Transcript
A (0:02)
What if midlife isn't a crisis, but rather a crossroads? What if this ache you're carrying, the one you can't quite name, isn't weakness, but instead wisdom trying to break through. My name is Nelson Paul. I'm an experiential psychologist that makes it easy for midlife men to reclaim identity and reinvent themselves. In this three part audio mini course, I'm going to give you some tools to help you process the loss of who you were supposed to be and reimagine who you might now become. There comes a point in a man's life, often quiet, often unannounced, where the map he's been using no longer leads the way. The goals, the roles, the routines, they all begin to feel off. Not necessarily broken, just misaligned. That feeling, it's not weakness and it's certainly not failure. Truth be told, midlife a grief event. It's the death of former identities. The athlete, the romantic, the dreamer, the son, the hero. What we actually lose in midlife but rarely admit. The body we once had. The energy we once felt. An old dream that quietly died. The notion of that success would satisfy a version of ourselves we can't get back. A relationship that grew distant. A sense of meaning or mission. We don't grieve these things, at least not openly. We bury them in overwork. We numb them with distractions. But deep down, there's an ache we have yet to name. Today we begin by doing something most men are never invited to do. We give language to that ache. Not to fix it, not to solve it. Just to say this mattered, this was real. This is now gone. Your practice to write an elegy for what's missing. Don't worry about being poetic here. Just write short prose that's honest and tells the truth. Here are a few prompts to get you started. Let them sit with you for a moment, but don't overthink. Just lean into what's true. Pause the audio. If and when you need to set a time limit of 10 minutes, you can write it or you can speak it as an audio note. What matters is that you begin, that you give voice to what's never been voiced. I'll ask you these prompts from a first person perspective. One, what have I quietly lost but never named? Two, what am I pretending not to grieve? Three, what part of me have I outgrown but still cling to? And 4, whose approval am I still chasing and why? Okay, now let's take the information we gathered from those prompts and turn it into a very short allergy. Here's an example of how you might frame what you just uncovered. Your laughter, once so bright, now only echoes softly. Your absence leaves a space, a silent empty part of me. This captures the essence of our loss and remembrance in an efficient and concise form. And that elegy. That elegy was something I wrote to a former identity of mine after the actual midlife assimilation that I am no longer a son. And there you have it. Part one of the Good Grief John Doe Audio Mini course. Remember, this work matters even if no one else sees it. And if this practice has opened a door for you and you're ready for deeper work, check out my five day challenge Resurrection Camp. To learn more. Just log on to Resurrection Camp. You'll find that link in the show notes of this podcast. Otherwise I'll see you in part two where we talk sensory mapping. Until next time.