Maxwell Leadership Podcast — Episode Summary

Episode: Why Self-Awareness Sets Great Leaders Apart

Host: John C. Maxwell (with Mark Cole & Chris Goede)
Date: December 31, 2025

Main Theme / Purpose

This episode explores why self-awareness is an essential trait that separates great leaders from the rest. Drawing from John Maxwell’s experience, conversations (notably with Dan Cathy of Chick-fil-A), and personal stories, the discussion dives into the practical and philosophical aspects of self- and situational awareness. The hosts unpack the necessity of knowing oneself, soliciting feedback, avoiding assumptions, and leveraging both internal and external awareness to maximize leadership capacity and impact.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Law of Awareness: "You Must Know Yourself to Grow Yourself"

• [03:32] John Maxwell highlights that self-awareness underpins all personal growth. Until leaders recognize their strengths, weaknesses, and blind spots, they cannot reach their full capacity.

  • “Let’s face it, you can’t fix what you’re unaware of.” — John Maxwell [04:18]

• Self-awareness is described as foundational; before leading others well, a leader must first “find” and understand themselves.

  • “I’ve got to find myself before I can lead myself.” — John Maxwell [05:13]

2. Assumptions are Leadership’s "Mother of All Mess-Ups"

• [05:00] Many leadership mistakes stem from unchallenged assumptions.
  • Leaders must avoid assuming they know their people—or themselves—without first investing in real understanding.

3. Self-Awareness Requires Others

• [06:30, 13:06] Both John, Mark, and Chris repeatedly emphasize that true self-awareness comes from honest, external feedback rather than solitary introspection.

  • “I don’t think there’s such a thing as self-awareness. ... It’s because somebody loved me enough to come alongside and help me with my blind spots.” — John Maxwell [06:49]
  • “Self-awareness involves deep personal honesty. It comes from asking and answering hard questions.” — Mark Cole quoting Stephen Covey [13:06]
  • "There's nothing self about self-awareness. It takes the ability to be open to having people around you that will pour into you." — Chris Goede [13:37]

• [14:59] Harvard Business Review: 95% think they are self-aware, but only 10–15% actually are.

4. Adversity and Crises Reveal True Selves

• [08:03] Crisis—like COVID-19—does not create character but exposes it.
  • “Adversity, crisis… doesn’t [necessarily make] you better… it just reveals who we are.” — John Maxwell [08:35]
  • Leaders must have values and clarity internally before crisis hits, as it reveals preparedness and integrity.

5. Personal Story: Dan Cathy’s Leadership in Action

• [09:38] John shares an anecdote about Dan Cathy at a golf club buffet, using Dan's simple act of service as a model for authentic leadership—demonstrating that leadership culture must flow from personal authenticity, not just organizational branding.
  • “Dan lives what his company advertises. It’s in him, it’s who he is. It makes him authentic, but it also makes the message of his organization authentic.” — John Maxwell [11:13]

6. Self-Awareness in Practice: The Reflection-Action Loop

• [16:58–24:02] Mark Cole narrates a recent episode where he received corrective feedback from John Maxwell about not just what decision he’d reached, but how he reached it and the importance of context over mere conclusion.
  • Mark realized the importance of not just being right, but understanding multiple perspectives to enable better ongoing leadership:
    • "Self-awareness really comes from others...I'm always passionate to come to the conclusion, not passionate on how I arrived at the conclusion, therefore shortchanging what to do because of the conclusion." — Mark Cole [21:12]
  • Steps Mark took:
    • Identifying other contexts: He reflected on similar situations where he might have repeated the same blind spot.
    • Seeking accountability: He called colleagues to check his patterns and invited them to hold him accountable.
    • Paying it forward: He used his new understanding to coach another leader.
      • "When you get a conclusion, become self-aware about something you need, go make it right." — Mark Cole [25:03]

7. Self-Awareness and Situational Awareness: Both Are Needed

• [27:05, 30:33] Chris underscores that leadership capacity—the “law of the lid”—is capped by the level of the leader’s self and situational awareness.
  • Self-awareness is the “internal dashboard,” while situational awareness is the “external radar.”
  • Both together create effective, adaptive, and authentic leadership.

8. Situational Awareness: Learning from Models and Context

• [30:33] Mark describes three disciplines of situational awareness:

  1. Context over content/conclusion: Understanding the nuances before making decisions.
  2. Learning through experience: Improvement comes by acting, learning from the outcome, and adjusting.
  3. Modeling others: It’s not weakness to ask “what would John do?” or to borrow best practices from mentors.
     • "Situational awareness comes from without, just like self-awareness comes from without." — Mark Cole [32:52]

• Mark strongly advises against isolating leadership decision-making, noting that humility to seek feedback and model from others is critical.

  • “Giving myself the permission to put myself in someone else's shoes helps me situationally all the time.” — Mark Cole [33:56]

9. Execution Tips for Leaders

• Ask others for feedback—both one-on-one and in teams.
  • “I pause a moment in any situation and I ask somebody else, ‘What am I missing?’” — Mark Cole [35:44]
• Solicit instant feedback after meetings for continual situational awareness.
• Accept that leadership requires both authenticity and adaptability.
  • Self-awareness without situational awareness: authentic but possibly ineffective.
  • Situational awareness without self-awareness: potentially strategic but inauthentic or unsafe.

10. Alignment Over Agreement

• Mark and Chris discuss that agreement is less important than alignment—being committed to the same goals even if perspectives differ [24:25–24:35].

11. Personal and Organizational Growth

• Leadership is contagious: Modeling awareness and feedback-seeking behavior sets a cultural precedent.

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• John Maxwell: “You can’t fix what you’re unaware of.” [04:18]
• John Maxwell: “The mother of all mess-ups in leadership is assumptions.” [05:00]
• John Maxwell: “I’ve got to find myself before I can lead myself.” [05:13]
• John Maxwell: “I don’t think there’s such a thing as self-awareness. ... Somebody loved me enough to come alongside and help me with my blind spots.” [06:49]
• John Maxwell: “Adversity, crisis… doesn’t [necessarily make] you better… it just reveals who we are.” [08:35]
• John Maxwell: “Dan lives what his company advertises. It’s in him, it’s who he is.” [11:13]
• Mark Cole (quoting Covey): “Self-awareness involves deep personal honesty. It comes from asking and answering hard questions.” [13:06]
• Chris Goede: “There's nothing self about self-awareness. It takes the ability to be open to having people around you that will pour into you...” [13:37]
• Mark Cole: “I'm always passionate to come to the conclusion, not passionate on how I arrived at the conclusion, therefore shortchanging what to do because of the conclusion.” [21:12]
• Mark Cole: "We're in agreement, but we're not in alignment... You don't have to be in agreement, but you have to be in alignment." [24:30]
• Mark Cole: "When you get a conclusion, become self-aware about something you need, go make it right." [25:03]
• Mark Cole: “Situational awareness comes from without, just like self-awareness comes from without.” [32:52]
• Mark Cole: “Giving myself the permission to put myself in someone else’s shoes helps me situationally all the time.” [33:56]
• Mark Cole: “I pause a moment in any situation and I ask somebody else, ‘What am I missing?’” [35:44]

Key Timestamps for Segments

• [03:32–11:27] John Maxwell’s teaching — why self-awareness is foundational, the power of feedback, and leadership anecdotes (Dan Cathy story)
• [13:06–27:27] Mark & Chris dialogue — practical applications, the feedback loop, blind spots, example leadership corrections, and peer accountability
• [27:27–37:36] Application — moving from self-awareness to situational awareness, modeling behavior, reading context, building leadership capacity
• [37:36–41:21] Closing reflections — tying self- and situational awareness to authenticity, alignment, and purpose-led leadership

Episode Takeaways

• Self-awareness is the non-negotiable foundation for outstanding leadership.
• Feedback from others is required for genuine self-awareness—blind spots will not reveal themselves alone.
• Challenge assumptions; ask, don’t assume.
• Crisis reveals—not builds—true values and self-knowledge.
• Situational awareness demands humility: Seek examples, model others, invite team input.
• Leadership effectiveness is maximized when self-awareness (internal integrity) and situational awareness (external adaptability) work together.
• True leaders model vulnerability and transparency, setting an example for cultures of self-improvement.

Great leadership is not about always having the answers, but about continually seeking clarity—about oneself, the situation, and the people one leads. This episode is a masterclass in humble, ever-adaptive, value-driven leadership.