199. Jordan Jensen: You Can’t Say That (But Actually You Can)

Summary

Podcast Summary

Mike Birbiglia's Working It Out

Episode 199: Jordan Jensen – You Can’t Say That (But Actually You Can)
Released: January 19, 2026
Guest: Jordan Jensen (Comedian, Actor)
Host: Mike Birbiglia

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Episode Overview

This episode features comedian and rising star Jordan Jensen, fresh off her Netflix special "Take Me With You" and a new acting role in Bradley Cooper’s “Is This Thing On?” Mike and Jordan delve into her creative process, journey into standup, pushing comedic boundaries, and personal history—including her unique family dynamic, experiences with OCD, and the challenge of translating darkness into laughter. Together, they unpack the perils and pleasures of confessional comedy, crowd work gone awry, and the complexities of audience reception—while workshopping new material and sharing behind-the-scenes stories.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jordan’s Exploding Career and Online Presence

• Special & Movie Timing: Jordan’s rise coincided with her special and an acting role but wasn’t premeditated ([04:17]).
• Attitude Toward Online Content: Embraces social media as a tool, considering it her “open mic” ([04:39]):

  "I have no beef with the Internet... that's an open mic for me." – Jordan, [05:08]

2. Behind the Scenes of Bradley Cooper’s Comedy Film

• Comedian Power on Set: Comics felt “in the power seat” because Cooper admired their world ([07:45]):

  "We were in the power seats because we were comics... He thought the comedians were so cool." – Jordan, [07:45]

• Authenticity in Acting: Bradley Cooper encouraged improvisation for more natural performances.

3. Jordan’s Unique Approach to Comedy

• No Filter Comedy: Mike notes her candor as surpassing many peers who claim “you can’t say anything anymore” ([09:13]):

  "Your special is like, what if there actually were no rules?" – Mike, [09:43]

• Personal Material:

  "As soon as something happens, I will be talking about it on stage... That's what you're in for, and I'm sorry." – Jordan, [13:10]

• Audience Reaction to Dark Topics: Jordan pushes into sensitive material—rape, divorce, family trauma—often requiring her to reassure the crowd she’s okay ([14:10]).

4. Navigating Vulnerability & Personal Life Onstage

• Softness Beneath the Edge: Despite her tough exterior, Jordan is deeply vulnerable, describing herself as a "soft baby" ([09:58]).
• Romantic Relationships: Often surprises partners who expect only her “bro” side; discusses challenges of sharing real-life relationships in her act ([10:26–10:50]).
• Artist Eccentricity & Relationships: Both host and guest agree that artists are often outsiders, questioning if they can ever “fit” with anyone ([11:21]).

5. Crowd Work and On-Stage Tension

• When It Goes Wrong: Jordan recounts an incident where crowd work led to a near-fight with an audience member after pushing a sensitive topic ([25:58]):

  "She heard me say that and came out and tried to, like, fight me on stage." – Jordan, [27:26]

• Anger & Restraint: She admits to an anger problem but has never actually fought an audience member ([27:32]).

6. Structure of Jordan’s Comedy and Audience Trust

• Non-linear Structure: Unlike traditional storytelling comedians, Jordan’s set is more of a branching, organic roadmap ([28:22–30:12]).
• Building Trust to Go Dark: Jordan starts with lighter, relatable topics before moving into heavier themes:

  "You cannot put a woman on the screen and have them be like, periods. Am I right? I would turn off emotionally." – Jordan, [31:24]

• Appealing to Men and Women: It’s a conscious effort to win over male audiences who she feels are “programmed to hear a woman's voice and be like, that's my mother and it's about to tell me that I did something wrong" ([33:33–33:44]).

7. Family Background & Identity

• Queer Family Dynamic: Grew up with “three moms” after her mother divorced her dad and came out as gay ([17:04–17:44]).
• Not Bisexual, Despite Assumptions: Jordan discusses navigating her sexual orientation in a family of out lesbians, but says she’s "painfully straight" ([18:23–19:20]).

8. Origins in Standup—Performing for a Paralyzed Friend

• Remarkable Beginning: Started developing comedy material for her best friend Helene, who was paralyzed.

  "I would park her outside, and I would run them by her, and she couldn't move. It was awesome." – Jordan, [22:00]

• Mourning and Sensitivity: Still hasn’t brought this story into her special due to its emotional weight ([22:24–22:38]).

9. OCD as Comedy Fuel

• Open About Struggles: Jordan vividly shares her OCD compulsions (e.g., checking the stove, intrusive thoughts) and how they’ve affected her life ([38:19–39:59]):

  "I'm the most ocd, and I get mad when people are fake ocd..." – Jordan, [39:02]

  • Example: Had a panic attack on a film set due to fear of biting Laura Dern ([39:17]).

10. Personal Relationships & Social Observations

• Deal Breakers: Hates video game obsession and people who say they’re bored—wants curiosity in a partner ([41:09–41:30]).
• Jealousy: Admits frank jealousy of comedians like Shane Gillis and Nikki Glazer for their likability and femininity ([42:13–43:26]).

11. Workshopping New Jokes

• Police vs. Comedians in Physical Training: Joking about how obese comedians often learn martial arts, but “cops just need to empty a full clip” ([45:59–46:28]).
• Historical Re-enactment of Objects: Observes how we ironically use old things (typewriters, suspenders) for style ([48:00–48:29]).
• Women Supporting Women, But with Limits: Wonders about the authenticity of unconditional female affirmation ([48:49–50:19]):

  "If you're telling her that, what does that mean about me?... Some people suck. Some people, you're like, you deserve no relationship." – Jordan & Mike, [49:13–50:09]

• Domestic Roles: Both joke about the need for a “third” in their household to solve practical problems ([53:09–53:19]).

12. Charity Shout-Out

• Working It Out for a Cause: Jordan picks the Humane Society, reflecting her love for animals over people ([54:23–54:38]).

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On No-Filter Comedy:
  "Your special is like, what if there actually were no rules?"
  — Mike Birbiglia ([09:43])

• On Being Vulnerable on Stage:
  "I have to be clear. As soon as something happens... I will be talking about it on stage."
  — Jordan Jensen ([13:10])

• On Audience Pushback:
  "I have like a big chunk on rape right now which people really freak out at..."
  — Jordan Jensen ([14:10])

• On Gender Dynamics in Comedy:
  "Every man is programmed to hear a woman's voice and be like, that's my mother. And it's about to tell me that I did something wrong."
  — Jordan Jensen ([33:44])

• On OCD Intrusive Thoughts:
  "[It's] when your friend says, do you want to hold my baby? And you go, yeah, but I'm gonna rip your baby's head off... I don't want to, but it can't be trusted."
  — Jordan Jensen ([39:02])

• On Jealousy in Comedy:
  "I'm jealous of Gillis because the cult of personality thing is so... potent."
  — Jordan Jensen ([42:20])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 04:17 — Jordan discusses the “explosion” in her career
• 07:45 — Feeling empowered as a comic on the set of "Is This Thing On?"
• 09:13–09:43 — Mike describes Jordan’s “no filter” special
• 13:10 — Jordan on discussing relationships in her act
• 14:10–15:16 — Dealing with audience discomfort around taboo subjects
• 25:58–27:32 — Crowd work gone wrong: an audience member tries to fight Jordan
• 28:22–30:12 — On structuring comedy without a conventional narrative “arc”
• 38:19–39:59 — Jordan details her OCD behaviors and intrusive thoughts
• 41:09–41:30 — Jordan’s relationship dealbreakers
• 48:49–50:09 — Comedic riff on “not everyone deserves the best” in relationships
• 54:23–54:38 — Selecting the Humane Society as her favored nonprofit

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Tone and Style

Both Mike and Jordan blend self-deprecation, candor, and sharp wit, exploring darkness with heart and humor. The episode is irreverent, confessional, and unflinchingly honest—mirroring the raw style of Jordan’s standup while providing warmth and camaraderie in conversation.

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Conclusion

In this episode of "Working It Out," Mike Birbiglia and Jordan Jensen don’t just workshop material—they dissect what it means to create boundary-pushing, personal art in comedy. Whether tackling taboo subjects, processing trauma, or navigating the unpredictable nature of crowd work, Jordan embodies fearlessness, introspection, and empathy. The conversation delivers for fans of both comedians, offering an engaging mix of storytelling, vulnerability, and comic insight.

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Show links:

• Jordan Jensen's Instagram: @JordanJensenLOLstop
• Take Me With You (Netflix Special)
• Is This Thing On? (Movie)
• Humane Society (Charity Highlighted)

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For new listeners, this episode is a powerful, funny, and frank look at the making of a compelling comedic voice—and what it costs to speak your rawest truth on stage.

Transcript

[Jordan Jensen]

This is great. Feels very self aggrandizing. Is this all interview? I want to ask you questions. How did you not flinch when all those toys dropped? How did you not flinch? Did you edit out the flinch?

[Mike Birbiglia]

No. It's an optical illusion that, like they're around me, they're not around me, they're behind me.

[Jordan Jensen]

But if you had jumped a little bit, it would have taken you out of it.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah, totally.

[Jordan Jensen]

It's so good.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I'm glad you got your question in.

[Jordan Jensen]

I really do.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Every interview you get one question. That was yours.

[Jordan Jensen]

That's great.

[Mike Birbiglia]

That is the voice of the great Jordan Jensen turning the tables on me. It's the first time someone has requested to ask a question of the interviewer on the show, which is a testament to how many questions I asked. It's a good episode today. Jordan, of course, if you don't know with a reference, she's asking why I didn't flinch when the toys dropped. In my special, the new one, we talk about that today a little bit. We talk about Jordan's new special on Netflix which is called Take me with you, which is so funny and raw and crosses the line, goes close to the line in so many different ways. We talk about that just as a concept today. Jordan talks about a lot of dark stuff, especially even on the show today, talks about a lot of dark stuff, which I love. But if that's not for you, this might not be for you. But I think it's a great interview. She's also a great actor. She's in the new movie is this Thing On? Written and directed by Bradley Cooper, starring Will Arnett and Laura Dern. She is a great comic. We have a great chat. I think you're gonna love it. By the way, next week is our 200th episode. Count it, 200 episodes. We thank you so much for coming with us on this journey. We have booked a very special guest and I won't even reveal who it's going to be yet, but you can guess. Thanks to everyone who supported us over these past almost six years. Five and a half years. There's so much great stuff to come. Also, thanks for everyone who signed up for the Working it Out premium. We just dropped another bonus episode with my wife Jenny where we talk about jokes and poems. Someone messaged me this week and says the people who subscribe to Premium should be called the Berbelia for familia. And I was like, it ain't terrible. Like, I was like, it's, it's a little corny. But I was Also like maybe the Berbilia familia. There's more stuff coming. Thanks for subscribing to that. And if you do subscribe, by the way, you get no ads. Some people like the ads. My wife likes the ads. But some people really don't like the ads, which is part of the reason we did the premium. By the way. Thanks to everyone who came out to see me in all out on Broadway. I had such a blast. With Cecily Strong, Wayne Brady and Beck Bennett. The show continues with a rotating cast. I love this chat with Jordan Jensen. We talk about her background, which is so fascinating and unique in Ithaca, New York. We talk about how she started practicing stand up for her paralyzed friend who she was caring for. Kind of really inspiring, unique story. I find her to be hilarious. No filter. If you're able to see Jordan live, she's fantastic. This week she's in Cleveland and then Tempe, then Salt Lake City, Houston, New Orleans, Boston, Cincinnati. She's just a great comic. I would. If you're able to see her live, you should. She is. She is a live wire. I love watching her. I think you're going to love this one. Enjoy my conversation with the great Jordan Jensen. I feel like the special exploded. Like, I feel like I met you like a year or two ago and you had stuff going on, but now it just feels like it's. I said, I saw you the other day. I'm like, jordan, your career is going really well. And you're like, yeah, it's really weird.

[Jordan Jensen]

It's really weird. I mean, the special happened at the same time. I recorded the special and then I was in the movie, but they weren't related.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Right. Bradley Cooper's movie is this thing on? Yeah, Bradley Cooper's movie that had Will Arnett and which a lot of it shot at the Comedy Center.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. So it was like where you and I know each other once that I think made it seem like it was.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Like, you're an ick girl.

[Jordan Jensen]

Right, right, right, right. But I think it was like, I think it's a coincidence. And also it's just the, the other thing that makes people think that it's like exploding is I'm so. I'm. I am one of these person that people talk shit about where they're like, I'm so sick of seeing standup clips three times a week. Like, I'm like, just get it out. Get. Yeah, I have no beef with the Internet. I don't. I never had the, like this, these face to camera videos that people are Doing during the pandemic, I was like, that's great. Like, that's an open mic for me. I'm very much like, this is a tool.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

And I'm so happy it exists.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Like, so you're in existing on sort of as a variation of yourself. Right. Comedian.

[Jordan Jensen]

I think she's bi, which I'm not, but I seem bi.

[Mike Birbiglia]

But like.

[Jordan Jensen]

And she's a nurse.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I remember when Bradley was just sort of hanging around the club.

[Jordan Jensen]

It was so weird. Wasn't that so weird?

[Mike Birbiglia]

It was like a whole thing. Show up and it'd be like, Willette and Bradley Cooper. All right. I guess.

[Jordan Jensen]

And Bradley just watching Will, as he did stand up in the back, I was like, this is the scariest.

[Mike Birbiglia]

That it was interesting to watch because Will Arnett would do standup in character and some people would know who he was. Famous actor Will Arnett from Arrested Development. But also, like, some people wouldn't. And it would be this thing where, like, his character was bombing, but really it's him bombing.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. So brave.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

I was like, this is crazy. I was. Because then he's doing like, if there are three chunks in the movie of him doing standup where he gets better and better, it's like he's basically doing all of them. When he would go up.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

So it's like a little unhinged because it's like, it's these dissected pieces that he's slamming together.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

And then he would run through it and I was like, this is crazy to not at the end be like, just so you know, this is for a movie. I'm not an insane person.

[Mike Birbiglia]

No, totally. And so did Bradley just sort of. Did you meet him at the club? And then he was like, hey, would you want to do this thing in my movie?

[Jordan Jensen]

They were like, I got. There was casting going on and then they were like, read for Jill and for Nina, which is Chloe Radcliffe's part. And I am like, who your buddies with? Yeah, yeah. Which was awesome. But I'm like, very new to auditioning. So I basically had, like, my laptop on books and it was falling and I had a sinus infection and my dog kept getting in the frame. And I was like, I'm sorry. Read the. You know. And they were like, you're perfect. We want you for Jill, obviously. And it was. I think the casting director had followed my stand up and was a fan. And then they sent it to Bradley Cooper and he's like, yeah, that's. She's what we want.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Had you met him at the club.

[Jordan Jensen]

No, I just seen him in Coward.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh. And not bent. Gone over.

[Jordan Jensen]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You were just a father.

[Jordan Jensen]

I was, like, way starstruck. I mean, I'm, like, obsessed with him. I grew up obsessed with him.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

Silver Linings playbook. I've seen totally hundreds of times.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Star is born.

[Jordan Jensen]

It's really fucked up. It's crazy. Did the. He, like. Yeah, he'll, like, talk about. He talked about me on Rogan, and I, like, fully dissociated and was like, imagining myself as a little kid seeing him do that. And I was like, this is not. This is insane. It was crazy.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Were you able to calm down on set? Like, your performance is so. Your performance is so relaxed that I'm, like, kind of not believing you.

[Jordan Jensen]

Okay. So the thing that helped is I realized that I. We were in the power seats because we were comics.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

And he wanted. He thought the comedians were so cool. And I was like, oh, he thinks we are cool. Right? And then that was.

[Mike Birbiglia]

He know. Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

Right. And then that was able to meet for me to be like, bradley, shut up. You know, I mean, like, not. But it was able for me to be like, joke with him and be, like, way more playful with him because I felt like I had a little bit more of a leg up.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Totally.

[Jordan Jensen]

Because he was in my house.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Totally.

[Jordan Jensen]

You know what I mean? He was like, what do you guys. Where do you put your jackets? What do you eat? What do you do? This. How would you say? This?

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

And so, because I was in a position of, like. I'm asking you. He was. Which is, I think is a good move.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Well, yeah, I think that's the way to do it. I mean, that's certainly. When I'm directing, I'm trying to, like, you're. You're trying to get people to act, like, how roughly they would act.

[Jordan Jensen]

Right.

[Mike Birbiglia]

With these words.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Or not the words.

[Jordan Jensen]

Like, when he was directing and he was like, tell Arnett that you want to have sex with him. Like, he was like, tell him you want to. You want to sleep with him. I was like, I actually can't say the words. I would like to sleep. That's actually never. I cannot conjure that up. So just like, we should fog. And he was like, great. That's what I mean. I was like, I can't. So. But I don't know what it would be like to be in a movie where they're like, you need to cry right now. You know, I don't know what that would feel like. But because he was like, I deferred to you.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It was funny. I would describe your special, and I love the special, but I would describe it as like, if someone had actually no filter.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

The way that a lot of these, like, comedians are like, you can't say anything anymore. Like, let me just say, you know, I think they're trying to be you, actually.

[Jordan Jensen]

Oh.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Like, oddly, I think, like, a lot of times you see these people complain about, like, comedians complain, like, you can't say anything more. And, like. And then they don't kind of say much.

[Jordan Jensen]

Right, right, right, right. Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You're like, okay, but totally. But actually, you can say stuff and, like, you're not that interesting.

[Jordan Jensen]

Right.

[Mike Birbiglia]

So I don't know what you're fighting for. Exactly.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

But your special is like, what if there actually were no rules? And I'm gonna just say a ton of shit that you would think. You can't. And how this relates to the conversation that night. You're a romantic.

[Jordan Jensen]

I'm a soft baby. It's really crazy. Yeah. It's like I have very much an exterior, like, don't fuck with me thing. And then. But behind. I mean, that's what fucks men up, too. Cause they're like, I think I'm getting a girl who, like, boxes and will step on my balls and does comedy and is very, like, a bro. And then behind closed doors, I'm like, but do you love me? But do you think that I'm pretty? Am I fat? Do you think that? Am I stupid? Am I dumb? And it's like, they're like, no, I did not sign up for this.

[Mike Birbiglia]

When did they find out about that version of Jordan?

[Jordan Jensen]

No, I trap them. And then. Yeah. And then I start to do it. I'm now dating somebody who's like, oh, thank God.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

You know what I mean? Like, thank God there's, like, a scared child in there because I had a kid. Yeah, yeah, totally.

[Mike Birbiglia]

For you.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. But it is. But in so many. They're like, I got duped. Like, I thought we were gonna play video games and throw a football around.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. And I'm like, no, I'm scared of football flying because my parents, my family is, like, super gruff. I was not. I was like, a sad little mall goth who used to write poetry. Like, I'm a softie. My mom is a, like, D1 athlete. My sister, my dad, all athletes. And I was super fat, super weird. Ocd, journaling, writing, crafting. Yeah. And they were like, what the hell is this thing doing in our house.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

So I've grown up being like, no, I'm strong like my. Like my mommy and daddy, but I'm not at all. I'm a huge bitch.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It's weird because I actually think this opens out to, like, all. Not just comedians, but all artists and then all kind of like, I was even, like, eccentrics. It's like you just go like, can I ever be with anyone? And that is a fundamental question.

[Jordan Jensen]

I still think it's really weird, the idea of being like. The idea of not throwing a grenade in just for the sake of material.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Just for the sake of material.

[Jordan Jensen]

You know what I mean? Like, the idea of just having, like, steady as she goes is really scary to me. And I think that's why I sign up for these tumultuous relationships.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Well, I think part of it is, like, throw. Like you're saying it's throwing a grenade in of whatever. Talking about on stage. But I actually think, like, the throwing the grenade in partly is that as comedians, you're talking about your life. You're kind of disassociating from your own life.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Like, I'm going to put a version of my life into the public.

[Jordan Jensen]

Right.

[Mike Birbiglia]

And it's not even necessarily true or accurate, but it's a version of how I perceive things.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

And then it's like, you involve another person and then it's like, yeah, you too.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're also in my. This. This hue that I've painted our entire life. Yeah, exactly.

[Mike Birbiglia]

So is a big sacrifice on their part.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. I mean, that's the thing about my special is, like, my family has been. So just, like, you can say whatever you want. Thank God there's no. I mean, my dad is dead, which.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Helps, but, like, three moms and your dad is dead. That's your. That's your background.

[Jordan Jensen]

Moms are like, rip us apart. My sister's, like, tearing me apart. Yeah. Which is helpful. But I do. I mean, like, when I'm dating somebody, like, the second I start dating, I go on stage and talk about it. And I have to be clear. I'm like, dude, I. As soon as something happens, I. I will be talking about it on stage. And if that sucks, I. That's what you're in for, and I'm sorry.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Right. So do you ever think, like, maybe someday I'll do less personal material? No, I know. I mean, I was going to say, like, if, If. If that's how you felt, I would push you away from. From that impulse.

[Jordan Jensen]

No, I just am clear with the person I'm with. And if it's like a secure relationship where they're getting a lot of support from me. Also if we have weird. Say we have weird sex, for example, and something goes awry, I'm hope the person I'm with, I'm laughing about it with. And then they know the joke and then I go, I talk about it on stage, what happened and it's fine, right? It's not like I'm being like that weird thing happened and I'm not going to tell them about it, but I am going to talk about it. It's like if I have a partner, we're going to be. I'm going to be making fun of our dynamic together. Right? That you have to be. That's why I can't date people who aren't funny or have that self deprecating thing.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Do you have things where you're talking about topics on stage and people are just fully like, you cannot talk about that topic.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, yeah, totally. I have like a big chunk on rape right now which people really freak out at. And like I have a joke about like when your dad, like, which I think a lot of people have. When your parents get divorced and your dad all of a sudden starts fighting for custody. Yeah, but he never gave a about you before, you know what I mean? Like, he didn't care.

[Mike Birbiglia]

That's great.

[Jordan Jensen]

And now he's lawyering up. You're like, you just put a cigarette on my forehead. You know, I mean like, what are we talking about? And people get weird about that where.

[Mike Birbiglia]

They'Re like, why would they get weird about that? I think it's defensive of like just men's rights or something.

[Jordan Jensen]

I think they're like, it's too dark. I think there's a darkness. And I think there's also like a. Yeah. I mean a lot of times I have to, I have to tell the audience, like, I'm okay. I go to therapy many days a week. I am okay. I'm all right, I'm doing fine. I have people who love me and. But it is. And I have to soften it up a bit and. But the way that I first pitch these things out, they're like, ooh. And I'm like, all right, all right, I'll throw it back. But it is. That's a tough one.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Do you talk to people in person or is it like people message you and stuff?

[Jordan Jensen]

Oh, like shout out. It's the vibe.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It's the vibe. Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

I can feel them pull back and I Can see, like, Minneapolis is a perfect place because it's full of sweetie pies. And they're really emotionally repressed, but they're also really nice, and they just want everything to be okay.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

So when I do stand up there and they go, oh, that's like, a good gauge. Like, it's hard in New York because people are like, yeah, put the cigarette out on the baby's face. But you go to the Midwest, and they're like, no, not the little girl. You know what I mean?

[Mike Birbiglia]

Right. But is the inverse true, too, where, like, you talk about topics and people like, oh, my God, thank you for talking about that. Is that, like, a thing?

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. Oh, totally. 100% sure. Where people come up later and they're like, dudes. Same. Same exact thing. Yeah. But I want it to be. I want it to resonate. I will. I will edit it until the point that I'm like, I can get this point across without alienating a huge amount of you.

[Mike Birbiglia]

When I watch you at the Cellar, I'm just like, it's one of my favorite things to do. Because you seem happy.

[Jordan Jensen]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You've been really happy on stage.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. It is one of the few times I am very happy. I mean, it just erases. Even when I was in that tumultuous relationship, I would just be so depressed and just, like, in this big fight and, like, about to break up. And then I would get on stage, and it just, like, went away. And that's how it was growing up, because I was, like, £200. I was so fat. I was, like, so uncomfortable. My family life was awful. And then I would just get to school, and kids would be around me, and I would just tell them stories that were really funny. And I'd be like, this is the best. This is, like, the only dopamine I'm getting, watching these kids who should be bullying me, laugh.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

It's, like, the best feeling. And it's also.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You were incentivized when you were a kid to be funny.

[Jordan Jensen]

Totally. Yeah. At, like, a very young age. Yeah, totally.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Two of your moms married to each other and then.

[Jordan Jensen]

So my mom and my dad were together. They were rugby buddies.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Okay.

[Jordan Jensen]

My dad was her rugby coach. Then they got together. She was obviously gay, but she was.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Like, when did your dad find out that she was gay?

[Jordan Jensen]

They split up when I was, like, 2.

[Mike Birbiglia]

When she tried out for the rugby team.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. It was crazy that he didn't know.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It was nuts.

[Jordan Jensen]

And then they started a construction business together, and Then they split up. She dated men for a little while after that, and then she went gay. She's very similar to me. Like, she got kind of bullied into being gay. I haven't gotten there yet. But she does love men. She just got. She just kind of, like, came up against so many men that were trying to, like, extract her life force.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, wow.

[Jordan Jensen]

That she was like, all right, I need. I actually felt it the other day. I was with a. I was with a female friend and I was like, I was the man and she was obviously the girl. And it was like, basically a date. And I was like, oh, I so get this. Like, I so get this person looking up at you and being like, you're the daddy and I'm the baby. And I was like, this is like. I'm like, I feel like I could do anything. I could show this person stuff and they would be like, wow. So I get why she switched, but I'm way too much. I love the. I love being in the position of wow way more than the right. But I get the. I get where she switched because I've always wondered that. I'm like, you were so into dudes and now you're like a hard lesbian.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Do you ever describe yourself as bisexual or.

[Jordan Jensen]

No, no, I've tried a thousand times. I truly.

[Mike Birbiglia]

A thousand times, I think counts.

[Jordan Jensen]

I've tried. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Nobody counts as bisexual.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, totally. Well, my moms are like, just do it. Your life will be so much better. And women are so, like, forward with.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Right. And probably think you're gay.

[Jordan Jensen]

Right. 100.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

And then so I've been like, yeah, I've had. A few times. I've had people that I, like, had a really good connection with. And I was like, I can't do the physical thing. And then I've had people that I was like, they're attractive, but I couldn't. It's just like, there's. I'm. I'm almost, like, so envious of men.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

That I'm. It makes me so attracted to them. Like, I'm so envious of just having, like, a square body with no tits and just like a dick that goes into stuff. And being a woman, I'm like, this is humiliating. This is crazy. So. Yeah. But yeah, me and my sister are both painfully straight. I mean, we're just like, boy crazy.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You started doing stand up performing for a paralyzed friend?

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

That's interesting.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. Helene. Yeah, it was.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Is that the first time you did stand up? Yeah, she was paralyzed. Is it in Ithaca?

[Jordan Jensen]

No, she. We went to school together at Alfred University, and we were best friends. She was like, me times two. Like, she was just so funny and so out there and so crazy. So we found each other, and we were just like, rascals.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

And we became super close, and then she got paralyzed just by, like, the cyst around her cutting off her. Yeah. It was crazy awful. And she's, like, this tall, super athletic girl.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Sis. Like, cutting off her, like, spinal cord. Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

So it was, like, months of her being like, I'm having neck pain.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh.

[Jordan Jensen]

And then they were like, oh, shit. This is. This. We have to get you into surgery. And they, like, got her into surgery, like, hours too late.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Wow.

[Jordan Jensen]

And it crimped it. And then I moved to Buffalo because we were, like, philosophy people.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Like, philosophy majors in school.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. And we had the, like, Nietzsche kind of, like, megalomaniac complex of, like, drinking beers together and being like, what if we're. What if we actually can, like, manipulate human behavior with just. You know what I mean? When you, like, go down this crazy, it's like a. It's truly, like, if you read too much Nietzsche and you, like, get this, like, complex.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Right.

[Jordan Jensen]

Let's do poker games. Because I think if I stay in a mindset, I can win all of the poker games. And we were like that. And then she got paralyzed, and it was like. It was just such a. Like, oh, shit. And it was like this. This realization, like, oh, we're not. We're just, like, flesh sacks. We're not these, like, unstoppable forces that can just get wasted and drive around like, Jesus. We are, like.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You're, like, 22 or something.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, she. Yeah. Well, my dad was 23 when I. When he died, so we were 22. Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

And then I moved there just to, like, be near her because it was so crazy. And then I got. They let me get certified to, like, be a nurse's aide.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, wow.

[Jordan Jensen]

So that we could just get drunk all day and I could, like, take care of her. And I almost killed her, like, multiple times. It was so fucked up. It was crazy what they let us. Me driving her handicap van and, like, trying to remote control her into it and just, like, toppling it over. It was crazy. And then, yeah, I started writing jokes, and I would park her outside, and I would run them by her, and she couldn't do anything about it. She couldn't move. It was awesome. And then she came to all of my open mics, which was very annoying for the clubs because it required A huge ada. Yeah. Huge lift and stuff that they had to like dust off and. Yeah, it was awesome. And it was just like. She's so funny. You know when you're with somebody and you're like in the same groove, it's so easy to write because you're like in this flow state of riffing with them.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

So that was great. And yeah, she was like a super cheerleader for the standup thing.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Do you ever talk about that on stage? I feel like that's not in the special.

[Jordan Jensen]

I don't talk about it at the Cellar. I do talk about it sometimes on the road.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I mean, feels like it's like really interesting to talk about. So specific.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, it's really specific. It's. It's. I'm like still kind of mourning the whole. Because she passed away.

[Mike Birbiglia]

No, I'm sorry.

[Jordan Jensen]

So there's like, I'm still like a little bit like precious with it.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

You know what I mean? But when I do talk about it, I get lost in it big time.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You're not ready to treat her like your boyfriends, Right.

[Jordan Jensen]

Exact.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Talk about it recklessly and I wish.

[Jordan Jensen]

It'Ll bum people out so much, but I should.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Maybe not though. Like, maybe it's not. It won't bum people out. Like, I think it's. Yeah, I think that that's pretty. Like even you saying it casually like it's beautiful. Like it's beautiful that like that happened to her and you moved home and like.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Took her to open mics and like would do material and riff. Like that's cool.

[Jordan Jensen]

It was really cool.

[Mike Birbiglia]

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[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, somebody tried to fight me. Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah. Like, and you. And I feel like you're like, I feel like I've been at the table with you where you feel tough, like you feel like you could punch someone.

[Jordan Jensen]

I can punch.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Do you ever. Have you ever had a physical altercation in a show?

[Jordan Jensen]

Okay, my problem is I do have like an anger problem. So like, like for example, this, okay, this one woman, I was like, she was, she was being very annoying and I was like, how, how is your relationship with your father? And her face shut down. And I was like, oh, bad was it? It was bad. And she was like, yeah. And I was like, like, like molesting or like. And she looks at the guy she's with and I had like pre. I had learned that basically she was into this guy and he wasn't into her from previous crowd work. And she got up and went to the bathroom and just started loudly wailing, crying.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh God.

[Jordan Jensen]

And what I should have done is been like, oh my God, can somebody go see if she's okay? That would all, would have dealt with all of it. But instead I went, you know what I fucking hate is that she's not even that upset. She just wants this guy to go in there and see if she's okay. And I Was like, go in there and see if she's okay. And he was like, I'm not. And I was like, dude, she literally is putting on a very dramatic show right now. It has nothing to do with me. She just wants you to feel bad for her. And I could, like. So then she heard me say that and came out and tried to, like, fight me on stage. And I could have de. Escalated it, but I was like, I'm not gonna participate in your delusion. I see you putting on this huge, ridiculous performance.

[Mike Birbiglia]

This is tough.

[Jordan Jensen]

I know what you're doing.

[Mike Birbiglia]

This is tough.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. So that shit happens where I get rage.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Did she. Did she swing?

[Jordan Jensen]

No, somebody grabbed her, but she was.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Kind of coming towards, running.

[Jordan Jensen]

Oh, God, she was tiny. I would love. I would love. Please, this. Or in the meet and greet line, I almost decked this woman because she squished. She, like, crunched my hand and dug her nails in, and I pulled my fist back and. And the. And the. The security was like, okay, okay, okay. And, like, took her away. But I will. I'm like. I get in fights all the time.

[Mike Birbiglia]

One of the things I was thinking when I was watching your special is like. Like, so many times with my shows, people will be like, how do you structure the shows? Because it's like a story, and then it's part of a larger story and all this kind of stuff, and it's like. It actually is pretty simple. I'm basically telling a story that leads to another story. Leads to another story, and it feels like it's going somewhere, and then. And it is going somewhere.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

And that's, like, the dramatic structure, that's, like, pretty straightforward. It's as old as time. But with yours, it doesn't have that structure. But I'm completely enthralled in this way where I'm like, I can't turn this off in the same. In a different way than other comedy specials. Like, I think it's worth noting, especially, like, to the listeners of this show, because we talk about, like, you know, play structure and screenplay structure and specials all the time is like, whatever you're doing is really working. And it's nothing like anything I've seen.

[Jordan Jensen]

You're saying the typical framework is open up a story that leads to another story, at least. No. And culminates in something that all makes sense.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah. And ultimately, it's part of a larger, full story. Like, all my shows are, like, a.

[Jordan Jensen]

Single story, whereas mine is.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yours is like squirrels. Well, yeah, squirrels are. It's. I don't even know how to describe what it is you're doing. I just know that when I'm watching it, I don't want to turn it off because I feel like I'll miss something thing.

[Jordan Jensen]

That's great. Which is great.

[Mike Birbiglia]

That's awesome. Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

It's ideal.

[Mike Birbiglia]

But, like, I'm curious, like, with your set list, do you arrive at that through some kind of logic of, like, how do I keep them hooked for where we're going?

[Jordan Jensen]

How do I keep them hooked? Yes. I mean, it's like the momentum. Like, for instance, Netflix was like, put all of the. Put all of the best stuff in the beginning. And I was like, unfortunately, that doesn't. It won't make sense. It has to be like, I'm starting at this little place and being like, it's weird that women's underwear doesn't fit anymore.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

And then moving it into being like, I got this underwear because I'm trying to be more feminine. And then I'm trying to be more feminine because this. This, this. Okay, now we have these three branches.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

And then I'm gonna move off of. So it is like, it does. I can't really move things around that easily. Like, even though I sat in the cellar, right now it is finding its way where it's like, this thing that opens up this thing. This. And if I open it up incorrectly, I have to be like, wait T out. Tiao tee out. Go back to the other thing. So it's like, it does have to branch off, and that finds itself.

[Mike Birbiglia]

People should watch. I mean, if they're listening to this. Like, you should go watch the special to understand, like, what we're talking about. But, like, it seems like almost like you're opening for yourself in the special. Like, you're. You're breaking the audience in on, like, topics.

[Jordan Jensen]

Right.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Your voice. And then once they understand.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yes.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Your topics, you go in deeper.

[Jordan Jensen]

Right.

[Mike Birbiglia]

On stuff that, like, if you talked about the. Like, being near your dad when he had sex when you were a kid.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

That was your lead in. I feel like the audience would be like, no.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. They were like, put that as the lead in. And I was like, dude, the amount of people that are gonna be like, I can't. I have. You have to, like, trust me. And then the most important part to me was understanding women's cycle, which is at the end.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

And I was like, I just need people to see this. Like, it's the thing that is important to me.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

But so I was like, maybe I should put it sooner. And then I was like, no, because you. You cannot put a woman on the screen and have them be like, periods. Am I right? It just. I would turn off emotionally.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

Like, I have to trust you and be like, you're not a hype. You're not a scary uber feminist. You're also not some alt right person. Like, I have to trust it. And now I can listen to you go into this thing that's like, hyper feminine. Because men, I would be like, I want you guys. Women already know men. I need you to get it. So I learned from doing the hour. I was like, they don't check out. If I've, like, convinced them of all. If I've criticized women with fake tits, if I've criticized men for, like. If I've shown you that I'm not just being like, man, you don't know because you don't bleed out of your vagina. You know what I mean? Like, because they'll just shut down. That's also. I haven't thought about this, but getting men on board.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

Is also a huge part of my life.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Is it harder to get men on board than women?

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, for sure.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Why?

[Jordan Jensen]

Because women are kind of like. If you're a masculine woman, women are kind of drawn to that. Because women are kind of drawn to masculine energy.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

So if I'm on stage and I'm like, all right, all you little bitches, listen up. They're like, okay. Whereas men are like, I'm not going to let you know what I mean. You're still a woman to me. Right?

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

So then it's like getting them. Because men have more of the, like, you know, the like, aloof kind of like, come town, sort of like, don't take things too seriously. It's like a little hacky to be too dramatic.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

So then luring them in is, like, very difficult, which I feel like is what I've spent my whole life doing is being like, dude, just so you know, I'm chill. But I have to tell you something crazy. You know what I mean?

[Mike Birbiglia]

Do you feel like you have like 50, 50 men women fans?

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, totally. I think so. I mean, it looks like that.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

And it's like. Yeah, I think it is like, that. That is funny. I never thought about that. It is a huge pursuit of my life is getting men to calm down enough to tell them something, digest something that is emotionally heavy.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Do you think men are, like, when men come to see a comedy show, do you think they're inclined to not like the female comics?

[Jordan Jensen]

I think they want a comic that. That talks like a boy. You know what I mean? I don't think they want to. I think that every man is programmed to hear a woman's voice and be like, that's my mother. And it's about to tell me that I did something wrong.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

So if you go in and you're like, dude, I'm just wanna. I'm just one of you boys. By the way. Periods are crazy. Hold on, let me tell you then that helps, you know?

[Mike Birbiglia]

Hold on, hold on.

[Jordan Jensen]

No, hold on.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Dude.

[Jordan Jensen]

It's cool though. It's like come kind of. It's a lot of lead ups being like, be crazy.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Don't get me wrong. Yeah, they be crazy. So.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, totally. Yeah, it is. Because my mom is a boy and my dad was a boy, so it had. My whole life has been like, got boys. Listen up. It's okay. I'm not sensitive. I'm just saying some.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Right.

[Jordan Jensen]

You know, there's no, like, my family is not like, let's get into the intricacies of the. The feminine emotions at all.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Do you have big lesbian audience?

[Jordan Jensen]

I think so.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

I don't. My audience is like punks. It's also, it's little. It's a lot of girls who have farms upstate and carrots. Loose carrots.

[Mike Birbiglia]

How many. How many girls have farms upstairs?

[Jordan Jensen]

It's a lot of that. It's a lot of girls with like round glasses who are hairy as fuck. Yeah, but maybe. Yeah, but they're lesbians too. Yeah. Yeah, but lesbians go hard for other lesbians. Like if you're like a lesbian fan is like die hard for Jessica Kierson. Like, they just really. Yeah, like the straight lesbians, those come to me. The like very butch women.

[Mike Birbiglia]

The straight lesbians come to me.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. Or the straight girls that are like just. Just like, I have a crush on you. That's a big thing.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

And then also the guys that are the have like not the bro y mentality, but the like. I grew up skateboarding and I'm kind of a sensitive kid.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

You know what I mean? But my brother used to beat the out of me. Those guys I get a lot too.

[Mike Birbiglia]

That's a really specific demo.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, totally.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I was gonna go.

[Jordan Jensen]

This is great. Feels very self aggrandizing. Is this all interview? I want to ask you questions. How did you not flinch when all those toys dropped? How did you not flinch? Did you edit out the flinch?

[Mike Birbiglia]

No, it's all. It's all in rehearsal because I'm like downstage what?

[Jordan Jensen]

You didn't blink?

[Mike Birbiglia]

Nah. Because the toys we're referencing, I can't.

[Jordan Jensen]

Tell you how many times special.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Okay. The toys, like, if you're imagining in here where the corkboard is, the toys are like over there. It's an optical illusion that, like, they're around me, they're not around me, they're behind me.

[Jordan Jensen]

I've looked at it, I've seen the distance. And I still would be like, no.

[Mike Birbiglia]

And also some of it's dangerous.

[Jordan Jensen]

I know.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah. One of the things is like a 60 pound, like, car seat.

[Jordan Jensen]

I know. I assessed it. I was like, those are hitting hard. I thought maybe you had made fake foam things of real things. And I was like, that is like. But you don't move at all, which is so good for the bit. You know what I mean? That you're just like. Because you're a parent and you're being like, I don't even care what the is going on around me. I'm so dissociated. Yeah, but if you had jumped a little bit, it would have taken you out of it.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah, totally.

[Jordan Jensen]

It's so good.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I'm glad you got your question in.

[Jordan Jensen]

I really. I bet I do.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Every interview you get one question that was yours.

[Jordan Jensen]

That's good. Great.

[Mike Birbiglia]

What are people's favorite and least favorite thing about you?

[Jordan Jensen]

Probably the looping. I. I'm a looper. I beat the dead horse. I like, like, okay. You know these people where it's like, okay, how do. What's a good example? Well, Jordan, maybe it would feel good for you to go to the gym. Wait, so are you saying I should go to the gym because you think that, like, I'm unhealthy? Or do you think that it's because, like, the way that I look? Or do you think it would just help my mental health? Well, I think, like, overall it would just be good for you. Yeah. I just need you to specifically say that it's not about the way that I look. And it's like, I'm not going to say what you're telling me to say. Yeah, but if you could just say the words, it is not because you're fat. That would really help me. It's not because you're fat, but I do think it would be. But if, when you say but, it makes me feel like maybe you are thinking that. So could you say it again without the butt? It's like, okay, I'll say it without the butt. Well, now I feel like you're just saying it because I'm Asking you to say it. And I get stuck, and you can just leave the room, and I'll stay stuck.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Just to be clear, is this people's favorite or least favorite thing?

[Jordan Jensen]

Least favorite thing. Least favorite thing. I know I can answer that one against that one. Favorite thing.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I like that, though. I like the loop thing. I enjoy it. I enjoy that quality.

[Jordan Jensen]

It's so. I mean, OCD is, like, a bitch, because as soon as you deal with it on one in one arena, it just shows up in a different arena, and you're like, you motherfucker. It's slippery.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It's full ocd.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Like, you talk about it in the special, like, textbook. You're touching your butt 19 times or a certain amount of times while your mom's out or something like that.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. All the seams on my pants had to line up. I used 10 cups of detergent. Half the people in my school were contaminated, and I had to, like, dodge them. I checked the stove for five minutes before I left for here. Took a picture of the stove. Have a picture. Most recent picture. Gonna be of the stove. Ready? Most recent picture. Stove.

[Mike Birbiglia]

She's holding up her phone. Stove.

[Jordan Jensen]

Stove.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Photo. Nice.

[Jordan Jensen]

Take a picture of the stove. Yeah, it's. It's. I'm the most ocd, and I get mad when people are fake ocd when they're like, I just really need things to be. I mean, like, this is, like, causing.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Me a lot of little ocd. Yeah. Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

Go yourself, dude. I mean, having OCD is the word. It's literally when your friend says, do you want to hold my baby? And you go, yeah, but I'm gonna rip your baby's head off. I'm gonna stick a chopstick in your baby's ass. I don't want to, but it can't be trusted.

[Mike Birbiglia]

That's ocd.

[Jordan Jensen]

Oh, my God. When I did the movie.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

Had a full panic attack, full diarrhea, because I thought I was gonna bite Laura Dern.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, wow. Why?

[Jordan Jensen]

Because you're like.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I mean, I know logically why one would think that if you're OC but, like, what is the lot? What was the logic in that moment?

[Jordan Jensen]

I mean, you've. You have children where they go like this. They go, one. And if this happens, and you go, it's not gonna happen. They go, one. And if it does happen, it's that as an adult. So it's like, what if I bit Laura Dern? Everybody would freak out. Everybody start screaming everywhere, right? And then I'm like, that would be really crazy. But I'm not going to do that. Well, what if I did? Do it? Do it. She's sitting right there. Yeah, just do it. No, I'm not going to do it. And then your heart rate, and then you're like, why am I panicking? Oh, because I think I really am going to go through this. No, I'm not going to go. And it's like that.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

And you just don't. I tripped on acid about it. You just don't, like, trust yourself. That is what I learned where you're like. I inherently think that I'm somebody who could become a different person at any moment. And on acid, I realized I was like, I actually don't have a choice. I just am this person, which is nice. Like, if I did reach over to bite Laura Dern and she went, ow. I'd be like, I am so sorry. I had an intrusive thought, and I hope we can laugh about this. Like, the reality wouldn't be that I could rip through her flesh. I would faint before that happens.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Right.

[Jordan Jensen]

You know what I mean? You can't decide who you are. Your genetics and your history decides who you are.

[Mike Birbiglia]

So what are people's favorite thing about you?

[Jordan Jensen]

I'm a very good friend.

[Mike Birbiglia]

That's nice.

[Jordan Jensen]

I am a very loyal friend who will listen to people. I call all my friends. I make sure I check in with every one of them. I spend hours talking on the phone. I show up if they need me to show up. I'm a very. And I've always been a very loyal friend because I've always gotten my. My family as my friends for me.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Sweet.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. Yeah, totally. That's probably the best thing.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I love that.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Do you have relationship deal breakers?

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. Yeah. Video games is a big one for me.

[Mike Birbiglia]

That's huge, though. That's a swath of people.

[Jordan Jensen]

I can't. If you do video games, like, occasionally with one of your buddies, I can do it. But the guys who have the headset on and it's eight hours and it's. They get stuck. I can't also, I realize my biggest deal breaker. I realized this the other day, is when people say that they're bored. I cannot.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I don't like it.

[Jordan Jensen]

I cannot.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It's a pet peeve.

[Jordan Jensen]

It's the worst thing. I'm like. We have literally, like, there are, like, animals outside that are, like, doing. You can go outside and watch a squirrel. Follow one squirrel and you will be you. You will have a day of work. That is interesting. You know what I mean? Like, there's no reason to be bored. And if you're bored, I cannot tolerate you.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Right.

[Jordan Jensen]

If you can't read a book, if you can't go down any wormhole on your own. And I've dated so many dudes like that where they're just like, I just don't know what to do with myself.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Who are you jealous of?

[Jordan Jensen]

Oh, wow. I am jealous of. Wow, that is a crazy question. Real.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Real. Yeah, yeah, real.

[Jordan Jensen]

I am very jealous of Gillis and Glazer.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I am jealous of Shane Gillis and Nikki Glazer.

[Jordan Jensen]

I'm jealous of Nikki because of. I actually think she's incredibly funny. Disgusting. Hard. Hardball.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Great comment.

[Jordan Jensen]

And can pull off femininity, which I'm very jealous of.

[Mike Birbiglia]

And good person.

[Jordan Jensen]

And a good person. Yeah. And I'm jealous of Gillis because the cult of personality thing is so. It's so, like potent.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

Where you're like, I actually just want to keep listening to you because I do feel so familiar. Like you are the friend who was in the basement. That was the funniest friend.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

And I'm really jealous of. I'm really jealous of him being so undeniably likable.

[Mike Birbiglia]

And also seems nice too. I've only met a couple times, but.

[Jordan Jensen]

He'S nice, he's great and he's given me. He's helped me with. Given me advice and stuff when I needed it and. But yeah, there are a lot of comics where I'm like, that is an amazing career. And boy howdy, are they getting a lot of.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

Whereas Gillis, I've seen clips where somebody goes after him and it's like hundreds of people being like, he's my boy. You know what I mean?

[Mike Birbiglia]

Like, and that's what you want.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, she's my girl. Yeah. Totally.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Don't. I'm Jordan.

[Jordan Jensen]

Way more hateable. You know, I mean, I have. Being a woman also, you're just a little hateable. You're just going to go under the gun a lot more. Because man can be any different breed of dude. If a woman varies. If a woman goes into multiple camps.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah, they're look out.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. You have to stay in your lane. Whereas men, you can be different dudes.

[Mike Birbiglia]

On stage, but you're definitely not Elaine. Like, that's what I would say about your special.

[Jordan Jensen]

Right.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You're not on me, but you're not like anybody.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Like, but I do think your trajectory is such that you will have people in the comments being like, that's my girl. The way they are About Shane.

[Jordan Jensen]

It does happen. I just think that there's something about being a big, lovable teddy bear dude that is. I'm very jealous of that. I'm very jealous of just going up there and being like, I don't even know what. I'm just trying some stuff out. Whereas I say it and they're like, that's her belief system. She's a. You know what I mean? I want that.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Foreign. Is brought to you by Helix. You feel that chill in the air. Winter is here. I love my Helix mattress even more during the winter. It's cozy, it's comfortable. I remember when I used to sleep on an air mattress many years ago in my apartment in Queens. Not exactly a comfort at the end of a cold winter day. But now that I have the Helix mattress, it's exactly where I want to be when the temperatures drop, canceling a whole new mattress. Right now. You can still have a cozy winter with a Helix mattress topper. They have so many mattress toppers to choose from. Make your old mattress feel new. Everyone on staff here at Working it Out has a Helix mattress. We are never going back. Go to helixsleep.com burbigs for 27% off site wide. This is exclusive for listeners of Mike Birbigli is working it out. That's helixsleep.com brewbigs for 27% off site wide. Make sure you enter our show name in the post purchase survey so they know we sent you. We appreciate it. Helixsleep.com. Do you have material? You're sort of half. You have half baked stuff that you're thinking, what do you got? Throw it at me.

[Jordan Jensen]

Okay. I don't want to go too dark on this podcast.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I think you're all right.

[Jordan Jensen]

I'm working on. What is this one? Oh, this one bombed the other day. Just about how I. The ice thing and how I think it's crazy that every, like, obese comedian knows jiu jitsu, but we can't. But cops, like, need to full, like, empty around of an AK on a person. You know what I mean? I'm like, why is this, like, why are my buddies able to, like, get my hand into a crimp hole?

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, my God.

[Jordan Jensen]

But every cop is just like, it's crazy.

[Mike Birbiglia]

First of all, great point.

[Jordan Jensen]

It is weird.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Like, actual bonafide. Good point. Oh, right.

[Jordan Jensen]

Like, okay.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Well, yeah, like I said it the.

[Jordan Jensen]

Other day on stage and they were like, what? And I was like, you guys don't have friends that are like, I'm taking muay Thai. I'm like, can't one cop take Muay Thai?

[Mike Birbiglia]

No. I know these cops. My God.

[Jordan Jensen]

I know. They're like premature ejaculators. They're like. You're like, whoa, bro, that's crazy.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, you're going kill.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You're going kill.

[Jordan Jensen]

You're going straight kill.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Just zero to kill.

[Jordan Jensen]

Remove a person's future immediately.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It's. I would make sure to do that again as okay. Because, like, that's a really astute observation. I just think, like, go harder into, like, the specifics of, like, the various holds and things like that.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Because I don't know what you're talking about, but I know that I believe you.

[Jordan Jensen]

Okay. Okay.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You know what I mean?

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe make it specifically about my friends. Like, be like, I have. I know nine.

[Mike Birbiglia]

My friend Bobby can, blah, blah, blah, flip a guy and he's £700.

[Jordan Jensen]

Right, right, right, right.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Like, you.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

This is your job.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It's literally your job.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, yeah. You get paid for this. You're trained.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You're trained.

[Jordan Jensen]

He's doing it as a hobby because he hates his wife. Like, all right, great, great.

[Mike Birbiglia]

What else you got?

[Jordan Jensen]

Oh, this was when I wrote down. This is a cuter one about how, like, if somebody from the past came into the future and saw how much old we're using, how much it would, like, upset them.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

You know what I mean? Like, they'd be like, you don't have to use the typewriter anymore. And we're like, actually, no, it allows me to focus because I can get off the Internet. You know what I mean? Like, or seeing somebody with the handlebar mustache. And we're like, we did that to cover up our disgusting hair lips. We don't need to do that. It's actually quite unhygienic.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Right. It doesn't make sense.

[Jordan Jensen]

Right.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It's not an improvement. It's lateral.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yes. The suspenders. No need. No need.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Suspenders. Yeah. We belt.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, totally.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

That's a cuter one.

[Mike Birbiglia]

That's cute.

[Jordan Jensen]

I want to give you one that's really hard. I'm trying to do one about. This one's dark, so it's not dark, but it's up. So, like, this happens with women where you'll be like. Like, it'll be a group of women and the one. There's one woman that kind of sucks. Right. She's just. She's just kind of sloppy and she's annoying.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Okay.

[Jordan Jensen]

And you'll hear her get the same spiel that you do. About how much you deserve love and the best man. Does that make sense? Like, you hear your friends be like, you deserve a guy that's gonna treat you with. And you're like, well, right. I get that you said, yeah, I deserve that. She has to get along. She does not deserve that level.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Why are we telling her she deserves that? Yeah. Yeah, she doesn't deserve that.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yes. And if you're telling her that, what does that mean about me?

[Mike Birbiglia]

She deserves next to nothing.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. And what, are you lying to me? And how can I trust you?

[Mike Birbiglia]

Right.

[Jordan Jensen]

If I ask you, does this outfit look good and you're telling everybody they look good. I have no judge. I have no gauge.

[Mike Birbiglia]

It always reminds me of, like, when. When people are like, jesus loves everybody. And I'm like, well, he has low standards.

[Jordan Jensen]

He has low standards. And now I can not.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Everybody's great. Yeah. I don't trust Jesus anymore.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, totally. Jesus is an idiot. He's actually an idiot. That is what that means. He's one of those people that's like, dude, I just love everybody. And you can't. Nobody wants that guy around.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Right?

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. And it's a big thing with women right now because they're very much like, every woman deserves a da da. And I'm like, some people don't deserve that.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Right.

[Jordan Jensen]

Some people deserve a fat man who doesn't talk to them. You know what I mean? Like, that. Some people do.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Who doesn't talk to them, you know? I mean, like, I don't know if anyone deserves that.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, they all deserve it.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Precise.

[Jordan Jensen]

Some people suck. Some people. You're like, you deserve no relationship. You deserve about six months of therapy and then maybe we'll talk. But we can't all go in deserving.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Right.

[Jordan Jensen]

That's crazy.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I think the way to make that bit make sense. Not that it doesn't make sense, because I get. I understand what you're saying is like, specifying that a friend of yours said that to you, but then he said it to this other lady.

[Jordan Jensen]

Right.

[Mike Birbiglia]

You know what I mean?

[Jordan Jensen]

Right. Right.

[Mike Birbiglia]

So, like, there's this kind of like, it's. It's more like cinematic, like a scene where you're like, oh, okay. It's that same person who said that advice.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

And I, like, don't trust this person right now.

[Jordan Jensen]

I don't know what I possibly deserve.

[Mike Birbiglia]

No. I'm disoriented. I don't know what I deserve.

[Jordan Jensen]

It's crazy. Yeah. And now I can't ever communicate with that person again because they're not Trustworthy.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah. I mean, I like that.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah. It was because my friend was telling me she was gassing me up, and I was like, I heard you say that same thing to that girl. And she was like, it's different. I was like, no, but you said the same thing, so you're gonna have to either judge it up for me or.

[Mike Birbiglia]

What was the specific thing that she was saying to you?

[Jordan Jensen]

Oh, just like, that I was super attractive and that I need to be with an attractive person who. And I don't need to, like, keep settling and, like, the. You know, where a woman will be like, you're like a. You're so beautiful, and you're so strong and, like. And I was like, I. I just heard you say that to our friend that is literally obese and needs to work on that.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Right. There are rats in our ceiling. And we have these. We had these pest control people come over, and this guy Eric, and he's like, we're gonna put poison in the ceiling. My wife is like, I don't think we want to have poison in our ceiling. And it's this bizarre moment where Eric's looking at me.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Like, what do we do? Yeah, what do we do about her?

[Jordan Jensen]

About this Wylan. About this Wylan. Ho. Do we poison her as well?

[Mike Birbiglia]

And then I had to be like, I am. I also believe we should not have poison in the ceiling. Meanwhile, like, this guy's whole job is to put poison in the ceiling. Like, his reason for being. He's been trained to put poison.

[Jordan Jensen]

That's his job. That's why he's there in the ceiling.

[Mike Birbiglia]

And I'm like, that's. That's. No, we're not. We're end time.

[Jordan Jensen]

And having to break his heart. Like, when he's looking at you and he's like, man to man.

[Mike Birbiglia]

I know. Yeah, yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

And you have to be like, actually.

[Mike Birbiglia]

My wife has a point. Yeah. And then I joke is like, I go, they say in hundreds of years from now, it's gonna be rats and cockroaches. And I can imagine these rats sitting around a table, holding hands, being like, we want to give thanks for the husbands who agreed with their wives not to put poison in the.

[Jordan Jensen]

Totally. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Despite the shame. Despite the shame from handymen.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a. I've been working on a joke, like, the last few months where I'm. Where I'm like, I think in every relationship, there's. You need one person who understands heating and electricity and plumbing, and we don't. Have that?

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

So I think we're gonna need a husband.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

We've been recruiting at local technical colleges. We're going to need to get a third.

[Jordan Jensen]

I like, was talking to my friend. I was like, it just. I'm overwhelmed that I need somebody to like. I just fixed my door and I just like, re. Spackled my. The this, like, leak that happened. I was like, I just need somebody to like, come by and just like cook a couple meals. And my friend goes, oh, you need a wife? And I was like, yeah. And I like described that. I was like, just like, you know, just somebody's going to pick up a little bit. But yeah, I have that. I'm all the dad I have covered. I cannot cook, I cannot clean. I cannot do it. But I will fix anything.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Yeah. Oh, you can fix.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, yeah. I was a contractor.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Oh, because you were you working in construction?

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah, but I totally. Yeah. Having not having that is crazy because I always date dudes and we're like, we both have this.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Right?

[Jordan Jensen]

And I'm like, but we have to eat. And they're like, we're.

[Mike Birbiglia]

We're.

[Jordan Jensen]

Yeah.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Wow. All right. So the last thing we do is working it out for a cause. Is there a non profit that you like to support? And then we contribute to them and then we link to them. Wow. Yeah.

[Jordan Jensen]

The Humane Society.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Humane Society.

[Jordan Jensen]

And I hate people and I only like animals. I'm like an animal. Like, I just. Yeah, I can't. It's the gayest thing about me, but I will weep at any animal video. So, yeah, animals, humane.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Today we will contribute to the Humane Society. We will link to them in the show notes. Jordan, congrats on your special. It's so good. And this was so fun. Thanks for coming over.

[Jordan Jensen]

Thank you for having me. This was great working it out. Cause it's not done. We're working it out because there's no. That's gonna do it.

[Mike Birbiglia]

For another episode of Working it out, you can follow Jordan Jensen on Instagram. Jordan Jensen.

[Jordan Jensen]

Lol.

[Mike Birbiglia]

Stop. That's a great handle. You can watch her special Take Me with you on Netflix. You can catch her on screen in. Is this thing on? In theaters now. Check out birdbigs.com to sign up for the mailing list to be the first to know about my upcoming show and sign up for the text message alerts because I'm doing some small club shows coming up that are not yet announced in Madison, Wisconsin, Philadelphia, Florida, a bunch of other places I'm really excited about and you can watch the full video of this episode on our YouTube channel, Ike Birbiglia. Please subscribe because we're posting more and more videos. Our producers of Working it out are myself, along with Peter Salamon, Joseph Birbiglia, Mabel Lewis and Gary Simon. Sound mix by Ben Cruz supervising engineer Kate Belinsky. Special thanks to Jack Antonoff and Bleachers for their music. Special thanks to my wife, the poet J. Hope Stein, and our daughter Oona, who built the original radio fort made of pillows. As always, thanks most of all to you who are listening. If you enjoy the show, rate us and review us on Apple Podcasts. Almost 200 episodes, all free. No paywall. Check them out. Episode 200 coming up next week. Thanks most of all to you who are listening. Tell your friends. Tell your enemies. Tell the person you're dating who's playing too many video games. That's a red flag according to Jordan Jensen. Just say, hey, look, I think you might be spending too much time with that video game headset on. Why don't we do something as a couple? You can swap out the video game headset for an AirPod and we can both listen to this podcast I enjoy called Mike Birbigli's Working it out, where Mike Birbiglia talks about the creative process with other comedians and creatives. It's better than video games. Thanks everybody. We're working it out. We'll see you next time.