Rocky Garza (11:28)
Yeah. You know, today 41 year old Rocky is. Yeah, it's the seven year old Rocky that was like looking for a place to belong. You know, I love, let me be very clear when I start. Love my mom, love my dad, love my grandparents, love my family, aunts, uncles, cousins, everybody who was a part of the process. And it's a very powerful word. And like you can live a life where you have all of your material needs and recognize that there are many things in life that are missing. My parents got divorced when I was young, right before I turned 2. Never lived with my dad growing up. Love my dad, have the best relationship my dad today I've ever had, and I can spend my whole life without him. My mom's been married and divorced quite a few times, four or five times. So I went to 13 schools before I graduated high school, most of those pre seventh grade because I moved in with my grandparents in seventh grade and I actually went to the same junior high and the same high school. So all those schools are happening pre seventh grade. You know, I didn't realize the term first day of school didn't mean first day at a school until seventh grade. I didn't realize it was a time of year. I thought it was a phrase that we use because this is our first day at this school. Which I was always confused why that seemed to happen for everybody else only once. And it seemed to happen for me two or three times. Right. And so I say all that again. This is not sad, not a sob story, not a woe. Is me, like, I'm 41, been to a lot of therapy, have a lot of coaches. Like, I'm feeling, I'm feeling okay today. And a N D, we're going to come back to that again. And you know, where I sit today is both a result of every day stacked up over the last 41 years. And you know, I think we all have a decision daily, with work, with practice, not in isolation. We have a decision to say, will I make my past pain a mechanism to protect myself from people? Or I use my past pain as a mechanism to propel myself in the direction of my purpose. And I think it's a question we have to ask her. It's a question I have to ask myself daily today. Daily. Been married 16 years, got a nine year old, got a six year old, good friends, a great community, spent a lot of time, effort, energy, building friendships. And I have to ask myself daily, the guy that gets on Instagram every day and says, you got this, let's go, let's do it. I have to ask myself daily, rocky, why did you not express to your feelings to your wife? Is it because you are trying to protect yourself, because you're afraid if you're honest, she will leave like everyone else? Or are you going to express how you feel because you want to propel yourself in the direction of your purpose, which is to build a committed relationship with someone unlike anything you have ever physically witnessed in your own life? But that's a decision I have to make. That's a question I have to ask myself. No one else is responsible for that other than me. And so I think we look back, I look back on my life and go, why was it always so much easier to find value, worth and fulfillment from strangers than it was from the people that I love most? Is that a problem with them? Or is that a result of my inactivity and my inability to allow myself to be present and fully show up without having the fear that they were going to run away. And I think all of those are parts and pieces of the questions we sort of have to ask ourselves. At least me regularly, maybe for somebody else. You only have to do it quarterly. I tend to have to do it daily to go, what are, what are those things? And so as I look back over my life, I, you know, graduated high school, I, I was going to go play football. Then I realized, like, right before I graduated, like, I don't even like football. I'm about to go do this for four more years. This is a terrible idea. And so then Through a SU events. And I'm going to junior college for a couple of years. And I transferred to Texas A and M. I graduated from there. I went to a place out in East Texas called Sky Ranch. It's a summer camp for kids. And I worked there for four years. I came back to Dallas, I joined a staff, pastoral staff at a church for about four years and did that. So I was in full time ministry for about eight years right out of college. Realized that I was a jerk and that I was way more interested in you liking me than I was teaching you about God. And that's a really crappy reason to be a pastor. And so I don't know if I had it. I don't know if I could tell you that, that clearly, but I could tell you I was a jerk. So got offered a teaching pastor job in 2010. Big church, few thousand people said, hey, 26, one tattoo, faux hawk. You think you're God's gift to people? Why don't you teach 25 weekends a year? And I said, why don't we not do that? Because that sounds like a bad idea. And so I said, no. They said, what do you want to do? And I said, you know, of course I want to be a wedding photographer. And that was more like it was a hobby my wife and I had. She had just quit her job. We just got marri married, had an apartment, no debt, no kids, one dog. Let's start a business. Why not? This is pre Instagram, this is pre Pinterest, pre personal branding. Like, we got so lucky. So we rode that wave, sort of our entrance into entrepreneurship. And then I started this business about 11 years ago. We found out we were pregnant with our son. And you know, my wife said, if you could do anything for the rest of your life, what would you want to do? And I did not say this eloquently, although I do like to recount that I did because it does make me feel better about my career choice. As I said, if I could do anything the rest of my life, if I could attempt to end my life having attempted to become an expert at anything, I would love to be a people expert. If I could marry my life experience, which is like the reality of what was with eight years of ministry, which is the reality of the deeply caring for the human being, for people. And at this point now marry that with 15 or so years of entrepreneurship, or we'll call that business or commerce, right? If you could marry history and your past and you could marry that with a deep care and desire for. For a human with the capacity to take that into the market to say, what then shall we do? If I could marry all those things together, if I could be an expert at anything, I'd want to be a people expert. How could I do that? And so a little over a decade ago, started coaching individuals and saying, hey, I had this business. Do you want one? They're like, I'd love to have that. I was like, I'll show you how. And inside I'm like, how are we going to show them how? I know it's never going to work. And, you know, you fast forward a decade and you go, I. I get methodologies and identity mapping, the confidence method and the influence appraisal, and all these sort of ways. And I think for me, what has helped me in all of that make is for me to say daily with my clients, and every time I get on stage, I start every keynote the same. Hey, so glad you're here. Get a pen and paper out. You're gonna need something to write with and write on. If you came to a conference, you don't have anything to write with. I'm asking you to ask yourself. I'm not sure why you're here, but you are here, so get something out to write with. And as we get going, let me start it with this. If you leave today knowing more about me than you know about you, then I failed you. I'm not going home with you. You're going home with you. So buckle in, do the work, show it for yourself. I guarantee you can leave here with something that might actually change your life. Let's get going. Because I have to have that reminder for myself. Otherwise, I will think that I am your hero and I am your answer, and I am not.