah, that's right.

[A]

I love you.

[B]

Love you.