Transcript
Chris (0:00)
Foreign.
Mark Cole (0:08)
Welcome back to the Maxwell Leadership Podcast. Happy New Year. If you're current and up to date, I hope it's already working. I hope those New Year's resolutions are still being resolved. That's right, Chris. Any New Year's resolution. You.
Chris (0:22)
I'm not talking about it because they're already over.
Mark Cole (0:25)
He's already complaining about having to walk to the front door of the gym to work out. Right now it's already happening. Hey, welcome to our podcast. We really are passionate this year and every year, all of our past episodes. We're really passionate about adding value to you. You're important to us. We value you. But we also do that for a reason. We value you and add value to you because we want you to go value others and multiply value to them. And so thanks for being on the podcast with us in the podcast family with us. Go back and listen to previous episodes. They're not bad. I promise you they will help you. And we're excited about today's episode. Chris, I'm glad you're glad to be here. Yep. I am not going to put you on the spot on your New Year's resolutions. What I am going to do is I'm going to put all of us on the spot because John today is going to make a nine word statement in the lesson that I want you to grab. And here's the nine word statement. It's not about you. It is all about others. And John's going to teach us about that today as he teaches. It's not about you, it's about leadership, communication and, and putting others first. If you would like to download a bonus resource we have for you, if you would like to get into the show, notes, if you'd like to watch us on video and make sure that Chris is dressed right today, you can go to maxwellpodcast.com others first. And we'll have tools and resources there to equip you. Here we go. It is going to be a great lesson, Chris and I will be back to apply it. Listen up, here's John.
John C. Maxwell (2:02)
The advice I give you is just very simple. Life's not about you. And maybe another way to say it that's a little nastier is just get over yourself. And in fact, I tell people all the time you ought to laugh at yourself. Everyone else is. So you might as well laugh at yourself and get over yourself. Don't take yourself seriously. But where I learned that and got that advice was when I was in college. My father was the president of the first college I Went to. And it was a theological school because I was going into ministry. And so we had a college quartet, and I happened to be in that college quartet. And we were in Michigan on a trip, a kind of a musical tour. And we were going to do something that night, and we were making a group decision. There were five of us in the quartet. My dad happened to be with us on this trip. And so we were kind of deciding what we're going to do that evening. And I didn't get my way, and I expressed myself. I said, I pouted and I was not happy. And I let everybody know I wasn't happy. And I'll never forget that. My father said, excuse me. He pulled me out of the group and we went to another room where we were staying, and he sat me on the bed and he gave me my first lecture on it's not about you, John. And it was in that setting that he taught me the difference between maturity and immaturity. You talk about advice that helps you to grow up real quick, you know. He said, maturity, a person that's mature, they can see perspective from other people's viewpoint. He says, somebody that's in mature, they can only see their own perspective. It's all about them, and it's all about what they think or what they see. And he said, john, you were very immature out there. It was all about you. And when you didn't get your way, it was really all about you. Because he said, you kind of created a fuss. And then I remember he grounded me. He just said, I just think that there are a couple privileges I just need to kind of take away from you until you kind of get a little bit more mature, because it's not about you. And what I tell people all the time is the day you become a great communicator and start the step of learning greatness and communication is when you get over yourself. When I talk to you, I'm talking to you right now. It's not about me. It has nothing to do about me. Has everything to do about you. I've got some thoughts here on my iPad, but by and large, it's all about you. I was reading an article by Jerry Seinfeld, the great comedian, and it was very. It was very interesting, very insightful about comedy. And so my favorite part, I'm just pulling out part of the article. It was a quote by his, and I want to read it to you. He said he was talking about how to be successful in comedy. He said, if you're doing it for Them, the audience, you'll be fine. If you're doing it for you. That could be problematic at a certain point because they'll know it, they'll feel it, and they won't like it. When I read that, I thought, this man understands communication. Basically he says, as long as it's about the audience, you're just going to go. But he said, the moment you get wrapped up in yourself, he said, there's going to come a time. They may not catch on the first time, but there's going to come a time where they're going to begin to know it, they're going to begin to feel it and they're not going to like it because they're going to know now what you're doing is self serving. And so as I ponder Seinfeld's words, I believe that they hold value that far beyond just comedy and the entertainment industry. And I would sum up the key point in just nine words. It's not about you, it's all about them. And I think that is major advice. You see, there's incredible power when you just focus on others. Again, my life was changed when I heard Zig Ziglar in my twenties say, as a leader, if you'll help people get what they want, they'll help you get what you want. And all of a sudden I realized I had to pivot, that I was saying, get on my leadership train. And it was all about me. And that day Zig said, no, no, it's not about you, John, it's about others. And I walked out of there and I said, okay, what Zig is teaching me now, what I'm passing on to you as far as best advice today is, is add value to people first. You be the first to help them. Don't wait for them to step up and help you. And I know that doesn't make sense, but here, I want you to catch this. The more you value others and the more that you add value to others, the more that you'll receive value back from others. I don't know, this would almost be the lull of the boomerang. Okay. There's something about once you pour into other people and quit worrying about what you're gonna receive or quit worrying about how much they like you, all of a sudden there's a return again. I was reading an article by Amazon founder Jeff Bezos and he said something very interesting. He said he credited Amazon's growth and long term success on what he called obsessive compulsive focus on the customer and he has a whole list of what he calls customer obsession, which number one is that you put the people absolutely first. And I just, this is such an incredible principle. And so I was writing down some things that I wanted to pass on you. For example, if you're in sales, if the buyer believes that you have their best interest all the time, when they're ready to buy, they'll seek you out. If you're a speaker and the audience knows that it's all about them and not about you, they'll not only embrace your message, they'll embrace you as a manager. If you're kind and you're encouraging and you give corrective feedback, the people, they'll work harder for you, they'll come back and they'll make those positive changes. When I write, when I write, if I'm writing pages and it's about hope and help, I know that that reader is going to keep turning the pages. It just happens that way. As a leader, if I'm building trust in my people, I know that they're going to give me trust in return. It's kind of like the golden rule. Treat others as you'd like to be treated and all of a sudden it comes back to you.
