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Win With Paid Ads
#96: From Empty to Overflow: Why We're Donating to Cumberland Counseling Centers
00:34:52
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- [00:00]
A
Welcome to the Win with Paid Ads podcast for small business owners, entrepreneurs and really anyone who has anything you want more people to find. Whether you're starting from ground zero or scaling an eight figure business, you are exactly who this podcast was created for. Because you being the best kept secret helps no one.
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B
Right?
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A
That's why in every episode I'll show you how you can use paid ads to hit your goals 10 times sooner. It's time you finally learn how to win with paid ads. You or someone, someone on your team can do this.
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B
I'll show you how to score and.
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A
Be known by more.
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B
Let's get started. Back by popular demand is my husband. It's so funny. The video that we've had actually go viral has been Kyle and I'll tell you, the people love you, babe.
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C
I mean, obviously I'm just kidding. I'm kidding.
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B
But seriously, we have really enjoyed getting to do some life and business stuff together. And the reason we wanted to do today's episode is actually because we're releasing this episode on Thanksgiving and in the spirit of generosity and giving and impact and what being a rainmaker actually allows you to do is actually be able to have abundance so that you can be able to donate and give to things that really, really matter to you. And one of the things that has mattered so much to Kyle and I is actually counseling. So today on the episode we're going to talk about why we got into counseling, what it has meant for our lives, for our parenthood, for our marriage. And. And we actually have given a multiple five figure investment to a company this year or to an organization this year called Cumberland Counseling Centers. And so we're actually going to do this episode and share our heart between why behind why counseling is just so close and dear to us.
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C
This might be my favorite episode.
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B
Are you serious?
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C
I'm just going to tell you. Might be my favorite episode and I haven't even heard it yet. We haven't done it yet.
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B
It's going to be good.
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C
It's going to be good. So.
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B
So we're actually going to link to Cumberland Counseling Centers below so that as you listen to this, if you end up finding a, you know, an organization that you want to support and aligns with you, we'd love for you to give to Cumberland Counseling Centers as we have because what they do is they actually help people that cannot afford quality counseling be able to have access to the counseling that Kyle and I had the opportunity to get. So I can't wait to share this with you. It's going to. I'm, like, already getting emotional about our conversation, but I just. I truly believe that this is one of the most impactful things we've been able to do as a family. And Kyle.
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C
So true.
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B
Kyle is. Here's one thing about Kyle. We are alike in many ways, and then we are very different in many ways. Kyle has. And they say when you get married to somebody, you're supposed to marry someone who makes you better, like, in a way, or wants to make you better. Kyle has always challenged me with generosity. He would give the shirt off of his back. He would give the shoes off of his feet. And I was the one in college when my roommate was like, can I borrow that shirt? I'm like, I don't know. You gonna mess it up? Like, yeah.
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C
She was like, $12.50.
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B
Literally.
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C
I'm like, she's renting her shirts out. Tell them the washer and dryer story. Remember that?
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B
Remind me.
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C
The washer and dryer. I was trying to give a. We weren't going to use the washer dryer anymore. Like, we'd actually got a new one. So she was like, we could. We could sell it. And I was like, my. I had a family member at the time that needed a washer and dryer. Like, and it was kind of a tough. Probably tough financial situation for them, and they couldn't afford to go out and buy one. I was like, we could just give it to them. She was like, well, we could talk about it. She's like, we could sell this Marketplace. No, no. Marketplace. Wasn't even then.
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B
Come on.
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C
That wasn't even around.
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B
You were talking about Craigslist or Walmart.
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C
Craigslist. That's what it was. That thing you don't get on.
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B
Yeah.
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C
Craigslist freaks me out.
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B
Me too. So. So from day one, Kyle has challenged me when it comes to generosity, and I have absolutely, positively gotten better. And now it actually brings me so much joy to be able to give. It really makes my heart so happy. So we're gonna talk about counseling it. So hold on tight, because it's gonna be some behind the scenes of our life.
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C
It's good. Let's jump in. Let's do it.
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B
I had never actually. Well, okay. I'd kind of been in counseling before when my parents got divorced. That was when I was in first grade, and I started to go to counselors after that. But then after first grade, after a little bit of working through the divorce and splitting time between parents, I didn't go to counseling again. And what's so interesting is my mom was a school counselor. So, like, that's what she did. She actually taught math for a while, and then she was a school counselor. And so she has. I was wondering all the 9 million reasons why my mom was such a good mom, and it's because she was a counselor. She was curious, she asked questions, and she cared. And so I thought it would be cool, Kyle, if we kind of share a little bit. Like, we were. Our relationship was in a place where it wasn't going quite like we hoped, and we were like, okay, we should get into counseling. You want to share just a little bit of what your thought process was like before we started counseling? Because I know a lot of guys. You didn't want to do counseling at the beginning.
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C
Yeah, no, I mean, there's probably a. Probably like a lot of guys. I mean, it's like this macho, strong, like, I don't need that. That seems like a weak thing or whatever. But, yeah, I mean, I kind of went into it as a last resort. I mean, it was sort of like nothing else seems to be working and relationships not doing great, not being the best parent, making mistakes, having to live with regret and pretty crappy way to live. So I decided, you know what? I'm gonna give it a try. And I went in with not the greatest of expectations. I mean, the person I was referred to, his name's Phil, so I call him Dr. Phil, you know, which he's not the. The Dr. Phil I know, but I love calling him Dr. Phil.
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B
And who told you about Dr. Phil?
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C
Oh, so good friend James. Uh, he's a friend of ours, actually. And Meredith's on your team, and so now. Great guy. And thankfully, he referred me to Phil, and that's been. I was looking. I can't find the original email, but I'm pretty sure it was five years ago. So it's been a long time. It was around covet, and so. But yeah, I kind of went into it with not the greatest expectations, but also like, you know what? I'm gonna go here and give it a shot, and I'm gonna be as honest as I'm comfortable being. I still had a little guard up, but, you know, yeah, we made it through and I went. So I started doing sessions with him every week, and it was 45 minutes a session, so I was doing it every week in person, in person. It was a little bit of a drive. And then I realized it's 2020, 2021, whatever. It was like, we could do this virtually, but Fast forward. I went through a year of it doing in person, and then I just stepped away from it. What I realized it was like, all right, he's getting too close. I'm not ready to let go of all the stuff that was challenging me. And I was like, all right, now he's starting to get to the heart of what this stuff is. Let me back away. Which winds up. That actually winds up being a. A root issue. I mean, it's a trust issue, right? So it's the moment that people that start to get close to you, people like me, you start to push them away. It's like, I don't trust you to hold this well. So I'm not going to tell you, number one, and I'm going to distance myself from you. So that's what I did. I took a year off of counseling and then sort of hit rock bottom after that and then jump right back in again sort of as a last resort. And I have not missed a week in over three years, or probably about three years. Yeah, well, I haven't missed a week as in, I'm there pretty much every day.
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B
You're there.
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C
There's definitely a 50 out of 52 weeks, probably. Yeah, I'm there. So. And it is virtual, which is nice. So shout out to all the high tech counselors out there. Do virtual.
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B
What would you say to, like, there's gonna be some wives and husbands listening. But for the wives who. They really want their husbands to go to counseling, it's hard because I feel like you and I are both on the same page. Like, what would you say to the husband? Or what would you say to the wife if she's like, gosh, I really want my husband to go. He's kind of like you. And like, because you really didn't want to go at the beginning.
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C
No. Yeah, I pushed back pretty hard.
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B
Yeah. You were like, absolutely not.
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C
I think it's important to know that when you go, when you meet with a counselor, it's like if you went to a chiropractor or you went to a physician, or you went to. You picked out a financial advisor, some professional, you got to connect with them. So I don't think you assume that every counselor is created equally. And then when you go in and meet with them and you do the discovery meeting or whatever, you need to find a connection. And if you don't, don't give up. Go try another one. Find somebody that you connect with. And I think most people will tell pretty quickly, is this someone that I could connect with on a decent level, and if so, dive in, give it a shot. The other thing I would say is just commit to a small amount of time, Whether it's, you know, hey, I'm going to do this for 90 days. After that, I'll reevaluate. Or 60 days. Like, I'll reevaluate after that. I think a lot of people will be surprised how much progress they can make in a short period of time. Now it's gotten to the point where it's like, I don't see it as a thing that I have to do every week. It's a thing that I get to do. And I think some of that comes from the good feeling that comes from healing over time. Once you start to get rid of some, or not get rid of, but you start to uncover some of those scars and the hurt, and you address those things, and it helps you become a better person or a better version of yourself, then it makes you want to go back. You're like, all right, let's keep digging in. And that's been my story. So.
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B
Yeah, what are. I mean, I know for us, like, what happened initially was you went to counseling and I went to counseling.
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C
Yeah.
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B
We went separate counselors together.
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C
They were different counselors together.
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B
Yeah, basically. So we actually did it. So I was. Kyle was working on him, and I was working on me, and then we would come together and we would kind of talk about, like, how our sessions went for a while.
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C
Yeah. And. And that part wasn't easy.
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B
Yeah.
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C
And we would. I don't know, because, I mean, you can't. You can't unravel. I mean, you can share with your, you know, your wife, your husband, you can share with them what was talked about, but it's hard to really unravel unless you're a really good note taker, which I'm not. But it's hard to unravel all the stuff in counseling because a lot of it is. Is feeling. And it's hard sometimes for. For someone like me. And there's probably a lot of people like this, but it's hard to put feelings into words. And so I would feel things in counseling, and I would feel progress, but it's, like, to come back and actually debrief that with you. I was like, I don't know how to put this into words. Come to find out, I just have a hard time describing my feelings. According to Dr. Phil, that's a big issue.
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B
I think this is, like, kind of. I mean, you know, this, like, there's so many men, and I feel like they struggle with that. And I feel like that's the one thing that. Not, not the one thing. Gosh, I feel like that's one of the many things that I am so grateful for. Is you're way better at talking about feelings now.
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C
Yeah, I would say it's probably more skewed toward men for sure. I don't know the data behind this, but my gut feeling says it's probably more.
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B
Do I struggle talking about my feelings toward.
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C
It's probably an over. I don't know. But no, you, you do a pretty good job with it. Unless you're hangry and then it's wild. Then I don't trust any of them. I mean, let this woman miss one meal and it's like, you know, burn the house down. I'm just kidding.
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B
I'm a sweet angel.
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C
I'm kidding.
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B
And I only get hungry sometimes. And when I do, I just kindly ask that you watch out.
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C
Yeah, that's true. Skewed toward men. But I think it actually the root of it, I mean, it can happen to women too. I mean, you've met women that they just have a hard time talking about their feelings and it's like, yeah, that's a, that's a thing that has to be worked through. And so a lot of times that actually goes back in my story anyway. And I think it's probably the same for a lot of people. It goes back to childhood. It's like, did you have parents that welcomed that? Or was it like you shouldn't feel this way? And so if it's like a shame based relationship with your parent or if they didn't welcome what. I guess the terminology is actually attunement to where it's like I attune to your feelings. So it's like, for example, you know, a parent may say, hey, how was your day at school today? And the kid may say, you know, oh, it was good, I got into a little fight or oh, somebody said something mean or you know, and they might say, well what did they say? And the kid might say, oh, they, they just told me I was fat or whatever, said something mean. And the parent might say, oh, you don't have to take that to heart. It's kind of assigning what you should do. Whereas a parent who's a tune, they would say something like, oh man, that stinks. How, how'd that feel when they said that? And you start talking about the feelings behind it and then someone gets used to talking about that and so if there's any male listeners, the temptation there is probably like, oh, that's soft. You know, I don't want to talk about my feelings. Like, okay, well, if you live that way long enough and you start to subdue it long enough, it comes out eventually. It just might come out in a way you don't want it to come out. The emotions don't. They're not created to live inside. They eventually come out, and it might be at the detriment of somebody that's close to you. It might be a detriment of, you know, a poor decision. Some of those things you have to live with forever. So my opinion now, completely different than it was five years ago. Better to talk about it and to be brutally honest with it. That. That took a little. That took a little time. I had to get to trust Phil before I would be brutally honest about stuff. Now we start a session, I'm like, dude, I'm about to vent for 15 minutes, sit back and buckle up. And he's like, all right, go for it. And 15 minutes later, I'll take a deep breath and say, and I'm done. What you got? You know?
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B
Yeah.
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C
But I'm just really honest with it.
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B
Yeah. Why do you feel like you hesitated with being fully honest at the beginning?
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C
Well, some of the stuff we were going through personally is, like, it just wasn't easy to talk about. I mean, there were some really poor decisions. It was affecting our marriage and our family, and it just wasn't. I mean, it wasn't something that I trusted anybody to know or, you know, in his terms and counseling terms to hold that, you know.
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B
Yeah.
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C
But it's just. I didn't. I didn't want anybody to know the things that I was struggling with. Part of that, the source for me is like, you know, he. He uses this terminology a lot. It's performances. It's like I get value or I feel valued when other people recognize my high performance. Like, that's where I feel like I have worth is. If. So, in other words, the opposite would be true. Like, if I don't perform well, then I don't have. Then I'm worthless.
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B
Yeah.
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C
And so for somebody to see me as flawed or haven't made a bunch of mistakes would actually make me feel worthless. And so it took me a while to discover that. So that year that I took off, I mean, that was. It was a tough year, but it was a big growth period, too. And it's where, like, all right, I need that. And when I made this Commitment. I don't know if I ever told you this, but when I made the commitment to go back, I said, I am going to tell him everything, a brutally honest, and just drop bombs on him. And I did. I got my money's worth.
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B
And how did Phil hold everything that you gave him?
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C
Amazing. Which is so cool, because a good counselor or therapist, whatever term it is, they're. I mean, number one, they're really well trained. But also, if you find one that you connect with and they actually care and there is compassion there. There is no judgment. And the cool thing is, I think this is. The people think they're so unique and that their mistakes are so unique is not. These therapists, they hear the worst of the worst and the best of the best and opposite ends of the spectrum. They're not surprised by anything, and they're not judging anybody. They have a job there, and their job is to connect with you, to help you grow one step at a time. That's it. So he does a really good job of listening and then asking really good questions. And so one of my favorite attributes about him, and I think this would be for anybody who's in that profession, is the genuine curiosity. And you can tell when somebody's being authentic versus they're just checking a box, going down a list, asking questions. Not him. I mean, it's authentic curiosity. And that was a little foreign to me, but now it's expected. Like, now I go into it, I'm like, okay, yeah, no, that was legit.
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B
Yeah, I. I get a little jealous of Kyle sometimes because I went to. During that time when things were just not great, I went to a counselor, and I started to really develop a connection with her. And I would come home and I would be so excited. I'd be like, luke, look, I learned these things about me because here's what. Here's what I knew and what I have absolutely learned. No matter what, in any relationship, no matter what one person or the other person does or says or anything, there are two people. And I was like, I know that I absolutely, positively could honestly be a better wife. And I learned. I mean, those of you that know me, we joke about it now, but, like, I legitimately was such a control freak. Like, I wanted to control Kyle's every single move, every minute that he was anywhere. I just. I just wanted to know because I wanted to control it. And here's where this come from. And it came from, and we learned this through counseling, is my parents are divorced, and I wanted to control the fact that I didn't get into a divorce. I was like, and if I can just control what he does, then I can for sure control that we don't get divorced. And what I've learned is you just can't control other humans. And what you can control is you. And so I learned a lot of the things that I could do to be a better wife, to be a better person, so that I could put my 50% in. And I can't make him do his 50%. But the thing is, I saw him every week going to counseling, and I was in denial that I needed counseling for a minute. And then I went and I experienced and I got so much value out of that counselor. We had the best conversations. And I think for Kyle, me being an absolute control freak, I. Which I. I still love having control. But would you agree that I am absolutely a different person than I was six years ago?
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C
Completely.
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B
Completely.
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C
Yeah. So much progress. And it makes me trust you more. And. Yeah. So I. I gotta say this.
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B
Yeah.
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C
During that period of time where both before counseling and period or period, and then also in that kind of one year break that I took, especially before counseling at all, I was 100, or we were 100 on the path of divorce. Zero questions. We were on the path. We didn't want to admit it, but I was making decisions. You were acting in a certain way. That's super controlling. And honestly, my actions, probably major control side, even stronger.
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B
True.
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C
We were 100 on the path to get divorced. There's no doubt about it. Yeah, I mean, we were close and. But not only that. Like, I was making decisions, especially as it relates to, like, alcohol. I was making really poor decisions that were leading to potential death. I mean, that was. That's the truth. And so, yeah, it. I think for me, it's like the. And for a lot of people, it's like, it's hard to see when you're trapped in those moments and you're. You're dealing with the pain of that and you feel like there's no escape. It's hard to find hope. Like, it really is. Like, it's really hard to find hope. And I found it through counseling. Like, that was it. I didn't know who to turn to. I've got great mentors in life, but I needed something bigger and deeper. And that was. That was Phil for me. It just, you know, I know for a fact that God led me to him specifically at that point in my life, not sooner, not later, right then. Changed my. Changed my life. And it changed our Marriage?
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B
Yeah. I mean, we went from.
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C
Can you imagine where we would be right now if I didn't meet Phil?
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B
No. Well, we wouldn't be here. Yeah, we wouldn't be here. We. We handled arguments like. Like, this is just completely honest. It's so bad because I just wouldn't do this today. But if he yelled, I just yell louder. If he was mad, I'd just get madder. Like, it was like, don't dare. Like, I just. It was like, it wasn't fight or flight. It was like, fight. And I like, he, like, not physically. We would just verbally fight so loud and so strongly until I would just be like, you win and just retreat and walk away. It would be. I would fight and then flight. Like, there was no, like, let's have, like a patient, real conversation about this. Like, we did not have.
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C
There wasn't any patience.
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B
There was no patience, no irate anger.
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C
Yeah. A lot of that for me was like, it was just a reflection of how much I disliked myself. I mean, that's the truth. Why do you say that, like, internally? Like, when you start to dislike that version of yourself, you're like, you're making all those poor decisions. You're getting, you know, let's just be honest, Drunk and making bad decisions with that. It's like, you don't like that. When you wake up the next morning, you really don't like that. That version of yourself sucks. And you know, when you start to hate that version of yourself, you become defensive because you're like, I don't know, you just feel hopeless and you start to defend yourself to give yourself some type of self worth.
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B
I think both of us for a minute thought that the problem is for sure the other person.
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C
Yeah.
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B
Would you agree?
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C
Oh, 100. Yeah.
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B
Yeah. I was like, he's the problem.
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C
I was like, well, if you weren't so controlling, I wouldn't want to go out here and do this. And I'm like, well, that. Now I say that and it sounds ridiculous, but.
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B
But I'm also like, I would have to control you if you die like an adult. Like, that was our conversation. It's crazy. We were just not who we were, who we are. The thing I was a little. I said earlier I was a little jealous about Kyle because I feel like Kyle hit the jackpot with hitting, getting Phil on the first try.
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C
Yeah.
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B
I got so much value through like two or three different counselors. But to be completely honest, I don't know. I don't think I've ever shared. I know Kyle knows this, but I felt like I would get so close to somebody, and I'd feel like they actually cared and got me.
- [21:54]
C
And.
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B
And then I felt like, for a minute, I truly felt like. Like I was annoying. It was like, the same thing that I. It was like. It was like, the same. I would talk about the struggles of what we were saying, and they just. It felt like they felt like it was just the same thing. And I don't know. I just. I lost. I'm so intuitive with people. And I was like, the moment that I felt like they actually legitimately didn't care about me, I was out. And I'd cancel, and I'd leave, and I'm like, they don't care. And I could just feel it. I don't know. You just know when you're sitting somewhere, you're like, you can see in here. And I got to sit on one counseling session with Kyle. Phil knew I was there, but it was virtually. And just listening to how Phil even spoke to Kyle, I'm like, he literally cares about him. And so I would get sad because I'm like, I just want someone to care like Phil does. Like, I just want someone who makes it to a certain point and honestly having to retell the story every single time. Like, I hate reliving it. I hate going through the divorce. I hate going through the suicide. I hate going through the marriage stuff. I'm like, I don't want to redo this for the time first, fourth time, you get a little bit aggravated that someone doesn't care and he's found someone. And so I'm still ISO. In search of, like, a new counselor. And Kyle and I have even talked about it recently that I feel like I really do want to have that back. Like, you have, you know, someone unbiased that truly cares, that can see what I still struggle with.
- [23:12]
C
You know, I mean, at the end of the day, mental health is. You know, there's a 100, some. Some bad stigma around it or whatever. It's like, it's. It's. It's important. And I think it becomes more evident when you hear these stories, like, oh, man, you would have never expected this person to commit suicide. You know, what. What an awful thing. I mean, it's like, the worst of the worst, and it's like, no one would have ever expected. It's like, guess what? That's a mental health and how much you know. So, you know, I know we talked at the beginning about Cumberland counseling, and I want to talk a little bit about that. But it's like, how many people potentially could be saved even for something like that? Or a marriage not having to end a divorce. Because divorce doesn't stop with the parents or the husband and wife not having a relationship. A lot of times it ends with a life sentence of hardship on the children or the grandchildren. I mean, we live this know right now. And thankfully, all of our, our parents have, you know, they've remarried, they've got great spouses, they're amazing people. Everybody gets along.
- [24:17]
B
We were all together this past weekend, which is awesome.
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C
That's great. There's still a lot of complexity there, and it's tough.
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B
Yeah.
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C
I mean, to watch Christmas. We got like 24 Christmases and who.
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B
Gets what days, you know?
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C
Yeah. And so, you know, but even back to the, you know, going through the divorce, the husband and wife, they just can't make it. What if that could be saved? Like, what if there is a way? What if there wasn't this really crappy, you know, view of getting help with your mental state? You know what I mean? We have no problem going to the doctor when we're vomiting or we have a physiological issue. But the thing that's most powerful in our body is our brain. And yet we're like, oh, no, let's not work on that. I'm too tough for that. No, you're not. You owe it to yourself to find freedom. You owe it to yourself to be the best version of yourself. Not for your wife, not for your kids, not for anybody. Do it for you. And that's what I'm working on. And I still see Phil every week because I am not there. I don't even see it as a destination. I kind of see it as a step by step journey. And I don't mean that cliche. I mean, now that I've lived through counseling for years now, it's just proven like, this is not a. Oh, cool, you made it. It's. Hey, let's take this one step at a time. Let's try to get a little bit better next week. And if we take a step back. Cool, that's fine. We'll. We'll work on it next week.
- [25:36]
B
I feel like our. The counseling that we both got and even just growing as adults and us both just maturing over time, I feel like we have a lot better. There's less tears overall.
- [25:48]
C
Yeah. Oh, a lot less.
- [25:50]
B
God, I used to cry all the time.
- [25:52]
C
Yeah. Now we only fight like once a week.
- [25:57]
B
It's the same fight every time.
- [25:58]
C
I'm just Kidding.
- [25:59]
B
It's not every week now.
- [26:00]
C
It's not what's for dinner? So anyway, thank God.
- [26:02]
B
Chef Danny, shout out.
- [26:04]
C
Oh, yeah.
- [26:04]
B
Yeah. We don't fight about dinner anymore. Thank you, Rose and Danny. What? I feel like the counseling has allowed.
- [26:11]
C
We don't fight once a week. I was.
- [26:12]
B
Yeah, that was a joke. Thank God. We may disagree on things and we have a con, but. But it's. God, we haven't had an actual, like, blow up fight like we used to in a hot minute.
- [26:21]
C
Yeah. Like two or three weeks.
- [26:22]
B
Crazy. All right. So the last few things before you we kind of share about Cumberland is I feel like I've been able to be a better leader and a better wife just because I've learned how to actually listen, to care, to be curious. I think I see now. I can totally tell when someone hasn't been to counseling, especially the trolls on Facebook and Instagram. I'm like, you definitely have not experienced this because you're being. You're not actually considering another human. And counseling forces you to listen and be. Care so much about the other person that you're actually curious.
- [26:54]
C
Yeah.
- [26:55]
B
And that is one thing. Like, there's a few times you've even asked me a question, and that alone made me cry. I'm like, that's a great question. Thank you for caring, you know.
- [27:04]
C
Yeah.
- [27:05]
B
Would you agree that it, like, the curiosity thing has helped us in our marriage and like your job and work too?
- [27:10]
C
Yeah. And I'm going to tell you, there was a. I didn't know it then, but I'm pretty sure of it now. You went through. Ashley went through a sales training with. There's a. It's called the sales girls.
- [27:25]
B
Yeah.
- [27:26]
C
And she went into it with, I'm gonna learn how to sell better.
- [27:31]
B
Right.
- [27:31]
C
And it certainly did that. It did a great job at that. But what it actually taught her was how to be curious and then not just how to be curious on the surface, but how to be genuinely curious about the person that was across from you. And that actually made its way into our marriage. You actually sales scripted me. A lot of times you would say, like, you know, I don't know. You'd say something like, well, what do you mean by that?
- [27:52]
B
What do you think reason that you say that?
- [27:54]
C
Is there a specific reason why you ask that? And I know when you're on script sometimes I'm like, get off the sales script. All right?
- [27:58]
B
He's like, don't sell me. And I'm like, I'm just being curious. And that's What a good salesperson.
- [28:02]
C
But no, it is authentic a lot of times. And you know, sometimes when you're. When we're arguing, it's like, yeah, it's maybe a little bit scripted, but the bottom line is the curiosity. I think that actually that bread was pretty cool.
- [28:15]
B
And I actually think it's obvious. I actually think that curiosity, the genuine curiosity has helped. I don't think we'd be here with the company at this level because that is one thing I've done with our team and with our clients. Like, I legitimately know because I've experienced it with you and I've experienced it with my counselor. I know what genuine, authentic curiosity feels like, and it feels so freaking good.
- [28:37]
C
And I'm like, yeah, because you ever go to a party or something or a big social gathering and somebody's talking to you, they're asking you questions, it's like you don't care. Like, you just know.
- [28:46]
B
You're just saying.
- [28:48]
C
But you are saying this because it's awkward standing right here and you want to say something, but you just know when they're not being. But when somebody's really curious and they ask follow up questions, specific questions, they actually want to dig in. You're like, oh, this feels nice.
- [29:00]
B
Someone cares. That's what I get to do for my clients. I'm telling you. That's why selling has been not a breeze. But I really have learned how to care about people, and people just want to feel cared about. You and I both.
- [29:14]
C
Yeah.
- [29:14]
B
Yeah. So good.
- [29:16]
C
Good. We should talk about Cumberland. I want to talk about what they got going on.
- [29:19]
B
Yep. Let's do it. So obviously summary is we would not be here without counseling, and I'm so grateful for it. And I've watched our lives and our kids and our relationship benefit from it. So of course, Kyle was like, hey.
- [29:36]
C
So Phil mentioned this thing. All right. We were in a session and he mentioned that they had a gala coming up for. He was. Well, he actually shared a little bit about the. The. The business or the foundation before the gala. But he told me, he was like, hey, you know, because counseling, let me tell you this, counseling is expensive a lot of times. And a lot. A lot of people take insurance, and I think absolutely explore those options. But if you have cash payer, like, and you get quality counseling, like, it's, It's. It can be expensive. And I, I mean, I view it as an investment. But let's be real. Like a lot of people, you just can't afford that. Like, it, It. It can be A lot of money. Or maybe they can't get it as frequently as maybe they need it.
- [30:22]
B
Yeah.
- [30:22]
C
And so there's also that group of people who. Absolutely. It's not even in question. They cannot afford it.
- [30:29]
B
Yeah.
- [30:30]
C
And if they do get counseling, it's. No offense, but it's not the highest. It's not the highest quality counseling. And so it is expensive. So fast forward or rewind to this conversation with Phil. And he shared this thing that he was doing with. Her name's Alexandra. She goes by Alex. And they have Cumberland counseling, and they created Cumberland counseling, and he's joined forces with her. And what they do is they actually provide high quality counseling. I mean, he is, to me, the highest quality, and he's the only one that I've ever worked with. I can't imagine it being better. Better. And Alex is on mission with him. They're amazing people. And so. But they actually provide high quality counseling for people that can't afford it at no charge.
- [31:12]
B
Yeah.
- [31:13]
C
And obviously it's through. It's a nonprofit, so it's through donation. And so that's kind of where it started. And I. My heart is all in it. Like, I. My life's been changed completely. We are in a position that we can afford. We can afford this. But I know in my heart is for the people who can't. And they are just as important as we are. Their stories, their pain, their relationships are just as important as ours. And so I brought this idea to you. You can pick it up from there.
- [31:41]
B
I mean, that's really it. We met with Alex. I was like, this is. We wouldn't be here without it. We are so.
- [31:48]
C
And they needed people to partner with them.
- [31:49]
B
Right.
- [31:50]
C
So they had this gala that was. That was coming up.
- [31:52]
B
They had this gala and we decided to. The Paid Ads Academy decided to be the presenting sponsor at this event, which was a five figure investment. And we decided to invest. And Robert, our videographer, actually donated the video to be able to create that video for.
- [32:07]
C
Robert's here right now. Shout out Robert.
- [32:09]
B
We love Robert.
- [32:09]
C
You're so awesome.
- [32:10]
B
We'll link to Robert below the video, please. But he really saw the value in what we were doing too. So we made this video, became the presenting sponsors at this event, and then we did a match. So basically, we're matching a certain amount of the investment just to continue. So, long story short, it is an opportunity for us to just be so grateful for how God has blessed this company and our clients and to take some of that profit and be able to Donate it to something we believe in.
- [32:37]
C
So, yeah, there's this. Our church here, our local church that we're a part of is Woodstock City. They're part of North Point Community Church. And Andy Stanley is the lead pastor. And I think it's once a year, they go through this program called Be Rich. It's a program called Be Rich, and it's giving back to the community, impacting your local community. So North Point has just a network of churches, actually, all over the world, but a lot of them concentrated in metro Atlanta. And in Be Rich, you know, they'll talk about, you know, the sort of the spirit behind giving. And for me, I think it's so important, as God has financially blessed us, it's that, you know, Andy talks about, like, you can live life like this to where you hold it all in, or you can live life with your hands open. And, you know, I think it's not just to receive with your hands open. It's to give is to give. And for me, it's about being a good steward of what we've been blessed with. And I don't think we do it with a heart of, well, if I'm. If I bless other people, I'll get more blessed. It's not about that. If God didn't give us another dime, I still think this would be a good decision.
- [33:40]
B
I agree.
- [33:40]
C
So.
- [33:41]
B
And that's why I'm married to that guy. I love you, and I'm so grateful for, number one, just doing these podcasts with us. I feel like you and I together, the best versions of ourselves. Like, I feel like we get to. I just hope someone's listening to this and, like, you get to see the other side of what counseling can do for your life and for your relationship. And we just love doing these episodes because we are absolutely not perfect. And we have so many things we've worked on, and we're gonna keep working on them because we're not perfect. Yeah, keep working. But I love your heart. I love your generosity. It's one of the many reasons that I love you so much.
- [34:17]
C
I love you, too. Can we shout out Robert one more time? Are you gonna link it? Are you gonna link it up?
- [34:21]
B
The moment I told him about the video, he was like, don't. Yeah, like, he just cares so much, too. So. We love you, Robert.
- [34:28]
C
And if Phil and Alex, if you ever watch this, we love you.
- [34:30]
B
We love you so much. And we are so honored to be a part of just helping more people find what y' all do. Findability is a big deal around here, so we love that. I will link to Cumberland Counseling Centers below this video or this podcast if you're listening to it. And in the meantime, go advertise your name, make it rain, and I'll see you on the next episode. I love you, babe.
- [34:50]
C
I love you.