Maxwell Leadership Podcast Summary

Episode: 5 Ways to Win With People
Host: John Maxwell & Mark Cole (with Chris Goede)
Date: February 26, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode centers on the principle that strong relationships are the foundation of effective leadership. Drawing from John Maxwell's well-known book 25 Ways to Win With People, John narrows in on five actionable practices that help leaders “win” with people, emphasizing that leadership is rooted in connection, trust, and valuing others. Mark Cole and Chris Goede discuss the practical implementation of these principles in their own leadership journeys, adding personal stories, humor, and tangible advice for listeners looking to improve their relational effectiveness as leaders.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Relationships Are the Foundation of Leadership

• John Maxwell: “People won’t go along with you if they can’t get along with you.” (03:06)
• The ability to build genuine connections is the bedrock of a leader’s influence.
• Leaders are ‘people magnets’—the key is attracting and keeping people engaged on your team.

2. Five Ways to Win With People (John Maxwell’s Framework)

1. Learn People’s Names

• “The name of a person is the sweetest sound that they'll ever hear.” (04:07)
• Maxwell recounts how foundational Dale Carnegie’s work was, and his own lifelong commitment to remembering names—once knowing over 4,000 staff names.
• Practical tip: Associate a person’s name with a picture (“take a selfie and write their name on it is a good way to remember”).
• Memorable Quote:
  “What is the secret of a success? … He knows our name, he knows who we are, and it's a powerful way to connect with people.” (05:13)

2. Compliment People in Front of Others

• Private compliments encourage—but “a public compliment is highly motivating.” (06:08)
• John shares a story about attending a funeral to compliment a team member’s family, demonstrating the power of affirmation in a loved one’s presence.

3. The 30-Second Rule

• In the first 30 seconds of any interaction, offer a compliment or say something positive (06:38).
• Set the tone for positive communication: “Say something kind, positive, wonderful, beautiful about that person. That’s just absolutely huge.”

4. Look for the Best in Others

• “We all have a bad side... but I want them to see me and look for the best in me.” (07:02)
• By intentionally looking for the best, you often receive the best in return.
• Maxwell shares a family tradition of giving affirming nicknames to highlight the best in loved ones.

5. Let People Know You Need Them

• “There’s something beautiful when you can look at your people with integrity and say, ‘I really need you.’ That will literally bring the best out of them.” (07:48)

3. Hosts' Discussion: Applying the Five Ways

Remembering Names—The Real Struggle

• Mark and Chris share candid (and humorous) stories about struggling with names, joking about hiring only people with the same name.
• Chris Goede: “I have a habit of calling everybody buddy... it does show respect [to use their name].” (11:32)
• Mark Cole: Stresses the value of remembering stories or experiences, if names escape you, to convey presence and respect. (13:29)

Practicing Public Praise & The 30-Second Rule

• Chris highlights the impact of specific praise—handwritten notes received by family members at home amplify the impact.
• Key Insight: Specificity matters; blanket compliments become “white noise,” while personalized praise resonates.

The Ripple Effect of Affirmation

• Mark reflects: “Imagine the ripple effect when someone… you give them a compliment right before they go home and they feel like they’re on top of the world.” (18:54)
• Compliments given publicly or to loved ones can inspire far-reaching positive effects.

Compliments: Finding the Balance

• Mark admits, “I can overplay… For every frustration and challenge, I can come up with two compliments. It is natural to me.” (19:51)
• Chris, a more reserved processor, works on being intentional with affirmation, illustrating that both overuse and underuse of compliments can be problematic.

Letting People Know You Need Them

• Vulnerability in leadership is hard but necessary: “To say ‘I need you’ as a leader is a daunting public statement.” (31:43)
• Chris observes the empowering effect on teams when leaders authentically express their need for others.
• Mark explains his approach to this vulnerable leadership move, and warns against manipulation or insincerity.

Dealing with Fear & Vulnerability

• Mark prefers openness over guardedness:
  “I would rather be real with people and them abuse me than to be fake with people and them align with me.” (35:22)
• Leaders need to weigh their sincerity before expressing need, and accept that rare misuse of openness is outweighed by its positive impact.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• John Maxwell:

  • “The name of a person is the sweetest sound that they’ll ever hear.” (04:07)
  • “If you see the best in people, you usually receive the best in people.” (07:28)
  • “Let people know that you need them… that will literally bring the best out of them.” (07:48)

• Mark Cole:

  • “I would rather be real with people and them abuse me than to be fake with people and them align with me.” (35:22)
  • “I have found that what also works for people is remembering an experience, a conversation.” (14:17)

• Chris Goede:

  • “It does show respect. People want to know that you know who they are.” (11:46)
  • “The only way to make people feel seen, valued, and heard is to make sure you are complimenting people.” (24:51)

• Timestamps:

  • [03:06] Relationships as foundation
  • [04:07] Importance of names
  • [06:08] Power of public compliments
  • [07:02] Seeing the best in others
  • [07:48] Vulnerability of saying “I need you”
  • [11:32 - 15:25] Hosts’ struggle with names
  • [18:54] Ripple effect of affirmation
  • [19:51] Compliment balance
  • [24:51] Learned behaviors in affirmation
  • [31:43] Vulnerability and saying “I need you”
  • [35:22] Guardrails and openness

Actionable Takeaways

• Practice remembering and using names—pair names with stories or visuals to make them stick.
• Be specific and public in your praise—amplify its effect by sharing it in front of peers or loved ones.
• Set a positive tone in every interaction—commit to the 30-second rule: offer encouragement right at the start.
• Look for and call out the best in others—affirmations shape your perception and their behavior.
• Express genuine need for your team—authentic vulnerability deepens relationships and strengthens team culture.

For Further Growth

• Download the episode’s bonus resource with reflection questions: maxwellpodcast.com/win
• Recommended Reading:
  • 25 Ways to Win With People (John Maxwell)
  • Upcoming: The Charismatic Leader (pre-order available, see show notes)

Original Tone: Warm, lighthearted, practical, occasionally humorous, focused on actionable leadership growth.

Summary Prepared for Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In—No Ads or Filler Included