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Mick Unplugged
Heather Mitts Feeley: Embracing the Gold Medal Mindset for Success in Life and Leadership
00:34:12
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- [00:00]
Heather Mitts
The biggest thing is being able to share my story with others. And so I came up with what's called the gold medal mindset. And I do go to a lot of business leaders and I share what helped me on the field to succeed. What is that gold medal mindset? What is that athlete mindset that then can then translate into the business world? Because it's really not. It's not any different.
- [00:30]
Mick
Welcome to Mick Unplugged, the number one podcast for self improvement, leadership, and relentless growth. No fluff, no filters, just hard hitting truths, unstoppable strategies. And the mindset shifts that separate the best from the rest. Ready to break limits? Let's go.
- [00:57]
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another exciting episode of MC Unplugged. And today we are in for a banger. One of my favorite athletes of all times. We're talking about a three time Olympic gold medalist, a trailblazer in women's soccer, and a fierce voice for equity in sport. From dominating the pitch to shaping the next generation of leaders, she embodies resilience, fierce leadership, and unapologetic authenticity. Please join me in welcoming my friend, the dominating Heather Mitzvili. Heather, how you doing today?
- [01:30]
Heather Mitts
Dan? I love it. Thanks, Mek. I'm great. Thanks for having me on. I'm so excited to be here.
- [01:35]
Mick
I'm the excited one. You know, we were talking offline. Most people don't know. Well, everybody knows I'm a Tar Heel. Everyone knows I'm a UNC Tar Heel. Most people don't realize how dominating UNC is in women's soccer. And literally my first week on campus, I went to a UNC women's soccer match. And I have been hooked since 1996. Like, literally, one of my favorite sports of all time is women's soccer. And one of my favorite players of all time is Heather Mitzvili. Heather, this is an honor. Truly mean that.
- [02:12]
Heather Mitts
Oh, that's so sweet of you. You know, I think UNC is like, where it all began, right? Anson Dorrance, Coach Dornam, Cindy Parlo. So many greats that went there. It's a great place to fall in love with soccer, that's for sure.
- [02:30]
Mick
Absolutely. So let's talk about that, though, because you did not attend unc. You went to this little school in the state of Florida that likes blue and orange, that may or may not have just won the national championship in basketball. How did you arrive at the University of Florida?
- [02:49]
Heather Mitts
You know, there was a couple schools that I was looking at. Florida was probably the one that was a little Further away, Becky Burleigh was just starting the program, and she just showed me a lot of interest. And I decided to go down there on my recruiting trip and really had no intentions of going there, but.
- [03:17]
Mick
I.
- [03:17]
Heather Mitts
Was blown away kind of by the balance, the academics and the athletics of the school and their passion for what they wanted to create. I knew it was something new. So that was kind of exciting for me, too, to be a part of something that's building up from the. From the ground. So when I went my freshman year, we were only in our second season and never would have expected for it to turn out the way that it did.
- [03:48]
Mick
I love it. So, Heather, for you, when did soccer become a passion for you?
- [03:55]
Heather Mitts
Probably the first time I went out in the backyard with my brother. He was 18 months younger than me, and he was actually way better at soccer than I was from a young age, was actually traveling overseas and doing. It's called Corver soccer. So he was going over and doing these little demonstrations. He was really technical with the ball, great with the footwork. So we would go out in the backyard and just have these one v, one battles. And, you know, that would end up me, most of the time, just trying to get the ball away from him, but they would. We would, you know, always end up in a fight, one of us heading home into the house. And I said, I basically owe my brother for the fact that not only my love of the game, but also, you know, my toughness. I was. I was going to say the feistiness in the backyard. I was trying to get the ball away from him. Hence why I kind of probably gravitated towards a defensive position. I was always small, but I was. I was always tenacious. And so, you know, that's where it all began, was in the backyard.
- [05:05]
Mick
And that is literally why you were one of my favorite players. Right. Like, everybody that knows me knows, like, I like gritty. Like, you give me gritty and scrappy, and that's me all day long. And that was you. Like, before. Before saying someone was a dog was a great thing. Like, you were a dog, Heather. Like, you were the person that, like I say, set the tone defensively. Like, if there were a comparable. Heather was like the Draymond Green of women's soccer, Right? Like, without the technical, without the red.
- [05:36]
Heather Mitts
Cards, yellow cards, hard nosed offender. That was it. That was it.
- [05:39]
Mick
Yeah. Yeah. But you sacrificed a lot, too. I mean, you. You've overcome injuries even when people didn't think you were going to come back from them. Like, what was that drive, like, what was that like? I'm not giving up spirit that you had, and I'm not even going to say it's proving people wrong. It was just, I think you were just proven to yourself that I'm not done. Right. Like, what was that like for you?
- [06:05]
Heather Mitts
Yeah, I mean, I look back on my career, I had a million injuries. I was only 5, 4, like 120 pounds soaking wet. So I was tiny and I was playing defense against much bigger and stronger girls. And I was a dog, you know, I was throwing my body everywhere. So, you know, but I learned a lot about myself through those injuries. I think my ACL injury was probably the biggest one. You know, it. It happened at a not great time. It was right before my, what would have been my first ever Women's World cup where I was starting. I was so excited tore my acl. I ended up going online mistakenly and reading some of the comments when the announcement came out that I would not be playing. And some people were like, you know, she shouldn't have been starting anyway. She'll never make it back. You know, when she's competing against these much younger, much talented players. And there's this quote, it's telling me I can't then watch you work twice as hard to prove you wrong. And I just kind of. That was it. You know, I just kept grinding and grinding and grinding. And really, that gave me an opportunity during that break to focus more on the things that I wasn't as good at, to become more well rounded, even though it was a little bit further into my career. And they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. It's not true. I started to focus on the things that needed improvement in my game. And then kind of when I had an opportunity to play again, it was like, this is it. And I knew how much the sport meant to me, so I was just, I was trying to survive and get a spot. And I would not only end up getting a spot, but playing every single minute of 2008 Olympics, which ended up being one of my favorite memories. Just because when I stood up there on the podium, it was like, wow, you did. Yeah, you did it. You never gave up. And this is what it's all about.
- [08:06]
Mick
Yep. You know, Heather, I don't know personally, many three time gold medalists. Right. Because a lot of you don't exist. Like, it's hard to really gold medal three times, right?
- [08:20]
Heather Mitts
Yeah.
- [08:20]
Mick
In the same event. Right. Like, you know, there are different sports where you can medal every year, but for Soccer to medal three times. What was that experience like when you sit back and like look back at that achievement? Because again, there's not a lot of you that exist. Right. How's that make you feel?
- [08:39]
Heather Mitts
You know, it's still surreal. I actually had an event this past weekend where I was throwing out a first pitch at both of my little sons. First league, or what is it it's called? It's like minor league baseball or like totally messing this up. Can you cut note of this?
- [08:59]
Mick
I got you, I got you Little league, Little league.
- [09:02]
Heather Mitts
Why can I not remember little league? And I, I had my medals on and it was just like, I don't take them out very often. I don't even think about it that often because I'm a mom now. Like, that's, that's my main focus. That's what I'm, I'm, you know, completely set and focused on is just being a very present mom. And so it's not till it's events like that where I actually take my medals out that I'm like, this is pretty cool. You know, you get to share them with the kids and you get to show them. This one's, this one's from Athens, this one's from Beijing, this one's from London. They all get bigger and bigger as they go. And you know, you're reminded of that journey because it does seem like an entire lifetime ago. And sometimes it doesn't even seem like it existed because it was so long ago.
- [09:51]
Mick
That's amazing. That's amazing. So I have a lot of athlete friends and they all tell me the hardest part is knowing when to walk away. Because there's a lot of times when your mind is like, I've still got it, but your body is like, no. And then I have a couple that are like, my body was good, but my mind was like, I can't go through the grind of preparation because people don't understand what professional athletes at a high level like you, the mental grind a lot of times is 10 times tougher than the physical grind. Just knowing the preparation that you have to go through. So I want you to talk about that preparation aspect first and then I have a follow up question.
- [10:33]
Heather Mitts
Yeah, I mean, you're right. It's a lot on both. And I think the one thing that I am so grateful for is that I always had the mental side of it. That is what helped me to achieve my goals. Clearly, as you know, my, my body was probably like, please stop. And eventually I knew when it was time was in 2012 and 2011 was, like, a really hard year for me. Would have been my first World cup to start and play. I had an injury earlier in the year. I barely made the roster. And so after the. The World cup, they. They actually cut down the roster from 21 to 18. And so I knew that my chances of making that roster were pretty slim. And so I actually thought about retiring. I had told a couple people that I was going to retire because I just didn't. I didn't think I was going to make it. And I was, at the time, afraid of failure. And my husband also, we had this agreement, like, you plan one World cup, and then we're gonna start a family. And so I knew that's what he wanted. I was getting older, and he knew I wasn't ready, and so he said, all right, give it a go. And so from that moment on, I just. I did everything. I made that team. Luckily, we won gold. And so then when I stood up there in that podium one last time, I was just like, we did it. This is everything that I ever dreamed of. And now I can walk away on my own terms. I can start a family. I can do whatever's next. And I know how fortunate I am because I know a lot of athletes don't get to do that. But I'm so thankful for the opportunity to have been given by those coaches to even be on that roster, for my teammates, to help me win that gold. You know, it's a dream come true.
- [12:54]
Mick
I love it. I love it. So then you kind of answer my follow up, which was I was gonna ask you, how did you know officially it was time and, like, no looking back, like, line in the sand. I'm retired. I'm moving forward.
- [13:06]
Heather Mitts
A lot of it had to do with my age. Yeah, you know, it's. It's tough. I think even tougher being a female, because for me, I know had a lot of teammates that could do the juggle, but I. I knew I didn't want to, and I just knew how tough it would be. So, you know, I. I knew when the time was for me to come to an end. And I think, you know, it helped that my body just wasn't cooperating at the end. You know, I was just doing everything just to kind of manage to even get on the field half the time. So all the. All the stars were aligning, and I knew when it was time to walk away.
- [13:51]
Mick
Love it. So, again, things that I always say, you retire from the sport, you don't retire from being an athlete, right, like Heather is still an athlete through and through. The dog mentality is still there. You took that very well into business and leadership. And, you know, being a sports nut, I tell folks all the time the parallel between sports and leadership is so strong and dynamic. Because if you were a leader of your team, leader doesn't mean the most popular leader, doesn't mean the highest score that usually the fans see. In every locker room, in every field and every team and every huddle, there's a leader. And I know that you were that. How did you take those skill sets and then transform them out of sport into the business world?
- [14:42]
Heather Mitts
You know, I think the biggest thing is being able to share my story with others. And. And so I came up with what's called the gold medal mindset. And I do go to a lot of business leaders, and I share what helped me on the field to succeed. What is that gold medal mindset? What is that athlete mindset that then can then translate into the business world? Because it's really not. It's not any different.
- [15:11]
Mick
Right?
- [15:11]
Heather Mitts
You know, you're doing the same thing. And it does come down to mentality, but I think it comes down to giving yourself permission to imagine a positive outcome, you know, to. To dream and even figuring out what that dream is. A lot of times we think we dream as kids, but we have to continue to dream as adults and to set our goals high, make them scary and unattainable, what they seem like. Because then you're to be surprised. I did that when I was playing soccer and I achieved all my dreams, and then I had to set new ones. Because we all need to continue to dream throughout our lifetime and learning what you can control. Because in this crazy world that we all live in, in the business world, there's things that are completely out of our control all the time. So instead of focusing on those things, figure out, what. What can I control? And then you're surrounding yourself with. With positive people. They say we are the sum of the five people that we spend the most time with. That blows my mind, because at one point in my life, my five weren't great, but now they are amazing. And I feel like once I went to college, I found those athletes around me that were just driven and successful and positive and caring. And so I learned that that was helping me to become a better, not only athlete, but a better person. And that's something that we all need to continue to try to focus on, is who those five people are, because they have a big influence on our Lives every single day.
- [16:53]
Mick
Totally agree. And I believe in checking those five on a recurring basis too. Right. Like, I'm always leveling up. And so sometimes, you know, one or two of the current five, I need to move this five over and go attain a little bit more. But, Heather, like, I just. I learned something I want to unpack a little bit because as your biggest fan in the world, I didn't know that your 5 wasn't always good. So let's talk about that. Let's go back in time a little bit. So tell me about. Tell me about that, Heather.
- [17:23]
Heather Mitts
Yikes. Yeah. How do I say it? My dad always say I'm the reason that he had gray hair and, And. And very little of it later. I was a handful. And in high school, I really was. I was not hanging out with a great group of kids. You know, my parents divorced, and I think that was very hard. And I just was trying to kind of navigate that whole thing, and I wasn't handling it correctly, and I wasn't motivated. You know, I was cruising on my natural ability, but I wasn't surrounding myself with positive people. And it wasn't till one of my best friends in high school ended up dying in a car crash because he's under the influence that I realized that that could have been me, that I could have been in the car, you know, and so that really kind of was like my aha moment. I think losing someone that's really close to you at such a young age is. It's a wake up call perspective.
- [18:39]
Mick
Right?
- [18:40]
Heather Mitts
We can choose the right choices or the wrong choices, and it's up to us every single day. It's positive or negative. And luckily, you know, by going away to the University of Florida, I went away from those friends. And I look back on it and I realized that soccer saved me. You know, it gave me something to focus on that I was. I was really darn good at and that I really hadn't been, you know, putting in my all in it. And so it gave me an opportunity to kind of refocus. And here I am.
- [19:18]
Mick
And I'm glad you're here. Totally glad that you're here. So let's fast forward now to the gold medal mindset. What are a couple of pillars of the gold medal mindset?
- [19:29]
Heather Mitts
I kind of went through two of them. Giving yourself permission to imagine a positive outcome, to dream. Learning what you can control. Surrounding ourselves with those positive people that we talked about. I think finding a great coach or a mentor, taking a class to kind of get you ahead and be surrounded by those people that have been through it that, you know, want to help you succeed and maybe see something special in you that you might not even see in yourself. Figure out what makes you unique and hone that skill so you become known for it. I think a lot of times we're into comparing ourselves when instead we should be focusing on us and how we can be the best version of ourself. Demand more of yourself, because who else is going to do it? And don't ever stop until you're successful.
- [20:29]
Mick
That's it. I love that. I love that. That parallels into a couple of things that are my pillars, right? So I have seven, but two of my favorite, and I picked these up from sport, is a great leader knows their team better than their team knows themselves, right? Meaning you know how they think you know the right positions to put them in and you set them up for success by knowing them better than they know themselves. And then the second thing that I think all great leaders do, and I got this from Angelo Dundee, Muhammad Ali's trainer. They know when to move the stool. Meaning Ali was tired. It was round 12. He was struggling, his opponent was struggling. And Dundee made Ali stand up in between that round and said, face your opponent. And Ali was like, what are you doing? And he said, if he sees that you're willing to stand up and take this right, Then all of a sudden, his mind is not on the fight anymore. It's, how are you doing it? And then also by moving the stool, he made Ali do something he didn't think he could do.
- [21:31]
Heather Mitts
And.
- [21:31]
Mick
And I think that's a great leader. A great leader knows when to make Heather stand on her own a little bit. Knows when to make Heather face that adversity, to face that challenge head on. Because it's real easy to sit down. It's real easy to, hey, I need a timeout. Sometimes in life and sometimes in business, you don't get that time out. And so, again, things that I've learned from watching you, my scrappy went over there and I put that into my pillars, is like, knowing when to move the stool. Cause I feel like that's a lesson you learn as well, too.
- [22:01]
Heather Mitts
Yeah, I love those. Those are great.
- [22:04]
Mick
Yeah. Yeah. So let's talk a little bit about family for you now. So, you know, you've got an amazing family, aj. You know, I'm a Patriot fan, so, you know, there was a little bit of time AJ and I couldn't quite get along. He played for another team that, you know, we were we didn't like each other. But what's family life? What's mom and wife Heather like, you.
- [22:28]
Heather Mitts
Know, without getting like teary eyed. It's like the greatest, the greatest gift. You know, I think about it all the time, how lucky I am. You know, from from the minute I had my first son, I just feel like my life completely changed. I was opened up, you know, to this different perspective on just everything. When someone depends on you and you have this opportunity to lead, we're talking about leading, you know, I think there's, there's no greater gift and so you learn a lot about yourself. You know, I changed a lot, a lot through becoming a mom. Um, what I thought I was going to be like as a mom is not who I am as a mom. You know, I think I'm, I'm more tender now than I've, I've ever been. You know, I was always like that, that fight mentality, the hustle, all those things. And you know, it has definitely just softened me up and trying to figure out the different personalities. I have three kids, so I have an 11 year old boy, I have a nine year old daughter, and I have a six year old son. And just trying to figure out the best ways to connect with each one of them personally and with their personalities and just to be extremely present. But I also take lessons from both of my parents, you know, the things that I loved about them and I try to incorporate into who I am and then say the things that maybe I didn't think resonated as well and just try to make sure that I'm doing a better job of guiding my kids.
- [24:23]
Mick
I love it. I love it. Do you ever have that moment, I'm sure you do as a parent where it's like, why did you do that? And then you realize, oh, I probably did that too.
- [24:36]
Heather Mitts
I definitely did it. You know, that's the funny part is, you know, I see a lot of them in me and so they probably do get away with a little bit more because I'm like, you know, I turned out the way I did. Like it's all a part of the journey. So we're just kind of there to help them along, you know, and I want them to become their own person. I want them to be completely confident in who they are, to love them no matter what. So it's a lot of fun.
- [25:09]
Mick
Yeah, I love it. So my next question on Make Unplugged, I like to talk about your. Because that thing that's deeper than your why, right? Like I know your children are your why. But it's the but why. It's the because. Right? So brilliant athlete, amazing mother, amazing spouse, amazing speaker and leader. But what's your because?
- [25:41]
Heather Mitts
Because we get one chance, you know, we get one chance on, on this earth to, to make an impact. And there's, there's no other way to do it than just to, to do your best and to try to live the most positive life that you can in the time that we have on this planet. You know, my dad and I had an amazing relationship and he unfortunately passed of Alzheimer's almost three years ago. And so kind of watching his decline, he was the most amazing man. Super smart cardiovascular surgeon, worked his whole entire life for his family, but never really got to do the things at the end that he always wanted to do, you know, So I think I realized from him that our choices that we make every single day make a difference and you know, to take advantage of the time we have, you know, take the trip, take. Do the things that you've been saying you wanted to do, but you just never had the time to do it. Make time for it. So just making the most of every minute, every day.
- [27:07]
Mick
Amazing. Totally amazing. Another reason, Heather, that I'm a huge fan of yours, aside from playing the sport, you're a huge, huge, huge advocate for equity in not only sport, but also in business and in leadership. And I don't need to ask how or why that became a passion for you, because I know that answer. But talk to us about the fight that needs to continue to happen for equity.
- [27:35]
Heather Mitts
Yeah, I mean, we've just still got a long way to go. It's night and day, what I experienced when I was playing, and I love to see the growth, but it's just, it's still not where it needs to be. And you know what I love the most is that there's so many women that are so passionate about this. So many of my former teammates, so many just friends. So it's at the forefront and you know, it's a major topic and we're all invested and so I know it's only a matter of time, but we still have more work to be done.
- [28:15]
Mick
Amazing. And whatever, Heather, and I mean this for my soul, whatever I can do, don't ask you just tell me and literally consider it done.
- [28:25]
Heather Mitts
Okay?
- [28:26]
Mick
Absolutely. All right. You ready for your hot five, Heather?
- [28:29]
Heather Mitts
Oh gosh.
- [28:30]
Mick
Hot five. You ready?
- [28:32]
Heather Mitts
Uh huh.
- [28:33]
Mick
Question one. It's a cheat day. Cheat meal. What's your. What's your cheat meal?
- [28:39]
Heather Mitts
Handles ice cream.
- [28:41]
Mick
Handles ice cream.
- [28:42]
Heather Mitts
Yeah. It's the best, though. So when you come in town, I'll treat you to it.
- [28:46]
Mick
Flavor.
- [28:48]
Heather Mitts
I'm usually pretty boring, though. I do raspberry with chocolate sprinkles on a cone.
- [28:56]
Mick
Okay, I can dig that. I can dig that. Super easy, mom. Heather, it's time to cook a meal. What's your go to meal that you're cooking?
- [29:10]
Heather Mitts
Pine meatballs. Ooh, easy. Everybody likes it. That's the hardest thing when you're a mom is like getting one meal that everybody's gonna like. That's a crowd pleaser. So that's my go to.
- [29:24]
Mick
I'm there for meatballs.
- [29:25]
Heather Mitts
All right.
- [29:25]
Mick
That's one of my tops.
- [29:26]
Heather Mitts
Also handles ice cream. Next time you're in town.
- [29:29]
Mick
I mean, not together, but one, you.
- [29:32]
Heather Mitts
Know, which was first.
- [29:35]
Mick
Just messing with you. Toughest player you had to defend and why Cindy Parlo?
- [29:42]
Heather Mitts
I'm not just saying that because she went to unc. Literally the toughest player. I. I would say even more so than Abby Wambach. So obviously I had to go against Abby a lot throughout my playing career being at University of Florida together, I think I kind of learned the ways against Abby. But Cindy, ooh. There was no one, nobody else I would rather not defend than Cindy.
- [30:15]
Mick
She was physical.
- [30:16]
Heather Mitts
She was fearful.
- [30:17]
Mick
Quick. Yeah. Oh, I'm having flashbacks back to those UNC days. Oh, yeah, those UNC days. All right, so putting you on the spot with this question because everybody's listening. Your favorite teammate of all time and why.
- [30:32]
Heather Mitts
This is a hard one.
- [30:33]
Mick
Uh huh.
- [30:34]
Heather Mitts
I've had so many. I mean, I'd have to go back to college. Those girls are still my best friends to this day. So what we built at the University of Florida, what we achieved by winning the national championship, still one of my best friends. So I would say Sarah Yoi.
- [30:58]
Mick
Okay, Sarah. I like that. I like that. All right, last question for you, Heather. The book of Heather Mitzvili has been written. The. The last chapter, the last paragraph. How does Heather want to be remember.
- [31:20]
Heather Mitts
As someone who lived vivaciously, who was authentic, passionate, loving, and made an impact on this planet?
- [31:41]
Mick
Love it. Absolutely love it. All right, Heather, how can people follow and find you? And before we do that piece, shout out to Rose at players for good. How can people book you to speak? Because if you haven't heard Heather speak, one, you're. You're lost. But two, the energy, the passion, like, it. It is what you want. So how can people book you to speak first and foremost?
- [32:04]
Heather Mitts
Well, if you go to players for good. They have all of us listed, including you, Mick. So we're all. We're all there. And that's the best place on social media, which I'm, you know, not that busy these days. On it, since I'm so busy with my kids.
- [32:25]
Mick
I was gonna say you're at Little league all day, every day.
- [32:28]
Heather Mitts
My main places that I'm active are on Instagram, hmits2, and on Facebook, Heather Mitts fan page.
- [32:39]
Mick
There you go. Heather, I know how busy you are, but like I told you when we first started, this means the world to me. One of my. You know, Cindy is my favorite soccer player of all time, but my number two was heavy. Mitts, I promise you up there.
- [32:55]
Heather Mitts
All right. I love it.
- [32:57]
Mick
You were my number two. Even Mia went to unc, but she was there before I got there, so, you know, Mia's number three. But you are. You were number two. And I mean that sincerely.
- [33:06]
Heather Mitts
A true honor. Thank you so much.
- [33:08]
Mick
Absolutely.
- [33:09]
Heather Mitts
I really enjoyed our time today.
- [33:12]
Mick
I did, too. And anytime you want to be on, you just tell me. And again, I mean this from my soul. Whatever you need, whenever you need from me, consider it done.
- [33:22]
Heather Mitts
You're an advocate. Thank you for your time, for having me on, for everything that you do. You're an amazing man.
- [33:28]
Mick
You got it. And for all the viewers and listeners, remember your because is your superpower. Go unleash it.
- [33:38]
Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Mick Unplugged. If today hits you hard, then imagine what's next. Be sure to subscribe, rate, and share this with someone who needs it. And most of all, make a plan and take action, because the next level is already waiting for you. Have a question or insight to share, send us an email to hello. Ickunplugged.com until next time, ask yourself how you can step up.