(sung to the tune of “Beach Baby” by The Beach Boys)

Do you remember back in old Aruk?

When the priest Rip Torn started running amok.

What happened to the king’s unborn son?

A witch stuffed him in a cow and away she run!

Beastmaster, Beastmaster, find you some pants

And go questing with tigers and ferrets.

Also a bird, with no name that I heard, and some bat folks.

Beastmaster, Beastmaster, twirlin’ your sword,

Gonna make out with sweet Tanya Roberts.

You’ve got John Amos and no one else famous to help you.

Yes, we’re rockin’ through the hits in this, our extended series “Cuz I Wanna (And You’re Gonna Like It!)! This week we’ve got a real . . . classic? With 1982’s “Beastmaster,” which brings us a largely unclothed and finely burnished Marc Singer, an underused Rip Torn, and some very badly dyed animals, some of which get names while others toil in obscurity. Join us for this legendary cheese-fest which spawned sequels and a tv series, which we’re SURE you all remember. Keep a close watch on your ferrets and give a listen!

Poll question: what is your favorite fantasy movie and why? Leave a comment or use our mystical hotline and leave a voicemail at 617-398-7266.