Mind of a Monster: The Butcher Baker

Episode S6 Ep.7: "They Bleed Like Everyone Else"
Host: Dr. Michelle Ward
Date: February 20, 2024

Overview

This poignant episode focuses on the personal story of Cindy Paulson (whose real name is withheld for privacy), the 17-year-old sex worker who escaped serial killer Robert Hansen in 1983. Dr. Michelle Ward sits with Cindy—now in her late 50s, living under a new identity—to finally share her story in her own words. Through Cindy’s perspective, the episode powerfully confronts the realities faced by Hansen’s victims, the failures and prejudices of law enforcement, and the indomitable spirit of a survivor. The central theme, echoed throughout: “they bleed like everyone else”—a call for compassion for all victims, regardless of background.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Meeting Cindy: A Survivor Speaks (01:59–03:54)

• Dr. Ward travels to meet Cindy, noting the secrecy around her real identity and location.
• Cindy’s story is introduced as central to understanding both the crimes and the failures surrounding the case.
  • Quote: “Her story illuminates the attitudes of the police, the heroes, the antiheroes of this case.” (03:54, Dr. Ward)

2. Cindy’s Childhood: Layers of Trauma (09:59–12:23)

• Cindy describes a chaotic family life, revealing early sexual abuse.
• Discovery that her “sister” was actually her biological mother; feelings of betrayal and outsider status.
  • Quote: “Every family has its secret skeletons, but I guess mine had more than I could live with.” (11:05, Cindy)

3. Into Sex Work at 12: Survival, Exploitation, and Life on the Run (13:02–16:32)

• Cindy recounts running away at age 12, entering sex work, moving through cities, and being manipulated by pimps.
• Portrays the normalization of danger and how pimps profit from young girls.

4. Arrival in Anchorage, Alaska & Life as a Sex Worker (16:32–18:28)

• Alaska’s sex work scene is discussed: high risk, high financial stakes, with Cindy under strict control by her pimp.
• Cindy enjoys some material aspects (furs, jewelry), but speaks honestly about violence and exploitation.
  • Quote: “He got it all … I wasn’t allowed to drink or smoke weed. Sometimes I would get mouthy … but you gotta remember, he thought I was 20-something and I was only 17.” (17:45–18:28, Cindy)

5. The Night with Robert Hansen: Abduction, Rape, and Escape (19:01–23:22)

• Cindy describes the events of her abduction in chilling detail:
  • Hansen, at first appearing harmless (“like somebody’s grandpa”).
  • The visceral terror upon realizing the situation (“dead end sign … my gut hit bottom”).
  • Her calculated mental notes for survival while chained in Hansen’s basement.
  • Escape from Hansen at the airfield, running barefoot and bloodied.
  • Hearing the voices of previous victims urging her to run—a motif repeated from another survivor, Christy Hayes.
    • Quote: “And I’m hearing in my head every one of them voices screaming, ‘Run. Run, bitch, run. It’s like every one of them women were in my head telling me, run, run.” (23:29, Cindy)

6. Aftermath: Police Response and Immediate Impact (24:45–26:57)

• Cindy is rescued by a passerby but fears the police due to her status as a sex worker.
• Officer Greg Baker responds empathetically, but higher-ups are dismissive and distrustful.
  • Quote: “He was a jerk. He didn’t believe me. I was just some … I was lying. He said no matter what I said, he had something to counter it.” (31:25, Cindy, regarding Greg’s superior)

7. Alienation and Continued Danger (32:54–35:24)

• Cindy avoids police, goes on the run with her pimp, and faces repeated arrests.
• Eventually, her relationship with her pimp ends, leaving her isolated and forced to continue working in Anchorage, the very city where Hansen is active and free.

8. Re-invention as “Felicia” and Coping in the Aftermath (35:24–36:50)

• Cindy assumes the name Felicia, starts dancing at Miss Kitty’s, and seeks forgetfulness in alcohol and drugs.
• Hansen stalks her even after her escape, coming into clubs in disguise.

9. The Importance of Detective Glenn Flothi (37:04–39:55)

• Glenn Flothi treats Cindy with compassion, sees her as a child deserving of care, and earns her trust.
  • Quote: “He believed you and nobody else did. It wasn’t like I was a prostitute. He treated me like a human being.” (37:44, Cindy)

10. Path to Justice: Emotional Toll and Confrontation with Hansen (45:07–47:58)

• Cindy is placed in a safe house before Hansen’s trial, but finds it stifling.
• The court confrontation is searing—Cindy describes “the look” Hansen gives her as pure evil.
  • Quote: “If I could have died from that look … just the eyes. And his skin wasn’t even his skin. It was just death.” (46:05, Cindy)
• Despite overwhelming fear, Cindy returns to the courtroom to bear witness as a survivor.

11. Life After Hansen: Ongoing Trauma and Recovery (48:50–53:11)

• Hansen’s sentencing does not free Cindy from fear; she describes decades of nightmares and paranoia.

• Repeated struggle with addiction, eventual entry into recovery after Hansen’s death in 2014.

  • Quote: “When Hansen died, I called my mom, bawling, I’m done, Mom. I need help. I’ve had enough.” (51:50, Cindy)

• Staying sober over eight years, finding genuine happiness with her family and grandchildren, and finally reclaiming her identity beyond her past personas.

12. Thesis and Closing Message: Universal Compassion (55:32–55:58)

• Dr. Ward and Cindy echo the episode’s central message: every victim is a human being deserving of empathy, no matter their walk of life.
  • Quote: “It doesn’t matter if she’s a hooker or stripper or pole dancer or if she’s a bag lady on the street. She’s a human being. If she cuts, she bleeds. She has a heartbeat. She’s somebody’s baby.” (55:32, Cindy)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On early trauma:
  “Every family has its secret skeletons, but I guess mine had more than I could live with.” (11:05, Cindy Paulson)
• On recognizing abuse:
  “…my mother wasn’t my mother and my father wasn’t my father. And here I find out that my sister’s my mother. Why didn’t they tell me? I felt betrayed.” (11:18, Cindy Paulson)
• On the moment of escape:
  “I’m just running down the gravel… all I can, in my mind, all I remember is the blood of my handcuffs. And I’m flagging down the first … white Ford truck. I said, help me. This guy’s trying to kill me.” (23:22–24:45, Cindy Paulson)
• On being dismissed by police:
  “He was a jerk. He didn’t believe me. I was just some … I was lying. He said no matter what I said, he had something to counter it.” (31:25, Cindy Paulson)
• On surviving the trial:
  “If I could have died from that look … just the eyes. And his skin wasn’t even his skin. It was just death.” (46:05, Cindy Paulson)
• Life after trauma and finding happiness:
  “I get to be me.” (53:30, Cindy Paulson)

Important Timestamps

• Meeting Cindy & her background: 01:59–05:32
• Childhood and family trauma: 10:00–12:23
• Entry into sex work, life on the run: 13:02–16:32
• The attack and escape: 19:01–23:22
• Police and aftermath: 26:09–32:54
• Life after Hansen, recovery: 48:50–53:11
• Closing message: 55:32–55:58

Final Thoughts

This episode centers the victim's voice, showing the complex humanity behind headlines and statistics. Cindy Paulson’s testimony powerfully challenges listeners’ empathy, reminding us of the consequences of judgment and the resilience of survivors. Through vivid storytelling, candid admissions, and moments of raw vulnerability, the episode closes with a hopeful vision—life beyond trauma, and the enduring importance of compassion.

“It doesn’t matter … If she cuts, she bleeds. She has a heartbeat. She’s somebody’s baby.” (55:32, Cindy Paulson)