Captain (11:32)

Race the rudders. Race the sails. Race the sails. Captain, an unidentified ship is approaching.

Danielle (11:38)

Over.

Captain (11:39)

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Danielle (12:03)

There's Augustus Gloop, the gluttonous nincompoop who drinks directly from the Chocolate river, not giving a shit if his selfishness contaminates it for anybody else. There's Violet Beauregard. I think I said that right. Beauregard, I don't know. Bragging about her absolutely pointless and unimpressive record of gum chewing, getting ahead of herself, needing to be the first to try the new invention before anyone else, even though it's not ready. The only difference, that narcissist turns blue and the one in the White House is turning orange. And then there's Mike tv, who is obsessed with television, whose opportunity to be on television becomes his entire personality, willing to sacrifice anything to be a star, and ultimately comes out a tiny, pathetic little human. And here we are, a whole bunch of Charlies just waiting patiently, thinking, I don't know, maybe the right thing isn't worth it. Look at them. They're all winning. They're all getting what they want. Maybe I should, too. And it feels awful. But it's not done, okay? It's not over. And all of these MAGA people watched that movie at some point. And we're not cheering for Veruca, Augustus, Violet and Mike tv. They were cheering for Charlie. They're just so far in it now that they can't see the difference. And it feels like right now, we don't even know who our country is anymore, Right? What is this place? I don't understand. I don't recognize it. And we're suddenly like. Just like. It's like the Twilight Zone. I know so many of us say that. Each of US say since 2015, at one point has said it feels like the Twilight Zone, right? But we also need to remember that since the formation of the United States, this has been our country, built because of racism, because of misogyny, nationalism, xenophobia, corruption. You know, we picture the Declaration of Independence, right, as this prestigious moment, and these wise men signing with honesty and truth and greatness. And that's the picture we've been told. And we know at this point that we need to go back and reevaluate so much of what we've been told. And it's getting uncovered more and more, which is why they are trying to take it away and pretend that it didn't happen, so they don't ever have to be associated with it in the history books. But we know how problematic these men were, right? We know that they were slaveholders. We know that they raped, that they, you know, that they went behind each other's backs, that they turned on one another, that they stole that. We know it all. And as I've recently learned, some of the most influential Founding Fathers barely even had fully formed frontal lobes on July 4, 1776, when they signed the Declaration of Independence. James Monroe, 18. Aaron Burr, 20 years old. Alexander Hamilton, 21. James Madison, 25. The truth is that a lot of us grew up during a time of We Are the World and Farm Aid and Live Aid and Hands Across America. And in 1986 and Memorial Day weekends, as hundreds of radio stations across the United States simultaneously played Hands Across America, nearly 5 million people joined hands. Pain began in Battery park at the southern tip of Manhattan, where the Statue of Liberty and a fireboat pumped red, white and blue. The line of people then stretched along the World Trade center, over the George Washington Bridge and south through Philadelphia and Baltimore. Inside New Jersey's Rahway State Prison, hundreds of inmates linked hands, as did divers Below in Maryland's Susquehanna river in Washington D.C. the route ran by the Capitol and the Lincoln Memorial, where it was joined by Coretta Scott King, widow of Martin Luther King Jr. Who had stood on that same spot 23 years ago to deliver his I have a Dream speech. In some places, ranchers filled the void by placing their cattle hoof to hoof. In all, it lasted only 15 minutes. During that time, everyone came together to sing We Are the World, America the beautiful. Hands across America. For 15 whole minutes we were connected. And then it all turned to shit. No, just kidding. It was shit before that. But we, we have that image in our heads, right? And oh, oh, and handsome pearls. America was co chaired by none, none other than y'all never guess it and you can't make this shit up. Bill Cosby. So again, I don't know. Are we? Are we? In a time that is completely new, yes. Are we also not really. Have we not been honest with ourselves about the past? No, we haven't. And honestly, this was a time when the greatest controversy was Madonna wearing a pointy tasseled tittied bra and saying the word virgin while four year olds like myself shouted out the lyrics in the middle of the gap while our moms ran over to cover our mouths. And honestly, at the same time, the backdrop was multiple epidemics in the country being completely tossed to the side, not to be bothered with the drug epidemic in the inner cities, the HIV AIDS crisis where we were literally being told to stay as far away as possible from anybody who had been infected with it. Subways, toilets, hugs, kisses, all the things that we were told and petrified about, and none of it was true. And at the same time, we were holding hands, singing Hands Across America. So in 2001, when the planes hit the towers, there was an overwhelming sense of acute terror. And yet we were all on the same side. I remember hanging a flag on the inside of my car window and trucks drove around with American flags. But it was a completely different feeling for many of us than when we see them today. During that time, the flag unified us. However, we also cannot forget that at that same time it ostracized them. Our togetherness was conditional on it being us against them, while the government convinced us that they no longer had a choice but to get them in order for us to stay safe. And a lot of us believed it until those of us who maybe became more informed or simply are more apathetic or have more emotional intelligence, whatever it is, started to decide and realize that we don't want to be with them. And, I don't know, maybe this is when this all started to happen, right? When, you know, again, these. This racial profiling was going on. And we would get on flights and look around and, you know, say, oh, who's on the flight? And are they a danger? And all of that. And it fizzled out some, but it didn't go away, not even in the least. And we realized that we'd been duped again, right? We were made to believe that we were all on one side and we were all together, but it was. It was all manipulative and it was all conditional. So we all say, oh, we're so divided. We're so divided. Yes, we are. But because those of us chose to step away and do what's right, and many more have joined who maybe didn't realize it back then, and a new generation has been born and, you know, new blood, new ideas, new knowledge, and we started to sort of, like, realize that we didn't want to be that place. We didn't want to be those people again. And then all hell broke loose. We got way too fucking comfortable. We elected a black man. And while most of us were in our glory, being led by the most unproblematic, respectable, intelligent, compassionate Commander in chief and first lady, down below in the depths of hell, the mediocre men were scheming and planning and to quote the demon himself like never before, a whole population of men still bitter about not getting laid in high school were planning their revenge tour. This time it was going to have a villain so hungry for power who'd been marinating his entire life in racism, misogyny, corruption, and other dumb fuckery for so long that he was prime for this moment. In fact, he had already gotten started on his own in so many ways. And Rupert Murdoch and Fox News and all the other villains just waiting for their time and opportunity to shine. And that's when we get to where we are today. Not quite so quick and a lot more painful, but that's where we are. 10 years of this shit is not healthy. 10 years of this is enough for us to all say, it's futile. The bad guys always win. And we're fucking exhausted. We're disheartened. We're ashamed. But for the first time, our eyes are truly wide open in a way I don't think they've ever been before. And maybe this is what it took. And it sucks that it came to this, but while many of us have spent our lives being good people who hurt no one and want the best for the most vulnerable and marginalized. Many of us have also spent a lot of time throughout our lives holding hands and being together for moments of time while really not realizing how bad shit was. And now I feel awake, I feel ready, I feel really fucking motivated, and I feel really, really like this is the precipice of change. So now we need to figure out how do we each use our individual and unique strengths and power and privilege and rage to propel us forward. And it's time for some of us to get used to being uncomfortable. I have a large platform, and I have been, whoosh, taken down time and time again by other people. And so I'm a little used to it. But everybody's got to get a little uncomfortable now, and it's time to get used to making other people uncomfortable. And you have to start to think to yourself or maybe write it down. I don't know. What are my list of demands? I don't know. Do you have Trump supporting people in your life? Trump supporters don't like being accountable. And I know behind a screen, typing on a keyboard, they seem really confident and really secure and really like they feel so passionate and proud of what they feel. But they don't like to be called out in real life, not face to face, especially because so many of them don't have any evidence or facts or understanding or anything more than talking points that they've gotten on Fox News. So if you can come with facts and knowledge and actual evidence and show up when you know that there's going to be someone, then you might have a shot at at least holding them accountable because we want them to be uncomfortable. And I one time said to my friend who I knew had voted for Trump face to face, we were out to dinner in a restaurant, just to be careful, I said, how do you justify voting for someone who's on the same side as the kkk? Her response? How come you're my only friend who does this? None of my other friends do this to me. That was her response. Imagine if we all did that, if we all called them out, if we didn't let them lay low and act like they had nothing to do with this. Because that's what they want, right? A lot of them, I mean, many of them are very, very proud. My God, MAGA Nation is full of people out bragging about whatever it is when really they have no place doing anything like that. But there are plenty who we all know, we can all think of them right now who don't say much who lay low, who don't want anybody to know who they voted for, but we know. And we need to make them uncomfortable and we need to make them accountable. And also nothing makes them more uncomfortable than when we show up as our goddamn selves. So get out there in society right now, more than other, more than ever, and be chaotic. Be bold, be proud. Take up space. Do everything they hate. We do have the power. And while it doesn't seem like it, there are more of us than them. Remember, the first few months of the presidency is the honeymoon period. And honestly, they're trying to get through as much as possible and cram in as much as possible, and they're not even doing that great of a job. They're already grasping at literal paper straws because they don't have nearly as much as they want us to think they have. And yes, MAGA is constantly saying Trump is doing everything he promised to do. But an executive order is just that, executive order. It is a facade that doesn't go much deeper than Trump saying, look at all that I'm accomplishing. They might feel like they're in the golden age right now, but this is the best it's going to be for them. He has a cabinet of literal minions who are so in above their heads and right now they might look sturdy, but planes are falling out of the sky and Reagan appointed judges are saying Trump's orders have no place in a constitutional society. And 20 something states are suing him. And January 6th, pardoned insurrectionists are heading back to jail because they're literal dumbasses and the price of Veruca's eggs just keeps going the fuck up. And this, my friends, is the honeymoon period.

Unknown (28:17)

Hey, let's talk about your expense report.

Danielle (28:19)

I didn't submit an expense report.

Unknown (28:20)

You will. Custom saddles and dog training services are not within policy.

Danielle (28:24)

What are you talking about?

Unknown (28:25)

SAP Concur uses advanced AI to audit and automatically detect out of policy expenses. It's the breakthrough I needed to focus more on our future.

Danielle (28:33)

These are my future expenses? Yes.

Unknown (28:36)

And self defense classes are out of policy.

Danielle (28:38)

I'll need self defense classes.

Unknown (28:39)

You will?

Danielle (28:40)

For what?

Unknown (28:41)

It's a big dog.

Danielle (28:42)

SAP Concur helps your business move forward faster. Learn more@concur.com.

Captain (28:47)

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Danielle (29:20)

So make it so obvious who you are and what you believe that being around you is uncomfortable the way it is for us to be around those stupid red hats. Wear your pride merch, put your rainbow flags out, put your Black Lives Matter signs out. Whatever it is, they've had their moment. This is our moment. Those of us who spent our lives already navigating some kind of discrimination, some of us more than others, and bringing life into the world and living by society's rules even though we secretly knew we weren't meant to comply. They might be monsters, but every single day they're creating an even bigger monster, more powerful beast. And I think that right now we need to understand that it's our moment to decide what we want to be able to say to our grandkids and our grand nieces and nephews and the next generation when they ask, what did you do? What was your role? What did you do so that there was no national abortion ban? What did you do when DEI was being dismantled? What did you do when antisemitism and xenophobia and hate crimes were on the rise? When white nationalists were allowed to confidently ride subways and take pride in being Nazis? What did you do? And I don't think you're going to want to say, well, I was a good person. I didn't hurt anyone. That's not enough right now, unfortunately, and I know that sucks, but it's also kind of powerful and it's kind of what we need to happen to finally be at the end of this shit. So I know you're thinking to yourself, okay, what, what can I do? Right? What now? What. What can I do? And, and it is a little chaotic right now because there isn't much leadership in the way we need there to be right now on the Democrats, Democratic side of the Democratic Party. Unfortunately, there are, you know, there's Jasmine Crockett, who's fucking awesome. And you know, Jamie Raskin is doing a lot. And you know, there's, there's, there's definitely people speaking up, but it's not enough. And so it really is right now in our power and we can't wait for them. And right now also, I know so many of us are literally getting up every day just trying to make it through the day with all of this overwhelming chaos. And so we need to also keep in mind that we're not looking to change everything in one day. It's not going to happen overnight. It is going to be a journey. But we're on it right now, right? In some ways, that's the good part. We were waiting, right? Waiting for the election results. Waiting, Waiting to see if she won. Waiting to see if she did win, if there was going to be something worse than January 6th, then we were waiting for him to come into office. And now he's in office. And we know it's a show, but we hold the power. And you know, it's interesting because Target dismantled its CEI program. Target stock ain't doing so hot right now, and their shareholders are pissed. Costco. Costco held strong. And if you go look up their stock, I swear to God, I beamed when I saw it. And that's because we do hold the power. And I don't want to concentrate too much on shopping. But right now, economics and the economy seem to be everybody's price of eggs and all that shit that. That seemed to be on the forefront of everything. And we have these corporations right now who are, I think, feeling like they're off the hook for dismantling DEI and feeling like they no longer need to, you know, display pride, merch or all that stuff that was, you know, only so authentic to begin with, but it's the wrong way. And so we can have that be part of our power, right? Our pocketbooks. And I know that we can't boycott everything. Amazon, all the places that Walmart and everywhere that is saying, no, I'm sorry, we're following Trump, we can't do that. But there are things we can do. We can print out a list of the places that have upheld DEI and local business that. Local businesses that are doing that, and find out who people donated to and find out if they align with our views and give them our business. When we can print out a list, put it on the refrigerator, say to your family, these are the places we want to shop when we can. And honestly, for Amazon, I know it's impossible. Look, some of us get our entire lives through Amazon, but let's say you pick one category, two categories. Let's say books. You're no longer going to buy your books at Amazon. I know they're cheaper, fine, but that's okay. There are amazing bookstores, black owned bookstores, women owned bookstores, you know, LGBTQ owned bookstores that need us. And it's a small sacrifice to make or home decor, right? There are places that you can buy. And you know your people on Etsy who have small stores and places that you can get stuff that is maybe not only more ethical, but just doesn't give money to these big corporations who seem to not give a shit about us. And maybe that home decor that you're buying now is going to be more representative of your values and make more of a statement, right? Maybe rather than neutral and beige, we're buying rainbow and we're buying pillows that say whatever message you want to put out. And we're letting people know that we are getting louder, not quieter. Our clothes, the stuff that we put out on our social media, the stuff that we put out in our front yards, the cars that we by all of these things, each of us individually and obviously cohesively have a lot of power in that also. Are you in a book club? I don't know, maybe one month you toss the fiction aside and read something more relevant. Maybe something that is about fighting and activism, fighting the patriarchy, what you can do. Or maybe you ditch the book altogether and use that book club session to do some activism together, right? Have some wine and write some emails. Drunken emails to representatives are always a good idea. Or you're writing postcards, you know, something out to dinner for a girl's night. Before everybody orders, they write one email to their representative or they make one phone call. There are lots of little ways and keep the conversation going. Don't look away. Don't let others look away. Dedicate time to focusing on a mission. There's so much out there, we become overwhelmed. So focus yourself. What's meaningful to you? What do you feel right now in your bones, passionately about? Right? Activism has many lanes and we need people in all of those lanes and we need to be working together. But it's okay if right now you're concentrating on just one or two of those. If you can't donate, don't then make five extra phone calls. If you hate making phone calls like myself, go to a protest or hold a group session in your home, coming up with ideas of how you can come together and make a difference. Go on Facebook and search out community groups that are already doing stuff and see how you can help. If you can donate, do that. Lord knows that's a great way to help all the ways. Go on social media and unfollow or call out anyone who has a platform about parenting or women supporting women or sex and, you know, intimacy and all that stuff and. And claim to be progressive, but they don't want to lose followers so they're acting like it's business as usual. Call them out. Or if you're not comfortable calling out, at least unfollow them and replace that. Follow with somebody who is doing something that aligns with your views. Okay? We need to support the people who are supporting us. And focus is essential. So when you're online, you don't need to follow 75 political accounts. It's too much, and eventually we're going to tune out. Keep that number low. And I'm not talking about these accounts who, you know, are humorous, but are also acknowledging other things or, you know, are give you some kind of other information. I'm talking about these, you know, politically based, highly charged accounts that are. All day long. It's the breaking news. Breaking news. We have an update. Have you heard? All right, we gotta slow that down. It's too much. It's not healthy. So pick your favorites, maybe your 5, 10 favorites, and unfollow the rest. You can always go back and then follow them if you feel like you have more bandwidth for it. But we gotta be careful. And most of all, rest. You need rest because this is not a sprint. This is a marathon. And we need momentum and we need stamina and we need to take care of ourselves. Rest is resistance. Joy is resistance. Showing them that they have not taken our joy is gonna bug the shit out of them. You see how Kendrick Lamar looked straight at the camera a whole bunch of times and you just want to screenshot that and, like, keep it on Donald Trump's screen. Like, honey, you can't take this away. You can't take this from them. We're not going to let you. That is powerful. And they do not like it. And they do not have joy. They only. Only have bitterness, and that is what powers them. Deep, open, honest conversations are resistance. Sending someone an informative article or podcast episode and saying, can you please just read this? It's really important to me that you read this is resistance. Sending them something like five calls.org and saying, hey, for my birthday, can you just make these five phone calls? Or, you know, for Valentine's Day, for whatever, instead of, can you just make five phone calls for me, please? It would mean a lot. Bringing your kids to a march or a rally, having them write postcards with you discussing what they're watching on TikTok and making sure they understand what's going on and that what they're watching isn't confusing them. Okay? There is. My God, there is so much out there. And, you know, what comes across Your feed. How many times does things come across your feeder for you, page? And you're like, what the. What algorithm thought this was for me? They're getting the same stuff, so talk about it. Hey, did you see anything that you want to ask me questions about? Did you see anything you want to research together? Was there something that upset you or made you question? Maybe our family values or, you know, your. Your feelings about things? Be on top of that. Don't be disheartened, but be determined. Don't be hardened, Be empowered. Don't be quiet, but listen. Most of all, remember, you are not alone. There are millions of us, and that number will only keep growing. I swear. While the MAGA movement is at its height of its support, it's pretty much at its ceiling. And us, we're no longer worrying about breaking the glass ceiling. We know that. We've done that a million times. They've just tried to convince us we weren't there yet. We have broken that ceiling more fucking times than you can count. We've done that. We show up every day. And the fact that they keep us believing we haven't is because they don't want us to believe we can and they don't want us to believe we will again and again. But right now, we're building bridges, we're going to tear down walls, and we're going to create a path through this charade of dumbfuckery. We are smarter, we are stronger, more strategic, and my God, society cannot exist for even one day without us. They need us, but they can't have us unless it's on our fucking terms. And that's what we're going to do. So right now, when you stop listening to this, I want you to go and download or print out on marriagemartinis.com on the blog. There's a guide and there's a bunch of information, and there's kind of like a journal, an activist journal that I want you to fill out as soon as you can and use it to start your journey on helping us get through the next days, weeks, months. Okay? And we're not going to stop. And we are going to come out the other side feeling like we fucking did this. Don't forget that. And you are not alone. By God, you are not alone. We are in it together. And more communities are going to be forming and groups are going to be starting and marches are going to be happening, and there's going to be a lot more direction. We're not going to feel so aimless, but it's going to take time and in the meantime, we all still can be doing stuff. Thank you so much for listening. I really hope that you'll share this episode with people. I think right now we need this kind of stuff from wherever and whomever is willing to step up and start to lead a little bit. And we can all do that in whatever way we can. Not everybody has a podcast. Not everybody has a publisher or a substack. But we all have some kind of platform, some kind of position, some kind of access. Please use it and keep checking back on Instagram and keep checking back for more episodes and let me know what other kind of episodes you'd like me to do. Who would you like me to have on? What questions do you still have? And if you enjoyed this right now as we are bleeding followers again, if you want to buy me a coffee, quote unquote martini would be better or I don't know, just some straight fucking shots, go to buymeacoffee.com marriageofmartinis and if you could donate there, that would be awesome. If not, please and you enjoy this episode. If you could rate and review on Apple and or Spotify and share with your friends and I'm in it with you. I love you. I appreciate you. I see you. We're gonna be okay. We really are. All right, have a great day, guys. Stay.

Martina (49:22)

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