Avoiding Life's Potholes with Karen Salmansohn

Summary

Episode Overview

Podcast: Mick Unplugged
Host: Mick Hunt
Guest: Karen Salmansohn
Episode Title: Avoiding Life's Potholes with Karen Salmansohn
Date: October 9, 2025

This vibrant episode of Mick Unplugged features best-selling author and self-help innovator Karen Salmansohn. Known for blending wit, design, and science into personal growth, Karen delves into how “avoiding life’s potholes”—the obstacles and ruts that trip us up—drives her mission. Together, she and Mick explore resilience, self-worth, gender and leadership, the motivation behind her books (including her latest, You're to Die For Life), and powerful, practical tools for personal transformation.

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Main Themes

• Transforming adversity ("potholes") into purpose and wisdom
• The importance of being your own best friend
• Gender and leadership: Challenging “you need a penis to succeed”
• How humor and design make self-help accessible
• Mortality as a motivator, not a morbid topic
• Practical, science-backed tools for emotional resilience and habit change
• The creative and publishing process

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Karen’s “Because”—Her Driving Purpose

• [02:49] Mick’s signature question: What is your "because"?
  • Karen: “Because I’ve been in potholes and I want to make sure other people don’t wind up in potholes. I want to make sure they walk around the potholes, avoid the streets with potholes, heal from potholes. Recognize a pothole to be a pothole, because sometimes potholes don’t look like potholes.”
    [02:49]

2. Origins in Humor and Psychology

• [03:45] Karen combined early fascinations with psychology and humor:
  “If you took Psychology Today and Mad Magazine, put them in a blender, press frappe, you’d get my books."
  – Karen [03:45]
• She started with the desire to help a loved one, sparking her quest to understand what makes people happy.

3. Reinventing Self-Help: Fun, Honest, and Stylish

• [05:30] Karen felt self-help could be embarrassing or preachy—so she created playful, visually engaging books.
• "A spoonful of eye candy helps the self-help medicine go down... Instead of hiding the book, you want to put it on your coffee table."
  – Karen [05:30]
• Her breakthrough, How to Be Happy, Dammit, introduced “naughty” words in titling self-help for realism and humor.

4. The Power of Self-Worth & Being Your Own Best Friend

• [08:01]–[10:38] Karen’s mantra: Be your own best friend.

  • She explains “masochistic equilibrium”—the tendency to recreate familiar patterns of love and pain from childhood.
  • "You have to get out of autopilot... take control of the wheel of your life.”
    – Karen [10:38]

• Mick’s Reflection: Sometimes you need to be your primary support because loved ones might not be available during your crises.

  • "Don't be a go-to person for people you can't go to." – Les Brown (quoted by Mick) [11:27]

• Boundaries signal self-worth and self-care: “It’s valuing yourself enough, more than people-pleasing your way to misery.”
  – Karen [11:49]

5. Challenging Gender Norms in Business

• [12:37]–[19:45] Discussing How to Succeed in Business Without a Penis and its global impact.
  • Karen shares that the title was initially a joke, but it resonated and turned into a bestseller, even in countries with traditional gender values.
  • "A woman doesn’t need a penis to succeed—just balls."
    – Karen [18:05]
  • Her follow-up, Ballsy, encourages everyone—especially women—to go above and beyond, even if that means being “150% person.”

6. How to Be “Ballsy” or Take Calculated Risks

• [20:15] Karen’s analogy: Focus on the goal (the pot of gold), not the dangers (alligators under the bridge).

  • Envisioning success and staying motivated kept her moving forward, especially when writing challenging material.
  • “If you keep your eye on the prize… you’re going to get across that bridge.”
    – Karen [20:15]

• Resilience and envisioning the positive impact of your work can propel you through creative blocks.

7. Emotional Resilience & Overcoming Adversity

• [23:22]–[26:44]
  • Karen uses metaphors: Completing small goals (running to the next tree) to handle big challenges.
  • Stop-and-Swap Tool: When anxious or fixated on negative thoughts, swap in a healthier mental substitute rather than just trying to stop the thought.
    E.g.: Swap "nobody likes me" for "the right people like me."
    [25:40]
  • “When we’re anxious, our brains need something to chew on… so, stop and swap.”
    – Karen [26:06]

8. The New Book: You're to Die For Life

• [27:06]–[38:34]
  • The title is about leveraging mortality awareness to create urgency, not morbidity.
  • Karen had a "near-life experience" (being adjacent to life by waiting for ‘someday’, being on autopilot, or distracted), rather than a near-death experience—triggered by the loss of her father.
  • Reading about regrets of the dying, she reversed-engineered her life to avoid having them.
  • Writing Her Own Eulogy: She guides readers through a fun template, emphasizing living by core values (identity-based habits).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We repeat what we don’t repair.”
  – Karen Salmonson [09:57]

• “Boundaries are actually a symbol of self-worth, self-love, self-care. So it’s valuing yourself enough more than people-pleasing your way to misery, quite frankly.”
  – Karen Salmonson [11:49]

• “A woman doesn’t need a penis to succeed—just balls.”
  – Karen Salmonson [18:05]

• “Stop staring at what could go wrong and stare at what you want, right.”
  – Karen Salmonson [20:15]

• “Writing for me is cathartic and it’s therapy… Writing the book then changes me.”
  – Karen Salmonson [21:34]

• "Mortality awareness is not morbid, it's motivating if you use it right."
  – Karen Salmonson [27:12]

• “Identity is destiny… Who you think you are determines what you do.”
  – Karen Salmonson [33:37]

• “Nobody’s going to read your Google calendar or your LinkedIn profile at your funeral.”
  – Karen Salmonson [36:43]

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Karen’s “Because” and “pothole” philosophy: [02:49]
• Combining psychology and humor as a life’s work: [03:43]
• Making self-help accessible (eye candy + honesty): [05:30]
• Power of being your own best friend: [08:01–10:38]
• Challenging gender in business, writing “How to Succeed in Business Without a Penis”: [12:37–19:45]
• How to be “ballsy” and take risks: [20:15]
• Emotional resilience, stop-and-swap mind hack: [23:22–26:44]
• On using mortality to drive life urgency, writing her eulogy, identity-based habits: [27:06–38:34]
• Daily “To-Die List” and actionable habit formation: [33:37]
• Rapid-fire “Top 5” with Karen: [39:56–42:57]

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Actionable Takeaways

1. Be Your Own Best Friend

• Develop self-love and boundaries. This forms the foundation for everything else.

2. Practice Stop-and-Swap

• Don’t just stop negative thoughts—redirect your mind with a positive, actionable replacement.

3. Visualize Success

• Keep your focus on your goals, not your fears or risks.

4. Live with Mortality Awareness

• Let the reality of life’s limits drive you to action, not anxiety.

5. Write Your To-Die List

• Align your daily actions with the kind of person you want to be remembered as.
• Ask: "Who do I need to become to get what I want in life?" (Core values are the answer.)

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Rapid-Fire Round Highlights [39:56]

Morning mantra:
“I am smarter than this problem. I’m stronger than this problem. I’m more resilient than this problem.” – Karen [40:04]

Book that changed her life:
The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying [40:17]

Favorite comfort food:
“Chocolate mint ice cream” [40:30]

Theme song to her life:
"Alanis Morissette, You Learn... live and learn.” [40:48]

Aspiring writer’s tip:
Picture specific people reading your work; read your manuscript in different settings and from different perspectives for fresh insight. [41:15]

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Where to Find Karen Salmansohn

• Instagram / Facebook / Substack / Website: @notsalmon (Not Salmon)
• Book site (free resources): yourtodieforlife.com [39:12]

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Final Message

“Remember, your because is your superpower. Go unleash it.”
— Mick Hunt [43:20]

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This episode is a powerful blend of vulnerability, humor, and tangible strategies, leaving listeners ready to rethink their autopilot habits, embrace their purpose, and live a more meaningful, value-driven life.

Transcript

[Announcer]

ABC Wednesdays, Shifting Gears is back. He has arisen. Tim Allen and Kat Dennings return in television's number one new comedy.

[Karen Salmonson]

What what?

[Announcer]

With a star studded premiere including Jenna Elfman, Nancy Travis and.

[Mick Huntoff]

Hey buddy.

[Announcer]

A big home improvement reunion.

[Mick Huntoff]

Welcome.

[Karen Salmonson]

Oh, boy, that guy's a tool.

[Announcer]

Shifting gears. New Wednesdays, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[Mick Huntoff]

Have you built a life to die? For this episode we're talking to author Karen Samuelson who's sold over 2 million books worldwide. She is the guru of gurus. We're gonna also talk about or ask.

The question, do you need a penis to succeed in business? If you're an author or a soon to be author or a wannabe author, at the end of this episode, Karen's gonna give you an amazing tip. Ladies and gentlemen, I friend, Ms. Karen Samuelson. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to another exciting episode of MC Unplugged. And today I have someone who's been on my bucket list for a long time. So I'm truly honored. She took a career leap from Madison Avenue to the mindfulness arena. With over 2 million books sold and.

Science backed tools that stick, she's redefined.

Self help for the modern soul. Join me in saying hello to the witty, the wise, the wonder focused, my friend, Ms. Karen.

[Karen Salmonson]

Hi. It's so great to be here. I've been so excited to talk to you. I love, I love watching you, listening to you, everything you're doing.

[Mick Huntoff]

Karen, I'm, I'm truly honored.

You've been someone that I follow for a while. You have some of the most amazing books that I've read. You're like that, that mentor that you probably don't know that you are for millions of people. So I genuinely wanted to say thank you for, for what you've done for the self help arena, for, for women having voices. Just truly thank you for the soul that you are caring.

[Karen Salmonson]

Thank you. Thank you. It means extra coming from you. Thank you so much.

[Mick Huntoff]

Oh, that's awesome. That's awesome. So, Karen, I like to start the show by asking my guests about what their. Because, right. Like Simon Sinek did start with why. And I, and I like, you need to start with why. But I think you're fueled by your because, that deeper purpose, that deeper drive. So if I were to say, Karen, what is your because. What is that?

[Karen Salmonson]

Because I've been in potholes and I want to make sure other people don't wind up in potholes. I want to make sure that they walk around the potholes, avoid the Streets with potholes heal from potholes. Recognize a pothole to be a pothole because sometimes potholes don't look like potholes. So that's my.

[Mick Huntoff]

Because I love that so much and I want to talk about those potholes. Right? So it's one thing to, to see the pothole, it's another thing to be in the pothole. But Karen, you've come out of them and now, now you know what they look like and how to avoid them. But, but when did this start for you? Like, let's talk through some of those journeys of, of the potholes that you had to, to get out of.

[Karen Salmonson]

Well, I'll go way back, but I'm on coffee, so I can go through it quickly.

[Mick Huntoff]

Let's go way back.

[Karen Salmonson]

But when I was a kid, I was always interested in psychology and humor. My mom used to pick up my dad from the train station and there was a little magazine shop across the street. And I'd go in and I get one Psychology Today magazine and one NAB magazine, which is a funny magazine. And I kind of think if you took my, if you looked at my books, if you took Psychology Today, a MAD magazine, put them in a blender, Chris pressed brappe, you'd get my books. So. And the reason why I was interested in both of those, first of all, I always love humor. That's just kind of how my brain works. But I had a family member that I knew who was very unhappy. And I was wanting to figure out how to make them happy. And that actually was the reason why I started to really want to understand psychology. What makes people happy and what makes people not happy.

[Mick Huntoff]

Yeah.

[Karen Salmonson]

And so I learned it as a kid for that reason. And then I just stayed intrigued by human behavior because I did have challenges, my own life. So I always kept going back to psychology. And I used to read so many self help books and was embarrassed to read them. I used to rip off the covers and read them, you know, and, and then I wanted to recommend them to friends. And I realized that that could come off the wrong way if I said, here, you need to read this. So I felt like there should be like self help for people that wouldn't be caught dead during self help or self help that you could give to a friend as a gift and they're not going to punch you because it looks kind of cool and fun to read, you know. And that was how I wound up writing my first best selling self help book. Although I don't even like the word self help. How to be Happy Damn it. Which had the word Damn it in the title, which my agent tried to talk me out of, but I just kept moving forward. I could see it. I could see the whole book from beginning to end. It has stylized graphics. I. I believe that. I love design too. And like a spoonful of eye candy helps the self help medicine go down. If the book is like, looks fun and interesting. Instead of hiding the book, you want to put it on your coffee table. You're proud to be seen reading it. So that's sort of how I formulated my first of a series of books like this, the how to Be Happy Damn it book, which became a huge.

[Mick Huntoff]

Bestseller and is one of my favorite books.

I got to hear you talk about.

The story of that book a little bit. So I'd love for you to go into that story because I. I remember.

You saying you were talking about how.

To be Happy Damn it. But then the Damn it just became.

The focus of everything.

[Karen Salmonson]

Well, I wanted to admit there's a lot of Damn it out there. I mean, this book was back in the 1990s that I came up with the idea. And in fact, it's a weird, you know, claim to fame, but I think I'm the first author to put a naughty word in a book title, especially Personal Development Author.

[Mick Huntoff]

You've done it a few times?

[Karen Salmonson]

Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. But back then that was part of the reason why my agent thought I was like crazy, like Damn it in a self help book. But people feel Damn it. They feel it. Like that's how you feel. There's a lot of damage. So how to Be Happy Damn it felt very how I felt a lot of times about, you know, like, you know, nowadays we call it positive, positive toxic positivity. Right. So I don't do that. I do like real talk about it. And, and that book came about. It was sort of a collection of things. Cause I read from all different areas. I read from psychology, which I've mentioned, but I also love to read Eastern philosophy, Western philosophy, you know, biology, even how the brain Works, Neuroscience, quantum physics. But what I'm capable of doing is reading the boring, dense stuff and then rewriting it in simple terms with humor within. In the past, stylized graphics. Although my newest book doesn't have graphics in it. It just has the humor merged with the psychology and philosophy.

[Mick Huntoff]

I love it. I love it. You know, Karen, you have one of my favorite mantras. And you actually by, by saying this, help me overcome something. And you say a lot of times that you need to be your own Best friend.

[Karen Salmonson]

Yes.

[Mick Huntoff]

I would love for you to break that mantra down. And why that philosophy means so much, not just to you, but why other folks should, should take that on.

[Karen Salmonson]

Well, I believe for many reasons that the world is like a mirror. That the more you love yourself, the more you'll create circumstances that mirror back a loving environment around you. Because you will do that. A lot of people think of it as more like quantum physics, you know, like law of attraction. But I also see it as psychology that what you believe you deserve, you create a life like that. And there's a term in psychology called masochistic equilibrium which is really interesting. And it's based on if you grew up in a home with about 30% love and 70% pain, then that becomes your masochistic equilibrium. What you think you deserve love wise. If you're not careful, it's not a definite thing, but it's the programming that's gone in. And then you will recreate circumstances that match the 30% love, 70% pain. And if you wind up with 90% love, 10% pain, if you're not aware, self aware person, and if you're not treating yourself like your own best friend, then you will do things to self sabotage to bring the love down, down, down, down, down to your masochistic equilibrium that you are programmed with of 30% pain, 30% love, 70% pain. So you have to get out of autopilot, get out of the default and learn how to love yourself. Learn how to be your own best friend so you can recreate, we repeat what we don't repair. And so you have to go in and do the repair and get out. A lot of it's about getting out of autopilot. A lot of us are in autopilot and you know, taking control of the wheel of your life, you know.

[Mick Huntoff]

No, I, I totally agree. And, and for me, why I also needed that of being my own best.

Friend is there are a lot of.

Times you count on people that don't show up, right? And, and they don't not show up on purpose, but someone could be going through a bad time or bad situation when you're also going through something and you need that person, but that person can't help you because they're also going through it. And so it made me understand that I have to love myself first. I have to, I have to be my support system first. And then that can then allow me to be that for other people. You know, my, my mentor, Les Brown has this saying of don't be a go to person for people you can't go to. Right.

[Karen Salmonson]

What's really hard. Yeah.

[Mick Huntoff]

And I take that saying with your saying, and it's like, Mick, love yourself first. And then more importantly, make sure the people that are receiving your energy could also give you energy back. And so I'd love your take on that too. With just the energies of people and, and the give and take that that requires.

[Karen Salmonson]

Yeah, well, boundaries are actually a symbol of self worth, self love, self care. So it's valuing yourself enough more than people pleasing your way to misery, quite frankly. So. But it all starts with self worth and self love.

[Mick Huntoff]

Yeah.

[Karen Salmonson]

And owning that for yourself.

[Mick Huntoff]

Yeah, yeah. Totally amazing. Totally amazing.

Let's talk about a couple of other books of yours.

[Karen Salmonson]

Okay.

[Mick Huntoff]

I know the. I'm trying. I. I don't want to mess up the title, but. Yes, you asked a question for businesses a long time ago.

[Karen Salmonson]

Well, you're bringing up that one with another naughty word. Okay.

[Mick Huntoff]

And. And essentially the question was, do you need to have a penis to lead or run or own a business? And I know that wasn't the exact title, but it's also one of my favorite books.

[Karen Salmonson]

Oh, thank you.

[Mick Huntoff]

So I love to talk through this book because it is for family members, for my wife, for a lot of my friends, it was a book that helped them say, wait a second, I can be in charge. I do have a voice. So you gave a voice to the voiceless. And I knew that you knew that when you were writing that book. But I'd love to talk about that.

[Karen Salmonson]

Oh, thank you, thank you. Yeah, that book was loved by a lot of big important business women from Madonna, Donna Karan, Geraldine Labourne, like a lot of big business women. But I'll tell you the story of that book. I started my career in advertising and I rose up pretty quickly. I got a clio my first year in the business, which is sort of like the mas of advertising or whatever. And then I became like a senior vp creative director in my late 20s. And then I quit my parents horror to become a novelist. My first book that I wrote was actually a novel that I sold to St. Martin's Press and then to Miramax to be a movie starring Marissa Tomei. So. So I was starting to be asked to give seminars to women's organizations to help women to pursue and snag their passions. Because that's why I left advertising. I wanted to write books. So I was giving one of my seminars to women which had a normal title. I don't even remember what the title was because normal can sometimes be not memorable, right? So, and I said, my agent called me, this is back in the 90s. And my agent called me and I said, I can't talk, I have to give. And I said it as a joke. I have to give my how to Succeed in Business Without a Penis seminar because there's a play. And maybe it was a book first, but how to Succeed in Business without really Trying is the name of. At least I know it's a musical play, I think. And so she laughed and she said, you must write a business book with women or women with that name.

[Mick Huntoff]

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[Mick Huntoff]

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[Karen Salmonson]

I thought she was joking, but she stayed on it with me. And then I did and became big bestseller. And I went across the world. It sold in different countries. I was shocked because the title was feisty, but it sold in countries you would not think would have a sense of humor about it. So much so that I went around the world giving seminars from that book. And I joke, but it's true that I learned how to say penis in about 11 different languages because they all translated the book. And then people have a sense of humor. I started, can I be a little feisty here? I don't know.

[Mick Huntoff]

Of course.

[Karen Salmonson]

Okay. I used to jokingly refer to them as my semen rs jokingly. And because I'm, you know, I just find humor in things, you know. And one of my underlying premises of the book is a woman doesn't need a penis to succeed. Just balls. And then I even wrote a follow up book called Ballsy. Because when I look at everything that's happened to me in my life, it's happened because I was ballsy. And I wrote that book. And that book also did very well. And it's so funny, I was looking at the COVID for that book before it went to print and they asked me to get advance praise for it. And I was just going to go back to the usual people, the usual suspects. And then I thought, the book is called Ballsy, I'm gonna be ballsy and see who I could get to write some blurbs for it that I don't even know. So I reached out to Seth Godin, who, I don't know if you know who he is. Yeah, Huge book writer, amazing, brilliant man. And he wrote me back and he met me for coffee at a Starbucks, gave me a blurb, became a friend, and then I reached out to Keith Farazi. Anyway, the book, the title of the book, made me want to be more ballsy, which then helped my career further because really, a Lot of the things that I've gotten in life was not because I was like a 100% person given 100% of it. It was because I was 150% person. I would go above and beyond. And that really is something that women have to do. And in fact, that book could work for men, too. But it was about a rallying cry for women. Yeah. That, you know, to go out there and ask for what you want.

[Mick Huntoff]

Yeah.

So.

So let's go deeper there for a second. For the viewer listener right now, that's like, yeah, I hear Karen. And I do need to so be risky to be ballsy, to step out, to take that leap of faith. What are some things that they can do in that business or even if it's in their life, what are. What are some things that they could do now to. To prepare themselves, to take those risks or to be ballsy, as you said?

[Karen Salmonson]

Well, what I feel like you have to do is stop staring at what could go wrong and stare at what want. Right. So I sort of liken it to. If I was walking across a. A bridge, like, we'll make it like Raiders of Lost Ark. I haven't said this analogy in a while, so now I have to refresh my. My memory of it. And there's all these, like, alligators beneath me, but there's, like, a pot of gold at the end of this bridge. If I stare at the alligators that could, like, you know, gobble me up. If I fell, then I'm most likely going to fall, but if I keep my eye on the prize of the pot of gold, I'm going to get across that bridge. So that is what I did when I wrote my first book, my novel. I would go to bookstores and I. My last name is Salmonson, and I would envision my book on the bookshelf. And Salmonson was going to be next to Salinger, J.D. salinger. And that got me really excited that I had a good neighbor for my. My novel. I was going to be next to Salinger, Salman soon. And I would do things like that. And I would also stay focused on, like, on books like when I wrote my Bounce Back book, which was hard for me to write because sometimes I write books after I fell into a pothole. And that book was about resiliency, about how to stay resilience, how to bounce back. And it. It helped me to kind of. Sometimes writing for me is cathartic and it's therapy. And writing the book then changes me. I've tried to analyze this From a victim story to a victor story. Because now I'm writing the book of how I got through it. And it, it means that I have to show up as somebody who got through it and I can't go back, sneak back to that curled up in a ball place, you know. And it was hard to write because I had to revisit some of what I had gone through. But I kept focusing on people need to read this book. This book is going to help people. And then I would envision on my book tour people coming up to me and hugging me and thanking me for writing this book. And it got me to keep writing the book and not letting any of like my fears or, or, or even creative block get in the way because I got myself re excited and re. Re excited. This book is going to help people. And on my book tour, it was so interesting. People did come up and hug me just like I had visualized. And it felt really good. I was like, I'm so glad I pushed through any creative blocks, any doubts, any of like, oh my God, I can't write this, you know, moments. Because that book did help people. And so envisioning keeping your eye on any of those, you know, golden treasures at the end that will help people that, you know, whatever it is that gets you to keep going, whatever your because is, I guess.

[Mick Huntoff]

Yeah. And actually one of the pillars of. I have something called the Mick Factor that Les Brown gave me. So it's the initials of my name, M I C K. And the K is keep going. Which is something that you and I both have in common. Because I know you talk a lot about emotional resilience and why that is so important.

Can you talk to the listeners and.

Viewers about emotional resilience and why that should be a go to strategy, a go to trait that you have? Because life is nothing but curveballs, right, Karen? Like if we knew it was going.

To come right down the plate, fastball.

Every time we could get up and swing, right? But life there is curveball.

[Karen Salmonson]

Definitely. Definitely. Well, okay, two things I think metaphors help people at. Back when I was younger, and I don't do this anymore, I used to run around Central park and it's a very long run. I used to see how many times I could get around it back when I was younger in my, you know, kick ass shape. And I used to tell myself, I just need to get to that next tree. I just need to get to that next sign that I see ahead. I have to get to that next bench. And I would make Small markers for myself. Because if I told myself I have to run around this park three times, I'd be like, oh, my God, that's too much. I can't do that. But just set little markers for yourself. And when I was doing that, I thought, oh, I kind of do that with business. To just have to write one chapter, I just have to do. So if you break it up in small, little biteable, chewable steps like that, then you're more likely to do it. The other thing is a tool that I use still today, which is what I call a stop and swap tool. And I mentioned this in my new book, my new book called Ear to Die for Life. This is one of my favorite tools. And it's so simple. It really is. If you want to stop a thought or stop a habit, you can't just stop it. You have to do a stop, stop and swap. And I'll give you an example, because examples work. We have dogs. One of them is a little bit naughty Pablo. He's a naughty dog. And he's always, like, chewing on a sneaker, chewing on a slipper. And if I only removed the slipper and put it back down, he would go back to the slipper. Because he's anxious. He's doing out of anxiety. And his brain needs. It's actually his brain. His brain needs something to chew on. So I have to do a stop and a swab. I have to give him something healthy to chew on instead. Like a bone. Yeah, we are like that. When we're anxious, our brains need something to chew on. And it will keep going back to the negative thought unless you put in something healthier to think about, because the brain needs something to chew on. So if you're thinking, nobody likes me, you have to swap in the right people, like me. Or if you're thinking, this will never happen for me, you have to swap in the thought. Everything has its process. I must trust the process or whatever it is. You have to do a stop and a swap, not just try to stop the thought.

[Mick Huntoff]

That's an amazing analogy. I like that. That was very clear. And, you know, you're helping me with the segue because next I was going to your new book.

[Karen Salmonson]

So.

[Mick Huntoff]

So let's talk about the new book and some of the principles that you release in there.

Because one of the things that I.

Love about all of your books, that is full of principles and standards and guides. So let's talk about the new one.

[Karen Salmonson]

Okay. My new one is called you're to Die for Life.

[Mick Huntoff]

Yep.

[Karen Salmonson]

And yes, it has the word die in the title and it does touch upon death. Because I think that mortality awareness is not morbid, it's motivating if you use it right. Because mortality awareness gives you urgency. You realize life is short, it's fleeting, and that urgency creates action. It inspires you to move forward. I wrote this book. I joke. I have two reasons why I wrote this book. The first one's funny. I'll tell you the funny one. First, I did not write this book because I had a near death experience. I wrote this book because I had a near life experience. And I made up that term, but there had to be a word for this because too many of us are having near life experiences. And what I mean by near life experience is you're on autopilot or you're on your phone, you're scrolling so much, you're not fully in your life, you're near your life, you're like adjacent or you're out to dinner with a friend and they're talking and instead of really fully focusing on them, you're worrying about something in the future or you're ruminating about something in the past and you're not fully present. So again, a near life experience, you're not fully in your life. And the third kind of near life experience is where you keep putting things off to someday or later. And again, you're not fully in your life. You're near your life. You're going later, later. You're not in this moment if you keep putting things off to someday. And I woke up to the the truth that I was having near life experiences when my dad died. So he was my wake up call. His death death is an excellent alarm clock. And I realized that I was putting a lot of things off to someday. I realized that I was working so hard, which was not exactly fully noticeable because I loved what I was doing, but noticeable enough that I kept saying, someday I will start a family someday. And then when he passed, I realized it was very, it was very hard to realize this, that my dad would never get to see me as a mom because I didn't have a family yet. My dad would never get to meet my child. And I his death was more of a wake up call to my own biological clock to, okay, I need to have more balance in my life. And I read through a lot because I go into research mode a lot. A lot of the top regrets of the dying and what I was dealing with. A lot of people deal with one of the top regrets of the dying is I wish I hadn't worked so hard. I wish that I had lived a life more true to myself. I wish I'd spent more time with the people that I love. I you know all there's a bunch of them. So I looked at each the top regrets of the dying and I reverse engineered them to make sure that I wouldn't have them. And I also created a whole system which I write about in the book that woke me up and and I had my I had a child thanks to the system. In fact, my dad died on August 27 four years later after like embracing mortality awareness and waking up my life and shaking up my life. Four years later on August 27, I gave birth to my now son. And so my dad's death day is my son's birthday and I I credit mortality awareness for putting the fire under my tush and reminding me I don't want to die with those regrets. It's time to snap into action and one of the tools I used was I wrote my own eulogy.

[Mick Huntoff]

Listen, if you want to win your day, it starts early in the morning and for me, AG1 is that edge. One scoop, water done and I'm locked in. I feel it instantly. Energy, focus and my body just runs better. AG1 takes the guesswork out in nutrition. Instead of taking a handful of pills, I get over 75 nutrients in one move. Gut support, vitamins, minerals, probiotics, all backed by real clinical research. And that is why I trust it. And I'll be real. The new flavors, tropical berry, citrus, man, they hit. And it's not just something I have to do, it's something I actually loofah forward to every single morning. Head over to drinkag1.com Mick to get a free welcome kit including a bottle of vitamin D and free AG1 travel packs when you first subscribe. That's drinkag1.com Mick if you've shopped online.

[Shopify Advertiser]

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[Karen Salmonson]

That's Shopify.

[Shopify Advertiser]

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[Karen Salmonson]

Wow. Wow.

[Mick Huntoff]

That is deep, Darren. That is deep.

[Karen Salmonson]

And I make it. I put it in the book. But I know a lot of people are like, write my own eulogy. What? Like they feel like it's so I make it fun to fill in the blanks template like Mad Libs where you just fill in the blanks to write your own eulogy. And I'm going to give you a little spoiler alert here. You can still read the book and do the template. A lot of the blanks have to do with core values. It's about who you are. Because I believe from my background in behavioral change that identity is destiny. You think you are determines what you do. Like Frank S. Notcher saying, doobie doobie doo. Great tune, but that's backwards thinking personal development. It should be, be, do, be, do be do. It's who you think you are. Your identity is the puppet master for your habits. And we're operating like that now, whether we know it or not. If you walk around thinking I am sloppy, you're going to do the habits a sloppy person. If you think I am organizer, I am healthy, I'm athletic. It's why, it's why people that go to the gym can sometimes still keep going to the gym because they think I am athletic or I am disciplined or thinking those thoughts. And it's why sometimes it's hard to start a new habit like that. It's also why the rich, that expression rich get richer. They already think of themselves as rich. So then you know. So you have to change your, your identity first and foremost. So. So one of the, the strategies in the book is to help people to create Identity based habits to become the person they write about in their eulogy to go from current year to aspirational eulogy year. And I help people do this on a daily basis because I think that we shouldn't just write to do lists, we should write what I call to die lists. And that's not a bucket list. Yeah, I'll tell you what a to die list is. I believe that to do lists have a fatal flaw. They're about productivity, everything. These days we worship productivity. It's too much already with the productivity. I could do everything on my to do list and at the end of my life feel like I wasted my life. Because a to do list is just about like, like productivity habits and it doesn't include things that make a life meaningful. You won't see things like on your to do list like speak up with, with more authenticity about how I feel or be present from my loved ones and put down my frickin phone or you're not going to see things that really make for a meaningful life. So what I have people do, right? Still write your to do list. That's fine. But the truth is nobody's going to read your Google calendar at your funeral.

[Mick Huntoff]

Right?

[Karen Salmonson]

Nobody's going to read your LinkedIn profile at your funeral. You know what you're going to say at your funeral when they eulogize you? They're going to tell stories about you. I remember I was sick and he showed up with soup. I remember when I was going through a troubling time, they were patient and they sat with me. And all of these stories have to do with core values. They were kind, they were patient, they were communicative, they were present. All core values. All of the stories that people will share about you and remember about you and love you for will it be will be about something that had to do with the fact that you embraced strong core values. Do I help you to live a life where you're embracing strong core values? I am loving. And so I always show up present for the people that I love. And I have people write every day the following question. I had a lot of tools in the book but this is my, my quick summary of it.

[Mick Huntoff]

Yeah.

[Karen Salmonson]

Who do I need to become to get everything I want in my life? And the answer are core values. Because you think about like where am I going wrong A little. And you can also reverse it like this. Who do I need to become to stop fighting with my partner so much? Who do I need to become to have my son share openly and honestly about what's troubling him. So we feel closer. Who do I need to become to write that novel? Who do I need? It could be business, things to do.

[Mick Huntoff]

Yeah.

[Karen Salmonson]

And then the answer is always core values. I need to be more disciplined. I need to be more patient. I need to be more compassionate. And then you have to think about that. And then you attach a habit. I. And so I do. And that's what goes on your morning to die list.

[Mick Huntoff]

That's amazing, Karen. So for all the viewers, all the listeners, that's something that we can start doing now. Right? Like, and I'm going to challenge everyone to do that now. And then what I want you to do and Karen, I want you to tell people where to find and follow you. I want you to message Karen and I together and give us a couple of things that are on your list. Is that fair, Karen?

[Karen Salmonson]

I love that. Absolutely. Absolutely.

[Mick Huntoff]

I want to see what everybody's doing. So, Karen, where can people do that? Where can people find and follow you?

[Karen Salmonson]

Oh, thanks. Well, my name is Karen Salmonson, and everybody mangles my last name.

[Mick Huntoff]

Not Salmon.

[Karen Salmonson]

Not Salmon. So I'm always going, not Salmon. Not Salmon. Not Salmon. So that's how you can find me. My Instagram, not Salmon. Facebook, not salmon. Substack, substack.com. not salmon. My website, not Salmon. Although my book is called you'd're to Die for Life. And I gave this book its own website where you can get lots of freebies on there, and that's called yourtodieforlife.com. so if you want to find out more about this specific book with more tools in it to help you to live more meaningful life, just go to your To Die for. Life. Com.

[Mick Huntoff]

We're going to do that. I'm going to make sure that all of those are in the show notes and descriptions. Karen, I got to get you out of here. On my top five quick five rapid fire. You ready?

[Karen Salmonson]

Okay.

[Mick Huntoff]

All right. What's your morning mantra? What's something that you can't start the day without doing?

[Karen Salmonson]

I am smarter than this problem. I'm stronger than this problem. I'm more resilient than this problem. Whatever it is. Yeah, I tell myself that.

[Mick Huntoff]

Love it. Love it. What's a book besides one of yours that's changed your life?

[Karen Salmonson]

The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.

[Mick Huntoff]

Ooh, I'm gonna go get that one. Gonna go get that one.

Your favorite guilty pleasure comfort food.

[Karen Salmonson]

Oh, gosh. I'm thinking of so many. I think chocolate mint ice cream.

[Mick Huntoff]

Okay, okay, okay.

Gotcha.

[Karen Salmonson]

I do I love that.

[Mick Huntoff]

If your life was a theme song, what would that song be?

[Karen Salmonson]

I was about to say Gloria Gaynor, I will Survive, but that's probably just because I put that up with. With an Instagram post recently, but. Oh, Alexa Morissette, you live, you learn. That one got Live and learn. Yeah, I love that one.

[Mick Huntoff]

Okay. And for the aspiring writer, what's one tip that you'd give them? To sell books or.

[Karen Salmonson]

To sell books. Yeah, to think about your. Because. But also about who your audience is. And here's a weird one. It sort of answers you, but it's a little bit slightly different that when I write, sometimes I envision one person reading it because I realize whenever I finish a manuscript and send it to my agent, after I press send, I would then go back and read it again and I'd see it differently because I was envisioning her reading it or. Or if I would send it to my friend Bonnie and press send, I would picture her reading it. I would notice things more. And so if you go back and you think about different people reading, you notice things in it and you want to fix it a little. I. I noticed that sometimes when I was writing my books that I would just think, okay, what will Bonnie think of this? Like. Like, how does this land with somebody? So, I mean, that was something that I would do on purpose because I was doing it by accident. And I also write books in different places, so. Because my brain thinks differently. Like, I don't just work at home. I work in cafes, or I change the room I'm in, or I go outside, I take a chapter, I put it in my phone, I sit on a bench and I read it from my phone. I always notice different things in it. So that's what I'm trying to do. Always notice different things in it by picturing it from how different people would read it and. And re rereading the manuscript before I send it out to. For, you know, to send it to a publisher so the book shows up at its best.

[Mick Huntoff]

Amazing. Karen, I know how busy you are. You're one of my favorite people in the world. Just so honored you took some time with us today out of your busy schedule. It means the world to me. So I just again, from my heart, tell you thank you for who you are.

[Karen Salmonson]

Oh, thank you. This means extra once again, coming from you. I love, adore, and respect you.

[Mick Huntoff]

Amazing. Amazing. And for all the viewers and listeners, remember your because is your superpower. Go unleash it.

You've been plugged into Mick Unplugged don't just listen. Take action, rate and subscribe. Follow me on Social and get the full [e-mail]. keep building, keep leading, and most importantly, keep dominating.