Nir Eyal (12:26)
Yeah. So let's first start with what is distraction? We have to kind of define our terms. Okay, so what is distraction? Well, the best way to understand what distraction is is to understand what distraction is not. What's the opposite of distraction? The opposite of distraction is not focus. People think it's focus. It's not focus. The opposite of distraction is traction. It's right there in the word traction and distraction. Both words come from the same Latin root, trajare, which means to pull. And they both end in the same six letters. A, C, T, I, O, N. That spells action. So the first thing we need to realize is that. Is that distraction is not something that happens to me, okay? It's right there in the word. It ends with action. Distraction is an action that I take, okay, that pulls me away from my goals, away from my values, away from becoming the kind of person I want to become. Those are acts of distraction, acts of traction. The opposite of distraction is any action that pulls me towards what I said I was going to do, towards my values, towards becoming the kind of person I want to become. So the most important thing here is to realize that what separates traction from distraction is one word, and that one word is intent. As Dorothy Parker said, the time you plan to waste is not wasted time. So one of the biggest mistakes people make is that they beat themselves up because I scrolled Facebook or TikTok or I watched a YouTube video and I shouldn't. That's actually not the problem. It's not the medium. It's not what you're doing that's the problem. It's not. It's why you're doing it. If you want to watch something on Netflix or scroll on Instagram or whatever you want to do, do it. Why? Why is playing a video game somehow morally inferior to watching golf on tv? Whatever you want to do with your time, You're a grown up. You can do whatever you want. There's nothing wrong with any of that. So we need to stop vilifying the technology. We need to stop thinking that this is the reason for the problem. It's not our phones that are causing the problem. The problem is much deeper than all that. We're going to get to that in a second. So that's the first step, realizing that anything you plan to do ahead of time is traction. Anything that is not that is distraction. So one of the worst forms of distraction is when people justify to themselves. So they say, well, I'm doing something I have to do anyway, right? I'm checking my email because, you know, I'm at work and I need to check email. At some point I'm cleaning up my desk because, oh, you know, that's something I got to do anyway. I got to take out the trash, I got to clean the dishes or. But what? Turns out, if that's not what you said you were going to do ahead of time, it's just as much of a distraction. So what I used to do, I used to get into work and I'd say, okay, I had that big important project I need to work on, right? I need to work on this big important thing. But let me just check email for a minute. Let me just scroll that Slack channel. Let me just catch up on industry news, because I'm supposed to do that at some point. So what's the big deal if I do it now versus later? And what I didn't realize is that that is the most dangerous form of distraction because you don't even realize you're off track. You're justifying it to yourself because you're like, oh, I'm checking email. That's a work related task. But if it's not what you said you were going to do, it's the most dangerous form of distraction because you don't even realize you're off track because you've justified it to yourself. So you have traction, you have distraction. Now let's talk about what prompts us to take these actions. We have triggers. We have two kinds of triggers. The first trigger is what most people think of. It's called an external trigger. It's the pings, the dings, the rings, all these things in our outside environment. Okay? That's what we tend to blame. Turns out that studies find that external triggers, the pings, the dings, the rings, only account for 10% of your distractions. 10% of the time that you check your phone, it's because of an external trigger. So what's the other 90%. 90% of the time that we get distracted. It's not because of what's happening outside of us, but rather, it's because of what's happening inside of us. Exactly. It's those internal triggers. What are internal triggers? Internal triggers are uncomfortable emotional states that we seek to escape. Boredom, loneliness, fatigue, uncertainty, anxiety. Once you realize this, that distraction is not a moral failing. It's not a character. Flawless. There's nothing broken about you in any way, shape, or form. It's simply you haven't acquired the skill to deal with discomfort. That's all it is. You just haven't acquired the skill to deal with discomfort. You feel an urge, you feel discomfort, and you think that pain means suffering, that you have to escape that pain. No, it's not true. It's a lie that these internal triggers are the reason we get distracted. We're lonely, so we check Facebook or maybe Tinder. We're uncertain. We Google, we're bored. We check sports scores, stock prices, the news, whatever. We worry about people's problems 10,000 miles away so we don't have to think about our own lives. Once you appreciate that fact, once you understand that the vast majority of our distractions begin from within, you can stop blaming your technology and start finding practical solutions to deal with that emotional discomfort so that you can master the internal triggers so they don't become your master. So, to answer your question, a little bit long winded. Sorry. The first step, master the internal triggers. You have to find out, what am I going to do when I feel bored, lonesome, indecisive, fatigued? Am I going to escape it by smoking it away, by drinking it away, by clicking it away, by scrolling it away? Or am I going to figure out a way to use that same discomfort to propel me towards traction rather than trying to escape it with distraction? That's step number one. Step number two is making time for traction. So whatever it is that you find important in your life, you need to define that as part of your values. What are values? Values are attributes of the person you want to become. Okay? So if you want to know what someone's values are, don't ask them. They're going to lie. Why? Because they're lying to themselves. We tell ourselves, oh, health. Health is very valuable. Nothing more important than your health, Right? But have you scheduled time to exercise? No. Oh, my family. My family is number one. Oh, I'm a family man. Nothing I. Family's number one. Have you scheduled time to take your wife on a date or to spend Time with your kids or call your siblings or your parents or be active in your community. Is it on your schedule? No. Well, then it's not one of your values. How about, how about, you know, education? That's very important. You gotta, gotta stay with the mind, right? You gotta, gotta invest in your, in your mind and read and, you know, do things like that to get. Become more educated. Well, is it on your calendar? Is it on your schedule? No. Well, then it's not one of your values, because your values are determined by how you spend two things, your money and your time. Those are your values. So just like you have a checkbook or a credit card statement that accounts for how you spend all your money. Your calendar is how you spend your time. So if it's not on your calendar, it's not one of your values. So you have to turn your values into time. And so you can't say you got distracted unless you can tell me what did you get distracted from. You can't say you got distracted unless you know what you got distracted from. So if your calendar is open, you got lots of bunch of white space in your day. Maybe you got a dentist appointment or something. And that's it. You have no right to say you got distracted because what did you get distracted from? There's nothing on your calendar. So you have to turn your values into time by putting time boxes in your calendar for what you want to do. The third step is to hack back those external triggers. So this is where we talked about the 10% of the pings, dings and rings. It's kind of kindergarten stuff. You know, you clean up your cell phone that maybe takes 10 minutes, it's not a big deal. What takes longer is, what about those meetings that are nothing more than a distraction? What about those stupid emails that didn't need to be sent and received? Right? Those are the external triggers that we need to hack back each and every one of those external triggers that can be nothing more than a distraction. And then finally, the fourth step is to prevent distraction with pacts, which is where we decide in advance what we will do when we are tempted towards distraction. We create a firewall, if you will, against distraction. Once we do, these four steps, Master internal triggers, make time for traction, Hack back external triggers, prevent distraction with packs, anyone can become indistractable.