Todd Rose (4:09)
Yeah, that's. I love this about what you do. And it. It's made me think deeper than why, you know, as. As you taught us the. You know, it's funny, I. I'd like to think that it's different than it's been, but, but actually my. Because that still animates me. It. It's blossomed and grown, but it really came back to this moment in Layton, Utah, in a hospital room when I held my son for the very first time. And, you know, I was 19. I probably don't recommend that as a. As a starting point. You know, you'd mentioned I have a ged. I didn't even have that yet. I had been kicked out of high school with a 0.9 GPA. I had had a string of minimum wage jobs. And here I am sitting there and they hand me my son. Austin is his name. And I just realized, you know, it was one thing to mess up your own life. It. It's very different when you realize the responsibility you had to this. This person that didn't ask to be born. Right. And, you know, the reason this became important to me is it kicked off. I didn't necessarily believe in myself then, but I knew I had to do right by my son. And so that became a really powerful because for me and you know, since then, and we can talk about that journey, really, that, that because led to a series of other becausees along the way. So, you know, here I am. I had had like 10 minimum wage jobs in two years. Everybody was frustrated with me. I knew something had to change. And I decided I'd get my GED and I would try my hand at college. Which is kind of funny since, you know, high school, literally 0.9 GPA. Like, I didn't even get socially promoted, right? Like, this was so bad. And you know, my dad told me, hey, look, he said, I think you're really smart, but you have to be motivated. He's like, when you're not motivated, you're GPU just not very good. Which is so true. Like, if I'm passionate, I'm on fire. And I. And I'm as good as anybody, but the second I'm not, it's really hard. And so I decided, okay, I'm going to go to college. And I. I went to Weber State University in Ogden, Utah. This is where Dame Lillard went. That's our only claim to fame. And you know, I was, I was just. I knew that what I had done before hadn't worked. Trying to, to learn the way everybody told me people were supposed to learn. And I really recognized there was something different about me and I needed to embrace that. And, you know, I was doing okay. And there was this really defining moment for me, which unlocked another because. And it was this. So I'm sitting in a really large auditorium for a history class, which I tried to avoid. That kind of setup didn't work so well for me. And I was complaining to my friend Steve about it, that, you know, this was not a good setup. And he says, he goes, well, this is nothing compared to the. What I got myself into in the honors program. And I was like, I don't even know what that is. And he said, oh, it's so bad. He said, there aren't big auditoriums. They're just like 10 people in a class. And I was like, well, that's interesting. And he said, there are no tests. You just write stuff that's interesting too. And then he goes, I don't even think there are right answers. All we do is argue all the time. And I was like, this sounds amazing. Like, I didn't never in a million years thought that it could be that way, that learning could be. And so I immediately bolted up to the honors program. It was on top of the hill, had its own little second floor. Of the library. And I went in and I said, I want to see the director of the program and the secretary who's one of the most important people in my life and gave me a new. Because her name was Marilyn Diamond. And she said, okay, let me get you in. And I sit down with the. With the. The director of the honors program. And I said, I want to be in the program. And he said, that's great. Just a few questions. He said, what was your high school GPA? And there's no kidding. I said, 0.9. And his response was, what?09? Like, I. Like I left off the most important part. And I said, oh. And he was really nice about it. He said, you know, I'm sorry you can't be in the honors program. You know, I was so mortified. I grabbed my stuff and I just as fast I could get out of there and go crawl in a hole. And as I'm walking out of his office, Marilyn diamond, her desk was right next to the door, and I'm walking past, and she reached out and grabbed my arm, and she said, listen, I overheard the conversation. If you want this, don't take no for an answer. And I was like, wait, you can do that. And she said, sit on that couch and don't leave until he let you in. So I did, and for a few hours, and finally he called me back in, and he said, you know, look, why do you want to be an honors program? Like, on paper, it makes no sense. And I started explaining that I'd learned a lot about myself in the first year or so. I was there, and I knew what it took for me to. To do well. And this all seemed to be a perfect environment. And he said, okay, I'm gonna let you in on a provisional basis. And he said, you take one class, and if you do well, you can take another and another Flash forward. I ended up graduating as the honor student of the year three years later with a 3.97 GPA. And I had just gotten into Harvard for my doctorate. And I shared this because it. It taught me something really important that became not just personal. It's still personal because. But is driving everything I've done since, which was. I was still the same kid. So the kid that had done so poorly, it taught me two things. One, the incredible value of fit. Right? So we tend to think I try something once, I don't do well, I'm not good enough at it. That's not what I'm like. Your strategy could be wrong. It could be the Wrong environment. But getting that fit between you and your environment is so important. And things get a lot easier when you get that fit. The second thing was, you know, I, I had sort of thought about talent and potential as almost like this thing I do. There's something inside me, and if I work hard enough, it'll come out and it'll be fine. What it taught me. And I have a dozen other stories just like it was. Yeah, you gotta work really hard, but there's a role for other people in your success that is so important. And again, it doesn't negate that. I worked hard. I did. But Marilyn diamond, you know, she changed my life. And here's what's really funny. Just a couple of years ago, Weber State invited me back and gave me an honor, right? Like, hey, look, you did good. And I'm sitting there in this auditorium, I'm speaking to all these people, and I found out that Marilyn diamond was retiring. And she was there in the audience. I thought, well, what a great chance to, to really acknowledge the role she's played. So I told the crowd some version of the story I just told you. And the, the president of the university says, marilyn, why don't you come up and say a few words? She comes up, she's short, she adjusts the mic, and she says, you know, Todd, it's good to see you. I have to admit, I, I don't remember this. And I thought, I thought she was saying I was lying or something and I was like, oh, it happened. She goes, no, no, I believe it happened. I just don't remember it. Well, it turns out everybody had a Marilyn diamond story because that's the kind of person she was. And it really dawned on me that when it comes to our role in other people's lives, we tend to think that it's going to be some Herculean effort, right? Like, like when in reality, this thing that was life changing for me was so inconsequential, she didn't even remember it. And you know, so when we think about what, what it means to, to develop our fullest potential, make our best contributions to society, succeed, you know, there does involve other people and we can be that for other people as well.