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Med Spa CEO
How to Build Unshakable Self-Trust and Achieve Limitless Growth
00:33:43
Where does lack of self-trust hold you back? In this episode, I dive deep into the limits we subconsciously set for ourselves and how to break through them in order to achieve limitless growth in 2025. I share mindset shifts and strategies to develop...
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I want to ask you the question, where does lack of self trust show up for you? I'm going to share with you some of the ways it shows up for me, but I want you to really think about internally for yourself where that lack of self trust is percolating for you as I ask you that question. Welcome to the MedSpa CEO podcast where I teach you how to grow and scale your med, spa or aesthetic practice so that you can have the income and impact you know you were meant for without overwhelm, stress or feeling like you have to sacrifice your personal life and happiness to do so. It's totally possible for you and your business. Plus simpler than you think. Keep listening to find out how well hello my friend. Welcome back to another episode. I am, as always, so thrilled you're joining me today. Today's episode is going to be a little bit more personal in n and I'm gonna be talking about some of the big shifts that I am making, both personally and of course professionally, and taking you along with me as well. And when I look at 2025 and beyond, and when I look at what my goals are, my vision for my business, for my life is I'm really diving deep into this concept and it's in fact, it's my focus for 2025. It's this idea of limitless. How can I become more limitless? In fact, I am launching a mastermind with that name, Limitless in it. And today's episode is going to be talking about letting go of limits to become limitless. And I'm going to take you through this journey as it's happening for myself right now and where I am seeing all of the limits consciously and subconsciously that I have created for myself over the years that, you know, were established back when I was experiencing big T's and little T's as a child and teenager and adolescent all the way up through adulthood. Now, so many of you know that a few years ago, so back in 2020 in Covid, I had a social media membership, the Skin Socialite. And the work that I did with clients was very, very strategic and tactical. There wasn't very much. There was like a sprinkling of mindset stuff in there. But the core of the work we did was more strategic and tactical, very pragmatic, very cognitive, part of any kind of coaching, consulting. And if we back up a year before that, a year or two before that, I had gone to see my primary care doctor, who was actually a new primary care doctor to me, I'd switched Doctors to find one that was more close in my neighborhood. And through the process of getting my. Well check my initial physical with her. She looked at my family history of cancer and really advised that I get genetic testing done. And so both of my parents had cancer at a young age. My mom was in her 30s, my dad was in his 40s, and lots of cancer, especially on my mom's side at a young age. And so I went to Virginia Piper here in town in Phoenix, where I'm based, and went and had genetic testing done and came to find out that I do in fact have a hereditary cancer syndrome called SDHB type 4. Okay, so this is like BRCA for those of you who are familiar with BRCA or Lynch or some of the more common hereditary cancer syndromes, what BRCA is to breast cancer and ovarian cancer, SDH B type 4 is to endocrine tumors. And so at the time of this diagnosis, I was 40 years old, or almost 40 years old at the time that I discovered it. And the average age that somebody who's diagnosed with this actually ends up having an endocrine tumor is the age of 30. And I was actually 40 years old when I was diagnosed. And it was earth shattering to me, not only for myself, but each of my daughters has a 50% chance of having this genetic mutation as well. And I was shook, so shook by this diagnosis. I was like so depressed for the next few weeks. I didn't sleep at night. I drank too much wine to kind of cope with it. And I ended up stumbling upon a coach at the time. Her name is Brooke Castillo from the Life Coach School. And I ended up signing up for her program, really, because I knew that how I was experiencing that diagnosis wasn't how I wanted to spend the rest of my life. And I wanted to take some ownership over emotionally and what my beliefs were around that diagnosis. And so I ended up diving deep into her work and some other kind of adjacent work to that. I ended up becoming a certified life coach in the process. And I went through all of that really because for my own personal development, I wasn't planning on working as a life coach per se. I was like, this will be great. Another sort of skill set for me to have as more of like a consultant marketing expert, which is what I was primarily working as. But then fast forward to Covid in 2020. I had about 150 people in this skin socialite membership and every single person's business shut down during the lockdown. So every single client I had business had to stop. They couldn't actually see patients or clients because of COVID And what I discovered in that moment is I took my life coaching skills and I ended up creating a program inside of the skin Socialite membership called thriving beyond COVID 19. And I doubled down with any of our active clients who actually had more time because of COVID to invest in themselves from a time and even some of them a money perspective when it came to personal development, when it came to marketing, of course, too. And also how they were thinking about running their business and how they were going to show up to this circumstance that was outside of their control. And so the coaching that I have done is what you would call more cognitive coaching. Okay? It really helps. It informs a lot of the work I do when I'm coaching CEOs inside of MSA. When I'm coaching their team members, it impacts everything that we do. Because what I've discovered over the years of coaching hundreds and hundreds of business owners at this point is that if I give the same strategy to 10 different businesses, it is implemented incredibly different, based on the thinking and the belief system, of course, impacts the energy for which that person shows up to that strategy. Okay? And so now if you're in MSA or any of my programs, there's this intersection of where strategy is met with also me undressing, understanding psychologically what you all are limiting yourself with as well. So this year, and as I said, like the theme of this episode and the theme of 2025 for me is how can I let go of the limits that are keeping me playing small right now and become limitless? And so I want to share with you and open up with you some of the work that I'm doing that has already helped me, some of the work that I'm actually in the process of doing right now so that it can help you, too. So recently I hired an energetics coach to actually help me with this work. And it's interesting, and I actually said this on a recent podcast episode as well, too. And it's something that you want to know for yourself, but also something that you want to know about your team members and then even the clients and the patients that you come to serve, is that 95% of our decisions are subconscious decisions. And 80 to 95% of the actions we take, depending on who you ask, are coming from the subconscious. These are often AKA called habits. Right? We're in the habit of brushing our teeth every day. We're in the habit of going to sleep a certain way we're in the habit of going about our lives. And so it's important for us to know this, that subconsciously we are running on autopilot for a large amount of the decisions we make and the actions we take. The reason why it's important for us to know this is because in order to shift ourselves to actually break through the ceiling that we have, we have to be aware that we subconsciously, unintentionally, have created a ceiling for ourselves. You have a ceiling for you, I have a ceiling for me. And in order to break through that ceiling, we have to be more intentional with going about it. And in fact, in the Big Leap, if you've ever read the book the Big Leap by Hendrix, he's a Stanford psychologist and he talks about this, this idea that we all have an upper limit problem that subconsciously will keep us playing small. Now, he doesn't say the words playing small, although he might at some point. But it keeps us doing, keeps us the same. And it's because it's incredibly more efficient for our brain to just be able to be on autopilot, right? And our brain, that motivational triad seeking pleasure, avoiding pain, looking for efficiencies like our brain, doesn't want the cognitive load to be high. So I'm going to share with you some core shifts that have helped me actually become aware of the limits that I have created for myself that I wasn't even aware of. And to share with you some of the limits that I see many of you unintentionally, whether it's conscious or subconsciously creating for yourselves as well too. So one of the key shifts that I've noticed, that is something that I witness in the most successful people that I know in my life, whether they're successful CEOs, they're successful coaches, they're successful in whatever endeavor that they are going after, whether they're a really successful professional athlete. My husband and I have a number of personal friends who had long careers in the NFL or Major League Baseball or what have you. And one quality that they all have is this incredible self trust. And one of the limits that I've noticed when I reflect back and I look back at the past few years in my own life, and then of course, after coaching so many clients at this point is that there is a lower amount of self trust in those of you who aren't having as much success as quickly as you would like to. And then when I look at my clients who've had incredible success, who've gone from maybe you know, I have a client who went from 30k months to $200,000 months. You know, they've gone from 0 to $150,000 months. They started at 500k and now they're doing 3 to 4 million dollars a year annually with just one location. When I look at one of the core qualities that they all have in common, it's this idea of self trust. They are able to make decisions at a rate that is so much faster and the energy behind those decisions because of the self trust that they have. And so I'm gonna share with you. I actually have my journal for those of you who are just listening. I have my journal. I have a couple different journals on my lap. I actually have a journal that is, I call it my thought download journal. And it's where I just can dump out my brain onto my journal and really be able to unpack and see where I am limiting myself, where am I keeping myself, playing small? Where is any of the cognitive dissonance that I am experiencing coming from? It helps you actually unpack the onion of that. So I have a journal for that. Then I also have a big sketchbook that I keep. And every day I open up the sketchbook to a new piece of paper so that I have a blank canvas every day. And this sketchbook is where I am able to doodle my ideas ideas. It's where I develop my frameworks and my processes. It's where conceptually, even when I'm putting together a training or I'm really trying to think of a way that I can actually teach something differently, I'm able to get it down on paper. And it's another place where I may just like mind map my thoughts as well too. And so I have them both in front of me and I'm going to share with you some of the ways that I have already broken through the limits, limits that I was creating for myself and the limits also that I've seen my clients do as well and how I am breaking through with that. So I want to ask you the question, where does lack of self trust show up for you? I'm going to share with you some of the ways it shows up for me. But I want you to really think about internally for yourself, where that lack of self trust is percolating for you as I ask you that question. Because self trust is actually a muscle that you can develop. So even if you are one of those people, well, right now you're listening to this and you're like, heather, I have such A low amount of self trust. And you know, this is you. When you feel like you cannot make a decision without having to pull everybody around you, you have to go to that Facebook group and drop a question in there. You have to ask your husband or partner. You have to ask your peers. You have to like go and do a lot of due diligence research. You spend a lot of time where you have a lot of open loops in your head. The list of things that you need to get done is long. The list of decisions that you need to make is just growing. And it's because you are making decisions slowly because you think that there is a perfect answer to that question out there. And what I'm here to tell you in this episode is that there is no right or wrong decision. There's the decision you decide to make. Right? And we are able to make that decision right when we have trust with ourselves. So one, it's going to help you make decisions faster, but it's also going to help you actually have your own back after that decision's been made, whether or not you perceive that that decision was the right or wrong decision, you will have your own back more, which in turn actually will give you a higher likelihood. Spoiler alert. That action will actually produce a better result. Right? Because we're not half in, half out of that decision. We're not actually kind of retracting because we're unsure on that decision. We're actually going forward energetically with more certainty and confidence to it. Okay, so here are some of the ways that my self trust muscle was slower. This is from the beginning of just this year. Okay, so second guessing the F out of things instead of just moving, constantly hiring for advice, the path, the way, looking outside of myself for the answers instead of spending more time really asking myself and searching for my own answers. Overthinking social posts, talking to my team and trying to sugarcoat things. Sometimes you know when you're doing this, you're using little heart emojis to, you know, sugarcoat whatever you're telling a team member because you want to. People please people pleasing, giving away my time for free when I know I shouldn't be giving away my time for free as well too. Not completely trusting, outsourcing and investing in certain things because I'm like, will this work out right? So what I have done to actually build the muscle of self trust. So I'm going to ask you again to really think about where does that lack of self trust show up for you? With my clients, I see it as they take an incredibly long time to decide on something, they invest in something because somebody else told them they should do it. Even though they weren't sure that they should invest in that thing. They spend a lot of time polling other peers. You know, sometimes it can make sense to poll somebody. When you're like investing in new technology, hey, are you getting good results with this technology, that's one thing. But actually polling your peers constantly for what, what marketing you should do, what pricing you should have, how should you put together your offers? Polling shows a low amount of self trust. And what happens is my clients who have an incredible amount of self trust, I have an incredible amount of self trust in certain areas. My work that I do with clients is my own. I hired somebody recently, I can't even think of who it was, but they were like, you know, who are your competitors and what are their offers and pricing? And I had no idea. I spend zero amount of time looking at my competitors. In fact, I have some friends who are my competitors that I have muted. I'm still like Instagram or Facebook friends with them, but I actually have their content muted. And it's because I like to know that all of my ideas are really truly mine. And so that's an area where I have an incredible amount of self driving trust. You may have a lower amount of self trust in that area. You may need to go on a consumption diet. Right. You may need to detox where you are actually consuming a lot of information because your self trust muscle is so low. Okay. The shift is making decisions, owning those decisions no matter what, not having to think that there's got to be a preconceived time that you have to think about it. You actually don't need to think about it in most circumstances. There are a few decisions you need to make in your business where you actually need to think about it a ton. One of those might be like a 5 or 10 year lease on real estate. Okay, yeah, you might want to do some more due diligence research in that circumstance. But what I will tell you is that my clients who actually are, who have this self trust muscle better, they are able to make decisions quicker. And what happens is you get results so much faster. It's not that these clients are even making better decisions, it's just they're getting feedback on their decisions at such a faster clip than their counterparts, then their peers and then other folks that I work with that they get the feedback faster. Whether it's a fail or a win. Doesn't matter. They're able to iterate so much faster than someone else because they are actually taking action so much faster. The other thing to do that I've done is actually setting time to actually be in silence, to actually tap into. Some of you are so out of touch for what you even believe, what even your likes are because you've spent so much time and especially with social media and everything right now, it's really easy to abdicate all of that to other things because we do have so much information. I mean we're overwhelmed with it. So setting aside time to actually be in silence so that you can actually give yourself advice, so you can tap into your own knowing. I have spent so much more time this year in meditation, in silence, in pausing myself before asking somebody else's opinion, really tapping in, making sure that I even know what my own opinion is, what my own belief about something is. What do I want? What do I think? So taking time to sit in silence and then that self trust of going imperfect action is better than inaction. That has been a mantra that I've lived by for like the last 10 years. But I'm always a work in progress on it as well too. So where are you staying in inaction? That is a clue to an area of your life and your business that you have low self trust on. Like really deciding that you're gonna sell what you want, charge what you want, and reminding yourself that you are truly brilliant and an expert at what you do. What's interesting is that a number of years ago I actually had an E commerce business at the time. And I was at this conference. Okay, was this personal development? It was Todd Herman's 90 day year conference actually. And this was in like 2015 I think. They were little offshoot groups from this program and conference that I was in. And I remember there was these group of other e commerce business owners. There was all different types of business owners at this event. There was an event for entrepreneurs, but there were all different types of entrepreneurs there. And we had decided that we were going to exchange expertise with each other. And so I had said I'm really good at pay per click at the time. This is how long ago it was still called that on Amazon. Amazon was one of the channels I sold on. And so I had gotten really good at their paid ads program platform. And then another guy said that he was really good at organic marketing on Facebook. Okay, and so those are a couple examples. But everybody came with something to share and to provide. They were all men and I was the Only woman in this group. And they were lovely. Okay? They weren't like slimy bro marketers or anything like that. They were family guys and they were awesome. What I discovered when we all shared what our unique geniuses were and what I was coming to learn from them was that these guys actually had way more self trust. They had way more belief in their expertise than I did. It wasn't that they actually were more skilled in these different areas than I was. They actually weren't. They were actually less skilled in certain areas, but their belief and self trust in themselves was higher in those areas than mine were as well too. The final thing that I am doing to become limitless in 2025 is actually this idea of radical self acceptance. And what's interesting is historically, and this is true, I work with women. So most of the clients that I work with have some facsimile of people pleasing going on. But what I've discovered recently is that it's not even the people pleasing that is the problem. It's the I let how other people's opinions influence my own self assessment of how I talk to myself, of how I criticize myself. I let other people's opinions affect how I talk to myself. And so the work I'm doing right now is I'm letting go of all of that BS as long as you or I have self acceptance and know that no matter what fail that I have, no matter what big action. Cause I'm taking some big bold ass action in 2025. I already started doing it in 2024 and 2023, but it's like we're going full steam ahead. Pedal to the metal, 10x, burn the boats, whatever you want to, whatever analogy or metaphor that you want to use. We're like, like I'm 10xing next level, right? As long as I know that I'm not gonna be critical to myself, that I'm gonna have my own back no matter what happens. Like, the more visible we become, the more feedback we're gonna get from that visibility. The more clients and patients that you decide to serve, the more potential headaches or feedback that you will get from them. The more team members that you have, the more opportunity there is for cognitive dissonance with those team members. Whatever it is that you're doing to step on the bigger stage, there is the potential for other people's opinions to want you to continue to stay playing small. Okay, we don't want to do that. And the secret is that I've discovered is no matter what other People are saying no matter what other feedback I get, doesn't matter as long as the self talk that I am telling myself is supportive and loving and accepting. They might reject me, they might reject you, but that doesn't matter if you don't reject you. And so as I go into 2025 and I actually didn't even get to this list that I have of what are my current limits and how am I going to turn those limits into becoming limitless. But there's so many different things that I know for you that are keeping you limited. It's worrying about your competitors, it's capping the amount of business that you are able to create because of the concern about what that's going to mean workload wise for you personally, right? So many of you are capping, you know, maybe growing your team, growing your locations, maybe going out and becoming a trainer or a coach or creating a certification program or what have you. And the reason why you're capping that is because what you believe that will mean as far as how much you have to hustle and how much negative nervous system emotion you will have to experience for it. What if that wasn't true, right? What if there is a regenerative thing that happens? What if as you grow, as you grow your team, as you grow the amount of clients and patients that you see, as you grow into becoming more of a leader, expert, authority, whether you're teaching or coaching or what have you, what if you actually had to work less because of that? What if you actually grew that muscle of self trust and so your experience of your business, your experience of running your med spa or aesthetic practice actually became easier. The other thing is, if you let go of managing other people's emotions, for so many of my clients, they are trying to manage their husband's emotions or partner's emotions, the emotions of their team members, the emotions of their clients, right? They want everybody to be happy. They want everybody to be happy at the expense of their own happiness. And what I want to offer to you is you got to let go of other people's opinions. You're not going to make everybody happy. It's actually impossible. It's none of your business how other people are going to think about certain decisions that you make. You can't make decisions from a place where you are worried about managing everybody else's emotions. And so as I look into 2025 and I am going for delusional, illogical results in 2025, I've already look at the results that I created this past year in 2024, and I'm so proud of myself for the incredible growth that we've had. And it's just the beginning. But as we look at going limitless in 2025, I want to ask you, what limits are you going to let go of that no longer serve you? What are you going to do to break your own ceiling and blow your own Damn mind in 2025? I'm rooting for you. That's what I have for you this week, my friend. I will see you next week. Hey, if you're enjoying this podcast and you're a boutique results driven med spa owner who's looking to drive more sales profitably each month without hustling yourself into the ground to do so, then you should consider applying to join a inside of the MedSpa Advantage. It's the only program designed to help you grow your revenue and profits while gaining back more time so that you don't feel scattered and drained while running and growing your business each month. To learn more about whether or not you're a fit for joining us, you can head over to heatherterveen.com apply to apply to get on a call with us to learn more. That's heatherturveen.com forward/apply to learn more.