After the Vote: Navigating Elections in Relationships

Summary

Podcast Summary: Marriage and Martinis – Episode: After the Vote: Navigating Elections in Relationships

Release Date: November 11, 2024

In the episode titled "After the Vote: Navigating Elections in Relationships," hosts Danielle and Adam delve into the complexities that a recent election has introduced into their marital relationship. The conversation is candid, intense, and reflective of the broader societal tensions surrounding political differences within relationships.

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1. Introduction to Election Tensions

Adam opens the discussion by acknowledging the palpable tension both in their personal lives and in the broader societal context following the recent election.

"It’s been a rough couple of weeks, right? The tension, the election, it’s been the campaigning, the texting, the calls, it’s just all been so overwhelming."
— Adam [01:07]

Danielle subtly downplays the universal impact, suggesting that not everyone feels the same level of tension.

"Well, maybe not to a lot of people out there."
— Danielle [01:22]

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2. Differing Levels of Political Involvement

A significant portion of the episode revolves around the differing degrees of political engagement between Danielle and Adam. Danielle expresses her deep emotional and active involvement in political matters, while Adam admits to a more detached stance.

Danielle emphasizes the importance of authenticity and the necessity to address political issues rather than ignoring them.

"I want to show up authentically... To ignore it is an injustice to yourself and to everyone who looks to you for a voice."
— Danielle [02:26]

In contrast, Adam acknowledges his limited involvement and understanding of politics, relying on Danielle for political information.

"I am not informed. I am not like... anything coming from me is more just of what did I hear, what do I think about it."
— Adam [05:41]

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3. Privilege and the Ability to Engage Politically

The conversation intensifies when Danielle accuses Adam of viewing his limited political engagement as a form of privilege.

"I think that what leads me as a political person are the exact same things that would have led me 20 years ago."
— Danielle [07:30]

Adam challenges this notion, questioning why Danielle perceives his detachment as privileged.

"Why is that a privilege thing?"
— Adam [07:53]

Danielle counters by highlighting the time and effort she dedicates to political research and activism, asserting that such commitment isn't a privilege but a responsibility.

"They have enough time to be arguing with everybody, but they don't have time."
— Danielle [20:12]

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4. Evolution of Political Parties and Polarization

Both hosts discuss the transformation of political parties over the decades, noting a significant shift in party ideologies and voter bases.

Danielle argues that the core issues have evolved, leading to increased polarization and the creation of non-existent problems used as political tools.

"There are a lot of problems that have been created that do not exist... It's been created, you know."
— Danielle [09:35]

Adam points out the flip in party demographics, particularly how the Republican Party has shifted from its traditional base.

"The Republican Party 40 years ago was the business party, that was the wealth party... That's completely done on 180, you know."
— Adam [11:30]

Danielle emphasizes that issues have become more intertwined with morality and identity, exacerbating divisions.

"We have crossed the line of politics into morality."
— Danielle [37:45]

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5. Specific Political Issues Discussed

a. Abortion

Danielle passionately discusses the complexities surrounding abortion, emphasizing its connection to various aspects of women's lives beyond the act itself.

"Abortion should be accessible for anyone, you know, for all the reasons... It is connected to every single issue in a woman's life."
— Danielle [45:08]

She highlights the dire consequences of restrictive laws, citing statistics on women forced to carry unwanted pregnancies.

"Since the ban has gone into place or the overturning of Roe v. Wade, 63,000 women have carried rapists, babies."
— Danielle [45:38]

b. Transgender Athletes

The hosts debate the contentious issue of transgender athletes in sports, with Danielle critiquing the disproportionate focus on a minority.

"Trans women are having to prove that they're women now. They have to go in if they look like they're too muscled."
— Danielle [32:53]

Adam questions the validity and prevalence of the issue, pointing out the small percentage of athletes it affects.

"20 athletes out of over 500,000 identify as trans and this is your issue?"
— Adam [32:26]

c. Immigration and Border Policies

Danielle criticizes the superficial handling of immigration issues, arguing for data-driven approaches rather than reliance on polarized rhetoric.

"Why is it that immigration has been brought up 50,000 times, and yet nobody mentions the actual statistics?"
— Danielle [26:13]

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6. Media Influence and Misinformation

Both hosts express frustration with media manipulation and the spread of misinformation, which they believe exacerbates political divisions.

"Statistics can be manipulated in any way that they want to be."
— Adam [26:22]

Danielle underscores the challenge of discerning factual information amidst a sea of biased reporting.

"If it was statistically based with live footage, there's nothing out there that I'm going to say, take my word for it, nor do I ever."
— Danielle [44:21]

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7. Impact on Marriage and Parenting

The political discord isn't just an abstract discussion; it tangibly affects Danielle and Adam's relationship and their approach to parenting. Danielle articulates the mental and emotional burden of navigating these issues within the household.

"I'm exhausted... I have to protect our kids... I'm the one thinking about that stuff."
— Danielle [48:53]

Adam expresses concern over Danielle's overwhelming involvement, worried about her mental health and the strain it places on their relationship.

"The only thing that's frustrating about it is, it affects all of us because of your mental state about what's going on."
— Adam [48:33]

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8. Conclusion and Future Discussions

As the episode progresses, the tension between Danielle and Adam becomes more pronounced, highlighting the challenges couples face when navigating political differences. They conclude with an unresolved discussion about external influences on their relationship and decide to continue the conversation in a future episode.

"We'll talk about it next time."
— Adam [70:19]

"I have so much more."
— Danielle [63:58]

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Notable Quotes

• "I want to show up authentically... To ignore it is an injustice to yourself and to everyone who looks to you for a voice." — Danielle [02:26]

• "Why is that a privilege thing?" — Adam [07:53]

• "Abortion should be accessible for anyone... It is connected to every single issue in a woman's life." — Danielle [45:08]

• "Statistics can be manipulated in any way that they want to be." — Adam [26:22]

• "I'm exhausted... I have to protect our kids... I'm the one thinking about that stuff." — Danielle [48:53]

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Final Thoughts

"After the Vote: Navigating Elections in Relationships" offers a raw and unfiltered look into how political events can strain personal relationships. Danielle's fervent activism contrasts sharply with Adam's more detached perspective, encapsulating a common dynamic many couples face. Their honest dialogue underscores the importance of communication, understanding, and respect in maintaining relationships amid political turmoil.

For listeners who haven't tuned into the episode, this discussion serves as a microcosm of the broader societal challenges, emphasizing the need for empathy and open dialogue in bridging political divides within personal relationships.

Transcript

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[Adam]

Hey, everybody. Welcome to Marriage of Martinis. I'm Adam. Here's Danielle.

[Danielle]

Hello.

[Adam]

All right, so it's been a rough couple of weeks, right? The. The tension, the election, it's been the campaigning, the. The texting, the calls, the, like, it's just all been so overwhelming.

[Danielle]

Well, maybe not to a lot of people out there.

[Adam]

Well, I mean, I think for me, I was getting 10 texts a day. I get a lot of spam calls, A lot of spam.

[Danielle]

Oh, you mean from the candidates?

[Adam]

Yeah. Like, I don't even know if.

[Danielle]

If they were real.

[Adam]

They're real. If they're not, like, hey, yeah, you know, whatever. Like, donate now before it's too, you know, all like, 10, 12, whatever. How many times a day. And that on top of just the. The energy in the air, the aura that's been, like, everywhere.

[Danielle]

The tension.

[Adam]

Yeah. Like, I want to say, like, now we can breathe, but we can't. Right. So it's like.

[Danielle]

Well, some people.

[Adam]

Can I. Yeah, sure. Fine. Yes and no. I mean, you know, like, who knows what's to come? Who know, you know? But listen, I guess we're gonna tread this one delicately, right? Is that your intent, I hope.

[Danielle]

Yeah, I would like to. Yeah, I. I think we can do it delicately. Look, I also think if you listen to this podcast and you follow me on Instagram, I think people know where we stand. I don't think that's any big secret. You know, I don't think that if we told people who we voted for, they would be blown away. I certainly, you know, I think that what. What we talk about on the podcast oftentimes aligns with who you would think we would vote for. And look, I had, you know, 10,000 people leave my Instagram this week, and it's. And counting, they're still going. So I know that people have been following me for a long time, and all of a sudden we're like, oh, shit, you know, she didn't vote who I thought she would have, or she's advocating for the person who I didn't and there are a lot, I have a lot of influencer friends or podcaster friends and everything who won't ever touch any delicate issue with a ten foot pole. And I get it because look, this is also, people don't realize, you know, people oftentimes will say, how come you're not fighting about this issue on your platform? You know, I've fought with friends before who have been like, why aren't you using your platform for this? Why aren't you using your platform for this? And I think I use it more than most in that way. Or, you know, there's obviously some who use it only for that, you know, if that's there, if they're a political, you know, or a social justice or whatever podcast or, or account. But I'm not, you know, I am all the, I'm, you know, a mom, a parenting, marriage, midlife, you know, women, you know, just relationships, friendships, womanhood, all that stuff. But I also, I believe as someone who, who since we started this podcast back in 2018, have always said to people, I want to show up authentically or we want to show up authentically. I think when there's a major election going on and major political stuff going on, to ignore it is, first of all, it's an injustice to yourself because you have to then compartmentalize and act as if you're not freaking out when you really are, or upset or sad or nervous. And also, I think it's an injustice to everybody who, you know, who follows you because number one, people look to you for a voice. People look to you for that bravery. And people look to you, to you to show up. And so I said on Instagram, look, I've lost, like I said, 10, 12,000, the text, the DMs I've gotten and everything, things I've been called, the things that have been said to me. And you know, plus I'm a Jew and there's all this Jewish stuff going on, plus, you know, like just all of these things, it gets to be very overwhelming. But this is, to me, I think that November 5th, you know, 2024, the stuff that came before it, the stuff that's going to come after, to pretend it doesn't exist is insane.

[Adam]

Well, yeah, look, we, we don't go into politics very often. It's obvious.

[Danielle]

Not directly.

[Adam]

That's what I was just saying. Like the things that we say, the things we discuss, how we talk about certain, you know, I guess political social issues and.

[Danielle]

Right. Our openness about.

[Adam]

Right. So we don't directly Talk about politics. Right. So. And I am in no way able to even put my foot in the door talking about politics. I am not informed. I am not like, I, you know, I get my political news from you or like the news, which I take with a grain of salt because no matter, doesn't matter which network it is. You know, I take whatever they say with a grain of salt because I know they're just out there.

[Danielle]

Sure, right. Yeah, as do I.

[Adam]

So I'm not researching all day. I'm not knowledgeable in all the facts, the stats, the polls. Like, I don't know that stuff. Right. So this is just kind. So anything coming from me is more just of what did I hear, what do I think about it, what are my opinions, what are my, you know, it's, they're, they're, I'm not informed enough within politics to be able to contribute properly. Right. So it's just kind of like I'm your everyday American who has feelings and thoughts and, you know, I hear something, here's my thought about that. And that's as far as it goes for me, I guess, because I just don't have the, I want to say time and energy or I don't have the, the need or the want to, like, dive into it and do the research and do, and maybe that's wrong, maybe it's not, I don't know. But I will do this as best as I can.

[Danielle]

Well, a lot of the stuff I want to talk about too isn't directly that.

[Adam]

Right.

[Danielle]

But I also think that what you're saying is a very privileged thing to say.

[Adam]

Okay.

[Danielle]

You know, that you don't have to, you know, you're not, you're not, you don't know the stats, you don't know this, you don't know that. You're not having the, the conversations and everything. And look, I get it, right. Everybody is. So, I mean, before the election.

[Adam]

Can you explain that to me, please? Yeah. Why is that a privilege thing? I would say I am the majority of people.

[Danielle]

I would say you're not. Now, in 2000, 2024, when I would say, back in 2015, I would say you were the majority. I would say even I was more of the majority. I, I was always involved in political and social issues. It wasn't until, you know, 2014, 2015, for a multitude of reasons, that I really think I became hardcore engaged. You know, I, I, I, when I was younger, growing up. Look, I come from a very, very political family, right. I come from, from the day I was born. I knew my family's politics. I knew. I mean, it was just, you know, and it was unanimous in my family, there was no showing up at dinner. And some people have some views and some people have the other. In my school that I went to you, it was a little bit like that. Not much, but yet back then it was the. The divide wasn't as great.

[Adam]

Well, also, the parties are completely different than they were back when we were growing up. Yeah, yeah. The Democratic and Republican party is not what they were 30 years ago.

[Danielle]

Well, I. I disagree with you in the fact that the issues have changed, and so we have changed accordingly. And I would say on one side, the candidate has completely changed, and other people will say our candidate has completely changed. You know, so I'm aware that the optics from where you are looking are different.

[Adam]

I guess I'm coming from it at a point of, like, we've created this far right and this far left, and that's the divide. Right? Like, there's. No, it's not.

[Danielle]

No.

[Adam]

Okay.

[Danielle]

No, it is. No, you are. Look, I don't consider myself to be far anything. I don't think I am. I think if this was back in, you know, whatever year 20 years ago, I would be around the same with those issues. It is just that the issues have become, I believe these issues, you know, used to be what? You know, economy, women's rights, foreign. Foreign, you know, policy and everything. You know, there was dealing with the AIDS epidemic. There was dealing. So these. These things that were sort of universal in, you know, the AIDS epidemic was everywhere. How are we going to. To, you know, there are people who believed that people who had AIDS should be treated one way. There were people on the other side who believed they should be treated another way. But it was a universal problem. My personal thoughts are that today there are a lot of problems that have been created that do not exist. You know, they are the boogeyman who is supposedly hiding behind, you know, the closet, who is not really there. It's invisible. It doesn't exist. It's been created, you know, and obviously, I believe that both sides have, like, crazy issues. Right? Like. Like both sides are far right, far left, whatever you are. I think to. To not acknowledge at this point that there are obviously issues, crazy issues on both sides. But I believe that the. What leads me as a political person are the exact same things that would have led me 20 years ago.

[Adam]

Okay, that's fair. I mean, a small example would be, I guess, take the Republican Party 40 years ago or 30 years ago. You know, that was the business party, that was the wealth party. That was the, you know, the blue collar party, was the Democratic Party. It was for the working man, it was for the. And that's completely done on 180, you know, flip, where optically, I don't know what that means.

[Danielle]

Well, because the celebrities are all Democrats and everything. The policies are the same, but all.

[Adam]

The blue collar workers are voting Trump.

[Danielle]

Well, that's a whole. Now you're going to get into a whole different ballgame.

[Adam]

Understood.

[Danielle]

Right.

[Adam]

What, what? The layers that are there behind it, they're there. I get it. But the fact is it's flipped. Right. So that's one example of how the parties have changed. Right. So whatever the reasons are, it almost doesn't matter because that's what it is.

[Danielle]

Well, again, like you said, if you want to break it down by race and gender and all that stuff, it would be completely different.

[Adam]

But I'm on layer, the top layer here.

[Danielle]

Okay. And I'm going to try not to, you know, I know, look, I do know a lot. I do research all day. I do, you know, have a whole. But, but also I understand that most people don't. And you know, I know that. Look, if someone were to ask me about, you know, tariffs or inflation or stuff like that, for me to argue about that would be insanity. I don't know about that stuff.

[Adam]

Right. And see, that's where we, we're different. Where I have a skin in the game there of a little bit of an understanding of that kind of stuff. No, you don't agree with me.

[Danielle]

Sort of. Sort of. I still, everything, you know, is hearsay.

[Adam]

It's more like I said before, it's just I hear what they're saying and I form my own opinion. Yeah, it's not factually based. It's not statistically based.

[Danielle]

And that's, that's a big issue in this country fair. But, but what I'm saying is also, you know, and I'm sorry if I'm, I'm, if I'm seeming abrupt and everything. Look, I am going on, it happened on Tuesday. I've been trying to, you know, take care of my social media. I've been trying to take care of my kids. I've been trying to do all this stuff and I'm sure, as a lot of you are feeling no matter what, just because we've all lost sleep and everything, I'm exhausted. You know, I've been arguing a lot with people. You know, I've been trying to figure out the Boundaries of what's right and what's wrong. What do I talk about? What do I not talk about? It's been really draining.

[Adam]

I want to get into that a little bit.

[Danielle]

Yeah.

[Adam]

Where we kind of disagree on. Not the election or anything like that. You are so emotionally involved in politics as of late. Right. As of the last 10 years, eight years. Why? I love the fact that you care about other people, our nation, the way people are treated, all of the, you know, everything that matters for everybody. Almost nothing. This is gonna sound.

[Danielle]

Boy.

[Adam]

Yeah, this is.

[Danielle]

Yeah. This is not even a good idea.

[Adam]

Almost nothing affects you directly. Am I wrong?

[Danielle]

100% wrong. You could not be more wrong.

[Adam]

Okay, so explain to me about.

[Danielle]

Give me an issue and I'll explain it.

[Adam]

I don't know. You're so emotionally involved in this. You're so. You're out on Facebook and you're posting and you're.

[Danielle]

Well, I'm doing that right now, and I have. I never do that.

[Adam]

I know you don't, and I think it was a bad idea for you to do it in the first place because you're fighting with people and.

[Danielle]

No, I. You know why I'm fighting with people, number one. And again, I didn't want to go here, but we can stop a lot of people who use certain issues to say that they're voting a certain way.

[Adam]

Right.

[Danielle]

And they. And they have decided that they are the only voice on those issues.

[Adam]

So what are you going to accomplish.

[Danielle]

By holding people accountable? And that is the whole problem, is that we don't hold people accountable. We say, don't discuss it at. At the dinner table. Don't discuss it with your friends. Don't discuss it with your family. Keep politics out of it.

[Adam]

Okay.

[Danielle]

But do you know what a huge problem that is? Okay, so in my opinion, if you're.

[Adam]

On Facebook arguing with five people, you're not going to change their minds. You're not going to. You're not going to do anything like that. What are. What is your goal? What's going to be. They're. They're held accountable to who? To you?

[Danielle]

They're held accountable to look in the mirror and. No, no, let me talk.

[Adam]

Okay?

[Danielle]

Right now. Right now, they're not. They're not feeling anything about it. Okay. I have a gay daughter. You have a gay daughter. Well, okay, but. Okay, so. Yes, you do. I am a woman. I. I know very, very much so that the abortion that they are talking about is not the abortion that we all need to be talking about as medical care, as Being proven to be connected to every single issue in a woman's life, her livelihood, her economics, her mental health, even if you never have an abortion, the access to it opens up all kinds of doors that people don't understand. And to me, I can't, I cannot sit back and allow that to be something that someone says, stop murdering babies or whatever, because that is not it. And, and, and if I, If I allow them to do that. And look, you're talking about. This has been two weeks that I've been. But I haven't done this for the last 10 years. Once in a while, I post something.

[Adam]

No, no, no, I know I, I said that, but I see how it's affecting you emotionally and around, you know, our household and our, all our beings.

[Danielle]

But these are people. I'm not out there talking. Look, on my platform, I post one or two times that I'm maybe interacting with people I don't know. Again, I don't think. I can't not, you know, talk about my platform. I, I know these people. I know what they think. I understand why they're. Look, I also know that, that there are good people out there who have reasons and who are misguided. All these things. I, I cannot, I will not be. If I'd gone into this election knowing that I had allowed people to use a mask, use an excuse, like people say to me all the time, you know, it's just politics, right? Or, you know, this. This is my issue. How can you not be voting on this issue? And I get that it's hard to, you know, when there's one issue you're so passionate about. But what, what people don't understand is that every issue is enmeshed. There is no one singular issue. And, and so when I see people who I know are good people and everything, and I see them posting things that I know are so incorrect and not based in any kind of fact. I do, I hold myself accountable, especially right before an election, to put information out there and to say, okay, if you want to vote for this person, don't make this the issue, because it's not the issue you think it is. And so for me, it is very much, you know, I'm sorry, but it is very much a part of my identity. And, and I am very passionate about it. I'm not one of those people who just decides, you know, that I'm going to turn on the news and then, you know, whatever I heard on the news or whatever I heard on a podcast or whatever that is going to be My. I do the work.

[Adam]

Well, no, you have to take what you hear on a podcast or the news or whatever and then research that.

[Danielle]

Correct.

[Adam]

If I go fact check everything that you hear.

[Danielle]

Because, look, I read books, I read articles, I.

[Adam]

But also to turn back on to you what I said, what you said to me. You're very privileged to be able to do that.

[Danielle]

Why? Who doesn't.

[Adam]

Who has the time to sit and read books about this stuff or research it? You know, research.

[Danielle]

Oh, come on. They have enough time to be arguing with everybody, but they don't have time.

[Adam]

Three seconds.

[Danielle]

No, it doesn't.

[Adam]

They take a hateful thing.

[Danielle]

Are you kidding me? They're arguing all day long, but they're.

[Adam]

Not informed right out there like an idiot. Because they're. They don't.

[Danielle]

There you go.

[Adam]

But.

[Danielle]

So let's say I put something out there and it's factual and I don't.

[Adam]

Even if it doesn't change their mind, the time to do the research that you want to do.

[Danielle]

Exactly.

[Adam]

Most people don't have that.

[Danielle]

Exactly. So let me. Let me show them fair.

[Adam]

They shouldn't be doing what they're doing because it's fucking bullshit stuff that they're posting out there.

[Danielle]

That is why I can't allow it. And so when I see someone who I know is a good, kind, smart person and they are misguided and they are listening to snippets of, you know, certain people or certain news or. I cannot allow it to be out there, especially when it affects people I love. And again, this is. Look, I don't do this all the time. I am not. I hadn't been on Facebook in months and months before that, except to maybe, you know, post a picture of the kids in sports or. But I also. I can't let that go. And I think to say you're privileged to be able to research is bullshit. I really do. I think everybody has. Can take the time. It's how you use your time. Right? The people out there who are watching one network all the time and it's on in the background all the time, can be listening to other things, too. And. And, you know, and there are times, you know, in our house, I put on a certain network, we put on a certain network to see what they're saying. And so I want to know what's going on. What are they saying? And then I want to know, wait a minute, is that based in fact?

[Adam]

I do that just for fun.

[Danielle]

Well, I also want to see. I don't want to just be in my Little shadow.

[Adam]

What everybody else is hearing.

[Danielle]

Yes.

[Adam]

And how are they forming their opinions based upon what they're hearing?

[Danielle]

Absolutely. And if something to me, because I do know that both sides are full of shit a lot of the time, but I want to know.

[Adam]

I never heard you say that before. I'm a little impressed.

[Danielle]

And because you don't let me talk about it, we're not allowed to have these conversations.

[Adam]

Well, that's not true.

[Danielle]

Yes, it is.

[Adam]

No. For the last three weeks, that's all.

[Danielle]

You know, I talk and you get annoyed a little bit. Yes.

[Adam]

Yeah. Wait. All right. I have a question for you.

[Danielle]

Yeah.

[Adam]

Okay. But hold that thought. We'll be right back.

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[Adam]

So my question for you. Is there anything you found most frustrating or interesting about this specific election that just happened last week? You want to think about it?

[Danielle]

Yeah. I mean, I think the media, all of it. I think that, you know, first of all, I think that there are certain people who are in charge of the media who I don't understand how they haven't been held accountable. I do not understand it.

[Adam]

You know, you're talking both sides.

[Danielle]

Yes.

[Adam]

Yeah.

[Danielle]

Yes and no. Okay. I think there is a huge difference. And I think if we sat down and, you know, and had these conversations and stuff and had these, like. I think that candidates should be doing. All candidates should be doing focus groups with people, right? Like, get people in a room together and talk. And I'm not talking like there are trained people who can have conversations. And, you know, look, I know that there are voters, so many voters out there who are. Who really, really, really just want to do right by their families. I also know that they aren't. They're misguided. They're not doing the right research. They're not doing the right work. They're not talking to the. Maybe they don't have access to talk to the right people. Right. We spend all this time, you know, with saying they're not doing enough interviews and they're not doing enough this and they're not doing enough of that. And I Know that there are, you know, town halls and everything where you can ask questions. But. But to be able to say, okay, what is your number one concern and what you never hear in the media on both sides, in my opinion, a lot of the time is actual, factual data, statistics. Why is it that. That, you know, that immigration has been brought up 50,000 times, and yet nobody mentions the actual statistics? Oh, there's violence, there's women being raped. There's this, there's that. Not once have I heard. And I listen everywhere have I heard people, you know, somebody. A journalist, a person, you know, a politician say, actually, here is the data. And, you know, here are three studies, totally separate studies, who have similar findings, you know, not based. These are. These are not partisan studies, and they're all different. And here is the research that we can take from those. And all they say is, I'm gonna fix the border. I'm gonna do. On both sides, they both said that, I'm gonna fix it. I'm gonna do it. Boba. And I know there was a bill and all this stuff, and they keep going back to that, but, you know, people don't give a. Obviously.

[Adam]

Can I tell you why? And one of my biggest frustrations with what's happening is statistics can be manipulated in any. Any way that they want to be.

[Danielle]

You know, I understand that polls are.

[Adam]

The biggest thing that we still do.

[Danielle]

Absolutely.

[Adam]

During these.

[Danielle]

Oh, I will never listen to another poll in my entire life. They can take a poll and shove it up their ass.

[Adam]

Right. But here, you know, I. I didn't say anything to you the entire time during this because you were so convinced Kamala was winning and the women were coming out and all the reasons. I knew the whole time Trump was winning by a landslide, which he did. I never said anything I didn't want to know.

[Danielle]

I know a lot of people.

[Adam]

Like, I didn't want to upset you, and, like, I know how emotionally invested you were into this thing. I knew she was not going to win. And one of the reasons is for.

[Danielle]

People who voted for him and I.

[Adam]

I go back, maybe it was a year ago, and I quote here. Not. Not a direct quote, but Bill Maher, he said, biden is going to become Ruth Bader Biden. And that's exactly what happens. He stayed too long. He ran the race, and he dropped out too late, and then they threw Kamala in.

[Danielle]

All right, okay, I understand.

[Adam]

Look, if. Stop. Wait. No. If he had bowed out a year ago, we could have. Who knows who.

[Danielle]

No, you're wrong there. You're There was nobody who could beat him. Nobody. Nobody who could beat him.

[Adam]

Who was Obama before we all found out who Obama is? Nobody. As far as the public was concerned.

[Danielle]

There was no Trump during Obama.

[Adam]

If Obama and Trump ran today, you think he would lose?

[Danielle]

Are you kidding me? I don't think there is and I know people will disagree. I don't think there is anyone who could have beat him. He had the entire who could. Right wing media who couldn't beat Trump.

[Adam]

Yes, but Biden did.

[Danielle]

Yeah. Okay, first of all, it was a completely different thing. Completely, completely different. They have had four more years to pump information out there. Okay. It was also post Covid. So people were. Look, I thought people were going to show up for Roe v. Wade, but.

[Adam]

Right, so we agree on time. Time is a factor. If Biden had.

[Danielle]

No.

[Adam]

Had gotten out.

[Danielle]

Yes, it is.

[Adam]

And said, I'm not running again. They could have been working on who they're going to run two years earlier.

[Danielle]

Look, I think the Democrats made a thousand mistakes. I am not going to lie about that. I think, I always say this. I think that as a party we need to do some fucking deep reflection. A hundred percent, 100%, everything as far as you know. Look, I think Kamala, I don't. I think she ran a phenomenal campaign.

[Adam]

I agree. I think she did.

[Danielle]

I think she did one. I hope, I hope and pray that she feels proud. I do not blame her at all. Look, did she say some stupid fucking things? Yes. But you know what? Also the, the like, like Van Jones, who was somebody who I don't listen to often and everything. I think, whatever, I could take him or leave him. But he said, Kamala has to be flawless. Trump gets to be lawless. And it's true. Right? She said a few stupid things in her campaign. Really stupid. Right. When she was on the View and she said, you know, they said, what? What could you have done differently? And in that moment, who knows what was going on? And she said nothing. Obviously. Stupid fucking thing to say. But then, you know, he's saying things like eating the dogs and eating the cats and everyone's like, oh, but it is happening. Right, Right, right, exactly. So, you know, she was, she was in an insurmountable battle. Do I think she was the perfect candidate? I don't know. I don't know if there was any perfect candidate right now. We've had two phenomenal, smart, brilliant, successful, dedicated women who have both not passed. And you have men now on the Internet laughing about it, saying a woman will never be President, Do I know that a lot of men would vote for a woman? Absolutely. Are these messages out there for the 18 to 26 year old male, you know, population? Yes, Those are the TikTok sound bites. Those are the, you know, the Instagram sound bites, the, the Twitter sound bites that Elon now has 100% control over. And again, I don't know who could have won. I just know that their, the guardrails on everything is off. Right. Look, like I said, why were there no focus groups? Why are people not, not putting together things to talk to one another? I mean, you know, I canvassed for weeks. My nephew was a fucking hero with all of this. I am not blaming anyone except to say we're not having real discussions. You know what I mean? And so that is one of the reasons why I, I hate the fact that we say, don't discuss it with people. Don't discuss it. And I do know also what happens when you discuss it. So.

[Adam]

But that's changed too. Like everything now is politics. Where before you were talking about, you know, what are their tax proposals, what's inflation like, what's, what are they going to do about, you know, those kinds of things.

[Danielle]

Look, when you have people on both sides politicized, when you have on one side, people saying, you know, the celebrities are on the Epstein and Diddy list, and that's, you know, on the right side, they're saying all these celebrities are only endorsing her because they're on the Epstein and Diddy list. And you have Democrats pushing celebrities, you know, more than they're pushing anything else, which is super unrelatable. And you have people on the other side saying things like, you know, my biggest stance is transgender athletes, which make up 0.0008% of the athletic population. And it comes down to 20 female trans for every 500,000 people.

[Adam]

Does anybody say that's their one stance?

[Danielle]

Megyn Kelly's entire platform is that, and she has millions of female listeners. Her entire platform is keeping bathrooms and sports safe.

[Adam]

Okay?

[Danielle]

Meanwhile, there has never been a proven instance of a woman being attacked by a trans woman athlete. There have been cases. They have all been thrown out by, by conservative judges. It is not an issue. It's ridiculous, right?

[Adam]

Yeah, I guess it's because people think about the concept of it, which is just ridiculous. But if it's not really happening and people are just throwing it out there because the concept does exist.

[Danielle]

And let's talk about, how about, how about all the kids in inner city neighborhoods who could be phenomenal Female athletes, but they don't have any funding, they don't have any resources, they don't have any time or effort. You know, like, they don't have anybody coming in and saying, hey, let's give you, you know, I see the potential in you. Let's do this. I'm sure it happens once in a while.

[Adam]

That is changing though, because, I mean.

[Danielle]

No, this issue is, he says is going to be one of his first issues. His first which. I was talking about trans athletes.

[Adam]

No, no, I was talking about women's sports. That's changing, right? Like the wnba.

[Danielle]

No, no, no, no. That's a whole other conversation. That's what I thought you were going to. Okay, no, I'm saying if you.

[Adam]

Sure.

[Danielle]

Are there problems in women's sports? Absolutely. Is this one of them? Fucking no. And stop making it your entire platform when there are so many more important issues. You want to keep your kids safe from sports? Fine. Go, you know, go find in your community, in your privileged community, somewhere that has, you know, jet. Where they're, where they're keeping. Not that I think it's okay, but like, really.

[Adam]

Wait, what?

[Danielle]

20 athletes out of over 500,000 identify as trans and this is your issue? Like those are the things where we can't take them seriously. And, and, and, and, and there hasn't been any evidence of, you know, trans kids are getting beat up all over the place. Trans women, I'm sorry, Cis. Cisgendered women are having to prove that they're women now. They have to go in if they look like they're too mus. You know, they perform too well and everything. There have been cases of them actually having to go into doctor's offices and get a note from the doctor that they checked them and they actually are a woman. So these are the things that I can't. You want to have a conversation about trans and why you believe it or don't, I'll have a conversation with you. Tell me your feelings about it. I'm probably going to tell you to go fuck yourself. But at the same time, it's a conversation. Fine, but this bullshit's gotta stop. And that's where I get crazed, because those are the things that I can't take seriously.

[Adam]

But is it more of things like that? Maybe there's other examples that are similar. I don't know. I'm just feeding off of what you just said. Where? Look, I don't. It's not an issue. If it was, I'd be against it. Right. So I don't think trans people should be playing in, you know, the gender sports.

[Danielle]

Yeah, let's not even go.

[Adam]

Okay, fine, but is that just a small example? Are there other things that they're just saying, this is step one, what's step two? What's step three? That they're using this as a platform to make sure that that doesn't get too out of control.

[Danielle]

I guess you could say immigration. But again, you know, I, I have.

[Adam]

Okay.

[Danielle]

You know, it's not even worth going into.

[Adam]

Right.

[Danielle]

Again. And look, Democrats, you know, whether or not Trump is a fascist or is it a fascist, was that really what people wanted to know? People didn't give a shit. People don't want to hear it. That's not what people want to hear, that Trump's a fascist. They want to hear, what the fuck policies do you have as a Democrat that are going to help me? And so, you know, look, it's fucking.

[Adam]

Frustrating, so move on.

[Danielle]

Okay, sorry.

[Adam]

Move on.

[Danielle]

Okay.

[Adam]

Let's go to a lighter subject here, which it really is not. How would you feel? We got married 21 years ago. Two. Five.

[Danielle]

We just, we just celebrated our. What, what year is it? 20. 20. 22nd anniversary.

[Adam]

22Nd. Okay.

[Danielle]

Been together 25.

[Adam]

You were not this politically active when we got married. Let's say I was different from you politically. Maybe you knew it in the beginning, maybe you didn't, because you. That wasn't.

[Danielle]

I think you just didn't give a shit. I don't think you.

[Adam]

No, no. I'm using a hypothetical here. Let's say.

[Danielle]

No, but I'm just saying in general, I don't think you really had a stance or the other.

[Adam]

No, but let's say I did. Let's say I was opposite politically from you. What. Where would we be now? How would you. Would we be married?

[Danielle]

No. No, I would not. No, I can't.

[Adam]

So politics is your fine line of you can't be with.

[Danielle]

Oh, that's one of them. But absolutely.

[Adam]

Well, obviously there's absolutely.

[Danielle]

But absolutely. I, you know, I. And maybe I would have said differently before. No, I wouldn't have. I would have never said differently. I think that there are certain things. Look, I want my kids to, you know, I've said it before. I don't give a shit who they bring home. Somebody who treats you well, you know, who is going to show up for you, who is going to be a wonderful partner. I don't care who. Who it is. I, I believe at this point, again, I think there are a lot of people out there who are very, very, very, very good people and aren't purposefully doing these things. But I do believe that we have. We have crossed the line of politics into morality.

[Adam]

Yes.

[Danielle]

And humanity.

[Adam]

That's what I was saying before, where everything now is politicized, no matter what.

[Danielle]

The issue, I'm saying. So, okay, so I saw. I found a. A. A Gallup poll, you know, and you can see, even right now, how charged it is. And also, you know, I think that there are groups now who obviously always existed, but they weren't allowed to exist. So now they, you know, they have a voice, rightfully so. And so issues that were never issues are coming to light now. Right. You know, LGBTQ people had to hide it. They still have to hide it. You know, people like all the things that. That people say, oh, this wasn't a thing, and this way, trans wasn't a thing. And it wasn't. Of course not. You would have gotten fucking killed. You still get killed. So, you know, so that. That's a big thing for me. But Gallup asked, in 1958, okay, if you had a daughter of marriageable age, would you prefer she marry a Democrat or Republican? All things being equal, okay, the results. 18% of Americans said they would prefer their daughter to MARRY A Democrat. 10% said Republican. Right. So combined, 28% said they actually care which party their daughter marries. But the rest didn't care. Right. So that's some kind of math.

[Adam]

But you wanted the difference.

[Danielle]

78%.

[Adam]

What was the original.

[Danielle]

So 28. No. So 28 said they prefer either a.

[Adam]

Democrat or 72 of people don't care.

[Danielle]

Yeah, yeah. In 1958. Right. So you, you know. You know, right there. Politics, first of all, no social media. Not everybody had televisions, you know, all that stuff. But the speed of. Of politics.

[Adam]

But that was at the point also where people watch the news for the news. Like, what they said that was legit. Like.

[Danielle]

Well, there were also four issues. You know what I mean? There was. There weren't all these. You know, there wasn't all this stuff that. That had to be created and embellished on both sides and everything, you know?

[Adam]

Well, maybe. Yes and no. You know, we're dealing with women's rights and black rights and Jews and Asians. Like, this is the 50s, you know, this is when.

[Danielle]

Okay, so you're talking about human rights. That's. That's an issue, you know, like.

[Adam]

Yeah, but I think they were handled independently of, you know, from each other. Right. Weren't they? Like, I don't think it Was clumped in as, like, human issues. Right?

[Danielle]

I mean, I, I, I. It was segregation and Jim Crow. What it was. That's a whole other episode.

[Adam]

Like I said, I don't know what the. I'm talking about.

[Danielle]

That's the frustrating thing to have, you know, like that. I think that. And this is. Look, this is mostly. This is an issue that I believe about, especially, you know, about black women. First of all. You know, black women are. First of all, they showed up for Kamala. You know, 92 or 94% voted for Kamala. Okay. Of black women, Jewish women, I would be very proud to say 88% of us voted for Kamala. We've always, you know, swung Democrat. We don't. We don't swing regularly. Some of us do. But just a little Jewish sex humor there.

[Adam]

Finally. A little bit of humor.

[Danielle]

Yeah, I know. I knew. I know. This is gonna be a hard one for humor. So black women, again, you know, black women have always had to. They're. They're the one. They're out there. They're researching. They. Because they have to. For their kids, they have to. For their livelihood. They're doing all the work. So when, you know. Because when you say why, it doesn't affect you. Of course it does. And so for black women, you know, when people are always saying, you know, well, what. Why do you need this? And why do you need that? And black women have to fucking explain it to everybody. And it's a little bit like, fuck, you do your own research, right? People are showing up at black women's accounts at their, you know, and saying, teach me. You've done all the research. Teach me. And it's like, at what point are you like, you know, oh, my God, like, no, just do the work yourself. And a little bit, it's like talking to you is like, that a little bit. Not for me. And again, I'm not in any way trying to compare myself to what a black woman goes through, but on a different level. It's like, you know, I'm exhausted from having not just you in general, right? People will say to me, prove it to me. And I'm like, you. You can do the same research. I can. Fine. I will tell you. But then when you look at me and say it's all fake, when I've given you actual data, what do you do with that? You know, what do you do with that?

[Adam]

I know. I think it's very complicated too. It's like, where's this data coming from? Is it legit? Like, has it been manipulated. Like, where is. Like do people.

[Danielle]

We've seen a lot of it live. We've seen a lot of it live. Pictures and stuff. Fine. You know, you're gonna send me a picture of, of a, A celebrity with Jeffrey Epstein or a president with Jeffrey Epstein or whatever. Of course I'm gonna. I'm gonna take it with a very, very, very, very, very tiny grain of salt these days.

[Adam]

Now you have to take everything you see with a grain of salt or with skepticism or something. Because AI, everything live doesn't mean live or real anymore.

[Danielle]

All right, all right, all right. Now you're getting it. That's. That's annoying. I mean, we've seen the same speeches, we've seen the debates. None of that is doctored. That's in real time. We saw him say the, the live debates.

[Adam]

That's what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, okay.

[Danielle]

All that live. Okay.

[Adam]

Absolutely.

[Danielle]

I could prove my point with any issue, you know, unless it's statistically based with live footage, there's nothing out there that I'm going to say, take my word for it, nor do I ever.

[Adam]

All right, okay, all right. Calm down.

[Danielle]

No, fucking not gonna calm down. God damn it. I'm perimenopausal and it's post election.

[Adam]

Let's go take pee breaks. Okay? You have to pee? I have to pee. We'll be right back. Applebee's has a brand new Big Easy menu.

[Danielle]

It features all your Bourbon street favorites.

[Adam]

And what in one new menu, plus a new Bourbon street chicken and chicken and andouille sausage pennies down at just 11. Limited time, price participation and selection may vary. All right. Yeah, we're back.

[Danielle]

All right. I've regrouped a little bit, but I want to say a few things. First of all, because it's going to haunt me. We're talking about abortion before and you know, I was saying it's not just about murdering babies because that is what a lot of people think and that's why I threw that out there. I. I also know that there are a lot of women and men who's, you know, moms, sisters, girlfriends, wives have had abortions out there. I want to make it very clear, I think that abortion should be accessible for anyone, you know, for. For all the reasons and that I see everyone out there who's had. And I am on your side 100%, 110%. And I see you. And I know that anybody, I promise you, anybody you ask has not made that decision lightly. And it is not something that they Just stopped thinking about. Because society doesn't allow them to just stop thinking about it. And so, you know, when I say all those things, it's attached to all these, you know, economics of all women. And it's a slippery slope, right. To take away rights. You don't know what it's like to have your rights taken away. You have no idea what it's like to have your rights taken away. And my daughter's a lesbian. Yes. But let's not Forget that now 13 states have no exceptions for rape and incest. So 63,000 women. Since the ban has gone into place or the overturning of roe v. Wade, 63,000 women have carried rapists, babies. So I just, you know, on all levels, I want people to understand that it is not just. It is not just a decision that, that women, no woman, takes it lightly. None. And let's not even go into the 8th, 9th month fucking debacle, because that's insane. And I won't give it any kind of justification. But. But also, I want to say something because I know I'm getting heated and I know that it frustrates you, and I get that. And people out there are probably like, dude, leave him the fuck alone. But I also know there are women out there who understand that, look, the election is a huge mental load on women, especially regardless of who, you know, who you voted for, whatever. We. At the same time, for instance, I can only speak personally, but you know, we have a sick dog, right, who now I have to take to the vet to get all kinds of stuff. We got our own financial shit. We got, you know, our own family stuff going on. We have all the other things. And then on top of it, I have the election that I. I care so deeply about, and then I have to convince you that my rights and everything are something worth caring about. And then here you say it doesn't affect you. Is really, really.

[Adam]

I didn't say it doesn't affect you if you. No, what I said was how much of what's happening and all these causes and issues that you're talking about.

[Danielle]

And that's so frustrating. That's what's so frustrating. First of all, why do we. Why, why are we voting? Just based on what affects number one.

[Adam]

And I said, I also said I think it's wonderful to worry about the rest of the.

[Danielle]

But I know I frustrate you so much with it.

[Adam]

Well, yeah, you do.

[Danielle]

And. And that's. I think that is so unfair.

[Adam]

Well, because it. If. All right, so.

[Danielle]

And I'm only having this conversation because I know you're not, you know, you're not a singular husband doing this. You're right. I know that so many women are out there thinking the same thing. I am that. Why, why, why do, why do I have to explain it? Why do I have to.

[Adam]

The only thing that's frustrating about it is, is that it affects all of us. Because of your mental state about what's going on.

[Danielle]

I think, I think our kids would also. First of all, Mia thanks me on the Daily for being so in tune to it that she knows that I'm protecting her and that she knows that I see her and that it's worth it to me to make sure that she's protected. I'll show you the texts. I mean, she constantly sends me texts.

[Adam]

Yeah, no, me too.

[Danielle]

And she's your daughter. And number two, you know, there are a lot of other things online to look, my dad's a doctor. Right. I grew up with a doctor. Wherever you feel about vaccines, I grew up with a very, very conscientious, you know, very gentle, loving, change making doctor. As a father, to see things like vaccines on the line, to think that doesn't affect you. And I know people have lots of. And I'm not talking about all the vaccines and how you space them out or whatever, but to see all of that so readily challenged, you know, and to bring up vaccines is like you fucking shoot yourself in the head. Right? Like you can't have that argument with anybody. But it is hard as a person who, you know, grew up understanding, you know, from a doctor's perspective. From my mom who worked in the inner city with, you know, volunteering all her time, she worked with pregnant teenagers for years because nobody would help them. And you know, she helped them get their GED and she helped them getting, you know, their education. But all that stuff, like I've seen people do the work and I've been part of that work, you know, and I've taken. Our kids have gone to marches. Ian, our middle son, our 16 year old son. I mean, I showed you. I got texts from moms saying to me, you know, because all this shit is going on out there now with Nick Fuentes is in your body, my choice and everything. Moms texted me and said my daughter didn't want to go to school today, but she was going to find Ian and you know, and have him like talk to her and let her know that she's safe. And to me, there's nothing that can make me prouder. I don't give a shit. Look, I don't want to say I don't give a shit about his grades and everything. Of course I do. But to me, that is the biggest accomplishment of my life. To create children who are aware, who understand, and who want to make a difference in the world, even if it's just in their little nook of the world.

[Adam]

Well, we've always said since we started this thing, you know, our main goal with our children is to make them good human beings.

[Danielle]

Okay, but. But how do you think that happens? By showing you care. By showing it's important.

[Adam]

Of. Of course.

[Danielle]

By showing up.

[Adam]

I agree with you. I agree with you. How's that?

[Danielle]

I don't know. You've been getting pretty mad at me.

[Adam]

I'm not mad at you.

[Danielle]

Yeah, you get mad at me. The other day, I was trying to show you something. Look, we have family who.

[Adam]

Listen, it's inundating. It's like when it's constant and it's a lot.

[Danielle]

But it was an election week.

[Adam]

I understand. I'm just. Listen, a lot's a lot. You know, election week or not, or whatever week it is. It's when it's.

[Danielle]

No, I don't think I do this on the regular. I do. I talk about it more than most people. Sure. Am I more passionate than most people? Sure.

[Adam]

And. And I think it's your approach and it's the way you talk about it and it's the passion behind it. And listen, there's good behind it, too. I get that. I understand.

[Danielle]

You don't hear me. You're so busy saying, you know, it's annoying, it's frustrating. It doesn't affect. Affect us. I don't.

[Adam]

Wait a minute. First of all, how many times have I said that to you over the last three weeks?

[Danielle]

Yeah, twice. No, the looks that you give me and everything are. Yes, yes, yes. And the other night, I was just. I basically, before we planned this episode, because I knew we had to do it, I was basically like, all right, I'm not going to talk to him about it anymore. But how do I do that?

[Adam]

I. I'm not saying you can't talk to me about it, but when we talk about it, it. It's an intense situation. It's like. It's not a discussion. It's. You say, you know, I don't think you wanted the facts.

[Danielle]

I don't think you want a discussion. I think you want me to pretend it doesn't exist.

[Adam]

No, not at all. I think a discussion would be healthier.

[Danielle]

I I, but, but you don't give me a chance for a discussion.

[Adam]

Well, Big, I, I think how do.

[Danielle]

You have a discussion with somebody who hasn't researched anything?

[Adam]

Okay, fair.

[Danielle]

Right.

[Adam]

So how can I, right, Like our discussions. Are you just being intense with your facts and your, and your, your, what's it called? Your. Whatever it is.

[Danielle]

My what?

[Adam]

I don't know.

[Danielle]

Look, it is, it's hard. And I know a lot of women out there feel, even if they're not as passionate as I am and everything. And I know there are a lot of. Look, you. Our family text chain with my family is for the past three weeks, it's all political, but they are also out there doing the work. You know, they have been. This is not a family that sits on the couch and just watches TV and says, you know, I'm gonna just post something on Facebook. And that's my job. Except maybe my mom, but like, but she did the work all the way back in the day, so I can't even. She's 82 years old. Like, give her some fucking slack. But, but I believe that the people who are out there really doing the work. I think that was one of the frustrating things with me too was we were on the ground in Pennsylvania. I had friends on the ground in Wisconsin, I had friends on the ground in Michigan. I was interacting with all of them, talking to people and Ian was on the ground doing stuff. The Funniest Jonah, our 13 year old, he came canvassing with us one day and I said to him, because his history teachers, I don't, they don't. She doesn't say what position, you know, which side she's on or whatever, but she's a phenomenal history teacher and she, you know, she, she really, really like teaches them fact based information and I'm so impressed with how she does it. But I said to her, you need to tell her that you volunteered today, you know, for like 40 minutes canvassing. And he said, I didn't volunteer. I was forced. I was like, oh, okay, well, we won't bring you back then. You know, like he, he made it clear he's not ready, he's not interested. And I was like, that, that's fair. I'm not gonna force you if you're not, you know. And he know, look, me as his best friend and big sister, he knows more than most 13 year olds. But, but you know, I, I think that the mental load of it is, is I'm not just dealing with the election right now. We're all, all of us Aren't just dealing with the election right now. Right. Where it's on top of all the other stuff and, and now the looking to the future of. What are we doing about the holidays? I'm not saying just us. Like I'm saying in general, you know, and it's usually the woman who is the one who has to be like, look, I don't know if it's a good idea for our mental health, for our kids, self esteem, for our kids understanding that they're safe and protected to go somewhere with somebody who has voted against their rights or somebody who says things or posts things that are, you know, making fun of stuff that is important to them or. Or that's part of their identity. Like, we have. We. We carry that burden. And I, you know, and I am from a place where I need. I want to protect my kids. I want to protect my kids. Not just my kids. I want to protect, you know, a lot of other kids. But I am the one thinking about that stuff to you because you're saying, oh, what's the big deal? Wait, I have to take over?

[Adam]

When did I say what's the big deal?

[Danielle]

Well, how does it affect you? And why. Why are you so passionate, so frustrating?

[Adam]

There are things obviously that affect us personally. I get that.

[Danielle]

Right. But then when I try to try to show you things, and you. I could see you're like. And you said to me, the other. You just said to me yesterday, let's maybe just put that in the past. Let's get over that now.

[Adam]

Well, no, because you. With your Facebook interactions, I was kind of like, when that needs to be okay.

[Danielle]

But these are people we know in real life. I wasn't showing you something from somebody. No stranger.

[Adam]

I understand.

[Danielle]

Someone who were expected to be at family events with.

[Adam]

No, there was more than that. There was just like secondary friends or whatever.

[Danielle]

No, when I show you. Sure.

[Adam]

You have.

[Danielle]

I showed you one thing that was from a secondary friend.

[Adam]

Okay, but. But you're. You're out there on Facebook putting these things like.

[Danielle]

No, I put out a post saying thank you so much to all the volunteers because I got a lot of people to volunteer and what's the best way to get through to them? I went through Facebook and I said, thank you so much for volunteering. He jumped in, well, no, I think that post.

[Adam]

No, but your posts are. They're not as simplified as that. They're more.

[Danielle]

Absolutely.

[Adam]

With more.

[Danielle]

Not that one. Not that one.

[Adam]

I don't even remember that one.

[Danielle]

That one was literally, thank you to everybody. We tried our best. Thank you to everybody.

[Adam]

I'm just concerned about your mental health. Yeah, that's all I care.

[Danielle]

But the best thing you could do for my mental health, I think, and for. I'm not, look, I'm not going to speak for all the women out there. You can give your husband a nod or a shake either way that no, honey, I don't give a shit, don't worry about it. Or a nod of yes. It would be really, really nice to feel seen and to understood that we, we want to, we want to know that you guys like get it and get that. But it's a different fight for us.

[Adam]

Okay?

[Danielle]

But it will always be a different fight for us.

[Adam]

For the most part, you know, we're on the same side. We're together in this fight. We're fighting the same way.

[Danielle]

I know that you voted the same way as me.

[Adam]

Isn't that like the top of the. Like, that's what matters, right?

[Danielle]

Very important. Like I said, look, this isn't something that we went away this summer. I wasn't like, you know, looking at the election stuff all the time. Like I wasn't immersed in it the last few weeks. I've been immersed in it and I am immersed in it with my family otherwise. Right. I can't not be. We're all super passionate. And again, like I said, I, you know, my sister in law works for the environment. She's super dedicated. My brother works for transportation. All of these things that we show up and I think we deserve to have a stake in it because we do the work. And my family has always done the work. Has always. Even Mia, from the time she was a little girl has done the work. I mean, yes, with my influence. But again, Jonah said he wasn't interested. Great, go do your thing. And to be on and, and our kid, look, our kids have friends who have differing views. So obviously we know Ian's had discussions with them, right? They're kids, they're formulating their ideas. I love their parents. I would never say to them, unless it was a we don't like gay people or whatever. I wouldn't say to them. You know, the guy who came on my Facebook and interjected and started saying stuff was our son's best friend's. You know, his kid was our son's best friend for a long time. Never did I say, you can't be friends with. They didn't talk politics. But I'm also proud of my kids for being vocal and I want them to speak up and I want Them to tell what they know. And if. And Ian said after the election, he didn't want to go to school the next day. And I said, go. And he had some really good conversations on both sides. Right. And they were respectful of each other, and I'm all for that. However, when someone in your life who, you know starts spreading, first of all, everybody has different things. If someone just votes against your rights and you feel like you need to cut them off, I get it 100%. I am anything that you want to do. I'm saying, for me, I feel like I am someone who can bridge that. You know, I posted something about Trump and all the things I hate about him. Like I said, almost 12, 000 people left. Fine, you don't want to hear it. And then, you know, their thing was, you're. You're lying. You're lying. I can't compete with that. I can't have a conversation with that. You're lying. You're lying. Right. It's different. But again, there are people who have posted very harmful things, spreading misinformation, and people are always telling me I'm spreading misinformation, and then I send them facts, and they are. There's no. They're nowhere to be seen. But facts is different than opinions. And, and, and when you post something like, you know, laughing at someone's pronouns or laughing at, you know, certain things. No, I'm sorry. There's no coming back from that. Right. And. And I don't want my kids exposed to that.

[Adam]

But that's what I was saying before, too. Where politics has changed, where everything is now political. We were not arguing about these kinds of things 40 years ago.

[Danielle]

Right? But, but because people were, Were. They had to hide. And now why is it.

[Adam]

But why is it political? Isn't it more just, oh, my God, human common sense, you know, like you would think.

[Danielle]

But it's not. Are you kidding me?

[Adam]

Like, why are, like, why are politicians involved with. Oh, if gays should be like, oh, you know, okay, or like, okay, but it is.

[Danielle]

I don't realize that that's the problem, because they are. Look, they make fun of people for having pronouns in their bios, right? Whether or not you think people should have pro. Who the care. My thing is, if it doesn't extend past you, who can? Look, I don't, I don't understand it. Why. Why are we getting involved with who people sleep with? They want to take away all kinds of rights. And it's like, if it doesn't affect you, why are you Taking it away. Why? And that's where I sort of draw the line. And again, I know there are so many people out there who are rational people who are willing to have a conversation. Great. Let's have a conversation. I know you're a good person. I know. You know, I know you probably could teach me things, too, you know. Let's have a discussion. I want to hear. Why are you. What did you grow up with that makes you so against that? Right. What were you told when you were younger? What do you think is going to happen? What are you scared of?

[Adam]

Well, let's end it off.

[Danielle]

No, I don't want to end it. I have so much more.

[Adam]

So do another one.

[Danielle]

Okay. All right.

[Adam]

The problem is I really, really wanted.

[Danielle]

To talk about something from Instagram. Desperately. Desperately.

[Adam]

Right.

[Danielle]

Can we. For, like, 10 minutes, then we'll continue it the next time.

[Adam]

10 minutes. We gotta go.

[Danielle]

No, we don't have to. I promised everybody I was going to talk about this one thing.

[Adam]

Go ahead.

[Danielle]

All right, well, don't you take a break or something?

[Adam]

No, no.

[Danielle]

We already took two breaks. Oh, all right. We'll talk about it next time.

[Adam]

Fine. I want to end it off with what you were just saying. And we're gonna lose another 10,000 people for me saying this.

[Danielle]

No, no. Only I'm allowed to lose 10,000 people because my shit makes sense.

[Adam]

Is keeping religion out of politics.

[Danielle]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Adam]

And that's the biggest problem. Not the biggest. That's one of the biggest problems.

[Danielle]

You can't just end on that. That's not fair.

[Adam]

That's my. Well, listen, you can't just end on that. I have to. We ran out of time and I had to throw it in there, and we're out of time.

[Danielle]

You can't end on that. No, no.

[Adam]

Okay, fine.

[Danielle]

Fine. But no, I'm not going to disagree with you. Of course.

[Adam]

Okay, so what do you have to say?

[Danielle]

See, that's the problem. That's the problem. You can't just say that and leave. That's not how it works.

[Adam]

That's my biggest concern. Like, that's what I think needs to. You know, I know people who, you know, think infringing their religious beliefs into politics, into schools, into society, like they're doing it because they think they're doing. They have the right intentions. Right. Their beliefs. When the Bible says, or what most.

[Danielle]

People do not believe in, in the combination of church and state, most people believe that there should be a separation.

[Adam]

Well, more than 50% of people who voted otherwise because they don't believe he's.

[Danielle]

Really going to do that.

[Adam]

Okay, but guess what? He's got a running mate who does.

[Danielle]

Okay, but that's how I could say that about every issue.

[Adam]

No, no, that's my point. Like, anybody who's thinking about ever getting divorced, that might not be. That might not be able to happen.

[Danielle]

You know, Honey, you're. You're finally. Not to be condescending.

[Adam]

You are being condescending, honey, me.

[Danielle]

This is some. Because you're talking about one. This is me with everything.

[Adam]

Okay, But I'm not out there on Facebook, like, throwing it out there, you know, like.

[Danielle]

But you're passionate about this one thing.

[Adam]

No, I'm not passionate about this one thing. It's just a thing that I think is ridiculous. Like that. I. What?

[Danielle]

I agree, it's ridiculous. But you're talking. This is fine. That's great that it's your issue number one.

[Adam]

Like, if my kid went to school and they have to recite Bible verses along with the Pledge of Allegiance, which. Another issue, like, it's gotta be.

[Danielle]

Already started.

[Adam]

It's gotta stop. We got to get out there on Facebook and post the shit out of this to stop this stuff.

[Danielle]

But the thing is, is that people are so willing to believe the hype. You know, he. Look, he's the big protector, okay? He's going to protect them from all the demons that don't exist, that they're willing to give up some of these freedoms in order that they think that they're, you know, their kid is going to die tomorrow from someone who crosses the border. And that is the whole. I can't. We could do a whole. You know, there's so. There's so, so much. And like I said before, I want to have these conversations with people, right? I block people left and right that are like, you know, you can't. You this, you that, like, no, I don't want to listen to it. Right? You know, and it reverberates. All of it reverberates, right? Whether or not he raped someone, which I'm not even going to go there because I don't need to. Whether or not he did, men right now are feeling permission to say things like, your body, my choice. And that is because they think that now, whether or not he did it, obviously he's. It's been litigated and. And he's held liable and he owes her millions of dollars. And there have been 20 something more women who've come, you know, with sexual assault. Whether or not they believe he did it, they feel licensed to say those things Democrats do not. The Kamala did not give people a license to say that. And that's the difference. And so, you know, there's all these layers and everything that people say, oh, he's better for this, he's better for that. Okay. But we have, like, a whole, obviously, generation from voters of people who are impressionable, and this is what they're seeing, right? And Nick Fuentes, whether or not Trump wanted him to dine with him at the. At Mar a Lago, whether or not he didn't, he did. And these are all the things that, you know, it's so much bigger than what. What people make it out to be like. It's not just whether or not he was a rapist. I know a lot of people think he wasn't. Obviously, he's liable for being one, but it goes so far beyond that. Right? And now that Elon Musk owns Twitter, obviously, his voice is the biggest. He changed the algorithm. That's a fact. And now these voices are being, you know, reverberated through the stratosphere, and that's what kids are hearing in sound bites and very small sound bites with no backlash. If you look on Nick Fuentes post, who said your body, my choice on Twitter, you're gonna scroll. And almost every single reply is, men won. Women are gonna fucking hit their heads on the brick ceiling because there's no glass ceiling. All of those things. And Nick Fuentes was banned from Twitter before. Andrew Tate was banned from Twitter before. Elon Musk has reinstated them all from free speech. But now all these men hear that, so, you know, it's so much bigger than just one thing.

[Adam]

I agree and love you. I love your passion.

[Danielle]

Okay.

[Adam]

But it can be annoying at times.

[Danielle]

Definitely doing a second episode.

[Adam]

Sure. How about. How about I actually go get informed?

[Danielle]

Oh, my God. That would mean so much to me.

[Adam]

I would listen for you.

[Danielle]

I don't. Even if you have differing, even if you find different information and want to come back at me.

[Adam]

Oh, boy. No, I would never do that.

[Danielle]

Know. Well, wait a minute. If you come back with real information, right, and we talk, and next time you want to talk about, you know, the. The I asked you, are there public Personas or public people who I listen to, who you don't like? Obviously you know who mine are that you don't like and just.

[Adam]

Do you know who mine is for you? I'm not going to tell you, but we'll save it for next time.

[Danielle]

I. I want to know now.

[Adam]

I can't imagine Because I do have one.

[Danielle]

And I, I, what do I, I regurgitate what they say. What do I do? I do. I listen to this person and then I, I copy what they've said?

[Adam]

I have no idea.

[Danielle]

Oh, so why does it bother you?

[Adam]

We'll get into it. We'll do that in the next one. No, it doesn't. No, you said. What was the question? Is there a public figure that kind of.

[Danielle]

Do you think I influences me? That annoys you, that influence.

[Adam]

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Danielle]

But I just want you to look through this because I'm gonna end on this. I asked people in our Instagram and, oh my God, I think I have a thousand DMs and I'm not going to be able to get that. That's how I know we have to do a follow up. But I did say on Instagram, I asked, is there anybody who your partner listens to? Obviously we look more women are willing to answer these things. Probably more willing. More probably men don't even know who their wives are listening to or don't care. But I want you to scroll through this because we're going to for the first time. Well, maybe not the first time, but one of the first times. We're going to leave this on a cliffhanger, but I would like you to just scroll through. I posted this maybe 45 minutes before we started recording. Okay. I already have. I can't even tell you hundreds of responses, but I'd like you to scroll through and see if there's something I asked. Is there a public Persona who you feel your partner listens to that really, really bothers you? You can scroll, keep, keep scrolling, keep scrolling, keep scrolling, scroll, scroll. And obviously I said mostly women answer the questions. Men do tons of polls. But after the polls are kind of like that. I'm not like writing a whole response, which totally fine, but we have. You and I have some issues with the, the influences in your life. And now I know.

[Adam]

Well, you say influences.

[Danielle]

Yeah.

[Adam]

Well, you say that sparingly. Like, how do you know it's an influence on me? Because maybe it's just people I listen to. It's not an influence. It's just for entertainment.

[Danielle]

No, I don't believe, I don't believe anything is for just entertainment.

[Adam]

That's makes no sense. Why? When you watch a movie, it influences your life. That's entertainment. When you listen to a song influence your life.

[Danielle]

Well, this is what we're gonna get into next time. This is what we're gonna get into next time. But I think that the agenda is, okay, our kids sometimes watch South Park. Right. And I think I. I make fun of it, but I do think that south park is brilliant. Do I? Obviously, I know that, you know, they're not allowed to repeat anything. They're not allowed to.

[Adam]

Yeah, but the morality behind the episodes is something that you believe in.

[Danielle]

Yes. And I don't think that there's any manipulation going on there. Right. It's very face value. I think that these people who you listen to have drastically negative effects on men. Drastically. And obviously, who did you notice in that while you were scrolling? And you probably only got a tenth of the way through, a fifteenth of the way through. What was the common denominator?

[Adam]

Fox News.

[Danielle]

And what else?

[Adam]

Jordan Peterson.

[Danielle]

And what else? Come on, South Park. Come on.

[Adam]

Nobody says, well, we're doing this next time, right? Yeah, we'll get to it.

[Danielle]

Okay.

[Adam]

All right.

[Danielle]

But I just want you to realize that. That's fine.

[Adam]

I understand.

[Danielle]

Okay.

[Adam]

I get it.

[Danielle]

We've had issues with that. But we're gonna. This is going to be a conversation for the next time. And like I said, please listen. Research these people who you listen to. Tell me why I should. I want to have a discourse. The problem is.

[Adam]

No, you don't, because I've already tried to explain it to you because you. And you don't believe me.

[Danielle]

Of course not. You haven't done any research. I don't need to.

[Adam]

I've listened to the podcast.

[Danielle]

But I know how. I know how you think. And I think if you were listening to somebody besides him, you wouldn't say things to me like, it doesn't matter. Why do you care? It's not important. It doesn't affect you if you listen. If you chose somebody who actually had a heart, you wouldn't be saying to.

[Adam]

Me, I'm going to do the research.

[Danielle]

Please do.

[Adam]

And I'm going to respond to that statement.

[Danielle]

Excellent. Okay, I. And I look forward to it. Good, good.

[Adam]

Love you. Goodbye, everybody. We're done. We got to get out of here.