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In the Dumpster Fire Corner, MAGA finally drops the cosplay and admits the Second Amendment bit was performative all along.Then we dig into TikTok’s new U.S. entity and what (if anything) changes now that Oracle, Silver Lake, and friends are in charge. Are the updated terms sketchy, is there a new algorithm, and did anyone else notice the weekend chaos? Then, it’s time for a health check inspired by a NY Times aging test. We took a timed walk, tried to stand up from sitting on the floor with no hands, and balancing on one leg with our eyes closed. Then we got real honest about what was surprisingly harder than expected, where we want to improve, and how we’re thinking about fitness in 2026.

On theme for this week, we've got some healthy recommendations for y'all! Undercover Chocolate Quinoa Crisps (Andrew), Cadense Adaptable Shoes (Laura), and a PSA from Pam about the importance of regular health screenings.

And in this week's installment of After Dark:

We get some part 2 updates about petty family dynamics and learn a new fun way to troll people you have shared digital photo frames with. Plus, how to handle people who insist on commenting negatively about your vacation choices...

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