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Rickey Smiley
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Rudy Rush
From Geico Subconscious News. I'm Tammy. Racing thoughts broadcasting from your brain. You think you live in a pretty safe place, but you just heard about a break in four miles away, which isn't close, but it isn't far either. You know Art Palpitations is on the scene.
Rickey Smiley
I sure am, Tammy. And I don't even know why I drove out here, because as you know, you got customized renters insurance through geico, so your stuff is covered.
Rudy Rush
Oh, well, that's great. Any sign of crime there, Art?
Rickey Smiley
Just some light littering, Tammy. But like they say, a little litter can lead to a lot.
Rudy Rush
Wise words. It feels good to worry less. It feels good to Geico. You're listening to Mick Unplugged. Hosted by the one and only Mick Hunt. This is where purpose meets power.
Rickey Smiley
And stories spark transformation. Mick takes you beyond the motivation and
Rudy Rush
into meaning, helping you discover your because and becoming unstoppable.
Rickey Smiley
I'm Rudy Rush, and trust me, you're in the right place. Let's get Unplugged.
Rudy Rush
Ladies and gentlemen, we are back with another exciting episode of Mick Unplugged. And today is gonna be one of the most perf personal episodes that I've had because I'm talking with a guy that you all know. But he changed my life and he didn't even know it. There was a moment in college where I wanted to give up, and Rickey Smiley changed my life. Ladies and gentlemen, I present the legend, the goat, Mr. Ricky Smiley.
Rickey Smiley
Man, thank you for having me, man. Appreciate that, bro.
Rudy Rush
Thank you, man.
Rickey Smiley
Excuse the left hand, but I really appreciate you having me.
Rudy Rush
No, I'm honored to be here, man. And I'm gonna go straight to this point.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah.
Rudy Rush
You know, Ricky, we go to college, we graduate, and everybody think life is good, right? Like, you did the thing, you went to college, you graduated, now the world is about to open up to you. But the reality is, man, that wasn't happening for me. I saw all my friends struggling to get jobs, and I'm 22. Like, man, if I go back home, it's gonna be over. Like, I can't go back home, right? Like, I can't go to College and then come back home and do what everybody else back home is doing.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah.
Rudy Rush
And there were nights, man, where, like I said in the intro, I just wanted to give up. And I would go back and watch Comic View. I would listen to the Prank Call tapes, and you just never know when you need that thing. And then I started studying Ricky Smiley, the man. Not the comedian, but the man and the father. And that changed my whole outlook on who I was supposed to be. I realized I always knew I was supposed to be something, but I never knew that I could see it. Yeah, you allowed me to see it by studying your path, your journey that we have a lot of similarities in. And then watching you just mature into Ricky Smiley, man, I'm proud of it for you. But I needed it for me. I needed to see that somebody looked like me can go through life and be that. So I thank you, brother.
Rickey Smiley
No, man, thank you for having me. And, you know, a lot of people talk about those Comic View days. A lot of people when I, you know, that I meet, say, hey, man, I was up watching Comic View when I supposed to. Been. Sleep. Supposed to. Been in the bed. I used to get in trouble for staying up late watching. Watching Comic View.
Rudy Rush
Yes.
Rickey Smiley
So, yeah, it's. It's definitely a bet. Comic View is definitely a. A historical institution for comedians. It was my first job, you know, my first job in entertainment, you know. You know, was. Was bet. Working for bet. So grateful for that opportunity.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
And I'm glad between that and the prank phone calls, you know, gave you some. Some hope and. And put some. I hope that it. Put some smiles on your face.
Rudy Rush
You needed it. When you. When you go through. I don't want to call it despair. I was just. I was trying to figure out who I was supposed to be, and it was internal conflict. And the laughter just helped me realize, like, hey, man, everything's all right. Like, you're able to laugh. You're. You're able to put two feet on the. Wherever you want to go. Like, people don't get to enjoy that.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah.
Rudy Rush
And then, like I said, I started to study you, and I was like, all right, it's okay. Like, there is a path to make just good things happen, and you can come from a Christian home. And like, I was raised, like you were raised, and you know how to do the right things, and when you get pulled certain directions, like, you know where your center is. And I was proud of you because you were a person that publicly were okay talking about your faith at a young age. You Were okay talking about your upbringing at a young age. And I didn't have that conflict anymore, and I needed that from you.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah, well, you know, that's my job, you know, is, you know, to. To, you know, to give people hope, to be a mentor, you know, to try to walk. Walk the best path that I can walk. Try to do things the right way and hope that some. That somebody see it and learn from it, you know, because, you know, like yourself and myself, we had mentors as well that we loved and respected and kind of gave us something to aim to, you know, to reach for.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
Or whatever. So, yeah. You know, shout out to my mentors and my grandparents and my parents and my teachers.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
Especially teachers in middle school and high school when your real development happened, you know, so, you know, shout out to them. You know, I'm from the South, Birmingham, you know, Alabama. Old fashioned home training where, you know, those teachers and instructors would tell you to sit up straight, don't you? With your mouth open, table manners, wash your face, brush your teeth.
Rudy Rush
Right.
Rickey Smiley
Sit up straight. May I? Like, it's a lot of little, you know, little things as far as Ricky Smiley's the man and the development of that, where that came from.
Rudy Rush
Yeah. Yeah. And I'm so proud of it, man, because you've been that mentor for me. As I got older, I had kids or I adopted my kids, but understanding what it's like to be a father again, you got to do a lot of things publicly. Right. And you do so much privately. And we'll talk about that later, too, that people don't realize. But, you know, growing up in that era or raising kids in the era where it's like you can't discipline your kids, you know, you can't do these things. And I'm watching Ricky Smiley like, nah, I'm raising my kids the way that they're supposed to be raised. Right. And I love that authenticity of you. And like, when did. I'm not gonna say when did. You know, but, like, what made you say you're committed to being Ricky Smiley and you're gonna do it your way with child raising and all that.
Rickey Smiley
The problem in today's society, everything that's right is now wrong. And everything that wrong that's wrong is now right.
Rudy Rush
Right.
Rickey Smiley
And I'm just trying to. I think that what my grandparents and my parents did for me, it worked for me. It was critical to my development. And if it worked for me, it should work for my kids, because it still works.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
Discipline and structure and teaching kids Children respect and teaching them, you know, to be humble and respectful and. And stuff. It still work.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
You know, everybody so sensitive nowadays and everything is all, oh, oh, don't hurt. That might hurt her feelings, right? Oh, it ain't.
Rudy Rush
No. Oh, no, get down.
Rickey Smiley
Don't do that again.
Rudy Rush
Right.
Rickey Smiley
That didn't kill them. That didn't kill my granddaughter. To tell her to get down and don't do it again. Do you understand? That's it.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
That's not. No, that's not abuse. Telling her to get down. I don't have to negotiate her getting down.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
Get down.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
I'm your grandpa or I'm your dad. Get down. And that's the end of it. You'll be fine. If it hurts your feelings, fine. Because the world is going to really hurt your feelings when you get out here and meet some of the people. So, you know, I just tell them what it is. Like, my grandparents told me it didn't kill me. And so it's not going to kill them. Right. I'm not compromising. I'm not. Get down. If you get down, I'll give you a cookie. If you get down, I'll give you a juice. I'm not giving you nothing.
Rudy Rush
It's not a negotiation.
Rickey Smiley
Get down.
Rudy Rush
Right. Right.
Rickey Smiley
Period.
Rudy Rush
Right.
Rickey Smiley
And that's it.
Rudy Rush
And isn't it crazy? Like, we knew as kids, like, I think parents forget kids know right and wrong.
Rickey Smiley
They do.
Rudy Rush
They know right and wrong. They're just testing your limits on what are you going to allow them to do. And you set that standard for your children again. That's why I appreciate you, because it allowed me, when my kids were, you know, preteen to teen, to say, I'm gonna talk to you like an adult, but I'm still your father. Right? Right. And I'm Ricky Smile. I'm not gonna repeat myself if I say it once it's been said.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah. I think sometime we get caught up in trying to give kids what we did not have as opposed to giving them what we had.
Rudy Rush
Right.
Rickey Smiley
That's the key to success for your child. If you like who you are, then give the kids what you had as opposed to what you didn't have. Now, the cleaned up version. And we watch Ayanna Van Zandt Fix my life and Dr. Phil with a little bit of psychology mixed in there and say, hey, okay, I can. You can tweak some things, but that basic foundation, you know, we went to church, and we're going to be sitting here for an hour and a half. Hour, 45 minutes. Sit down, be quiet, be still. No, they don't have children's church. You don't have to be entertained all the time. You have to learn to sit down and be quiet and be still like we had to do in church. And no, you're not getting an iPad. We're not taking an iPad in the church as a pacifier. We're not going to have an iPad all the time in the car. As a matter of fact, I don't have iPad in the car. Because half of these kids can't tell you how to get home. Nope. Because they so focused and so busy looking in the iPad, they can't point to anybody. Hey, turn, make a left, turn right there, stop at that stop sign, go straight, third house. Right. Like none. Any of that.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
So, you know, I'm, I, I try to give my children and grandchildren a lot of what I had.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
As opposed to what I didn't have.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
The same manners and home training and discipline and structure that I got and I receive, I try, I give to them and I hope that it make them respectful adults.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
You know, and productive adults.
Rudy Rush
Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to get to this amazing best selling book in one second.
Rickey Smiley
Thank you.
Rudy Rush
But I usually start my show by asking my guests what's your because? And because I've read this book four times, like I said, fill it in there. But I classify your because as that thing that's deeper than your why. Right. Like to me your why is superficial. People talk about all the time, I gotta find my why. Well, you know what your why is? It's the reason that makes them or that thing, your why that's really important. So if I were to say what's your why? And then I say, but why is it your why? Why is it important? That sentence starts with well, because I care about that, because that tells me who you are. So if I were to say Ricky 20, 26, man, what's your because? Why do you continue to do all the amazing things that you do for communities, for children, mentoring other people, like what's your because,
Rickey Smiley
you know, I do it because I love what I do. You know, I love to help people. I hope that I would change somebody's life. I hope that I was able to make somebody life better. I wake up just to do that. You know, it's a responsibility. It's something that you have to do. It's something, it's my life, it's what I, it's who I am, you know, giving and Helping and mentoring is who I am as a person.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
And you know, you know, our job is to bless people and to help people, help people, bless people, mentor people, you know, because life is not just about you.
Rudy Rush
That's right.
Rickey Smiley
You know, and, you know, people did not make everything about them. You know, our grandparents and parents and great uncles and teachers, they made personal sacrifices so we could have what we have, and you just have to pay it forward. And that's why. That's why you live.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
You know, wake up every day to serve God and God and to do God's work. You know, start out my morning show with praise break. You know, the first 14 minutes of the show, it just giving God the praise. And, you know, a lot of times God put you in certain positions so he could see what you're going to do with it, and he. So he could see if he could trust you. And I told God a long time ago, hey, if you get me out of this rut right here, I promise you, I'll serve you to the day I die and try to make somebody life better because of the things that you bless me with.
Rudy Rush
Yeah. Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
But we have to also understand that, you know, everybody that you bless is not going to appreciate it.
Rudy Rush
Amen.
Rickey Smiley
That comes with the territory. That's the dark side of it. So at this age or whatever, I'm starting to realize a good balance between good people and appreciative people and bad people and not so appreciative people and how to navigate through that and find people to help and mentor and love and bless that actually appreciate what you're trying to do for them. And it's really hard. Yeah, yeah.
Rudy Rush
You didn't know I needed to hear that. Yeah, I needed that. I needed that so much, man. Because you're right. Like, you never understand people's intention because you feel like I'm talking about me. You just want to do good. You just want to do good. And even when you kind of feel like they don't appreciate it, you still want to feel good. And now I'm starting to look at it because you just reminded me that I could have gave that good intention somewhere else.
Rickey Smiley
Absolutely, man. When I tell you I got a text message, an entitled text message, like it was real entitled, and I sent them an itemized copy of everything that I'd done to help them and send it to them and hit that block button because one thing I'm always do is protect my peace, you know, nobody on this earth have to do anything for you. Nobody. And if anybody think enough of you and kind of. I'm real loyal to people that have helped me, man, I wish I can have some of my teachers still be living today or whatever. In the last. And one of the last teachers I had, man, I made sure she was straight. I made sure she had everything she needed. You know, I gave her something every month and I sent her her cigarettes and her Courvoisier and that's what she drank.
Rudy Rush
That's what she did.
Rickey Smiley
Anytime she wanted to get on a plane and go anywhere, I sent her and made sure that she got to and from the airport. And that's what it's all about. Because, man, those teachers went in their pockets and pocketbooks because everybody couldn't afford to go to the Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Bailey Circus.
Rudy Rush
Right?
Rickey Smiley
We all couldn't afford to go to the zoo. Them teachers went in their pockets and paid for us to have some of the things that we had. And when you didn't have money in the lunchroom, you couldn't get a tray. And those, those teachers back then wouldn't let you sit there and not have anything to eat. They bought your lunch for you. Your mom and grandma paid them back eventually. But, you know, they made personal sacrifices with their own money.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
For us and stuff. So, you know, I hope, I hope I'm answering, you know, answering your question.
Rudy Rush
You were getting it.
Rickey Smiley
That's what it's all about.
Rudy Rush
Absolutely.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah. Yeah. Helping people and loving people. But, but. And also understanding that everybody's not going to appreciate it. Be prepared. If you work in university maintenance, Grainger
Rudy Rush
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Rickey Smiley
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Rickey Smiley
keep your facility stocked, safe and running smoothly.
Rudy Rush
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Rickey Smiley
For the disappointment. Yeah, and it's like, yeah, but you don't know how those people are going to act, you know, so. So, you know, God, put it on your heart to help somebody. Just do it, you know? And I don't look for anything in return. Yeah, you can help 20 people. 20. 20 people. I promise you, six or seven gonna come back and say thank you, and I really appreciate it. And some you'll never hear from again.
Rudy Rush
Right? Right.
Rickey Smiley
Or some of them, you will. That's only if they need something.
Rudy Rush
And I'm telling you, you taught me that, man. Like I. When I tell you I studied you, I have studied you. And speaking of studying, I'm gonna make a confession. I'm gonna look right in this camera right here. Because everybody that knows me knows this. I've only cried five times in my life. I'm talking about tears down my eyes. Cried when my grandfather passed, when my mama, my grandma passed and my granny passed. The other two times, I was reading this book right here. This book, Rick, it was therapy. It is therapy. I'm not even going to say was, because I shouldn't say. I read it like I read the Bible. But there's moments where I need to connect, and this book grounds me, man. So everybody, I want this to be zoomed in. Sideshow, Ricky, Smiley. So much so that I usually do this at the end, but I'm gonna do it now. The first 50 people that message me, Sideshow, I'm gonna get you a copy of this book. I'm buying it. I'm sending it to you.
Rickey Smiley
Thank you.
Rudy Rush
And I really mean that, Rick, because here's the thing. I knew you. Not personally, but I knew you.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah.
Rudy Rush
I didn't know you. And there's a lot of parallels in my life, in your life. But I understood. Cause publicly, you've talked about the journey, you've talked about the losses, But I think seeing it from your viewpoint in a different way, man, like the journey of when it started with your father, which I didn't know. April 11, right?
Rickey Smiley
Yeah.
Rudy Rush
April 11, 74. 1974. It kind of started. And I read this book, and the first time I cried, man, I cried for you. Because that's a lot. Like, when you read this book, you're gonna understand. And I promise you, it's not like a sad story. You just understand more about Ricky. Right. I cried because we've always heard, growing up in church, there's this saying, God never gives you more than you can bear.
Rickey Smiley
Right.
Rudy Rush
He's never. I said, well, did you mind? Of course. I don't know about Ricky, though, get you close? Yeah, I don't know about Ricky, because there are moments where I'm just sitting there and I had to stop reading and I was like, I can't hear another. I can't read another situation. Because again, there's things that I just didn't know, bro. So one, I thank you for the book, for writing the book. I thank you for the therapy. But dang, bro, like, I didn't know rick.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah. Darlene McCoy told me. Darlene, you know, gospel singer Darlene McCourt? She told me at my son's funeral. I think it was at the funeral. She said, man, she said, you built Ford tough. Yes, I'm talking about Ford tough. Like, you know, I had to. I had to be strong for my other children and my mother, you know, and my son's parents, you know, his mother and father, you know, and his sister, you know, had to be strong for them. I had to. Had to walk through that or whatever. And then I had to deal with my grief privately.
Rudy Rush
Right.
Rickey Smiley
You know, only thing I could think to do was praise. And it's all I know to do. I'm trained. And, you know, I never, I never would have gotten through all of that if it was not for my Christian foundation and my faith.
Rudy Rush
Right.
Rickey Smiley
You know, man, But God, you know, God walked me through that. And I often think about all of the mothers that have lost sons, and especially the ones that lost sons that have cancer, the ones that have to go to dialysis. The kids that lost their children and their. Homeless.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
And they don't have. No. I ran the mothers that buried their son that don't have money to pay for a casket in a tombstone. I'm talking about mothers that have lost their sons. That's three years old.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
Two years old. I was talking to a mother last week who two year old daughter died in her sleep. And my daughters was on the tennis court having tennis practice, and I was walking back and forth in the parking lot on speakerphone, trying to uplift another. A mother and let her know about. God will see you through all of this.
Rudy Rush
Wow.
Rickey Smiley
And you know, sometimes God let you go through stuff, man, where you could be there for others. That's a. That's, that's a thing.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
You know, and I. I thank God for just allowing me to start the healing process. Yeah. To start to feel like I could take a deep breath, to start to. To see the sun again or to feel the warmth of the sun.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
And I don't take those little, little things like that for granted. It's not even. That's a big deal.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
You know, so it's not, you know, about me. And. And if I can help somebody heal, be a. Be there for some. Where somebody can have someone to talk to, then that's what. That's my job. I just let God use me.
Rudy Rush
And so you were talking through where I was going to ask my first question about the book was, did you know it was going to be a healer for others? And it sounds like at some point you did. When did you say, I'm going to write a book?
Rickey Smiley
I was having a conversation with my business manager, and then she got my public on the phone. We had the same conversation, and they was like, we got to write this. We got to write this up. We got to put it in a book. And it started from there.
Rudy Rush
Okay.
Rickey Smiley
Because all of the stuff. The mirror between my dad's death and how he died, and I sat there and watched my grandparents go through that. And then I became my granddad sitting on the front row, burying my son. It's so many. The book is really, really deep, and I would encourage anybody to get it. If you're going through the grief process, it's definitely gonna open you up, and it's definitely gonna help you out.
Rudy Rush
So not only that, and this is something nobody in the world knows,
Rickey Smiley
and
Rudy Rush
I'm saying it to you, I'm gonna look you in your eye and tell you it helps you prepare for grief, too.
Rickey Smiley
Wow.
Rudy Rush
Ricky, my father died April 1, 2 Wednesdays ago now.
Rickey Smiley
Sorry for your loss. Just this past.
Rudy Rush
Just ten days or seven days ago now. We didn't have a great relationship. I hadn't seen my dad in 15 years, except once at my granny's funeral. And we hadn't talked, we hadn't done anything, and I didn't feel a certain way. And it's not because he wasn't in my life anymore or anything, but I was prepared, and this helped me prepare for that. And I didn't realize it, obviously. I knew you and I were going to have this conversation, and I wanted to tell you that. That not only is it for healing, it is also for preparation. Like, reading this book helped me understand fundamentally.
Rickey Smiley
I never heard that. That's. That's. That's the first time somebody ever said that to me. Thank you for that.
Rudy Rush
Yeah. Because again, when you're writing something, you're writing it with intent. Right. But you never know what someone needs.
Rickey Smiley
Right?
Rudy Rush
Right. And it helped me prepare. Obviously, I didn't know my dad was going to die. That he wasn't dying or anything like that. But it helped me with the right mental framework. And so now I want. I'm going to talk to men. Specifically here. You can't be too big, you can't be too proud. You can't have too much ego. One, to grieve, one, to seek help. To seek help for that, and two, to talk to other people. And again, that's what this book allowed me to understand was that put your ego aside. Being a man doesn't mean you gotta be tough 24 7. You still have responsibilities, but you also need to make sure that you're okay so you can handle those responsibilities. And I got that from Ricky Smiley.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah. And it's tough, man. When I tell you it's tough, man, it's is. I, man, you know, it's crazy because, you know when you go have to go back to the morgue and see your son laying there with no life in his body, man, it's something. This same kid, they used to suck his thumb and sleep in the bed with you, and now you just never thought that it would end up like this. And especially being a public figure, being somebody that have responsibility to get on that microphone because you got 8 million listeners who all. And a lot of them have lost their kids and they're dependent on you and the praise break in order to get through and they worried about you. You know, my son died on the Sunday. Wednesday I was back on the air because I don't want to lay in the bed thinking about that. Let me just go do my morning show to give me some therapy and help me a little bit, and then, you know, I can deal with that later. I had to make some tough decisions during that time. Yeah, yeah, it was, it was. It was tough. It was the worst and darkest days of my whole life.
Rudy Rush
Yeah, but you came through it and you're coming through it.
Rickey Smiley
Coming through it.
Rudy Rush
And I think, I know, for me personally, a lot of folks that I know, like, we just wanted to show you love by being there. Like, even if we couldn't physically be there.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah.
Rudy Rush
Thank you. But to, like, Ricky, man, like, we're with you, we love you. Keep doing the show, Keep smiling even when it's tough. And you talk about that in the book. And I want to go there next, too. But, you know, we need Ricky.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah.
Rudy Rush
Because we've all gone through something. And like I said, I don't know if you realize it enough, man, but, like, people follow you. People model themselves after you. Like, people need You. And so it's like, I need to make sure Ricky can be strong, because I'm gonna need to be strong one day, and I'm gonna need to look back at how Ricky's doing.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah. One thing about life, man, death is gonna happen, right? Yeah, death is gonna happen. Death is gonna knock at your door. And like you said, reading my book will get you prepared because we all got to leave here. That's what Reverend John King was preaching about Sunday, you know, we all gonna leave here. We're not gonna be here forever, you know, and. And then you need to prepare your family for your death and. And get things in order and in place and change your will up every month or two, you know, as much as you need to.
Rudy Rush
Why are you staring at me?
Rickey Smiley
Huh?
Rudy Rush
Why you staring at me?
Rickey Smiley
I'm just saying it. Saying in general. Yeah.
Rudy Rush
I need to.
Rickey Smiley
It's so important as a man not to leave your family in. Because they already going to be going through the grief process, so you don't want to leave them in chaos.
Rudy Rush
Right.
Rickey Smiley
And have everything organized. Like, I had my mom, you know, my stepdad, to get this stuff together, and she came over one day, she put an envelope in my hand.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
Okay. Anything happened to me, here you go.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
And of course, I open it up, right. Then start reading through and stuff, or whatever, looking at stuff, asking questions or whatever, you know, just to mess with it. But, yeah, death is a part of life, but you don't expect for your children to die.
Rudy Rush
You don't.
Rickey Smiley
You don't expect for your children to die. And, you know, I also talk about therapy in the book and the importance of going to therapy, because when I went to therapy, man, I started opening up, talking about it. This. This. It wasn't just that. This went all the way back to my childhood, you know, moments of grief and. And the things that happen after the grief.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
You know, process that I dealt with. And then all of a sudden, it happens to me, you know, because I always looked at my granddad and stared at my granddad like, I cannot believe that he went through that and he buried his son. And I was real close to my granddad.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
You know, and then I became him. And that's something.
Rudy Rush
The parallel, right?
Rickey Smiley
Yeah, the parallel is so crazy. It was exact. And. And what was really sad, to see my uncles who picked me up from the airport go through this all over again because they went through this with my dad.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
And now they lose their nephew.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
You know, and they picked me up from the airport. When I flew in Birmingham, all three of them was in the car crying. And the only thing I could think to do was. Was turning the radio up. It was on. On 987 kids, the R& B station, to lighten the mood. When I got home, it was an NFC or AFC playoffs. I know. I. All I remember the Bengals was playing.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
And when I got in the house, I just turned the game up, turn the volume up to. To. To have it. To. To lighten it a little bit, you know, get people distracted a little bit, get them watching the game, to get their mind off of that. Because it was terrifying. It was awful. It felt bad. It was dark, it was cloudy. It was raining. And just some football would just bring just a little bit of. Just lighten it a little bit. And I just had to manage stuff like that.
Rudy Rush
Yeah. Yeah. And you talked about therapy. And again, I'm gonna talk to men, because a lot of times we feel too proud. And I was. I didn't go to therapy the first time until I read the book through the first time. And I realized that I need help.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah.
Rudy Rush
And it's okay to admit that. And I travel a lot. And then I realized that, oh, there's teletherapists. Like, I don't have to be at home. Like, I can do this on a call or on a zoom or whatever now. And it helped me. Understand me a little bit. It helped me understand sometimes how I make the decisions that I make, the emotions that I have and what brings out the good, the bad, the indifferent. But again, I'm gonna keep giving Rickey Smiley his flowers while he's here. He helped me understand that. And so for everybody, not just the men, but I think for everybody having some type of regular therapy call session and whatever regular means to you, it doesn't mean weekly, daily, quarterly, whatever. It's good for your spirit.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah. You better sit down and talk about it. You have to get it out. You have to cry it out. I can't tell you how many days I sat on the steps that go down into my kitchen. I sat on that step and cried for days. And I was just in the house. I can look up at the ceilings and see the cries engraved in the paint, because I just remember crying and looking up and just crying out just in the house by myself. This is when those funeral directors say, when the flowers had withered, when the. When the card stopped coming and the phone calls stopped coming. And like a year later, it really hit me.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
The only difference between when my son died A year later, you don't have no casket, no flowers, no obituaries and no condolences. And you, you are stuck with by yourself. Just you in the house, by yourself. Just you having to relive it all over again. So, yeah, you better. You better go get some help because that's like running into a brick wall.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
Because what is my life now?
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
You know, like. Like in the. In the blink of a second, your life changed, you know, so it's. It's. It's horrible.
Rudy Rush
It is.
Rickey Smiley
But God, But God.
Rudy Rush
But God, but God. You know, in the book you talk about, you know, you're obviously a public figure comedian, radio show, a lot of things you do in the community. And your job is to. Part of your job. One of your jobs make people laugh, make people smile. But on the inside, you're dying. And a lot of times, I mean, and this is even before Brandon, right? Like a lot of times people didn't know the things that you were carrying on the inside. And you've got teams and you've gotta be the source for everybody. Yeah, talk about that, man. Because I don't think people understand that enough, especially of person like a Rickey Smiley.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah, you literally on stage, doing joke, doing comedy, performing while you crying on the inside. I remember I performed at the casino right outside of Cleveland. I had did a comedy show there after Brandon died. I think that was my first time going on stage, man. I cried from downtown Cleveland all the way to the casino. And I know that driver had to be uncomfortable. And I mean, I was booing. The driver was. I could tell he wanted to ask what was wrong, but he was in between that and said I might not want to bother him. And I sat in the car and cried. Went into the dressing room and cried some more and cried all the way up until they was introduced. Me to go on stage, blew my nose, made sure nothing was in my nose and got myself together and went on stage and killed them.
Rudy Rush
Yeah, killed them.
Rickey Smiley
While heartbroken on the inside. Same thing happened. I was at some comedy club and I just was outside crying back behind the comedy club, just crying it out, trying to get it out of my system so I can go on stage and perform. Because I still have to work. I still have bills that need to be paid. Other people are sitting in the audience. That's stage four cancer and sitting on dialysis, you know, coming out to see you perform.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
And you have a responsibility. Much is given, much is required. You have to make sacrifices, and you just can't Sit in the house. You got to continue to keep moving and keep working and stuff, because that's going to help you heal. It's not going to solve it, but it's going to help you. Going to the radio station Wednesday, Thursday, and that Friday really helped me out a lot. It really, really, really helped me out a lot. You know, I had a lot to do. I had a lot of responsibility. Had to make sure my other children were straight. Had to make sure my mother was straight. And I had to push through it.
Rudy Rush
Yeah, yeah. Good stuff. Good stuff. So something else in the book, but everybody knows this about Ricky Smiley. You are the son of Birmingham, bro.
Rickey Smiley
One of them now.
Rudy Rush
You are the son of Birmingham now.
Rickey Smiley
It's old, old Roy Wood, this Roy
Rudy Rush
Wood Jr. You were saying Roy was on the show, too.
Rickey Smiley
But you and Ruben Studdard. We are sons of Birmingham. Roy and I, we came from the Same radio station. 95. 7 Jam.
Rudy Rush
Yep.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah.
Rudy Rush
Yup. And you were still Roll Tide.
Rickey Smiley
Roll damn Tide.
Rudy Rush
We'll talk about that one another day.
Rickey Smiley
Oh, you like George? That's your team.
Rudy Rush
So I'm a Tar Heel and a Bulldog. Tar Heel. We hit no much. And, you know, we come from. We ain't hit no much in sports right now, but I am a Bulldog. I had an uncle who played there. Yeah, we trying to be. All right. Okay. Y' all gonna do something. Y' all gonna be back.
Rickey Smiley
I don't know. We. I don't know. That's a whole nother conversation. It's a different kind of generation. I don't know. They got to find the right kind of coach to coach this generation. This is not the Nick Saban generation. And these guys are. Are different from the guys that I saw play at Bama. Yeah, they're a little different, a little weird. So you got to find somebody that might understand the culture and to get them to play because these kids are different and entitled.
Rudy Rush
I'm trying to figure out why the backup to the backup is entitled, though. Like, the third string dude is the first one in the portal. And it's like, why.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah, yeah, they need to get all that tight. But football is. College football is just not the same.
Rudy Rush
Nah, it's not. Yeah, it's not. It's not. Well, Rick, man, what all do you have coming up next? What's Ricky working on?
Rickey Smiley
I think I got some opportunities on, I think hgtv. I'm still performing all over the country.
Rudy Rush
Right.
Rickey Smiley
I do this amazing karaoke night or whatever. My karaoke night is amazing.
Rudy Rush
Where are we Doing that at.
Rickey Smiley
I think I have the next show in Orlando this Friday, but I kind of do karaoke all over the country. I do it in Nashville, Birmingham, Orlando, Fort Lauderdale, here in Atlanta. I love doing karaoke. I just think it's so much different from a comedy show. It's so much fun. You know, I got my grandkids and my twins growing up or whatever, so I always looking forward to that. So nothing like parenting them. My identical twin daughters, they so much fun and give you so much light in my granddaughters.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
And my grandsons. So I get a real big kick out of that during the morning show every morning. Probably going to do another Comedy Special in 2027. I hope y' all like Foolish. Foolish. You can check that out on Hulu.
Rudy Rush
Yes.
Rickey Smiley
It's actually funny. I personally like that comedy special. That's my personal favorite comedy special, directed by David and Lance Albert and executive produced by them. I really appreciate that opportunity. So. Yeah, I have, I have Uncensored coming out on TV1.
Rudy Rush
Okay.
Rickey Smiley
A Ricky Smiley Uncensored coming out.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
It's actually pretty good.
Rudy Rush
Okay.
Rickey Smiley
I probably won't watch it because I don't like watching myself on television. But I did watch Spoonish now, and I wanted to sit back and laugh because the jokes.
Rudy Rush
Yes.
Rickey Smiley
I watched it for the joke where I can get my laugh on from beginning to end. It's funny.
Rudy Rush
It hits hard.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah.
Rudy Rush
Right. And that's what I love about Ricky, because you give us different. Like, and this isn't a knock on any comedians by any stretch of imagination. Cause comedy, standup, comedy is hard, period. Period.
Rickey Smiley
Right.
Rudy Rush
But there are moments where there's, like, little lulls in a special. Right. The joke didn't quite hit my comedian. Like, Ricky is playing drums. Give it the rhythm. Giving it to you every time.
Rickey Smiley
Let's go, baby.
Rudy Rush
Yes, sir.
Rickey Smiley
Yeah, but, but, you know, just so many different opportunities. I supposed to be doing some stuff with Country Wayne, waiting on him to call me. I, I, I, I really want to do some scenes on.
Rudy Rush
Okay.
Rickey Smiley
On Country Wayne's show because I'm a big fan of it.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
I'm like, I can just bartend. Just have me in the background. Bartend. I just need to do something.
Rudy Rush
Yeah.
Rickey Smiley
With Country Wayne because I, I think his skits are hilarious. I would love to do something with Desi Banks or whatever. You know, I just want to have fun, man. I just want to have a great time and make people laugh. And I start to secure my legacy and continue to do good radio.
Rudy Rush
Hey, the legacy is Secure, bro. Yeah, I know. I know you. Because when it's you, it's hard to see your legacy is solidified. I can promise you I know me in college. My same group of homeboys still talk about Lil Darrel to this day. Actually, one of the Antwan. I'm talking for you. He wants to know, when is Lil Darrel coming back? Like, we need a Lil Darrell special. We need something.
Rickey Smiley
We're gonna have a birthday party this fall for Ladero. Ladero is in his 40s now. He got a wife and wife and a son. He married to a heavyset white woman. And he got a little mixed baby. So we're gonna have a birthday party with him. Cause he and his. I think it'll be 43 or 44 or something, but I'm throwing Lil Darrell birthday party. So make sure y', all, y' all come out.
Rudy Rush
Look, Mick Unplug is bringing the cake. We gonna have the birthday cake. That's crazy.
Rickey Smiley
And I still do it on stage, but not in that. I do it in a different way. But it's funny as hell.
Rudy Rush
It is.
Rickey Smiley
But my snap. Listen, man, my stand up comedy right now is so rich. This is the funniest I ever been because I've been through so much. I have so much to talk about. And the funniest parts about getting older and talking about the young generation, how they scare the hell out of us. I got some funny stuff. So if you ever get a chance to see me perform live, man, I give you a show from the beginning to the end. When I went to Charlotte, when I went to Raleigh, to the Improv Charlotte, to the Comedy Zone. From beginning to the end. A whole lot of fun.
Rudy Rush
Absolutely. And you know, my youngest son is in school in Miami, and I was told you're going to be doing a show in Coral Springs sometime this summer. So I'm going to come through there. I'm going to come through where in school? He's at University of Miami.
Rickey Smiley
Okay.
Rudy Rush
He's marine biology.
Rickey Smiley
Oh, nice.
Rudy Rush
He. He can swim. You're on your own.
Rickey Smiley
Hang out with me because I, I, I deal with that ocean. Yeah, that's one of my favorite things to do, is to be out on the ocean. And I swim with sharks and stingrays and all that stuff, man. I love the ocean.
Rudy Rush
I watch y'. All. Yeah, I'm out there, I get my ankles in and then I'm like, all right, good. I'm gonna go back under the shade this umbrella, cuz I don't do the sun like that.
Rickey Smiley
I dive off into that deep blue ocean and swim. Man, I just thank God I ain't got ate up yet.
Rudy Rush
Yes.
Rickey Smiley
Knock on wood, there it is.
Rudy Rush
All right, I'm gonna get you out of here on this. Well, first again, we're gonna zoom in here. The first 50 people that message me, sideshow, I'm getting you a copy of the book. You all know I do that.
Rickey Smiley
Anyway, you know, I named the book Sideshow. Did you ever know why? All right, so the name Sideshow came from the song Sideshow.
Rudy Rush
Okay.
Rickey Smiley
By blue magic, let the sideshow begin. Hurry, hurry. Step right on in. Can't afford to pass it by, but guaranteed to make you cry. So, Sideshow, the song is about a clown that's performing, but he's sad on the inside. That's what Sideshow. That's why I got the topic Sideshow from. But all the trials and tribulations that's going on in my life and the things that I have happening that's going on and still have the ability to go on stage and perform and get on the radio and make people laugh. Like, why are you crying on it? I mean, I used to cry during commercial break doing a radio show, go and cry it out and come back and crack jokes or whatever. That's my job.
Rudy Rush
Right, Right.
Rickey Smiley
So that's where the topic. I mean, the title side show, I didn't know. Yep.
Rudy Rush
Now I like it. I like it. So first 50 people getting a copy. If you're number 51, go to Amazon, go to Barnes and Nobles, go to your local bookstore. Support local, too. But get the book. I can promise you it's going to change your life. It's changed my life. If you are grieving, you definitely need it because it's going to help you. It helped me prepare, which, again, bro, like, there's some fundamental principles in here that you go through that. That's amazing. So thank you, everybody. Go get this book. My last question for Ricky Smiley is this, though. I know you cook. You throw down.
Rickey Smiley
Oh, yeah. When I cook for Easter. Is that what you about to ask?
Rudy Rush
Yes.
Rickey Smiley
Are chicken and dumplings, Collard greens out of my garden that I grew. Okay. Macaroni and cheese. The Bahamas style. Macaroni and cheese. Ooh, yeah. If you ain't, you haven't had macaroni and cheese unless you had it in the Bahamas or Jamaica. Bahamians make good macaroni and cheese, and they don't just do cheese. They season their macaroni and cheese. It's flavorful. When you can swallow it and still taste it. That's good. Macaroni and cheese because it's seasoned. I did gumbo. Yeah. I always have to add gumbo or whatever, you know, because I'm a fan of, you know, Cajun cuisine. Lobster bisque. I did lamb chops. We had dressing, chicken, turkey wings, smoked turkey necks, and had it all laid out. My mom bought some potato salad because I don't let anybody bring nothing. I don't like people bringing. Right. Just. Just don't. Nope, don't bring nothing. Everything is here. That's me coming in there with all that aluminum foil. That's me pants and crock pots and.
Rudy Rush
Right.
Rickey Smiley
It make my nerves bad.
Rudy Rush
And you.
Rickey Smiley
You're messing up the order. I have a tight, tight little menu. That's what it is. I just. My mama said I. I did forget to make the pinto beans. I was gonna make some pinto beans. But we had a big, big, big Easter dinner. And the day before that, the Easter bunny came. Peter Cottiel came through, hung out with the kids. We did a little Easter egg hunt. Easter and Thanksgiving is a really big deal at my house. So, yeah, the food was good. And Do I want to open up a restaurant? Absolutely not. After what y' all did to Ms. Tina, what y' all did the Gladys night and having all these bloggers show up to. To judge your food and criticize your food, Y' all talked about Candy and Todd and anybody that open up a restaurant, y' all want to go in there and make video. I would never. Now if I do a restaurant, I'm a. The days that I decide to cook, I'll send out an email to people
Rudy Rush
that I want to come because you'll fill it up.
Rickey Smiley
Anyway, I'm going to invite people that I want to come, but I would never open up to get publicly humiliated the way they did. I don't care if the food. The gumbo or whatever was not good for you to go on. On the Internet and. And just do stuff like that to people. I've seen people do that with candy. I've seen people do it. The Sweetie pies.
Rudy Rush
Right.
Rickey Smiley
You know, and every time I went in all of these establishment, the food was good, amazing. Everybody. Gumbo is different or whatever. And by the way, gumbo is not just about the roux is the seasoning and the how. Anyway, that's a whole nother podcast show.
Rudy Rush
Yes.
Rickey Smiley
On gumbo. Because I'm trained by executive chef.
Rudy Rush
Okay.
Rickey Smiley
Shout out to my. To Kurt Boudreau, you know, who really spent a lot of Time in the kitchen. I spent a lot of time in the kitchen with him learning how to cook and prepare food. Like an executive chef. I'm not talking about a caterer. It's the difference between a caterer and an executive chef we are learning today. And I'm learning from him, like, cutting exercises and all of the stuff and whys and the do's and the don't. A lot of people don't know, so I learned a lot of stuff. So. But what I'm on right now is my seafood pot pie. I make a. I made it for the first time. It was a hit. Yeah, man. I'm gonna. I'm gonna make a seafood pop out. I'll make sure you get one. Yeah, I want you to make a video. And. And. And. And on the top, I did the. The. The crust with the. I used the cheddar biscuit from Red Lobster. You could buy it in the box and make the biscuit and you put it on top of the seafood pot pie.
Rudy Rush
You got some out there?
Rickey Smiley
I wish I did, because I. I'm so hungry right now.
Rudy Rush
I am, too. I can taste it.
Rickey Smiley
I could really use it right now. So I put a little, you know, the shrimp, but. But people don't understand the importance. Just making sure that you. That you get the seafood flavor or whatever. I'm really getting really, really, really good with seafood, so I'm learning a lot, trying to expand my taste palette and then really get in the kitchen to cook. But I will make a recipe book to teach you how to cook it. But I'll never open up a restaurant for you to come in there and cuss me out, cuss my employees out. I'd be seeing y' all push over cash registers and all that kind of stuff. Want to come in there, dress wrong, because you can't tell nobody how to dress. If you come in a Ricky Smiley restaurant, you're going to be dressed for dinner. And I'm a classy person, and I was raised with class, and I don't want to deal with the public because everybody don't have the same home training.
Rudy Rush
You got that right. You got that right.
Rickey Smiley
I know I said a whole lot.
Rudy Rush
No, no. So I don't know if this is meant for me to tell you, but I'm telling you anyway. Cooking with Ricky Smiley. I don't know if that's the book. I don't know if that's an Instagram show or channel. I don't know if it's a TV show, YouTube, whatever.
Rickey Smiley
If I Get. I'll do it. If I can get some cameras, I'mma do that one day. That's a good idea. People telling me for years I'm going to do a cooking with Ricky Smiley and then have guests on or whatever, but I have to have me a couple of sous chef because cutting up all those onions and those bell peppers get. I had a cooking show on Fox Soul, but, man, when you start prepping and you got to do, then you got to shoot, then you got to clean up the kitchen, man. That's a lot clean up part for me. $1,200 an episode.
Rudy Rush
You heard it here first. Cooking with Rickey Smiley.
Rickey Smiley
Yes.
Rudy Rush
If you want to be a sous chef, send your resume. Don't just think you're going to show up. I will vet the resume for you.
Rickey Smiley
Please.
Rudy Rush
I got you covered. Please. Ricky, brother, I love you, man. Thank you so much for everything you've meant for me. Ladies and gentlemen, he's Rickey Smiley. I would tell you where to find him. You know how to find him, but most importantly, get the book, sideshow. Get the book.
Rickey Smiley
Thank you, man.
Rudy Rush
You got it.
Rickey Smiley
That's another powerful conversation on Mick Unplugged. If this episode moved you, and I'm
Rudy Rush
sure it did, follow the show wherever you listen, share it with someone who needs that spark.
Rickey Smiley
And leave a review so more people can find there because I'm Rudy Rush. And until next time, stay driven, stay focused, and stay unplugged.
Mick Unplugged: How to Keep Going When Life Breaks You, with Rickey Smiley
Podcast: Mick Unplugged
Host: Mick Hunt
Guest: Rickey Smiley (with co-host/interviewer Rudy Rush)
Date: May 7, 2026
This powerfully personal episode centers on resilience, leadership through hardship, and the deep motivations—what host Mick Hunt calls your “because”—that keep us moving forward, even after devastating setbacks. Through a dynamic conversation between Rudy Rush and comedian/author Rickey Smiley, listeners hear raw reflections on grief, legacy, fatherhood, and the healing power of faith and service. Smiley shares intimate stories of loss and growth, and offers real tools for preparing, coping, and finding new purpose when life breaks you.
Rickey Smiley’s book, “Sideshow,” becomes the emotional centerpiece of the episode.
On Therapy and Men’s Mental Health
On being authentic as a father:
“I’m not compromising. Get down. If you get down, I’ll give you a cookie… I’m not giving you nothing.” (08:12, Rickey Smiley)
On legacy and gratitude:
“Our grandparents, parents, and great uncles and teachers, they made personal sacrifices so we could have what we have, and you just have to pay it forward.” (12:43, Rickey Smiley)
On being a public figure in pain:
“You have a responsibility...much is given, much is required. You have to make sacrifices, and you just can't sit in the house. You got to continue to keep moving and keep working... that's going to help you heal. It's not going to solve it, but it's going to help you.” (36:43, Rickey Smiley)
On grief and therapy:
“You have to get it out. You have to cry it out. I can’t tell you how many days I sat on the steps that go down into my kitchen… and cried for days.” (33:29, Rickey Smiley)
On preparing for death:
“It's so important as a man not to leave your family in...chaos... They already going to be going through the grief process, so you don't want to leave them in chaos.” (29:56, Rickey Smiley)
On the Sideshow meaning:
“Let the sideshow begin…it's about a clown that's performing, but he's sad on the inside. That's what Sideshow. That's why I got the topic Sideshow from.” (45:01, Rickey Smiley)
This episode is a powerful testament to living with meaning, loving deeply, and giving generously, even when life breaks you. Rudy’s and Rickey’s vulnerable dialogue offers listeners both solace and strategies for moving forward through their own pain, guided by a stronger sense of “because.”