Podcast Summary: Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Episode: Ep 592 - 2025: A Year in Review

Hosts: Matt McCusker & Shane Gillis

Date: December 31, 2025

Episode Overview

This special New Year’s episode offers a comedic and satirical “year in review” of 2025. Matt, flying solo for most of the episode while Shane pops in with signature bits, reflects on the year's absurdities, ranging from geopolitics and AI, to fake pregnancies and his own middle-aged streetball glory. The episode is sprinkled with classic silliness, a recurring joke about scuba divers, personal anecdotes, and a surprising philosophical close.

Key Discussion Points & Highlights

1. World Events in 2025

(00:00 - 05:25)

• Wars and Global Turmoil:

  • Matt recaps ongoing wars: “We got a lot of wars going on ... Israel, Palestine, which I believe is a ceasefire. Shout out to politicians for the ceasefire on that. And also Russia-Ukraine, maybe that'll come to an end. ... Hopefully not Venezuela.” (01:01)
  • Jokes about humanity's misplaced “can-do” spirit: “Maybe next year we can just kind of like, do other stuff instead.” (01:17)

• Trump Fatigue & American Politics:

  • “Donald Trump is still the president and ... I think his sizzle is starting to kind of fade. ... He loomed over this country for a decade. ... As much as people love him or hate him ... I honestly don't know what it's going to be like without the guy.” (02:12)
  • Looks ahead to “Trump 2.0” or post-Trump politics: “Are we going to get like a Trump 2.0 or ... what are we going to get? We don't know. I'm excited. I can't wait to find out in 2028.” (02:42)

2. AI Anxiety & Office Life Satire

(03:05 - 05:58)

• AI Takes Over (And Matt's Solution):

  • “AI is booming right now ... There’s billions, maybe even trillions of dollars being spent on AI research.” (03:05)
  • On job loss to AI: “If you're worried about AI coming and taking your job ... let it take your job. Let the state figure out your life for you.” (03:46)
  • Office jobs called out as “fake jobs anyway”: “Why would you worry about a machine built by billionaires taking a fake job from [you]? ... Let it have your fake job.” (04:03)

• Comedic Vision for Displaced Workers:

  • “If AI takes your job ... start a militia. A peaceful militia, obviously. ... You and your friends can set up a little barbed wire crawl space. ... Now you're outside, you got to go find food. ... It's so much more fun than sitting in an office.” (04:32–05:35)

3. Science Oddities: Womb Tech & Fake Pregnancies

(05:59 - 10:20)

• Artificial Wombs:

  • "They made a false womb in Australia. So science is going, you know, we have a false womb for a kangaroo to be born in. That's nice." (05:58)

• Hysterical/Fake Pregnancies in Women:

  • Bizarre real-life story: "There was ... a widow ... she convinced herself that she was pregnant to the point where her breasts started to lactate and her belly expands as if there were a child ... doctor had to tell her ... you just have a bunch of farts." (07:34)
  • Memorable moment: "You're not pregnant, you old bitch. Go home." (08:45)

• Men's Version – Couvade Syndrome:

  • "Apparently ... when a woman becomes pregnant, the man starts to ... mimic some of the pregnancy response ... They'll start mimicking those responses, even to the point where the guys will gain weight. Some ... claim they feel a baby kicking in their belly ... it's definitely gas." (11:30)
  • Classic Matt advice: "Never say that out loud, dude ... Take it to the grave, man." (12:15)

4. Recurring Comic Bit: The Scuba Diver Joke

(06:23, 13:35, 19:44, 30:43, 49:06, 56:08)

• Setup & Punchline:
  • Shane: “Do you know why scuba divers ... fall backwards off the boat?”
  • Matt: “Look cool?”
  • Shane: “No. Because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat. Come on, guys.”
  • Becomes a running highlight: “Classic highlight reel 2025. ... Just run that back 25 times. ... Over and over for three hours. You fall asleep to it, but you're gonna laugh every time.” (Recurs ~every 10–15 mins, e.g. 06:40, 13:52, 19:49, and so on.)

5. Personal Anecdotes & Reflections

Old Man in a Subaru – “Rage at an Intersection”

(14:16 - 20:25)

• Matt details an encounter with an “old man in a Subaru” who gave him “the stank eye” for driving too slow (due to a fragile tube amp in his car):
  • “He was giving me this ... I literally out my window, I said, what the fuck are you gonna do, old man? You ass Subaru. I'll fuck you up in that Subaru.” (16:40)
  • Immediate reflection and self-awareness: “That’s not me. I’m leaving that me behind in 2025.” (17:20)
  • On old libs and potted plants: “Old libs love putting 97 potted plants in front of their fucking houses. ... Get them out of the sidewalk. ... Put those plants ... in your fucking backyard.” (18:40)

Streetball Glory – Becoming the “Old Guy” at the Basketball Court

(20:25 - 29:59)

• Matt describes playing 21 with high schoolers at the local court, relishing his new role:
  • “I was like fighting time and death itself. When you’re an old man at the basketball court, you’re battling time.” (23:39)
  • “Both of them fouled me ... I lifted both children up on my arm and laid it up, no problem. ... You like that, you little fuck? I didn’t. I said, ‘Oh, man, don’t worry about it.’” (25:19)
  • Reflects on being 40 and the weirdness of interacting with kids as an adult: “Something about it, man, you just want to ... I wouldn’t mind chilling with kids if I’m being honest. ... I feel weird around adults ... But if ... you could just drop me at ... a 12-year-old’s birthday party, I would for real vibe so hard.” (27:07)
  • Hesitant clarification: “No pedo on me. I’m just like ... it was so fun just balling out with these kids yesterday.” (28:45)

6. Comedy Scene & Celebrity Callouts

(31:24 - 37:00)

• On Comedy “Civil Wars”:
  • “A lot of comedian infighting ... comedian vs comedian, YouTuber vs comedian ... endless swirl of negativity we can’t keep our eyes off.” (31:24)
  • Cat Williams/Comedian Drama: “Cat Williams ... blew the lid off the jar ... He spilled the tea. ... That was the Cat Williams tea that set the tone for 2025. ... No one ever recaptured the cat crack.” (32:02)
  • Calls comedians “theater dorks” at heart: “They’re just like theater dorks ... but mutated ... do stand-up instead of musicals ... just let them swim, all right? ... High five them ... If you don’t like it, just turn it off.” (34:01)

7. Soviet Calendar, Government, and Debt Rants

(37:00 - 47:30)

• Soviet Five-Day Calendar:

  • “I was reading about the Soviet calendar ... eliminated all the days of the week ... replaced the days of the week with ... Loaf of Bread, Star, Hammer and Sickle, Burlap Sack, ... Pointed Wool Military Cap.” (37:34)
  • “Purposely gave wives and husbands and families different days off ... Everyone just lived this weird existence ... The machines collapsed, so they had to go back to the standard Gregorian calendar.” (39:00)
  • Summary: “What a crazy thing to do ... trying to, as a government, upend time itself.” (40:00)

• On Voting & Political Identity:

  • “I've never voted before, ever, until ... my wife dragged me to do it this year. ... If you want to vote, fucking vote.” (42:09)
  • “The whole idea of embedding politics into your identity ... is ... unbelievably lame.” (42:19)

• National Debt Math Rant:

  • “What’s the debt? Like $90 trillion. It just keeps growing. ... We owe $1.2 trillion a year in interest. ... Once you’re in a loan for $40 trillion ... what is that? ... That’s embarrassing, dude.” (44:02)
  • Conclusion: “Unless we can get out of ... I’m embarrassed. Every time I travel to another country, it’s all I can think about.” (46:15)

8. Closing Thoughts & Philosophical Reflection

(49:48 - 56:39)

• Societal Goals & Social Life:

  • “I want to get out there ... embedding yourself into their lives in a real way ... my problem with that is I’m just really only interested in my own life.” (49:48)
  • “Every time someone talks to me, I can do like 30 seconds ... before I’m like, dude, if I get my bench to fucking 280 and ... squat to 350 ...” (50:34)

• Time and Existence (St. Augustine Quote):

  • Matt closes with a lengthy reflection on the nature of time, reading from St. Augustine and pondering the ephemerality of the present:
    • “What then is time? If no one asks me, I know. If I wish to explain it ... I know not ... If nothing passed away, there would be no past time. ... For the past is not now and the future is not yet.” (51:00+)
  • Matt’s reaction: “Wow. What a quote. Did you get that? Makes perfect sense. Guys, have a great new year.” (55:58)

• Final Bit:

  • Repeats the running SCUBA diver joke as the episode closes. (56:08)

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On perpetual war:

  • “No one was sitting on their ass this year. People were unfortunately fighting and killing hundreds of thousands of people. ... Maybe next year we can just kind of like, do other stuff instead, but keep that same can-do fire and spirit.” (01:12)

• On letting AI take your job:

  • “Let the computer wipe that out. Now you’re outside, you’re doing push ups, you’re doing burpees ... My prediction is the government will start giving you food ... Just do push ups in your front yard with all your office friends.” (04:32)

• On fake pregnancy:

  • “You’re not pregnant, you old bitch. Go home ... just have a big fart in my stomach.” (08:45)

• On Couvade Syndrome:

  • “It’s really unbecoming of a man to try to get in on pregnancy glory. ... just stop, man.” (12:10)

• On being the old guy at the basketball court:

  • “I was like fighting time and death itself. When you’re an old man at the basketball court, you’re battling time. ... I lifted both children up on my arm and laid it up, no problem.” (23:39, 25:19)

• On comedian beef:

  • “They’re just like theater dorks ... mutated ... do stand-up instead of musicals ... you wear a leather jacket and smoke and stay up late, and you’re like, I’m a comic ... But you’re a theater dork, man.” (34:01)

• On political obsession:

  • “Embedding politics into your identity ... is so unbelievably lame to just get into that.” (42:19)

• On the nature of time (St. Augustine):

  • “If nothing passed away, there would be no past time. ... For the past is not now and the future is not yet.” (52:29)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 – Introduction, 2025 year-in-review, wars & geopolitics
• 02:12 – Trump’s lingering effect, AI anxiety
• 05:59 – Science updates: kangaroo wombs, weird medical news
• 07:34 – Fake pregnancy syndrome anecdote
• 13:35 – Recurring scuba diver joke
• 14:16 – Rage at the intersection: Old man in a Subaru story
• 20:25 – Basketball court: Matt vs. high schoolers
• 31:24 – Comedy world drama recap
• 37:00 – Soviet calendar/wacky history interlude
• 42:09 – Anti-voting, skepticism about politics and national debt
• 49:48 – Social reflections, time, future goals
• 51:00 – St. Augustine’s meditation on time
• 56:08 – Final SCUBA diver joke and episode close

Overall Tone & Style

• Tone: Irreverent, meandering, playful, and occasionally unapologetically crude.
• Style: Satirical, self-deprecating, and peppered with absurdist humor and recurring listener in-jokes.
• Matt’s directness and Shane’s stoic deadpan playing off each other whenever he pops in (mainly for the SCUBA diver joke).

For First-Time Listeners

This episode is a signature “Matt and Shane” mix of broad world satire, absurd hypotheticals, and personal confessions, all delivered in their loose, rambling, and unserious style. If you’re looking for a real “best of” curation, you’ll get, instead, the year’s most outlandish rants, the eternal SCUBA joke, and sincere moments of self-examination—plus a whiplash-inducing philosophical close.

Essential Listening for:

• Fans of freeform, unfiltered comedian banter
• Anyone curious about the absurdity of 2025 (as imagined by these two)
• Listeners who appreciate a blend of the philosophical, the idiotic, and the painfully honest

Classic moment to remember:
“Do you know why scuba divers ... fall backwards off the boat? ... Because if they fell forward, they would land in the boat. Come on, guys.”
(Recurring, eg: 06:23, 13:35, 19:44, etc.)