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[00:00]
A
Before we get started, I wanted to let you in on a little secret. What you're about to hear is only part of the conversation. Every week, we keep talking over on Patreon, where you'll find exclusive bonus episodes, behind the scenes footage after show, conversations with my guests, and personal stories from my life that I don't share anywhere else. If you love Misunderstood, Patreon is where you'll get the full experience. Just head on over to patreon.com/understood with Rachel Ukatel or click the link in the show notes. I'd love to have you join us. Everyone is talking about your facelift.
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B
I almost canceled four times. I almost backed out the morning of. While we're prepping me on the operating table.
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A
Tell me how you found out about Real Housewives.
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B
I did not in a million years think I was going to get it because I think one of the other women had a private plane. And I'm like, I beat out the chick with a private plane.
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A
You are a standout cast member.
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B
You are psychotic.
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A
Jesus Jugs.
[00:59]
B
You're psychotic. Jesus Jugs was all just the Jesus Jug Season 7. I quit and they asked me back, begged me back, wanted me back, whatever, talked me into it, and then they fired me.
[01:10]
A
How did it feel like blowing up and being such a public relationship?
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B
It really stunk. We tried so hard. People at our yacht club were taking pictures and sending it to, like, tmz.
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A
I think the misconception was that there was an overlap or that you had been friends with Shannon.
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B
No, no.
[01:26]
A
No one else listening to my podcast know this, but I'm going to say it now. I am.
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B
Don't back.
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A
Alexis, thank you so much for joining me today on Misunderstood.
[02:06]
B
Hi. So nice to meet you finally.
[02:08]
A
I know. You look absolutely amazing.
[02:11]
B
Thank you.
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A
So everyone is talking about your facelift. You know why now? Like, you look, by the way, you look amazing. You looked amazing before. Is that what everybody says, though?
[02:22]
B
Yeah. But I wonder if that's just cliche and everybody's supposed to say that. I mean, are they going to really say, wow, you really looked crappy before. Thank God you did that. I mean, I don't know if they're going to go, right.
[02:30]
A
Well, can you see a difference?
[02:32]
B
Oh, my gosh, yes. And it's. For me, it's a lot of. You know, because we pick ourselves apart. Right, Rachel, we're like, we're our worst critics, and we see things that other people probably would never notice. But it started with my chin. I would just. Every picture I was taking. I'm 49, I'm turning 50 in six months. And two of my closest friends had it done when they were 49, and they're now 60 and had their second one done between 60 and 65. And both of them made them just perk up. Like, what this one did for me, and I'm like, I'm going to follow in their footsteps because I'm unhappy with my neck.
[03:03]
A
Right.
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B
And the photos were driving me crazy. And if I started taking weird photos and I wouldn't smile all the way, and it was just, you know, I'm like, just get it done, you know?
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A
Right.
[03:12]
B
So, yeah, it's. And the point is, like, the doctor said he had to. We had to do quite a few consultations because my husband was very against it. Like, he just did not want me to do it. My kids were very against it. And so in the consults, the one with my husband that was like two hours long, he was asking so many questions. He, you know, the doctor made it very clear, like, you want to do it now? She has a little bit of room where we can just make her look less tired, a little happier, like, she got a good night's sleep. And no one. If she didn't want to talk about it in the press, no one would know. They would just say, wow, she's on some good vitamins, or, you know, got a new haircut. That's what a lot of people.
[03:51]
A
Her Peptides are working.
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B
Yeah. Yeah, I'm not on any yet, so I'll let you know when that happens. Right. Are you Peptides?
[03:59]
A
I am. I just. I started them, like, six months ago, and I don't know how I feel about them because I've kind of changed them. I don't necessarily believe in the NAD or whatever that stuff is, but there are certain ones that I do believe in only because during the summer I was away, we took a trip on our boat for, like, three weeks, and I didn't work out once, and I actually came off the boat looking more fit, and I really think it was because of the Peptides. So there. There are some certain ones that I feel like, build muscle, which for me, like, I just turned 51 in January, so I'll be 52. Thank you. And so I do feel like that's helped because for me, like, losing muscle as you get older is what my issue is. You know, even no matter how much I go to the gym, and I'm not like a huge gym rat, but, like, I would like to feel fit because I Think that makes you look younger, you know?
[04:46]
B
Right. So.
[04:48]
A
But I would love to hear from you about your journey, because I know so many people follow that algorithm. As. As I was saying earlier on Instagram about facelifts, like, it's what everyone's talking about right now. So what do people not understand about the prep for the facelift? Because is there some fear in there for you? Like, what did. What did you do to prep for this to make sure you were in the right headspace to just go on this journey?
[05:12]
B
It was. It was a lot, you know, and I've had boob, you know, boob jobs, and everyone knows about that. Jesus does and everything. And so. But for my face, I'm telling you, it was a complete different animal. Like, I almost changed, you know, canceled four times. I had to go to four consults. I almost, you know, backed out the morning of while we're prepping me on the operating table. And, you know, the doctor made me feel very comfortable and just did. Did a couple of things right before surgery that put my mind at ease about the whole deal, because he could tell I was nervous. And they don't want you nervous and having high blood pressure or anything when you're getting ready to go under.
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A
Right.
[05:50]
B
And we prayed together and all that. But it was a journey because of the fact that I'm like, what if it does? It's your face. You can't just cover it up with a shirt. If you get a botched job there, you can put a shirt on and no one knows except your husband, you know? Right. Yeah. This was a whole different animal. But I'm so glad I did it. It took a lot. It took me making phone calls to the two girls. One of them is Tamara Judge from O.C. she done at 49, I think was her first one. And then. And then my best friend, another girl, Sean, had hers done at 49. So I just kept calling them and saying, like, am I stupid? Should I do it, or am I really going to be happy? Like, am I going to make a mistake? And they were just like, all, go for it. Just go for it. Yes. You're going to be so much happier. And I am. I mean, I do look like. I just. I mean, did you use all my before and afters? Right?
[06:35]
A
Yeah. What.
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B
What do you think? For real?
[06:37]
A
I think that you look. First of all, it doesn't look like you had a facelift, which I think is the best part of it. It looks like you're wearing makeup almost. You know what I mean? It Looks like you have a glow. It looks like you were rested. It looks like something changed in you. So it looks like a better version of you, but it doesn't look like a different version of you, which I'm assuming is what you wanted. Because if you looked any different, I think that's when the problem starts. And that's probably what the nervousness was beforehand.
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B
Yes. You nailed it. Yeah. And that's what the nervousness of my kids were like. My son said to me right before, it was like two days before, and we're in the kitchen together and he just goes, mom, what can I do to talk you out of this? Because, you know, you're prepping, you're not. You're changing your diet and you're getting ready to go under and all that. So it's like, you know, not drinking, like just doing all the things you have to do post op or pre op. And I just said, sweetie, you can't. There's nothing you can do to change my mind. I'm going. You know, you're not going to. You're not going to be disappointed, I promise. And I'm sure they were nervous because they're like, oh, gosh, what's mom going to come out looking like? Because you do see, you do see a lot of jobs that are not good.
[07:38]
A
Right, Right. And a friend of mine. A friend of mine went to Turkey and got hers done. And you know, because I've seen a lot of stuff online how in Turkey it looks a lot better and there's no. There's no incisions. Her process was not, as you see online, though, because it took her. She did it before my wedding. I got married New Year's Eve, and she did it in. In. Thank you. And you too. She did it, I think, in October, I want to say. And by her wedding, she still couldn't feel her face. She still did not look even kind of. And how many weeks was that out?
[08:12]
B
How many weeks post op was that?
[08:14]
A
So post op, let's see, for her it was. I'm trying to do the math. October, November, December. So three months.
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B
Oh, wow. Okay.
[08:22]
A
And, you know, I feel like a lot of people can kind of bounce back within a couple weeks or at least be seen. And for her, she really didn't want to be seen. So she started doing things like different lasers and different fillers on top of it to fix it. Anyways, now here we are, like almost a year later, and she looks amazing. But. But so in the Turkish stuff that you see online, I Think is a much different version than what you see in America, because. Did you do the CO2 thing on top of it?
[08:48]
B
I did, and I wish it was my fault. I. First of all, before I talk about the CO2, I wanted to comment on my facelift. I was on a red carpet a week or two weeks after, and no one knew. I didn't talk about it, but I was. I was in the public eye two weeks after my facelift. And so, you know, or maybe it was. Oh, I think I'm talking to. I think it was four. I think it was four. Because the swelling was mostly gone. Yeah, it was four weeks out, so. So I. And I was numb for three. I'm still a little bit numb on my left, but not on my right. Yeah. But it's coming. And now we're. I'm four months out right now, so I feel for your friend because I. And I don't know if doing all the lasers and other things is a good idea when you're still healing from a process, but if she looks good now, then good, good job, you know? Yeah. But it is a definitely different process because in four weeks, I'm camera ready. It's like, yeah, that's a lot longer, right, to go through the CO2. I was very nervous about it, and I told the doctor the day before, please go light on the CO2. Don't do the third step of it, this and that. And now I went back to him and I said, I messed up. I should have listened to you. I should have done the full CO2 and just gone through with it. It did help a lot, but my end result from the CO2 would have been better if I would have not been a chicken, you know.
[10:05]
A
Did you do it at the same time, the facelift?
[10:07]
B
Yes. It's painful that. The CO2 is actually probably more painful than the facelift itself. Like, I don't think anyone can do that without being under, like, getting that laser because it's so intense. And I had to wear ice packs for probably the first 48 hours. I was constantly. We just had, you know, different ice packs. They said to refrigerate some washcloths with water that did not touch it at all. So I would, you know, we have rotation and be like, kidda, bring me a new pa. You know, new. New ice packs. And so she take the old ones and put them back in the freezer. Bring me another round. And while those were freezing, we had a third pair. It was just a constant. Like, couldn't take it off.
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A
Right. So for people listening that want to do this, what are your suggestions for finding the right doctor?
[10:48]
B
Oh, I mean, looking at my before and afters, I would only go to Dr. Lakey. But, you know, I think that you do have to do research, and I don't think you can. I would go with someone I would, you know, like me. Now you know who I've went to. You've seen the before and afters. Make sure you go to someone that you have seen his actual work done.
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A
Right.
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B
You've heard the journey, you've heard how he treats his patients, all of that. Or she. I don't. You know, whatever. Whatever the doctor is. But that would be my number one. You know, don't just call up whoever or go with the cheapest one or go with the one closest to you. Actually take the time and research it.
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A
Right.
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B
You know?
[11:26]
A
Right. 100%. Talk about recovery, because I feel like I see online all the time the misconceptions about recovery and how hard it actually is. So you're saying that it wasn't painful. I hear you saying, but the only part that was most painful was the CO2. But waking up, how did you feel?
[11:43]
B
Oh, waking up. I was cursing and said. I think they said my first words were, what the F did I do to myself? I think that was my first words to the whole staff. And I'm waking up, and I was in massive pain because my surgery was seven hours. My arms. Because they had me. I think they had hyperextended my arms. Arms for so long. I needed a dose of morphine. Right. When I woke up, I was, like, crying. My blood pressure spiked. My pain level. They could tell I was over a 10. I was just. Everything was hurting. So they. They got me under some more meds right away. And then they said that when they took me to my husband, they were like, sorry, we're bringing you grumpy legs.
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A
Oh, my gosh.
[12:27]
B
And so he just laughed and was like, oh, goodness. Okay. But I. Honestly, that night, I was. I was pretty good on. And I did take pain meds for my boobs, and I didn't take pain meds other than first dose, but I. But then I. This one I took for. For two full days. And it wasn't that my. My facelift was painful, but the CO2 just outweighed it. And then I refused to keep taking the pain meds because I'm like, if I get up and start working, like, doing stuff around the house, because you're not supposed to do anything for, like, A week. Right. And I thought if I, if I get up and start doing stuff because I'm feeling good from the pain meds, I'm going to burst something or do. I just was worried. I went off the pain meds. I was at like a level probably six or seven laying in bed, just tylenoling it. And yeah, it was, it was painful, but I went through it and got, you know, slept a lot of it. Um, and then by week one, you don't really. It's. It's really the first week, week one after, you know, you still have the cast off. Then you go get your cast off on, on day seven. And then it's, it's. You're not really. It's. It's pretty easy.
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A
What was your. The first time you looked in the mirror?
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B
Well, I looked in the mirror in the car when I'm still kind of loopy, you know, because we're driving home and I pull the thing down and I'm just like, what did I do? You know, like, oh my gosh, Don, I think I made a mistake. And he's like, he rides the roller coaster so well. You know, he's just holding my hand. He's like, sweetie, you're fine. You're gonna be fine. It's all comical now, but yeah. And I, then I started seeing. The best part is week one and week two I was like taking selfies because I journaled the whole thing. I'm gonna, I'm gonna do another post where it shows week one, week two, and then the weekly one and I'm gon do some behind the scenes of me videoing in bed and stuff like that. Because I do think it's important for people to see and hear the journey of what it's like. Yeah. And then. But anyways, you know, John just rode the waves and was like, oh. But then week one and two, I was like, oh my gosh, you could totally see it already coming to fruition of what it was going to look like, you know. But then by, by week eight, when I did my before and afters, I was just like, oh my gosh, this is incredible.
[14:31]
A
So. And I've also read that like on day three or four, people have sort of a psychot. Not psychotic, but a little bit of a mental breakdown about what did I do I look worse than I did before? Because that's when the swelling really comes to fruition. Can you talk about that? Those couple days?
[14:49]
B
Oh, it was the worst. Yeah. That's when I was doing the whole, you Know I was. John was having to ride the wave with me because I really just hibernated in my room and the kids were scared of me, and friends would come over and I could tell they were scared of me. So I'd be like, okay, no more visitors. Like, we're just gonna. It's just John and I in this together. But day three and four, I was still probably pulling in and going, what did I do to myself? Why did you let me do this? You were supposed to protect me and tell me no. And he's like, I did tell you no.
[15:15]
A
Right? Right. I love that you. That you are able to show that you came out of it and that it's all normal. And so, you know. You know this because we talked about it before we got on air. No one else listening to my podcast know this, but I'm going to say it now. I am getting a facelift in two weeks. I'm traveling to New York City. I live in Palm beach now to do it. And I love being able to talk to you about it because it makes me feel better because I'm going through all those same up and down things, like, I shouldn't do it. My husband doesn't think I should do it. My daughter, I don't even think she really knows I'm doing it because I haven't really come to terms with telling her yet. And then.
[15:50]
B
How old is she?
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A
She's 14.
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B
Oh, yeah.
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A
And when I talk to people about it, they're like, why would you do that? You're, you know, you're too young for that. You don't look like you need it. But like you said before, I see all that. I look in the mirror and I see everything. So here I am talking to you. And it's funny because I went and got all my stuff dissolved, like, three days ago, and I'm already. Before we started filming, I started crying because I'm so conscious of what I look like now because I've dissolved half my face. And it's so terrible to me because I have to now go through the next two weeks of looking like somebody that I don't know and then the process of, like, rebuilding it, but I'm doing it. I wanted to dissolve everything so that I could start fresh, but it's really uncomfortable for me because it's even worse than, you know.
[16:36]
B
Yeah. No one. No one notices that you dissolved anything. By the way, you look absolutely stunning. But I know that you feel it and you see it because that's what we know ourselves. So well, because we look at ourselves every day. But yeah, you. You going to New York is fascinating to me because it's like, are you going to stay there the whole week? The whole first week, then to get your cast off and then fly home?
[16:56]
A
Yeah. So basically I'm staying for 10 days and then I can stay longer, but I'm, you know, I'm going to a very well known surgeon who's done a bunch of people who you and I probably both know. And so I'm familiar with his work, which is why I picked him. A mutual friend introduced us and he seems amazing and I feel very comfortable with him. So he gave me his hotel, which is a hotel. We all know that my biggest fear is being in this hotel and running into people. Like I'm already like packing the scarves and the big sunglasses and making sure I have a room that I feel comfortable in. I'm not letting my husband come with me. Me actually, so. I know. So I'm gonna go two days before you. No one. So I.
[17:38]
B
A nurse?
[17:39]
A
Yeah, I hired a nurse.
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B
Okay.
[17:40]
A
Okay.
[17:41]
B
You gotta have somebody there beside you.
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A
Yeah. So I hired a nurse, she's gonna pick me up at the, at the surgical center, whatever it is, and apparently my surgery will be like six hours and she'll pick me up at like six o' clock at night, bring me to the hotel, stay for 24 hours or I guess they go in 12 hour shifts and I have one for like two days basically. And then I'm from New York, I lived in New York forever. So I have a bunch of friends that are there that can come take care of me. And the nice thing about this doctor is he comes to the hotel room every day so I don't have to go to the office. Yeah. I don't have to deal with that. But I am apparently getting drains. Did you have drains?
[18:15]
B
Yes, they are. Oh, no, no, I did not.
[18:18]
A
Okay.
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B
I was thinking about my. Cause I had my reconstructive on my tatas right before, like six months before, and I had to have drains. I did. Not on my face, but maybe you're doing a little bit than I did. He only did 3 millimeters on me. Did your doctor quote you what he thought he would take?
[18:34]
A
No, not at all. I don't even know what that means, so I'll. I'll have to hear about that.
[18:38]
B
Very minimal. Basically, instead of being like that, he just did a very minimal amount.
[18:44]
A
Yeah, you do.
[18:45]
B
In the CO2.
[18:46]
A
So that's why I was asking you all those questions. Because I'm wondering if I should. I'm wondering if it's too painful. And I've seen what it looks like on people when you come out, and it's even worse than what your face looks like from the facelift.
[18:56]
B
But I.
[18:56]
A
Yes, I want to do it now, especially hearing from you.
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B
Well, he said, and the way my doctor convinced me, because I did back out of it. Like, you know, I felt so bad for my poor. My doctor was amazing to even deal with me. But I backed out of it two days before when I went up for my. My pre op with him at his office. And I go, you know, I'm going to take the CO2. I don't want to do it now. And he's like, oh, why? And he was, like, seriously shocked. Like, like, okay, I don't understand. He's like, you know, that's the cherry on the cake. That's the one thing that's going to, like, your face is going to look great, but this is going to take you to the next level. It's going to elevate. And then, lo and behold, a patient walked in that had just gotten the whole thing, everything I was doing to a T done. And she hurt. Like, we somehow she kind of overheard or something, and she comes over and she's just like, I don't know what you're talking about. You need to do CO2. Like, she's like, it's painful, yes, but it is going to change your skin. Like, your skin is going to look so much better. And I just thought, okay. And the doctor was so good about my. Dr. Lakey was so good about saying, you know what? You don't have to do it. He's like, you need to be comfortable. I don't you doing anything you're not comfortable with. But he's like, I really. If it was my family member, I would push you to do it because you're going to go be under already and. And you might as well just knock it all out. You know, you're already going to be recovering. And so, you know, I just. I'm so thankful I did. I really think if you're already under, you should. You should. And I did. From my chest. I did all my. Like this, you know, your decolletage and my face.
[20:15]
A
Your face looks like it has no freckles. Obviously, I can't see your chest, but it. That's for me, too. I've been a sun goddess forever.
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B
Yeah. We open. Yeah. So we. We are voters.
[20:24]
A
Yeah.
[20:24]
B
You know, you. So you just Said that about your. But being on your boat, so. Well, you're going to have to stay out of the sun now, though. Says you know that, right?
[20:31]
A
I do know that. I do know that. And I guess if I can look and have your skin, I guess it's. It's worth it. So. I know that. I know that. What you have to do after you get the CO2, for sure, for you.
[20:42]
B
Since you said you're going to New York and I don't know. Why aren't you letting your husband go? First of all, because I'm.
[20:47]
A
I don't want him to go through that with me. Like, listen, just like you, I've had the boobs done a couple of times. I could see the reconstruction, all that stuff. To me, that kind of surgery is super simple. I worry for him that he'll, like, he would never say it. He'd be like, oh, I'm here. You're good. Don't worry, you're still beautiful. I don't really want him to see that version of me for at least like six days. So he might come, like for that second weekend that I'm there or whatever.
[21:12]
B
So you're staying two full weeks? You're staying two full weeks?
[21:14]
A
Yeah, I think I'm going to stay like, I go. I go in on a Thursday and I'm allowed to basically go home the following Monday. So, you know, that's how long I'm going to stay. Well, no, that's only five days following the following. So, like.
[21:28]
B
Yeah, okay. Yeah. So. And I think you said you hired the nurse for two days. I think that's good. I think all you need is a full, full first two days is when I really needed a friend or John to be by my side. And I did not want to put that on my children, you know. And seeing my friend's reaction, I was like, okay, I should have hired a nurse probably, but, you know, I think that's. You'll be fine.
[21:49]
A
No, I'm excited.
[21:50]
B
All right.
[21:50]
A
Well, anyways, thank you so much for telling me all about that.
[21:52]
B
Don't back out. Don't allow that to creep into you and make the phone call to your doctor like I did, saying you're canceling your surgery. Yeah.
[21:58]
A
No. And it's funny because my fear is now so different than it was when I was doing my boobs or anything else. Right. And I wonder if it's because I have a 14 year old. I wonder if it's. Cause I just got married and I don't want like everything in My life is so good, and all of a sudden choosing to go into surgery seems reckless almost, which I've never thought like that before, which is a very strange thing to think. And then also on top of that, that it's my face, right?
[22:22]
B
So that's what it is. It's not because of everything else you're saying. It's because you can't cover this up. Now if, let's say you don't like how much he took or if he didn't take enough or if, you know, I don't know, it's just like all those thoughts come in because I'm always like, I can just cover that up. That's why this never made me nervous. It's like, even swimsuit, just cover it. Wear a one piece. I don't know. But this is, this is like what everyone sees. We're both on camera, so it's like you're kind of in trouble if you have a bad job done.
[22:48]
A
Right?
[22:48]
B
But like, said, you asked me what the most important thing telling a woman going in for a facelift. You said you went to a. You chose this New York doctor because you know several people that have used him. That is the number one tip because you, you then have seen his work and you have people that have told you from their mouth and you've seen the befores and afters. That's the number one tip for finding a doctor.
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A
And I would say, too, not just to look at people online in their before and afters. Like, you obviously saw people in person. I'm sure I have seen people in person. And when I look at them and I'm like, wow, you look unbelievable. You look legitimately 10 to 15 years younger, if not more than that. And the, the, the age that they're like these people that are 65 and look so young and their skin looks amazing, and it's not a filter. And, you know, so many things online can be altered. So that, that was my, you know, the, the thing that tipped the scale for me for sure.
[23:39]
B
Ben, good job.
[23:41]
A
Yeah. So, all right, let's go back to who you are, because I know a lot of people interview you about the housewives and about your wedding and about all this. And I want to get into that, but I really, you know, I don't know that much about you before you became famous. And I really think that people would be somewhat interested in that, people that listen to my show. So can you talk about, like, where you came from, what kind of family you grew up in? I know you're a very religious person. So how you got into religion, all that stuff.
[24:06]
B
Wow. That's how much time you got. I mean, I'm 49, so no. But I'm a Missouri girl, so Midwestern girl, grew up in a town of 18,000 people. Hannibal, Missouri, which is the Mark Twain town. My best friend from 2 years old from Hannibal is still my best friend now. So we've gone through high school, college weddings, married, you know, marriage. Two marriages each at least. I mean, like, we've done it all together. She so that's amazing. It's just a very small town feel. But I knew in. I nannied for a couple that were. They started babysitting them, obviously, in Hannibal. And then they moved out to California. And then they flew me out to nanny for them for the summer because I'd been their babysitter in Hannibal. And I was like, I think I was 16. And I came back from there and I said to my mom, I am moving to California. I am not being here much longer. As soon as I get out of college, this girl's out of town. And so I did that. I actually was married to my college sweetheart at the time, for a year. Only a year. So that was my first marriage. And we applied right after high school or college. I' sorry. We both applied to go to one of the coasts, either New York or west coast, you know, California. And then we said, whoever got the better job offer, that's where we'll go. Well, he was a computer engineer and got a really good job offer to nanuet New York. So it was right by Jersey. So we moved there. I hated living in New York. I love visiting New York. Hated living there. And so then he applied to transfer to California because he knew that's where my heart and soul was. And that that's kind of what happened. And I had a marketing degree. I was working for Sprint at the time in Hannibal because I knew the cell phone service. I knew the marketing manager at Sprint, and so she had me come on as a salesperson, and she's like, I will move you up. You know, I'll get you into the marketing department. Which was a dream. It was like, oh, my gosh, that'd be amazing. And then once I was in the cell phone industry, I decided, you know, by the time we moved to California, I just told my ex, or he's now my ex, but my first husband, Jeff is his name. I just said, I'm not happy. I want a new job. I want to look. And he goes, then do it like just do it then. Cause he was making really good money at the time for a new starter salary. So then I applied at this little gym that was a private owned gym called the Wave Health and Fitness center in Poway, California, and applied for the marketing manager at that gym. Got the job. They said I was way overqualified, but I got the job and ended up becoming like the gym manager right away. Like within first six months I had my certification to be a trainer. I was managing the health club and I was running the marketing department. So it was, it was just. I had like 72 employees, I think, and I was having to hire and fire people and that was scary and it was hard. But I loved my job. I mean, I loved it. And then I divorced him. And then I met my second husband, the father of my children, pretty soon after that and he, you know, we got married and had babies pretty fast. Yeah.
[27:02]
A
And where did religion come in?
[27:05]
B
I think I was probably my, I mean my family all like goes to church. They were kind of, you know, like my grandparents and we were always kind of the go to church on Easter Sunday and go to church on Christmas Eve and you know, that kind of thing. And I always wanted to go more. I don't know where it came. It was my relationship with God, but I always just wanted to go more. So I would ask my mom from like 12 years old on. I couldn't. Even younger than that, probably eight. You know, I wanted the donut. I'm not gonna lie, I was the kid that wanted the donut. When you go to the church and you know, they serve the orange juice and donuts back then, before the church started. But I also would just beg her every Sunday. I'd be like, mom, is today a day we can go? And then if she couldn't take me, I'd call my friends and ask if one of parents could take me. And then I got to college and I found a little, you know, startup church there that I would go to on my own. And you know, so I. It's always just been a major part of my life and I've always had a very strong connection with God or, you know, whatever person, you know, I don't know what your faith is, but you know, always a strong connection.
[28:04]
A
A connection. It's funny that you say that because when I was little my mom sort of forced me to go. I grew up in, I was born in Alaska, in Anchorage, Alaska and my parents got divorced. And then I, I moved to New York City with my mother when I was about 5, and she forced me to go to Brick Church. She forced me to sing in the choir, and I hated it. And it was so uncomfortable. And, you know, I loved singing. So they gave me solos. So I went because I thought that was fun and interesting to me. But to hear the way that they did the sermons was too much for me. It was a little bit more. You know, it wasn't like, as progressive as today where they make. You know, there's the music, though.
[28:39]
B
Cause Catholic is very.
[28:40]
A
It was Presbyterian, but it was just very, very old school, I guess. And now listen, I am person that then grew up and we would only go on Easter or Christmas. And I actually loved that. I thought it was really fun. And, you know, family. It was something to do with your family. And I looked forward to it. And now we live across the street from a huge church, which is like one of those mega churches. And I actually. So we don't go often, but I will say, when we go, I'm the first one that walks in. I'm like, this is crazy. And at the end, I'm like, Jesus. You know, like, I'm so into it. And. And I actually do. Have you ever heard of Hillsong?
[29:17]
B
Yes.
[29:18]
A
Okay. So. Okay, some people. And so I went once because I was working with them to like, donate backpacks when I owned a store years ago. And so they brought me through the back and I went through the green room, and I'm meeting all these celebrities in there, and they put me in the front row so I can see what they do. And I'm like, this is the best looking group, group of people I have ever seen. Where are all these people coming from? And their hands are up and they're screaming. The guy I was with, I was with a friend of mine and her husband, he's tallying up how much he thinks they're making. He's like, this is insane. This is crazy. By the end, we walked in, totally skeptical. By the end, we had our hands up. We're singing all the songs. We're like, in Jesus name. Like, I get it. I get that it becomes a part of your life.
[30:02]
B
You feel the spirit when you're in
[30:03]
A
There, though, don't 100%.
[30:05]
B
Like, I'll get a chill or a goosebump when I'm in there, because I'm like, okay, Father, I feel you. Like, I know I can tell you're real because you're his.
[30:12]
A
His.
[30:13]
B
His spirit is there in that building when you come. I mean, some people, you know, you can do this all at home, too. And there's times when. A lot of times when John and I just, you know, Skype in on to church, from. To our. Our little church. We have. We love our little church, but Skype in and just watch it from Sunday from home because we've got too much to go on or too. You know, whatever. But. And you can fill it there. But when you're in the house of the Lord.
[30:32]
A
Yeah.
[30:32]
B
You feel it. There's no denying that he doesn't come in and touch your heart and soul and say, I'm here.
[30:39]
A
I agree. And there's something to be said for pastors that really tell a good story, because when I was younger, it wasn't as good and you couldn't follow along, but sometimes.
[30:46]
B
Or boring. It was boring.
[30:48]
A
Boring. But now I'll be flipping through the channels, and I swear to God, on the. On a Sunday, I will stop at Joel Olsteen and I'll, like, listen. And I'm like, what? This guy has.
[30:57]
B
He's not amazing.
[30:58]
A
He's amazing.
[31:00]
B
So my church that my children grew up in, I'm not going to name the church we go to now. I love them, but I, you know, but I grew up with my children. We went to Free Chapel, which is just Jensen Franklin's church. He's got him, you know, a huge one in Georgia. I think it's 10,000 congregation in Georgia. And then he's got the one here. Really blew up when we were. The decade we were going. Very good friends of them, love them to death. He's now pastoring for Trump. He's like, Trump's. He's in all the photos of. I'm like, oh, my God. My pastor just went from here to pastoring the president of the United States.
[31:32]
A
That.
[31:32]
B
Not many people can say that, right? But he was a lot like Joel. He kept humor in it. He. You never wanted you. You were like, on the edge of your seat, laughing, all, like, waiting for the end of it. And he'd still get the word in there. And so I agree. I will listen to Joel Osteen, too. He is very amazing.
[31:48]
A
Yeah, totally. So tell me how you found out about Real Housewives in general, or did you watch the show and how did. How did they contact you or how'd you get on?
[31:58]
B
It is such a funny story. And it's so different than what they do now. You know, they have lines of 5,000 women applying to be on net. This was not how it was on season five. I got on on season five. So I would have been. I would have. What happened is I'm friends with Gina Q. Which we should say a prayer for her. She's fighting cancer right now, bless her soul. But she was a friend of mine. And we went to the premiere for the original five with Vicki, you know, Lori, her. Joe de la Rosa. So it was at this place called Tentation. So we were at that premiere, and then I would always just. Gina and I would see each other at Mastro's or at a charity event or doing real est buying, you know, all those ways. And she comes up to me at Mastro's one night. It was the end of season four. And at that point, casting always said, do you have a friend or someone you want to bring on? And she said my name. And so she gave him my name. And she's like, hope you don't mind, but they'll be calling you. And I'm like, gina, I have three little rugrats I do not want to get on a TV show. You know, I'm like, I don't want to. Sure enough, it was like, the next day. I'm not kidding. The next day they called, and then you had to. You know, that was your first meeting. Just a phone call. It was probably 45 minutes.
[33:07]
A
Minutes.
[33:07]
B
Then they send you. If they're interested in you. They send you this huge questionnaire. I'm talking. It was like, 700 questions, okay? They want to know how serious you are. And I'm sitting there filling it out with kids crawling around, and, mommy, mommy. And I'm just like, oh, my gosh, I really want to do this. And so I filled that out, and then I get the next phone call. This was the process. It was before. It is not this. From what I hear now, it is nothing like this now. Yeah. Then I get the phone call, okay, we want to come tape at your house. So then they came to my house and wanted to just do an interview with just me and follow me around a little bit without my husband then, which was. Jim is my husband at the time, my baby. And then they want to come back again and film again. And now with Jim and the whole family and the whole dynamic. And at that point is, you know, and then I had to meet a couple of the other producers off camera at, like, restaurants and stuff, the higher ups. And then after all those meetings, you know, they're like, you're in the top three. And then, you know, I did not in a million years think I was gonna get it. Like, I don't have you Know, I'm a mom and I'm just kind of boring. I think they liked the Christianity, you know, of it, but. Yeah. And then they just called and said, well, you got it. And I was like, wow, okay. Because I think one of the other women had a private plane. And I'm like, I beat out the chick with a private plane because we didn't have a. We had nice houses, but we did not have a private jet. Right? Yeah. So it was just, it was interesting.
[34:23]
A
So did you have a job at the time or were you a mom at that point?
[34:27]
B
I was a full time mom. I mean, basically I quit my career when I met Jim because we had decided that I was going to be. This was just our. The way we wanted to run our family. I wanted to be the stay at home full time mom and be on every committee at the school, be at their classes room mom for everybody. Like, I wanted that job to be my job. And it was for 14 years. But then once I got the show, I did start dress lines in other companies, you know, and businesses too. So. Yeah. But when I got the job, the original first year, I was just a stay at home mom.
[34:58]
A
So when you got the job, were you like, this is so exciting. I'm gonna be famous. Let me think about what I'm gonna do with this. And then you decided on the career path or were you, you know, were you and Jim, like, I don't know how this is gonna change our lives, but this will just be a fun new journey. Like, what, what was your mindset going into it?
[35:14]
B
More. More the second. I was very naive to the. I. I wasn't sitting there thinking, oh, I'm gonna be famous. Because back then it wasn't as big, it wasn't as big of a hit as it, you know, it became a hit by, you know, five. I mean, I guess it was a kind of a hit, but I think, I think around season four or three, maybe three, when Tamara got on is when it really started to kind of take off. But I didn't really think, oh, I'm gonna be famous. Oh, now my life's gonna change. And it's like, I'm gonna be at the gas station and people are gonna be taking photos when my hair's. I haven't even brushed my teeth yet. Cause I'm getting a coffee. Yeah, I don't know. But I never, I didn't take it that far. I just thought, yeah, this is kind of something fun. And, you know, and I knew I would probably start something on the side, just because. Why are you not going to try when you have the. The platform to do it? Right? Yeah, So I. But it was. I was very naive, I think, looking back. And I was only 33, so three. Three new children that were all three years and under. So, you know, just chaos.
[36:11]
A
And you were on for three seasons, am I correct? Four seasons.
[36:14]
B
Seven and eight.
[36:15]
A
Okay. Five, six, seven, eight. Yeah.
[36:17]
B
Yeah. So season seven. Season seven, I quit. And they asked me back, begged me back, wanted me back, whatever, talked me into it. And then. So season eight, I'm thinking, oh, okay, I'll stay. Okay. This wasn't so bad. And then they fired me.
[36:28]
A
Oh, my gosh. So while you're doing this and it's blowing up, I mean. Cause, listen, I don't. I have. I've watched the show certain years or whatever, but you are a standout cast member. Like, I wouldn't have remembered that. You were like, we're in, what, season 20 now? That seems like many seasons ago. I feel like you're part of. You're part of O.C. you know what I mean? Like, I don't feel like you haven't been on for that many seasons.
[36:52]
B
You know, it was all just the Jesus jugs. Thanks to Tamara. Thanks Tamara, for daming me. That's the only reason you feel that?
[36:58]
A
No, not at all.
[36:59]
B
That just took me off.
[37:00]
A
Yeah, it did, actually. But I always remember you as the pretty one. I always remember you as the religious one. But, like, how did you feel being on it? Did you feel famous? Like, did your life completely change?
[37:12]
B
Yeah. Oh, it. I mean, not that I felt famous, but it did. It did change. I mean, your. Anything you do is getting written and talked about. You know, the funny thing is, I think I'm one of the front of the COVID This was when tabloids still wasn't as much online. It was actually a hard copy. So you're in the grocery store and I'm splashed on the front of one of the tabloids and it's like, Alexis and Jim are getting divorced. I'm like, at that point, girl, we weren't even talking about divorce. Like, it wasn't even a thought. I'm like, I was staying in the marriage till the day I died. You know, at that point, so. So it was just so crazy to be like, oh, my God, I'm here in this supermarket and there's that, and that's so not true. And I've got my kids and I'm shopping and it's just like, it was all just. It Was a lot. But then you. You just kind of. It becomes your new norm.
[37:53]
A
Yeah. You know, for sure. And do you feel like had you not done the show, you wouldn't have eventually gotten divorced?
[38:00]
B
No, no. This show had nothing to do with my divorce. No, I know that's a misconception, and I know that that's, you know, it is kind of the housewife curse, though. It is. It's known, you know, and Jim and I even talk like we went into therapy before we signed on the show and we wrote. Wrote a contract to each other, like, about the show because we were like that serious about keeping our marriage number one and not letting the show because it's like it was only season five of the Housewives, but in that four seasons, a lot of them had already gotten divorced. Tamara was just going through one. Vicky was in the. It was just a lot of breakups and things were happening. So we wrote a contract to each other to try to, you know, make sure we were gonna stay in line with each other for what we expected the show to try to tear apart.
[38:44]
A
Right. And do you feel like you made some really good friends? Do you feel like at the end of the day, when you did get fired, were you like, this was a nightmare, I should never have done this. I've changed, or what? How did you leave feeling?
[38:56]
B
I left feeling grateful for the opportunity. I left feeling like, you know what? God always knows the plan and other doors will open. Or now I can really focus on being a full time mom because I had to pull back a little during filming and stuff from being the room mom. I might only be able to do one kid's room mom job instead of all three of them. When I wasn't on the show, I did all three and I was on like four other committees. So it was like I got to have a little bit of my life back in normalcy. But, you know, things didn't slow down because then I was on different. Several different shows just kept popping up and, you know, things kept happening. So.
[39:31]
A
Right. Can we talk about your divorce a little bit? Because then at this point, you've gotten it. You're heading into your second divorce and did things change for you? Did you feel differently about divorce? Did you feel differently about being single?
[39:45]
B
What do you mean?
[39:46]
A
Like getting divorced a second time and being religious. You know, I'm just wondering if that and having now three kids under you, if. And having done the show and your life is so in the spotlight, did you feel differently about divorce? Did you want it to stay Together longer for public perception. Did you feel like you were better off on your own? I mean, where was your head? I'm making that up as I'm asking
[40:07]
B
you, but yeah, yeah, those are fair questions. And I actually went through every single one of those emotions. Everything you just said is, is spot on for the roller coaster that happens when you're into, you know, thinking about divorce. But keep in mind I quit season or I was fired. Season 2000 or no 2000. I think it would have been around 2013 or 12, which would have been season eight. Okay. And we were still intact and everything was okay at that point. And then, then slowly things started to happen that just, you know, in my mind at that point I was thinking, I gotta make it till the kids are 16 because I've gotta have, I want them to have a car. I want them to be able to drive and just stick in there, you know, stick and stick in and just keep going through. And we were in therapy and we, I mean that's kind of the progression of what happened. At first it was like, no, we're just in therapy. Every Tuesday's our solo day and Thursdays are our couple day. And then we would have date night on couples night, you know, go to a quick early dinner and get home to put the kids to bed. Bed on Thursday. That was just our normal thing to try to salvage and turn the marriage around. And then after a year or two of that, it was like I just didn't feel, I didn't. I started to see that this, I might, for the well being of everyone might have to start considering it's not going to work, which is really hard for someone especially. I would never have walked down the aisle a second time, nor had three beautiful babies with someone that I thought about I was going to divorce. You know, it's just not going to happen. I wouldn't ever put. I don't think any woman or man does that, you know. So. Yeah. So then when it started to become palpable that I needed. It would be better if we did terminate the marriage. Then it was just, then it was just feeling the mom guilt. It was just so much guilt, so much angst and, and, and knowing that I was going to be all over the tabloids and knowing that every step we made from that point on it was just going to, we were going to be in spotlight for. And my kids were 10 and 9, 9 and 10 or 10, 10 and 11 when we first got divorced. So they were at a very unique age too. Like, you know, they're becoming almost teen. They're almost 13 years. They're going. Having a lot of emotions going on. My one child was. You know, we knew was. I was feeling the sense of LGBTQ coming or. And it was just like. And now they only have me 50%, you know, but then they moved in. They moved in with me. Pretty soon it was only, like, two years later, I think. And then they were here full time. So then that mom guilt felt started to go away a little, because I had them full time, you know?
[42:33]
A
But that's amazing. And how, like, in the years between your last divorce from Jim and then finding love again, were you just a single mom on your own? Like, how. How did your life go being on your own? I did it for 10 years in between, and there was some rough times. There were some great times. And then when I got to the last couple years before I did find. Find who I'm with now, I just was like, I'm never getting married again. Like, I'm never gonna find someone, and it's gonna be too hard. I have too much in my life. I don't know. I don't see how I can ever blend a life with what I've created. And I felt like I was the man and the woman in my life, and I was like, no one's gonna be able to come in that I'm gonna have enough respect for that, can handle it the way I handle it. You know what I mean?
[43:17]
B
Yeah. I think I went through a lot of those emotions. But the funny thing is, Rachel, is I got engaged probably a year and a half after our divorce to another man who was engaged to him for four and a half or five years, and. And then I had literally. I kind of. I think in my gut knew that I was going to end that relationship, too. But then when my mom passed away, I mean, I could feel. I could kind of feel that something was not right in our relationship, even though we were engaged, like, there was just something off. Because when we went on our cruise, I had this. It was one of our last trips we took together, but I had this. This thing made. And I only put me and my kids in that photo. It was like one of those ceramic things that light up. So it's like a. It's like a sculpture kind of thing.
[43:59]
A
And.
[44:00]
B
And I. When I was having that ordered on the cruise ship, all the kids were downstairs, and he was downstairs in our, you know, rooms. And I left him out of that. And I only had me and the kids created in the Sculpture. And so. And. And so I think that that was kind of a. A really huge tell to me. But then when my mom died, he. I went through the whole thing on my own. Like, he was not there. He went to. You know, it was just. It was just. I was just. I needed him the most. And I was watching my mom get taken away in a body bag and then having to drive to the airport the next morning by myself to get on a plane when I'm just at rock bottom, right? And so then I pretty much broke up with him right after that. And then the funniest part of this story is I was exactly where you were just at where you said, I will never marry again. I was at that point, I'm like, you know what? I'm just. I'm doing this on my own with my kids. This is me and my kids, and I am fine. And then three or four months later, lo and behold, I think my mom sent John to me because I felt him walk in the restaurant. And I didn't even know anything about him, but I felt, like, this air come up in my face like it was my mom. Like, wake up, Alexis. You know? And then, you know, I turned over, and my gay friends with me were like, oh, that John Jansen just walked in. I was like, oh, okay, who's that? And so then I'm like, googling. And they're like, oh, he's on the housewife show, too. And so then I was trying to figure out who he has, and then it was, like, history from there. It was, wow. I mean, it is a fast movement, but we, you know, we tried to stay friends. And then he knew my whole situation and knew about my ex fiance that I just ended things with. But, I don't know, it just. The way it worked out is how it was supposed to be.
[45:41]
A
So wait, tell me about that moment in the restaurant. Did you go up to him? Like, how did you guys end up speaking?
[45:46]
B
No, no, no. And I would never have gone up to him, but so Ricky, my two friends were sitting there. We'd already paid our check. Like, we'd had our dessert. We paid our check. I was not drinking at all at the time. I was trying to heal naturally for my mom. Cause I was going through a dark time. Such a dark time. And I went through a hard, you know, using the bottle to be a number. And so I was just trying to be better about it. But anyway, so I was ready to go. I'm in high heels. I am not in the, you know, not in the mood to stay any longer. And then John was with someone that I knew from charity events in town. Town. And so she walks over and sits down, just plops down at the booth, and we just start chit chatting. And she's so excited to see me, and I'm so excited to see her. And then, lo and behold, John ends up getting sat without us. Unbeknownst to us, he was just waiting for his name to be called to go to the next table in the booth right next to us. So we're here and his booth's here with all his group of friends. And so then she goes, this is the best part of this whole story is she goes, hey, John wanted to come meet you. Is that okay? And I thought, I never had a guy ask to come meet me before, but okay. So then I like, scoot over and he comes over and sits down. And I was like. I could feel like an energy between us, but I was so anti anyone at the time and anti any even dating anyone or even even looking in anyone's direction. Right. It was not. It was not on my radar. And then they had convinced us all to go to the nightclub, you know, to a dancing place right after that to hear some live music. And then, you know, he offered a boat day for all of us. And we're all like, okay, yeah, because I just sold my boat with my ex fiance. I'm like, boat me up. Yes, we'll go.
[47:17]
A
So.
[47:17]
B
And then, you know, we just. We ended up like, because we had. He made me put his number, my number in his phone. I mean, how boring is that? And I said no at first, but then he just still got it. And when I typed my number in, his number was almost the same as mine. I can't say it, but let's say if my number is 1, 2, 3, 4000, his number was 3, 2, 3, 4000, right? I look down at him, I'm like, that's really freaking weird. Like, that's really weird. And then we find out out a year later, that girl that said John wanted to come sit with me, he never asked her that. She did that and was lying. So he came over and that. And it was all just. It was just because of her saying that. And so she. She got acknowledgement at our wedding for being the cupid.
[48:05]
A
I was just gonna ask if she got acknowledgement for being the matchmaker. That's amazing. So how did it feel? So you said it was pretty quick. How did it feel like blowing up and being such a public relationship? Relationship in the news so quick.
[48:18]
B
It's early stunk. I mean, we did not like it. We tried so hard. I mean, we were. We were only going to, like, his private yacht club when we. We were really friends at first, and we were on the phone until 2 or 3am and we were literally friends. We were not. We were not making it another step towards any direction because we both knew, like, if we do this, it's going to, you know, like, first of all, we're going to lose a friendship that we were really enjoying being friends and having a shoulder to lean on. And then it turned into like, okay, we can't fight this feeling anymore. And then it turned into us sneaking around, and then our people at our yacht club were taking pictures and sending it to, like, TMZ and things. And so then it was like. It was just like, we just. We gotta get ahead of it and just like, stop trying to deny it. And then we did, and it was just. I'm so glad that's behind us.
[49:05]
A
Yeah, for sure. But wasn't it a big misconception? Because me as somebody who. Who was following that only. Cause it would come up on my feed or whatever, but I wasn't somebody that lived around there. I wasn't somebody who really followed the gossip on the show at all. I think the misconception of how it was being written is that the assumption was that there was an overlap or that you had been friends with Shannon and so that's why it was so sticky and gross. But none of those things are really true, right?
[49:30]
B
No, no. I had never formally met Shannon except when. When she was a little tipsy, right when she got Housewives and she came, you know, kind of introduced herself. And I did not even know at that time that she was gonna be a housewife. And none of it had registered. I just was kind of like, okay, well, I have no idea what's going on right now. And then we find out a year later that she got it. And then I never talked to her, never seen her, never filmed a show with her. Nothing. Nothing. So just being in the same town, I think, makes it kind of sticky. But here's the thing that I always said to everyone and to John, when we were debating, are we gonna take this next step or are we gonna stay tonic and just try to keep it at friend level? I even said to him, I go, the problem is, you know, by the time we're 40, I was 47 or 6 at the time, and he was 61 or whatever it was 60 I'm like, by the time we're this age, there is nobody that doesn't have a past boyfriend or girlfriend or someone that might know somebody that dated somebody else. You know what I mean? It's just the cobweb of the whole thing. We're just older. And so I just tried to let it roll off like that, but because
[50:34]
A
it was in the public eye and because you did have so many mutual friends, or maybe not so many, but friends in the public.
[50:40]
B
TV show. We had a TV show and we were both OC Housewives, so they thought. So it's actually the year I got let go in 2008. 2009 was the year she started, because that's what everybody thinks is because they were so close of me leaving and her ex me exiting and her coming on that. That we actually overlapped, but we never did.
[50:57]
A
Right. Memories blend and they see you and they see her, and they just think you were together.
[51:01]
B
And I get that. I get that. I think that I just knew, you know, and everyone kept saying, just give it time. Once everybody sees the truth of how it all unfolds, you know, and it does just take time, to be honest. I mean, you know that being in the public eye, it just. Sometimes misconceptions are there. And then it. It kind of. People go, oh, okay, I don't believe that anymore. Now I get it. You know, so.
[51:20]
A
And then how did you feel about being brought back? And then the storyline, obviously being about your relationship and Shannon, you know, so how. How did that go over for you as a person?
[51:30]
B
That was the hardest. That was probably one of the hardest years of. Well, for sure, on tv, but it just was not an organic. Um. I felt like it was not. I didn't get a voice of what my side really was and what was truly going on, which felt very unfair to me. Um, and it did. It was unfair to me the way. I mean, we all saw the episodes. Yeah. So. Yeah, but. And I get it. I know. I know why they had to go that direction. But, like, I. Yeah.
[52:00]
A
Well, it's interesting because it. They tried to pull it off, and everybody tried to pull it off as being scandalous, but you end up getting married. So it. You kind of, you know, you win in that scenario. It wasn't just to fling, to make everyone mad, or four tabloids, you know, for headlines.
[52:13]
B
A lot of people thought that. A lot of people thought that John and I were literally together just to get back on the show or just because we wanted to make a splash. And it's like, oh, my gosh. If they knew behind the scenes how much John and I were like, should we just move to, like Bali? Or like, should we. What should we do? Should we just get the heck out of dodge? You know that we have six kids? And it's like, okay, that's not realistic, but it sounds good, right? You know?
[52:37]
A
So you got married October 3rd. Am I getting the date right? So you're coming up almost on your one year anniversary. How's it going?
[52:43]
B
I know. Wow. I know.
[52:45]
A
Is it great? Has it been a good year?
[52:48]
B
It's been an amazing year, yeah. Oh, it's. It's. And I even said to him, because it is my third marriage. I mean, I don't really count my first one because I was so young and it was only a year. And I even thought about backing out of that as I'm walking down the aisle with my dad and he's like, lex, you can say no. And I'm like, I can't because all these people are here. We were in a church and we were doing it the old fashioned way. You know, I'm like, no, but. And anyway, so this past year, I looked back at him like on the day after our wedding, and I woke up and I go, does it feel different to you now that we're married? Because we were already kind of like together every day and our kids loved each other. It was just all already there. And he goes, yeah, it actually does. And I said, I know. It does feel different, you know, and so, I don't know, it's just something about doing it before. God, I'm sure. Did you feel that way because you just got married?
[53:34]
A
Yeah, I did. Well, we. We did it in my backyard in a big. In a big wedding. But we. No, I felt different. And it's funny though, because I still feel like we're dating. Do you know what I mean? Because we didn't actually date that long. He proposed to me on our eighth month anniversary. Our stories are very similar.
[53:52]
B
Because that's the same, though. Yeah. Yeah.
[53:55]
A
And when we, when we first met, we started as friends and he took me on his boat and, you know, I was like, I'm. I don't want to date somebody because I don't want to have to break up with anybody again. And who knows if I'm going to be into this or not, you know, it wasn't like, it's too.
[54:10]
B
And your kids. It's like, I don't want to bring. Because I just broken off with Drew. I'm Like, I don't want to bring another guy around with my. So I needed to wait. But then my kids were finding out about it, and they're just like, mom, we're hearing. Like, why aren't you. Why aren't we meeting him? Because it was coming out in the press, and I'm just like, oh, my gosh. Okay. But right.
[54:25]
A
Right. So. But no, like, getting married was so fun and exciting, and then to now look at him be like, it's so weird that we're married. Like, this is so fun that you. You have, like, a witness to your life, you know, like a life partner that you know is gonna go through it with you. And that's the nice thing about getting married older in your life. Like, this is my third marriage also. Oh, my gosh. I know. And so I just feel like, you know, it's very interesting, and I'm very happy to know that this is my last one. You know what I mean? And it makes me feel better about getting through the day, you know?
[54:59]
B
And you have your best friend now.
[55:01]
A
That's right.
[55:01]
B
We have a lot of similarities that I did not know about.
[55:03]
A
I know. That's funny. And you said your birthday's in January, too. Too. Right.
[55:06]
B
January 19th. What's yours?
[55:08]
A
January 30th.
[55:11]
B
Okay, so are you Aquarius?
[55:13]
A
I'm Aquarius. I'm Aquarius. Okay.
[55:15]
B
Yeah, yeah.
[55:15]
A
But. Okay, so talk to me about your wedding day. Did anything go wrong that we don't know about?
[55:20]
B
Oh, gosh, yes. But it's so funny, because this wedding. And I'm interested to hear your side on it, too, since you just got married. This wedding, I did not really care if anything went wrong. I was like, you know what? I think it's just maturity and age and just knowing that your people are there that love you. You're doing it before God. We had a very spiritual ceremony, and God was invited everywhere in our ceremony and the. And the end of the reception. But we. The hors d' oeuvres came out an hour late, which to me, is a big deal, because the people have been there for a long time, and we're doing photos, and so that was a big deal, but no one noticed it because the cocktails were flowing, and all my guests are like, we didn't notice. We didn't notice. You know, But I'm. I'm wondering if they're saying that because they don't want to hurt my feelings or if they were like, yeah, we were starving, but I think we probably wasted most of the hors d', oeuvres, which stinks because we got. We had really good ones and we'd taken a lot of time and they were just, you know, I really wanted the guests to enjoy it and I hate wasting food, so that bothered me. But as far as hiccups on the, like going through. Oh, I cut my finger right before. And I'm talking. It was. I don't have any nails on right now, so forgive my hands, but it was gushing. And I'm in my wedding dress. So my son, who's a paramedic or emt comes, you know, is in my room with us. Cause we're getting ready to leave. And so he's got my hand up and he's got. He's holding. And he's like, mom, don't get upset. I'm like, I'm fine, honey, I'm fine. And he's squeezing it and he's like, give me some super glue. And so he super glues my finger so I can get. Cause I'm supposed to be walking out in the next two minutes. And that was a pretty funny hiccup that we laugh about. And I had to carry. So with my bouquet, I had to have my finger wrapped and I had to carry it. So I had to kind of hide my finger with my little kerchief. The whole ceremony as I'm reading vows and stuff. No one really picked up on it. They thought it was there to dry the tears. But I'm like, it's holding my finger together. So those are a couple funny things. Yeah. What about you?
[57:10]
A
Well, for me, it's funny because our minister was projectile vomiting since the night before, so he couldn't show. He called me like, as the rehearsal dinner is starting and we had 160 people fly in. And then we had this huge wedding in the backyard. And so we were doing the rehearsal dinner and he could like, as the rehearsals basically getting together. And we're about to start at 4:00 on the night before. He calls me. He goes, I landed earlier this morning. I can't stop throwing up. I'm not going to be able to make it. So he shows up right before the wedding and he had still been projectile vomiting. And his name is Tim Story. He's like a very famous, like, do you know him? And he's amazing and is such a good speaker. And he also walked me down the aisle. We're very, very close. So he couldn't. He could hardly walk down the aisle. He was like stepping on my dress. And he didn' know the plan cuz he hadn't been there the night before. And it was really choreographed because there was all these people. Anyway, he was great. The second thing that happened that went wrong is that.
[58:09]
B
Wait, did he. Wait, hold on.
[58:10]
A
Did he.
[58:11]
B
Did he end up doing your ceremony?
[58:12]
A
He did do it, yes, but it wasn't.
[58:14]
B
What a champ.
[58:15]
A
I know, total champ. But he. It wasn't this big moment like I thought it would be with him because he's such a good speaker and so he was a best minister, right. So I thought it would be great. And he could kind of hold it. He wasn't great at holding it together, but he did and it was awesome. And he. We didn't throw up, so that was good. The other thing was, is that.
[58:33]
B
And you didn't get sick? No, you didn't get sick.
[58:35]
A
I never caught anything. No, my biggest fear is throwing up. So I can't be around anyone that throws up. So anyway, it was fine. But the other funny thing was we started it was like a three day event and on Monday we got married. New Year's Eve was Wednesday. It was 80 degrees, sunny, beautiful. The day of our wedding, it goes down to 40 degrees. So everyone shows up in like fur coats. And then we had to bring in that day like 11 heat lamps for outside. It was a total disaster. So that stuff. And you couldn't help it, you know what I mean? So. But everything. There was a bunch of other little things that went wrong. No one else would've noticed. And it was fun and it gives us good stories. So it was a great time.
[59:13]
B
Cocktails and the 40 degrees goes away. It's fine.
[59:16]
A
Totally, totally. Did you have a best moment of the night?
[59:20]
B
Oh gosh, I think there's two. And they're kind of just like, okay, boring, probably for some people. But my first one that I remember was when Mary Dan, my wedding planner's Mary Dan. And it's funny, she planned my first wedding to Jim too.
[59:34]
A
Oh, no way.
[59:35]
B
Get that story. And so the funniest part about that is I'm interviewing wedding planners and it's like, you know, John wanted to get married, right? In a year like he wanted. And he's like, we can get married in six months. I'm like, sweetheart, you are not. You're crazy. There's no way we could do this in six months. He's like, I could get this done in six months. I'm like, no, you can't. I don't even have a wedding planner. I'm in that process. So it was like, first month of being engaged. I'm trying to find a wedding planner. Because he wanted to do October. We found the venue. They only had a Friday, Friday open. They didn't have any Saturdays for, like, two and a half years. So we chose the Friday. And so when we found out it was exactly a year out, not even. Yeah, like, nine, ten, ten months out or something. I then was in bed one night, and I'm like, God, I really just want to use Mary, because she knows me. She did fabulous. But I doubt she's even a wedding planner anymore. So that next morning, he was already asleep, I think. And so the next morning, I, like, tapped him, and I'm like, hey, sweetie. He's like, yeah, I have a question for you. And he's like, okay. And I'm like, indeed. Would you care if I use my same wedding planner if she's still available? Married me to Jim. And he's like, I don't care. I'm like, oh, perfect. Called her up. She's still available. We were, like, tight as heck now. And so she pulled it off really easy and helped me a ton with that. The first moment that I remember the most was when she's over in the window waiting for. To know when my cue was to bring my kids and me down, because our kids walked us down the aisle. So his kids were. Walked him. And it's when she took me over to that window, and I see him with his kids walking to his spot. And I just was. I started my. My. My makeup artist had just gotten dressed because she's also one of my dearest friends. She was just rushing to go get dressed to be able to see the ceremony. And so she can't touch up my makeup. So we're all, like, you know, blowing in my eyes, and, like, my. I'm patting him, and I'm like, you know, saying words like hemorrhoid fart, like, things that just make me laugh instead of, like, actually, like, crying. And so. So I'm trying to get it off my mind. So that was the first special moment. And then the second one, hands down, I mean, they're tied, but is when my children walk me down. It was just. There was something so special about my daughter. Was the kind of. My flower girl, like, you know, was dorky. She was just throwing a couple rose petals just to act like, just to make the picture. And then I was with my two sons. They were walking. It was just, like, I could get emotional. That was the best day. It was the Best moment.
[61:47]
A
Good. I'm so happy for you. It looked beautiful. Those photos were unbelievable. All right, well, I can't let you go without talking about Real Housewives one more time and what's going on right now in this season. So it's the 2020 seasons. It's a huge milestone for them. Do you think this season is delivering?
[62:05]
B
Oh, gosh. You have to go there.
[62:07]
A
I just. I guess I have to.
[62:09]
B
The funny thing is, I can't tell a lie, so I have to be honest. But. And I podcast with Carlos King about recapping it, so it's already gonna be out there today. Cause we just talked about it. But it is slow burn right now. It is a slow burn. It is. You know, like I told him on the podcast this morning, I just said we didn't mention Tamara's name once because she's sitting on as a wallflower. You know, she's one of my closest friends, so I can. I can complain about that with her, but. And she knows I feel this way, and she feels that way probably, too. She just was. You know, she had a really rough season, so I think she was just trying to, like, not have a rough season again. So, yeah, it's kind of boring. What do you think? But this is what I would say, and this is what I told Carlos. I said, here's the deal. Beverly Hills. Because we pod about that together, too. We recap that together. I said, beverly Hills took us till season eight. Or, I'm sorry, episode eight. For it to get, like, we were, like, jumping in our chair. I'm like, so let's give it a moment. This is only five. Let's give it till eight. Maybe it's gonna pick up.
[63:04]
A
What do you think that I was just gonna say that? Because, again, I don't watch all the seasons of any of the shows, but I remember, like, some of the Salt Lake seasons, they were very slow. And all of a sudden you're like, oh, wait, this is really good. Same thing with all the. You know, for me, I feel like, you know, once in a while, you have to. You have to give it a while. You have to get into the characters. You have to see what's going on. But I do notice that Tamara seems a lot more tepid than she's been. Yeah. Subdued. And I didn't know if that was because she was taking, you know, advice from the fans from last season or whatever it was, that she was too much or that, you know, something was going on or, you know, I just didn't know what you thought? Cause I knew that you were friends with her, so that's interesting.
[63:44]
B
I think it's all of the above. I think it's that. I think that she just, you know, she got really torn apart season 18 with me and then torn apart season 19 when Teddi got diagnosed. And that was the hardest time of her. Like, just. I mean, she caught me crying almost every day that I ever. It was just crying because of Teddy, and just. You didn't have the answers. And so I just think she had such a tough season, and the fans, and I think she just was like, you know, I'm just gonna. I'll just chill, you know?
[64:11]
A
And now having this podcast with Carlos, how is that going? Does it. Is it hard for you to recap, or it's super easy and you love it? Oh, no.
[64:19]
B
Well, it's hard only because I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, because it's like, you're only there to really give your opinion about that episode. It's not that you're judging their character. It's not that you're, you know. And so it's hard for me in that aspect. And I am friends with a lot. You know, I feel like I've got friendly relationships with a lot of them, and especially Tamara. I mean, I'll call her sometimes. I'll be like, ugh, I might have misstepped, you know, misspoke on my podcast with Carla. Sorry. And she. She's like, I don't care, Alexis. And I'm like, oh, I don't know. You might not like it. And she just laughs it off. But, you know, I just. I guess the number one thing when you're podcasting and recapping shows is just that you can hurt people's feelings. Probably because it happened when I was on season 18 and being the villain. So it's just. That's the only part that's difficult. But other than that, he's a hoot. We have such good chemistry, and we just are such good, naturally good friends. So, yeah.
[65:06]
A
Yeah, you guys have really good chemistry. It's easy to watch. And let's listen to. You know, I'm curious if you want to be back on tv, like, if Bravo called you tomorrow or any. Or any network, would you want to go back into some sort of reality show?
[65:20]
B
I would say absolutely. I think that it would be, you know, first of all, I would have to fit in with all my family and all the stuff that's, you know, happening with my family now. My. I'm starting. I'm close to becoming an empty nester, but I'm not there. I'm not that yet. So it would have to work for that. But yeah, I mean, I'm open minded to other avenues. I mean, why not? If you can make some money and, and as long as the premise is positive and not like, you know, I don't know. There was that one Survivor show. I forget what the name of it was, but it was like I first, I saw the preview for it first and I was like, well, that'd be fun to do. And then I watched and I'm like, okay, that would never. And it's a reality. I'm like, I could never do that. Like they're like dropped on an island and like you have to find your own food.
[65:59]
A
You mean like naked and afraid? Would you ever do that?
[66:02]
B
Not that when it's with celebrities though, it's with it's celebrities. They drop you on an island.
[66:07]
A
Right.
[66:07]
B
And you have to. I'm just like, I thought, I thought it sounded funny that I watched the first one and I'm like, I would die. I would be paying them to send me home after the first hour. I'll be like, what do you need? Let's go back on.
[66:19]
A
Oh my God, that's hysterical. Okay, I have some rapid fire questions for you. Okay. Who is the most underrated housewife?
[66:26]
B
Underrated of all franchises are just O.C.
[66:28]
A
all.
[66:30]
B
Oh. Oh, gosh. Well, that's really hard because I don't watch a ton of the others. I guess for me I would say Amanda Francis because I loved her and adored her on Beverly Hills and now we just found out she's not coming back. So I, I don't know if that's. There's rumors that she quit and there's rumors that she was let go. I don't know which is true, but I think she was underrated if she. Especially if she didn't get asked back. But I love and adore her on the show.
[66:56]
A
Funniest Housewife. Vicki Smartest.
[67:05]
B
Well, I guess Heather, if I can only think of OC I'm trying to branch out. I don't know enough of the other
[67:10]
A
of people, you know, Obviously. Yeah.
[67:12]
B
Kyle Richards is very intelligent too, so I would say one of them.
[67:16]
A
Yeah, I was going to say Kyle Biggest diva.
[67:20]
B
Oh. Oh. I mean that would have probably been Lisa Vanderpump if she was still on.
[67:26]
A
Okay. Worst dressed.
[67:28]
B
Oh, gosh. Plead the Fifth.
[67:30]
A
Okay. Most Misunderstood me. Best producer.
[67:38]
B
Wait, of the like, like, of the housewife cast.
[67:41]
A
Or the producers of the housewife cast.
[67:44]
B
Best producer. I don't really think any, from my experience, and I can only go on that. Oh, you mean, like, if they're producing their own storyline.
[67:52]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Oh,
[67:57]
B
I might have to say Gina Kirchenheimer.
[67:59]
A
Okay. Most surprising celebrity fan.
[68:05]
B
Oh, I don't really. I don't know.
[68:11]
A
Okay.
[68:12]
B
I don't.
[68:12]
A
There was no celebrity that ever reached out to you or that you saw was a huge.
[68:15]
B
No.
[68:16]
A
And I know.
[68:16]
B
I heard that I'm. Rihanna just reached out to Amanda Francis and. No, Rihanna never reached out to me.
[68:22]
A
Okay. All right, so nobody. All of a sudden. It wasn't like Tom Cruise wrote you and said, hey, I'm a huge fan.
[68:27]
B
No, no. I have not been DMed by any a list celebrity. I know I'm a Z list, and I get it.
[68:32]
A
But it's right. Oh, my goodness.
[68:34]
B
Okay, now I'll probably think of someone as soon as they'll be, like, texting you. Can you add this in there?
[68:38]
A
Yeah, exactly. We'll add it in. Okay, so my last question is just for people who really do follow this stuff, and you talked at the beginning about how you feel like it's a lot different, at least the casting process than it was when you were on it. Now kind of, you know, having all these shows out there, and then they're kind of doing spinoffs of all the shows. Do you feel like they're totally different and they're more performative than they were? Like, do you feel like when you were on, it was really about your life and now it's just a bunch of actresses? Or what is your opinion on Housewives at the moment?
[69:10]
B
I. I have to say that I do kind of agree with that. I do feel like back when. Like, When I filmed 18, I was remembering back to 5 through 8, and I was like, wow, it's a totally different animal. And I was actually talking to Vicki about. And she agreed to. Because she just came back, you know, and she's been off for four years. Yeah, it's. It's. It just has changed. And you have to understand that, though, because it evolves, Right? It's been on 20 years. It's going to evolve and change. I definitely think it was more organic. And I don't know if organic is the right word. Maybe I'm misusing that word. But it was definitely more of just following our life and not having to worry about a handbag and a dildo being the storyline. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know Yeah, I don't know.
[69:51]
A
I hear what you're saying. Okay. And then my last question is, what are you working on now or what's on your bucket list in the future that you're really excited to do?
[69:59]
B
I cannot tell you. Like, I have been, I'm going through. And this is real. You're only have a 4. Is your 14 year old your only kid?
[70:06]
A
Yeah.
[70:06]
B
Okay, so you just wait because this is coming, gonna be coming up tomorrow on you and you're gonna understand it and call me and say, oh my gosh, I totally get what you're saying.
[70:13]
A
Okay.
[70:14]
B
Okay. I am going through a couple complete, like, reinventing myself now because I have been a mom through and through. Like, that has been my number one thing of being completely involved and engrossed in their life. And now that my son just moved into his own apartment because he just got married, my oldest, my daughter's leaving for school and we're taking her August 31st. I know it's a late college and then my other one is going to still live with us for a few years, but is going off to school and he's never home anyway.
[70:47]
A
He's gone.
[70:47]
B
So I feel like, like I'm in this era of. I just told John. I'm like, I'm starting a pickleball. I'm going to be that girl. I'm going to start a pickleball. I might start my own new club of something. I don't know what, but a book reading club or something. I don't know. And then, yeah, I mean, we've. My husband and I started a couple companies together that are taking a lot of time. So. But I would, I would look at what do I want to do next now because I am going to have a lot more free time. And it's, it's like you feel sad because everything you've known is changing. But you also. I'm so excited for my kids, but also just kind of, you know, now John and I have more time to figure out what, what do we want to do now.
[71:24]
A
Right. And that's, that's super exciting. I know people always talk about that empty nest syndrome and how difficult and depressing that is, especially for, for women. But at the same time, you've just gotten married, which is exciting because now you're in the space where you can have this new relationship and start fresh, which is super exciting. Last thing I'll say to you is that I have a pickleball court in my backyard here. So next time you and John come To pond Palm beach, please come over and we will play pickleball.
[71:50]
B
Because that's the first thing is I have to learn.
[71:53]
A
That's fine. That's super easy to learn, super fun. And you know, my husband, who is similar to yours in age, I guess, is always, you know, telling me how injured his hip gets from playing. So I will give you that one. And he's a former athlete, so it's funny, you know, but he has to ice himself from playing, but not from playing tennis. So it is, it can be dangerous.
[72:14]
B
Interesting. Wait, so pickleball, he has to ice himself but not when he plays tennis.
[72:18]
A
Correct, correct. And you'll find that that's the thing. Well, it's a smaller court and the, the movements are much quicker and the. And you are moving quicker. You don't have enough space to run. So a lot of people get.
[72:31]
B
Barring more, you're doing more of the impact of your hip move.
[72:34]
A
Okay. Totally, totally. And so anyways, you'll find that a lot of people will tell you once you start to be careful because you'll feel it in places where you. You haven't felt. Felt it before.
[72:43]
B
Okay.
[72:44]
A
Yeah, exactly. But it was so nice to meet you. Tell people where they can follow you or hear more about you.
[72:50]
B
I'm such the worst social media person ever. I'm just Alexis underscore Bellino still. I mean, it's Jansen when you look up my name, but it's Alexis Underscore Bellino on Instagram. I'm really not on. I have a TikTok, but I'm never on it, so I don't want to really don't give you that. But yeah, it's just. I'm boring. I'm simple.
[73:05]
A
You're not boring and you're anything but simple. It's been an honor to have met you. I do hope that we stay in touch and I can't wait to see what's next in your life.
[73:13]
B
I'm coming to play pickleball one day.
[73:15]
A
Perfect. I love it. If you've enjoyed today's episode, don't let it end here. Our Patreon community has become one of my favorite parts of Misunderstood. It's where I can become more personal, answer your questions, share what's really happening behind the scenes, and continue conversations that simply don't fit into the public podcast. Whether you want bonus episodes, exclusive behind the scenes means access my Palm Beach Life series, monthly giveaways, or even a one on one conversation with me. There's a membership tier that's perfect for you. I truly love to welcome you into our Insider club. Just visit patreon. Com Misunderstood with Rachel Ukatelle or click the link in the show notes.

Summary6 min read

Podcast Summary:

Miss Understood with Rachel Uchitel
Episode: Alexis Janssen on John Janssen, Shannon Beador, RHOC & Her Facelift Journey
Date: August 11, 2026
Host: Rachel Uchitel
Guest: Alexis Janssen (formerly Bellino, Real Housewives of Orange County alum)

Episode Overview

In this episode, Rachel Uchitel sits down with Alexis Janssen to unpack the real story behind headline-making moments in Alexis's life: her recent facelift journey, her new marriage to John Janssen, life after being "Jesus Jugs" on RHOC, dealing with misconceptions about her relationships (notably with Shannon Beador), and her experience navigating fame, divorce, faith, and personal reinvention. Through candid conversation, Alexis shares emotional truths and practical advice, aiming to change the narrative around her public persona.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Alexis's Facelift Journey

Motivation & Prep
- At age 49, Alexis noticed changes especially with her chin and neck and was inspired by friends who had similar procedures ([02:32]–[03:03]).
- She consulted Dr. Lakey after resistance from both her husband and children, emphasizing the importance of surgeon choice ([03:12]–[04:47]).

“For my face, I'm telling you, it was a complete different animal. Like, I almost canceled four times... I almost, you know, backed out the morning of while we're prepping me on the operating table.” — Alexis [05:11]

Surgery & Recovery
- Facelift combined with CO2 laser; Alexis nearly backed out of the CO2 but was ultimately convinced ([08:48],[18:58]).
- Physical recovery pain was largely from the CO2 laser, not the surgical facelift itself. Waking up post-surgery was daunting:
  
  “I think my first words were, 'What the F did I do to myself?'” — Alexis [11:42]
- Emotional ups and downs were highlighted, especially days 3–4 post-op, when swelling peaked and she questioned her choices ([14:31]).
Advice to Others
- “When you’re choosing a doctor, make sure you’ve seen their actual work, heard actual patient journeys. Don’t just go for price or proximity.” — Alexis [11:06]
- She journals and documents the entire process to break down misconceptions about recovery ([13:33]–[14:31]).
Rachel’s Facelift Plans
- Rachel reveals her own upcoming facelift and discusses fears regarding family reactions and self-perception ([15:14]–[21:49]).

Life Before and After RHOC Fame

Early Life and Faith
- Alexis is from Hannibal, Missouri; strong roots, long-lasting friendships ([24:06]).
- Developed a passion for faith organically from a young age ([27:05]).
Path to Housewives
- Introduced to RHOC by friend Gina; casting process was much less formal in her era ([31:47]–[34:22]).
- “I beat out the chick with a private plane.” ([00:48],[33:06])
- Entered as a full-time, hands-on mom. Fame wasn’t the goal, but business opportunities followed ([35:13]).
Experience on RHOC
- Became instantly recognizable:
  
  “You are a standout cast member.” — Rachel [00:55]
  “Not that I felt famous, but it did change. Anything you do is written and talked about... it becomes your new norm.” — Alexis [37:12]
- Explains source of the "Jesus Jugs" nickname and how it shaped how she was perceived ([36:52]–[36:58]).
Exit from the Show
- Left feeling grateful despite being fired after being coaxed to return ([36:14]–[36:28]).

Personal Life: Divorce, Dating, and Finding John Janssen

Divorce and Motherhood
- RHOC did not cause her divorce, despite the so-called Housewives curse ([38:00]–[39:45]).
- Navigated guilt, family therapy, and eventually being a single mother.
- “Would never have walked down the aisle... if I thought about divorce. So much guilt, so much angst...” — Alexis [41:14]
Singlehood & Remarriage
- Was engaged post-divorce, broke it off after support during her mother’s passing faltered ([43:17]–[43:59]).
- Met John Janssen serendipitously, at a low point emotionally; immediate strong connection ([45:41]–[47:16]).
Dealing with Public Scrutiny
- The relationship with John became public quickly due to fans’ and tabloids’ interest ([48:17]–[49:04]).
- Addressing rumors about overlaps with Shannon Beador:
  
  "I had never formally met Shannon... nothing. So just being in the same town, I think, makes it kind of sticky." — Alexis [49:29]

Wedding Stories

Wedding Day Details
- Both Alexis and Rachel share mishaps (missing hors d'oeuvres, finger injury, sick minister, weather issues), focusing on humor and perspective ([55:15]–[59:33]).
- Best moments included family participation and emotion:
  
  “There was something so special about my daughter... I could get emotional. That was the best day. Best moment.” — Alexis [61:46]
Reflections on Marriage
- Both feel that marrying later in life brings a deeper appreciation for partnership and a sense of “this is the last one” ([54:25]–[55:01]).

Housewives: Then vs. Now

Current Season & Franchise Evolution
- Alexis describes the 20th season as a "slow burn," and notes that Tamra’s energy is subdued following rough seasons ([62:04]–[63:44]).
- The franchise today is “more performative” and less organic compared to her seasons:
  
  "It was definitely more of just following our life and not having to worry about a handbag and a dildo being the storyline." — Alexis [69:09]
Podcasting with Carlos King
- Enjoys the dynamic but is careful about not hurting friends’ feelings ([64:11]).
Would She Return?
- Open to coming back to reality or TV but only if it fits her life and has a positive premise ([65:19]).

Rapid Fire Q&A ([66:18])

Most Underrated Housewife: Amanda Francis (Beverly Hills)
Funniest: Vicki
Smartest: Heather (OC) or Kyle Richards
Biggest Diva: Lisa Vanderpump
Worst Dressed: Pleads the Fifth
Most Misunderstood: Herself
Best Producer (producing storylines): Gina Kirschenheiter
Celebrity Fans: No direct DMs from celebrities

Reinvention and What’s Next

Facing “empty nest” with hope—open to new hobbies (pickleball, book club), growing businesses with John, and figuring out what comes after active motherhood ([70:13]–[71:24]).

Notable Quotes

“[About facelifts] ...this was a whole different animal. But I'm so glad I did it.” — Alexis [05:49]
“What the F did I do to myself?” — Alexis, on waking post-op [11:42]
“I looked in the mirror in the car when I’m still kind of loopy... I pull the [visor] down and I’m just like, what did I do?” — Alexis [13:33]
“You can't just cover it up with a shirt. If you get a botched job there, you can put a shirt on and no one knows except your husband...” — Alexis [05:49]
“I am getting a facelift in two weeks... and it's funny because I went and got all my stuff dissolved, like, three days ago, and I'm already... so conscious of what I look like now...” — Rachel [15:14]

Memorable Moments & Timestamps

[05:11] Alexis nearly cancels facelift “four times”
[11:42] Waking up from surgery: “What the F did I do to myself?”
[14:48] Day 3 or 4 post-op—the infamous “mental breakdown” phase
[49:04] Discussing tabloid scrutiny and public pressure
[55:20] Finger crisis right before the wedding
[62:04] Critique of current RHOC season: “It is a slow burn.”

Advice & Takeaways

Do your research on surgeons—see real results, talk to actual patients
Prepare emotionally for cosmetic surgery outcomes, especially facelifts
Block out external criticism—public narratives almost always miss the nuance

Where to Find Alexis

Instagram: @alexis_bellino (now Janssen)
Not active on TikTok

Closing Thoughts

Alexis's journey encapsulates reinvention—be it surgical, personal, or in love. She pulls back the curtain on what fame, public perception, and starting over really feel like, offering both practical tips (on facelifts!) and emotional truths for women facing change at any age.

Loading summary

Transcript275 lines

[00:00]
A
Before we get started, I wanted to let you in on a little secret. What you're about to hear is only part of the conversation. Every week, we keep talking over on Patreon, where you'll find exclusive bonus episodes, behind the scenes footage after show, conversations with my guests, and personal stories from my life that I don't share anywhere else. If you love Misunderstood, Patreon is where you'll get the full experience. Just head on over to patreon.com/understood with Rachel Ukatel or click the link in the show notes. I'd love to have you join us. Everyone is talking about your facelift.
[00:38]
B
I almost canceled four times. I almost backed out the morning of. While we're prepping me on the operating table.
[00:46]
A
Tell me how you found out about Real Housewives.
[00:49]
B
I did not in a million years think I was going to get it because I think one of the other women had a private plane. And I'm like, I beat out the chick with a private plane.
[00:56]
A
You are a standout cast member.
[00:57]
B
You are psychotic.
[00:58]
A
Jesus Jugs.
[00:59]
B
You're psychotic. Jesus Jugs was all just the Jesus Jug Season 7. I quit and they asked me back, begged me back, wanted me back, whatever, talked me into it, and then they fired me.
[01:10]
A
How did it feel like blowing up and being such a public relationship?
[01:14]
B
It really stunk. We tried so hard. People at our yacht club were taking pictures and sending it to, like, tmz.
[01:20]
A
I think the misconception was that there was an overlap or that you had been friends with Shannon.
[01:25]
B
No, no.
[01:26]
A
No one else listening to my podcast know this, but I'm going to say it now. I am.
[01:30]
B
Don't back.
[02:02]
A
Alexis, thank you so much for joining me today on Misunderstood.
[02:06]
B
Hi. So nice to meet you finally.
[02:08]
A
I know. You look absolutely amazing.
[02:11]
B
Thank you.
[02:12]
A
So everyone is talking about your facelift. You know why now? Like, you look, by the way, you look amazing. You looked amazing before. Is that what everybody says, though?
[02:22]
B
Yeah. But I wonder if that's just cliche and everybody's supposed to say that. I mean, are they going to really say, wow, you really looked crappy before. Thank God you did that. I mean, I don't know if they're going to go, right.
[02:30]
A
Well, can you see a difference?
[02:32]
B
Oh, my gosh, yes. And it's. For me, it's a lot of. You know, because we pick ourselves apart. Right, Rachel, we're like, we're our worst critics, and we see things that other people probably would never notice. But it started with my chin. I would just. Every picture I was taking. I'm 49, I'm turning 50 in six months. And two of my closest friends had it done when they were 49, and they're now 60 and had their second one done between 60 and 65. And both of them made them just perk up. Like, what this one did for me, and I'm like, I'm going to follow in their footsteps because I'm unhappy with my neck.
[03:03]
A
Right.
[03:04]
B
And the photos were driving me crazy. And if I started taking weird photos and I wouldn't smile all the way, and it was just, you know, I'm like, just get it done, you know?
[03:11]
A
Right.
[03:12]
B
So, yeah, it's. And the point is, like, the doctor said he had to. We had to do quite a few consultations because my husband was very against it. Like, he just did not want me to do it. My kids were very against it. And so in the consults, the one with my husband that was like two hours long, he was asking so many questions. He, you know, the doctor made it very clear, like, you want to do it now? She has a little bit of room where we can just make her look less tired, a little happier, like, she got a good night's sleep. And no one. If she didn't want to talk about it in the press, no one would know. They would just say, wow, she's on some good vitamins, or, you know, got a new haircut. That's what a lot of people.
[03:51]
A
Her Peptides are working.
[03:53]
B
Yeah. Yeah, I'm not on any yet, so I'll let you know when that happens. Right. Are you Peptides?
[03:59]
A
I am. I just. I started them, like, six months ago, and I don't know how I feel about them because I've kind of changed them. I don't necessarily believe in the NAD or whatever that stuff is, but there are certain ones that I do believe in only because during the summer I was away, we took a trip on our boat for, like, three weeks, and I didn't work out once, and I actually came off the boat looking more fit, and I really think it was because of the Peptides. So there. There are some certain ones that I feel like, build muscle, which for me, like, I just turned 51 in January, so I'll be 52. Thank you. And so I do feel like that's helped because for me, like, losing muscle as you get older is what my issue is. You know, even no matter how much I go to the gym, and I'm not like a huge gym rat, but, like, I would like to feel fit because I Think that makes you look younger, you know?
[04:46]
B
Right. So.
[04:48]
A
But I would love to hear from you about your journey, because I know so many people follow that algorithm. As. As I was saying earlier on Instagram about facelifts, like, it's what everyone's talking about right now. So what do people not understand about the prep for the facelift? Because is there some fear in there for you? Like, what did. What did you do to prep for this to make sure you were in the right headspace to just go on this journey?
[05:12]
B
It was. It was a lot, you know, and I've had boob, you know, boob jobs, and everyone knows about that. Jesus does and everything. And so. But for my face, I'm telling you, it was a complete different animal. Like, I almost changed, you know, canceled four times. I had to go to four consults. I almost, you know, backed out the morning of while we're prepping me on the operating table. And, you know, the doctor made me feel very comfortable and just did. Did a couple of things right before surgery that put my mind at ease about the whole deal, because he could tell I was nervous. And they don't want you nervous and having high blood pressure or anything when you're getting ready to go under.
[05:49]
A
Right.
[05:50]
B
And we prayed together and all that. But it was a journey because of the fact that I'm like, what if it does? It's your face. You can't just cover it up with a shirt. If you get a botched job there, you can put a shirt on and no one knows except your husband, you know? Right. Yeah. This was a whole different animal. But I'm so glad I did it. It took a lot. It took me making phone calls to the two girls. One of them is Tamara Judge from O.C. she done at 49, I think was her first one. And then. And then my best friend, another girl, Sean, had hers done at 49. So I just kept calling them and saying, like, am I stupid? Should I do it, or am I really going to be happy? Like, am I going to make a mistake? And they were just like, all, go for it. Just go for it. Yes. You're going to be so much happier. And I am. I mean, I do look like. I just. I mean, did you use all my before and afters? Right?
[06:35]
A
Yeah. What.
[06:35]
B
What do you think? For real?
[06:37]
A
I think that you look. First of all, it doesn't look like you had a facelift, which I think is the best part of it. It looks like you're wearing makeup almost. You know what I mean? It Looks like you have a glow. It looks like you were rested. It looks like something changed in you. So it looks like a better version of you, but it doesn't look like a different version of you, which I'm assuming is what you wanted. Because if you looked any different, I think that's when the problem starts. And that's probably what the nervousness was beforehand.
[07:04]
B
Yes. You nailed it. Yeah. And that's what the nervousness of my kids were like. My son said to me right before, it was like two days before, and we're in the kitchen together and he just goes, mom, what can I do to talk you out of this? Because, you know, you're prepping, you're not. You're changing your diet and you're getting ready to go under and all that. So it's like, you know, not drinking, like just doing all the things you have to do post op or pre op. And I just said, sweetie, you can't. There's nothing you can do to change my mind. I'm going. You know, you're not going to. You're not going to be disappointed, I promise. And I'm sure they were nervous because they're like, oh, gosh, what's mom going to come out looking like? Because you do see, you do see a lot of jobs that are not good.
[07:38]
A
Right, Right. And a friend of mine. A friend of mine went to Turkey and got hers done. And you know, because I've seen a lot of stuff online how in Turkey it looks a lot better and there's no. There's no incisions. Her process was not, as you see online, though, because it took her. She did it before my wedding. I got married New Year's Eve, and she did it in. In. Thank you. And you too. She did it, I think, in October, I want to say. And by her wedding, she still couldn't feel her face. She still did not look even kind of. And how many weeks was that out?
[08:12]
B
How many weeks post op was that?
[08:14]
A
So post op, let's see, for her it was. I'm trying to do the math. October, November, December. So three months.
[08:21]
B
Oh, wow. Okay.
[08:22]
A
And, you know, I feel like a lot of people can kind of bounce back within a couple weeks or at least be seen. And for her, she really didn't want to be seen. So she started doing things like different lasers and different fillers on top of it to fix it. Anyways, now here we are, like almost a year later, and she looks amazing. But. But so in the Turkish stuff that you see online, I Think is a much different version than what you see in America, because. Did you do the CO2 thing on top of it?
[08:48]
B
I did, and I wish it was my fault. I. First of all, before I talk about the CO2, I wanted to comment on my facelift. I was on a red carpet a week or two weeks after, and no one knew. I didn't talk about it, but I was. I was in the public eye two weeks after my facelift. And so, you know, or maybe it was. Oh, I think I'm talking to. I think it was four. I think it was four. Because the swelling was mostly gone. Yeah, it was four weeks out, so. So I. And I was numb for three. I'm still a little bit numb on my left, but not on my right. Yeah. But it's coming. And now we're. I'm four months out right now, so I feel for your friend because I. And I don't know if doing all the lasers and other things is a good idea when you're still healing from a process, but if she looks good now, then good, good job, you know? Yeah. But it is a definitely different process because in four weeks, I'm camera ready. It's like, yeah, that's a lot longer, right, to go through the CO2. I was very nervous about it, and I told the doctor the day before, please go light on the CO2. Don't do the third step of it, this and that. And now I went back to him and I said, I messed up. I should have listened to you. I should have done the full CO2 and just gone through with it. It did help a lot, but my end result from the CO2 would have been better if I would have not been a chicken, you know.
[10:05]
A
Did you do it at the same time, the facelift?
[10:07]
B
Yes. It's painful that. The CO2 is actually probably more painful than the facelift itself. Like, I don't think anyone can do that without being under, like, getting that laser because it's so intense. And I had to wear ice packs for probably the first 48 hours. I was constantly. We just had, you know, different ice packs. They said to refrigerate some washcloths with water that did not touch it at all. So I would, you know, we have rotation and be like, kidda, bring me a new pa. You know, new. New ice packs. And so she take the old ones and put them back in the freezer. Bring me another round. And while those were freezing, we had a third pair. It was just a constant. Like, couldn't take it off.
[10:41]
A
Right. So for people listening that want to do this, what are your suggestions for finding the right doctor?
[10:48]
B
Oh, I mean, looking at my before and afters, I would only go to Dr. Lakey. But, you know, I think that you do have to do research, and I don't think you can. I would go with someone I would, you know, like me. Now you know who I've went to. You've seen the before and afters. Make sure you go to someone that you have seen his actual work done.
[11:06]
A
Right.
[11:07]
B
You've heard the journey, you've heard how he treats his patients, all of that. Or she. I don't. You know, whatever. Whatever the doctor is. But that would be my number one. You know, don't just call up whoever or go with the cheapest one or go with the one closest to you. Actually take the time and research it.
[11:25]
A
Right.
[11:25]
B
You know?
[11:26]
A
Right. 100%. Talk about recovery, because I feel like I see online all the time the misconceptions about recovery and how hard it actually is. So you're saying that it wasn't painful. I hear you saying, but the only part that was most painful was the CO2. But waking up, how did you feel?
[11:43]
B
Oh, waking up. I was cursing and said. I think they said my first words were, what the F did I do to myself? I think that was my first words to the whole staff. And I'm waking up, and I was in massive pain because my surgery was seven hours. My arms. Because they had me. I think they had hyperextended my arms. Arms for so long. I needed a dose of morphine. Right. When I woke up, I was, like, crying. My blood pressure spiked. My pain level. They could tell I was over a 10. I was just. Everything was hurting. So they. They got me under some more meds right away. And then they said that when they took me to my husband, they were like, sorry, we're bringing you grumpy legs.
[12:25]
A
Oh, my gosh.
[12:27]
B
And so he just laughed and was like, oh, goodness. Okay. But I. Honestly, that night, I was. I was pretty good on. And I did take pain meds for my boobs, and I didn't take pain meds other than first dose, but I. But then I. This one I took for. For two full days. And it wasn't that my. My facelift was painful, but the CO2 just outweighed it. And then I refused to keep taking the pain meds because I'm like, if I get up and start working, like, doing stuff around the house, because you're not supposed to do anything for, like, A week. Right. And I thought if I, if I get up and start doing stuff because I'm feeling good from the pain meds, I'm going to burst something or do. I just was worried. I went off the pain meds. I was at like a level probably six or seven laying in bed, just tylenoling it. And yeah, it was, it was painful, but I went through it and got, you know, slept a lot of it. Um, and then by week one, you don't really. It's. It's really the first week, week one after, you know, you still have the cast off. Then you go get your cast off on, on day seven. And then it's, it's. You're not really. It's. It's pretty easy.
[13:30]
A
What was your. The first time you looked in the mirror?
[13:34]
B
Well, I looked in the mirror in the car when I'm still kind of loopy, you know, because we're driving home and I pull the thing down and I'm just like, what did I do? You know, like, oh my gosh, Don, I think I made a mistake. And he's like, he rides the roller coaster so well. You know, he's just holding my hand. He's like, sweetie, you're fine. You're gonna be fine. It's all comical now, but yeah. And I, then I started seeing. The best part is week one and week two I was like taking selfies because I journaled the whole thing. I'm gonna, I'm gonna do another post where it shows week one, week two, and then the weekly one and I'm gon do some behind the scenes of me videoing in bed and stuff like that. Because I do think it's important for people to see and hear the journey of what it's like. Yeah. And then. But anyways, you know, John just rode the waves and was like, oh. But then week one and two, I was like, oh my gosh, you could totally see it already coming to fruition of what it was going to look like, you know. But then by, by week eight, when I did my before and afters, I was just like, oh my gosh, this is incredible.
[14:31]
A
So. And I've also read that like on day three or four, people have sort of a psychot. Not psychotic, but a little bit of a mental breakdown about what did I do I look worse than I did before? Because that's when the swelling really comes to fruition. Can you talk about that? Those couple days?
[14:49]
B
Oh, it was the worst. Yeah. That's when I was doing the whole, you Know I was. John was having to ride the wave with me because I really just hibernated in my room and the kids were scared of me, and friends would come over and I could tell they were scared of me. So I'd be like, okay, no more visitors. Like, we're just gonna. It's just John and I in this together. But day three and four, I was still probably pulling in and going, what did I do to myself? Why did you let me do this? You were supposed to protect me and tell me no. And he's like, I did tell you no.
[15:15]
A
Right? Right. I love that you. That you are able to show that you came out of it and that it's all normal. And so, you know. You know this because we talked about it before we got on air. No one else listening to my podcast know this, but I'm going to say it now. I am getting a facelift in two weeks. I'm traveling to New York City. I live in Palm beach now to do it. And I love being able to talk to you about it because it makes me feel better because I'm going through all those same up and down things, like, I shouldn't do it. My husband doesn't think I should do it. My daughter, I don't even think she really knows I'm doing it because I haven't really come to terms with telling her yet. And then.
[15:50]
B
How old is she?
[15:51]
A
She's 14.
[15:52]
B
Oh, yeah.
[15:54]
A
And when I talk to people about it, they're like, why would you do that? You're, you know, you're too young for that. You don't look like you need it. But like you said before, I see all that. I look in the mirror and I see everything. So here I am talking to you. And it's funny because I went and got all my stuff dissolved, like, three days ago, and I'm already. Before we started filming, I started crying because I'm so conscious of what I look like now because I've dissolved half my face. And it's so terrible to me because I have to now go through the next two weeks of looking like somebody that I don't know and then the process of, like, rebuilding it, but I'm doing it. I wanted to dissolve everything so that I could start fresh, but it's really uncomfortable for me because it's even worse than, you know.
[16:36]
B
Yeah. No one. No one notices that you dissolved anything. By the way, you look absolutely stunning. But I know that you feel it and you see it because that's what we know ourselves. So well, because we look at ourselves every day. But yeah, you. You going to New York is fascinating to me because it's like, are you going to stay there the whole week? The whole first week, then to get your cast off and then fly home?
[16:56]
A
Yeah. So basically I'm staying for 10 days and then I can stay longer, but I'm, you know, I'm going to a very well known surgeon who's done a bunch of people who you and I probably both know. And so I'm familiar with his work, which is why I picked him. A mutual friend introduced us and he seems amazing and I feel very comfortable with him. So he gave me his hotel, which is a hotel. We all know that my biggest fear is being in this hotel and running into people. Like I'm already like packing the scarves and the big sunglasses and making sure I have a room that I feel comfortable in. I'm not letting my husband come with me. Me actually, so. I know. So I'm gonna go two days before you. No one. So I.
[17:38]
B
A nurse?
[17:39]
A
Yeah, I hired a nurse.
[17:40]
B
Okay.
[17:40]
A
Okay.
[17:41]
B
You gotta have somebody there beside you.
[17:43]
A
Yeah. So I hired a nurse, she's gonna pick me up at the, at the surgical center, whatever it is, and apparently my surgery will be like six hours and she'll pick me up at like six o' clock at night, bring me to the hotel, stay for 24 hours or I guess they go in 12 hour shifts and I have one for like two days basically. And then I'm from New York, I lived in New York forever. So I have a bunch of friends that are there that can come take care of me. And the nice thing about this doctor is he comes to the hotel room every day so I don't have to go to the office. Yeah. I don't have to deal with that. But I am apparently getting drains. Did you have drains?
[18:15]
B
Yes, they are. Oh, no, no, I did not.
[18:18]
A
Okay.
[18:19]
B
I was thinking about my. Cause I had my reconstructive on my tatas right before, like six months before, and I had to have drains. I did. Not on my face, but maybe you're doing a little bit than I did. He only did 3 millimeters on me. Did your doctor quote you what he thought he would take?
[18:34]
A
No, not at all. I don't even know what that means, so I'll. I'll have to hear about that.
[18:38]
B
Very minimal. Basically, instead of being like that, he just did a very minimal amount.
[18:44]
A
Yeah, you do.
[18:45]
B
In the CO2.
[18:46]
A
So that's why I was asking you all those questions. Because I'm wondering if I should. I'm wondering if it's too painful. And I've seen what it looks like on people when you come out, and it's even worse than what your face looks like from the facelift.
[18:56]
B
But I.
[18:56]
A
Yes, I want to do it now, especially hearing from you.
[18:59]
B
Well, he said, and the way my doctor convinced me, because I did back out of it. Like, you know, I felt so bad for my poor. My doctor was amazing to even deal with me. But I backed out of it two days before when I went up for my. My pre op with him at his office. And I go, you know, I'm going to take the CO2. I don't want to do it now. And he's like, oh, why? And he was, like, seriously shocked. Like, like, okay, I don't understand. He's like, you know, that's the cherry on the cake. That's the one thing that's going to, like, your face is going to look great, but this is going to take you to the next level. It's going to elevate. And then, lo and behold, a patient walked in that had just gotten the whole thing, everything I was doing to a T done. And she hurt. Like, we somehow she kind of overheard or something, and she comes over and she's just like, I don't know what you're talking about. You need to do CO2. Like, she's like, it's painful, yes, but it is going to change your skin. Like, your skin is going to look so much better. And I just thought, okay. And the doctor was so good about my. Dr. Lakey was so good about saying, you know what? You don't have to do it. He's like, you need to be comfortable. I don't you doing anything you're not comfortable with. But he's like, I really. If it was my family member, I would push you to do it because you're going to go be under already and. And you might as well just knock it all out. You know, you're already going to be recovering. And so, you know, I just. I'm so thankful I did. I really think if you're already under, you should. You should. And I did. From my chest. I did all my. Like this, you know, your decolletage and my face.
[20:15]
A
Your face looks like it has no freckles. Obviously, I can't see your chest, but it. That's for me, too. I've been a sun goddess forever.
[20:21]
B
Yeah. We open. Yeah. So we. We are voters.
[20:24]
A
Yeah.
[20:24]
B
You know, you. So you just Said that about your. But being on your boat, so. Well, you're going to have to stay out of the sun now, though. Says you know that, right?
[20:31]
A
I do know that. I do know that. And I guess if I can look and have your skin, I guess it's. It's worth it. So. I know that. I know that. What you have to do after you get the CO2, for sure, for you.
[20:42]
B
Since you said you're going to New York and I don't know. Why aren't you letting your husband go? First of all, because I'm.
[20:47]
A
I don't want him to go through that with me. Like, listen, just like you, I've had the boobs done a couple of times. I could see the reconstruction, all that stuff. To me, that kind of surgery is super simple. I worry for him that he'll, like, he would never say it. He'd be like, oh, I'm here. You're good. Don't worry, you're still beautiful. I don't really want him to see that version of me for at least like six days. So he might come, like for that second weekend that I'm there or whatever.
[21:12]
B
So you're staying two full weeks? You're staying two full weeks?
[21:14]
A
Yeah, I think I'm going to stay like, I go. I go in on a Thursday and I'm allowed to basically go home the following Monday. So, you know, that's how long I'm going to stay. Well, no, that's only five days following the following. So, like.
[21:28]
B
Yeah, okay. Yeah. So. And I think you said you hired the nurse for two days. I think that's good. I think all you need is a full, full first two days is when I really needed a friend or John to be by my side. And I did not want to put that on my children, you know. And seeing my friend's reaction, I was like, okay, I should have hired a nurse probably, but, you know, I think that's. You'll be fine.
[21:49]
A
No, I'm excited.
[21:50]
B
All right.
[21:50]
A
Well, anyways, thank you so much for telling me all about that.
[21:52]
B
Don't back out. Don't allow that to creep into you and make the phone call to your doctor like I did, saying you're canceling your surgery. Yeah.
[21:58]
A
No. And it's funny because my fear is now so different than it was when I was doing my boobs or anything else. Right. And I wonder if it's because I have a 14 year old. I wonder if it's. Cause I just got married and I don't want like everything in My life is so good, and all of a sudden choosing to go into surgery seems reckless almost, which I've never thought like that before, which is a very strange thing to think. And then also on top of that, that it's my face, right?
[22:22]
B
So that's what it is. It's not because of everything else you're saying. It's because you can't cover this up. Now if, let's say you don't like how much he took or if he didn't take enough or if, you know, I don't know, it's just like all those thoughts come in because I'm always like, I can just cover that up. That's why this never made me nervous. It's like, even swimsuit, just cover it. Wear a one piece. I don't know. But this is, this is like what everyone sees. We're both on camera, so it's like you're kind of in trouble if you have a bad job done.
[22:48]
A
Right?
[22:48]
B
But like, said, you asked me what the most important thing telling a woman going in for a facelift. You said you went to a. You chose this New York doctor because you know several people that have used him. That is the number one tip because you, you then have seen his work and you have people that have told you from their mouth and you've seen the befores and afters. That's the number one tip for finding a doctor.
[23:07]
A
And I would say, too, not just to look at people online in their before and afters. Like, you obviously saw people in person. I'm sure I have seen people in person. And when I look at them and I'm like, wow, you look unbelievable. You look legitimately 10 to 15 years younger, if not more than that. And the, the, the age that they're like these people that are 65 and look so young and their skin looks amazing, and it's not a filter. And, you know, so many things online can be altered. So that, that was my, you know, the, the thing that tipped the scale for me for sure.
[23:39]
B
Ben, good job.
[23:41]
A
Yeah. So, all right, let's go back to who you are, because I know a lot of people interview you about the housewives and about your wedding and about all this. And I want to get into that, but I really, you know, I don't know that much about you before you became famous. And I really think that people would be somewhat interested in that, people that listen to my show. So can you talk about, like, where you came from, what kind of family you grew up in? I know you're a very religious person. So how you got into religion, all that stuff.
[24:06]
B
Wow. That's how much time you got. I mean, I'm 49, so no. But I'm a Missouri girl, so Midwestern girl, grew up in a town of 18,000 people. Hannibal, Missouri, which is the Mark Twain town. My best friend from 2 years old from Hannibal is still my best friend now. So we've gone through high school, college weddings, married, you know, marriage. Two marriages each at least. I mean, like, we've done it all together. She so that's amazing. It's just a very small town feel. But I knew in. I nannied for a couple that were. They started babysitting them, obviously, in Hannibal. And then they moved out to California. And then they flew me out to nanny for them for the summer because I'd been their babysitter in Hannibal. And I was like, I think I was 16. And I came back from there and I said to my mom, I am moving to California. I am not being here much longer. As soon as I get out of college, this girl's out of town. And so I did that. I actually was married to my college sweetheart at the time, for a year. Only a year. So that was my first marriage. And we applied right after high school or college. I' sorry. We both applied to go to one of the coasts, either New York or west coast, you know, California. And then we said, whoever got the better job offer, that's where we'll go. Well, he was a computer engineer and got a really good job offer to nanuet New York. So it was right by Jersey. So we moved there. I hated living in New York. I love visiting New York. Hated living there. And so then he applied to transfer to California because he knew that's where my heart and soul was. And that that's kind of what happened. And I had a marketing degree. I was working for Sprint at the time in Hannibal because I knew the cell phone service. I knew the marketing manager at Sprint, and so she had me come on as a salesperson, and she's like, I will move you up. You know, I'll get you into the marketing department. Which was a dream. It was like, oh, my gosh, that'd be amazing. And then once I was in the cell phone industry, I decided, you know, by the time we moved to California, I just told my ex, or he's now my ex, but my first husband, Jeff is his name. I just said, I'm not happy. I want a new job. I want to look. And he goes, then do it like just do it then. Cause he was making really good money at the time for a new starter salary. So then I applied at this little gym that was a private owned gym called the Wave Health and Fitness center in Poway, California, and applied for the marketing manager at that gym. Got the job. They said I was way overqualified, but I got the job and ended up becoming like the gym manager right away. Like within first six months I had my certification to be a trainer. I was managing the health club and I was running the marketing department. So it was, it was just. I had like 72 employees, I think, and I was having to hire and fire people and that was scary and it was hard. But I loved my job. I mean, I loved it. And then I divorced him. And then I met my second husband, the father of my children, pretty soon after that and he, you know, we got married and had babies pretty fast. Yeah.
[27:02]
A
And where did religion come in?
[27:05]
B
I think I was probably my, I mean my family all like goes to church. They were kind of, you know, like my grandparents and we were always kind of the go to church on Easter Sunday and go to church on Christmas Eve and you know, that kind of thing. And I always wanted to go more. I don't know where it came. It was my relationship with God, but I always just wanted to go more. So I would ask my mom from like 12 years old on. I couldn't. Even younger than that, probably eight. You know, I wanted the donut. I'm not gonna lie, I was the kid that wanted the donut. When you go to the church and you know, they serve the orange juice and donuts back then, before the church started. But I also would just beg her every Sunday. I'd be like, mom, is today a day we can go? And then if she couldn't take me, I'd call my friends and ask if one of parents could take me. And then I got to college and I found a little, you know, startup church there that I would go to on my own. And you know, so I. It's always just been a major part of my life and I've always had a very strong connection with God or, you know, whatever person, you know, I don't know what your faith is, but you know, always a strong connection.
[28:04]
A
A connection. It's funny that you say that because when I was little my mom sort of forced me to go. I grew up in, I was born in Alaska, in Anchorage, Alaska and my parents got divorced. And then I, I moved to New York City with my mother when I was about 5, and she forced me to go to Brick Church. She forced me to sing in the choir, and I hated it. And it was so uncomfortable. And, you know, I loved singing. So they gave me solos. So I went because I thought that was fun and interesting to me. But to hear the way that they did the sermons was too much for me. It was a little bit more. You know, it wasn't like, as progressive as today where they make. You know, there's the music, though.
[28:39]
B
Cause Catholic is very.
[28:40]
A
It was Presbyterian, but it was just very, very old school, I guess. And now listen, I am person that then grew up and we would only go on Easter or Christmas. And I actually loved that. I thought it was really fun. And, you know, family. It was something to do with your family. And I looked forward to it. And now we live across the street from a huge church, which is like one of those mega churches. And I actually. So we don't go often, but I will say, when we go, I'm the first one that walks in. I'm like, this is crazy. And at the end, I'm like, Jesus. You know, like, I'm so into it. And. And I actually do. Have you ever heard of Hillsong?
[29:17]
B
Yes.
[29:18]
A
Okay. So. Okay, some people. And so I went once because I was working with them to like, donate backpacks when I owned a store years ago. And so they brought me through the back and I went through the green room, and I'm meeting all these celebrities in there, and they put me in the front row so I can see what they do. And I'm like, this is the best looking group, group of people I have ever seen. Where are all these people coming from? And their hands are up and they're screaming. The guy I was with, I was with a friend of mine and her husband, he's tallying up how much he thinks they're making. He's like, this is insane. This is crazy. By the end, we walked in, totally skeptical. By the end, we had our hands up. We're singing all the songs. We're like, in Jesus name. Like, I get it. I get that it becomes a part of your life.
[30:02]
B
You feel the spirit when you're in
[30:03]
A
There, though, don't 100%.
[30:05]
B
Like, I'll get a chill or a goosebump when I'm in there, because I'm like, okay, Father, I feel you. Like, I know I can tell you're real because you're his.
[30:12]
A
His.
[30:13]
B
His spirit is there in that building when you come. I mean, some people, you know, you can do this all at home, too. And there's times when. A lot of times when John and I just, you know, Skype in on to church, from. To our. Our little church. We have. We love our little church, but Skype in and just watch it from Sunday from home because we've got too much to go on or too. You know, whatever. But. And you can fill it there. But when you're in the house of the Lord.
[30:32]
A
Yeah.
[30:32]
B
You feel it. There's no denying that he doesn't come in and touch your heart and soul and say, I'm here.
[30:39]
A
I agree. And there's something to be said for pastors that really tell a good story, because when I was younger, it wasn't as good and you couldn't follow along, but sometimes.
[30:46]
B
Or boring. It was boring.
[30:48]
A
Boring. But now I'll be flipping through the channels, and I swear to God, on the. On a Sunday, I will stop at Joel Olsteen and I'll, like, listen. And I'm like, what? This guy has.
[30:57]
B
He's not amazing.
[30:58]
A
He's amazing.
[31:00]
B
So my church that my children grew up in, I'm not going to name the church we go to now. I love them, but I, you know, but I grew up with my children. We went to Free Chapel, which is just Jensen Franklin's church. He's got him, you know, a huge one in Georgia. I think it's 10,000 congregation in Georgia. And then he's got the one here. Really blew up when we were. The decade we were going. Very good friends of them, love them to death. He's now pastoring for Trump. He's like, Trump's. He's in all the photos of. I'm like, oh, my God. My pastor just went from here to pastoring the president of the United States.
[31:32]
A
That.
[31:32]
B
Not many people can say that, right? But he was a lot like Joel. He kept humor in it. He. You never wanted you. You were like, on the edge of your seat, laughing, all, like, waiting for the end of it. And he'd still get the word in there. And so I agree. I will listen to Joel Osteen, too. He is very amazing.
[31:48]
A
Yeah, totally. So tell me how you found out about Real Housewives in general, or did you watch the show and how did. How did they contact you or how'd you get on?
[31:58]
B
It is such a funny story. And it's so different than what they do now. You know, they have lines of 5,000 women applying to be on net. This was not how it was on season five. I got on on season five. So I would have been. I would have. What happened is I'm friends with Gina Q. Which we should say a prayer for her. She's fighting cancer right now, bless her soul. But she was a friend of mine. And we went to the premiere for the original five with Vicki, you know, Lori, her. Joe de la Rosa. So it was at this place called Tentation. So we were at that premiere, and then I would always just. Gina and I would see each other at Mastro's or at a charity event or doing real est buying, you know, all those ways. And she comes up to me at Mastro's one night. It was the end of season four. And at that point, casting always said, do you have a friend or someone you want to bring on? And she said my name. And so she gave him my name. And she's like, hope you don't mind, but they'll be calling you. And I'm like, gina, I have three little rugrats I do not want to get on a TV show. You know, I'm like, I don't want to. Sure enough, it was like, the next day. I'm not kidding. The next day they called, and then you had to. You know, that was your first meeting. Just a phone call. It was probably 45 minutes.
[33:07]
A
Minutes.
[33:07]
B
Then they send you. If they're interested in you. They send you this huge questionnaire. I'm talking. It was like, 700 questions, okay? They want to know how serious you are. And I'm sitting there filling it out with kids crawling around, and, mommy, mommy. And I'm just like, oh, my gosh, I really want to do this. And so I filled that out, and then I get the next phone call. This was the process. It was before. It is not this. From what I hear now, it is nothing like this now. Yeah. Then I get the phone call, okay, we want to come tape at your house. So then they came to my house and wanted to just do an interview with just me and follow me around a little bit without my husband then, which was. Jim is my husband at the time, my baby. And then they want to come back again and film again. And now with Jim and the whole family and the whole dynamic. And at that point is, you know, and then I had to meet a couple of the other producers off camera at, like, restaurants and stuff, the higher ups. And then after all those meetings, you know, they're like, you're in the top three. And then, you know, I did not in a million years think I was gonna get it. Like, I don't have you Know, I'm a mom and I'm just kind of boring. I think they liked the Christianity, you know, of it, but. Yeah. And then they just called and said, well, you got it. And I was like, wow, okay. Because I think one of the other women had a private plane. And I'm like, I beat out the chick with a private plane because we didn't have a. We had nice houses, but we did not have a private jet. Right? Yeah. So it was just, it was interesting.
[34:23]
A
So did you have a job at the time or were you a mom at that point?
[34:27]
B
I was a full time mom. I mean, basically I quit my career when I met Jim because we had decided that I was going to be. This was just our. The way we wanted to run our family. I wanted to be the stay at home full time mom and be on every committee at the school, be at their classes room mom for everybody. Like, I wanted that job to be my job. And it was for 14 years. But then once I got the show, I did start dress lines in other companies, you know, and businesses too. So. Yeah. But when I got the job, the original first year, I was just a stay at home mom.
[34:58]
A
So when you got the job, were you like, this is so exciting. I'm gonna be famous. Let me think about what I'm gonna do with this. And then you decided on the career path or were you, you know, were you and Jim, like, I don't know how this is gonna change our lives, but this will just be a fun new journey. Like, what, what was your mindset going into it?
[35:14]
B
More. More the second. I was very naive to the. I. I wasn't sitting there thinking, oh, I'm gonna be famous. Because back then it wasn't as big, it wasn't as big of a hit as it, you know, it became a hit by, you know, five. I mean, I guess it was a kind of a hit, but I think, I think around season four or three, maybe three, when Tamara got on is when it really started to kind of take off. But I didn't really think, oh, I'm gonna be famous. Oh, now my life's gonna change. And it's like, I'm gonna be at the gas station and people are gonna be taking photos when my hair's. I haven't even brushed my teeth yet. Cause I'm getting a coffee. Yeah, I don't know. But I never, I didn't take it that far. I just thought, yeah, this is kind of something fun. And, you know, and I knew I would probably start something on the side, just because. Why are you not going to try when you have the. The platform to do it? Right? Yeah, So I. But it was. I was very naive, I think, looking back. And I was only 33, so three. Three new children that were all three years and under. So, you know, just chaos.
[36:11]
A
And you were on for three seasons, am I correct? Four seasons.
[36:14]
B
Seven and eight.
[36:15]
A
Okay. Five, six, seven, eight. Yeah.
[36:17]
B
Yeah. So season seven. Season seven, I quit. And they asked me back, begged me back, wanted me back, whatever, talked me into it. And then. So season eight, I'm thinking, oh, okay, I'll stay. Okay. This wasn't so bad. And then they fired me.
[36:28]
A
Oh, my gosh. So while you're doing this and it's blowing up, I mean. Cause, listen, I don't. I have. I've watched the show certain years or whatever, but you are a standout cast member. Like, I wouldn't have remembered that. You were like, we're in, what, season 20 now? That seems like many seasons ago. I feel like you're part of. You're part of O.C. you know what I mean? Like, I don't feel like you haven't been on for that many seasons.
[36:52]
B
You know, it was all just the Jesus jugs. Thanks to Tamara. Thanks Tamara, for daming me. That's the only reason you feel that?
[36:58]
A
No, not at all.
[36:59]
B
That just took me off.
[37:00]
A
Yeah, it did, actually. But I always remember you as the pretty one. I always remember you as the religious one. But, like, how did you feel being on it? Did you feel famous? Like, did your life completely change?
[37:12]
B
Yeah. Oh, it. I mean, not that I felt famous, but it did. It did change. I mean, your. Anything you do is getting written and talked about. You know, the funny thing is, I think I'm one of the front of the COVID This was when tabloids still wasn't as much online. It was actually a hard copy. So you're in the grocery store and I'm splashed on the front of one of the tabloids and it's like, Alexis and Jim are getting divorced. I'm like, at that point, girl, we weren't even talking about divorce. Like, it wasn't even a thought. I'm like, I was staying in the marriage till the day I died. You know, at that point, so. So it was just so crazy to be like, oh, my God, I'm here in this supermarket and there's that, and that's so not true. And I've got my kids and I'm shopping and it's just like, it was all just. It Was a lot. But then you. You just kind of. It becomes your new norm.
[37:53]
A
Yeah. You know, for sure. And do you feel like had you not done the show, you wouldn't have eventually gotten divorced?
[38:00]
B
No, no. This show had nothing to do with my divorce. No, I know that's a misconception, and I know that that's, you know, it is kind of the housewife curse, though. It is. It's known, you know, and Jim and I even talk like we went into therapy before we signed on the show and we wrote. Wrote a contract to each other, like, about the show because we were like that serious about keeping our marriage number one and not letting the show because it's like it was only season five of the Housewives, but in that four seasons, a lot of them had already gotten divorced. Tamara was just going through one. Vicky was in the. It was just a lot of breakups and things were happening. So we wrote a contract to each other to try to, you know, make sure we were gonna stay in line with each other for what we expected the show to try to tear apart.
[38:44]
A
Right. And do you feel like you made some really good friends? Do you feel like at the end of the day, when you did get fired, were you like, this was a nightmare, I should never have done this. I've changed, or what? How did you leave feeling?
[38:56]
B
I left feeling grateful for the opportunity. I left feeling like, you know what? God always knows the plan and other doors will open. Or now I can really focus on being a full time mom because I had to pull back a little during filming and stuff from being the room mom. I might only be able to do one kid's room mom job instead of all three of them. When I wasn't on the show, I did all three and I was on like four other committees. So it was like I got to have a little bit of my life back in normalcy. But, you know, things didn't slow down because then I was on different. Several different shows just kept popping up and, you know, things kept happening. So.
[39:31]
A
Right. Can we talk about your divorce a little bit? Because then at this point, you've gotten it. You're heading into your second divorce and did things change for you? Did you feel differently about divorce? Did you feel differently about being single?
[39:45]
B
What do you mean?
[39:46]
A
Like getting divorced a second time and being religious. You know, I'm just wondering if that and having now three kids under you, if. And having done the show and your life is so in the spotlight, did you feel differently about divorce? Did you want it to stay Together longer for public perception. Did you feel like you were better off on your own? I mean, where was your head? I'm making that up as I'm asking
[40:07]
B
you, but yeah, yeah, those are fair questions. And I actually went through every single one of those emotions. Everything you just said is, is spot on for the roller coaster that happens when you're into, you know, thinking about divorce. But keep in mind I quit season or I was fired. Season 2000 or no 2000. I think it would have been around 2013 or 12, which would have been season eight. Okay. And we were still intact and everything was okay at that point. And then, then slowly things started to happen that just, you know, in my mind at that point I was thinking, I gotta make it till the kids are 16 because I've gotta have, I want them to have a car. I want them to be able to drive and just stick in there, you know, stick and stick in and just keep going through. And we were in therapy and we, I mean that's kind of the progression of what happened. At first it was like, no, we're just in therapy. Every Tuesday's our solo day and Thursdays are our couple day. And then we would have date night on couples night, you know, go to a quick early dinner and get home to put the kids to bed. Bed on Thursday. That was just our normal thing to try to salvage and turn the marriage around. And then after a year or two of that, it was like I just didn't feel, I didn't. I started to see that this, I might, for the well being of everyone might have to start considering it's not going to work, which is really hard for someone especially. I would never have walked down the aisle a second time, nor had three beautiful babies with someone that I thought about I was going to divorce. You know, it's just not going to happen. I wouldn't ever put. I don't think any woman or man does that, you know. So. Yeah. So then when it started to become palpable that I needed. It would be better if we did terminate the marriage. Then it was just, then it was just feeling the mom guilt. It was just so much guilt, so much angst and, and, and knowing that I was going to be all over the tabloids and knowing that every step we made from that point on it was just going to, we were going to be in spotlight for. And my kids were 10 and 9, 9 and 10 or 10, 10 and 11 when we first got divorced. So they were at a very unique age too. Like, you know, they're becoming almost teen. They're almost 13 years. They're going. Having a lot of emotions going on. My one child was. You know, we knew was. I was feeling the sense of LGBTQ coming or. And it was just like. And now they only have me 50%, you know, but then they moved in. They moved in with me. Pretty soon it was only, like, two years later, I think. And then they were here full time. So then that mom guilt felt started to go away a little, because I had them full time, you know?
[42:33]
A
But that's amazing. And how, like, in the years between your last divorce from Jim and then finding love again, were you just a single mom on your own? Like, how. How did your life go being on your own? I did it for 10 years in between, and there was some rough times. There were some great times. And then when I got to the last couple years before I did find. Find who I'm with now, I just was like, I'm never getting married again. Like, I'm never gonna find someone, and it's gonna be too hard. I have too much in my life. I don't know. I don't see how I can ever blend a life with what I've created. And I felt like I was the man and the woman in my life, and I was like, no one's gonna be able to come in that I'm gonna have enough respect for that, can handle it the way I handle it. You know what I mean?
[43:17]
B
Yeah. I think I went through a lot of those emotions. But the funny thing is, Rachel, is I got engaged probably a year and a half after our divorce to another man who was engaged to him for four and a half or five years, and. And then I had literally. I kind of. I think in my gut knew that I was going to end that relationship, too. But then when my mom passed away, I mean, I could feel. I could kind of feel that something was not right in our relationship, even though we were engaged, like, there was just something off. Because when we went on our cruise, I had this. It was one of our last trips we took together, but I had this. This thing made. And I only put me and my kids in that photo. It was like one of those ceramic things that light up. So it's like a. It's like a sculpture kind of thing.
[43:59]
A
And.
[44:00]
B
And I. When I was having that ordered on the cruise ship, all the kids were downstairs, and he was downstairs in our, you know, rooms. And I left him out of that. And I only had me and the kids created in the Sculpture. And so. And. And so I think that that was kind of a. A really huge tell to me. But then when my mom died, he. I went through the whole thing on my own. Like, he was not there. He went to. You know, it was just. It was just. I was just. I needed him the most. And I was watching my mom get taken away in a body bag and then having to drive to the airport the next morning by myself to get on a plane when I'm just at rock bottom, right? And so then I pretty much broke up with him right after that. And then the funniest part of this story is I was exactly where you were just at where you said, I will never marry again. I was at that point, I'm like, you know what? I'm just. I'm doing this on my own with my kids. This is me and my kids, and I am fine. And then three or four months later, lo and behold, I think my mom sent John to me because I felt him walk in the restaurant. And I didn't even know anything about him, but I felt, like, this air come up in my face like it was my mom. Like, wake up, Alexis. You know? And then, you know, I turned over, and my gay friends with me were like, oh, that John Jansen just walked in. I was like, oh, okay, who's that? And so then I'm like, googling. And they're like, oh, he's on the housewife show, too. And so then I was trying to figure out who he has, and then it was, like, history from there. It was, wow. I mean, it is a fast movement, but we, you know, we tried to stay friends. And then he knew my whole situation and knew about my ex fiance that I just ended things with. But, I don't know, it just. The way it worked out is how it was supposed to be.
[45:41]
A
So wait, tell me about that moment in the restaurant. Did you go up to him? Like, how did you guys end up speaking?
[45:46]
B
No, no, no. And I would never have gone up to him, but so Ricky, my two friends were sitting there. We'd already paid our check. Like, we'd had our dessert. We paid our check. I was not drinking at all at the time. I was trying to heal naturally for my mom. Cause I was going through a dark time. Such a dark time. And I went through a hard, you know, using the bottle to be a number. And so I was just trying to be better about it. But anyway, so I was ready to go. I'm in high heels. I am not in the, you know, not in the mood to stay any longer. And then John was with someone that I knew from charity events in town. Town. And so she walks over and sits down, just plops down at the booth, and we just start chit chatting. And she's so excited to see me, and I'm so excited to see her. And then, lo and behold, John ends up getting sat without us. Unbeknownst to us, he was just waiting for his name to be called to go to the next table in the booth right next to us. So we're here and his booth's here with all his group of friends. And so then she goes, this is the best part of this whole story is she goes, hey, John wanted to come meet you. Is that okay? And I thought, I never had a guy ask to come meet me before, but okay. So then I like, scoot over and he comes over and sits down. And I was like. I could feel like an energy between us, but I was so anti anyone at the time and anti any even dating anyone or even even looking in anyone's direction. Right. It was not. It was not on my radar. And then they had convinced us all to go to the nightclub, you know, to a dancing place right after that to hear some live music. And then, you know, he offered a boat day for all of us. And we're all like, okay, yeah, because I just sold my boat with my ex fiance. I'm like, boat me up. Yes, we'll go.
[47:17]
A
So.
[47:17]
B
And then, you know, we just. We ended up like, because we had. He made me put his number, my number in his phone. I mean, how boring is that? And I said no at first, but then he just still got it. And when I typed my number in, his number was almost the same as mine. I can't say it, but let's say if my number is 1, 2, 3, 4000, his number was 3, 2, 3, 4000, right? I look down at him, I'm like, that's really freaking weird. Like, that's really weird. And then we find out out a year later, that girl that said John wanted to come sit with me, he never asked her that. She did that and was lying. So he came over and that. And it was all just. It was just because of her saying that. And so she. She got acknowledgement at our wedding for being the cupid.
[48:05]
A
I was just gonna ask if she got acknowledgement for being the matchmaker. That's amazing. So how did it feel? So you said it was pretty quick. How did it feel like blowing up and being such a public relationship? Relationship in the news so quick.
[48:18]
B
It's early stunk. I mean, we did not like it. We tried so hard. I mean, we were. We were only going to, like, his private yacht club when we. We were really friends at first, and we were on the phone until 2 or 3am and we were literally friends. We were not. We were not making it another step towards any direction because we both knew, like, if we do this, it's going to, you know, like, first of all, we're going to lose a friendship that we were really enjoying being friends and having a shoulder to lean on. And then it turned into like, okay, we can't fight this feeling anymore. And then it turned into us sneaking around, and then our people at our yacht club were taking pictures and sending it to, like, TMZ and things. And so then it was like. It was just like, we just. We gotta get ahead of it and just like, stop trying to deny it. And then we did, and it was just. I'm so glad that's behind us.
[49:05]
A
Yeah, for sure. But wasn't it a big misconception? Because me as somebody who. Who was following that only. Cause it would come up on my feed or whatever, but I wasn't somebody that lived around there. I wasn't somebody who really followed the gossip on the show at all. I think the misconception of how it was being written is that the assumption was that there was an overlap or that you had been friends with Shannon and so that's why it was so sticky and gross. But none of those things are really true, right?
[49:30]
B
No, no. I had never formally met Shannon except when. When she was a little tipsy, right when she got Housewives and she came, you know, kind of introduced herself. And I did not even know at that time that she was gonna be a housewife. And none of it had registered. I just was kind of like, okay, well, I have no idea what's going on right now. And then we find out a year later that she got it. And then I never talked to her, never seen her, never filmed a show with her. Nothing. Nothing. So just being in the same town, I think, makes it kind of sticky. But here's the thing that I always said to everyone and to John, when we were debating, are we gonna take this next step or are we gonna stay tonic and just try to keep it at friend level? I even said to him, I go, the problem is, you know, by the time we're 40, I was 47 or 6 at the time, and he was 61 or whatever it was 60 I'm like, by the time we're this age, there is nobody that doesn't have a past boyfriend or girlfriend or someone that might know somebody that dated somebody else. You know what I mean? It's just the cobweb of the whole thing. We're just older. And so I just tried to let it roll off like that, but because
[50:34]
A
it was in the public eye and because you did have so many mutual friends, or maybe not so many, but friends in the public.
[50:40]
B
TV show. We had a TV show and we were both OC Housewives, so they thought. So it's actually the year I got let go in 2008. 2009 was the year she started, because that's what everybody thinks is because they were so close of me leaving and her ex me exiting and her coming on that. That we actually overlapped, but we never did.
[50:57]
A
Right. Memories blend and they see you and they see her, and they just think you were together.
[51:01]
B
And I get that. I get that. I think that I just knew, you know, and everyone kept saying, just give it time. Once everybody sees the truth of how it all unfolds, you know, and it does just take time, to be honest. I mean, you know that being in the public eye, it just. Sometimes misconceptions are there. And then it. It kind of. People go, oh, okay, I don't believe that anymore. Now I get it. You know, so.
[51:20]
A
And then how did you feel about being brought back? And then the storyline, obviously being about your relationship and Shannon, you know, so how. How did that go over for you as a person?
[51:30]
B
That was the hardest. That was probably one of the hardest years of. Well, for sure, on tv, but it just was not an organic. Um. I felt like it was not. I didn't get a voice of what my side really was and what was truly going on, which felt very unfair to me. Um, and it did. It was unfair to me the way. I mean, we all saw the episodes. Yeah. So. Yeah, but. And I get it. I know. I know why they had to go that direction. But, like, I. Yeah.
[52:00]
A
Well, it's interesting because it. They tried to pull it off, and everybody tried to pull it off as being scandalous, but you end up getting married. So it. You kind of, you know, you win in that scenario. It wasn't just to fling, to make everyone mad, or four tabloids, you know, for headlines.
[52:13]
B
A lot of people thought that. A lot of people thought that John and I were literally together just to get back on the show or just because we wanted to make a splash. And it's like, oh, my gosh. If they knew behind the scenes how much John and I were like, should we just move to, like Bali? Or like, should we. What should we do? Should we just get the heck out of dodge? You know that we have six kids? And it's like, okay, that's not realistic, but it sounds good, right? You know?
[52:37]
A
So you got married October 3rd. Am I getting the date right? So you're coming up almost on your one year anniversary. How's it going?
[52:43]
B
I know. Wow. I know.
[52:45]
A
Is it great? Has it been a good year?
[52:48]
B
It's been an amazing year, yeah. Oh, it's. It's. And I even said to him, because it is my third marriage. I mean, I don't really count my first one because I was so young and it was only a year. And I even thought about backing out of that as I'm walking down the aisle with my dad and he's like, lex, you can say no. And I'm like, I can't because all these people are here. We were in a church and we were doing it the old fashioned way. You know, I'm like, no, but. And anyway, so this past year, I looked back at him like on the day after our wedding, and I woke up and I go, does it feel different to you now that we're married? Because we were already kind of like together every day and our kids loved each other. It was just all already there. And he goes, yeah, it actually does. And I said, I know. It does feel different, you know, and so, I don't know, it's just something about doing it before. God, I'm sure. Did you feel that way because you just got married?
[53:34]
A
Yeah, I did. Well, we. We did it in my backyard in a big. In a big wedding. But we. No, I felt different. And it's funny though, because I still feel like we're dating. Do you know what I mean? Because we didn't actually date that long. He proposed to me on our eighth month anniversary. Our stories are very similar.
[53:52]
B
Because that's the same, though. Yeah. Yeah.
[53:55]
A
And when we, when we first met, we started as friends and he took me on his boat and, you know, I was like, I'm. I don't want to date somebody because I don't want to have to break up with anybody again. And who knows if I'm going to be into this or not, you know, it wasn't like, it's too.
[54:10]
B
And your kids. It's like, I don't want to bring. Because I just broken off with Drew. I'm Like, I don't want to bring another guy around with my. So I needed to wait. But then my kids were finding out about it, and they're just like, mom, we're hearing. Like, why aren't you. Why aren't we meeting him? Because it was coming out in the press, and I'm just like, oh, my gosh. Okay. But right.
[54:25]
A
Right. So. But no, like, getting married was so fun and exciting, and then to now look at him be like, it's so weird that we're married. Like, this is so fun that you. You have, like, a witness to your life, you know, like a life partner that you know is gonna go through it with you. And that's the nice thing about getting married older in your life. Like, this is my third marriage also. Oh, my gosh. I know. And so I just feel like, you know, it's very interesting, and I'm very happy to know that this is my last one. You know what I mean? And it makes me feel better about getting through the day, you know?
[54:59]
B
And you have your best friend now.
[55:01]
A
That's right.
[55:01]
B
We have a lot of similarities that I did not know about.
[55:03]
A
I know. That's funny. And you said your birthday's in January, too. Too. Right.
[55:06]
B
January 19th. What's yours?
[55:08]
A
January 30th.
[55:11]
B
Okay, so are you Aquarius?
[55:13]
A
I'm Aquarius. I'm Aquarius. Okay.
[55:15]
B
Yeah, yeah.
[55:15]
A
But. Okay, so talk to me about your wedding day. Did anything go wrong that we don't know about?
[55:20]
B
Oh, gosh, yes. But it's so funny, because this wedding. And I'm interested to hear your side on it, too, since you just got married. This wedding, I did not really care if anything went wrong. I was like, you know what? I think it's just maturity and age and just knowing that your people are there that love you. You're doing it before God. We had a very spiritual ceremony, and God was invited everywhere in our ceremony and the. And the end of the reception. But we. The hors d' oeuvres came out an hour late, which to me, is a big deal, because the people have been there for a long time, and we're doing photos, and so that was a big deal, but no one noticed it because the cocktails were flowing, and all my guests are like, we didn't notice. We didn't notice. You know, But I'm. I'm wondering if they're saying that because they don't want to hurt my feelings or if they were like, yeah, we were starving, but I think we probably wasted most of the hors d', oeuvres, which stinks because we got. We had really good ones and we'd taken a lot of time and they were just, you know, I really wanted the guests to enjoy it and I hate wasting food, so that bothered me. But as far as hiccups on the, like going through. Oh, I cut my finger right before. And I'm talking. It was. I don't have any nails on right now, so forgive my hands, but it was gushing. And I'm in my wedding dress. So my son, who's a paramedic or emt comes, you know, is in my room with us. Cause we're getting ready to leave. And so he's got my hand up and he's got. He's holding. And he's like, mom, don't get upset. I'm like, I'm fine, honey, I'm fine. And he's squeezing it and he's like, give me some super glue. And so he super glues my finger so I can get. Cause I'm supposed to be walking out in the next two minutes. And that was a pretty funny hiccup that we laugh about. And I had to carry. So with my bouquet, I had to have my finger wrapped and I had to carry it. So I had to kind of hide my finger with my little kerchief. The whole ceremony as I'm reading vows and stuff. No one really picked up on it. They thought it was there to dry the tears. But I'm like, it's holding my finger together. So those are a couple funny things. Yeah. What about you?
[57:10]
A
Well, for me, it's funny because our minister was projectile vomiting since the night before, so he couldn't show. He called me like, as the rehearsal dinner is starting and we had 160 people fly in. And then we had this huge wedding in the backyard. And so we were doing the rehearsal dinner and he could like, as the rehearsals basically getting together. And we're about to start at 4:00 on the night before. He calls me. He goes, I landed earlier this morning. I can't stop throwing up. I'm not going to be able to make it. So he shows up right before the wedding and he had still been projectile vomiting. And his name is Tim Story. He's like a very famous, like, do you know him? And he's amazing and is such a good speaker. And he also walked me down the aisle. We're very, very close. So he couldn't. He could hardly walk down the aisle. He was like stepping on my dress. And he didn' know the plan cuz he hadn't been there the night before. And it was really choreographed because there was all these people. Anyway, he was great. The second thing that happened that went wrong is that.
[58:09]
B
Wait, did he. Wait, hold on.
[58:10]
A
Did he.
[58:11]
B
Did he end up doing your ceremony?
[58:12]
A
He did do it, yes, but it wasn't.
[58:14]
B
What a champ.
[58:15]
A
I know, total champ. But he. It wasn't this big moment like I thought it would be with him because he's such a good speaker and so he was a best minister, right. So I thought it would be great. And he could kind of hold it. He wasn't great at holding it together, but he did and it was awesome. And he. We didn't throw up, so that was good. The other thing was, is that.
[58:33]
B
And you didn't get sick? No, you didn't get sick.
[58:35]
A
I never caught anything. No, my biggest fear is throwing up. So I can't be around anyone that throws up. So anyway, it was fine. But the other funny thing was we started it was like a three day event and on Monday we got married. New Year's Eve was Wednesday. It was 80 degrees, sunny, beautiful. The day of our wedding, it goes down to 40 degrees. So everyone shows up in like fur coats. And then we had to bring in that day like 11 heat lamps for outside. It was a total disaster. So that stuff. And you couldn't help it, you know what I mean? So. But everything. There was a bunch of other little things that went wrong. No one else would've noticed. And it was fun and it gives us good stories. So it was a great time.
[59:13]
B
Cocktails and the 40 degrees goes away. It's fine.
[59:16]
A
Totally, totally. Did you have a best moment of the night?
[59:20]
B
Oh gosh, I think there's two. And they're kind of just like, okay, boring, probably for some people. But my first one that I remember was when Mary Dan, my wedding planner's Mary Dan. And it's funny, she planned my first wedding to Jim too.
[59:34]
A
Oh, no way.
[59:35]
B
Get that story. And so the funniest part about that is I'm interviewing wedding planners and it's like, you know, John wanted to get married, right? In a year like he wanted. And he's like, we can get married in six months. I'm like, sweetheart, you are not. You're crazy. There's no way we could do this in six months. He's like, I could get this done in six months. I'm like, no, you can't. I don't even have a wedding planner. I'm in that process. So it was like, first month of being engaged. I'm trying to find a wedding planner. Because he wanted to do October. We found the venue. They only had a Friday, Friday open. They didn't have any Saturdays for, like, two and a half years. So we chose the Friday. And so when we found out it was exactly a year out, not even. Yeah, like, nine, ten, ten months out or something. I then was in bed one night, and I'm like, God, I really just want to use Mary, because she knows me. She did fabulous. But I doubt she's even a wedding planner anymore. So that next morning, he was already asleep, I think. And so the next morning, I, like, tapped him, and I'm like, hey, sweetie. He's like, yeah, I have a question for you. And he's like, okay. And I'm like, indeed. Would you care if I use my same wedding planner if she's still available? Married me to Jim. And he's like, I don't care. I'm like, oh, perfect. Called her up. She's still available. We were, like, tight as heck now. And so she pulled it off really easy and helped me a ton with that. The first moment that I remember the most was when she's over in the window waiting for. To know when my cue was to bring my kids and me down, because our kids walked us down the aisle. So his kids were. Walked him. And it's when she took me over to that window, and I see him with his kids walking to his spot. And I just was. I started my. My. My makeup artist had just gotten dressed because she's also one of my dearest friends. She was just rushing to go get dressed to be able to see the ceremony. And so she can't touch up my makeup. So we're all, like, you know, blowing in my eyes, and, like, my. I'm patting him, and I'm like, you know, saying words like hemorrhoid fart, like, things that just make me laugh instead of, like, actually, like, crying. And so. So I'm trying to get it off my mind. So that was the first special moment. And then the second one, hands down, I mean, they're tied, but is when my children walk me down. It was just. There was something so special about my daughter. Was the kind of. My flower girl, like, you know, was dorky. She was just throwing a couple rose petals just to act like, just to make the picture. And then I was with my two sons. They were walking. It was just, like, I could get emotional. That was the best day. It was the Best moment.
[61:47]
A
Good. I'm so happy for you. It looked beautiful. Those photos were unbelievable. All right, well, I can't let you go without talking about Real Housewives one more time and what's going on right now in this season. So it's the 2020 seasons. It's a huge milestone for them. Do you think this season is delivering?
[62:05]
B
Oh, gosh. You have to go there.
[62:07]
A
I just. I guess I have to.
[62:09]
B
The funny thing is, I can't tell a lie, so I have to be honest. But. And I podcast with Carlos King about recapping it, so it's already gonna be out there today. Cause we just talked about it. But it is slow burn right now. It is a slow burn. It is. You know, like I told him on the podcast this morning, I just said we didn't mention Tamara's name once because she's sitting on as a wallflower. You know, she's one of my closest friends, so I can. I can complain about that with her, but. And she knows I feel this way, and she feels that way probably, too. She just was. You know, she had a really rough season, so I think she was just trying to, like, not have a rough season again. So, yeah, it's kind of boring. What do you think? But this is what I would say, and this is what I told Carlos. I said, here's the deal. Beverly Hills. Because we pod about that together, too. We recap that together. I said, beverly Hills took us till season eight. Or, I'm sorry, episode eight. For it to get, like, we were, like, jumping in our chair. I'm like, so let's give it a moment. This is only five. Let's give it till eight. Maybe it's gonna pick up.
[63:04]
A
What do you think that I was just gonna say that? Because, again, I don't watch all the seasons of any of the shows, but I remember, like, some of the Salt Lake seasons, they were very slow. And all of a sudden you're like, oh, wait, this is really good. Same thing with all the. You know, for me, I feel like, you know, once in a while, you have to. You have to give it a while. You have to get into the characters. You have to see what's going on. But I do notice that Tamara seems a lot more tepid than she's been. Yeah. Subdued. And I didn't know if that was because she was taking, you know, advice from the fans from last season or whatever it was, that she was too much or that, you know, something was going on or, you know, I just didn't know what you thought? Cause I knew that you were friends with her, so that's interesting.
[63:44]
B
I think it's all of the above. I think it's that. I think that she just, you know, she got really torn apart season 18 with me and then torn apart season 19 when Teddi got diagnosed. And that was the hardest time of her. Like, just. I mean, she caught me crying almost every day that I ever. It was just crying because of Teddy, and just. You didn't have the answers. And so I just think she had such a tough season, and the fans, and I think she just was like, you know, I'm just gonna. I'll just chill, you know?
[64:11]
A
And now having this podcast with Carlos, how is that going? Does it. Is it hard for you to recap, or it's super easy and you love it? Oh, no.
[64:19]
B
Well, it's hard only because I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, because it's like, you're only there to really give your opinion about that episode. It's not that you're judging their character. It's not that you're, you know. And so it's hard for me in that aspect. And I am friends with a lot. You know, I feel like I've got friendly relationships with a lot of them, and especially Tamara. I mean, I'll call her sometimes. I'll be like, ugh, I might have misstepped, you know, misspoke on my podcast with Carla. Sorry. And she. She's like, I don't care, Alexis. And I'm like, oh, I don't know. You might not like it. And she just laughs it off. But, you know, I just. I guess the number one thing when you're podcasting and recapping shows is just that you can hurt people's feelings. Probably because it happened when I was on season 18 and being the villain. So it's just. That's the only part that's difficult. But other than that, he's a hoot. We have such good chemistry, and we just are such good, naturally good friends. So, yeah.
[65:06]
A
Yeah, you guys have really good chemistry. It's easy to watch. And let's listen to. You know, I'm curious if you want to be back on tv, like, if Bravo called you tomorrow or any. Or any network, would you want to go back into some sort of reality show?
[65:20]
B
I would say absolutely. I think that it would be, you know, first of all, I would have to fit in with all my family and all the stuff that's, you know, happening with my family now. My. I'm starting. I'm close to becoming an empty nester, but I'm not there. I'm not that yet. So it would have to work for that. But yeah, I mean, I'm open minded to other avenues. I mean, why not? If you can make some money and, and as long as the premise is positive and not like, you know, I don't know. There was that one Survivor show. I forget what the name of it was, but it was like I first, I saw the preview for it first and I was like, well, that'd be fun to do. And then I watched and I'm like, okay, that would never. And it's a reality. I'm like, I could never do that. Like they're like dropped on an island and like you have to find your own food.
[65:59]
A
You mean like naked and afraid? Would you ever do that?
[66:02]
B
Not that when it's with celebrities though, it's with it's celebrities. They drop you on an island.
[66:07]
A
Right.
[66:07]
B
And you have to. I'm just like, I thought, I thought it sounded funny that I watched the first one and I'm like, I would die. I would be paying them to send me home after the first hour. I'll be like, what do you need? Let's go back on.
[66:19]
A
Oh my God, that's hysterical. Okay, I have some rapid fire questions for you. Okay. Who is the most underrated housewife?
[66:26]
B
Underrated of all franchises are just O.C.
[66:28]
A
all.
[66:30]
B
Oh. Oh, gosh. Well, that's really hard because I don't watch a ton of the others. I guess for me I would say Amanda Francis because I loved her and adored her on Beverly Hills and now we just found out she's not coming back. So I, I don't know if that's. There's rumors that she quit and there's rumors that she was let go. I don't know which is true, but I think she was underrated if she. Especially if she didn't get asked back. But I love and adore her on the show.
[66:56]
A
Funniest Housewife. Vicki Smartest.
[67:05]
B
Well, I guess Heather, if I can only think of OC I'm trying to branch out. I don't know enough of the other
[67:10]
A
of people, you know, Obviously. Yeah.
[67:12]
B
Kyle Richards is very intelligent too, so I would say one of them.
[67:16]
A
Yeah, I was going to say Kyle Biggest diva.
[67:20]
B
Oh. Oh. I mean that would have probably been Lisa Vanderpump if she was still on.
[67:26]
A
Okay. Worst dressed.
[67:28]
B
Oh, gosh. Plead the Fifth.
[67:30]
A
Okay. Most Misunderstood me. Best producer.
[67:38]
B
Wait, of the like, like, of the housewife cast.
[67:41]
A
Or the producers of the housewife cast.
[67:44]
B
Best producer. I don't really think any, from my experience, and I can only go on that. Oh, you mean, like, if they're producing their own storyline.
[67:52]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Oh,
[67:57]
B
I might have to say Gina Kirchenheimer.
[67:59]
A
Okay. Most surprising celebrity fan.
[68:05]
B
Oh, I don't really. I don't know.
[68:11]
A
Okay.
[68:12]
B
I don't.
[68:12]
A
There was no celebrity that ever reached out to you or that you saw was a huge.
[68:15]
B
No.
[68:16]
A
And I know.
[68:16]
B
I heard that I'm. Rihanna just reached out to Amanda Francis and. No, Rihanna never reached out to me.
[68:22]
A
Okay. All right, so nobody. All of a sudden. It wasn't like Tom Cruise wrote you and said, hey, I'm a huge fan.
[68:27]
B
No, no. I have not been DMed by any a list celebrity. I know I'm a Z list, and I get it.
[68:32]
A
But it's right. Oh, my goodness.
[68:34]
B
Okay, now I'll probably think of someone as soon as they'll be, like, texting you. Can you add this in there?
[68:38]
A
Yeah, exactly. We'll add it in. Okay, so my last question is just for people who really do follow this stuff, and you talked at the beginning about how you feel like it's a lot different, at least the casting process than it was when you were on it. Now kind of, you know, having all these shows out there, and then they're kind of doing spinoffs of all the shows. Do you feel like they're totally different and they're more performative than they were? Like, do you feel like when you were on, it was really about your life and now it's just a bunch of actresses? Or what is your opinion on Housewives at the moment?
[69:10]
B
I. I have to say that I do kind of agree with that. I do feel like back when. Like, When I filmed 18, I was remembering back to 5 through 8, and I was like, wow, it's a totally different animal. And I was actually talking to Vicki about. And she agreed to. Because she just came back, you know, and she's been off for four years. Yeah, it's. It's. It just has changed. And you have to understand that, though, because it evolves, Right? It's been on 20 years. It's going to evolve and change. I definitely think it was more organic. And I don't know if organic is the right word. Maybe I'm misusing that word. But it was definitely more of just following our life and not having to worry about a handbag and a dildo being the storyline. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know Yeah, I don't know.
[69:51]
A
I hear what you're saying. Okay. And then my last question is, what are you working on now or what's on your bucket list in the future that you're really excited to do?
[69:59]
B
I cannot tell you. Like, I have been, I'm going through. And this is real. You're only have a 4. Is your 14 year old your only kid?
[70:06]
A
Yeah.
[70:06]
B
Okay, so you just wait because this is coming, gonna be coming up tomorrow on you and you're gonna understand it and call me and say, oh my gosh, I totally get what you're saying.
[70:13]
A
Okay.
[70:14]
B
Okay. I am going through a couple complete, like, reinventing myself now because I have been a mom through and through. Like, that has been my number one thing of being completely involved and engrossed in their life. And now that my son just moved into his own apartment because he just got married, my oldest, my daughter's leaving for school and we're taking her August 31st. I know it's a late college and then my other one is going to still live with us for a few years, but is going off to school and he's never home anyway.
[70:47]
A
He's gone.
[70:47]
B
So I feel like, like I'm in this era of. I just told John. I'm like, I'm starting a pickleball. I'm going to be that girl. I'm going to start a pickleball. I might start my own new club of something. I don't know what, but a book reading club or something. I don't know. And then, yeah, I mean, we've. My husband and I started a couple companies together that are taking a lot of time. So. But I would, I would look at what do I want to do next now because I am going to have a lot more free time. And it's, it's like you feel sad because everything you've known is changing. But you also. I'm so excited for my kids, but also just kind of, you know, now John and I have more time to figure out what, what do we want to do now.
[71:24]
A
Right. And that's, that's super exciting. I know people always talk about that empty nest syndrome and how difficult and depressing that is, especially for, for women. But at the same time, you've just gotten married, which is exciting because now you're in the space where you can have this new relationship and start fresh, which is super exciting. Last thing I'll say to you is that I have a pickleball court in my backyard here. So next time you and John come To pond Palm beach, please come over and we will play pickleball.
[71:50]
B
Because that's the first thing is I have to learn.
[71:53]
A
That's fine. That's super easy to learn, super fun. And you know, my husband, who is similar to yours in age, I guess, is always, you know, telling me how injured his hip gets from playing. So I will give you that one. And he's a former athlete, so it's funny, you know, but he has to ice himself from playing, but not from playing tennis. So it is, it can be dangerous.
[72:14]
B
Interesting. Wait, so pickleball, he has to ice himself but not when he plays tennis.
[72:18]
A
Correct, correct. And you'll find that that's the thing. Well, it's a smaller court and the, the movements are much quicker and the. And you are moving quicker. You don't have enough space to run. So a lot of people get.
[72:31]
B
Barring more, you're doing more of the impact of your hip move.
[72:34]
A
Okay. Totally, totally. And so anyways, you'll find that a lot of people will tell you once you start to be careful because you'll feel it in places where you. You haven't felt. Felt it before.
[72:43]
B
Okay.
[72:44]
A
Yeah, exactly. But it was so nice to meet you. Tell people where they can follow you or hear more about you.
[72:50]
B
I'm such the worst social media person ever. I'm just Alexis underscore Bellino still. I mean, it's Jansen when you look up my name, but it's Alexis Underscore Bellino on Instagram. I'm really not on. I have a TikTok, but I'm never on it, so I don't want to really don't give you that. But yeah, it's just. I'm boring. I'm simple.
[73:05]
A
You're not boring and you're anything but simple. It's been an honor to have met you. I do hope that we stay in touch and I can't wait to see what's next in your life.
[73:13]
B
I'm coming to play pickleball one day.
[73:15]
A
Perfect. I love it. If you've enjoyed today's episode, don't let it end here. Our Patreon community has become one of my favorite parts of Misunderstood. It's where I can become more personal, answer your questions, share what's really happening behind the scenes, and continue conversations that simply don't fit into the public podcast. Whether you want bonus episodes, exclusive behind the scenes means access my Palm Beach Life series, monthly giveaways, or even a one on one conversation with me. There's a membership tier that's perfect for you. I truly love to welcome you into our Insider club. Just visit patreon. Com Misunderstood with Rachel Ukatelle or click the link in the show notes.