← Daring Forever (Find your Extraordinary)
Daring Forever (Find your Extraordinary)
Five minute magic pt. 66 - Keeping the past in the past
00:10:39
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- [00:01]
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Welcome to five Minute Magic from the Mindful Creative Podcast, a short bonus episode sharing tips and insights from the pages of the book of the same title. Every week, I'll be sharing one or two ideas that can give you an actionable takeaway for your creative process, your work, your business, or just food for thought for the weekend ahead. These episodes share content from the audiobook and you can find the link to the full version in the Show Notes below. Today I'm going to follow up on the episode I published with PJ Richardson just on Monday, and the episode was very good View on how we perceive past how we perceive our experiences from the past, how we can learn from them, how they can create more or less a launchpad for our creativity and a career going forward. Looking back in the past can make us sometimes feel stuck, make us feel like, okay, can I share these experiences? The clue is making peace with what's happened in the past and look forward and actually enjoy the present. Because once upon a time I remember James Hetfield from Metallica using this quote which stuck with me ever since. And the quote goes, the windshield is bigger than the rear view mirror, and that's for a reason. It's not quote by him, but he used it. And in the case of Metallica, you can talk about a famous snare drum on the album that everyone would rather forget, but they keep heading forward. You know, our experiences shape us, but they don't always define us, because what we do in the present moment is much more important.
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Making and recording your progress Although we always want to keep growing and moving forwards, pausing to glance over our shoulder and reflect on how far we've come can be an essential part of that progress, as can keeping a record of that progress in a journal. Journaling is a great way of remembering the highs and lows, the lessons, and the positive and poignant moments of life. Even small notes scribbled at the end of each day can help you in multiple ways. It encourages you to actively reflect on your day. It can help to put things in perspective and perhaps ease the impact of stress. And it's a small but strong habit to build as you learn and grow. Journals are for nobody's eyes but yours. If you don't want them to be. You're not writing a status for all to see and comment on. There's no right way to journal, and it doesn't have to be crammed with positives to be worthwhile. It's there for the good, bad, and the mundane. If there are times when it feels like you're clutching at straws trying to find positives, or you're in a period where it feels like only negative stuff is happening, then don't beat yourself up about it. And most importantly, don't let your journaling habit lapse. Another way of marking your progress is to get yourself a progress buddy. This could be a peer, a mate, a spouse, a sibling, anyone that you trust to be honest and constructive. The aim is to encourage each other and to hold each other accountable where progress is concerned. Again, this doesn't need to be a major event in your life. But if you've got someone who you can regularly check in with, sharing the goods and not so goods of each other's progress, then it can work wonders for both of you. Because there's somebody there who, in a friendly and supportive way, is going to hold you accountable for how you're spending your time and energy. It can encourage your empathy and compassion too. If your body is struggling with something, it's unlikely that you'll want to do anything other than reassure them that everything will be okay. It cannot be overstated that all of this is best done at your own pace. It takes as long as it takes for you. Yes, some people will appear to progress faster than you. They may share pictures of journals filled with elaborate writing and decoration, whereas you secretly scribble a sentence or two into a tattered notebook early evening. But that's okay. This isn't school. You're not going to get marked down for presentation or not writing enough. What matters is nurturing your consistency, your ability to reflect, and your ability to act positively on your reflections. Keeping the past in the past it's helpful to glance over your shoulder and see how far you've come. But as anyone who's changed lanes on a motorway will tell you, that's all you need. A glance backwards and then back to what's in front of you. We can never go back to the past. If we've had times when we've really fucked up, be it in work, relationships or damaging ourselves through unhealthy behaviour and vices, then we can't change it or deny it. But we can own it, learn from it, make amends if need be, and then make peace with it. And if that's all we can possibly do, then that's enough. Ignore anyone who demands. People are forever judged by mistakes that they have held themselves accountable for. It's okay to make mistakes, and it's pointless to keep beating ourselves up over them. That's not progress or growth. That's standing, looking backwards, staring at the past and letting the potential of the future pass you by. You can only heal by moving on. When we do start to become entranced by the past, or even when we think we're totally clear of it, then old habits can start to creep in. Many of the smoker who has successfully quit only to fool themselves that they can have one cigarette to prove that they're no longer addicted. If you've never smoked, that may sound ridiculous, but if you have, then you'll appreciate the warped logic. Get wise to yourself and any old addictive habits you have. Learn to spot when healthy habits are starting to slide, and above all, be honest with yourself about what you're consuming. If you can kid yourself that, say, the hour you spend every day playing Candy Crush Saga is good for you, then that's your loss and nobody else's. Keep coming back to the strategies and actions outlined in this book and review your progress regularly. Celebrate your wins and acknowledge where there's still work to be done. And don't be afraid to make mistakes. It's a fact of life that you will make them and fall on your ass every now and again. But each time you do, as long as you keep doing the work, you'll be able to get up and dust yourself off more quickly than the previous time The Power of Gratitude and Affirmations we may have different ideas about how and why we're here and doing the job that we do, but whatever our thoughts, I believe that we should celebrate our moment in the sun, however long or fleeting it may be. Having gratitude for the big and small things in our lives can have a powerful effect on how we see the world and by extension, how we see ourselves. We can show gratitude in subtle ways. For example, when we're working on our creative business, we can frame it as I get to work on this project, not I have to do this work. There's an element of perception equalling reality, but it does help us to take stock and remember that every day that we're not in a need to work situation, working in a service job that we hate and have no interest in but have to pretend we do, all whilst having to wear a demeaning uniform is a win for us. We get to do the creative work and in our own business we can have a greater say over our present and our future. Sometimes doing the opposite, seeing everything as crap and pointless can be really easy. It can even feel comforting sometimes, especially if that's how you viewed the world for many years. But relentless negativity gives us nothing. And as you start practicing gratitude for the good things in your life, you'll quickly notice when people are excessively negative and self deprecating and it'll become off putting. If you've been the kind to crack nasty jokes at your own or others expense, then you'll soon stop finding that kind of dark cynical humour funny. You'll realize that it comes from a place of insecurity and unhappiness, of seeing the world and everyone in it as a potential threat, not as a source of growth and learning. We can show gratitude in how we talk to ourselves and to others. We can give compliments and encouragements freely. We can also receive them without giving in to the urge to qualify them by saying oh, it's not that good. Anyone could have done it really. We can reply to negative emails positively and constructively. We can use positive affirmations I am, I have, I get to. I choose to to build our self worth. We can also extend this to what we don't say or do in the same way that we can save wasting our time and energy on people who don't want it. We can choose not to get involved in negative online conversations that, to be brutally honest, won't change anyone's mind and about anything and only serve to give us a self righteous hit of dopamine. I'm talking about Twitter ex pylons commenting on outrage, generating clickbait, shaming and judging others rage, posting, arguing with strangers and sharing endless angry political content. You don't have to become passive, unrealistically happy or ignorant to what's going on in the world. But putting ceaseless negative energy out there will likely only bring you more negative energy. It's a basic algorithm and it won't fill your cup.