B (5:41)

I've never known a person who values others and adds value to them, not to receive an emotional return from doing it. Few things in life are more rewarding than helping another human being. Then there's the leadership return. Valuing people also has a return for you as a leader. When you care about people, value them, and act in their best interest. Your influence increases because they trust you and have a greater desire to work with you. And even if there isn't a direct connection with you or your team or your organization, they will want to help you succeed or connect you to people who can help you directly. If you desire to value all people and become the best leader you can be on the high road. Then follow these steps. 1. Develop humble appreciation for yourself. How do you think about yourself? The answer to this question is key to understanding your mindset toward other people. High road leaders who value people have a strong, healthy sense of self worth, yet at the same time they are humble, meaning they don't think too much of themselves or about themselves too much. Marilyn Gist calls this quality leader humility and defines it as a tendency to feel and display a deep regard for others dignity. Possessing the humility to give others respect and honor simply because they are human beings is vital to leading on the high road. How can leaders develop this kind of humble appreciation for themselves? If people have the right foundation, there is a good chance that they can develop or improve leader humility. If one or the other element is lacking, the odds are not good. Let's start with self awareness. How aware are you of your attitude toward yourself? To value all people, you must believe in your own worth. How you see yourself translates to how you treat other people. Do you like yourself? Do you value yourself, believe in yourself and accept yourself for who you are? At the same time, while seeing worth in yourself, you must recognize that you're not worth more than anyone else. You must recognize that you have value, but don't use it to elevate yourself. Instead, you must use it to elevate others. 2. Choose to start putting your focus on others. I recently read an article by my friend Sam Chan. I love what he wrote about leadership. In an age characterized by narcissistic and hubris driven leaders, a focus on others is refreshing. In fact, I love Sam's single word definition of leadership. What was it? Just the word others. He went on to explain that to him it meant focusing on others, serving others, and investing in others. I couldn't agree more. If you desire to improve yourself, your relationship with others and your leadership, you must make a choice. You must consciously start putting your focus on others. You must want to better yourself and travel the high road. If you are willing to change to become someone who values all people, it will not only transform your leadership, it will transform your life. 3. Take action. A vital part of the process of change is is taking action. A change in behavior helps to create a change in heart. Most people need to act their way into feeling to create lasting change. If they wait for the feeling to come, they never get where they want or need to go. If you need to change, do it through behavior. You must show the people through your actions. That you value them. If you already care about people and value them, but you don't take action to express it, then how will they know? What actions can you take to let people know that you value them?

B (10:12)

Acknowledge them with kind words. Seek common ground with them by asking questions. Look for value in them and express it to them. Find ways to add value to them. Treat them with dignity. Valuing people is an intentional action. You must choose to value others and add value to them. It doesn't happen without an act of will. 4. Allow your heart for people to grow. Going through the process of valuing people can help you grow to where you genuinely value them. Changing your actions to show people you value them may start out feeling like duty at first. You may take positive actions to value someone and think, okay, I got that out of my way, now I can get back to work. But my hope is that season won't last very long and you will experience a change in heart and not have to keep going through the motions. But no matter what, it's important to keep taking action because without it, you won't change. The secret is how you see others. How we view things is how we do things. The right mindset comes from recognizing the world is not about you, it's about others. It's a choice every person can make and that every leader must make to travel on the high road. Only you can take ownership of the process. You know the steps, but nobody can take them for you. I hope you take them, because valuing people will open the door to all other steps you must take to live and lead on the high road. When you value all people, everybody wins.

C (12:04)

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A (13:12)

John has a quote. I remember when he started making this quote. He said, the ability to connect with others begins with understanding the value of people. I remember I was with John one time when he was in a very secular type environment, an environment that it was faith neutral. You didn't really know where everyone there was. It was a business event in all intents and purposes. And John was talking about from stage, he says, I value you today. I'm here, not because I have to. He's 78. He's written a lot of books. He's sold over 38 million copies of those books. He's doing quite well. He can be done if he wants to be done. But he was telling the audience, he says, I'm here today because I value you. I'm here today because I recognize the value in you. And I'm here today because we want to cultivate that value to increase your worth and so that you can become even more valuable. And a lady in the back kind of raised her hand while John was speaking. It was almost a little awkward. He's giving a lecture, and somebody raised her hand, just said, okay, enough of all this value stuff. Stop, stop, stop, stop. You don't know me. How can you value me? And John said, I'm not embarrassed with your question. I'm not offended with your question. He said, but I'm going to have to rely on my faith to answer the question. Would that be okay with you? And of course, the lady said, sure. It may not be my faith, but you can use your faith through that. And he said, well, I value you because the same God who created me and loves me created you and loves you. I see your value because I realize that you were created with value, that you have intrinsic value that you didn't even deserve, that you didn't acquire. You are valuable at your core. I love the answer. It challenged me. In fact, by that time, when John answered this question, some couple of years ago, we had already been challenging all of our coaches. We have 59,000 coaches in 169 countries, and we challenge every one of those coaches in the first session when we certify them. We certify them. The first thing we teach them is to say this. I am a person of value who values people and adds value to them. That's what we are. We are a human potential company. We see the potential in others. We mine that potential. We cultivate that potential. And then we increase that potential, we increase their value. That's why we can say we are people of Value that. Value people and add value to them. See, I believe you can't devalue someone to value someone else. I don't believe you can value something to increase the value in some way. I think you have to start with the intrinsic belief that there is unbelievable, undeniable, irrefutable value in every person you come in contact with. John also has another exercise. And I promise you I'm gonna pull out three points that I learned from John today, and I'm gonna give you some application for him, which is my expertise is to help you apply John Maxwell's content. And.

A (16:38)

I can remember when John did this the first time, and I watched him do it every time. The first time, it was a surprise to me. Now it's a surprise to others, and I'm going to have you play along with me. In fact, if you're on YouTube, you can even put it in the chat box or you can put it in the comments section. And it's this right here. Just say this with me. I value people I like. I value people I like. Isn't that true? I love. I see the value in the people that are like, you know why? They have the shared sense of purpose. They have a shared sense of desires and aspirations. And there's. There's something about them that connects us. And I just value them. People that are like me, I value. I'll tell you something else I want you to say. I want you to say, I value people I don't know.

A (17:27)

That's a little bit harder, isn't it? I. I value people I don't know. But, man, some of these people I don't know. The more I know, the more I don't like them. And the more I don't like them, the more I don't want to value them. Right. Are you like me? I mean. Okay, I'll go with you, Mark. I value people I don't know.

A (17:45)

But do I really? I just finished. About a month ago, I just finished a world tour. We were in seven countries in a little over two weeks. And I met some people I had never met. And I will tell you, whether it's my friends in Indonesia, whether it's my friends in Qatar or my friends in Oman, or.

A (18:05)

Those of you that I got to meet in Kenya, I tell you, I love going places. But more than I love going places, I love meeting the people in those places. There's just a value to these people around the world. And I'll tell you this, I value people that I like. I value people that I do. Can I challenge you? Just one more thing. Will you say this with me? Say it out loud. I value people I don't like.

A (18:37)

That's harder. That's harder, isn't it? See the first time John said that, he says I value people that I like. I value people I don't know. I value people that I don't like.

A (18:48)

It stops the audience, it arrests us because do we really see value in those that we don't agree with? Do you? And I see value in people that don't think like us, that don't vote like us, that don't believe like us, that don't share our worldview. And I dare say that often the less people resemble us, the less value we put on them. And if I could just reach through.

A (19:24)

YouTube channel or if I could just reach through your podcast player right now and just kind of give you a nice little nudge, a little grab of the shoulders and shake you a little bit, I'd say the true way to value people is to value them, especially when they don't think like you, when they don't look like you, when they don't act like you. And so with that in mind that John is saying value all people. That all is what I want to key on today as I give you kind of my takeaways from three points. Point number one, John says this, he makes this point. If we are to take the high road, we can't pick and choose who we value.

A (20:07)

You're not doing any effort that's worthy of high regard or high acclamation or creditation just because you value those that are close to you. It's when we have learned to value, value the people not like us. That's why John says you can't pick and choose who you value. The foundation of a high road leader is their willingness to value all people equally. Not pick and choose who to show equality to.

A (20:41)

John said it in the lesson. He says if we are to take the high road, we can't pick and choose who we've. We should never devalue someone by accepting others low opinion of them or placing a low value on ourselves. Oftentimes I found people with low self esteem, low self worth. They value others because of a lack of value in themselves. I can remember my third grade teacher, Ms. Richardson when she saw something in me that was worth noting, that was of value. It was that time in my life that everything was changing. My blonde hair was becoming red, my straight hair was becoming curly. My sense of confidence was depleting into Insufficiencies and incompetencies. And Ms. Richardson grabbed me that day and she said, mark, I'm going to call, I'm going to tell you something. I'm going to name my son Matthew. Because every time I see Matthew, it's going to remind me of Mark. And for the rest of his life, life and the rest of yours, I'm going to constantly think of you when I see your son. I have to tell you something. That day, Ms. Richardson looked beyond my ever changing physical characteristics and she saw meaning and value within me. And to this day, almost 50 years later, I'm still remembering Ms. Richardson. Why? Because she reached in and she chose me, me to put value on. How can you do that today? What can you do in your course of action that would value someone.

A (22:15)

That doesn't feel that value? I've heard it said often that generosity only really is generosity when there is no chance of reciprocation. In other words, giving to something or someone that has no possible way to come back and benefit you is the true test of authentic generosity. I think it's true in value too. The really, the only way you can value everyone is to find someone that has low to no value in your mind and begin to show them value, begin to communicate to them value, begin to lift them to value. Because of your actions, because of your motive, because of your intent, you increase the value that's within them.

A (23:06)

We have this again, coaching certification company and I challenge them all the time to increase their own value, to value those that they lead, that they influence. And then by doing that, growing yourself, growing, growing others, you will increase the value that you bring to the table. So here's what I want you to do today to apply this first point on. We don't get to pick and choose who we value, but you still have to take the high road and value everyone.

A (23:39)

Application number one is I want you to pause and reflect on your circles. The people you spend time with, the people in your sphere of influence. Who do you tend to value more in your sphere, in your circle, who might you be unintentionally overlooking or writing off in your circle right now? Who is it that with just a little short moment spent giving a kind word, saying something nice, that you could instantly, radically increase their perception of value? I want you this week, this week, I want you to make a deliberate effort to make someone who's different from you or include someone that is different than you who you might disagree with in conversation. And I want you to communicate to them their value in your eyes. John mentioned it in his lesson. We're in a place now, whether it's social media or whether it's just in how we do things, that we are constantly looking for the places that were different and highlighting those differences. Why don't you and I, podcast listener, podcast viewer, why don't we get a higher narrative and start looking for the ways we're similar.

A (24:57)

With the people around us? That's how you're going to find value. If you focus on the places that your difference, political, religious, you focus on the places that you disagree, you're going to inadvertently devalue the people around you. So this week, I want you to find someone who's different than you, and I want you to find someone that you've disagreed with, and I want you to communicate them the value that you see in them. Get a higher narrative. Who in your world today might be feeling undervalued? Who in your world today can you take a step and show them their worth? The second point that I pulled from John today is when you value all people, you can't help but build better relationships. John says this. He says, you get three returns. When you value people, you get a relational return, you get an emotional return, and you get a leadership return. Here's what John's really saying is when you value people, you make a relational investment that pays off with deepening trust, that pays off with a deeper connection and pays off with a deeper payoff. You get results. You get a return when you value people. I've watched John many, many, many, many times. On a golf course, most people are tipping the caddies and tipping the bag crew that pulls the bag out of the car, puts the bag back in the car. I've watched John hundreds of times go and find the groundskeeper, the women and men that are making the golf course in pristine condition, and go to them and say, hey, I don't know if anybody's told you today, but can I tip you and thank you for the work you do to make this course look good? Now they have to do that. That's their job. They do that. They're thankful for their job. They're not helping John carry his bag so he didn't have to carry it or read a putt so that he makes a better score. What they're doing is making a huge difference. But when you take time and show them value, you can begin to see the lift, the pride, the sense of accomplishment. That happens. And this is because when you value all people, when you look for ways to Add value to those people. When you note the value that is within them, you increase the value.

A (27:30)

They see in themselves. You lift their lid, you increase their value. I want you today, I want you to start one relationship building activity.

A (27:44)

That will make a difference in the lives of others. I don't know, maybe it's sending a thank you card, maybe it's picking up the phone and calling someone. I know we're in the world of text and email, but maybe you should just go old fashioned and you should pick up the phone and actually call somebody and just say, I want you to know I'm calling to appreciate you because I value you. And by valuing you I want to increase your appreciation. I want to appreciate you.

A (28:12)

If you already care about people and value them, but you don't take action to express it, how will you increase their value? They already know I challenge our grandkids every meal. Find somebody responsible for getting that meal to you and show appreciation. Now I don't say that that's a lesson for gratitude. But let me tell you what happens every time when they do that. These days I look at them and say, is that gratitude or is that valuation?

A (28:48)

And when I first started asking my 12 year old, 8 year old, 6 year old grandsons that they kind of just had this perplexed look. I began to teach them there is gratitude. But oftentimes gratitude will lead to valuation and valuation will increase perception that what you have has a greater sense of value to it because you have noted it from a place of gratitude. This can start with gratitude, but that gratitude will take you to a place of valuation and that valuation will allow you to scale it and help others believe in their self worth. So what's one action you can do today to increase the value of someone else? What is it? What can you do today to increase the perception and the valuation of someone around you? The third point that I really like that John talked about.

A (29:55)

Is valuing people is an intentional action. It's a muscle. Valuing people can be developed in you, but you've got to exercise it. It's not just a feeling. I feel good. So let me value you today. I'm having a great day. Lucky you. Let me show you your value. No, it is a discipline. It's every day I value people. Every day I think of a way to increase the value of people. High road leaders demonstrate worth through tangible behaviors. They find a way to increase the worth of the people around them. I'm thinking today as I'm sitting in the studio with just me and our producer Jake. And I'm thinking about just having went through, went to a lot of cities and had a ton of people say, hey, Mark, thank you for the podcast. I listen to it weekly. Thank you, Mark. I just finished X podcast and I'm going to tell you, that particular one was my favorite. I heard it over and over and over again all around the globe. And today I sit here and I go, you know, I woke up early this morning and I thought about you podcast family. I prepared for you. I listened to John's lesson early this morning because I wanted to be ready for you. I wanted to add value to you. I could have done all of the prep that I had did. John could deliver all the content that he's done. But if it wasn't for my friend Jake in the studio today, all my friends in Indonesia that I just met, all my friends all over the Middle east that I just met that said, hey, your podcast has impacted me, I wouldn't have been able to add value to you today. We say it so easily, so almost glib around here. We add value to people who multiply value to others, but it requires people of great competence with great value to come in and help us make all of this possible. Who in your life is helping you add value to others that is being overlooked in the value they add to you. Who is it? Who? Who is it? As we end this year.

A (32:19)

Can absolutely use a kind word, a value increase moment to you.

A (32:31)

I often sit down with my kids, my grandkids, and I ask them, what was your greatest accomplishment while I was gone.

A (32:41)

While I was traveling, what is the thing that you're the most proud of in your accomplishment? I just recently did this and my oldest grandson Ryder said, paul, the thing I'm most excited about is we had neighbors move in here and the 11 year old son didn't want to move. He had no desire to be in this neighborhood. And I looked at him and I said, my family is better because you're in this neighborhood.

A (33:11)

I said, well, what did he say? He said, you're better because I'm here. And he said, Ryder, this is 11 year old. Thank you for telling me that. You made me feel important.

A (33:25)

Now what Ryder did was he went and just tried to add value. He probably was thinking of what can be my greatest accomplishment because I know my grandfather's coming home and going to ask me this. I don't know what drove it, but I know what the outcome was.

A (33:39)

The outcome was a young man that was in a situation that he didn't want to be in that. All of a sudden saw purpose and meaning in that situation. That's what I'm talking about. When you can look for ways to add value, you will increase and get a return on the relationship. They've now become great friends. They're like. They're like two peas in a pod. Why? Because they have similar interests? Maybe, maybe not. It's too early to tell. Because they like the same sport? I don't think so. But maybe they did because they're together, because they're friends, because one of them decided to notice something about the other one and highlight it and bring out the value in it. And by doing so increased the value of that person, but got a return at the relational level. I told Ryder, I said, ryder, you're a leader. That's what you did. You led in a difficult time in someone else's life. And just like Ryder's new friend, my grandson kind of squared his shoulders, says, I guess you're right, Paul. I guess I am a leader. I guess I can lead. That's what I want for you today. I want you to value all people. Don't wait to know what they believe before you value them. Value them as a belief. Value them because you know intrinsically that they have the same value that you have. Here's what I want you to do this week. I want you to keep a valuing others journal for one week.

A (35:21)

Write down every time you intentionally show value to someone else. Then I want you to reflect on what you learned. In fact, this week, I would like for you to take that journal entry and I want you to put it into our notes. Whether you listen on Spotify or itunes or maybe you watch on YouTube, I want you to listen a way that you added value to someone. This week, we're going to have a value fest. We're just going to feast on the way that we add value because that will multiply value to others. And by demonstrating it to them, you too will become a huge leader. My friend Rodney Galbraith, he did a video called Be a Thermostat Leader back on September 12th. I'm going to put the link to our app in our show notes, and I want you to go back and listen to what Roddy says about being a thermostat leader. Because here's why. Great leaders value other people by seeing the potential, not just their present state. And when you put a 10 on everyone's head, people rise to the level of the belief you place in them. Valuing all people really means that treating everyone as capable, gifted, worthy of investment, they don't have to prove anything. They have to stand up and step up to what you believe in them. There's an episode that we did called the Heart of Leadership, and really we cover a lot of this value in that. I'm going to put that in our show notes so that you can go and review that episode as well. One of my favorite things is reading our comments or questions from our podcast family. Mal asked a question after listening to how to Increase youe Focus. That's an episode that we did some time ago. We'll put that in the show notes. And this was Mal's question. What are some good questions to ask yourself during difficult times of refocusing? Mal, I love this question because truly, of all the times I feel distracted, it's the difficult times. You're trying to solve a problem. You're not sure exactly how to solve the problem. You're not sure what step to take next. And so some questions that I ask myself, number one, and this is during difficult times, how emotional am I right now? Because I have found you don't ask good questions or make good decisions in times of emotion. I love emotion. I'm a passionate person. It's one of my top values. But passion in getting things done is not the same as emotion in trying to solve difficult problems. So I ask myself, how emotional am I? Number two, I ask myself the question, what are the multiple ways to solve this problem? I believe there's always an answer. And as John says, I believe there's always more than one answer. So I never come to a difficult problem with with just one solution. I come with multiple solutions and the best option. So another question is, what are my options? What's my recommendation of which option to use? The third question that I always ask myself is, who is with me? Who's with me right now? I don't believe it's good for people to be alone. I think it's even worse to be alone in a difficult time. And so I constantly ask the question, who is with me right now? Who am I leaning on? Who can I go to? Who's my lifeline? Who's my phone? A friend? Who's the person that I can reach out to that will help make this moment a less difficult one and give me the solutions that will solve the problems. Mal, thank you to all of our podcast family. Thank you. I hope you will go and add value to all people today because everyone deserves to be led. Well.

C (39:23)

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